| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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I did everything he wanted and he still broke up with me
Q. Okay I started dating this guys five years ago, in the beggining he didnt want a relationship but after we became intimate,and i threatened to walk away if i dint get a title, he said lets be official. In the beggining my weight bothered him. I was ...
A. 24 May 2010: Give it TIME. Time heals everything! I promise, you will be fine, just give it time.... (read in full...)
Boys like my friend more than me, what can I do, don't want to hate her?
Q. when i met a boy it all goes well until they met my friend and then they fancy her. i dnt knw wat im doin rite. i knw this shouldnt be happin because she my friend and friends should always cum before boys but im startin to hate her 4 it. what ...
A. 24 May 2010: Keep introdusing guys to her. I know its really annoying, but its really the perfect set-up. She works as a tester for who really care about YOU, and who don't. If a boy/man is into YOU then he will be able to ignore your friends charm and stay ... (read in full...)
My parents don't like that I am in a FWB relationship
Q. I'm in a casual relationship with this girl. To be blunt all we really do is meet up and have sex every few days. What I really don't get is that people dissaprove of it, especially my parents. They say it's not right and that I should be in a ...
A. 24 May 2010: Stop telling them intimate details about your sex life... My parents have no clue what I do with whom in the bedroom, and naturally have never pestered me about whom I sleep with.
Watch what you say to your parents! Tell them a white lie and say ... (read in full...)
My husband loves bj's but I don't like the taste
Q. My husband loves bjs. What guy doesn't right? Well, I hate the taste of sperm, I mean I really hate it, but I adore my husband. I went online to find spermicide free condoms to see if maybe giving him a bj with out tasting it would leave us both ...
A. 24 May 2010: Why does he have to cum in your mouth? Finish him off with your hand so you wont get sperm in your mouth. If you are bothered by the pre-cum as well, there's several things to do:
-don't lick the tip where the pre-cum comes out, but around t... (read in full...)
I slept with my teacher on impulse, what should I do now?
Q. Thanks for answering this, if it even gets posted! A few days ago whilst staying after school to talk to a teacher we got into a very deep conversation, he was telling me about his wife, we've always been closer than teacher and pupil as he helpe...
A. 24 May 2010: First or last, I think he has prooven his ability to do this... and why should you believe him?... (read in full...)
Major trust issues on both sides, what do I do?
Q. Hi, I have been in a relationship for two years with my boyfriend. He wants to move in together, and get married. I'm not sure if I want the same. He's very expressive, affectionate, but also, demanding, jealous. He always texts me and asks "whe...
A. 23 May 2010: Im not sure if there is grounds to believe he is cheating, or gambling for that matter. He might be, he also might not be. One thing is for sure: if he is you wont hear it from him! So asking him will take you no where.
How is it that you can ... (read in full...)
Why stinky toes?
Q. Dear Cupid. I know this isn't about sex or relationship but it's generally about my body. When I cut the nails of my big toes, I cut them as far as I can and when i do that, this horrible smell comes out and I think it's because in an already si...
A. 23 May 2010: Yes, that is correct what MissKin said. Don't cut your nails all the way back. You shoudl always leave some of the white! ... (read in full...)
Why stinky toes?
Q. Dear Cupid. I know this isn't about sex or relationship but it's generally about my body. When I cut the nails of my big toes, I cut them as far as I can and when i do that, this horrible smell comes out and I think it's because in an already si...
A. 23 May 2010: Get a doctors appointment and ask. This doesn't sound normal, at least my toes never smelled like you describe.... (read in full...)
My father is disgusting
Q. Recently I accidentally came across my dad's pervert folder. No, this is not normal, this isn't just a few X-rated videos. Let me put this in perspective for you. My dad is the nice guy of the family. He's everyone's favorite relative. I fou...
A. 22 May 2010: ... How do you think your mom would react if she found out? Recording your cousin wothout her knowledge is sick, and I dare say illegal. I think it would be best if she never found out about it though.
