We've had rough times but seem to want only us! But his marijuana use is a problem for me!
Q. Hi, everyone. Hope everyone is doing well. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years now. And we seem to love each other so much. And i sat seem becuz we say we love each other to the max but we do many things to hurt each other. And find it ...
A. 19 September 2017: I agree with Cindy,
He is smoking pot because he wants to. He quit for a while to placate you enough that you would stay with him. Once he felt the relationship was secure again, he went back to smoking.
You can't change him. You can't change... (read in full...)
Am I still a virgin? And how can I have pain free intercourse when I'm ready?
Q. Hi I wanted to know this question everyone is telling me I am still a virgin but here goes .. The first time I had sex he only put the tip in I bleed a little bit and he says I am still like a virgin because he did ain't push it all the way in the ...
A. 19 September 2017: Nope, sorry to burst your bubble - penis in vagina = no longer a virgin. Whether he "only" put in 1/2 inch or 6 inches.
Bleeding has nothing to do with virginity for the most part. If you seem to bleed when trying to have sex, going and getting ... (read in full...)
His teapot has his and his ex's names and wedding date on it! Is it appropriate to ask if I can replace it?
Q. My partner of 18 months is divorced. At the time of his wedding to his ex-wife he received a personalised tea pot with their first names and wedding date printed on the side. It's a nice big pot and he uses it, but I quietly feel uncomfortable and ...
A. 19 September 2017: Yes, it's fine. Tell him to put the teapot away with the shared names on it. Better yet... GO find a unique teapot that both of you will like.
I would not buy a "copy" just without the names. (unless that is the ONLY teapot in the World he will ... (read in full...)
I want to marry my cousin's grand daughter.
Q. My aunt has a son.That would make him and I first cousins. My first cousin has 3 daughters. Lets say the oldest girl is named Tasha.Lets go a bit further and say Tasha has 2 daughters.One name Mary and the other one named Sue.Is it wrong for me to ...
A. 18 September 2017: I agree, WHY go look for a wife within your family? Are you that hard up for finding someone?
And she is 25, you are 50.
Yes, there are people who enjoy the spring/winter thing. Personally, though, you are a WHOLE generation older and appare... (read in full...)
I'm worried my boyfriend is stealing from me.
Q. Hi, I really need some advice - I've been in a very happy relationship for over six months now. My boyfriend is very loving and caring, and we've never even had an argument - we just seem very in tune with one another. But something odd happ...
A. 18 September 2017: I agree, too soon to confront.
Add a 10 or 20 Pound note and DO not touch it. If that disappears - ask him if he has seen it as you were saving it for XYZ.
Then gauge his response.
Also, check behind the furniture :)
... (read in full...)
Why can't I remember him?
Q. The year after I graduated from high school, I had a sexual encounter with a boy I had graduated with and known well. 40 years later we have reconnected...problem is I do not remember the encounter and he remembers every detail right down to what I ...
A. 18 September 2017: I too am wondering if he has the right girl.
Who doesn't remember one (or THE one) first guy you had sex with? Now you may not remember details such as what you/he wore but the general gist of it? Sure you would remember.
So either HE has th... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wanted an open relationship but I can't cope with it.
Q. I'm struggling with the pain and shock involved in starting an open relationship. I've been dating my girlfriend for about 6 months. Recently we agreed to open the relationship and allow each other to have sex with other people. She's the one wh...
A. 18 September 2017: I have to agree with Cindy (as usual)
NO ONE is making you do this. You have tried (in order to please her) but it's NOT working for you and it's going against your own moral code and standards. So tell her, wish her well and END it.
There i... (read in full...)
She has bruises and I think she's cheating with the Baby Daddy
Q. My lady gets mad couse I pointed out two bruises on her back she didn't have before last time we had sex was 5 days ago she takes of one morning to school with baby Dady for conference metting regarding son school I find her on find I phone she ...
