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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Is it too soon to ask him to leave his girlfriend for me?
Q. Okay, so There's this girl (let's call her..Rebecca). So a couple years ago, Rebecca started going out wit hone of my close friends (Tommy), and after a month or two him and I got closer. It eventually lead to us kissing, talking, and touching. Th...
A. 2 June 2010: Best of luck!... (read in full...)
I slept with my teacher on impulse, what should I do now?
Q. Thanks for answering this, if it even gets posted! A few days ago whilst staying after school to talk to a teacher we got into a very deep conversation, he was telling me about his wife, we've always been closer than teacher and pupil as he helpe...
A. 24 May 2010: First or last, I think he has prooven his ability to do this... and why should you believe him?... (read in full...)
My husband's family are putting me in a cage!
Q. My husband is in afganistan doing a dangerous job ! and ever since he has gone he and his family have put me on lock down, I cant go out for a drink with my neighbor, im not alowed to go and see my old best mate because shes a bad influenc...
A. 20 May 2010: If your husband can't handle the "stress" of you having a lie if your own he deserves to live a complicated life. That is HIS issue, not yours. I can't stand men like this. Don't take it. Go out and do what YOU want. You are a free being, not ... (read in full...)
If my boyfriend likes anal does this mean he might be gay?
Q. I have been dating my bf for about 8 months and he is super sweet. A few nights ago while we were just cuddling watching a movie out of new where he ask me if I would try anal sex , he has done it before with his ex gf and said he really liked it. I ...
A. 20 May 2010: No, him liking anal sex does NOT mean he might be gay. Gay men aren't gay because they love anal, they are gay because they like other MEN. He is into WOMEN and female butts... ... (read in full...)
I love her too much to let her go!
Q. As suggested by a previous reader, i told the girl i have a crush on about my feelings for her. But she said that she does not feel the same about me. Now i am in a real dilemma. I love her too much to let her go. Please tell me what i can do to win ...
A. 20 May 2010: Respect her "no". Let her go. You can, just give it time and do not obsess about her. You will only end up scaring her away if you push this matter. If its meant to be it will happen in time.... (read in full...)
I slept with my teacher on impulse, what should I do now?
Q. Thanks for answering this, if it even gets posted! A few days ago whilst staying after school to talk to a teacher we got into a very deep conversation, he was telling me about his wife, we've always been closer than teacher and pupil as he helpe...
A. 20 May 2010: Have you never been in love before or had to get over someone before? Yes, there's a way. List up all the wrong things about this man, all the reasons not to be involved with him. Then use pure logic to convince yourself that he is bad for you (the ... (read in full...)
Feel so disrespected and used but can't get out of the relationship
Q. My boyfriend and i have always had problems in the bedroom and it's getting to the point where i feel very disrespected by him and as if he has unrealistic expectations of me. I feel trapped in this relationship and anxious when left alone in a ...
A. 20 May 2010: You should still go to your classes. If he can't accept the breakup and turns violent you contact the police. You can also contact a professor at your school IF he has turned violent, and say that you fear for your security in classes. Perhaps they ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend says I'm embarrasing!
Q. I don't dance. I don't drink. But I'm a girly-girl, I love to go out and have fun with my friends and him. Today I asked him how come you never take me clubbing?" we been together 2 years. He had the audacity to say to me "out of all the people I...
A. 20 May 2010: Dancing in the bar doesn't mean getting felt up does it? I sure hope not, that would be tragic as I love dancing... But I've heard in certain areas that can be a problem!
What about the fun of company you bring, conversations, laughing? And you ... (read in full...)
How do I tell him not to eat my face when he kisses me?
Q. Kissing advice... Recently me and this guy hooked up, we'd liked each other for a while and only really had the confidence to share out feelings when a bit drunk, I know it's sad!! Anyway he is an awful kisser, he pretty much "eats my face" and ...
A. 20 May 2010: Eating her face I guess can mean two things, LonelyTwo. Either he is sucking all over her face from chin to eyebrows (had that happening once... urgh.. wet experience), or he is trying to do what my ex did and flick his tongue just as if he was ... (read in full...)
How do I tell him not to eat my face when he kisses me?
Q. Kissing advice... Recently me and this guy hooked up, we'd liked each other for a while and only really had the confidence to share out feelings when a bit drunk, I know it's sad!! Anyway he is an awful kisser, he pretty much "eats my face" and ...
