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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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21, pregnant, broke and alone
Q. im 21 and had sex with a guy I was seeing really quickly. 3 days later i took the morning after pill, only just within the 72hrs. i havent seen the guy since because i keep cancelling on him, hes only 18! then a few days ago i found out i was ...
A. 12 September 2010: You shouldn't really have an abortion just to not add more stress to your mom, now should you? Its life. You can't always plan it. What are you thinking you will do so far? Running away would be nice, you know they did that in the old days when they ... (read in full...)
Should I talk to him while all his boys are around or wait till I see him after school?
Q. Dear cupid im 14 and think i like this boy hes an upper class-man and hes a jock. first noticed him at a football game when he ran through the stadium and he saw the crowd. Then i thought he was really attractive and i forgot not to stare so he ca...
A. 12 September 2010: Be nice to him, talk and smile!... (read in full...)
Who is this strange boy and what do these dreams mean?
Q. I have been having strange dreams about a boy I do not know. He is tall with brown hair and tanned white skin. Why do I have these dreams? As I have said before I like my next door neighbor but his boy is well.... Very handsome. I don't know him and ...
A. 10 September 2010: Everything in your dreams come from inside of your own mind. Even if you dream about a person in real life, you don't really dream about that person, you only dream about what this person is to you. Now your dreams have created this person that you ... (read in full...)
Should I give it all up to be with her?
Q. Simply put, I starting chatting in a forum about a topic unrelated to dating, we talked, there was attraction, 7 months after chatting everyday i fly over there and spent 2.5 weeks with her, everything was magic. Its crunch time now and I have t...
A. 10 September 2010: I have been in a long distance relationship now for a year and a half. Also in different continents, and as we are both students we can't afford to go see each other every other week exactly. What I will share with you is how I plan the situation. ... (read in full...)
Should I give it all up to be with her?
Q. Simply put, I starting chatting in a forum about a topic unrelated to dating, we talked, there was attraction, 7 months after chatting everyday i fly over there and spent 2.5 weeks with her, everything was magic. Its crunch time now and I have t...
A. 10 September 2010: You need to sit put and think about this for much much longer. What exactly is the situation with her children's father? Is it possible to move closer, earn the same, and maybe just have a shorter travel distance? Look at your options. DO NOT GIVE ... (read in full...)
Am I overthinking this friend request?
Q. I am married and I'm a model.Recently i did a phoshoot with a guy for one of my jobs.We had a few hours together on the set so we chatted and hungout, we talked about our families, home countries etc etc.He seemed like a nice family guy and his girl ...
A. 10 September 2010: No, you didn't do anything stupid. If he doesn't want to add you as a friend then that is okay too, but no need to feel embarrassed by it. You were just friendly. Besides, he might just not recognize who you are/hasn't been on facebook lately, or ... (read in full...)
Should I walk away or just step back and wait for a bit?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for the past 3 months. We're both in our late twenties, he was very into me initially and then we agreed to be exclusive to each other after we started becoming intimate. We've had a lot of problems as I had caught him ...
A. 10 September 2010: Duplicate: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/he-says-he-not-100-committed-to-me.html... (read in full...)
He says he not "100%" committed to me... should I move on?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for the past 3 months. We're both in our late twenties, he was very into me initially and then we agreed to be exclusive to each other after we started becoming intimate. We've had a lot of problems as I had caught him ...
A. 10 September 2010: I get that in the dating phase it is best to not expect too much or be clingy. But around the first-fourth month at least, if not longer, a couple are typically head over heels in love, and can't get enough of each other. I have a feeling this woman ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend thinks I should "let her off" and allow her to cheat!
Q. My girlfriend confessed to cheating on me by saying that she's developed feelings for another guy, who also happens to be an old friend of mine. He knows that i and her are in a relationship but even then she was attracted to him after he said that ...
A. 10 September 2010: Good for you! You have stood up for yourself! You are right, it is very hard and painful, but you know it was the right thing to do. And you will feel so much better, already you are feeling better because now you don't have to hurt because of her ... (read in full...)
