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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Does this mean he will abuse me if we start dating?
Q. im 16 and the guy im talking to is 17. he seems really nice and we had a class together when i was a freshman. im a junior now. well he moved last year but is returning to my school this year. ive heard bad things about him tho. he dated a girl in ...
A. 4 September 2010: Im sorry I misread a part, I thought you write that HE had told stories about how he beat her up, not that this was stories from the ex. I agree with The Realist in this case.... (read in full...)
Does this mean he will abuse me if we start dating?
Q. im 16 and the guy im talking to is 17. he seems really nice and we had a class together when i was a freshman. im a junior now. well he moved last year but is returning to my school this year. ive heard bad things about him tho. he dated a girl in ...
A. 4 September 2010: A feature of abusive relationships is that they last even though one partner is being abused. And the abused often end up going back, simply because they are being controlled in such a way, and loose their strength. It is brainwashing. And it is not ... (read in full...)
Am I reading him right? Is he flirting?
Q. I am new at all of this since my husband died early this year. I guess I just do not know how to read men and if something is "flirting" or not. So like I said, I have been through quite a rough patch losing my husband unexpectedly in February and ...
A. 4 September 2010: not sure if it is flirting, but he sure is close to overstepping some boundaries. if he was single, this could be a friendly chatting that could turn to flirting if you engaged in it, but it could also just be friendly. maybe he acts this way to be ... (read in full...)
Ovulation on the pill?
Q. if i ovulate while on the pill am i still protected?...
A. 4 September 2010: While you are on your pill you are always protected. As long as you eat your pill every single day as you should. You are fully protected the days you go off the pill for your period (a false one as such) as long as you have taken all the previous ... (read in full...)
I've been secretly dating an older guy. Should I tell my parents?
Q. i really like this older guy and we have been secretly together for the past 7 months but my sadly i am not allowed to date. should i tell my parents? how do i keep this older guy interested in only me and no other girl?...
A. 3 September 2010: If he really cares about you then he will not be interested in any other girl. If he is just with you for sex then he is likely to stray.
Can I ask what precisely you mean by "keeping him interested"? It is not a typical scenario. If he likes yo... (read in full...)
I'm having problems giving my boyfriend a nickname!
Q. I'm having problems giving my boyfriend a nickname and I don't want it to be too common but I don't it be really weird......
A. 3 September 2010: I think nicknames are things that ought to come naturally. Not everyone fits a nickname either.
And when it comes to nicknames between couples, they are often best kept private. No one wants to know if you call your boyfriend "cutie putie". ... (read in full...)
My fiance of 5 years has just left me, is there any way to make me feel better?
Q. I've been dumped by my fiancé of five years. Is there anything anyone could suggest that might make people feel better?...
A. 2 September 2010: Buy expensive boots that you have always wanted but never could afford. And then get a new hairstyle. And top it all off with a vacation to the tropics. Well thats what I did anyways and it did help. I let the travel company just put me in whatever ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant by my younger b/f, I don't want him, or the baby.
Q. need help fast! I am a 30 year old female and have a boyfriend that is 21 I just found out i was pregnant he doesn't no yet because I didn't want this to happen he already made it clear that he want's a baby by me but lately I have been having a ...
A. 2 September 2010: You can leave him and still have the child. I think in round one you should decide what you want to do with the pregnancy. Are you against abortion? In adoption an option? The growing life inside of you takes priority over your feelings towards your ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is the kind of guy I need but not what I want
Q. Gosh...i dont know what to do. I like my boyfriend and hes cool, but i question our relationship. I LOVE talking to him on the phone but sometimes on like Facebook or something i always avoid him and i dont know why. My friends are always telling me ...
A. 2 September 2010: There is a third option: being single! What is it with young girls these days, they seem to think they have to be with a man no matter what? There is more to life than boys and men. If you don't want to be with your boyfriend and don't want to be ... (read in full...)
