| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Why did I cheat on my boyfriend when everything is so perfect? What is wrong with me?
Q. First of all let me start by saying that I already am aware of what I have done, I am not looking for comfort or criticism - what I have come here for is help or insight into my behaviour. I cheated on my boyfriend, I met someone through work las...
A. 31 May 2010: Well, I think it is easier to tell you how to prevent this from happening, than it is to tell you why you did it. And thank you for not flaming me, I realize my advice could be a bit harsh.
Everyone of us has an ugly duckling inside. Even me.... (read in full...)
Is it ok to fool around with a guy when you are not using any contraception?
Q. Is i ok to fool around with a guy when you are currently not an form of contraception. I know sex is a definite no no....
A. 31 May 2010: Fooling around with clothes on is fine without contraceptives. Being naked you have to be sure his penis is no where near your vagina, and it should be fine too. Just to be safe, always have one partner with underwear on. And if you want to be ... (read in full...)
Are guys ever attracted to girls with short hair?
Q. This is a very vain question, I'd like to know what guys think of girls with short hair... I've had short hair for a while now and I suit it, but just because I can't pull off long hair, but are guys ever attracted to girls with short hair?? I...
A. 31 May 2010: I think what anon said about different hairs (the YES and NO ones) is that there are different styles of short hair! So if one doesn't suit you, or you feel less attractive, try another. Also, judge your facial shape and the shape of your head. If ... (read in full...)
Why did I cheat on my boyfriend when everything is so perfect? What is wrong with me?
Q. First of all let me start by saying that I already am aware of what I have done, I am not looking for comfort or criticism - what I have come here for is help or insight into my behaviour. I cheated on my boyfriend, I met someone through work las...
A. 31 May 2010: Alright, I think the reason is simple. You lack self control. Knowing psychology wont help you, get control over yourself is what you need. You blew it with your boyfriend, tell him what happened and let him go.
Try to think less about yourself... (read in full...)
Hanging by a thread!
Q. well me and my girlfriend had a steady long distance relationship for the past 3 years. she was always caring and loved me a lot. we had loadz of good times all along.i would go and meet her up during holidays n stuffs she was a very studious an...
A. 31 May 2010: You have to ask her why she is confused.... (read in full...)
Should I break-up?
Q. I dont know whether to stay with my boyfriend or not. he is really sweet when i see him in person. he has a good sense of humour , and he told me that he would wait unti l iwas ready for sex. We are both virgins, but he sems to be more confident ...
A. 31 May 2010: Do you continue to hurt him back? Because as laetitia said, if you are disrespectful to him in return then you are even. That would explain why he continues to call you names. In either case you could work on how you solve conflicts and how you ... (read in full...)
Can't get my boyfriend to cum on my own?
Q. I'll give him a blowjob.. handjob and he'll be like making noises and shaking, and he's all wet.. and you can tell it's genuine and he says he loves it + that i'm the best he's ever had but then he goes 'omg i could cum now' so then he takes hi...
A. 31 May 2010: He likes to do it himself for some reason. Ask him. I see this as him just being a gentleman, not expecting you to take his load in your mouth or get all greasy over your clothes. The load can on occasion shoot pretty far, and he probably doesn't ... (read in full...)
Are his flirty actions serious or not?
Q. There is a married man I know who has been giving me a lot of 'come hither' signals for a few months. He touches me whenever he can, my hand, arm, back, etc. He stares intently and sometimes locks eyes with me and it seems when he does, that...
A. 31 May 2010: Touches, ough... that can be a good signal he wants more.
Use your brains, if you think he is coming on to you he probably is. So just let him know you are off limits and let him find another woman to cheat with.
PS. good thing you don't ... (read in full...)
Wife having affairs with my consent, is this wrong?
Q. Why do l get turned on by other men sleeping with my wife? It is now a regular thing for her to have 2 or 3 men who she is seeing . She loves me and we have been married 22 yrs , but wants to have her lovers and me . Is that Wrong ?...
A. 31 May 2010: Sounds like your wife need more loving from YOU in order to stay. She doesnt want to go elsewhere to get it, she needs it from you. She feels unloved. If that is so, the answer is not to get her a new lover, but to bring back the man she married, ... (read in full...)
