| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Boyfriend is not ashamed of being nude in front of others...
Q. Last night, we had around 20 people over for a New Years party, and I was trying to fall asleep a little later in the night. I was nearly asleep when someone ran to the bathroom (which is right outside of my room) to inform his girlfriend that my ...
A. 9 January 2011: There are different views on what is a good relationship. In your case you want to own his body. In many relationships it's about respect for each other and not about owning the other. Sex and intimacy is given as a privilege in those relationships, ... (read in full...)
How many partners is too many partners?
Q. I am a 29 year old woman trying to figure out if I have had too many partners or if I am just average and don't need to worry. I feel pretty average. But when men ask, I'm never sure how I measure up. I know it depends on the man. How many p...
A. 5 January 2011: No, if they wanted to know about STD's they'd ask about STD's, not about your number of sexual partners. There's a difference: asking the number of partners means nothing in terms of whether you carry any STD's or not. Asking to get checked up in ... (read in full...)
Relationships: An Observational Assumption
Q. I was revising physics when an epiphany struck me that made me realize something potentially significant about the high rates of failure in cross-gender relationships, that is male and female companionship( and if you're wondering what the ...
A. 5 January 2011: Found anyone to cuff up with yet Jmtmj? ... (read in full...)
How many partners is too many partners?
Q. I am a 29 year old woman trying to figure out if I have had too many partners or if I am just average and don't need to worry. I feel pretty average. But when men ask, I'm never sure how I measure up. I know it depends on the man. How many p...
A. 5 January 2011: I don't think that's a lot, but then again Im not someone who finds the number of sexual partners a cause for concern at all. At best it describes a life style, and would to me mean the same as if someone told me they once backpacket through Europe ... (read in full...)
Is this girl evil?
Q. I recently got into a fight with a girl I know about what she does. Basically, she sleeps with men for money and she leads others on by pretending she is interested in them. She sort of is, but when they get too close she pulls back----but only ...
A. 5 January 2011: Im not going to say she has low self esteem, on the contrary I imagine she has a rather great self esteem. Girls with low self esteem typically will cling to any guy who wants her and stick to him no matter what an arse hat he is.... (read in full...)
Relationships: An Observational Assumption
Q. I was revising physics when an epiphany struck me that made me realize something potentially significant about the high rates of failure in cross-gender relationships, that is male and female companionship( and if you're wondering what the ...
A. 4 January 2011: Im just going to repeat myself if I answer your last question, so excuse me. Mimic the bonds created in family? Fully possible. But you don't like my answer :p
As for "blood is thicker than water", yepp thats true in most cases, but only because ... (read in full...)
Why does he throw my notes away and not mention them?
Q. So I live with my boyfriend and i try to leave him little notes before I go to work in the morning. The thing is he never says anything about them, EVER. Not once has he mentioned them or what i write in them. And what bugs me more is he throws them ...
A. 4 January 2011: He doesn't care. Or perhaps he thinks it's nice that you do it, but why would you need him to do anything in return? Do you only act nice to him to get something back?
Write the little notes and stop expecting anything in return. If he's not givi... (read in full...)
My boyfriend thinks there's no such thing as making love!
Q. Hi, My boyfriend thinks sex and love are completely different entities and that theres no such thing as making love. The other day i asked him, what if i had sex with another man is it okay? he said, no coz i wouldnt be having sex. What kind of a...
A. 4 January 2011: I don't know, I don't understand what he means either. You should ask him.... (read in full...)
My sex drive has gone into overdrive, is this normal?
Q. hi guys! :) not really relationship problems but i deffinately think i have a problem! when i first got with my boyfriend about 18 months ago id been in previous relationships, so had he, we'd both had a few sexual partners, nothing out of the ...
A. 4 January 2011: ps. I did see that you masturbate often already, I don't know why I worded myself so weirdly about that, so excuse me. I still think the best thing for you to do in the absense of sex is to masturbate, something you already are doing. Perhaps you ... (read in full...)
My sex drive has gone into overdrive, is this normal?
Q. hi guys! :) not really relationship problems but i deffinately think i have a problem! when i first got with my boyfriend about 18 months ago id been in previous relationships, so had he, we'd both had a few sexual partners, nothing out of the ...