Would you consider taking the tape and show... (read in full...)
He got cold feet and broke up with me!
Q. Dear cupid, I am 24 and my ex-bf is 22. We dated for about 3 months and everything was going great, until one day he broke up with me. We didn't speak for about a month after we broke up and recently we talked as friends. He opened up and told me ...
A. 22 May 2010: I don't believe the reason he chickened out is that you slept with him too early. I don't even think you slept with him too early. My waiting-time is two weeks, and I've been in relationships where those two weeks weren't even properly respected. ... (read in full...)
Scared to get in contact with my old friends after everything that happened
Q. right, this is a really long story and im in dire need of help so please bare with me =) ok, here goes. . . all through highschool i was best mates with 2 amazing girls, jade and leah. in the last two years we had a fairly huge argument and w...
A. 22 May 2010: Alright, you want tips on how to approach this... Well you could try sending your old friend a message on facebook saying "hi, how are you doing?", that shows some interest without being too eager. Then hopefully she replies and you can say "I was ... (read in full...)
My parents don't approve of my 20 year-old boyfriend
Q. i am 15 (and appear 17.. to some).and i have always been told that i am very mature for my age as far as the way i behave, talk and the way relate with adults.i am already in the eleventh grade and ready to graduate next year (two years ahead of my ...
A. 22 May 2010: Let me clear something off my chest first. "Im more mature than others my age" is unfortunately a highly overplayed line. And you looking 17 doesn't help your maturity level. I had a friend that at 14 looked 21. Did it stop her from making mistakes? ... (read in full...)
I don't understand the things he said when we were making out
Q. I let my boyfriend of 3 weeks finger me yesterday. Before he did he asked if it was okay and I said yes, if I was allowed to touch me. He said "I'm not as exciting." What did he mean by this? I ended up just kind of rubbing him through his jeans ...
A. 22 May 2010: Ask him what he meant, only he knows. The warm liquid was probably your juices. The pain probably came from him being too rough with you.
Him already knowing you are a virgin, he wasn't sure if you'd been fingered before... as you are still a ... (read in full...)
He ended a four-year engangement because of paranoia
Q. MY boyfriend and i have been together for 4 years and have always had the perfect relationship, we even got engaged last october.it was so hard getting engaged because our families didnt want us to be together at first so we did everything to get ...
A. 22 May 2010: "and do what he wants like quit my job or not go to the gym because he is jealous and i was ok with that because im willing to give up everything for him because im happy with him sooo happy."
This is not okay. You may think so because you have... (read in full...)
Druggie ex has no interest in our baby
Q. Well me and my bf just broke up about a month ago and he is 18 im 15, and now im pregnant. i just told him like 2 weeks ago, and he says he doesnt want anything to do with it. I havent told my parents yet, he wont help, and on top of that he was a ...
A. 22 May 2010: Tell a school councellor. You are underage and he will get in serious trouble, and you will get the help you need. Talk to an adult now!... (read in full...)
Scared to get in contact with my old friends after everything that happened
Q. right, this is a really long story and im in dire need of help so please bare with me =) ok, here goes. . . all through highschool i was best mates with 2 amazing girls, jade and leah. in the last two years we had a fairly huge argument and w...
A. 22 May 2010: Take a shot at it and give it some time. They might not include you again right away but in time.
The worst that happens is that they don't wan to be friends, right? And as of this moment you aren't friends, so it's not like you have anything... (read in full...)
We share a foot fetish... we didn't do anything wrong did we?
Q. Hello, well I'm a 14 year old. And the thing is, I have a really good friend who's a girl (though not a girlfriend) and we visit each other often. One time when we were assigned on a school project and it was during our exams. She came to my house, ...
A. 21 May 2010: Yeah, I think she likes you back :)
What you did wasn't wrong. What people are afraid of when it comes to teenagers and sex (or what I am worried about) is pregnancies and STD's and emotions! Many are not emotionally ready for sex. But the most... (read in full...)