He says he not "100%" committed to me... should I move on?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for the past 3 months. We're both in our late twenties, he was very into me initially and then we agreed to be exclusive to each other after we started becoming intimate. We've had a lot of problems as I had caught him ...
A. 10 September 2010: Wait until he gets home and then break up with him in person. Its just been 3 months. If you don't feel that things are ok now, then they probably never will be. He's clearly not that into you and you seek a relationship with someone who is fully ... (read in full...)
Insecurities...
Q. Hello everybody: My problem is similar to some I read here. One of my best friends feels the urge to touch, come close, seduce my boyfriend. I know she's not attracted to him but she flirts. They have just seen each other only a couple of times bu...
A. 10 September 2010: Well, why should your pride get hurt by coming clean about your feelings? Ask your boyfriend how he feels about your friends clingyness. If he is a decent guy he SHOULD mind it! You say he doesn't reject her clearly enough because he likes to make ... (read in full...)
I told a guy I'm interested in that I like him, but he never responded! What do I do?
Q. Im a sophmore in high school. Alright, I'll just get to the point. I Like this boy very very very very much. He definetely is attracted to me because of the way he acts around me. i sent him a message (like a retard) telling him i liked him. he ...
A. 9 September 2010: Invite him with you to go do something. Ask him directly, so that he will have to give you an answer. Then at least you will know if he says yes or no. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend thinks I should "let her off" and allow her to cheat!
Q. My girlfriend confessed to cheating on me by saying that she's developed feelings for another guy, who also happens to be an old friend of mine. He knows that i and her are in a relationship but even then she was attracted to him after he said that ...
A. 9 September 2010: Yes, leave this woman, she is not worthy of being in a relationship with you. She doesn't respect you the way she goes on about this other man, and it is not making you happy at all. What she is doing to you is horrible. Tell her that she is welcome ... (read in full...)
Spent a wonderful day with my BF, got emotional, missing him when I got home and parents have completely misunderstood!
Q. Hey everyone; I had a quick question for you all and I'm hoping you can help me and reassure me. This weekend was a blast. On Saturday I got to spend time with my boyfriend at nighttime. Being that it is Labor Day our family decided to go to the ...
A. 8 September 2010: I appreciate your stubbornness Cindy. For natural reasons I do not know how mothers of teenagers feel. You are right there is a generation gap. Which makes it so much nicer that we are able to hear both sides. It is really educational, and I value ... (read in full...)
Should I talk to him while all his boys are around or wait till I see him after school?
Q. Dear cupid im 14 and think i like this boy hes an upper class-man and hes a jock. first noticed him at a football game when he ran through the stadium and he saw the crowd. Then i thought he was really attractive and i forgot not to stare so he ca...
A. 8 September 2010: Don't tell him you like him just yet. And talk to him when he is alone, if you get a chance. Just have some casual conversation before you mention anything about "liking". If you play it right you wont ever have to get to that point. It can be very ... (read in full...)
How can I control myself? tips please!
Q. Hi there guys, so this is a request for advice on how to improve myself! I have a friend who i fight alot with, and it seems that sometimes when she says something insulting i can't help it - i just lose my cool! We end up having a huge fight co...
A. 8 September 2010: Count to 10. Im being serious. ... (read in full...)
Is this his way of being friends?
Q. We were together for a year and a half. Its been a pretty turbulent relationship due mostly to the fact that about 3 months into the realtionship he had sex with his next door neighbor. He ended up admitting it to me about a month after it happened ...
A. 8 September 2010: I am sure he is sure. He had been thinking about it for weeks already. And he did break up. It does not sound like a thing he just randomly came up with. At this point you might be able to talk him into taking you back, but I wil not recommend it. ... (read in full...)
How can I tell him I just want to date and not be his girlfriend?
Q. I have a really HUGE problem. This really sweet guy friend of mine asked me on a date. I said yes, and at the time I thought it would be a nice experience for me. It will be my first date (and I've been holding off on this for a while). Soon aft...
A. 8 September 2010: You are leading every guy on if you accept dates when you are not interested in a relationship at all. Don't accept dates unless you are actually interested.
