| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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I slept with my teacher on impulse, what should I do now?
Q. Thanks for answering this, if it even gets posted! A few days ago whilst staying after school to talk to a teacher we got into a very deep conversation, he was telling me about his wife, we've always been closer than teacher and pupil as he helpe...
A. 24 May 2010: First or last, I think he has prooven his ability to do this... and why should you believe him?... (read in full...)
Are there really guys who would stop watching porn if it really was a problem for me?
Q. I was wondering. It seems the general consensus on this website is that women who have problems with porn are insecure and that all men watch it and it's not fair to them to ask them to stop. However, I was wondering if it's fair in my case to ask. ...
A. 21 May 2010: Err, well I think your friend in that case was a bit on the defencive side. After all you weren't planning on dating HIM, so why he suddenly steps up as some "mans-right" defender is a bit beyond me. My guess is he loves porn and though of your ... (read in full...)
Are there really guys who would stop watching porn if it really was a problem for me?
Q. I was wondering. It seems the general consensus on this website is that women who have problems with porn are insecure and that all men watch it and it's not fair to them to ask them to stop. However, I was wondering if it's fair in my case to ask. ...
A. 21 May 2010: I think your issue with porn then is a multifaced one. I appologize for making this sound technical, whatever I say it is ultimately you who make the decisions and know what is rigth for you. But from how I see it... First off you have the obvious ... (read in full...)
Are there really guys who would stop watching porn if it really was a problem for me?
Q. I was wondering. It seems the general consensus on this website is that women who have problems with porn are insecure and that all men watch it and it's not fair to them to ask them to stop. However, I was wondering if it's fair in my case to ask. ...
A. 21 May 2010: A similar study was also performed to show that people were more inclined to fear terrorist attack if shown violent images of explosions, than if they were shows maps of where terrorist attacks had occurred.
TV people and commercials use this all... (read in full...)
I slept with my teacher on impulse, what should I do now?
Q. Thanks for answering this, if it even gets posted! A few days ago whilst staying after school to talk to a teacher we got into a very deep conversation, he was telling me about his wife, we've always been closer than teacher and pupil as he helpe...
A. 20 May 2010: Have you never been in love before or had to get over someone before? Yes, there's a way. List up all the wrong things about this man, all the reasons not to be involved with him. Then use pure logic to convince yourself that he is bad for you (the ... (read in full...)
I slept with my teacher on impulse, what should I do now?
Q. Thanks for answering this, if it even gets posted! A few days ago whilst staying after school to talk to a teacher we got into a very deep conversation, he was telling me about his wife, we've always been closer than teacher and pupil as he helpe...
A. 19 May 2010: Avoid avoid avoid. You have an emotional connection with him mainly because you had a sexual connection with him. We women are wired that way. But you know yourself you must kill these feelings, they are only a product of his creation. He seduced ... (read in full...)
A very complicated mess with my wife, the girl I lost my virginity to, my best friend and now the boy I have found out is my son......
Q. When I was in school I was on the swim team. We had an away meet which was the regional meet so the school put us up in a hotel. This wasn't chapperoned very well and I went to the room of some girls from a school that was from a rival school in ...
A. 19 May 2010: Dear poster, did you read up on paternity fraud? Your dear brother in law can, if you are prooved to be this young mans father, sue you for a lot of money. You can also sue your sister in law for this. I suggest you contact a lawyer and get some ... (read in full...)
He doesn't know what love is!
Q. My live in boyfriend of a few years and I have been fighting a lot lately. It's over stuff that, as his girlfriend, I don't want to know about. Nothing bad, just typical boy stuff. Seperately we could deal with it, but it's been a few things i...
A. 19 May 2010: He's insecure and immature. My ex's gave me that same line after a year together. One I was living with at the time, and we broke up over his "Im not sure if I love you" comment. The other was the one who suggested we moved in together, but before ... (read in full...)
Is there anything I could take to lower my sex drive?
Q. my wife has a low sex drive. is their something i can take to match this i have a high sex drive and would like to match Im 32 shes 28 we had 4 kids i want i every other day she wants it every other mouth pleas help thanks John P....
A. 19 May 2010: Watch porn? I don't know about anything to lower your sex drive, could you possibly ask your doctor about this? Have you talked to your wife and come to an angreement that this is what will be best for the both of you? I dont think you can lower ... (read in full...)
As a single-mother how do I talk to my son about safe sex?
Q. Hello. I just need advice to every parents. I am a single mother to my son. He is now in his 13 years old. I wanted to teach him how to do safe sex because i know this is the start of youngster to have a girl friend and i know in this age he is no...