My job, car, and house suddenly don't seem good enough to ask for her hand!
Q. Hi, I am under a little bit of stress over my relationship. We have been together for 3 years and had plans real soon of asking for her hand; however all of the sudden my job, car and where I live gets brought up. Funny thing is that it wasn't ...
A. 21 May 2010: Have you lived together with her at any point? Has she lived on her own at any point? Excuse me for asking, but how old is she since she still lives at home? Consider that if she has no lived on her own before (paid rent and all thegroceries etc) ... (read in full...)
I cringe at compliments!
Q. There's this guy who likes me, and he constantly tells me how beautiful and amazing i am and how it's so good we have a lot in common, (music etc) However, i feel uncomfortable when people say things like that to me, im not sure why exactly,...
A. 21 May 2010: Well, I agree this guy can be moving on a bit too quickly (plus has no right to be angry with you over whom you dated before, you're not even dating him atm). As for the compliments, I don't know why that is. I know I used to feel the same way. I ... (read in full...)
He prioritises his sister over me!
Q. my boyfriend treats his sister more like a girlfriend than me. he buys her really expensive things and treats her all of the time, giving her spending money and he says he's going to go half with her for her tv, it's like it's his daughte...
A. 21 May 2010: I think you are jealous. And you don't agree with his money-spending. Accept that it is his money and he can buy what he wants and spend it on who he wants. I believe most people would rather buy their sibling a tv than their gf's/bf's. At le... (read in full...)
My job, car, and house suddenly don't seem good enough to ask for her hand!
Q. Hi, I am under a little bit of stress over my relationship. We have been together for 3 years and had plans real soon of asking for her hand; however all of the sudden my job, car and where I live gets brought up. Funny thing is that it wasn't ...
A. 21 May 2010: So, she is the one saying what you have is not good enough? Or is that something you feel yourself? After 3 years with you, do you think she feels you could do better? Or maybe she wants to settle down too and is checking how flexible you would be ... (read in full...)
"Online dating issues"
Q. "OPs own title"I decided to try the online dating. However, I am encountering the same problem over and over and wanted to know how others deal with it. The problem is about the amount of time taken by someone to reply. For example, this gu...
A. 21 May 2010: I dunno, but if it was me... if they can't be bothered to reply or ask questions/be interested in ME, then I don't bother either. Lots of boring guys you've run into, best of luck! Im sure someone more fun and interesting will come around.... (read in full...)
This "father figure" situation has gone too far....
Q. Hi, I have been dating a girl on an off that has only been living in the US for a few years. I myself have lived abroad for almost 2 decades. I tend to become a father figure to the girls I have dated and I don't mind it. I am not controlling, ...
A. 21 May 2010: Katy 1992 said it right. Find a change in YOU. Just because she lets you be a father figure.. why should you? This is ultimately something only you can chance. Whatever new girl you date, you will continue your habit of being the dad. Maybe you w... (read in full...)
Is lending him money a good enough reason to get married
Q. Hi All, Here's the situation. My SO and I have been in a relationship for nearly a year and a half. We've lived together for a year now and are preparing to go off to grad school this fall. The thing is, he's asked me to cover his living expenses...
A. 21 May 2010: Set up a contract so that he has to pay you back. Engaged or married or not, set up a contract. He has to pay you back. Then when you get married, sign a prenup and make sure these 10 000 are secured in your name. ... (read in full...)
Horrible rash on my legs
Q. Hi, this morning I shaved my legs in a hurry and stupidly did it without using any soap or cream...or anything but water and the razor. Consequently a now have a rash on my legs and it looks awful!! Needless to say, I haven't done that before and ...
A. 21 May 2010: Massage with lotion on and leave it for a while. The rdness goes away after some hours. If you need your legs to look perfect sooner, wear nylon stockings. I do that all the time... Im lazy and cheap and usually dont botehr buying the foam ... (read in full...)
