| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
|
I have a fear of eating with acquaintances!
Q. Before I explain my problem, I'd just like to clear up one little thing: I don't have an eating disorder, I'm a healthy weight, and I love love love to eat, most of the time. With that in mind, even I'm finding it difficult to believe tha...
A. 7 June 2010: Great to hear that! Continue to eat and enjoy!... (read in full...)
Sex is so painful with my new husband... how can I broach this subject with him?
Q. hi please i really need you guys to answer this and help me as i am becoming depressed and dont know what to do.. i have been married for almost a year now, me and my husband had sex only the first nite but not properly... after that i have been...
A. 2 June 2010: Alright, if the problem lies with you being too tight there is hope! Don't give up, I have a few more tricks up my sleeve. But first I have to stress how important it is that you include your husband in what is going on. Even if you want to work on ... (read in full...)
Sex is so painful with my new husband... how can I broach this subject with him?
Q. hi please i really need you guys to answer this and help me as i am becoming depressed and dont know what to do.. i have been married for almost a year now, me and my husband had sex only the first nite but not properly... after that i have been...
A. 2 June 2010: You didn't quite answer all of my questions. How long did it go between each time you had sex? If it went several weeks you might as well have tightened back up again and the whole point is lost. You need to have sex regularly. Perhaps your hymen ... (read in full...)
what sort of person would I look like faking a pregnancy and abortion?
Q. A few years ago i done something really stupid. I lied to my ex and told him I was pregnant to stop him splitting up with me for another woman he had met. I was totally in love with him and really didnt want to lose him. However, the plan didnt ...
A. 1 June 2010: I suggest you don't tell your ex. Don't come forward. But, tell your current boyfriend what happened back then, so that if he hears the rumors he will know what to think. Try and leave your family out of it. I'd not tell your family unless you knew ... (read in full...)
Does a relationship really happen because of butterflies?
Q. My ex girlfriend told me that she wants to be single and we should just be friends. I can honestly say we have love for eachother but she doesn't think our relationship will go anywhere. She met a guy a couple days ago and she told me that he gives ...
A. 1 June 2010: Why do you want to be in a relationship with lots of arguing and no butterflies? Have you ever felt the butterflies? I wont say that what your girl is/was doing is right, but it's not exactly wrong either. How do you know that you and her should be ... (read in full...)
He says there is "no spark"
Q. my boyfriend and i have been together for over 7 months now, and lately we've been having a few problems. He says there's no 'spark' in our relationship anymore. when i asked him what he meant he said that he doesn't miss me as much as he used to ...
A. 1 June 2010: I believe there was a study once that claimed the infatuation period usually last no longer than 6 months. It appears to be correct. After that the rosy glasses come off. ... (read in full...)
Will an STD result come up in blood work or do I have to specifically ask for it?
Q. I have had a horrendous few weeks. My boyfriend of 6 years (I am 20) we got together when we were 14 has cheated on me. And at first I thought I could get over this but I found out there was a hell a lot of girls (sexting, kissing, meeting up ...
A. 1 June 2010: I believe they have to test you for an exact thing. They don't analyze the blood alone and just see things, they test the blood by mixing it with other chemicals (for a lack of better words and knowledge) and then see if there is a result in that ... (read in full...)
They're totally in love but it's driving me nuts!!!
Q. Hey. My best friend is in a long-distance relationship with a guy the same age as us (18) and they're totally in love. I don't have a problem with this. Her boyfriend comes to stay with her every few weeks and they're very happy together. The pr...
A. 1 June 2010: Okay, your real problem is not their relationship, but her boyfriend clinging to you as well. You don't want to be in this kind of relationship at 18, which is fine. They want it, which is fine too, and I don't think you are really judging their ... (read in full...)
They're totally in love but it's driving me nuts!!!
Q. Hey. My best friend is in a long-distance relationship with a guy the same age as us (18) and they're totally in love. I don't have a problem with this. Her boyfriend comes to stay with her every few weeks and they're very happy together. The pr...
A. 1 June 2010: Okay, your real problem is not their relationship, but her boyfriend clinging to you as well. You don't want to be in this kind of relationship at 18, which is fine. They want it, which is fine too, and I don't think you are really judging their ... (read in full...)