A. 4 January 2011: I can't speak for others, but you sound normal to me. When it comes to our sex drives there is nothing that hasn't been seen before. We're all different there.
However, you are wearing your poor fellow out. It's time to give him some well ear... (read in full...)
Is this girl evil?
Q. I recently got into a fight with a girl I know about what she does. Basically, she sleeps with men for money and she leads others on by pretending she is interested in them. She sort of is, but when they get too close she pulls back----but only ...
A. 4 January 2011: It's not evil. Those men will get by, and may I add have had a little taste of their own medicine. It's not nice, but women and men alike get played like this all the time. Let those guys be responsible for themselves, it's not your battle.
You'v... (read in full...)
How can I persuade my parents to let us in my room during the day?
Q. I'm 14 years old, and my boyfriend is 17. We've been together for about 2 months, he isn't one of these older boys who are just after sex or anything, he is a really decent lad. I persuaded my mum and dad to let him sleep round at the weekend. They ...
A. 4 January 2011: Maybe you can compromise with them, say perhaps you can be in your room if you keep the door open? Or perhaps you can go in the yard or somewhere outside of hearing range, but where they can still see you? That way you could at least talk privately. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend ignores me when I talk!
Q. My boyfriend of one year ignores me. When I talk sometimes he just sits and says nothing. I am not asking for a long conversation, but even a "yeah" or "sure", I mean anything. It is extremely rude and driving me crazy. The other day I talked about ...
A. 4 January 2011: I think it's rude. Either stop talking to him and stop playing that game with him, or leave the guy. I mean what kind of relationship will you have with him when this is how he treats you, as someone annoying that he should ignore? How very charming ... (read in full...)
Relationships: An Observational Assumption
Q. I was revising physics when an epiphany struck me that made me realize something potentially significant about the high rates of failure in cross-gender relationships, that is male and female companionship( and if you're wondering what the ...
A. 4 January 2011: Excuse me, love is the bond in family? Hardly the way you idealistically imagine. Finances, need, dependancy, supply, those are bonds in a family. If there is love as well then you are lucky! Family is obligation as much as any marriage is, and ... (read in full...)
Relationships: An Observational Assumption
Q. I was revising physics when an epiphany struck me that made me realize something potentially significant about the high rates of failure in cross-gender relationships, that is male and female companionship( and if you're wondering what the ...
A. 3 January 2011: What do you mean "we have to take whatever comes with it". Of course you have to, but you also take whatever comes with family and you can't replace them.
The problem with men and women as you portray is not really as much of a gender specific... (read in full...)
Virgin woman married to a man with erectile dysfunction
Q. I am a 35 year-old virgin. My 40 year-old husband has an erectile dysfunction which is preventing us from consummating our marriage. We've been married since one year, and are together since 4 years. We love each other, and are able to enjoy ...
A. 3 January 2011: There is no special erection needed to have intercourse with a virgin. Any erection will do. ... (read in full...)
Relationships: An Observational Assumption
Q. I was revising physics when an epiphany struck me that made me realize something potentially significant about the high rates of failure in cross-gender relationships, that is male and female companionship( and if you're wondering what the ...
A. 3 January 2011: You've rediscovered the marriage I am afraid. In marriage you are forever bond to one person, until death separates you. You become family. There is no option of leaving. Divorce is a "new" idea created by the protestants. Before that if anyone ... (read in full...)
It is wrong that it disturbs me that my guy gets massages?
Q. Hello, This might come in as a weird question, but I'd appreciate any advice I can get. I'm 39 and have a wonderful guy I'm going to be married to and well, should I have reason to be wary about my guy going to spas to get a massage from any...
A. 3 January 2011: "they don't do that for females, so why do it for men, right? "
I know, completely silly. They should do it for women too, definitely. The chest is after all not a more sexual part of your body than any other part of your body, the whole thing is... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about her crush on another girl?
Q. my girlfriend says she has a crush on another girl is this okay? or should i be worried?...
A. 3 January 2011: Be worried? It's not exactly a godo thing if she wants to be with someone else other than you. Perhaps she wants to break it off with you? ... (read in full...)