Who do I trust, God or my friends?
Q. So I have been in a relationship with a gal for over 2 years. we agrued alot. till 2 months ago I stopped. after nearly 5 weeks of not fighting or arguing with her, she decided its over... My heart feels broken. Had dreams of mairrage ect.. I believ...
A. 21 May 2010: Could it be you are not listening to God, but to the hope in your heart, the love you have for her that refuses to believe it is over? At one point in life, God might have ment for you to trust her. Or he can mean to give her time, but then t... (read in full...)
Am I really that bad at sex?
Q. Almost two years ago i had this boyfriend and he had sex with so many other women. his penis was slightly smaller than average(but i have had small guys before so no biggie) and everytime we had sex he always complained about something. like when i ...
A. 21 May 2010: It was two years ago so why do you care what a an ex said? He doesn't sound like a nice guy, comparing a gf to an ex is the most offensive and dishonourable thing a man can say I think. He was rude to you. And most definitely had a compensation ... (read in full...)
Troubled marriage and I need space to think clearly!
Q. I don't know what to do. I've been married for 2 years; together for 7. I'm not happy with my husband anymore but I can bring myself to be committed to leaving. We've tried counseling and things didn't get better. His temper is out of control to ...
A. 21 May 2010: Its not fair that he's the only one trying? You call what he does trying? Being abusive, screaming and yelling, pushing you up against the wall and denying you the right to speak? You call that trying?? This man isn't trying. He wants to get another ... (read in full...)
How do I get out of this terrible, long term relationship?
Q. ok..here is it....i have been with this guy for about 11yrs now...things are not good....we are not married, because he says i have an bad attitude..oh well...he always has an excuse of why i have not gotten a ring after all this time....there have ...
A. 21 May 2010: I follow what others have said in similar situations: it is better for your child to have you happy than to have you miserable. I say leave. You are not married anyway so it's not like you promised him you'd stay. If he doesn't like it.. too ba... (read in full...)
Are there really guys who would stop watching porn if it really was a problem for me?
Q. I was wondering. It seems the general consensus on this website is that women who have problems with porn are insecure and that all men watch it and it's not fair to them to ask them to stop. However, I was wondering if it's fair in my case to ask. ...
A. 21 May 2010: Err, well I think your friend in that case was a bit on the defencive side. After all you weren't planning on dating HIM, so why he suddenly steps up as some "mans-right" defender is a bit beyond me. My guess is he loves porn and though of your ... (read in full...)
Will he break up with me if we don't have sex?
Q. hi aunties and uncles. my bf wants to have sex with me. we have been going out for a year now. i don't want to because I am too young - plus there is a chance I could get pregnant, so I said no to him. BUT, he keeps touching me and kissing me and ...
A. 21 May 2010: Maybe you really love him, but he doesnt really love you. Not as much as he hopes to get into your pants if he just nags about it long enough.
Tell him "no sex until there's a ring on this finger and I have a new last name!"... (read in full...)
I'm confused...could this have been a miscarriage?
Q. I have been in a relationship for just over 7 months now. Me and my boyfriend started haveing a sexual relationship after around 2 months and i have recently been put on the pill. while haveing been on the pill for a week One day after haveing sex ...
A. 21 May 2010: The hilarious part in all is that people go to strangers online for medical help...
No offence poster, Im not referring only to your post, people should always see their doctor. Asking online is alright, but it is scary to think that there mi... (read in full...)
Am I cheating on my boyfriend, or is this harmless fun?
Q. Im really confused! Ive been with my boyfriend for about 6 weeks and i really like him. Thing is ive been speaking to a guy online for about 18 months, and we've recently got back in touch, exchanged numbers and that. Am i cheating on my bo...
A. 21 May 2010: I define it like this: if you don't want to tell your boyfriend about it, and you don't feel you can be honest about it, then it is most definitely not right. If it is cheating or not, most people would say "no it isnt". Going behind his back... ... (read in full...)