A. 19 May 2010: ps. I had a bf once who kissed me like if he was licking my p¤ssy. I got him shaped up with time, and I didn't even tell him anything. I would just stop when he started the tongue flickering, and then kiss him back the way I liked to be kissed. He ... (read in full...)
How do I tell him not to eat my face when he kisses me?
Q. Kissing advice... Recently me and this guy hooked up, we'd liked each other for a while and only really had the confidence to share out feelings when a bit drunk, I know it's sad!! Anyway he is an awful kisser, he pretty much "eats my face" and ...
A. 19 May 2010: If you're a good kisser its probably because you have good lips and you know how to use them! People can have nice lips and be aweful kissers...
Tell your new guy you prefer a different way of kissing, and then show him how you like it.
Do not ... (read in full...)
Feel so disrespected and used but can't get out of the relationship
Q. My boyfriend and i have always had problems in the bedroom and it's getting to the point where i feel very disrespected by him and as if he has unrealistic expectations of me. I feel trapped in this relationship and anxious when left alone in a ...
A. 19 May 2010: ""Get used to it" "other girls like it" "stop making a fuss""
Then he can go get it elsewhere. Kick him to the curb.
"now I just feel like a human toilet."
I would too. You are perfectly normal. Dump him hard and fast! If he cries and lo... (read in full...)
Pregnant and happy about that, but my family are really unhappy I'm not married!
Q. Dear Agony Aunts, Late last year, after many problems, I had an operation on my ovaries. They found cysts on both ovaries - a few other things besides. They said the damage was such that my chances of conceiving a child was very very slim. I hav...
A. 19 May 2010: Be happy. Your family are the ones who sulks about you not being married. Thats THEIR issue, not yours. You should feel no need to be unhappy about it as you have every right to be feeling great! Congratulations! I wish you all the best and if its ... (read in full...)
He's married but he still wants to sleep with me.
Q. ok...so i have been talking to my ex-boyfriend who is married and he keeps begging me to sleep with him again....apparently he doesnt care that he is married if he still trying to sleep with me. When we were togeher our sex was outstanding....he ...
A. 19 May 2010: He's not acting like he wants to be your friend, so I believe your options here is to sleep with him and be his mistress (which is pretty low) or cut him off.
I'd go with option number 2. His failed marriage is his problem, and you don't want it ... (read in full...)
Tricky nipple hair situation, what do I do?
Q. My girlfriend is dark haired, sometimes she gets dark hairs around her nipple region, how to I go about this because it is sometimes hard to concentrate during foreplay? Thank you...
A. 19 May 2010: Grab at her breasts instead of licking them, or suggest that she picks them away because you get them in your mouth. Or focus on other parts of her body.... (read in full...)
I slept with my teacher on impulse, what should I do now?
Q. Thanks for answering this, if it even gets posted! A few days ago whilst staying after school to talk to a teacher we got into a very deep conversation, he was telling me about his wife, we've always been closer than teacher and pupil as he helpe...
A. 19 May 2010: Avoid avoid avoid. You have an emotional connection with him mainly because you had a sexual connection with him. We women are wired that way. But you know yourself you must kill these feelings, they are only a product of his creation. He seduced ... (read in full...)
He needs my help, now he wont reply when I said lost his email add
Q. I am talking to my ex again after months of bitterness towards each other. We broke up a yr ago. To move on from the heartbreak, I deleted him in EVERY online connection I have with him..chat, fb etc. It was effective because I have never memor...
A. 19 May 2010: It doesnt matter what reasons he has to not reply.. yet. He might be replying later, that he got busy, or he found a job on his own, or whatever. It is of no relevance why. What you need to do is try and not focus so hard on this. You are right, he ... (read in full...)
Is it safe to make this fantasy come true?
Q. Hey, is it safe to make the "rape" fantasy come true? Me and my boyfriend want to give it a try its both of are fantasies, but i dont want any thing to go wrong or be awkward after it happens, do you just go back right after into being the lovey ...
A. 19 May 2010: A little more for those who do not wish to follow links or google this (for general purpose):
There are several safety issues to consider when playing bondage games, concerning consent, abuse, and physical injuries. If you don't feel safe with som... (read in full...)
Is it safe to make this fantasy come true?
Q. Hey, is it safe to make the "rape" fantasy come true? Me and my boyfriend want to give it a try its both of are fantasies, but i dont want any thing to go wrong or be awkward after it happens, do you just go back right after into being the lovey ...
A. 19 May 2010: Be sure to have a safe word. Maybe read up on bondage pages on rules and how-to's. I have a girlfriend who did this with her boyfriend and they didn't have a safe word and he really hurt and scared her.
