Should I leave my job to go work with my Ex boss, who I'm sleeping with?
Q. I need some work related advice!! Back in March, I was working for a car dealership that I loved! But my GM, We'll call him X, ended up quitting and went to work at another dealership.. It's important to mention that the night he quit, we had se...
A. 9 August 2017: I'd consider that charge as a warning sign and stay away.
If you aren't happy with your current job look for a job elsewhere, NOT where he is at.... (read in full...)
Should I leave my job to go work with my Ex boss, who I'm sleeping with?
Q. I need some work related advice!! Back in March, I was working for a car dealership that I loved! But my GM, We'll call him X, ended up quitting and went to work at another dealership.. It's important to mention that the night he quit, we had se...
A. 9 August 2017: What kind of charges?
Yikes!... (read in full...)
I regret oversharing my private life
Q. What do here? I feel I may have "overshared" at work telling a few people I am having surgery in the next 2 months. I have told a few people 9 (not everyone..! there are 20 others who don't know and wont...) I am having surgery soon, and I need...
A. 8 August 2017: OP, you know oversharing would be?
If you told co-workers where you are in your cycle or how sore you are after getting a new BF. THAT would be awkward for others and definitely TMI and oversharing.
So relax, it's OK to talk about what's goi... (read in full...)
I don't want to meet a woman my boyfriend fancies! Your advice?
Q. When I had been dating my partner for a couple of months he showed me his old school friend's facebook page who had just married. He said his friend'a wife is so attractive and and he thought he was punching above his weight when they were dating. I ...
A. 8 August 2017: OP, you don't sound demented just insecure.
If you want compliments from your Bf, try and give him one or two. See if he picks up on that. And it's also OK to tell him, you know, I wish you would compliment me occasionally.
But really you don't... (read in full...)
My love interest is ill .... is it worth waiting for him?
Q. I am in my 30s and my love interest is in his 40s but we are just friends. I haven't seen him in a long time and have seen recently that his health is bad. He struggles to walk, has asthma and drinks. He randomly said to me he would not be able to ...
A. 8 August 2017: To put it bluntly, he is not even a fixer upper, he is a condemned building that is falling down around him.
He struggles to walk and he drinks those are two pretty tough things to deal with. The struggling to walk might BE due to other medical ... (read in full...)
Should I tell his girlfriend he's been having an online affair with me?
Q. So I met a guy online and instantly fell for him. We live cross country so the chances of us meeting were pretty slim I guess. Still, he told me how much he liked me and wished he lived closer so I could be his girlfriend. At one point, he even said ...
A. 8 August 2017: Honestly? The guy has nudes of you. He might also have recordings from the cam sessions. Which put you in a rather precarious situation. He can upload those to anywhere. So if I were you I'd see if I could get him to delete those FIRST. YOU don't ... (read in full...)
I think my personal trainer is crushing on me
Q. Hey guys! So I've recently joined a gym that was recommended by a personal trainer who works there and bought a guitar from me. I started regularly going to his fun classes and then he decided to give me some one on one training as we would weight ...
A. 8 August 2017: Not necessarily. It might mean he has got you to get a membership and he is off to find more members.
Or he has a GF/partner and he doesn't want YOU to misunderstand his friendly behavior.
I don't think I have EVER met a personal trainer... (read in full...)
My ex bf contacted me, I told my bf about it, mistake or no?
Q. I dated this guy briefly, but broke up w/him due to him being a control freak and somewhat mentally unstable. His number was blocked, but the other day I deleted all my blocked numbers (I didn't even know it was his number). He ended up messaging ...
A. 8 August 2017: I agree with Cindy,
It's not a mistake to tell your current BF that the ex-bf contacted you and that you told him to not contact you again.
And I also agree that you can't expect the ex-bf to "honor" your request, so that leaves it up to ... (read in full...)
Should I leave my job to go work with my Ex boss, who I'm sleeping with?
Q. I need some work related advice!! Back in March, I was working for a car dealership that I loved! But my GM, We'll call him X, ended up quitting and went to work at another dealership.. It's important to mention that the night he quit, we had se...
A. 8 August 2017: Are you still sleeping with him?
If so ASK him if he still wants you to apply for a job there.
However, it might NOT be in your best interest (like people have told you in ALL your other posts with this same question) to work with a boss who ... (read in full...)
I regret oversharing my private life
Q. What do here? I feel I may have "overshared" at work telling a few people I am having surgery in the next 2 months. I have told a few people 9 (not everyone..! there are 20 others who don't know and wont...) I am having surgery soon, and I need...