A. 19 May 2010: Do you have any male family members or friends that could talk to him for you? If not, and you are worried about what you can and can not say because of your religion, ask a priest for advice on how to talk to your son about sex.
If your religion... (read in full...)
Why cant he get hard?
Q. one of my friend penis not getting up it is not Hard, when he going to sex it not getting up what we can do what is the reasone ... Wy the resons Any way to cheak Can we go to the good doctor or what...
A. 19 May 2010: Go to the doctor, he sounds like he has an impotence problem.... (read in full...)
Is there anything I can do to reduce my discomfort caused by the damage to my pelvic wall?
Q. The doctor told me that I had damage to my pelvic wall and I will probably always have to deal with the discomfort, but I don't know if I trust that that's what it is, I've had a pap test so I know I'm clean from STD's but it's really irritated then ...
A. 19 May 2010: "Some of my girlfriends,say that they get a stinging sensation after too much sex, or too much rough sex. I'm not sure if this true, or if it applies to anyone else?"
Yes this applied to others, I've experienced this and I am convinced that thi... (read in full...)
Are there really guys who would stop watching porn if it really was a problem for me?
Q. I was wondering. It seems the general consensus on this website is that women who have problems with porn are insecure and that all men watch it and it's not fair to them to ask them to stop. However, I was wondering if it's fair in my case to ask. ...
A. 19 May 2010: I am continuing my answer, I had to leave for a little but there are still a few things I'd like to say, refering to what others have said on here and your feedback. These men were bad to begin with, something was wrong in their heads and porn was ... (read in full...)
Are there really guys who would stop watching porn if it really was a problem for me?
Q. I was wondering. It seems the general consensus on this website is that women who have problems with porn are insecure and that all men watch it and it's not fair to them to ask them to stop. However, I was wondering if it's fair in my case to ask. ...
A. 19 May 2010: I am sorry for what happened to you. I can relate on a small scale, I dont mean to bring my own issue up to the same level as yours, but here's what I think. I wont date a guy who plays WoW, simply because I hate the game after dating an addict who ... (read in full...)
Physical evidence that he's been cheating?
Q. my boyfriend has 2 red big patches in between his upper theighs and i asked him what they were from one time and he said maybe it was because i was giving him oral sex and they were from my head rubbing up against him...I can see that happening, but ...
A. 19 May 2010: 2 red big patches... Tell him to see a doctor about it. Could be a rash from boxers. Or maybe he's wearing too tight jeans? As for the patches appearing from you giving him head, I dont see that happening. If you do then I am sure you have your ... (read in full...)
Is there anything I can do to reduce my discomfort caused by the damage to my pelvic wall?
Q. The doctor told me that I had damage to my pelvic wall and I will probably always have to deal with the discomfort, but I don't know if I trust that that's what it is, I've had a pap test so I know I'm clean from STD's but it's really irritated then ...
A. 18 May 2010: Can you describe to us what the pelvic wall is? I tried to google but can't find a good explanation. Did the doctor give you a thorough examination?
"around my vagina on the outside and the tip of the inside stings and leaves me with discomfo... (read in full...)
How much effort does it take to text?
Q. I was supposed to go round this guy's house tonight. We talked earlier, and he said he had a friend round and would text me later, when he was free. Only he never did. It's now really late, and I've not heard anything from him, not even a "sorry" ...
A. 16 May 2010: That happened to me too! Its amazing isn't it, how people tell you they will do one thing, and then let you down. Im sticking to the version of them falling down the toilet, thereby preventing them from giving me signs of life whatsoever. And in my ... (read in full...)
She's spreading her disease all over my social circle so what do I do about her?
Q. My roommates and I recently moved into a new apartment. We know others in the complex, including a boyfriend and girlfriend who moved there for cheap rent, they're old friends of my co-workers. Well that girlfriend is now dating one of my roomma...
A. 16 May 2010: I think you should try and ignore her. Its like what Marieclaire said, if he's not paying his half then that is HIS fault, not his gf's. She can be a gold digger for all we care, but she's not the one not paying her bills. Get pissed off at the guy ... (read in full...)
I slept with my teacher on impulse, what should I do now?
Q. Thanks for answering this, if it even gets posted! A few days ago whilst staying after school to talk to a teacher we got into a very deep conversation, he was telling me about his wife, we've always been closer than teacher and pupil as he helpe...
A. 15 May 2010: "What am I supposed to do because I kissed back etc so I am just as responsible "
No, you're not just as responsible. He is your teacher. He is responsible. He took advantage of you. Shut up about it if you dont want him to loose his job, or tell ... (read in full...)
What do I do with my hands?