She is the only woman I have not been scared to love...
Q. Hi. I'm in need of some serious advice because I just don’t know what to do. My ex broke up with me last January after 4 years together and 2 years engaged, the last 6 months were very turbulent, this was because I was working 24/7 trying to get ...
A. 1 June 2010: My advice.. let her go. Your relationship ran its course and she no longer wanted you. You will be able to love again. ... (read in full...)
I feel tired of trying so hard and getting nothing in return.
Q. Hey, so I've been married for about 9 months Im 27 years old and my husband is 28, my husband and I rarely have sex, I'm lucky if it happens 2 a month. We dated for many years (11) and our sex life was great and as soon as we got married it all ...
A. 1 June 2010: Im with CaringGuy, butt kicking is in order. This isn't something you can just adjust to or overlook. He hasn't touched you... And you cried yourself to sleep during the honeymoon. If this is all true, did he not ask you why you cried? And how did ... (read in full...)
I can a woman physically cum over a male???
Q. I was giving my boyfriend a handjob the other day and he was talking saying dirty type things and he goes: 'mmm i want you to cum on me.' what does that mean ? do women 'come'/'cum' like men do ? i've masturbated for ages and when i orgasm or be...
A. 1 June 2010: Women can ejaculate. It doesn't happen too often from what I've heard. I have a friend who it keeps happening too, and I think I "squirted" once as well. But it is hard to tell, because during penetration, if a woman squirts, the penis kinda blocks ... (read in full...)
Getting married in a few months but can't get my ex and the sex we had out of my head.
Q. Loved sex with ex girlfriend but am getting married in a few months. Have seen ex gf who I was suppose to marry. When I have seen her I think of the best sex I have had. Love future wife and sex just not match in terms of orgasmic frequen...
A. 1 June 2010: I must also say: buy a vibrator. If your wife to be gets clitoral stimulation during the penetration, she can achieve an orgasm while you are in her. That is if she knows how to work a vibrator, those things need a little practice. But it is ... (read in full...)
Getting married in a few months but can't get my ex and the sex we had out of my head.
Q. Loved sex with ex girlfriend but am getting married in a few months. Have seen ex gf who I was suppose to marry. When I have seen her I think of the best sex I have had. Love future wife and sex just not match in terms of orgasmic frequen...
A. 1 June 2010: Remind yourself of what an awful person your ex was and why you left her and why your relationship didn't work out. That should do the trick. Also: if you are only starting to really think about her now, it is the wedding nerves talking! You are ... (read in full...)
I am scared that my partner might leave me when I get old.
Q. I am scared that my partner might leave me when I get old. I was 22 and my partner was 37 when we started dating. I am now 24. His previous girlfriend was only 20 when she got with him and he was 32. His first girlfriend however was one year ...
A. 1 June 2010: Is this fear based solely on his porn use and the age of his previous girlfriends? Is this a genuine fear of yours?
First off: what a man watches in porn does not really reflect on his preferences in real life. To a degree yes, but to a degree n... (read in full...)
Dating my son-in-law's mother
Q. Hello. I would like to ask a question. I am divorced for some 5 years now. My oldest daughter is married and has a wonderful husband and two beautiful daughters. Her husband's mother is also divorced for now over 2 years. We have been chating and ...
A. 1 June 2010: I think it is fine, as long as you are both mature enough to still be around each other in case the relationship fails. It is weird for your daughter only because she for so long has seen you two in different roles, apart from each other. To have ... (read in full...)
My mom spanks me with a shoe, hairbrush and sometimes a belt. How can I talk to her about this?
Q. Hi its a bit embarassing but I'm still getting spanked by my mom usually with her shoe or hairbrush sometimes with a belt. It hurts a lot and I sometimes have trouble sitting after. She wasnt always like this but after my Dad left she has no patie...
A. 1 June 2010: Even given your child a slap across the face is illegal in Norway, or so I have been given the impression. I would not say that hitting of any sort, spanking or any other physical harm to a childs body, is ok. The thing is that I dont believe this ... (read in full...)
I want my ex to be in the baby's life but he hurts me too much
Q. i would like to let everyone know that i'm not 13-15 but im unable to change it on my profile, i am 21. i am 5 months pregnant by exboyfriend (26 y/o). he was not the best boyfriend in the world but i was very very in love with him. at the mome...