Only do this if you trust your boyfrien... (read in full...)
Dreading the upcoming conversation about anal sex!
Q. Hi there, I just read a question where the guy was worried his girlfriend was lying when she said she had never had anal sex before....I'm about to be that girlfriend. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months now and I really really love him. We ...
A. 19 May 2010: If he doesn't ask don't tell. If he asks say "are you sure you want to know?" and then be honest and say it happened once before. Do NOT go into detail. Saying you've done it once before is sufficient.
"Even if he doesn't ask me I feel like it ... (read in full...)
My husband crossdresses . . . help!
Q. I found out about 2 years ago that my husband is somewhat of a crossdresser. We have been married for 15 years. He said he's been doing it since adolescence. First part of our marriage I would find underwear, garters and he always would lie and ...
A. 19 May 2010: Thats great! I am glad to hear that you can both enjoy this, and that is absolutely the best option. However I will suggest you buy him his own stack of clothes and underwear so he doesn't stretch out/use yours. More hygenic, better fit for him, you ... (read in full...)
I think I have met the "one" but he is the only person I have ever slept with, and now I am thinking I need to get a few flings out of my system!
Q. Hey guys, i've been with my boyfriend for over a year now, i honestly beleive he's my soulmate. Totally crazy about eachother, he's the man i want to marry and have children with. Thing is, i've only ever slept with one person, him. And he slept ...
A. 19 May 2010: The grass is not greener on the other side and you are not missing out on anything. But thats hard for you to know since you haven't experiened how little it matters. The number of sexual partners you've had matter none at all. What matters in ... (read in full...)
I wonder if I should be more open to sex, after my rape experience?
Q. Hi I am 18 and was a virgin until I was raped a few months ago by a man that attacked me on the street. I do not count him as a sexual partner obviously, but it has kind of changed my attitude towards sex and my virginity. I am not desperate to los...
A. 19 May 2010: No no no no... What you need to do is get help and therapy to get over the attack and what happened to you. What you don't need to do is start sleeping around. What difference will that make? A rape and then a bunch of shitty sex with people you ... (read in full...)
Is it too soon to ask him to leave his girlfriend for me?
Q. Okay, so There's this girl (let's call her..Rebecca). So a couple years ago, Rebecca started going out wit hone of my close friends (Tommy), and after a month or two him and I got closer. It eventually lead to us kissing, talking, and touching. Th...
A. 19 May 2010: So, you like cheaters. I must say I honestly think you can do better than be the second dish to some lousy guy who disrespects his gf. Poor Rebecca winded up with cheaters, thats honestly not YOUR fault. I say ditch this new guy. If he likes you so ... (read in full...)
My husband crossdresses . . . help!
Q. I found out about 2 years ago that my husband is somewhat of a crossdresser. We have been married for 15 years. He said he's been doing it since adolescence. First part of our marriage I would find underwear, garters and he always would lie and ...
A. 19 May 2010: This is a sexual fetish and desire of his that he is ashamed of. Hence he hides it. Try to investigate it more, look up cross-dressing online or in libraries. Then talk to him about it. Does the thought disgust you? Or are you open to accept it? If ... (read in full...)
Will my mother be this way as long as I live at home? My girlfriend is scared to meet her!
Q. ok, im 23, moved back home while I finish my last year of college, and my girlfriend of 4 months is 24. she has her own place, and bc we don't get to see each other very much through the week (im in school, she's at work) i like to stay overnight on ...
A. 19 May 2010: I suggest your girlfriend meets your mother when you and your girlfriend are ready, first off. It doesn't sound like she is, and for many it takes anywhere from 6 months to a year to take that next step. A 4 month old relationship is still ... (read in full...)
Parents Versus Boyfriend! Help!!!
Q. Im in love with my boyfriend of 8 months, hes gorgeous, smart, funny, polite, he doesn't do drugs, hes never been in trouble with the police and yet even after all this hes still not good enough for my mum and step dad. He isn't allowed to my house ...
A. 19 May 2010: Sounds like you have a great guy though! Too bad your mom can't see it the same way, but I think thats her loss for being so judgemental.... (read in full...)
Sex issue. Would counselling help?
Q. *OP's suggested title* My wife and I are both 50. We have been married for about 25 years and she has always tried to give me the impression that she only has a passing interest in sex. Even when we were dating, sex was a bit hit and miss. Sex alwa...
