It was going great and now she has stopped responding ... I guess its over!
Q. Hello everyone! A few months ago I started exchanging Facebook messages with a girl I knew in high school about ten years ago. I'm 30 and she's 29. Things went really well and she agreed to meet up as soon as we could (she was moving back to h...
A. 1 November 2017: Eh, OP it's ONE girl.
You will meet more and probably have great luck sooner or later. Don't let one "rotten" apple spoil the barrel.
Chin up!
And thanks for the update!
... (read in full...)
My boyfriend revealed a secret and my question is how do I deal with what he told me?
Q. My new boyfriend of almost 5 month has been suffering from ptsd i knew this when we first got together , he decided to be open tonight and told me a shocking secret he had kept from me , he admitted he sometimes smokes weed to help him relax and ...
A. 24 October 2017: I agree OP, weed affects people differently. Because our brains and genetic are different (if only slightly) from each other.
Of course these days the amount of THC is different in CONTROLLED grown pot/weed than homegrown from question... (read in full...)
My boyfriend revealed a secret and my question is how do I deal with what he told me?
Q. My new boyfriend of almost 5 month has been suffering from ptsd i knew this when we first got together , he decided to be open tonight and told me a shocking secret he had kept from me , he admitted he sometimes smokes weed to help him relax and ...
A. 21 October 2017: OP, I see nothing wrong in your stance on drugs.
If drugs (and weed is included in this according to the laws of the land) is something you want nothing to do with then I suggest HE might not BE someone for you.
I absolutely GET that pot/wee... (read in full...)
My boyfriend revealed a secret and my question is how do I deal with what he told me?
Q. My new boyfriend of almost 5 month has been suffering from ptsd i knew this when we first got together , he decided to be open tonight and told me a shocking secret he had kept from me , he admitted he sometimes smokes weed to help him relax and ...
A. 20 October 2017: To add a little food for thought, here is an article about weed and PTSD.
http://bigthink.com/christina-brown-fisher/medical-marijuana-supporters-advocate-for-better-access-to-treat-ptsd-in-veterans
While I myself is not a fan of weed/pot and ... (read in full...)
She takes more than she gives and I know part of the problem is her low self-esteem!
Q. Hi, when I told my girlfriend that I love her she replied, for the first time, that she does as well, although she doesn't know if it's really love. She justified this with saying that she discussed the matter with her mom and when her mother asked ...
A. 20 October 2017: Honestly?
It sounds a little to me like she is using her low self-esteem and insecurities to manipulate you. I know that sounds a little harsh but from reading your post that is what pops out of the page for me. She wants you to not question... (read in full...)
My boyfriend revealed a secret and my question is how do I deal with what he told me?
Q. My new boyfriend of almost 5 month has been suffering from ptsd i knew this when we first got together , he decided to be open tonight and told me a shocking secret he had kept from me , he admitted he sometimes smokes weed to help him relax and ...
A. 20 October 2017: For people with war-time PTSD to look to drink or drugs is not uncommon. Many feel it's an easier way to numb how they feel, it's self-medication rather than having to deal with doctors and therapists - AND... the stigma of having mental issues. I ... (read in full...)
Family squabble upsetting my new relationship
Q. My boy friend and I r relatively a new couple. He lives with his twin brother and a friend. I was staying in their place for the first time and just to clarify. Before that night me and his brother were getting along real well that I would call him ...
A. 19 October 2017: Don't spend the night there until all is sorted out. TELL your BF that.
As for the brother wanting you to clean the kitchen because you stayed 3 night... um, why the kitchen? Because you are a female? Or because it was dirty and SOMEONE should c... (read in full...)
Being used by my boyfriend and I don't know how to get rid of him
Q. I will try to make it short as possible, I am 35 years old gay and I dated a guy few months ago, specifically in May and I really liked him, everything was great , although he is way younger than me 24 years old, but I felt that he loves me, he ...
A. 19 October 2017: Yes, KICK him out.
Why didn't it work before? Because HE didn't WANT to leave? If so (check the LAWS for evicting a room-mate in your country) and follow them. If there are no set laws for this - if he isn't on the LEASE etc. CHANGE the locks wh... (read in full...)
Is this a ploy to make me jealous?
Q. This guy and I decided to be friend with benefits before uni' but when we got to uni, it was quite different. The guy is in his late 20s and we go to each other's place to sleep over but we simply end up cuddling and kissing. We got into an argu...
A. 19 October 2017: I think he is trying to have the upper hand. He wants to be the one in "charge" of whatever is going on.