But, heres what you need to do. Go to the date as planned. The "rules" of dates is that ... (read in full...)
Is this his way of being friends?
Q. We were together for a year and a half. Its been a pretty turbulent relationship due mostly to the fact that about 3 months into the realtionship he had sex with his next door neighbor. He ended up admitting it to me about a month after it happened ...
A. 8 September 2010: I think the relationship needs a clear cut end. I am so sorry, because I know you want this relationship to continue, but think about it from a different perspective. Continuing now you would very easily fall back into bringing him down. If you ... (read in full...)
21, pregnant, broke and alone
Q. im 21 and had sex with a guy I was seeing really quickly. 3 days later i took the morning after pill, only just within the 72hrs. i havent seen the guy since because i keep cancelling on him, hes only 18! then a few days ago i found out i was ...
A. 8 September 2010: Get yourself listed in college again as soon as possible? Do you have some type of student welfare? Can you, if you are a student, get any financial help?
Next, tell the baby father. I know, only 18, but tell him. He will also be responsi... (read in full...)
Spent a wonderful day with my BF, got emotional, missing him when I got home and parents have completely misunderstood!
Q. Hey everyone; I had a quick question for you all and I'm hoping you can help me and reassure me. This weekend was a blast. On Saturday I got to spend time with my boyfriend at nighttime. Being that it is Labor Day our family decided to go to the ...
A. 8 September 2010: How does one get "evaluated"? Maybe not a bad idea, bring your mom with you and maybe whoever does the evaluation will tell your mom that she needs to get a grip? That would be cool. ... (read in full...)
Spent a wonderful day with my BF, got emotional, missing him when I got home and parents have completely misunderstood!
Q. Hey everyone; I had a quick question for you all and I'm hoping you can help me and reassure me. This weekend was a blast. On Saturday I got to spend time with my boyfriend at nighttime. Being that it is Labor Day our family decided to go to the ...
A. 7 September 2010: Well I am 24, but moved out from home at 16, so I've been out on my own for quite a while now. The main reason I moved out was that me and my mother could not live together.
Using doth condoms and birth-control makes you 100% baby-proof. Basicall... (read in full...)
Why do men like shorter women and shy away from tall ones?
Q. I am a 5'7 3/4" female. I'm proud of that quarter inch below 8, because I hate being tall. So guys, honestly, what is the real reason why you flock to short women and pass over the tall ones? Is it because they're cuter and more fragile and make ...
A. 7 September 2010: I must ask.. are genitals on shorter women tighter?
Did I miss an evolution or something? Because as far as I know, their genitals are just the same as tall womens genitals... That is quite funny though.
Men like shorter women because men in g... (read in full...)
Spent a wonderful day with my BF, got emotional, missing him when I got home and parents have completely misunderstood!
Q. Hey everyone; I had a quick question for you all and I'm hoping you can help me and reassure me. This weekend was a blast. On Saturday I got to spend time with my boyfriend at nighttime. Being that it is Labor Day our family decided to go to the ...
A. 7 September 2010: Yes, parents. Sheez. What you are feeling is quite normal, and your mother is making a big deal out if it because she doesn't react in the same way. But people react in different ways. When I get very angry I cry. When I get very sad I yell. I know, ... (read in full...)
Should they proceed or postpone the wedding?
Q. A family member is planning to be maried in 2 months. The couple have been living together for almost 2 years - and have been engaged for about 10 months. The bride recently discovered by accident several large loans which the groom has amassed ...
A. 7 September 2010: They should postpone, you are absolutely right. ... (read in full...)
I've never had a girlfriend, is there something wrong with me?
Q. I'm 25 years old (nearly 26) and I've never had a girlfriend at all. Is there something wrong with me? I have been on dating sites (got rejected on those), I get rejected by women a lot (I never said anything nasty, disrespectful and so on to anyon...
A. 6 September 2010: What are the reasons you are given when you can not get a job, and when you are rejected by women?
Do you have any education? Do you consider yourself a good catch for women? Do you have money (although you do not have a career) do you have hob... (read in full...)
I'm not interested in sex!
