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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
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30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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She broke up with me and was with another guy three days later
Q. My ex girlfriend and I recently broke up, and just 3 days after she started dating this guy that she met when she was still involved with me. The feeling has just been so incredibly painful, I don't know what to do when she told me this I was ...
A. 4 October 2010: I think it is a bad idea to write to her. You show her your hurt and pain much better if you ignore her. That way you show her she has hurt you so much you can't even look in her direction. And that will hurt her back much more than a letter, trust ... (read in full...)
I might be pregnant! What's going to happen?
Q. i am 14 me and my partner want a baby , i might be pregnant and we really hope i am he is scared what will happwn if i am what will happen to the baby ?...
A. 3 October 2010: Honestly, if you want a baby you should already KNOW what will happen. If you don't know then don't try to have a baby! You are absolutely not responsible enough for a child when you don't even know what will happen!
Starters first, if your par... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of three years tells me I am ugly!
Q. Hi everyone! What can you do if your bf told you that your ugly? I have beem with my bf for 3yrs, last year he told that im ugly and he don't know why he's in love with me, he says may is because of im good in sex, i was realy hurt and after that ...
A. 3 October 2010: Do you trust that he has never cheated on you? If he has stayed true to you then I don't think he is with you just for sex, he has been with you for 3 years. It was said in a fight. We all say hurtful things in fights. He was particularly immature ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of three years tells me I am ugly!
Q. Hi everyone! What can you do if your bf told you that your ugly? I have beem with my bf for 3yrs, last year he told that im ugly and he don't know why he's in love with me, he says may is because of im good in sex, i was realy hurt and after that ...
A. 3 October 2010: Maybe you should take your gut feeling seriously. How often has he said these things? Was there anything circumstancial at the time he confessed he thought you were ugly? Was he drunk perhaps, or ill, and not thinking straight?
In the end you can ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want to have sex with me
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for 3 years. Within the first year he was always kissing me, cuddling me, etc....but now he barely comes near me. It's ME who's always going to HIM, i've tried that thing where 'you let them come to you' but i ...
A. 3 October 2010: I think he might try and use marriage as a carrot to make you stay with him, because he knows he doesn't provide you with what you need.
Make sure he understands this is a serious problem, and talk clearly about exactly what both of you can do t... (read in full...)
My ex who dumped me is now drinking excessively! what can I do?
Q. My ex has started going out drinking since our breakup, she very rarely drank alcohol before we broke up and now she's out doing it a lot. I care about her still, as much as I want to move on, I kinda don't want her out doing stupid things, she's ...
A. 3 October 2010: You should stay clear. I know how odd it feels and how much it bothers you to see an ex do stupid things.. been there done that. But they are not your concern anymore. At this point you aren't even classified as her friend, and you should just stay ... (read in full...)
High maintainence and too demanding?
Q. My boyfriend never seems to understand why I get frustrated when he is constantly late to meet me somewhere etc. It may seem like I pick at little things but I'm not just talking minutes late, I'm talking hours. Now, I'm certain that he loves me, ...
A. 2 October 2010: How does he make it up to you? By being there on time 50% of the time instead of 0%?
Sorry for the sarcasm, but how exactly does he make it up to you to the point of your feeling guilty and then CONTINUES to be late? Does he not own a watch? ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want to have sex with me
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for 3 years. Within the first year he was always kissing me, cuddling me, etc....but now he barely comes near me. It's ME who's always going to HIM, i've tried that thing where 'you let them come to you' but i ...
A. 2 October 2010: Here is something that better explains what I mean:
http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/healthclub/relbasictopic/neglect.html
Maybe you should google "neglect". Basically what he is doing is neglecting the relationship. ... (read in full...)
I broke up with first love but don't know how to move on
Q. I broke up with my long term boyfriend about 6 months ago because i had completely lost myself in the relationship due to his manipulative ways. I knew he wasn't happy in himself and with these insecurities came bad behaviour which i learnt to ...