Wish him and the new girl well and CUT the contact. You had a fuck-buddy at best (even with the cuddling that is really ALL he saw you as).... (read in full...)
How do I lay my cards on the table? He wants to go into the Navy but I think he's missing a good thing in us!
Q. Hi. I'm sorry for the long email - but I feel like I need to get loads of details into this to give afull picture. Here's my story: I'm a 25-year-old woman who struggles to meet guys that I'm attracted to and have a really great connection with....
A. 19 October 2017: While it's tough, you are going to have to let him go.
He is going to try out for the Royal Navy and whether YOU! want to keep seeing him until he gets in or not, that is not what HE wants. He thinks it's better to end it now so there is "less" h... (read in full...)
Was I out of line and is my boyfriend right in not trusting me?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for about 5 years now. A few months ago I met a guy at work who I messaged after I left the job. He was quite flirty with me in this conversation but I didn't think it meant anything. About a month later he messaged...
A. 19 October 2017: I mean in ALL honesty, OP?
How can you not have known that this wasn't really OK to do? If the guy hadn't been flirty but wanted to talk business or talk as a FRIEND - then you could have suggested meeting up maybe even bring your BF with you so h... (read in full...)
My guy friend denies being in a relationship and lied about becoming a father
Q. Hi everyone, so this situation is going to sound kind of crazy. There's this guy who I've been friends with for about 2 years. At this point, we spend a lot of time together, keep in contact on a daily basis, and share a lot of personal information ...
A. 18 October 2017: You are not a part of that piece of his life. If you really WERE his REALLY good friend he would have made sure you got to know his GF so SHE also knew who you were and that you are JUST a friend.
Seems like he is compartmentalizing his life. Yo... (read in full...)
This woman is getting close on the train!
Q. I catch the busy train to work in Tokyo everyday and there is this cute younger lady who gets on along the way. I am usually standing near the door anyway but somehow she seems to find her way in front of me so we are hugged and crushed together. We ...
A. 18 October 2017: If you were the one with your hands all over a strange woman on the train people would call you a creep. And just because it's a woman, doesn't make it any less creepy.
I mean, would you think it was ever OK to grope someone on the train?
... (read in full...)
Is masturbation gay?
Q. If you are not thinking of anything and just masturbating for pleasure is this homosexual?...
A. 18 October 2017: Nope.
... (read in full...)
Do mixed signals just mean he's not interested?
Q. There's a guy in my graduate program who is very handsome. I knew him previously from a class during undergrad as well. He is also a gentleman and very kind to everyone he comes by. He's naturally friendly, social, and sweet. He says and does things ...
A. 18 October 2017: I think he likes you as a person, A LOT. But I don't think he sees you as a romantic option. If a guy says you remind him of his mother... it (at least for me) is an indicator that they are not SEXUALLY attracted to you but (if they had/have a great ... (read in full...)
How can I gauge how much he loves me?
Q. Guys help please.. What does it mean when he says he thinks of me sometimes all day? I am trying to figure out how he feels i guess... I know i am in love with him pretty much and i think of him everyday all day see.... Now that would mean that well ...
A. 17 October 2017: I say, hold off on trying for a relationship until YOU feel you are worthy of love. Others can tell you that you are, but unless you FEEL you are it's not going to work.
Which means keep working on your issues and keep romance and sex out of the p... (read in full...)
I think he likes another girl but I don't know how to broach the topic
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months but it's not exactly official, his family don't know and only a couple of our close friends know, it's like a need to know basis. Recently he went on holiday back to his home town with a mutu...
A. 17 October 2017: I think the sooner you bring it up, the sooner you will know where you stand.
Is it possible that they are just so chummy because they have known each other forever and she is the sister's BFF? Sure. But IF they ARE that good friends, wouldn't... (read in full...)
My boyfriend used to be a nerd but now acts like a 'Gangsta'
Q. He's a middle class white boy whose parents pay for everything including his Mini but he keeps acting like he wants to be the "gangster hood" stereotype and idk it really annoys me for some reason. My parents are also middle class but I was raised ...
A. 17 October 2017: He is trying to find his own identity. After having been various characters online and as cosplay, he is now older and needs to figure out WHO he is.
Have you talked to him about it? That you don't like this "wannabe gangster" persona he is being... (read in full...)
My ex hasn't told me his wife is filing for divorce
Q. I've been seeing ex for some time. Yes, I know it's wrong it's a long story. anyway, his now wife is filing for divorce but he hasn't told me. heard from mutual friend. why would he not mention this?...