A. 8 August 2017: Eh, don't sweat the little things OP.
It's not uncommon for people to share such news because they are worried, anxious or even excited.
As long as you don't go on and on and on about it, it's all good. There will be other stuff to talk ab... (read in full...)
What makes a person act like my ex did?
Q. I was dating a guy for about two years. Around April of 2017 he breaks off the relationship. I was being needy and angry during that time because I was in my senior year of college and it was finals. And my father had stage four cancer he got really ...
A. 8 August 2017: First off, I'm sorry for the loss of your father.
As much as this all hurt, be glad you dodged a bullet. Can you imagine being married, raise a family to a guy who will LIE to his own father, have OTHER (you) lie to his father so he can look goo... (read in full...)
How do I fix things and apologize in order to reconcile?
Q. My ex who I broke up with about 5 months ago asked me if I wanted to hang out yesterday with her and her kids and we spent the whole day together playing in the pool and stuff at the house and cooking dinner. We have been good friends the last ...
A. 7 August 2017: What did you do that caused the break-up?
Is that issued talked about and dealt with?
If not, sit her down (not with the kids around) and tell her how you feel and perhaps ask her what she needs from you.
She might be OK with "just" being ... (read in full...)
I don't want to meet a woman my boyfriend fancies! Your advice?
Q. When I had been dating my partner for a couple of months he showed me his old school friend's facebook page who had just married. He said his friend'a wife is so attractive and and he thought he was punching above his weight when they were dating. I ...
A. 7 August 2017: So what? Are you now going to avoid any female he thinks is attractive?
Why?
She might be a super great person. Who knows you might even make a friend in her. So why be petty? Because she is prettier than you?
OP, there will ALWAYS be peo... (read in full...)
Why do I want attention all the time from men?
Q. Why do I always enjoy attention from men I can't have? I am a single good looking girl (I'm not trying to be vain but just to paint a picture) and unfortunately I have not had luck in finding a loyal honest man- I have honest though that at work I ...
A. 7 August 2017: Why do you do it?
Because you think it's a "safe" way to get attention. After all, they are married so shouldn't be interested. I totally agree with the anon.
At some point, it will not be enough and you will either cross a line or (hopeful... (read in full...)
Is my ex stalking me?
Q. So this girl I used to talk to wouldn't commit to me for 3 years but then got upset when she went through my phone and saw I talked to other girls even tho we weren't seeing each other anymore but remained friends. but before that she kept saying ...
A. 7 August 2017: You spend 3 years with her, so it's only natural that you CARE(D) for her. And there is nothing wrong in hoping she might change her mind, but even that is not in your best interest. If she couldn't commit to you after 3 years, do you think she ever ... (read in full...)
He lied about getting back with his ex wife several years ago.
Q. Hi, advice really needed.. I have been with someone three months and we really get on well majority of the time but there is one thing. He told me that he got divorced in 2011 and as i am on his Facebook i can see that to be true. However i had a ...
A. 7 August 2017: If he lies about something THAT major, what else will he lie about?
While I don't get going through a new partner's timeline, tags or what have you, on Facebook - I do think it makes sense to glean what you can from a PUBLIC social website.... (read in full...)
How do I say no to my niece without destroying our relationship?
Q. Great site with good advice. I thank all in advance who help me out here. My neice is an actor...kind of well known and I am looking forward to seeing her when I am in her part of the country at the end of August. I have sent her a few emails a...
A. 7 August 2017: I'm with Auntie BimBim,
It's OK to say no, I don't have that kind of money. Is there anything else I can do to help?
She already has people enabling her, don't be another one of those.... (read in full...)
Is my ex stalking me?
Q. So this girl I used to talk to wouldn't commit to me for 3 years but then got upset when she went through my phone and saw I talked to other girls even tho we weren't seeing each other anymore but remained friends. but before that she kept saying ...
A. 7 August 2017: Now that you know it was probably her you also know to NOT get into conversations with people claiming to be her friends or whatnot. Just don't accept anyone you don't know in person. That would make sense regardless.
IF there was nothing threaten... (read in full...)
My mother has had custody of my son. I want him back and I've changed but she won't allow me to have him!
Q. [Mod note: flag should be USA] Some background information on me and my situation.. I want to know what others would do, or feel if they were in my position. I had my first daughter when I was 16. I then got married as a minor and we had a son shor...