A. 2 October 2010: You are doing the right thing and taking care of yourself! Distancing yourself from him is also the best thing to do. Don't talk to him again until you are absolutely certain it wont bother you at all.
The only thing you can do now is treat yo... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't want to have sex with me
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for 3 years. Within the first year he was always kissing me, cuddling me, etc....but now he barely comes near me. It's ME who's always going to HIM, i've tried that thing where 'you let them come to you' but i ...
A. 2 October 2010: Have you explained to him the difference between still being attracted to someone and actually SHOWING it? What does he say when you tell him you need him to put his arms around you? This is very selfish of him. Just because he doesn't feel the urge ... (read in full...)
Will I be alone for ever?
Q. I am 22 in 2 months i will be 23. I am divorced (i got married at 16) and a single mom of 3. I have been alone so long and i cant even get a guy to look at me. I have done all of the stuff people have told me. (be yourself go out stop looking...) ...
A. 2 October 2010: Perhaps you need to take the same approach to dating life as other divorced single moms out there. They are typically around the age of 30-50, so a good decade or more older than you. But that is perhaps the way to go. Maybe look for dating tips ... (read in full...)
Will I be alone for ever?
Q. I am 22 in 2 months i will be 23. I am divorced (i got married at 16) and a single mom of 3. I have been alone so long and i cant even get a guy to look at me. I have done all of the stuff people have told me. (be yourself go out stop looking...) ...
A. 2 October 2010: How long have you been single? You ask if something is wrong with you, I will ask you "like what?". What is it that could be wrong with you? You will probably realize that you are just like every other human being, and that if there is something ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a bestfriend that is a female. Need help!
Q. dear cupid, I am not the jealous type at all and honestly i didn't even care up until last month when me and this guy im seeing for about 6 months went on vacation together for my birthday. It was supposed to be a group thing but everyone backed o...
A. 1 October 2010: Okay, you say you werent treated with the same "respect" when you told him about your past hook-ups. Well this wasn't a hook up. They never hooked up. He was in love, they fought, and then he moved on. Yes the timin wasn't that great when you were ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him I once had an abortion?
Q. Hi fellas.i need your advice once again.i had an abortion 4yrs ago (6weeks).even my then boyfriend didnt know i was pregnant(i missed my period,took pregnancy test then ran straight for abortion).i found an excuse for leaving my then bf.i gave ...
A. 1 October 2010: You should tell him. If you are a good couple you should be able to tell each other everything.... (read in full...)
He thought my friend was me testing him
Q. I've been like together with this guy for almost 2 months. Today while I was driving my best friend started a conversation with him. After a little bit she gave me back the phone and didn't say anything. I know how she can be so I texted him asking ...
A. 1 October 2010: This is very silly. Try calling him and say you are telling him the truth, and either way it would be a silly thing to get worked up over.
Perhaps he doesn't bother too much with it though, but couldn't reply back to you for other reasons?... (read in full...)
Is this being intimate?
Q. Hi there, Are you being "intimate" If you cup your ex g/f face in yr hand when saying goodnite and giving her a kiss on the cheek and a hug?...
A. 30 September 2010: I agree that the cupping of the face is by far more intimate. Often people consider it highly intimate when they allow their face to be touched. Usually this is donw only between people who love each other.
You might have sent her the wrong me... (read in full...)
Need some help on where to shop in sydney?
Q. This isn't really a question about love or a relationship but I'd like to have some help please. I am going to be moving to Sydney in Australia by the beginning of next year (hopefully) and I would like to know if anyone would be able to help me....
A. 30 September 2010: Maybe you could ask at a tourist office? Or try and track down some governmental online site in Sydney that has links?... (read in full...)
2 Guys lead to 2 different futures. Which do I choose?
Q. I'm in a little bit of trouble here. Y'see, I am dating a guy that I LOVE so much, and he loves me back. There are a few complications with him though, he's amazing and all, but I'm 2 years older than him, and he's got alot of issues that he NEEDS ...
A. 30 September 2010: Clarification: you wrote your ex had proposed to you before, but I took this to mean that was while you and him were still an item, and that he hasn't proposed to you again, but merely said he is interested.