A. 17 October 2017: I agree with Janniepeg,
He is looking out for himself here. IF he was looking to make something out of the sex he has with you (aka a relationship) HE would have been the one filing for divorce, before jumping into your bed.
If he is cheating o... (read in full...)
How can I gauge how much he loves me?
Q. Guys help please.. What does it mean when he says he thinks of me sometimes all day? I am trying to figure out how he feels i guess... I know i am in love with him pretty much and i think of him everyday all day see.... Now that would mean that well ...
A. 17 October 2017: Are you getting qualified help to work through this?
As much as a friend or loved one can help another person through things, maybe you also need to consider getting professional help?
... (read in full...)
Can't seem to say no to sex anymore and actually mean it. What should I do?
Q. Can't seem to say no to sex anymore and actually mean it. What should I do? Hi I'm 18 and I've had sex with two guys, including the one I lost my virginity to. He was a friend and still is, but he occasionally flirts and I respond to it. We hung o...
A. 17 October 2017: Start by keeping "hangouts" to public places. That is number 1. Number two is learning to say no, thanks.
I think right now you have decided that your self-worth is zero. Unfortunately, a girl who does NOT value herself will not be valued highly b... (read in full...)
How can I gauge how much he loves me?
Q. Guys help please.. What does it mean when he says he thinks of me sometimes all day? I am trying to figure out how he feels i guess... I know i am in love with him pretty much and i think of him everyday all day see.... Now that would mean that well ...
A. 16 October 2017: Words are words, just that.
Whether the words uttered are sincere, heartfelt, a deeper meaning etc. is impossible to say. UNLESS the ACTIONS of that person matches the words.
It's easy to say or text something sweet and sentimental beca... (read in full...)
She cheated twice! Will her boyfriend ever accept her or trust her again?
Q. There is this girl dating someone she really love this guy and this guy also love her but she later cheat ,she went to have sex with her ex but she no longer love her ex and her current boyfriend found about it he was mad according to him he said ...
A. 16 October 2017: The girl should try and be single a while. To figure out what her standards, morals, and values are.
The BF will not EVER trust her the same again. And that is 100% her doing. SHE chose to cheat. And with a guy, she really didn't care THAT muc... (read in full...)
Is it a good sign that he told her?
Q. Hi aunts and uncles. I wanted to know what your opinion was on this. My new boyfriend of a month has a huge circle of friends and he's pretty well loved by people as the "nice" guy/good guy. Yesterday he told me he spoke to this girl and told her...
A. 16 October 2017: I think it's a good sign, honestly.
While she would have heard through the grapevine real fast, he probably felt he was the right thing to do, and I agree. She might have liked him but so far (from the little you saw) it seems like she is OK with ... (read in full...)
Family problem has just got worse
Q. Hi, I posted previously about a fall out I had with my sister due to her not being able to take responsibility for a flat she shares with me and also that I didn't want her drug addict boyfriend round. Anyway she has taken it to extremes and I ...
A. 16 October 2017: I think you handled it just fine, OP
It wasn't a good situation and your sister didn't CARE how it affected you. Neither does her BF.
As for your family? Well, they are still your family but right now they are siding with her and THAT you can... (read in full...)
My ex, who has a new girlfriend, has just contaced me out of the blue
Q. My ex and I split up a year ago and the other day he contacted me out of the blue to say he was sorry about how things ended between us. He wants to meet up next month so I said ok. He has been talking to me very strange though, he has said that...
A. 15 October 2017: Yep, I'm with Ciar
Don't meet up and cut the contact. This is going nowhere. If he has a GF and trying to meet up with you behind her back then he is up to no good.
He will try and butter you up so you will have sex with him or spend time rubbi... (read in full...)
My friend was in town and didn't tell me
Q. A few months after a bad breakup, I reached out to my high school prom date who I'd always had a crush on. I suspected it may be mutual. We began talking and flirting regularly. He visited me once and I visited him once, as we live several hou...
A. 15 October 2017: Eh, you made a mistake lying to yourself (mostly) and him as well, pretending you were OH so cool with "just" hanging out and what may come...
In the future, IF you are looking for a relationship, don't lie to yourself and don't IGNORE what the... (read in full...)
My brother's wedding showed me how regretable mine was
Q. Jealous of Sister In Laws Family Hi community. I just attended my brothers wedding and it was amazing! Such a great day with lovely speeches and an amazing vibe. I got married two months ago and looking at both I'm so jealous of my sister in l...