Q. Basically, when my boyfriend is eating me out I have no idea what to do, like should I run my hands through his hair or something? Please help, thanks :)...
A. 15 May 2010: Grab your boobs with them. One hand on each, or run the hands down your thighs and squeeze yourself. Or you can grab onto the sheets and give him the image that you can barely hold on for the pleasure.
... (read in full...)
Did we both cheat and do two wrongs make a right?
Q. I have been married for almost 7 years, About 5 years ago I caught him on a porn site doing his business in front of the computer and it really made me mad. He never takes blame for aanything. He told me since the sex was not often enough he got i...
A. 15 May 2010: I dont agree to calling him a cheater, he wasn't having a relationship or affair with another woman. He was looking at porn, not talking to other women, not having them do anything to him. Basically he watched a porn movie and got off to it. It's ... (read in full...)
She won't tell me what went on, but I'm suspicious
Q. hey! I was just very curious, what would happen if your friend was in love with a school teacher, and they went into hi office then 2/3 hours later she came out looking wild and freaky?? What could of happened whilst they were in there for al...
A. 15 May 2010: The teacher is not supposed to have the office door shut. I guess this varies from country to country, but tell another teacher about your suspicions. In the worst case scenario the teacher gets fired and everything causes a huge commotion, and in ... (read in full...)
My wife is afraid to swallow. What can I do to help her get rid of this little fear?
Q. I have a great relationship with my wife and we love each other very much. She and I give each other oral sex. The thing is that I have asked her if she will swalow and she has said yes but she just can't bring herself to do it. What can I do ...
A. 15 May 2010: Lucky you Q, you were close to a bar, I was on a deserted iseland...... (read in full...)
I don't know whether to talk to him after what happened last night
Q. Okay, I don't know why I really have a problem, but I do. Well, last night I had the house to myself so I thought this was cool I could hang out with some of my friends, chill out, blah blah blah. Well these 3 guys I know came over with some d...
A. 15 May 2010: How old is he and your friends? If they are older than you, even if just by a year or two, you might want to take it to the police and file a report.
First off they gave a minor alchohol, which is against the law. Second he molested you, also aga... (read in full...)
How can I get rid of the spots and bumps caused by shaving my private area?
Q. I urgently need solutions to this pressing problem, i have this very dark spots and bumps on my private part as a result of shaving. I'm fair in complexion and the area is so dark, i feel very uncomfortable naked. What can i use to get rid of those ...
A. 15 May 2010: What direction do you shave? It sounds like you might have a problem with ingrown hair. Shave in the same directin as the hair grows. It wont be as smooth, but it will prevent in grown hair and red bumps. Also leaving a part of hair, like a strip, ... (read in full...)
Would my tongue bar get caught on his braces?!
Q. i had my tongue pierced last year and i now hardly notice it. and theres this guy i like who's quite open to piercings n stuff, we're getting along great and we've kissed a couple of times but not snogged. i was wondering if you had any tips for...
A. 15 May 2010: Have you snogged (Im guessing that means kissing with tongue) with someone else after you got the piercing? And you are just concerned about his braces? I've kissed a guy with pierced tongue, it was quite nice and interesting. He had his piercing ... (read in full...)
He played me!
Q. [Moderator note: paragraph breaks were inserted to make this easier to read. Also, ".." was removed from every single sentence. Please use standard punctuation and paragraph breaks when following up. Please.] Haha. Here's the thing. My ex boyf...
A. 15 May 2010: Good for you girl!... (read in full...)
Should I tell my partner I was abused when I was younger... by my brother?
Q. When I was a child I was abused (sexually) by my older brother. I've had no contact with him for years except for the past year when my father got sick and he was there. Aside from my mom, the rest of my family does not know about it. Being in my ...
A. 15 May 2010: I dont think their view of you would change. Its not like you did anything. They'd definitely change their view about your brother though.
I think if you are in a long term, devoted relationship, there should be no sceletons in the closet a... (read in full...)
Do you think my teacher may like me too???
Q. I have a question, more than one I think. I'm from the Netherlands and I'm 16, I have this teacher (24) who is absolutely amazing and I have like.. a real crush on him. The first day I met him I was already in to him and I know it's impossib...
A. 15 May 2010: I think you should tell him that it is inappropriate of him to be flirting with you, and as much as you like him as a person and enjoy a good flirt, he needs to realize his position and stop stringing you along.
When he is no longer your teacher,... (read in full...)
Is texting my mum about my boyfriend a good idea?
Q. Right, so heres the thing. Im white, my boyfriend is of pakistani decendancy. We have been together for over 6 months now, and well the problem is, my mum, she is really racist and i have been scared to tell her. I am planning to tell her by text...