Am I missing something here with my boyfriend, wedding rings and man code???
Q. Been with my b/f 5 years and we've discussed marriage in the near future, like this summer. We're not planning a big wedding, in fact we want to just elope in Vegas, no frills. I've been looking at rings (nothing elaborate or extremely expensive) ...
A. 21 May 2010: Yes. The deal was you pick a ring, he pays. You both picked and payed. He needs a ring too though, doesn't he? Offer to go with him for the lookout for a ring for him too?
A wedding is a womans deal, we pick and choose. But the guy wants to be in... (read in full...)
Are there really guys who would stop watching porn if it really was a problem for me?
Q. I was wondering. It seems the general consensus on this website is that women who have problems with porn are insecure and that all men watch it and it's not fair to them to ask them to stop. However, I was wondering if it's fair in my case to ask. ...
A. 21 May 2010: I think your issue with porn then is a multifaced one. I appologize for making this sound technical, whatever I say it is ultimately you who make the decisions and know what is rigth for you. But from how I see it... First off you have the obvious ... (read in full...)
Are there really guys who would stop watching porn if it really was a problem for me?
Q. I was wondering. It seems the general consensus on this website is that women who have problems with porn are insecure and that all men watch it and it's not fair to them to ask them to stop. However, I was wondering if it's fair in my case to ask. ...
A. 21 May 2010: A similar study was also performed to show that people were more inclined to fear terrorist attack if shown violent images of explosions, than if they were shows maps of where terrorist attacks had occurred.
TV people and commercials use this all... (read in full...)
She asked him if he would be hers when he came home! MY boyfriend!
Q. i am a college student and i put away all my fears and decided to trust my boyfriend, but recently while he was on face-book he began talking to this girl from his neighborhood,i was in his arms while he was talking to her, she started telling him ...
A. 21 May 2010: If you want to be in a relationship with him you need to trust him. If you can't trust him you should let him go. No need for you to get hurt over this girl though! Your boyfriend didn't flirt with her, and he said no. He can not control who throws ... (read in full...)
How much should one sacrfice for a pet?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm at my wits end and would greatly appreciate some input and opinions. My partner and I have been living together for 3 years, he is an absolutely wonderful boyfriend. Problem is he has a 12yr old epileptic dog, who has grand-mal ...
A. 21 May 2010: While I understand and personally believe a dog, or any pet of similar size, should be treated as more than a piece of furniture, no job is going to understand treating a dog like a child. Try getting support financially from the government because ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's best friend is driving me crazy!
Q. OK so my gf's best friend is driving me absolutely insane... she is extremely rude to me and insulting even after im always really nice to her. I tell my gf that her friend does this, she even does it in front of her, and she just tells her to ...
A. 21 May 2010: First off I think the friend might be jealous of her best friend having a boyfriend while she is single. Oh and if she isn't single I bet'cha she's unhappy about her own bf and is still jealous. Therefor trying to mess it up for you as much as ... (read in full...)
I am bi and have a homophobic family! Help!
Q. Hi, iam 14 yes old and am bi and I have a really homophobic family and I have not told them. How should I tell them? ...
A. 21 May 2010: I haven't told my family yet except for the ones closest to me, such as my brother and then close friends. I decided that I'd tell the rest of my family whenever I bring home a girlfriend. But so far I've only had boyfriends and see no need to ... (read in full...)
My husband's family are putting me in a cage!
Q. My husband is in afganistan doing a dangerous job ! and ever since he has gone he and his family have put me on lock down, I cant go out for a drink with my neighbor, im not alowed to go and see my old best mate because shes a bad influenc...
A. 20 May 2010: If your husband can't handle the "stress" of you having a lie if your own he deserves to live a complicated life. That is HIS issue, not yours. I can't stand men like this. Don't take it. Go out and do what YOU want. You are a free being, not ... (read in full...)
I slept with my teacher on impulse, what should I do now?