A. 6 August 2017: Have you even talked to a lawyer?
This really isn't JUST between you and your mom - and maybe your mom is being unfair in thinking you can't redeem yourself, but why have you waited 10 years? And maybe she truly wants to do what SHE thinks i... (read in full...)
Is my ex stalking me?
Q. So this girl I used to talk to wouldn't commit to me for 3 years but then got upset when she went through my phone and saw I talked to other girls even tho we weren't seeing each other anymore but remained friends. but before that she kept saying ...
A. 6 August 2017: Why does she do it?
She doesn't WANT you to move on, in case the new guy doesn't work out.
Keep blocking her.
If you have changed work place and she showed up there it might be a coincidence, after all, it doesn't sound like it WAS her? I... (read in full...)
Boyfriends parents ignore me
Q. Boyfriend's family makes me feel like a burden? I am cordially invited, but when I am there, I feel like I am in the way....
A. 6 August 2017: Who invites you and to what?
Over for a dinner? To family events?
It might be they invite you to be polite, not because they actually want you there :( which I guess kind of suck.
How does your Bf handle this? Does he notice? Does he help ... (read in full...)
Why would he want so badly to sleep with other women
Q. My boyfriend of 3years. Experienced "Swinging" with his former spouse. Now he wants me to experience the lifestyle..saying I'll love it... Its really not something I have ever even thought about. Really doesn't interest me... But I suppose my ...
A. 6 August 2017: WHY?
Because this isn't about you. Or how pretty you are.
This is about him and what HE wants. Whether you want it or not doesn't matter to him.
To say that you will LOVE swinging is (to put it mildly) ridiculous. Some people DO enjoy doi... (read in full...)
Why does my husband of 4 months look at me with disgust?
Q. My husband doesn't tell me I'm beautiful anymore. He yells at me. Demands things. And the hugest thing is he looks at me with disgust. The only person that matters the most to me. Seems to be overwhelmed with disgust whenever he sees me. I ...
A. 6 August 2017: I agree with Denizen,
I think you NEED to take a stand here. And I think you need to get out of there. This isn't good for you. And it doesn't seem like it's good for him either.
So I would bring up the "let's get an annulment/divorc... (read in full...)
My mother has had custody of my son. I want him back and I've changed but she won't allow me to have him!
Q. [Mod note: flag should be USA] Some background information on me and my situation.. I want to know what others would do, or feel if they were in my position. I had my first daughter when I was 16. I then got married as a minor and we had a son shor...
A. 6 August 2017:
Like Ruby said, it is a little hard to give advice when you haven't posted what country you are in.
I would say you probably would have to go through the courts (if you are in the US) to get them back.
You might even have to go throug... (read in full...)
Our family holiday has upset partner's ex!
Q. My boyfriend and I are taking his son, (6) from a previous relationship on holiday with us in September, along with our son (19 months). My sister, brother in law and two nephews (3 and 4) will be there too. I thought everything was good between ...
A. 5 August 2017: I would leave her be. Honestly? Her opinion about who you JOIN on vacation is irrelevant, it's NOT up to her.
Now I get that she feels protective of her son (which is good, a mother SHOULD be protective) but what has your sister done that jus... (read in full...)
My boyfried wont communicate!
Q. My bf and I took a long break but decided to try it again in Dec.My issue is he lives and works 2 hrs away. I haven't seen him in 3 months.I told him I need some form of communication (text,call,video chat)atleast once a day.Not for hrs at a time ...
A. 5 August 2017: I agree with the other two, MissKin and N91
2 hours is not so bad that you can't visit at least once a month. When my husband and I started to date we were 9 hours BY plane! and we saw each other every 2 and 3 months. I was in Europe, he in the S... (read in full...)
Husband's new job takes him away from home.
Q. my husband of two and a half years has accepted a job as a cell phone tower climber and will be starting in two weeks. the job includes full benefits (which is a boost to my salary since we'll be dropping the benefits we have through my employer), ...
A. 5 August 2017: I agree with Auntie BimBim,
it's NOT an easy life style but you two CAN make it work. My husband served in the military which meant he was away from home more than he WAS home. The longest was a 19 months deployment to Afghanistan, the shortest... (read in full...)
Can we survive the distance?
Q. Recently started seeing this guy. We get on great and things are heading is a good direction. After my track history of men, I'm glad I've found someone who I think is genuine and decent. However. He has just told me that he failed his second y...