A. 14 October 2017: You know, OP I have been to a LOT of weddings. Most of them WAY more costly than my own but looking back, I think my own wedding was fitting for US (my husband and myself) and I am SO glad that there wasn't a lot of money spend on that ONE day. Was ... (read in full...)
We exchanged numbers but now I'm turned off by him
Q. I haven't been out in the dating world for a long time. Recently I have been chatting here and there with a guy doing construction at my place of work, seemed like a nice guy, cute, I felt comfortable talking with him. So he asked me for my phone...
A. 14 October 2017: Block his number. (f you can)
My guess is he thought you might have given him your number so you two could have a "good time". I don't think he was looking for a long-term partner and IF he was... well, he is going about it in a sleazy way.
... (read in full...)
I need people's approval before I make changes in my life
Q. I need help. I guess that's pretty obvious. I just wanted to preface this by saying thank you if you just hear me out and listen. I've always had low self esteem and lacked confidence and it's always pushed people away, even though I didn't ...
A. 14 October 2017: OP, You do realize that moving won't change anything but the scenery? Right?
You will still deal with low self-esteem, the OCD, the need for validation, etc, etc. That you can't leave behind. It will follow you until you DEAL with the issues. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend brings up his ex girlfriend
Q. I went to a high school reunion this past summer. While there, I met a man who I really didn't talk to much in high school. We kind of hit it off, and for the past 2 months, we have been dating and getting to know each other. My question is abou...
A. 14 October 2017: I do think it is a red flag.
He has spent the last 35 (ish) years wondering what became of her and felt bad for that long that he was an asshole to her. 1. I don't buy it. 2. It's ridiculous.
How hard would it have been ANY time in the last... (read in full...)
He has kept in touch, but I thought he only wanted sex.
Q. Hi there! So i went on a date a few months ago with a lovely giy who i knew from primary school who just happens to now have his own tv series. We went out for a drink, had a lovely time. Then the next week he drove 3 hours to see his father (...
A. 13 October 2017: It's not like sending a text every couple of weeks is an indicator of anything.
He might be one of those people who are GOOD at keeping in touch with people he likes to keep around. Someone to chat to here and there, a familiar face.
It migh... (read in full...)
How to tell him I don't want children?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for two and a half years, he is 32 and I am 24. We are moving in together in a few months (into his house), but I am worried about out future- I don't want to have children. I have several reasons for the fact...
A. 13 October 2017: Tell him straight out.
Before I move in with you how do you feel about the issue of kids? Because I, myself don't want any and I don't see that changing down the line. I don't want start down a path we both do not follow. Your own words of cours... (read in full...)
How do I handle this meeting with him after the news that he's trying to reconcile with his ex in Italy!
Q. I met an Italian guy recently. We talked on-line for a few weeks. Then he was in Italy for a month. We met when he came back. I was a little suspicious as to why such a long holiday in Italy as he has no children or parents. We met for the...
A. 13 October 2017: Just cut off the contact.
He wants to "talk" face to face because he wants to keep his options open, in CASE the ex-GF doesn't work out. And to have a woman to sleep with when he is in YOUR country.
You don't need to TALK about this in person. ... (read in full...)
I'm struggling with wanting more attention from him through texts!
Q. So I have posted about this previously, but I’m starting to get that feeling of neglect again. I feel terrible as I know my bf is working very hard and I hate asking him for more attention. The situation hit a breaking point a couple weeks ago, he ...
A. 13 October 2017: OP, a number of texts in a day don't EQUATE to how much he cares.
During the week my husband and I rarely text each other. Unless there is an ACTUAL need for it (getting attention is NOT a need - it's a want) - with need I mean him texting ... (read in full...)
Do any girls here go to bars alone?
Q. I have been on my own for a long time now. It has been bothering me for a while but it has only become a problem recently. I don't have particularly great coping skills and the feelings of loneliness have become overwhelming. I really need to make ...
A. 12 October 2017: If I were you I'd look into clubs at your college that you could be interested in joining and meeting people that way. The coffee shop is hard because a LOT of people go there to be "left" alone over a cup of coffee which makes people less inclined ... (read in full...)
It was going great and now she has stopped responding ... I guess its over!
Q. Hello everyone! A few months ago I started exchanging Facebook messages with a girl I knew in high school about ten years ago. I'm 30 and she's 29. Things went really well and she agreed to meet up as soon as we could (she was moving back to h...
A. 12 October 2017: Oh, she got the messages.
And maybe that BF of hers saw it too. So the whole:"Oh he is just an old school friend" doesn't work as well as an excuse when said "friend" posts... "We look great!:)"
Honestly, if I were you I'd stop trying with this... (read in full...)