Q. Thanks for answering this, if it even gets posted! A few days ago whilst staying after school to talk to a teacher we got into a very deep conversation, he was telling me about his wife, we've always been closer than teacher and pupil as he helpe...
A. 20 May 2010: Have you never been in love before or had to get over someone before? Yes, there's a way. List up all the wrong things about this man, all the reasons not to be involved with him. Then use pure logic to convince yourself that he is bad for you (the ... (read in full...)
I slept with my teacher on impulse, what should I do now?
Q. Thanks for answering this, if it even gets posted! A few days ago whilst staying after school to talk to a teacher we got into a very deep conversation, he was telling me about his wife, we've always been closer than teacher and pupil as he helpe...
A. 19 May 2010: Avoid avoid avoid. You have an emotional connection with him mainly because you had a sexual connection with him. We women are wired that way. But you know yourself you must kill these feelings, they are only a product of his creation. He seduced ... (read in full...)
Are there really guys who would stop watching porn if it really was a problem for me?
Q. I was wondering. It seems the general consensus on this website is that women who have problems with porn are insecure and that all men watch it and it's not fair to them to ask them to stop. However, I was wondering if it's fair in my case to ask. ...
A. 19 May 2010: I am continuing my answer, I had to leave for a little but there are still a few things I'd like to say, refering to what others have said on here and your feedback. These men were bad to begin with, something was wrong in their heads and porn was ... (read in full...)
Are there really guys who would stop watching porn if it really was a problem for me?
Q. I was wondering. It seems the general consensus on this website is that women who have problems with porn are insecure and that all men watch it and it's not fair to them to ask them to stop. However, I was wondering if it's fair in my case to ask. ...
A. 19 May 2010: I am sorry for what happened to you. I can relate on a small scale, I dont mean to bring my own issue up to the same level as yours, but here's what I think. I wont date a guy who plays WoW, simply because I hate the game after dating an addict who ... (read in full...)
I slept with my teacher on impulse, what should I do now?
Q. Thanks for answering this, if it even gets posted! A few days ago whilst staying after school to talk to a teacher we got into a very deep conversation, he was telling me about his wife, we've always been closer than teacher and pupil as he helpe...
A. 15 May 2010: "What am I supposed to do because I kissed back etc so I am just as responsible "
No, you're not just as responsible. He is your teacher. He is responsible. He took advantage of you. Shut up about it if you dont want him to loose his job, or tell ... (read in full...)
I did everything he wanted and he still broke up with me
Q. Okay I started dating this guys five years ago, in the beggining he didnt want a relationship but after we became intimate,and i threatened to walk away if i dint get a title, he said lets be official. In the beggining my weight bothered him. I was ...
A. 13 May 2010: This man does NOT love you. Why do you think he asked you if you've lost weight, AFTER YOU BROKE UP?? Its because he wants to know if you look better so he can have sex with you. Because he feels great about himself knowing that if he can't find ... (read in full...)
I did everything he wanted and he still broke up with me
Q. Okay I started dating this guys five years ago, in the beggining he didnt want a relationship but after we became intimate,and i threatened to walk away if i dint get a title, he said lets be official. In the beggining my weight bothered him. I was ...
A. 11 May 2010: Stop talking to this man. He is confused, and honestly even if HE think you two have a future together, do YOU think you have a future together? Is he the best thing in your life, like he sometimes claimed you were?
This man didn't respect ... (read in full...)
He got cold feet and broke up with me!
Q. Dear cupid, I am 24 and my ex-bf is 22. We dated for about 3 months and everything was going great, until one day he broke up with me. We didn't speak for about a month after we broke up and recently we talked as friends. He opened up and told me ...
A. 6 May 2010: Look for someone more mature. Look for a man who can't wait to show you off, not a man who is scared of his own shadow.
He didn't sleep for 2 days? I find that so hard to believe, it sounds like he wants you to pity him.... (read in full...)
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