A. 18 September 2017: I get bruises all the time and I have no idea where they come from. I have always bruised easily. But I really don't think I have EVER had bruises from sex (that I know of) Of course if they are having sex in weird places, perhaps - though why would ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend won't speak to me. What did I do wrong?
Q. I'm with my current boyfriend for about 2 years and yest was hia bday. He thinks bdays are overrated, but I still got him gift card and since he didn't want cake, got him a small cake and went to see him. I was hungry by the time I reached his ...
A. 18 September 2017: I agree fully with Cindy.
He is a tool and he was cruising for a fight. You, on the other hand, weren't exactly being respectful to his wishes.
I think when someone says, I don't believe in birthdays it means nothing to me, then RESPECT tha... (read in full...)
The sex is just not working out. What are we doing wrong?
Q. My boyfriend often complains that we don't have enough sex. But he doesn't initiate ot, or try to turn me on. The other day we were hugging in bed then he rolled over, saying that he had to because he was horny ... like, sex could've happened if he ...
A. 18 September 2017: So he is not just taken you for granted on the sex department (that YOU do all the initiating) but in other departments too.
I would actually be pretty PISSED off by being told that you "raped" him by initiating. Does he really think that kin... (read in full...)
My ex came back into my life only to leave again!
Q. He reached out to me after about 6 months of not speaking, during that time he was dating someone else. We ended up meeting up to talk, and we had great conversation. He apologized for things that wet wrong with us and opened up to me that "he just ...
A. 17 September 2017: While I get you are hurt by his actions, at least you KNOW now to not waste any more time on this guy. And yes he DID use you as a rebound/booty call. But you two weren't "dating" per se again so it was a night of sex that didn't end the way you ... (read in full...)
Any advise on this relationship will be welcome.
Q. I met a woman online about 2 yrs ago where she had posted she was divorced but was actually still married and her husband left her and was seeking a divorce. I told her she needed to finish her divorce before we could date because I don’t date ...
A. 16 September 2017: Set your e-mail up to automatically put her e-mails in the spam folder. No point in even reading them, YOU owe her nothing.
She will probably continue with this passive-aggressive attitude for a while so KEEP ignoring her. IF she shows up at your ... (read in full...)
The sex is just not working out. What are we doing wrong?
Q. My boyfriend often complains that we don't have enough sex. But he doesn't initiate ot, or try to turn me on. The other day we were hugging in bed then he rolled over, saying that he had to because he was horny ... like, sex could've happened if he ...
A. 16 September 2017: How do you resolve it?
By ACTUALLY talking about it.
He makes the presumption that telling you he is HORNY will automatically make you horny too. Or it IS his way of initiating.
Sounds like he has a bit of a "porn" mentality. You know when... (read in full...)
How can I repair the damage done to our friendship?
Q. Hello folks. Just looking for advice. About 2-3months ago I meet a younger guy. I'm 33 he's 24. We met at work. I was between jobs and looking to earn while I looked for something else so found a part time job where I met, I'll call him Tom. I wo...
A. 16 September 2017: Yep, the best thing you can do is learn from it.
And never involve other people like that again. Who knows what kind of agenda Mary had/has.... Or how she articulated the "hearsay".
Shit happens and we move on.
If he got THIS dramatic over i... (read in full...)
Is my husband bisexual, I see he's been looking at gay porn!
Q. I found my husband has been looking at gay porn. He also looks at regular porn... more than the gay. The regular doesn't bother me, I'm open to a lot but this has me totally freaked! Is he bi? Is there anyway a straight man would view this? Please ...
A. 15 September 2017: I know women who watch lesbian porn who are pretty much as straight as you can get. The reasoning for that choice of porn (because yeah, I asked) is that WOMEN and WOMEN's pleasure is the ONLY focus, it's not demanding to women, there is no "let me ... (read in full...)
I want my husband to share me
Q. i want my husband to share me. i have had this desire for a long time. it started when my husband told me, during foreplay one night, he wanted to watch me have sex with another man. we talked about it and i said i would like to do it. but afte...