I'm willing to wait 2 years for her! She's almost perfect!
Q. I'm a college student and I met a girl in class in September. We started getting along really well and in 2 or 3 months we saw each other outside of school almost every day. It could be almost impossible to keep in better touch with someone than how ...
A. 3 January 2011: It sounds as if you're dead set on what you want to do, so why did you come on here asking the question then? If you wont take my advice that's fine, but you came and asked it, and I gave it.
Waiting around for someone = poor idea... (read in full...)
What are the after effects of cheating ?
Q. I want to know what are the after effects of cheating on someone? is it make 'permanent' damages for your current relationships? can people have the same desires for each other again after cheating? or is there any kind of despises,anger or lack o...
A. 3 January 2011: Typically yes to all of the above. More commonly the relationship ends.... (read in full...)
How can you spot a player?
Q. I took things slowly with my ex, went on dates, met his friends and family, didn't sleep with him until at least a couple of months. Yet I still got played. Still got cheated on and dumped by text. So how can you tell?...
A. 3 January 2011: When it comes to terms here I will use "player" for someone who's not serious about dating and who likes to sleep around, sometimes known as a manwhore. A "cheater" on the other hand don't have the typical signs of a player, but is a breed of his ... (read in full...)
Need help! What does this mean?
Q. hey guys i need to know what this means: " seriously though I think her looks saved her or else I think ud only get two camels at the market for her" what is this person trying to say????...
A. 3 January 2011: As for the camel part as some didn't understand that, yes in some countries/old cultures women were sold for camels. The amount of camels you'd get would tell you how much the woman is worth. 200 camels and up I'd say is a good deal, then the woman ... (read in full...)
How can a straight man attract and/or ask a bisexual woman out?
Q. Whoa, 4 years now, and I've been playing the wrong cards. I thought for this time, I've been trying to attract my crush, and just ask her out on JUST one date, and I found out a rumor for the first time she might be bisexual. Now, if this statement ...
A. 3 January 2011: I've heard of men who are not interested in sex, relax. I didn't imply that you only want sex with her either. But back to the point: you date her like you'd date any other woman. Of course you want to make it a special night, but there's no text ... (read in full...)
I'm willing to wait 2 years for her! She's almost perfect!
Q. I'm a college student and I met a girl in class in September. We started getting along really well and in 2 or 3 months we saw each other outside of school almost every day. It could be almost impossible to keep in better touch with someone than how ...
A. 3 January 2011: Its not fair to any other girl you meet. Or do you perhaps think thats fair?
I've been/am in your shoes. In love with a man who either likes someone else or just doesn't look at me that way. I found that as much as I'd love to be with him I can't ... (read in full...)
I'm willing to wait 2 years for her! She's almost perfect!
Q. I'm a college student and I met a girl in class in September. We started getting along really well and in 2 or 3 months we saw each other outside of school almost every day. It could be almost impossible to keep in better touch with someone than how ...
A. 2 January 2011: You should move on. Sorry, you said you can't, but you can and you must. You say she is near perfect.. well all the qualities you listed in her you can find in someone else as well. Not to brag, but I cook and clean and look good as well. Several ... (read in full...)
Does this count as sex?
Q. so first off my boyfriend and i have never had sex. okay two nights ago my boyfriend and i were messing around on the couch (like he was rubbing himself on me but not going in) and he kind of slipped and went in maybe an inch or so but n...
A. 2 January 2011: Rubbing is sex. Intercourse on the other hand is to have the penis in the vagina. And by the sounds of it you didn't have full intercourse (still enough to get you pregnant though).
Sex however can be anything sexual, even kissing. It all depends ... (read in full...)
Looking for my soul mate. Am I doing something wrong?
Q. I'm a single, attractive female with little dating experience looking for my soulmate in new york city. This has happened to me twice so I'm posting about it. I must be doing something wrong. I went to a club/bar with my friends, met a f...
A. 2 January 2011: Yeah, stop telling guys you want to go home with them, you're just gonna get called something bad. I won't say it on here, but if you let a guy think you'll have sex with him and then you don't... well there's a bad word for that. Ask your friends. ... (read in full...)