A. 1 June 2010: Is he giving up his rights to be a father? Do you want to be a single mom? Does he want to be in the childs life? You can't take away his rights to be with the child, so if he wants to he will. If he does not want to have anything to do with the ... (read in full...)
Dating felt more like hanging out with a friend than all the excitement of getting to know someone new. Should I risk a relationship with him???
Q. I need some advice please on how to handle a friends turned more situation. I have been spending time with this guy as a friend for the past year and in the last couple of weeks we have both confessed that we have feelings for each other. He lives ...
A. 1 June 2010: In a way this is good. Of course you don't get the excitement of meeting someone new... you already know him! Which is what is so great, you already know most things and can move on to the next level without much worry. You know he's not the kind of ... (read in full...)
How do I make this into a booty call relationship?
Q. I met ran into an old friend that I picked up in a bar and we had sex. I am not in a position to have a relationship. I travel all over the US for work, and communicated this to him. He made sure to get my phone number. He texed me 30 minutes ...
A. 1 June 2010: Text him back and tell him you will give him a call next time you're in town. And then it should have been established. No more contact until you are ready for sex with him again. And make sure that when you are with him you do not discuss too much ... (read in full...)
Sex is so painful with my new husband... how can I broach this subject with him?
Q. hi please i really need you guys to answer this and help me as i am becoming depressed and dont know what to do.. i have been married for almost a year now, me and my husband had sex only the first nite but not properly... after that i have been...
A. 1 June 2010: You should definitely see your doctor if you do not find a solution to this problem. A sexless marriage so young is not good, not for him, you, or the marriage. Sex is an important part of a relationship. But before I can help you you need to tell ... (read in full...)
Why do I lose interest after I've masturbated?
Q. Why is it that every time I masturbate, as soon as I ejaculate I immediately lose interest. I mean i just stop, clean up, and go on about my day like it never happened. I don't like this because I...when masturbating have deep fantasies, but as soon ...
A. 1 June 2010: I guess that varies from person to person, but I can imagine sexual fantasies leads to the want to masturbate, and after doing so there is no need for the fantasy to arouse you any more. For now. And then like Samantha x said, it always comes back. ... (read in full...)
I have a fear of eating with acquaintances!
Q. Before I explain my problem, I'd just like to clear up one little thing: I don't have an eating disorder, I'm a healthy weight, and I love love love to eat, most of the time. With that in mind, even I'm finding it difficult to believe tha...
A. 1 June 2010: I blame instincts. Im horrible like this too, except I guard my food. If anyone approaches my food I will pull my plate away and hover over it. I also dislike people watching me eat unless they have food themselves. Makes me feel like they might ... (read in full...)
I'm completely ready to give up my whole life for my online crush of 5years. Is this normal?
Q. I'm 16 years old and I'm convinced that I'm completely in love with someone I've never met. We've spoken to each other online for 5 years, the first time we spoke then and got to know each other we'd said we liked each other but then disregarded ...
A. 1 June 2010: Q, that is actually a risk every woman takes when dating any man, whether they met online or not. ... (read in full...)
When it comes right down to it boys never want a relationship with me
Q. Hey, I'm fed up of boys using me when they are bored. They give it all the sweet talk like " I really like you and couldn't imagine having this much fun with another girl" but when it come to it they never want a realtionship. This isn't the 1st ...
A. 31 May 2010: You are going for the wrong type of guy. Find someone in a different setting, someone unlike the ones you usually meet up with. And make it clear from the beginning what you are looking for so only the ones who actually are interested go for it. And ... (read in full...)
Do I have a right to ask him not to send a postcard to the girl he loved before me?
Q. I'm going away for the weekend with my boyfriend. He told me to bring a pen to write postcards with. He has a female friend whom he used to be in love with before he met me, and I know he will want to send her a postcard, he sent her one a year ago ...
A. 31 May 2010: You are jealous? Because she gets a postcard and you get to actually be there on vacation with this guy?
Again.. you are on a romantic weekend, just the two of you.. and he feels the need to inform this friend of this, just smudge it right up... (read in full...)
Any new technique to make masturbating a better experience?