A. 15 May 2010: Do what you feel is best, maybe you could tell your mom you have a boyfriend first and see how she reacts to this fact alone? Then if she is curious about him be honest and tell the truth if you wish and see how it goes.
My father isn't racist, ... (read in full...)
Am I being unreasonable to expect these things?
Q. I'm a newlywed only married about a year. My husband never learned how to drive and I really would like him to. He just won't do it and won't even try. I am getting really tired of hauling him around places. He takes public transport but compl...
A. 15 May 2010: Bring home some adervtisement for driving schools and have him take a look at it. Of course he doesnt want to drive when he's got you as his personal chauffeur. Just be mature and reasonable about this. You like him to be independant from you, so ... (read in full...)
We have planned that we will start having sex this weekend, and I have some contraception questions!
Q. Me and my boyfriend want to start having sex, and we have kind of planned that it will be this weekend. Im not sure which contraception to use and where i can get it from and how i use it and all that. I know that he already has condoms and i wasnt ...
A. 15 May 2010: You can only use condoms. The morning after pill is not meant to be used as a contraceptive, it is only for emergencies. And to be able to use the birth control pill you must have been on it for about a week before having sex, so there is no time ... (read in full...)
I can't feel empathy for anyone! I want to, but I can't!
Q. I'm well-liked, I have lots of friends, and I'm a pretty sweet person. People trust me and often cry to me about their problems. With friends, typical teen situations like suicide, parents, grade-failure, love, are the topics talked about. With a ...
A. 15 May 2010: I am not a doctor, and believe you should ask the person who diagnosed you these questions. But here's my thoughts on what you've said.
"I haven't blocked out negative emotions either since anger is very dominant in me." Having anger doesnt p... (read in full...)
How can I say "no" to my neighbors without becoming the building bitch?
Q. this isn't about a romantic relationship, but moreso a neighborly one. I just moved into a new building. I live on the first floor and these kidsare ALWAYS out by my patio. They ask for food, gum, something to drink, etc. At first I would an...
A. 15 May 2010: Just say no, and if people will judge you on that it's their own problem. You can't go on like this and let them walk all over you.
I think a fair no is the simplest and easiest thing to say. The kids are praying on you and your kindness... (read in full...)
Is it me blowing things out of proportion?
Q. When my boyfriend goes out he just doesn't bother to text me or anything, it seems he ignores me, he said he'd change after he didn't text me all night the other night... thing is, he doesn't even understand how it feels because I never go out. ...
A. 15 May 2010: He's out and busy. He's with friends. Why do you need him to smother you and contact you all the time? I've never contacted my boyfriends when I went out on town, and they didn't have a habit of contacting me either. So no contact to me sounds quite ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to know you will be together before you even talk to them?
Q. Is it possible to know you will be together before you even talk to them? i recently saw this boy at my school and think he is attractive all of a sudden, but i know i have seen him before. I am 17 and i really feel like he could be someone i hav...
A. 15 May 2010: Sometimes things just click and you know it's meant to happen. Spaces out as it might sound: if you're reading the wibes right it could be happening. But as mentioned before it could also not happen for some reason. Maybe someone or something ... (read in full...)
Should I cancel the date because he told me his penis size?
Q. Hi friends, I met a guy online and he is 13 years younger than me. I am 48, take great care of myself and get alot of attention from guys. We are both professionals, work out alot and he is very handsome. We have been emailing, within a week he...
A. 15 May 2010: Female anon: Im guessing everyone would assume it was the guy who asked for the womans breast size and therefor he'd be judged the perv in that context too. ... (read in full...)
Should I cancel the date because he told me his penis size?
Q. Hi friends, I met a guy online and he is 13 years younger than me. I am 48, take great care of myself and get alot of attention from guys. We are both professionals, work out alot and he is very handsome. We have been emailing, within a week he...
A. 15 May 2010: Why did you agree to a date with him if you aren't sure you want to see him at all? He sounds pretty immature and I guess thinks all women drool all over him, so he doesnt even need to have any other qualities than a dick to seal the deal. Then ... (read in full...)
When I turned down his marriage proposal he went and married his ex instead!
Q. i was living with a man he ask me to marry him and i wouldn't because i was mad at him that day. so he went and married his ex. he was gone living with her for 2 weeks before he moved back home. we have been living together now for 2 years sence ...
A. 15 May 2010: I think it makes little sense to stay with him when he marries someone else just out of spite. ... (read in full...)
I want to end this friends with benefits situation with my ex?? Suggestions?