And to add in, even if one of them end... (read in full...)
2 Guys lead to 2 different futures. Which do I choose?
Q. I'm in a little bit of trouble here. Y'see, I am dating a guy that I LOVE so much, and he loves me back. There are a few complications with him though, he's amazing and all, but I'm 2 years older than him, and he's got alot of issues that he NEEDS ...
A. 30 September 2010: Don't worry. It will without doubt NOT be the biggest step in your life to move in with someone. Might be the biggest step so far in your life, but not the biggest step at all in your life in total. You are worrying too much about what is going to ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for 13 years old to want to have sex?
Q. I'm 13 years-old and my boyfriend is 13 too this weekend my boyfriend want's me to give him a hand job and a blow job , is it normoal for kid;s our age wannaing to do that ??? Thanks i hope some one can help me with my Question xx ...
A. 30 September 2010: Its is quite normal to want to do it, especially for boys that is. I do think though that 13 is a bit too young for it, and since you are already asking yourself the same question it is probably for the best that you wait with anything sexually ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend had sex with another guy because of me!! What do I do?
Q. I was with my girlfriend for almost 1 1/2 years, i got real drunk, some girl jus had 100% intention on doing everything with me, i barely spoke to her the entire night. I still dont know to this day why i followed her up to her room. We had sex. My ...
A. 30 September 2010: You cheated on her. She didn't cheat on you. What you did to her was worse than whatever she did while you were broken up. Get a grip. You can say to yourself that you didn't have sex with this other woman to hurt her, but thats kinda worse still, ... (read in full...)
He says we are not compatible sexually
Q. How important is sex in a relationship. My boyfriend of 3 years says he loves me but that he thinks we are not compatible sexually and that sex is really important to him. I like that he may end the relationship because of it. Im not sure what I ...
A. 30 September 2010: I think you have to realize that when sex is important to him, it is important. And no matter what you do, it wont become less important for him. He has spent 3 years of trying to work on compromises, and so have you. I think you have tried what ... (read in full...)
Is this being intimate?
Q. Hi there, Are you being "intimate" If you cup your ex g/f face in yr hand when saying goodnite and giving her a kiss on the cheek and a hug?...
A. 30 September 2010: Yes. Intimate is anything that you don't really do with someone unless they are close to you. Intimacy if often private and between a small number of people. Sharing secrets is something intimate, and hugging and kissing is also intimate. Sitting ... (read in full...)
My girlfriends mom is so hot!
Q. Hey guys im 26 and my gf is 20. we have a baby together and everything is good. but the problem is her mom is 36 and is SO HOT. i mean hot hot hot hot! what do i do?? i stare at her constantly when im over her house. im trying not to get into creep ...
A. 30 September 2010: Stop going over there, and stop staring. For heavens sake, you are gonna make both mother and daughter uncomfortable, and don't think you can hide it. Women are quite good at reading men. We notice. One stare in the wrong direction and you're ... (read in full...)
Wife's sexual habits have changed, does this mean something?
Q. My wife has always been very conservative in the bed, but lately she has done dirtier things in the bed and I don't know where she gets the ideas from. She deepthroats, she spits on my tool when going down, she asked for a facial the other night, ...
A. 30 September 2010: It sounds like she's been watching porn. By any chance do you have porn easily accessible in your home? Spitting is something I have only seen occur in porn to be honest, no real people do that. So definitely, she's been watching porn, and in that ... (read in full...)
Have I Orgasmed?
Q. I don't know if i've had an orgasm. I've had a few boyfs and we've had sex, and there's been a massive build up, he's been down on me or whatever, and it's like build up build up build up and then it's like a little explosion but only 'downstairs...
A. 30 September 2010: Maybe you had a small one? Have you ever had one on your own through masturbation? If you experiment with having orgasms on your own you will fifure out when you've had one for sure, and then you can compare that with what you get in bed. ... (read in full...)