Q. I am a 17 year old female who masturbates frequently. At least 2-3 times a week. I use my finger and own a dildo, but I am wondering if there is anything else I can do, or any new techniques to try to make it a better experience :) Thanks...
A. 31 May 2010: A vibrator or the shower. Then try different speeds, or try lasting longer. Playing with your anus can also give different sensations. ... (read in full...)
Long distance relationship stress!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for about three years; he's traveling for work and I'm in medical school. We've talked about getting engaged once we can be in the same city and we've both met each other's families. We have a fantastic...
A. 31 May 2010: I got some good advice from my dear friend today. Not exactly advice, but I complained about how my man didn't do the dishes when I asked him, and how I didn't get enough attention. She said "Oh what can you do about those MEN, they are always like ... (read in full...)
Do you think my relationship is healthy?
Q. i'm with my boyfriend 8 months now and were very happy together, we've never had a fight yet do you's think my relationship is healthy? my friend keeps saying to me its weird we haven't had a fight she fights with her boyfriend all the time, me and ...
A. 31 May 2010: At one point or there other there is bound to be a fight unless you are both extremely good at keeping up a mask and accepting everything there is without getting the slightest affected. Do you live together? Anyway, your relationship is fine, and ... (read in full...)
Is being with 6 men sexually by the age of 30 a lot?
Q. okay so this is a very random curious question. I'm turning 30 and have been with 6 men sexually. Is this a lot for a woman of my age to have been with that many men? Sometimes i wonder and feel bad about my sexual experiences. ...
A. 31 May 2010: Oh my.. I've been with at least 15 and Im 24. So if there should be shame on you I must be burnt alive shouldn't I...?
6 is quite few. You have lived the life of a puritan. ... (read in full...)
Interracial marriage having issues
Q. I'm An African American guy married to a German woman.but we are having serious issues. Been married now for 6 years.our relationship was cool when I was stationed in Germany but now back in the states things are difficult. We have had iss...
A. 31 May 2010: *kind of woman (not money, why did I ever write that)... (read in full...)
Interracial marriage having issues
Q. I'm An African American guy married to a German woman.but we are having serious issues. Been married now for 6 years.our relationship was cool when I was stationed in Germany but now back in the states things are difficult. We have had iss...
A. 31 May 2010: Are you seriously considering cheating? Or are you here because you feel how much you miss female interaction and wondering how you can get it back from your wife? So your wife is not relating to you, in what ways is she not relating to you? Im ... (read in full...)
Would getting a guy a teddy bear for his birthday be stupid?
Q. He always tells me he's lonely and so I always tell him teddy bears help. So finally his 16 bday is coming up (we're just friends) and I was just wondering if getting him a teddy bear would be too embarrassing for him? He's a nice guy, I think he ...
A. 31 May 2010: Depends, do you plan on giving it to him in front of friends or when he's by himself? Don't get him an expensive teddy though, as he is less than likely going to actually use it. Give him something cute and charming, but not that expensive. And then ... (read in full...)
I had sex without protection, how do I ask my mum for a pregnancy test?
Q. me and my bf were on a date we went to the movies when it was over we went to his car and we were making out then that leaded to sex i was leting him lead when i got home i was scared cuz i didnt use a condom and if i ask my mom for a pregantce test ...
A. 31 May 2010: Aren't you old enough to a) know better b) move out c) buy your own pregnancy test? Take some responsibility, go get your own test for your own money, and your boyfriend clearly knows how to drive, so bring him too, after all his half to blame. ... (read in full...)
Which books will improve my vocabuary?
Q. Hey there, I am 25 and since leaving school and university, I have hardly had the time to read books nor really had an interest for them, but as time goes by I find that my English is not as profound and great as it could be and I am starting to f...
A. 31 May 2010: dictionary.com is your friend... (read in full...)
Which books will improve my vocabuary?
Q. Hey there, I am 25 and since leaving school and university, I have hardly had the time to read books nor really had an interest for them, but as time goes by I find that my English is not as profound and great as it could be and I am starting to f...
A. 31 May 2010: Tolkien. His use of words gave me a headache or two.... (read in full...)
Why do I get aroused by the stuff on tv?