Q. hi i'm in need of a bit of help. i'm 18 nearly 19 yrs old and i know it sounds stupid but i'm not interested in sex at all and its that bad i'm worried eventually my relationship of two yrs is gonna go down hill. he says he isnt bothered but i am, i ...
A. 6 September 2010: I think most have one, so relax. You are not weird in that area. I've had a multiple one like once or twice in my life when I first started masturbating, and that was it. No, other women do not have orgasms here there and everywhere. Ordinary women ... (read in full...)
She is married and had an affair with me, I've fallen for her!
Q. A few months ago I got into an intimate relationship with a collegue of mine. She is a quite the full package: attractive, intelligent and amiable. The problem in our relationship (I should probably put that word into brackets) and why it eventually ...
A. 6 September 2010: Im not sure if I can answer all of your questions, but here's what I think when I read your story. It is best to remind yourself that she is not such a great person as you imagine her to be. You said she is the full package.. she is not. She lacks ... (read in full...)
She thinks I cheated on her and she broke up with me!
Q. i have been accused of cheating for the past 4 days and well someone had gotten on my facebook account and said something to this girl that my girlfriend didnt like..well it ended up as that i gave my phone number to her and said well call me when ...
A. 6 September 2010: Change your facebook password to something stronger, that is what you need to do. And then just ask that your girlfriend believes in you. If she doesn't then you will have to move on with your life. I know it sucks, but that is the way of things. ... (read in full...)
Do you think my ex might change when our baby is born?
Q. im 22 weeks pregnant , i was seeing a guy for a year and a half and then we brok up, I got messages from him saying he missed me and so we ended up tgether , i fell pregnant , when i told him he was so happy , always texting me and ringing and ...
A. 6 September 2010: I don't think you can leave him, he has already left. Prepare for life as a single mother and take care of yourself and your child. And make sure he pays child support. His life will change with this child, not only yours. Maybe not he tries to ... (read in full...)
Commitment vs. having your space
Q. My boyfriend has brought up us moving in together a few times now and each time I'm not sure what to say. It makes sense because we're both students with low incomes and we spend almost every night together anyway... but on the other hand, I"m ...
A. 6 September 2010: You need your own space. Believe me. Even when people move in together they NEED their own space, or else they will go bonkers. One reason you enjoy spending every moment with your boyfriend now is that you know you can go home to be away from him ... (read in full...)
Some guy kissed her
Q. guys i neeed help pleaaaase.. my girlfriend just told me a guy in her class kissed her while they were on a break.but she didnt kiss him back she said it all happened in 1 second!! they were talkin and he just kissed her :S i dont know what t...
A. 6 September 2010: Hello? He kissed her?? And you are mad at her? Why are you mad at her, she didn't do anything! What you should have done was be mad at the guy who offended her by kissing her, that is also called harassment. She was forced into a kiss, and maybe she ... (read in full...)
Is he lying about mobile games?
Q. My boyfriend of 2 years takes his phone to the loo..had no problems with this until I thought id send him a text to ask him to bring my watch down out the loo and it ever made a noise? yet when he came down he answered my question and said my watch ...
A. 6 September 2010: It doesnt seem fishy to me at all. We can speculate all we want, and maybe a pop up in our minds ruin a game just as much, but maybe not to him. If I was to believe my guy was up to something fishy every time he didn't make sense, I wouldn't have ... (read in full...)
Do I have my priorities straight in this relationship?
Q. I am going to a one off gig that my favourite band are doing in a few weeks, and its the day after my boyfriends birthday. i will be away on his birthday as this concert is no where near where we live. he is saying i think the concert is more ...
A. 5 September 2010: Alright, I stand corrected. You informed him and at first he said ok, and then changed his mind. But when you say that one reason for you going to this gig is your on and off relationship, what do you mean? Were you on a break/not together at the ... (read in full...)
my bf has only dated teenagers in the past
Q. I have been with my wonderful bf for almost a year. He is everything I could ask for in a life partner. I trust him completely, I know he loves me and will never cheat on me. He is kind and respectful, and we have an amazing time together. We are ...