Its bothering me that my g/f shows more interest in my friend than me
Q. Something is really bugging me. My gf has been really stressed over last few days over little things and it can lead to argument. This isn’t serious because we both know it’s no ones fault. For example if we are going out she is throwing clothes, ...
A. 11 October 2017: OP, working on self-improvement is GOOD. Doesn't make you weaker or more like a doormat.
Being kinder and nicer doesn't mean you can set boundaries or that you should let people walk all over you.
One of the KINDEST people I know is a friend... (read in full...)
We are getting married soon and I'm tired of family living with us
Q. Hello, I've been with this man for almost 6 years we have a solid ground relationship as to knowing to take care of the important things like bills and kids. He proposed to be in 2016 and we haven't actually started planning our wedding together, ...
A. 11 October 2017: You really NEED to have this sorted out. Because you can't start a marriage with such a big gap in what you both feel is right.
YOUR home should be the "sanctuary" for your family. The husband and kids. Not a place for the rest of the family t... (read in full...)
My ex cheated on me, it took me 2 years to get over him and now he wants to try again
Q. At what point can you be sure you have forgiven someone for hurting you, and take them back? 3 years ago my then boyfriend of nearly 2 years left me for someone else. It took me a long time to get over it, but I did. I never really forgot he...
A. 11 October 2017: I think if it took him 2 YEARS to actually apologize for his actions, he isn't apologizing because he knows he did a crappy thing to you. He is apologizing to make himself more "datable" or "palatable" in your eyes.
" Awww, he apologized he must ... (read in full...)
Am I falling for the wrong guy?
Q. I liked my brother's friend for 1 year.I never seen him or talk to him before.But I developed feelings for him when my brother tell about him.I started to talk to him a few days ago without telling my brother.I told him that I like him.He said he ...
A. 11 October 2017: Yep, you are falling for the wrong guy. And you are mistaken LOVe for infatuation and fantasy.
The guy you "fell in love with" is the guy your brother told you about. NOT the entire person. Your brother probably makes his friend sound better t... (read in full...)
What if she's not willing to compromise?
Q. I've been dating a girl for 2 months now and we are official, she's 34, and I'm 36. She has 2 young children that I've not met yet- I will be soon. Things seem really good but I have abit of a concern, please could you guys give your advice and your ...
A. 11 October 2017: This is why dating is a good thing. You get a sense of the other person and to SEE if they ARE a good fit.
If she is the kind of person who can't compromise then you have to consider if that is something you want in a partner or not.
For som... (read in full...)
We are getting married soon and I'm tired of family living with us
Q. Hello, I've been with this man for almost 6 years we have a solid ground relationship as to knowing to take care of the important things like bills and kids. He proposed to be in 2016 and we haven't actually started planning our wedding together, ...
A. 11 October 2017: You need to talk to your partner about this. He might feel it's totally natural to have family living with you and think this is GREAT! But he might also FEEL like you. You won't know till you talk.
I think this NEEDS to be sorted BEFORE you tie ... (read in full...)
I overshared family information about my heritage with a professor and am now feeling very anxious
Q. I overshared information a week ago with my university tutor and have had severe anxiety since! I was showing my tutor some of my work for the class which included a reference to Aboriginal Australians. I then blurted out that my father is ...
A. 11 October 2017: Given the history and the treatment of Aboriginals in Australia, I don't blame you for feeling ambiguous. Your father didn't tell you for a reason as well. Probably to make like "easier" for you as a kid.
However, WHO you are, have roots in your ... (read in full...)
Its bothering me that my g/f shows more interest in my friend than me
Q. Something is really bugging me. My gf has been really stressed over last few days over little things and it can lead to argument. This isn’t serious because we both know it’s no ones fault. For example if we are going out she is throwing clothes, ...
A. 10 October 2017: OP, it's not about you "manning up". It's about you realizing that you might have become a tad needy and clingy because you feel INSECURE in your relationship with her. And she... has partly made you feel that way.
You need to get back to you. The... (read in full...)
Its bothering me that my g/f shows more interest in my friend than me
Q. Something is really bugging me. My gf has been really stressed over last few days over little things and it can lead to argument. This isn’t serious because we both know it’s no ones fault. For example if we are going out she is throwing clothes, ...
A. 8 October 2017: First off, don't treat her like your mother. PICK out what YOU want to wear. Don't ask her to pick... it's... emasculating IMHO.
That way you can avoid the feeling like she doesn't give a flying fart next time you go out.
And when SHE is gett... (read in full...)
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