Q. I am very confused. While I know I am very very much attracted to men, for some reason, I get turned on by thoughts of or watching girl on girl sex scenes and stuff. This is weirding me out a bit. Because I know that I want to be with a guy, kiss a ...
A. 31 May 2010: Well, I will say what others say on here which is great advice, and advice I have received myself: stop trying to label yourself. You are a straight woman who wants to marry a man, but who knows to appreciate the sexuality of women. Could be you ... (read in full...)
So how much contact is appropriate?
Q. I'm going overseas for a holiday for a month! I'm 16 with an 18 year old boyfriend. How often should I contact him while away? Skype is a viable communication method as is email. I don't want to ruin my relationship but I also don't want to spe...
A. 31 May 2010: Once every other night send an e-mail, send a short e-mail every night if possible, do a skype thingy maybe once or twice a week. Should be enough. But plan this with him before you leave!!! He is the one who will wait to hear from you, and if you ... (read in full...)
I'm completely ready to give up my whole life for my online crush of 5years. Is this normal?
Q. I'm 16 years old and I'm convinced that I'm completely in love with someone I've never met. We've spoken to each other online for 5 years, the first time we spoke then and got to know each other we'd said we liked each other but then disregarded ...
A. 31 May 2010: Oh yes, I happened to forget another thing I wanted to say. Everyone here, including me, is scared and worried that you will take a beating from this man, be locked up in a room, loose your ties to your family and have no financial means of your own ... (read in full...)
I'm completely ready to give up my whole life for my online crush of 5years. Is this normal?
Q. I'm 16 years old and I'm convinced that I'm completely in love with someone I've never met. We've spoken to each other online for 5 years, the first time we spoke then and got to know each other we'd said we liked each other but then disregarded ...
A. 31 May 2010: I happen to think this is great, although I suspect everyone else things this is horrible because you are so young and yadda yadda, + you met him online. You talked for 5 years. Even if a man if great at keeping up a charade it usually doesnt stay ... (read in full...)
Why did I cheat on my boyfriend when everything is so perfect? What is wrong with me?
Q. First of all let me start by saying that I already am aware of what I have done, I am not looking for comfort or criticism - what I have come here for is help or insight into my behaviour. I cheated on my boyfriend, I met someone through work las...
A. 31 May 2010: Well, I think it is easier to tell you how to prevent this from happening, than it is to tell you why you did it. And thank you for not flaming me, I realize my advice could be a bit harsh.
Everyone of us has an ugly duckling inside. Even me.... (read in full...)
I don't have an hymen even though I'm not an athelete.
Q. hii!iam not an athlete..but i dont hav an hymen layer..i found this when me and my boyfriend had sex..from that point of time he is suspecting me a lot..!!i was a virgin when i slept with him..but he is not trusting me b'coz of the absence of hymen ...
A. 31 May 2010: Your man is a jerk. How did you know you did not have a hymen? Because you did not bleed? Not all virgins bleed, I dont understand why all men seem to think so. I did not bleed, and neither did my friends. If your boyfriend wont trust you he is a ... (read in full...)
If someone masturbates can it cause erection problems?
Q. If a person masturbates can it cause you to not have an erection over a period time?...
A. 31 May 2010: No... but I suppose if he does it several times a day he might not feel the need to get up and going again. Also his balls are pretty much empty, so maybe he will have a harder time getting up because the body don't see a point? He will have a ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to fool around with a guy when you are not using any contraception?
Q. Is i ok to fool around with a guy when you are currently not an form of contraception. I know sex is a definite no no....
A. 31 May 2010: Fooling around with clothes on is fine without contraceptives. Being naked you have to be sure his penis is no where near your vagina, and it should be fine too. Just to be safe, always have one partner with underwear on. And if you want to be ... (read in full...)
Why did I cheat on my boyfriend when everything is so perfect? What is wrong with me?
Q. First of all let me start by saying that I already am aware of what I have done, I am not looking for comfort or criticism - what I have come here for is help or insight into my behaviour. I cheated on my boyfriend, I met someone through work las...
A. 31 May 2010: Alright, I think the reason is simple. You lack self control. Knowing psychology wont help you, get control over yourself is what you need. You blew it with your boyfriend, tell him what happened and let him go.
Try to think less about yourself... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
|
![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