Need help! What does this mean?
Q. hey guys i need to know what this means: " seriously though I think her looks saved her or else I think ud only get two camels at the market for her" what is this person trying to say????...
A. 2 January 2011: That you are dumb or nasty to others. Sorry. They are basically saying that you're not worth much if it wasn't for your looks. You're just pretty to look at and nothing else.
But, thats only what one person has said. If you don't feel thats ri... (read in full...)
Whats wrong with me? I push people I love away!
Q. FYI, I'm a 15 year old girl who's never dated and I really wanna this year.Purely my decision. Theres a guy that i really care about, we fell for eachother but once it got to making our relationship official, I started treating him bad (like ig...
A. 2 January 2011: This will be short, but true: take a deep breath and jump into it with your eyes closed. Thats all you need to do.... (read in full...)
Help! I have no self-esteem!
Q. okay I have no self estme or confidence what so ever. what can I do to change that cause Ive driven into hateing myself for it... (sorry if I mispelled anything)...
A. 2 January 2011: And remember, loving yourself is not a bad thing, nor is it conceited. It's good. So don't be embarrassed about it once you do start to care for yourself. Be proud instead that you have managed to do something most people are afraid to. ... (read in full...)
Help! I have no self-esteem!
Q. okay I have no self estme or confidence what so ever. what can I do to change that cause Ive driven into hateing myself for it... (sorry if I mispelled anything)...
A. 2 January 2011: How can you hate yourself for not having any self esteem? If you don't have any self esteem how can there be anything to hate. I wonder if you in fact do care for yourself, but lack the ability to admit to it, thus saying you "hate" yourself over ... (read in full...)
Do nice girls really finish last?
Q. What do guys think of nice girls?? I was just in an emotionally abusive relationship and ppl told me that it was not worth it to be nice all the time? Do men find playing hard to get and bitches attractive?? I mean I believe in being honest and ...
A. 2 January 2011: I think reading books about relationsgips is silly compared to real life experiences. If you want a mysterious relationship with certain types of men and keep a distance in your relationship, then go for that if thats what you want. But, clearly ... (read in full...)
Do nice girls really finish last?
Q. What do guys think of nice girls?? I was just in an emotionally abusive relationship and ppl told me that it was not worth it to be nice all the time? Do men find playing hard to get and bitches attractive?? I mean I believe in being honest and ...
A. 1 January 2011: Be who you are. The solution is not to turn into a bitch, but stay a nice girl and find a NICE GUY. You dated a jerk. Don't let that turn you into one too. Just find someone nice next time. ... (read in full...)
Why are guys put off by acne?
Q. I just want to know why guys are put off by acne so much. I know I will probably sound full of myself by saying this, but before I got acne, guys were always talking to me (Most of my bestfriends were guys). Then when I turned 14, I started develo...
A. 1 January 2011: Are you sure it is because of acne and not that you are growing older and the guys also get more perverted typcally? A young teenage boy cares about different things than a boy before he reaches puberty. Going to different schools might also be ... (read in full...)
What does it mean if a man says a woman is a bit ripe?
Q. What does it mean if a man says you are a bit ripe?I overheard this man I just met, on the phone talking about me and he told the person my age and then said "she a bit ripe,still"I think he mustve meant shes a bit old,but I only just turned 23!and ...
A. 1 January 2011: It could hardly be that you are old. 23 is not old. And that would be relative to who's asking. Perhaps it was said in a good way, as in you are young but mature enough?
I don't know though, but why should you care. Let them speak, don't bother w... (read in full...)
How can a straight man attract and/or ask a bisexual woman out?
Q. Whoa, 4 years now, and I've been playing the wrong cards. I thought for this time, I've been trying to attract my crush, and just ask her out on JUST one date, and I found out a rumor for the first time she might be bisexual. Now, if this statement ...
A. 1 January 2011: Is this a joke question? You don't change your "game" or soap and shampoo over this. She's bisexual not gay, so that means she still likes guys. You don't change anything. Really, where did you get the idea that bisexual women like a different kind ... (read in full...)