A. 19 May 2010: Go to bed at the same time as her. Then find reasons for her to be up in the morning at the same time as you. Or simply, if she keeps denying that she uses it, take it away from her. I mean if she denies using it that often, she shouldn't be ... (read in full...)
She's not sure if she wants this relationship! What should I do?
Q. Hi all, Me and my partner have been going out for two years now and have a lovely 6 month old baby girl, we have had a rough two years together and recently we broke up because my partner was not in love with me anymore and i dont blame her...
A. 19 May 2010: The only advice I can give is just to go at it slow. Don't try and fix everything at once or become a "happy family" overnight. With time, her family may accept you again. When she is unsure of where this goes, don't invest too much at once. Don't ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to feel this way after performing oral sex?
Q. im 18 years old and today was the first day i had oral sex. i gave a blow job to my boyfriend. i have never done anything like that before. but now i feel my legs like jello and i wasnt even on my knees. i dont know i just feel really weird and ...
A. 19 May 2010: No, its not normal per se. But like Tisha said, you could have had trouble breathing properly during it, or maybe it was such an experience for you you got a kick out of it.
Maybe it was the position you were in and you got too much blood to... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and allowed to date older guys, but how do I explain to people like my family he's 28?!
Q. I really need some help!! I've fallen for a 28 year old guy and i'm 16. i've liked him since we were 14 and we joked we would get together. now im 16 I really want to date him and get to know him as a boyfriend. He's fine with it, its just I'm ...
A. 19 May 2010: You can't "explain" it. There's no magic concerning his age, nothing to be explained really. You fell in love with an adult man who is into little girls and everyone will undoubtly view this with a bunch of criticism. But, age difference aside, if ... (read in full...)
Love Triangle! BF & Father's Girlfriend's Son! Help!
Q. my mum and my dad got a divorce about 4 years ago, since then my dad has had this girlfriend for about the past year, and ive been going to see him regularly, and ive been getting to know his girl friends son. hes only a couple of year older than me ...
A. 19 May 2010: Make up your mind. No one can tell you what you feel for either or. But what you can't do is wingle between both. If this first guy and you have kissed while he was in a relationship with a girl (you said they've been together for years) then he is ... (read in full...)
Parents Versus Boyfriend! Help!!!
Q. Im in love with my boyfriend of 8 months, hes gorgeous, smart, funny, polite, he doesn't do drugs, hes never been in trouble with the police and yet even after all this hes still not good enough for my mum and step dad. He isn't allowed to my house ...
A. 19 May 2010: Blah. Parents. She's picking the wrong side here if you ask me, she should be supportive of you and not just side with the step-dad when there's no reason for them not to like your boyfriend. Your step-dad has an issue, and for whatever reasons your ... (read in full...)
Hair Dilemma
Q. my boyfriends mum really wants her to do her hair for a wedding she has soon. she has short white blonde hair with no apparent fringe. she said she would like her hair up and curly. im not good with hair and i have no idea what style to do and what ...
A. 19 May 2010: Tell her no. Or, tell her you are not good with hair and that it will be on her own risk. Then get a hold of pictures of styles she likes and try to copy it.
If she wants it curled and up I suggest you get a hold of a curler and a bunch of hair ... (read in full...)
I was wondering about sexual fantasies.
Q. Hey :) I was just thinking about all the diffrent types of sexual fantasies there are. I was wondering if any one prefers there partner to have a certain one? (if there is would you mind saying what it is)like one you love hearing about from your ...
A. 19 May 2010: You can't make up fantasies. Either you have them or you dont. And the same fantasy that turns one person on can totally turn off others. It is risky to "invent" a fantasy just to please someone and then find that they dislike this fantasy. And as ... (read in full...)
When is it appropriate to date one of your best friend's ex?
Q. When is it appropriate to date one of your best friend's ex? ...
A. 19 May 2010: Or, when the best friend gives permission and is still ok with it after 2 months of consideration. So: ask, wait, and then possibly abort mission.
Or it could go like carrot said, and you'll need to find a new best friend as the best friend m... (read in full...)
I need a therapist for a couple of issues but don't think my parents will be okay with it!
Q. Okay, I feel desparate to see a Therapist because I'm going through a rough patch in my life from discovering that I'm gay and being bullied because of my weight and too much to handle but I can't really go about it with my parents they think I will ...
A. 19 May 2010: Talk to your school councellor or school nurse. They set me up with a therapist without my parents even being notified. ... (read in full...)
Will my mother be this way as long as I live at home? My girlfriend is scared to meet her!