What is her problem? I have never seen this side to her before!
Q. I got married recently and I really regret inviting an ex colleague of mine which I thought was a friend! Since I've been back from honeymoon all she has done is slag off my wedding, not only to me but to some mutual friends and god knows who e...
A. 2 September 2010: It could still be jealousy. Even if she doesn't believe in marriage, clearly it is not your husband she envies you! Or else she would have complained about him and not everything else. She could be jealous of your dress, your beauty, your money, ... (read in full...)
How does a single sexually inexperienced 20 year old lesbian start dating?
Q. How does a single sexually inexperienced 20 y/o lesbian female meet other lesbian females? I know it sounds silly, but I honestly do not know how to start dating. I am a 20 y/o female with no sexual experience (virgin) with males or females. ...
A. 2 September 2010: Alright, I have been in the same boat/are in the same boat. As a bisexual I have often ended up in relationships with men just because they come along a lot easier, and I fall in love. I know it is tricky to find the right women. Or women at all!
... (read in full...)
Why have I been like this?
Q. Hello! So! The Summer is ending. And A lot of stuff has happened. And I've been EXTREMELY moody. And on top of that, I haven't been taking my Depression pills for a LONG time. I stopped taking them in March. I don't think I need them. Right n...
A. 2 September 2010: Why do you have your pills in the first place? Are you sure these problems you are experiencing, and this isolation of yourself, the moody feelings... are you sure these are not all things that will go away once you start taking your medication ... (read in full...)
My first time having sex! advice please!
Q. Me and my girl were thinking about having sex for the first time. We are both in our 20s. Both of us are virgins so we are new to this. So we plan to be safe about this so I was going to buy some condoms, but I have no idea what size to get. My ...
A. 2 September 2010: Your size will hurt her, but anything will be painful for her as it is her first time. Next I will say something that I wont say again so remember this!!! It is NOT size that matters. She will be satisfied if you have the right moves, makes her feel ... (read in full...)
He ended it, but now he wants to get back together - on HIS terms. What should I do?
Q. I've been in a long term, long-distance relationship with a guy who basically controls me. I can't do anything without him knowing, he HAS to know what I'm thinking and why I'm thinking that and I'm not allowed to go near any other guy, which is ...
A. 2 September 2010: You move on to something better, that is what you do. Or tell him that the only way to get back together will be on YOUR terms. Which I can promise you he will never be able to do, because as time has shown he lives only for himself and his own ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to have sex with a prostitute? I'm married.
Q. I love my wife, and have never cheated on her, and have no fantasies about doing so in the future. However, what if your wife just flat out refuses to do something that you are curious about? What if you want to experience a threesome at lea...
A. 1 September 2010: You made this choice, not your wife. YOU were the one who decided to get married.To her. If anal sex was so important to you you should have discussed it before getting married. I suggest you get some new perspective on life. No you do not need to ... (read in full...)
I thought I never wanted to have children until now, but I am in a relationship with a man who does not want kids. Is this just a case of wanting what you cannot have?
Q. I have never wanted children. In fact I made a conscious choice not to have any in my late teens and now I am in my late twenties. For the past three years I have been in a relationship with a man who also doesn't want children as he has grown son ...
A. 1 September 2010: I think you should talk to your man about this. Yes it is quite possible that now that you have found out it may be hard to conceive, you are thinking more about children and want one. To me that is a natural reaction, perhaps you are scared you ... (read in full...)
I have a son with my married lover and now he has cut off all communication with us since his wife found out about the affair!
Q. i have had a lover for 28 years. he has 3 sons with his wife and 1 son with me. i stayed away from him for about 6 years and now he has come back into my life. i am 55 and no one ever wanted to date me. except him. Anyway his wife just found out ...
A. 1 September 2010: I think your son would be better off without contact with his father as it is a very unstable relationship, and like you said, the father only have contact with your son if you remain his lover. That must feel terrible for your son. I think if your ... (read in full...)