A. 15 September 2017: DISCLAIMER:
First, I will say I do not speak from experience as this is something I wouldn't do myself and my post will reflect my views.
While I love a good fantasy (naughty or nice) I think the reason we DO fantasize is that we want full con... (read in full...)
My step daughter is making my life hell!
Q. My step daughter is making my life hell. I'm a nurse on a trauma unit and I work nights. My job is stressful enough without coming home to a battle every day. My husband is far from perfect but his main flaw is his unwillingness to discipline his ...
A. 15 September 2017: How old is she?
How long did you date before getting married and how was your relationship with her before marriage?
How is her relationship with her mother?
Is she getting any kind of counseling?
This is not "normal" kid" behavior. For ... (read in full...)
What are basic expectations people in relationships have in regards to social media?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together six months. Everything seems good between us and he's always expressing how much he loves me, wants to stay together for ever and how I'm beautiful in his eyes etc. One of the few issues we have, though I...
A. 14 September 2017: Are the girls he has added real life FRIENDS or just chicks on Facebook?
If they are Real Life Friends I don't see what being in a relationship has to do with anything. It's not like he can control how "naughty" their pictures are.
If they... (read in full...)
Ex-boyfriend (considerably older) left me for someone else while being on holiday. I don't understand it and am now thinking of asking for closure.
Q. Hi, will try to keep this as short as I can. A little background: A few months ago I met a charming older man (49 years old) and what began as a short romance started developing into something more serious and longer, with him (he lived in a diffe...
A. 14 September 2017: I think he KNEW her before he started dating you but it wasn't serious with her YET. So he wanted one last "hurrah!" with a young pretty thing (no offense) and dated you for a little while.
When the opportunity struck for him to actually DATE her... (read in full...)
Husband has changed after marriage, is aggressive in bed and demands rough anal sex. How do I fix things?
Q. Hi was looking for some advice. My husband has changed since we got married he, he became really fussy about everything I do and he's quite aggressive when it comes to being intimate. Nothing I ever do is right or good enough for him anymore. I ...
A. 14 September 2017: I think you need to have a sit-down and talk with him. And if he can't respect YOU then maybe talking to your pastor/priest/vicar and get some counseling through the church.
What he is doing in NOT OK.
As far as working versus not working- how... (read in full...)
I love my husband very much and am quite a 'fangirl' for him but then why am I so attracted to the younger guy?
Q. Hi, I've been married for 10years now. I'm very much still happy in my marriage and I still find my husband very attractive, I have no intention of ever needing or wanting to look elsewhere. Yet I find myself attracted to a younger man that...
A. 14 September 2017: Eh, we all get these little crushes here and there. Being married doesn't change it. I guess it kind of reminds us of the teenage days of posters of hot people on the wall from Bravo magazine... lol
It's how you react to it. Now stalking him on s... (read in full...)
Is my friend's sister not interested? Or is she just forgetful and not very organised like her brother?
Q. Hey all, I'm in a situation that I'm unsure how to judge. Basically randomly one night, I ended up sleeping with one of my very good friends sisters. We have never really spoke previous to that time and it was a bit of a whirlwind how it all ha...
A. 14 September 2017: Tone down the sex talk and ask her out. Don't ask her out for the same night - give a few days notice.
Unlike you, I don't think she is looking for a casual hook up but she is downplaying her interest.
And this is between YOU and HER - not yo... (read in full...)
Huge crush on the petrol station guy but how do I pursue him without looking like a stalker?
Q. So...this is a weird one. I'm pretty sure I'm being weird. So I go to the same petrol station once a week. There is a guy there who is always on early shift which is when I fuel up before driving to work. We always have a chat and increasin...
A. 14 September 2017: So while checking his FB page out, did he appear single?
And why not drop a big hint when next time you flirt with him that he should totally take you out for lunch/coffee... maybe a :"you know we get on like a house on fire, we should absolute... (read in full...)