A. 5 September 2010: Well there you go. You harbor these feelings for him now because you in your mind are 16 and he is a 20 year old man who there must be something wrong with.
But hold on. You are not 16. And he is not 20, and hasn't dated any teenagers in 5 years,... (read in full...)
Is he lying about mobile games?
Q. My boyfriend of 2 years takes his phone to the loo..had no problems with this until I thought id send him a text to ask him to bring my watch down out the loo and it ever made a noise? yet when he came down he answered my question and said my watch ...
A. 5 September 2010: I often wish I had the phone with me to play sudoku's on when I end up taking longer in there than planned. Hence why people often keep magazines in the loo. My bet is he takes the phone with to play games when he takes a shit.
Would you have hea... (read in full...)
my bf has only dated teenagers in the past
Q. I have been with my wonderful bf for almost a year. He is everything I could ask for in a life partner. I trust him completely, I know he loves me and will never cheat on me. He is kind and respectful, and we have an amazing time together. We are ...
A. 5 September 2010: So he has a total of 5 girlfriends (including you), 3 that were teenagers while he was over 20, and 1 of them he had sex with. Is your problem that he dated teenage girls, or that he would be okay with having sex with them (assuming that he would ... (read in full...)
Tall woman with a shorter man?
Q. At 5' 11" I am a very tall woman that usually wears heels for work purposes that easily put me over 6'2. A couple of weeks ago while on my lunch break I walked over to the Book store to browse around and noticed this cute shorter guy eying the ve...
A. 5 September 2010: I would personally have a problem with it. Although, people shouldn't be judged on their looks, height included, I like to give everyone a fair shot at it. In the end, high isn't a deal breaker, it is just another factor. If he has enough great ... (read in full...)
Fear of marriage if she gets too big!
Q. I would love to marry this woman i've been seeing for over a year now , My deal is I feel like if she gets very large at some point that i may lose my physical attraction for no wanting sex, I know by all standards that is wrong, but that's how i ...
A. 4 September 2010: I think it is fair to expect your partner to stay somewhat in a healthy shape. Maybe even more so in a marriage as the person commits to you for life, and you know they wont just up and leave you if you gain a lot of weight.
At the same time, se... (read in full...)
Do I have my priorities straight in this relationship?
Q. I am going to a one off gig that my favourite band are doing in a few weeks, and its the day after my boyfriends birthday. i will be away on his birthday as this concert is no where near where we live. he is saying i think the concert is more ...
A. 4 September 2010: Why didn't you take him with you for the gig as a birthday gift to him?
I think both of you are somewhat wrong in this. What you want to do is totally up to you, just because you date him doesn't mean he gets to decide what you do, even if it is... (read in full...)
How can I improve the texture and look of my stretch marks. How do girls feel about them?
Q. hi i have alot of stretch marks! i have em on my stomach, on the sides of my upper body, on my lover back, shoulders and where my arms meet my body, both on front and back. and i am a guy!! they are almost invisible by now but it feels ...
A. 4 September 2010: If the woman cares about you she will not mind the stretch marks. If you want a woman who cares only for your looks, well she might mind. No, stretch marks are not pretty, and a one-night stander might find them odd, if they really do feel the way ... (read in full...)
Does this mean he will abuse me if we start dating?
Q. im 16 and the guy im talking to is 17. he seems really nice and we had a class together when i was a freshman. im a junior now. well he moved last year but is returning to my school this year. ive heard bad things about him tho. he dated a girl in ...
A. 4 September 2010: Im sorry I misread a part, I thought you write that HE had told stories about how he beat her up, not that this was stories from the ex. I agree with The Realist in this case.... (read in full...)
Does this mean he will abuse me if we start dating?
Q. im 16 and the guy im talking to is 17. he seems really nice and we had a class together when i was a freshman. im a junior now. well he moved last year but is returning to my school this year. ive heard bad things about him tho. he dated a girl in ...
A. 4 September 2010: A feature of abusive relationships is that they last even though one partner is being abused. And the abused often end up going back, simply because they are being controlled in such a way, and loose their strength. It is brainwashing. And it is not ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