15 years ago we slept together but now he wont?
Q. We spent two seperate nights together years ago, nothing happened just a fumble, I knew he fancied me then and the feeling was mutual. 15 years after the fumble I saw him again the first night we walked and talked he was sweet, but we slept alone. ...
A. 31 August 2010: All I can say for sure is that 15 years down the road can change people. People tend to mature for most part, and maybe he doesn't want to repeat himself. From this viewpoint there can be a good reason why he didn't sleep with you, and a bad one. ... (read in full...)
Do you have sympathy for a person who can't have sex?
Q. Do you have sympathy for a person who can't have sex? That is to say somebody who for whatever reason has been unable to obtain sexual activity. Are you able to have concern for the impact such a situation would have on a person?...
A. 28 August 2010: Yes, I would have sympathy for such a person, but I believe it is a sympathy that is hard to show because of it being such a personal problem. But to myself, and to others around me, I could say that I feel sorry for them. To the person who actually ... (read in full...)
Concern about my foreskin...advice needed!
Q. This is a bit awkard but, here goes... I noticed that when i was getting an erection my foreskin wasnt retracting to reveal the bell end. So, over the past few days, I've been gently pulling it back until it hurts and can now pull it back to behin...
A. 28 August 2010: I am not sure if I understand as Im not that familiar with foreskin issues. But I have heard several others complain about a tight foreskin that can hurt if pulled back, or simply wont pull back at all. The foreskin should be loose enough for you to ... (read in full...)
Will she ever be able to end her abusive relationship for good?
Q. She is 19, studying and her bf is 22 and is working. She's in a unhealthy relationship with him for almost 5 years. She told me she broke up but patched back with him countless times, he's very possessive, she has cried and emotionally hurt so many ...
A. 28 August 2010: I think she will need real support from good friends if she is to be able to break loose from this man and relationship. I think the best thing you can do is support her and try and talk sense to her, and be her fiend. When she gets to the point ... (read in full...)
Is a single 16 yr old who kisses 2 or 3 guys at different times considered easy?
Q. Dear Cupid.! Is a single 16 yr old who kisses 2 or 3 guys at different times considered easy? i personally think not but alot of people disagree with me so i want your opinion please. Remember she's single but she messes around with ALOT of guys. ...
A. 27 August 2010: Messing around with a lot of guys is considered easy, but 2-3 guys are not considered to be "a lot". 10-20 guys and we are talking a lot. 2-3 is not even a handful. It hardly counts. And if it is about one guy a month it doesn't matter, but if she ... (read in full...)
How do you catch STD's from oral sex?
Q. as concerns oral sex, of which cases below does the infection occur; a) when act done by a infected person b) when uninfected person does it c) both. Am worried. An infected person did it to me yet am negative. it only took 5 minutes...
A. 24 August 2010: If only one person is infected the previously not infected person will get infected. The time period I think is irrelevant, as there is no set time limit for how fast infection occurs.
In some cases, depending on the STD, you need to wait wee... (read in full...)
Is it too early to start talking Marriage??
Q. Hey everyone i have a dilemma when i was in the 5th grade i met my first love we broke up in sixth grade and started back talking in high school about 3years ago but he was very conceited and stuck up now we are both 20 and now he have a daughter ...
A. 24 August 2010: That is way to early. Whatever happened before high school does not count, you were still just kids then. So what he is more mature, you need to mature as well, and you need to have a proper relationship, which you don't. One month of happiness does ... (read in full...)
Could she be lying about how many men she has slept with?
Q. I need help with a question that's been floating around in my mind. I'm very much in love with my girlfriend and we've been dating for about 1 1/2 years now. We recently got engaged. Here's the issue... My girlfriend/fiancé is from a very smal...
A. 24 August 2010: Oh by heavens. She went on dates with a total of 22 men. It could have been one date and thats it, or two dates and thats it... But you seem to WANT to hear that she slept with all of them. And yes you DO make her sound like a slut when she is far ... (read in full...)