Hanging by a thread!
Q. well me and my girlfriend had a steady long distance relationship for the past 3 years. she was always caring and loved me a lot. we had loadz of good times all along.i would go and meet her up during holidays n stuffs she was a very studious an...
A. 31 May 2010: I dont understand what your education has to do with her not wanting to be with you? She said she didn't trust you, why is that? And why will her parents not approve of your relationship? If the parents did not approve, why did she stay with you for ... (read in full...)
Should I break-up?
Q. I dont know whether to stay with my boyfriend or not. he is really sweet when i see him in person. he has a good sense of humour , and he told me that he would wait unti l iwas ready for sex. We are both virgins, but he sems to be more confident ...
A. 30 May 2010: At one point the bad outweighs the good. If you are there yet or not I am not sure. I am guessing you are still very angry with him while you wrote this, because you have no gentle words to say about him, aside from him being sweet at times.
... (read in full...)
I read I still could get pregnant...is this true?
Q. My boyfriend and I were messing around. He picked me up from dance class so I was wearing stockings, leotard and then my underwear with a pad (expecting my period). So we were making out and all he did was take his pants off (keeping the underwear ...
A. 30 May 2010: No chance at all. Yes you can get pregnant without breaking the hymen, without the PENIS entering. But what does need to enter is sperm! And sperm does not swim through clothes, layers of clothes, plastic and pads. No way. They are good swimmers I ... (read in full...)
Help!!! Are these rumours true???
Q. On Friday night I was out celebrating with friends as we've just left college. I'm a lightweight compared to them as I don't drink often, and had close to nothing to eat that day. Now I can't remember much from the night, but stories have got back...
A. 30 May 2010: Take the morning after pill just in case! And unless you had passed out, this can be difficult to prove as rape, especially when it is only based on rumors. If you had sex, why would other people have seen you? I just wonder, this sounds odd. But ... (read in full...)
His changing his pictures upset me, should I mention it to him?
Q. i am on a online dating site.. i was getting tired of it.. i met this one person on there from it and we have been talking every day.. we have gone out 4 times.. we haven't gotten too physical yet and i am still deciding if i like him. Seems like ...
A. 30 May 2010: Do you really think he took pictures of himself just for you? Its a dating site. And you were on 4 dates. Hardly what you'd deem a relationship, and you don't seem too into him for that matter either. So whats the big deal? Even if he did take those ... (read in full...)
Wife having affairs with my consent, is this wrong?
Q. Why do l get turned on by other men sleeping with my wife? It is now a regular thing for her to have 2 or 3 men who she is seeing . She loves me and we have been married 22 yrs , but wants to have her lovers and me . Is that Wrong ?...
A. 30 May 2010: If it floats your boat then its all good.... (read in full...)
Is there ever really a good time to have a baby?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years now. He has a son from a previous relationship. We have mentioned children in passing on many occasions and both agree we want them, however we have never made any solid plans. We did sort of agree last year ...
A. 30 May 2010: It was hardly the best idea when he had his kid, but he still did. I think that by saying you should stop taking the pill he is open to the idea that you have a child together. If you want one.. no there is hardly ever a perfect time. And then what ... (read in full...)
Emotional affair with someone in a loveless marriage... found out he has kids. what should I do?
Q. Hey everyone! I'm in a bit of a dilemma and was hoping you guys could help... Recently i met a guy (lets call him Joe)on a chatroom where people just go for conversation, anyway he and I hit it off straight away. He lives down south and i live up ...
A. 30 May 2010: Drop him! You are the only one who doesnt want to take it further, but he has already convinced you to exchange phone numbers and wants to meet you in person. You dont want him and his wife to split up, well he surely doesnt care what damage he ... (read in full...)
Does a married man flrting mean he wants a fling?
Q. I know I'm going to get in trouble for writing this, but do married men that flirt want to have a fling with you? A married man has been flirting with me for a few months, and I wondered if he ever thought about taking it to the next level. I'm not ...
A. 30 May 2010: A harmless flirt is ok. But if he's been keeping it up for several months I am afraid he has passed the point of "harmless". This man is pursuing you, and as long as you are fine with it, he will continue to get closer. So stop flirting back, you ... (read in full...)