She broke up with me and was with another guy three days later
Q. My ex girlfriend and I recently broke up, and just 3 days after she started dating this guy that she met when she was still involved with me. The feeling has just been so incredibly painful, I don't know what to do when she told me this I was ...
A. 30 September 2010: This might offend someone, so don't read the following part of you have a sensitive heart.
Yes cut all contact with your ex. Not only is she now classified as a whore and slut, she is also a bitch when she decided to tell you she already has a ne... (read in full...)
Should I move to my ex's city like I had planned while we were together?
Q. Here's my situation my girlfriend and I recently broken up we were together for a year and it was mainly a long distance relationship. When we were together I was planning on moving to her city and whenever I would visit her city I fell in love with ...
A. 30 September 2010: I think you could still move. But be aware that it would seem very odd if your ex found out. She would without doubt wonder why you would still want to move. Not to mention you run the risk of meeting her often, and maybe you will feel more ... (read in full...)
How do I get older women to notice me?
Q. what is the best way for older females to notice me? im 19 i like females from 25 and up to 45. people help me out. im not ugly or anythin i look good . i mean alot of women my age want to go out with me. but ilike older women. any advice well be ...
A. 30 September 2010: I dont think mature women go for looks alone, like perhaps younger women will. You need smarts and maturity to attract an older woman. I guess it depends on the woman, but thats my best offer. If I was to date someone as young as you he'd need to ... (read in full...)
When naked, do women still want to be treated with respect?
Q. I have found that when women are naked, they still want to be treated with respect. And I don't have the answers to all life's questions, but I want to know something...Do women prefer being treated with respect, or do the enjoy being ...
A. 29 September 2010: I think if you ever disrespects a woman while she is naked that will be the last time you ever see her naked....
... (read in full...)
What to do when you feel burned out?
Q. I'm at a point in my life where I have no clue what to do and I literally have no inspiration whatsoever. I compensated for being a fluke in high school by trying extra hard in college. Right now I'm getting my bachelor, but lately it just s...
A. 29 September 2010: Thats good! Then you know you have accomplished challenging tasks before. Being your own coach and motivational speaker can help you a long way, its true. Think back on all the things you have accomplished, and know that you have doen good. That ... (read in full...)
Are men good at reading women?
Q. Hi, you know women are meant to be the masters of reading body language and emotions, etc? I have to say, I've never once been wrong about who is and who isn't interested in me. I'm pretty good at sussing people out. But what I want to know is, are ...
A. 28 September 2010: Ah, I see. Well the easy way then is that most guys are interested in anyone who is willing. So women get a fairly easy job when it comes to reading that. ... (read in full...)
Why do family members and relatives interrogate me just because I don't want kids?
Q. Hi everyone. I've noticed that when someone does not want to have kids, everyone interrogates them. They demand answers. But when someone does want to have kids, no-one interrogates them! How does that work? It sounds like discrimination to me...
A. 28 September 2010: No you are not too sensitive. This is society's way of bullying people to do what they consider "normal". If you don't want a child don't let them get to you. It happens all the time to everyone. Even people who only have one child get interrogated ... (read in full...)
What to do when you feel burned out?
Q. I'm at a point in my life where I have no clue what to do and I literally have no inspiration whatsoever. I compensated for being a fluke in high school by trying extra hard in college. Right now I'm getting my bachelor, but lately it just s...
A. 28 September 2010: Im going through something similar right now. I suggest you go to a councellor or school therapist if you have one, and talk about this. You sound like you are burned out and overwhelmed with everything. Talking to someone could help you understand ... (read in full...)
I'm struggling to accept this relationship because of her passionate kiss with another man before she met me!
Q. Hi All, My mind is in total confusion. So please Can any one help regarding this. One girl is in love with me. Even me also just started loving her. Actually she was loving a another guy before in college days. They were friends from 8 months an...
A. 28 September 2010: Yes you can accept this. You have not kissed a girl before? That at least in our culture is very odd. She on the other hand sound normal.
But that is just to me, to me kissing is very common and normal between couples, and is to be expected... (read in full...)