My weird fantasy...
Q. I have got this fantasy that I want to kiss a girl (I'm a girl too). I'm not a lesbian and I'm not bi. I'm rather curious. I mentioned this to my bf a couple of times and I made it seem as a joke, he told me that this would be cheating and that he ...
A. 24 August 2010: Your boyfriend is right, that would be cheating. That means that while you are with your boyfriend you can not kiss another person, man or woman. If your urge to kiss another girl is very strong, break up with your boyfriend and explore a little. If ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to get pregnant when your not ovulating??
Q. me and a friend were fooling around two days ago and i gave him a blow job and then he went and wiped his penis and then a while after that he fingered me, but not untill after did he realise that he didnt wash his hands so i started to panic, then ...
A. 19 August 2010: Sperm dies outside of the body, it can only live for maybe a few minutes. If he fingered you a little while afterwards, there is little and no chance of pregnancy. If his finger was dry before he put his finger in you, then whatever sperm had been ... (read in full...)
Does this virgin have the equipment to satisfy her?
Q. dear cupid, i've been going out with her for a month now. she has invited me to stay the night with her. but i'm nervous that my penis will not be big engouh for her. i'm 6inches when i'm erected and the girth is 1.5 and i have still got my forskin. ...
A. 14 August 2010: Hey, if the woman truly cared about you and loved you, she would have the patience to help you get through your nerves. Janice was not for you. Find a woman who wants a meaningful relationship and take your time to get to know each other and fall in ... (read in full...)
I don't like sex at all!
Q. I don't like sex at all because I have sustained testicular trauma in early adolescence. I don't like to think about it, even if its a constant reality for me. In what ways to you think that this impairs my life to a level that is significant?...
A. 14 August 2010: Exactly what do you mean by "mutual enjoyment"??? If you can please a woman but not come yourself, what is wrong with that?? Then you might be able to have a full cmpanionship, if you can give a woman what she needs, and she can give you what you ... (read in full...)
How can we stop our arguments turning nasty and spiteful?
Q. Hi everyone, last time I posted a question here i got some good, helpful, nonjudgmental help so have decided to seek out some more advice. Basically, I have been with my boyfriend for the past two years now. Overall I would say our relationship is ...
A. 12 August 2010: What is the case here is not an immature relationship as such, but a couple of hot-heads. One hot-head and a calmer person results in calmer fights, but could be just as difficult as one easily will over-ride the other. A couple where both are calm ... (read in full...)
I feel like I went too fast with everything...
Q. Eight years ago, I married the man of my dreams (we had been together for over two years by then). We were both 22 and still in the process of getting our Associate's degrees. Seven years ago, we had our first children (fraternal twins); they wer...
A. 12 August 2010: Wait with the 5th child perhaps? Maybe one of you could focus on the masters at a time, while the other works, or how exactly are you doing this? Because both parents being students you couldn't possibly afford all the children?
I don't know if ... (read in full...)
I want my wife to perform anal sex on me
Q. Ok, I'm a married man and I would love to receive anal sex from my wife. I have secretly tried while masturbating by using my hands and dildos. I want my wife to use a strap on dildo and do me. How do I approach het about this with her not being ...
A. 12 August 2010: It does not make you weird, and several men also have this wish. You will just have to tell her about your fantasy and warm her up to the idea. Do not pressure her into doing it, or expect that she will do it right away. Just warm her up to the idea ... (read in full...)
I don't like sex at all!
Q. I don't like sex at all because I have sustained testicular trauma in early adolescence. I don't like to think about it, even if its a constant reality for me. In what ways to you think that this impairs my life to a level that is significant?...
A. 12 August 2010: Wait, so do you still get horny and feel the need for sex? Or do you not want sex at all? Because if you want sex, but for physical reasons can't have it, then you are a more serious problem than if you don't like having sex at all.