Q. ok, im 23, moved back home while I finish my last year of college, and my girlfriend of 4 months is 24. she has her own place, and bc we don't get to see each other very much through the week (im in school, she's at work) i like to stay overnight on ...
A. 19 May 2010: All of what will stop? She only asked to see your girlfriend once, and then said it was your call. 4 months is a little early in to present a girlfriend to parents in my opinion, and I can understand why your girlfriend doesnt want to meet your ... (read in full...)
He cried when he found out his ex had a new boyfriend!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for six months and we really like each other. There's only one problem. He keeps bringing up his ex. They were together for 8 months and he still has pictures of her on his phone and computer and talk on ...
A. 19 May 2010: Well, there is hope that since he was only with her for 8 months and cared for her this much, he will care for you just as much in about two more months.
I suggest you get down and serious with him. Ask him whats up with his crying over the ex. ... (read in full...)
I disagree with my parents view on arranged marriage
Q. My parents are strictly orthodox and believe in arranged marriages. I love them a lot. I'm not that pretty either. I have two secret crushes, both of them complicated. Crush 1 I have been sent to an all girls school but we interact with the ...
A. 19 May 2010: I bet you in some years neither crushes will be of any interest to you. But stand up for what you believe in. Find true love.
I understand thought that in many cases of arranged marriages, the couple get to meet each other and see if they acc... (read in full...)
A very complicated mess with my wife, the girl I lost my virginity to, my best friend and now the boy I have found out is my son......
Q. When I was in school I was on the swim team. We had an away meet which was the regional meet so the school put us up in a hotel. This wasn't chapperoned very well and I went to the room of some girls from a school that was from a rival school in ...
A. 19 May 2010: Dear poster, did you read up on paternity fraud? Your dear brother in law can, if you are prooved to be this young mans father, sue you for a lot of money. You can also sue your sister in law for this. I suggest you contact a lawyer and get some ... (read in full...)
H'es giving up because legally I'm still married!
Q. Ive been dating a guy for 6 months and we both have told eachother that were falling in love with one another. I am still married and have been seperated from my husband for over a year. I just found out our marriage is not going to be final for ...
A. 19 May 2010: Why are you still sleeping with your husband? If you are separated do you not need to stay away from him in order to be allowed divorce? And if you want the marriage to end so badly, why are you still sleeping with your husband? Maybe that is what ... (read in full...)
He doesn't know what love is!
Q. My live in boyfriend of a few years and I have been fighting a lot lately. It's over stuff that, as his girlfriend, I don't want to know about. Nothing bad, just typical boy stuff. Seperately we could deal with it, but it's been a few things i...
A. 19 May 2010: He's insecure and immature. My ex's gave me that same line after a year together. One I was living with at the time, and we broke up over his "Im not sure if I love you" comment. The other was the one who suggested we moved in together, but before ... (read in full...)
I slept with my teacher on impulse, what should I do now?
Q. Thanks for answering this, if it even gets posted! A few days ago whilst staying after school to talk to a teacher we got into a very deep conversation, he was telling me about his wife, we've always been closer than teacher and pupil as he helpe...
A. 15 May 2010: "What am I supposed to do because I kissed back etc so I am just as responsible "
No, you're not just as responsible. He is your teacher. He is responsible. He took advantage of you. Shut up about it if you dont want him to loose his job, or tell ... (read in full...)
A very complicated mess with my wife, the girl I lost my virginity to, my best friend and now the boy I have found out is my son......
Q. When I was in school I was on the swim team. We had an away meet which was the regional meet so the school put us up in a hotel. This wasn't chapperoned very well and I went to the room of some girls from a school that was from a rival school in ...
A. 14 May 2010: This is called paternity fraud and the OP is not a sperm donor. He's been robbed of the chance to be a father to this boy, and his brother-in-law has been robbed as well, both of his money and of his son. Laws concerning paternity fraud vary from ... (read in full...)
A very complicated mess with my wife, the girl I lost my virginity to, my best friend and now the boy I have found out is my son......
Q. When I was in school I was on the swim team. We had an away meet which was the regional meet so the school put us up in a hotel. This wasn't chapperoned very well and I went to the room of some girls from a school that was from a rival school in ...
A. 13 May 2010: She begged you not to tell, that doesnt pin you down in any way. You have no obligation to do as she says. She has lied and deceived you and your brother-in-law. A part of it is your own fault, for not using protection. But she should have told YOU ... (read in full...)
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These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