I didn't ask for his number but I know where he lives so should I just land up and knock on the door? Or is that creepy behaviour?
Q. Hello, so I met this amazing guy last week and hung out at his house most of the night. We hit of so well like we new each other from years ago, before I left we kissed, we both wanted to just be with one another. The problem is we were both so into ...
A. 14 September 2017: Where did you meet him?
Personally... while you had a hot and heavy weekend if he is REALLY interested he will track you down. On Facebook or whatnot (have you checked to see if he has a Facebook?) if he does I'd send him a message on there an... (read in full...)
Husband has changed after marriage, is aggressive in bed and demands rough anal sex. How do I fix things?
Q. Hi was looking for some advice. My husband has changed since we got married he, he became really fussy about everything I do and he's quite aggressive when it comes to being intimate. Nothing I ever do is right or good enough for him anymore. I ...
A. 14 September 2017: The word, NO anal sex comes to mind for me.
Sorry, being married doesn't mean he now owns you or can use your body as he sees fit.
I think you need to have a LONG chat about this. Being "quite" aggressive" about sex is NOT OK if you do not wa... (read in full...)
Are we incompatible if he has these concerns early on?
Q. Dear Cupid, my boyfriend is hurt that I don't spend more time with him and that I'm not giving him enough attention. I have crippling depression and often I am so anxious and so deflated even basic functions are difficult. I still see him at least ...
A. 14 September 2017: Yes, I think if this is an issue now, it will be later on too. And if you feel suffocated by him wanting to see you more than twice a week, it will be a problem later on too.
Maybe you should focus on getting help for the depression instead ... (read in full...)
Kissing Cousin ... yech!
Q. Hi all, One of my older cousin's has been sending me a lot of boring links lately on messenger , which I never have the time to respond to or know what to say. He has complimented my Facebook profile pictures a lot , which is fine . Then yesterday...
A. 14 September 2017: Do I find it inappropriate?
Eh.. not really. I would just have replied with a September 13th is just September 13th around here. Or look it up and find something else, like: Roald Dahl Day is observed on September 13th.
You are in the 41-50 age... (read in full...)
We just don't DO anything!
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together since we were 17 and although we are happy, I feel our relationship is just really boring. I was watching a show the other day and this couple did so many fun activities together and when we talk his sister, ...
A. 14 September 2017: Are you doing anything "wrong"?
Not really, but maybe you could look into some thing that you think would be fun for the two of you to do. It doesn't have to climb Mt. Everest or learn how to be a sumo wrestler - but making FUN memories are a go... (read in full...)
Parents blighting my life
Q. How do you cope with toxic parents? And how should you go about protecting your child from them? Breaking off contact isn't something I want to do. My mother can be wonderful but also horrible. She makes snide comments, is passive aggressive, and ...
A. 14 September 2017: Why is breaking contact not something you want to do? You can't change your mother. All you can do is LIMIT how much influence she has on your life and the life of your children.
You can't FIX her issues and make her the person you would like her... (read in full...)
Do I call him out on his porno lie?
Q. Me and my boyfriend were trying to find something to watch and he jokingly said "porn" - we're very open, so I said I was up for it and I'd like to see what he's into. But he then told me he didn't watch porn, that he had me and didn't need it, and ...
A. 14 September 2017: Do you call him out? You can. I'd tell him you know there is no need to lie about it. I don't feel like you watching porn is detrimental to our relationship (if that is how you feel) or whatnot.
Don't forget what people like to watch as far as p... (read in full...)
My fiance is in debt, was married previously and isn't making any real efforts to be with me
Q. Hello everyone. I need advice on my situation. I will try to make it as short and concise as I can. I am in my early 30's. With a bachelor's degree. Currently in between jobs, but have a job offer in the US. I am awaiting my immigration peti...