First... (read in full...)
Does this virgin have the equipment to satisfy her?
Q. dear cupid, i've been going out with her for a month now. she has invited me to stay the night with her. but i'm nervous that my penis will not be big engouh for her. i'm 6inches when i'm erected and the girth is 1.5 and i have still got my forskin. ...
A. 12 August 2010: You are just fine. ... (read in full...)
Does flirting with other guys equal cheating?
Q. Does flirting with other guys equal cheating? I've got a bf but I tend to sometimes flirt with other guys, no touching, nothing, just teasing them. Is this wrong and does this mean I'm cheating in any way? ...
A. 12 August 2010: Well, we haven't been discussing "harmless" in detail here, but left it up to the poster to judge that for herself. So I can't really tell what you see as "too much" or as "harmless" either. But when I mean harmless I mean harmless, as in it not ... (read in full...)
Does flirting with other guys equal cheating?
Q. Does flirting with other guys equal cheating? I've got a bf but I tend to sometimes flirt with other guys, no touching, nothing, just teasing them. Is this wrong and does this mean I'm cheating in any way? ...
A. 12 August 2010: Nopes, innocent harmless flirts are not cheating. They are completely acceptable as long as you don't push them too far. You should not let the guys you flirt with get the wrong idea though, even though you flirt a little, make sure they understand ... (read in full...)
When do girls stop developing?
Q. I,m 18 and never had good sex Ed so i was wondering for a girl...when do you stop developing? x...
A. 12 August 2010: That depends on the girl, but typically you have matured around the age of 18-20. From there on minor changes can be observed, such as breasts and hips still growing, but both should already have been developed pretty far.
Also, the body always d... (read in full...)
Our first kiss was not anything like I imagined it would be!
Q. me and my long distance boyfriend kissed for the first time today,it is the first kiss ever for both of us. i didnt feel anything although i love him so much,actually the kiss was terrible,it is nothing like i imagined ..he was so nervous and just ...
A. 12 August 2010: You just had one kiss? Well dear you, you need to kiss more. Don't judge him based on just one little kiss, even statistically that is unheard of. You need more kisses in order to establish if he is, or is not, a bad kisser. And then you need to ... (read in full...)
Why do women say they like a nice guy, but let their actions show they like to be treated badly?
Q. I have spent many hours just sitting and listening to women talk. Sometimes because I'm stuck in a situation where I'm the only guy in the room with a bunch of women, sometimes just trying to get an insight into the female mind. One thing I have ...
A. 12 August 2010: And may I add, that maybe there just aren't enough nice guys in the world? Sometimes people are nice in the beginning, and then we fall in love and we love them, and then we are more and more committed, until the point that it is too hard to break ... (read in full...)
Why do women say they like a nice guy, but let their actions show they like to be treated badly?
Q. I have spent many hours just sitting and listening to women talk. Sometimes because I'm stuck in a situation where I'm the only guy in the room with a bunch of women, sometimes just trying to get an insight into the female mind. One thing I have ...
A. 12 August 2010: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/treat-her-horrible-and-shell-want-you-more.html... (read in full...)
I caught him cheating for the 3rd time! He says he won't do it again?
Q. i had a relationship for 3years with a guy.i love him very much and had changed myself so i would get along with him.but he never seem to be pleased no matter wat i do for him. he says he loves me too but the problem is that he keeps on cheating. i ...
A. 12 August 2010: You did the right thing by not forgiving him. He is not right, this is not something that is "natural" for men to do. If he can't stick to one partner alone then he should not be in a relationship! Simple as that. Just walk away and don't look back, ... (read in full...)
How do I know what I am?
Q. How do I know if I'm gay, bi, or straight?...
A. 12 August 2010: You know when you find out what gender you are sexually attracted to. If you aren't sexually attracted to anyone right now, don't worry, you are still what we call a kid, and you're not supposed to have it all figured out yet. It will come in time, ... (read in full...)
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