Pathetic cheater (posters own title)
Q. Hello Ladies, I guess I am looking for your advise. Would you want to know? I caught my sister inlaws husband cheating. I have to work with him in a family business. He is a senior member of his church and the person he is cheating with was once the...
A. 27 September 2010: Oh man, don't pity him. If he can't afford to loose the kids he shouldn't have been cheating. End of story. But I wouldn't get too involved. Tell him the game is over, and now he needs to get rid of this other woman. Make sure she doesn't show up ... (read in full...)
Are men good at reading women?
Q. Hi, you know women are meant to be the masters of reading body language and emotions, etc? I have to say, I've never once been wrong about who is and who isn't interested in me. I'm pretty good at sussing people out. But what I want to know is, are ...
A. 27 September 2010: Oh you are just wishing it. Men are horrible at reading women. Think of it this way, about that guy you liked for a year who ended up sleeping with you. This is a classic. You think the guy liked you? Then why on earth did it take him a year before ... (read in full...)
How could I have hpv this long and not know?
Q. I been with my boyfriend for 14 years. He is the olny one i been with. On May 2010 my DR call me to tell me that I have hpv. I know he gave it to me. my question is could I had hpv for 14 years and not know it....
A. 27 September 2010: Didn't your doctor tell you, or didn't you ask your doctor this? HPV is a virus with no symptoms. Usually it is just there without anyone knowing, and is quite common. There are many versions of the HPV though, some cause cancer, some cause warts, ... (read in full...)
I want a large family, and I want to start when I'm 19. Is this a good idea?
Q. Before you answer this question, could you PLEASE understand that, I know I may be talking about being young to do all these things, but I believe that if I'm ready for it, I shouldn't sit and wait around. I should do it. My parents don't know this ...
A. 27 September 2010: Is your boyfriend agreeing with your total plan, or does he just want one child? Do you have your finances planned?
I suggest you find a job first! First and foremost to gain some work experience. Once you have a child or more, it is quite ea... (read in full...)
Is he trying to tell me he wants a baby?
Q. my boyfriend is 26 and iam 20, i may be wrong but this is what is on my mind. we've been together for a year and a bit and quite recently he's made hints about babies. there have been a few occasions where he's mentioned this: once we drove ...
A. 27 September 2010: Guys his age are where they usually begin to start wanting a family and kids. Yes this is usual. And yes I think he wants kids.
Have a serious talk about this. Do you want one too? If he wants one, make it clear, don't keep up this guessing... (read in full...)
Is this boy normal, and should he date my daughter?
Q. I am worried about my daughters new relatonship. My daughter is 17, she is a great kid , we are very lucky that we have never really had any trouble with her. Normally I don"t judge the people she chooses to date but I am a little concerned with her ...
A. 27 September 2010: From what I can tell this boy is perfectly normal. He is completely in love with your daughter, and that is why he feels comfortable enough with her to smile and relax. He is not in love with you, hence he won't act the same way around you... As ... (read in full...)
If I stay over with him more often will it eventually lead to sex? He promised we would not have sex until marriage but I'm worried he wont be able to control himself!
Q. I have been staying over at my boyfriend's hostel room like every once a week. And each time he will rub his penis on my vagina although i am still wearing my panties. I would like to stay over with him more often but I am afraid if that continue...
A. 27 September 2010: Be warned that an engagement is not as good as married. An engagement can be broken off. And then you will have to tell a future husband that you had sex with someone else. And being conservative as you are I think you will regret it. Being ... (read in full...)
If I stay over with him more often will it eventually lead to sex? He promised we would not have sex until marriage but I'm worried he wont be able to control himself!
Q. I have been staying over at my boyfriend's hostel room like every once a week. And each time he will rub his penis on my vagina although i am still wearing my panties. I would like to stay over with him more often but I am afraid if that continue...
A. 22 September 2010: Some are able to control themselves. But it sounds like he doesn't want to control himself, the way he keeps rubbing up against you shows that all you need to do is have one moment of weakness and he will gladly take you.
Ask him to stop rubbing ... (read in full...)
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