A. 13 September 2017: I totally get you. It must be frustrating. BUT this is where you are at and since neither of you can change the past YOU have to consider YOUR future and what YOU want. And what is realistic.
So for now, FOCUS on what YOU need to do for YOU.
... (read in full...)
Not ready to meet the kids - but how to tell her?
Q. Hi! I started dating a girl about 5 weeks ago (I'm 36 and she's 34). She has 2 children. She said the other day that she spoke to her ex, told him about me and that she'd like me to meet the children and he said that he's fine with it. I really a...
A. 13 September 2017: I think you are being smart in not meeting the kids yet. I think it's RUSHING it if you do it now.
It's only been 5 weeks!
I would tell her that you appreciate that she talked to the ex-partner about you but that you feel it's too soon. Not ju... (read in full...)
My fiance is in debt, was married previously and isn't making any real efforts to be with me
Q. Hello everyone. I need advice on my situation. I will try to make it as short and concise as I can. I am in my early 30's. With a bachelor's degree. Currently in between jobs, but have a job offer in the US. I am awaiting my immigration peti...
A. 13 September 2017: He might not even be able to sponsor you with his low income and high debt ratio. Maybe that is why he feels knocking the credit card debt down could help.
5-digit credit card debt is very vague. Is it 10,000 or 90,000? Again it pertains to my or... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to draw a line under this?
Q. I was dating a guy for almost two years and in March of this year my father got really sick from cancer. He passed away sadly at the end of April. The guy I was with was a complete ass towards me when my father had passed away. And during April I ...
A. 13 September 2017: I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad.
Yes, I think you did the right thing in ignoring him. If I were you, I would go and have my number changed as well. So he REALLY can't get in touch with you anymore. Blocking him isn't going to stop him as h... (read in full...)
How do I find some interesting dates?
Q. I went on a date recently. I had loads of interests in common, he was attractive and he has a stable job. We have a second date. There is only one problem I found him a little boring but I find this is my fault as I normally find people boring ...
A. 13 September 2017: Define interesting?
Maybe that will help you in your quest to find "interesting" people.
I think we are all (to a point) a bit boring. But that comes down to WHAT we find interesting.
Are YOU interesting? And how?
I think it's a really v... (read in full...)
What's this guy trying to say?
Q. What's this guy playing at? I've been seeing a guy for about 3 months as a no strings attached, it's sort of become FWB as we've gotten to know on another. I've never thought he's wanted more as he's never suggested a date or anything. We hav...
A. 13 September 2017: I think he might want more than an FWB and that is why he is "online" and back on the dating site. HE is still looking and my guess is, so are you.
If you see him online then you are obviously online too and vice verse.
I think for many people ... (read in full...)
He doesn't understand why I find this kinda rude. Am I being irrational?
Q. My boyfriend and his baby's mom have a seven year old son together. They've been broke up for years. About a year ago she got locked up for running with the wrong crowd and he was unable to get custody at the time due to loosing his place so her ...
A. 13 September 2017: I agree with Cindy here.
I don't think he is being rude. The ex-GF's parents are family - his CHILD's family and in that way HIS family. Extended family but still family.
When you date someone with a kid THIS is the kind of situations you c... (read in full...)
Am I moving on too fast? And how and when do I tell the new guy about my past and the fact that my ex still lives in the same house as me?
Q. I have recently split with my partner of 8 years , we have fallen out of love and we both thought it was the best decision to cut it off. He still lives in the same house as me though in seperate rooms and he still helps with shopping/lifts etc - ...
A. 13 September 2017: Finish and be done with ONE relationship before getting into another. And with that I mean to be on your own. Living with an ex-partner can seem shady to most people, especially if you keep it a secret. It can also create drama the moment you want ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's mother suddenly seems to hate me and thinks I'm an awful influence on him. Should I stay with him or leave?
Q. My boyfriend who is 23 years old and I have been together for about 2 years now. At the beginning, maybe the first 3-4 months of the relationship his mother and I were very close. She would text me every single day, buy me things and call me her ...