He's angry because he found my diary from BEFORE we were together that has pictures of an ex!
Q. soo my bf was looking for something in the spare bedroom and came across my diary. Which of course had pics of my ex and the last time i wrote or even looked in the diary was before my new bf and i were even together! He said he didnt read it...just ...
A. 1 January 2011: I second Caring Guy. He's a looser. Tell him to take pictures all he wants and write a diary, and you won't care, because that how normal people react.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is not ashamed of being nude in front of others...
Q. Last night, we had around 20 people over for a New Years party, and I was trying to fall asleep a little later in the night. I was nearly asleep when someone ran to the bathroom (which is right outside of my room) to inform his girlfriend that my ...
A. 1 January 2011: This is how he is and what he likes to do. You either accept that as a part of him and stop trying to control him to fit into your standards, or you find someone who's already good enough for your standards. Plain and simple. If you're tired of this ... (read in full...)
He's angry because he found my diary from BEFORE we were together that has pictures of an ex!
Q. soo my bf was looking for something in the spare bedroom and came across my diary. Which of course had pics of my ex and the last time i wrote or even looked in the diary was before my new bf and i were even together! He said he didnt read it...just ...
A. 1 January 2011: Your boyfriend invaded your privacy and is a tota jerk to be honest. This is none of his business, and if he tries to make it his business you should show him the door.
Let him simmer this off on his own for a few days and see if he will come to ... (read in full...)
I don't want to end up being just another girl for him!
Q. I have had the same bf for about eight months now and recently he told me before he met me he slept with a girl in my grade and ignored her and they haven't talked since. Now I am unsure if he used me for the last eight months to try to get to that ...
A. 1 January 2011: I think your boyfriend told you this because he feels he can trust you, and because he wants to share some secrets of his with you. I don't think he told you this in order to get into your pants and use you... Because if all he wanted was sex he'd ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't try to impress me anymore
Q. my boyfriend and i have been together for a year and a half. Yesterday was our six month anniversary. Kind of a big deal. My sister ended up taking us out to eat. My problem is he doesn't try to impress me anymore. We do the same thing day in and...
A. 1 January 2011: Good for you! Spotting that you are incopatible can be hard, but when you're not a good match you're just not a good match so why waste any time with it. ... (read in full...)
A world away from my love
Q. At the beginning of this year I happened upon the woman of my dreams. Actually it was her parents that I met initially, we were both killing time during a particularly long airport layover and became good friends. We talked about our homes and fa...
A. 31 December 2010: As they say, if it's meant to be it's meant to be. If she does return your feelings why would she start seeing someone else? She'll keep a part of her heart for you only, so that when the time is right you can be a part of her life.
Thing... (read in full...)
Webcam Incident - scared,afraid,paranoid. help?
Q. Hello people, i was faced with two seperate incidents that happen over a year ago, close to two. Basically, i webcam-ed in msn with strangers from a chatroom. And you guessed it, i "over-exposed" myself during the short webcam session. Worst of all, ...
A. 31 December 2010: There is a chance it got recorded. But what can you do? It happened, you made a mistake, and now you wont do it again. Thats all you can do about it. And it will be pointless to worry about matters you can not do anything about. If you want to worry ... (read in full...)
A world away from my love
Q. At the beginning of this year I happened upon the woman of my dreams. Actually it was her parents that I met initially, we were both killing time during a particularly long airport layover and became good friends. We talked about our homes and fa...
A. 31 December 2010: I have one question for you: does she love you back? You said she was shy, but what does that mean? Does it mean she loves you. but doesn't want a relationship, does it mean you don't really get to know her and so have no idea if she loves you back, ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't try to impress me anymore
Q. my boyfriend and i have been together for a year and a half. Yesterday was our six month anniversary. Kind of a big deal. My sister ended up taking us out to eat. My problem is he doesn't try to impress me anymore. We do the same thing day in and...
A. 30 December 2010: I happen to think boredom isn't a "small" problem. It's a rather crucial point. At times things can slow down, but as this has turned into the regular style of the relationship I think it is fair to say things won't change any time soon. He's landed ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