How can I stop feeling so bored with my life?
Q. I recently finished my degree after 5 years of education. I put a lot of effort into my education rather than the social side and didn't really make a lot of friends, I also continued to work. During my degree I have had a lot go on emotionally, and ...
A. 30 May 2010: Do something crazy. If you can't afford something crazy, do some volunteering. Plenty of places need people who have spare time, and spare time is ALL you need to join. Organizations, political parties, activists of any sort, churches, youth ... (read in full...)
Is he commenting on other women to get a reaction out of me?
Q. tonight me and my boyfriend were watching a tv show and tara reid the actress was on it, he started commenting about how hot she used to be before her breast implants etc..then later during the show he mumbled, "tara reid is hot" and i said huh? ...
A. 30 May 2010: Its not typical of guys to plot out semi-evil plans to try and trick girls, and no one would be able to know how you would react to any comment. If you reacted in a certain way I am quite sure he was unaware. He just said what he said for no reason ... (read in full...)
Are guys ever attracted to girls with short hair?
Q. This is a very vain question, I'd like to know what guys think of girls with short hair... I've had short hair for a while now and I suit it, but just because I can't pull off long hair, but are guys ever attracted to girls with short hair?? I...
A. 30 May 2010: I know many women who are drop dead gorgeous with short hair, and when I had short hair myself I did not have a problem attracting guys. This is a very typical question with a typical answer: people like different things. You will find someone who ... (read in full...)
Family making things difficult for me!
Q. Hi guys I have been with my boyfriend for around 6 years now we have split up once or twice in that time, the last time was now about a year ago and only lasted for about 2 months, since then we have been absolutely fine, and are living together...
A. 30 May 2010: They have to sort this out between themselves. You cant force your grandparents to accept or like your boyfriend again. And even if YOU find him to be good enough, he simply isnt good enough for them. And no matter how you feel, their mind is set ... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant after coming into contact with his sperm after he left?
Q. Could I be pregnant if I made out with my boyfriend and later, after he`s gone home I might accidentally put a little sperm close to my vagina while I was sort of fingering myself?...
A. 29 May 2010: This is very unspecific. You sort of fingered yourself? Either you did or you didn't. And you accidentally "put" sperm close to your vagina? Or did you on purpose take sperm on your finger and put it inside of yourself trying to get pregnant? If you ... (read in full...)
Wife wants kids, I don't think I do anymore
Q. When I got married, my wife and I talked about having kids some day. Now I'm not sure that I want to have kids... I'm starting to feel pretty sure I don't. This is the most important question I've ever had to answer, because kids are the most imp...
A. 29 May 2010: You are young, perhaps you just need more time to think this through. And more time to settle down and be ready for a child. You might feel you dont want a child now because she wants one NOW and right now you are not ready? Are you feeling ... (read in full...)
His 'other woman' is a playstation!
Q. Hello never thought id go to a website for help...... Well here it goes Ive been married for 5 years, my marriage was going great. Till my husband bought a play-station 3 he is in denial of his lack of interest in our relationship. I ...
A. 29 May 2010: Tell it to his face. You have an issue in your marriage, and he needs to step up to his responsibilities: he needs to be with you and FIX it! Lay it out to him: his addiction is hurting the relationship. He can continue to destroy the marriage, or ... (read in full...)
Should I have another child?
Q. I'm 19 and I have an eleven month old son. Recently one of my friends had a baby girl and she is beautiful. She also has a son who is 12 months. Through her whole pregnancy we talked about her weird cravings and where the baby kicked the most. To ...
A. 29 May 2010: Well, I dont think your age is an issue in this, or your finances. As long as you make a well-informed decision, you have just as much right to do as you please as everyone else. Not having a man in your life presents an extra challenge (needing to ... (read in full...)
Help!!! How do you continue a romantic relationship with someone who is your blood relative?
Q. I just recently found out that my boyfriend of 1 year is my half-brother. Apparantly my father "got around" a lot more than I had thought. My bf and I have talked many times about our family and what attracted me to him was how much we have in ...
A. 29 May 2010: There are countries in the world where it is legal to marry your half-sibling. So it is possible. But is the relationship worth it? It will be a rough and difficult path, and far more socially acceptable if you find a new boyfriend. You will have to ... (read in full...)