A. 4 August 2017: How far is the distance? How realistic is it that you two can see each other during that year?
Staying in contact CAN work, Skype, Facetime, email, text, calls, etc - it can be done.
LDR's are tough. MUCH tougher than when you are closer and c... (read in full...)
Colleague keeps rejecting friendly advances
Q. Do I keep trying to talk to this moody younger work colleague? She's 25 and until 7 weeks ago would always say hi and make occasional small talk (she does chat a lot to her buddies,I'm not a buddy) She injured her back, was off work a few...
A. 4 August 2017: You said it yourself, We cannot like everyone.
She is busier feeling sorry for herself than to consider to use her manners or being friendly with you.
I'd keep saying hi but not TRY to be more friendly than that. If she doesn't WANT to chat wit... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my husband's flirting?
Q. My next door neighbour's daughter, who is in her forties, constantly flirts with my husband. He flirts back but then denies he's done anything wrong. I have approached her and asked what she thinks she's playing at. She just laughed. It upsets me...
A. 4 August 2017: Ignore it? If he does it in front of you, roll your eyes and walk away.
Your neighbor's daughter is a grown woman and will do as she pleases, it's not something you can control.
Your husband is a grown man and will do as HE pleases, it's no... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want to talk about sex or have sex. Why?
Q. My bf is 26, I'm 32. He is very sexual, likes porn, been caught cheating several times. We've broken up and just recently got back together. I've noticed that he seems very uncomfortable watching porn with me, talking about sex, and does not like to ...
A. 4 August 2017: So not only is he NOT fulfilling your sexual needs he has also cheated on you. Doesn't sounds like he is a great match for you.
The fact that he will RATHER not have sex with you than having to put in EFFORT for sex to be enjoyable for you show... (read in full...)
Can you hurt yourself using a dildo with no lube?
Q. Can you hurt yourself by using a dildo without Lube and going way too hard at yourself? I believe I may have rip something in my vagina from using a rubber dildo without the lube, I was going pretty hard for a couple days like that, once a day until ...
A. 3 August 2017: I forgot to add, maybe... getting a smaller vibrator for EXTERNAL use (on the clitoris area) is a better idea than a rubber dildo.
This is why:
https://clclt.com/theclog/archives/2011/07/07/dangerous-dildos
https://www.bitchmedi... (read in full...)
My girlfriend goes out with a male friend who makes her feel uncomfortable being too touchy
Q. My girlfriend of 9 months was recently on a night out without me present. She has a few guy friends that I know about that she's been friends with for a few years along with her girl friends and they were all out. One of her guy friends was too ...
A. 3 August 2017: I agree with Denizen,
The best way to deal with this is put the issue on its ear not try and DICTATE who she can talk to and hang out with.
When I say "on its ear" I mean ASK how if she is OK with you having female friends and having the kind ... (read in full...)
I'm at risk of losing my job because of social media and a friend who wanted more than I did?
Q. My friends brother apparently liked me and I didn't k ow that. We talked a lot, he made me laugh hard and he started tutoring me in tarot. He also invited me to his candle studio as a possible apprentice and we hung out a few times. We hung out one ...
A. 3 August 2017: OWN your actions, OP.
If you WILLINGLY have someone tutor you in tarot because you are curious and want to know then OWN it.
Take a break from social media. And maybe.... LIMIT what people at work can see on your social media.
YOU ha... (read in full...)
12 years of hits and misses and I have no idea where I stand with this guy
Q. This is such a ridiculous, trivial situation, but nonetheless it's giving me a headache and I don't know what to do. So, for backstory: I met a guy when I was 17 and fell completely in love with him, we dated for a few months but ultimately, he w...
A. 3 August 2017: Back off - TOTALLY.
If he can't get over you being drunk and saying shit you don't really mean, then he isn't for you.
YOU made the choice (drunk or not) to try and set some odd boundaries and if THAT is a turn off for him there isn't much... (read in full...)
Why is my girlfriend being friendly with a guy that won't leave her alone?
Q. Hey guys just want to know your veiws on my situation. Right my partner works in a pub at night everytime she goes to work she has this one bloke who wont leave her alone always saying how nice her arse is and that he will get her he has even seen a ...
A. 3 August 2017: Is your GF a total idiot?
Sorry, if that is too blunt but who in their RIGHT mind gives someone their bank card and pin number?
I agree with BimBim CANCEL the card. ASAP.
She is "friendly" with this guy because it SUITS her. SHE gets some... (read in full...)