Q. Hello, I've been in a physical relationship with my ex boyfriend for the past 3 months. Prior to this we had dated for almost a year, when I decided to break up with him. I did this because I felt my needs were not being met. He was thoughtf...
A. 14 May 2010: Stop all contact. Worked for me. ... (read in full...)
I need him to grow up!!!
Q. hi, I am 20 years old and my bf is 23, we meet usually twice a week, for sex most of the time, he only text me, no calls! I'm the one who rarely calls.. we had a great romance a long time ago, he is my first real bf and I still love him like I did ...
A. 14 May 2010: Maybe you can take the first step and see how he responds? Ask him what future he sees with you. But make sure that beforehand you have determined what kind of future/relationship you want. Are you looking inot getting married? Moving in with him? ... (read in full...)
I'm dating my step brother but we're not blood. Is this so wrong???
Q. I am a 26 year old female dating my step-brother who is almost 18, but am I wrong? We love each other. His parents are freaking out, because we are step, we are not blood kin, what is the big deal? What should we do?...
A. 14 May 2010: Maybe they are freaking out over the age difference too? The parents probably consider you to be siblings and thats why they freak out. For how long were you step-siblings? Are you living together?... (read in full...)
Can a guy tell if you're a virgin or not?
Q. Hi, So i'm 20 and lost my virginity recently. It was with a guy I sort of know. I was drunk at the time and so was he. He didn't know I was a virgin and I haven't told him. I don't think it's a good idea he knows. Is there a way he could tell? I di...
A. 14 May 2010: You were both drunk, but guys can tell. They dont overthink things, and Im not sure if he is chatting on about it with his guy friends really. But Im pretty sure he can tell. Usually virgins are virgins at basically everything, don't know where to ... (read in full...)
I need him to grow up!!!
Q. hi, I am 20 years old and my bf is 23, we meet usually twice a week, for sex most of the time, he only text me, no calls! I'm the one who rarely calls.. we had a great romance a long time ago, he is my first real bf and I still love him like I did ...
A. 14 May 2010: Demand to be a part of his life. For how long have you dated? After a year it is definitely time to be included and presented to family and friends, and possibly think about moving in together.... (read in full...)
How can you tell that hes not after your money or expect you to pay for things?
Q. i am new to the dating world, here goes. i have been dating a guy for the last 2 months. at first 3 dates he paid for everything a gentleman and now we share which im happy with. my question is i dont know if expecting too much from him, but how i...
A. 14 May 2010: I think the person paying should choose where to go as well. Its not like he is "spoiling you" when you are paying your own ways. More like he is spoiling himself by taking himself to a nice restaurant of his choice.
I say he pays for what he ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend with the wanderlust!
Q. Things have been going ok for a little while with my boyfriend, until a couple of weeks ago where now all i feel is a mixture of love and resentment. He's planning on going travellng around southen france in a few months time. This all sounds ...
A. 14 May 2010: Find a man with similar goals as you, similar views about money, and someone who will want to share the fun with you, and not alone.
Nothing wrong with the way he lives life, it's just that its unpredictable, unstable, he's broke (and that in ... (read in full...)
Please help me get rid of these feelings...
Q. hi,I live in belgium. I came here with my family six years ago to study. I'm married with two children and have a relatively happy married life although I never tasted true love with my husband. However it was ok and I was happy with my children and ...
A. 14 May 2010: These feelings you have for your promotor are not feelings of true love either, if thats what you think. They are one sided, a crush, an admiration, call it what you like. But it is not love.
Next, what to do about it? Avoid him to the best of ... (read in full...)
A very complicated mess with my wife, the girl I lost my virginity to, my best friend and now the boy I have found out is my son......
Q. When I was in school I was on the swim team. We had an away meet which was the regional meet so the school put us up in a hotel. This wasn't chapperoned very well and I went to the room of some girls from a school that was from a rival school in ...
A. 14 May 2010: This is called paternity fraud and the OP is not a sperm donor. He's been robbed of the chance to be a father to this boy, and his brother-in-law has been robbed as well, both of his money and of his son. Laws concerning paternity fraud vary from ... (read in full...)
A very complicated mess with my wife, the girl I lost my virginity to, my best friend and now the boy I have found out is my son......
Q. When I was in school I was on the swim team. We had an away meet which was the regional meet so the school put us up in a hotel. This wasn't chapperoned very well and I went to the room of some girls from a school that was from a rival school in ...
A. 13 May 2010: She begged you not to tell, that doesnt pin you down in any way. You have no obligation to do as she says. She has lied and deceived you and your brother-in-law. A part of it is your own fault, for not using protection. But she should have told YOU ... (read in full...)
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