How do I confront him when I'm guilty of having snooped?
Q. Ok so basically I did the wrong thing and snooped and looked at my boyfriend of just over a years emails. I had a feeling back in January there was something to worry about when he was constantly getting messages late at night and we had one problem ...
A. 29 May 2010: He will bust you out on it if you try the emailing yourself approach. If you want to confront him you have to think up a better plan than that, but in the end the truth will always come out. This speaks of untrust in your relationship. What he did ... (read in full...)
Just wondering what an orgasm looks like and feels like?
Q. Ok so I'm a bisexual sixteen year old and I've started experimenting with my girlfriend... Who I just love so much, but recently she ate me out for the first time, and it was amazing. I was nervous at first but then relaxed and it was amazing.. I ...
A. 29 May 2010: Woah? Im not sure if you had an orgasm or not.. It's a big "woah" alright, but maybe a little more? Did you feel like you had a small explosion? A tension that built up and then was released into a pleasurable feeling that spread throughout your ... (read in full...)
Don't trust men, but curious to meet my biological father
Q. im 17 and have been living with my mama and stepdad 4 about 13 yearz. he isnt sexually abusive but he is abusive in every other way. i hate him. cant wait till next febuary so i can move out and although he has resentfully provided 4 me financially ...
A. 29 May 2010: If he wanted a relationship with you, why hasn´t your biological father tried to contact you sooner? Were you adopted by your step dad? In that case your step dad isn't really your step dad, and if you weren´t adopted your father is still your ... (read in full...)
Should I be content to be the mistress?
Q. I am having an affair with a married man for 5 months now. He is older than me and has 3 children. I work with him for about an hour twice a day. We knew each other for over a year before anything happened. It started out as a bit of fun but ...
A. 26 May 2010: I don't think he will leave his wife no matter how much you beg him too... So you wanting him to is basically not the issue here. You can want it as much as you please, but it will not happen.
Second, the relationship has gotten serious? Only for... (read in full...)
What does "exclusive" mean?
Q. so i've been seeing this guy for a minute now and i really like him. we act like a couple, he only dates me and me likewise with him. its all good! but when first asked about a month ago, he told me he wasn't ready for a relationship. time has gone ...
A. 26 May 2010: Exlusive basically means an official relationship. But it could be he's running by different definitions, so check with him to be sure. Exclusive means you don't date, kiss or have sex with anyone else. You belong to each other and no one else.... (read in full...)
I'm newly bisexual. I'm sure he likes me back, but he's already with someone...
Q. Hi, I'm a 21 year old male, I've been heterosexual all my life, but just recently I've become bisexual, almost purely because of one of my closest friends, who I've completely fallen in love with. I'm absolutely sure he likes me too (he's also bi)...
A. 26 May 2010: If he's taken, back off. Keep him as a friend, but make no moves. If this guy gets involved with you while he's in a relationship, that means he is willing to cheat. And you don't want to be dating a cheater now, do you?... (read in full...)
Should I explore the dating world while I am young?
Q. Im 20yo and I love my girlfriend very much. We have had many ups and downs. But I think I want to experience more of life while im young, date more girls. Is this wrong? Im trying to tell her how I feel, but she says she is at breaking point, she's ...
A. 26 May 2010: Thank you for clearing that up, to me at least things sound better now. It is still over-shearing with your girlfriend though. A good rule is to never share your thoughts about her/the relationship until you are somewhat determined and have made up ... (read in full...)
Cam sex???
Q. i need some help! i recently met this 18 year old boy on a chat site, im 16, we've been getting on really well and i know he's genuine an not a paedo or anything! but anyway, he suggested that we could start having cam sex, which im up for! im just ...
A. 24 May 2010: Masturbate in front of each other basically. Be very careful, you should know this guy inside out before doing this. Who knows how many friends he will show it to afterwards. You said you RECENTLY met him, and HE suggested cam sex. ... NO!
If yo... (read in full...)
Why do all my relationships end so badly and I keep on getting hurt?
Q. I dont know what to do anymore. I feel lost and hopeless and have for some time. Ive always had terrible luck with relationships, each and every time they have ended on a bad note and just leave me hurting and depressed afterward. The last ...