Can you hurt yourself using a dildo with no lube?
Q. Can you hurt yourself by using a dildo without Lube and going way too hard at yourself? I believe I may have rip something in my vagina from using a rubber dildo without the lube, I was going pretty hard for a couple days like that, once a day until ...
A. 3 August 2017: Any time bleeding occurs that isn't your regular PERIOD go see your doctor.
Yes, you can hurt the tissue of the vagina being too rough.
So go see your doctor/Gyno. Make sure you also test for pregnancy if that is a possibility.
And then you... (read in full...)
Why has this man reappeared saying he's sorry things didn't work out
Q. I met a guy online a few months back. We got on well, there was chemistry and he only lived a 5 minute drive from me. Right from the start even though his profile said he was looking for a relationship I knew he was only after the physical side. ...
A. 3 August 2017: Oh, he just wants you to NOT move on and maybe be available to casual sex.
I don't think he is trying to rub your nose in the fact that he is back online. He wanted to remind you that he is around. NOT for a relationship but for sex. THAT is why h... (read in full...)
Does she want to get back with me? Why does she say "I understand"
Q. Hi my girlfriend and i split up 3 and a half months ago i have been trying, to get her back , via mutual friend she met another man 1 month after we split. she Might be in rebound relationship. she has told me via friend to move on several times, ...
A. 3 August 2017: NO, she is OVER and DONE with you. ACCEPT it.
She is tired of the mutual friend keep bringing you up but instead of telling this friend:" enough I don't want to hear stuff about X" she just said, I understand.
IF she was interested in re... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lies and has no words to explain his actions
Q. Questioning keeping my relationship or leaving it? We've been together for 2 years and my bf tells little lies here and there and when I talk to him about any issues, he has no words to explain his actions. We've talked about it a few times. I ...
A. 3 August 2017: I agree with WiseOwlE
He has to explain his lying like he is a little kid? to you? Seriously?
He lies because it's a habit and because he probably gets away with it most of the time. It has benefitted him in the past. My guess is for HIM the t... (read in full...)
Reconsidering a job offer after this farce
Q. I have recently accepted a 6 month position at a big company. It is quite far away from home (2 and a half hours away), and very kindly the company have offered to put me up in accommodation that they own, for free so i wouldn't have to pay bills ...
A. 3 August 2017: Shit happens OP,
You haven't even worked a day there so you really don't know if someone dropped the ball on this or if the company OVERALL is a messy situation.
Make sure they KNOW not to pick you up (if you don't need it) make sure you ha... (read in full...)
How to handle situation with my ex husband/children
Q. My ex husband and I have been divorced for over 8 years. We have two children one teenager and one pre-teen who I have been taking careof full time since the divorced. I've provided an excellent living condition for both children, living in a new ...
A. 3 August 2017: Do you have a home?
If so, wouldn't it be easier for him to stay there while you are gone? OR HIRE someone to be there while you are gone? Don't you have another family members that can stay?
I get that a teenage girl should share a bed with... (read in full...)
Do men ever regret dumping a good woman?
Q. Want to ask the other women on this site,I treated my ex great I thought, I did every thing to try to make him happy,its been over a year now, do you think he ever thinks of me. Do men ever regret dumping a good woman, oh he ghost me, never got a ...
A. 2 August 2017: Do I think HE thinks of you?
Maybe, but not in the way you would like him too. As in, I don't think he looks back and remembers this awesome woman he just dumped out of the blue. He might look back and feel a little bad for stringing you along or... (read in full...)
Is this guy online serious?
Q. I've been talking to this guy for a good 6 months now. We met through Snapchat. He has been the one initiating conversation majority of the time and he has admitted to liking me and caring about me. He said he wants to get to know me a bit more on a ...
A. 2 August 2017: Why not suggest a Skype/Facetime "hang out"? That way you two can SEE each other and hear each other.
I would NOT go meet someone who can't even pick up the phone. How awkward would it then be in person?
If he after 6 months can't talk to yo... (read in full...)
Did I prove a point in this office situation?
Q. I've heard that women hate it when men don't look at them or pay them any attention, and liking the guy or being in a relationship already is irrelevant. I had an attractive young woman always looking at me in the office a work. I deliberately...
A. 2 August 2017: I'm with N91,
You are at work, not the local watering hole.
Just be professional and polite. If she wants to ignore you, let her.
And if things feel a little awkward consider how AWKWARD it would have been if you had started something with h... (read in full...)
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