A. 12 September 2017: I think his mother is unhappy in her own marriage so she is projecting the attention she craves from her spouse unto her son.
She knows if she made those RIDICULOUS demands to his face he would tell her no, THAT is why she went behind his back and... (read in full...)
Is it weird that my female friend always wants a payment for favours?
Q. Is it weird if your female friend always wants/expects payment for favours? We've been friends since high school, and she's never been the "I'll pay for you" type, unless you ask directly and you'd probably have to pay her back afterwards. I'm ...
A. 12 September 2017: Maybe she has learned from experience that attaching a price makes people not presume she will "just" do it.
If she is the past have had people take advantage of her, asking for money nips that in the bud. Or money is actually tight for her so s... (read in full...)
I moved to be nearer to her, now she has broken up with me.
Q. I'm fifty years old and moved over a year ago to be near my girlfriend she is 48 and I thought she was the love of my life. Suddenly she started saying she was busy all of the time and tired So I havnt seen her in two weeks. Tonight she broke up ...
A. 12 September 2017: Your ex-GF has chosen this toxic room mate over you. Why? Who knows maybe she likes the implications that the room mate "NEEDS" her more. She gets to "save" the room mate from herself. Even though she is actually enabling a pretty destructive ... (read in full...)
I moved to be nearer to her, now she has broken up with me.
Q. I'm fifty years old and moved over a year ago to be near my girlfriend she is 48 and I thought she was the love of my life. Suddenly she started saying she was busy all of the time and tired So I havnt seen her in two weeks. Tonight she broke up ...
A. 12 September 2017: Have you ever done a background check on her? It seems weird that someone who is a friend, co-worker and room mate would attempt suicide if there wasn't more going on...
Sounds more like they were/are an item as well.... (read in full...)
I moved to be nearer to her, now she has broken up with me.
Q. I'm fifty years old and moved over a year ago to be near my girlfriend she is 48 and I thought she was the love of my life. Suddenly she started saying she was busy all of the time and tired So I havnt seen her in two weeks. Tonight she broke up ...
A. 12 September 2017: Sounds like she wanted you to rescue her from this room mate situation in her mind but not in reality.
Some people have some rather dysfunctional friendships and relationships - sounds like the one she has with her room mate is one. BUT she gets... (read in full...)
I moved to be nearer to her, now she has broken up with me.
Q. I'm fifty years old and moved over a year ago to be near my girlfriend she is 48 and I thought she was the love of my life. Suddenly she started saying she was busy all of the time and tired So I havnt seen her in two weeks. Tonight she broke up ...
A. 11 September 2017: Were you moving part of a "plan" to be together? Was it discussed or did you make that choice alone?
I ask because it seems to me (and you perhaps) that the logical step in an LDR is one party or both move closer to the other in order to make the... (read in full...)
How can I repair the damage done to our friendship?
Q. Hello folks. Just looking for advice. About 2-3months ago I meet a younger guy. I'm 33 he's 24. We met at work. I was between jobs and looking to earn while I looked for something else so found a part time job where I met, I'll call him Tom. I wo...
A. 9 September 2017: I agree with Auntie BimBim,
You screwed up. You are not a kid and having other people tell yet other people you like them is immature and a dumb move. Why? Because you have no control over HOW it's conveyed and WHAT is conveyed.
He made the c... (read in full...)
Any advise on this relationship will be welcome.
Q. I met a woman online about 2 yrs ago where she had posted she was divorced but was actually still married and her husband left her and was seeking a divorce. I told her she needed to finish her divorce before we could date because I don’t date ...
A. 9 September 2017: Good Lord, OP
She is NOT perfection. She is NOT a good match for you.
She is TOXIC! and you are HURTING not just yourself but your kids by keeping her around.
There IS a reason she has been married so many times and it hasn't worked out. Th... (read in full...)
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