A. 24 May 2010: Wow.. anon male... "4.) Any guy will sell his "best friend" down the river to sleep with his buddy's girlfriend. Men always test themselves against other men in sports, business and life in general. Stealing away your girlfriend and having sex with ... (read in full...)
4 years younger... Is it OK to date?
Q. Dear Cupid... i really like this guy who is 4 years younger than me. Just now we are in high school. But we both like each other. People are saying its bad for us to start dating but, do you think its ok? or Shall we wait until we have both left?...
A. 24 May 2010: 4 years at your age is too much. People will talk and his parents might possibly deny you seeing him. You wont be allowed to have sex with him for years as well...
As long as everyone is okay with it (and by that I mean his parents, himself ... (read in full...)
Can losing your virginity bring on your periods? And now he has had sex with me could he be going off me?
Q. Hi i lost my virginity and 2 days later i started bleeding i wasn't due on for about another week or so is it normal to bleed a few days later? or can loosing your virginity bring your periods on? also since that night me and my bf haven't spoke a ...
A. 24 May 2010: I've not experienced it myself/heard it from my friends, but a lot of girls come to dearcupid and tell us that they bled for days after loosing their virginity. What it means I don't know. I don't know if it's your period or something else, I just ... (read in full...)
New boyfriend won't let me see old boyfriend and I don't want to lose either!
Q. Hi, Six months ago my boyfriend, "E" of four months had to move to America after his parents divorce. We initially planned to stay together while he was away, but after two months we agreed to split as the situation was so impractical. I was preg...
A. 24 May 2010: You are in a position where you can loose either. J is making you choose because he knows you are meeting up with E to see if you two will get back together! Of course he isn't fine with that. Even if you in the aftermath tell him you are only ... (read in full...)
Should I explore the dating world while I am young?
Q. Im 20yo and I love my girlfriend very much. We have had many ups and downs. But I think I want to experience more of life while im young, date more girls. Is this wrong? Im trying to tell her how I feel, but she says she is at breaking point, she's ...
A. 24 May 2010: You shouldn't be explaining to her how you feel. What do you want from her? To agree that it is best for you to "explore"? You want to see what else is out there. If so, leave her! If not, stay! You have to make up your mind and then tell her how it ... (read in full...)
Why do all my relationships end so badly and I keep on getting hurt?
Q. I dont know what to do anymore. I feel lost and hopeless and have for some time. Ive always had terrible luck with relationships, each and every time they have ended on a bad note and just leave me hurting and depressed afterward. The last ...
A. 24 May 2010: Im in a horrible state to answer, but maybe it helps: I feel the exactly same way. Bad relationship going down the drain at the moment for me and everything just sucks. So I know how you feel.
That was a backstabbing friend of yours that in the e... (read in full...)
I did everything he wanted and he still broke up with me
Q. Okay I started dating this guys five years ago, in the beggining he didnt want a relationship but after we became intimate,and i threatened to walk away if i dint get a title, he said lets be official. In the beggining my weight bothered him. I was ...
A. 24 May 2010: Give it TIME. Time heals everything! I promise, you will be fine, just give it time.... (read in full...)
I did everything he wanted and he still broke up with me
Q. Okay I started dating this guys five years ago, in the beggining he didnt want a relationship but after we became intimate,and i threatened to walk away if i dint get a title, he said lets be official. In the beggining my weight bothered him. I was ...
A. 13 May 2010: This man does NOT love you. Why do you think he asked you if you've lost weight, AFTER YOU BROKE UP?? Its because he wants to know if you look better so he can have sex with you. Because he feels great about himself knowing that if he can't find ... (read in full...)
I did everything he wanted and he still broke up with me
Q. Okay I started dating this guys five years ago, in the beggining he didnt want a relationship but after we became intimate,and i threatened to walk away if i dint get a title, he said lets be official. In the beggining my weight bothered him. I was ...
A. 11 May 2010: Stop talking to this man. He is confused, and honestly even if HE think you two have a future together, do YOU think you have a future together? Is he the best thing in your life, like he sometimes claimed you were?
This man didn't respect ... (read in full...)
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These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
