| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Ladies: How do you feel about your highshool sweetheart if you aren't married to him now.
Q. I've been dealing with some insecurities about my wife's ex - the guy she dated in high school. She lost her virginity to him and by all accounts he was the love of her life until it ended. I also know that she didn't want to end it and was prett...
A. 25 January 2011: I don't think you have anything to worry about at all. She sent one e-mail one time and likes to read teenage love-novels. It's really not much to get scared by at all. So she had a great time in high school and has a loving memory. Let her have ... (read in full...)
Girl masturbation
Q. Is it just me or is using a vibrator a lot better than using your hands or fingers when you masturbate? is that a lesbian thing to use a vibrator? :s...
A. 25 January 2011: Vibrators tend to work better, unless you're lucky and have a talent for how to use your hands. It's not a lesbian thing to use a vibrator. Vibrators are not something only for single women either, they can be used to masturbate even when you are in ... (read in full...)
Bisexual and proud!
Q. Im bisexual and proud! i like girls and boys, i cant understand why people are a afraid to admit it, you are what you are and you shouldnt hide away from that. there is nothing to be ashamed of, i've had sexual experiences with girls and boys its ...
A. 25 January 2011: -joins the parade- Bisexuality is great, stands out from both heterosexual and homosexual as we do not judge people by gender but for who they are...! ... (read in full...)
I stumbled upon a video of my husband masturbating, on our computer!! I don't know how to deal with this..
Q. Hi, I am 19 years old. I am married. I have been married for 9 months. my husband is in the military. We have been together for 3 years. We recently moved to Germany, for his job. He is at work. I stumbled upon a video of him masturbati...
A. 25 January 2011: I say keep this to yourself for a while longer. You recently discovered it and you are upset and confused. Let it be for a while and think about it and see what you think in a few days time. Do not act in the passion of the moment, think things ... (read in full...)
How wet is too wet? My arousal is turning into a nightmare for me!
Q. I find myself getting really wet several times each day. Most of the time it happens if I’m day-dreaming about having sex or being intimate with a guy. At first I enjoyed feeling aroused and wet all the time but now it’s turned into a nightmare. ...
A. 25 January 2011: It could be just temporarily. If you continue to see this is a problem for you for several months then you could contact your doctor and ask if there is anything to be done to decrease your wetness. This however is not harmful, there is nothing ... (read in full...)
Was I wrong to get upset, or was it wrong for him to discuss my friend's period at dinner?
Q. HI everyone! So my boyfriend and I have been together for a year yesterday he came to ick me up from my job and he said hi to my bestfriend wh also woks with me. Anyway we went get food and during dinner he said " does your best friend have her ...
A. 24 January 2011: During dinner or not, your boyfriend was impolite. How bad you should react to that depends on your standards and what level you have this relationship on. But common courtesy is to not mention either period or breakout of anyone's face. That's ... (read in full...)
Two long-term girlfriends, both in love, one pregnant - looks vs. personality
Q. I am in a bit of pickle situation and it's pretty deep and I don't know what to do now. I thought I could handle it and that the answer would present itself by way of circumstance, but this hasn't happened and now I'm in desperate need of help. ...
A. 24 January 2011: Aside from that, and Im ignoring the elements that triggers me here, I think you made the right decision with going for Australian. But I really really hope you will realize that you can not blame the lack of passion on your girl. If you are sincere ... (read in full...)
Two long-term girlfriends, both in love, one pregnant - looks vs. personality
Q. I am in a bit of pickle situation and it's pretty deep and I don't know what to do now. I thought I could handle it and that the answer would present itself by way of circumstance, but this hasn't happened and now I'm in desperate need of help. ...
A. 24 January 2011: I actually liked sageoldguys's reply. Sorry you couldn't see the value in it. I saw the value in it though, so don't speak on "our" behalf when you say no one could benefit from it. ... (read in full...)
How do I successfully ride my boyfriend?
Q. My boyfriend loves it when I ride him but after a month I still don't really know what to do. I have trouble keeping a rhythm up. He tells me to lead and he'll follow along, but I always end up losing it and having to pull myself out of the moment ...
A. 23 January 2011: Tell him to hold your hips/thighs and move you, so that you can keep up with him instead of him to you. And yes, unless he moves as well you will get cramps in your legs, it's not an easy position to work perfectly without his help!... (read in full...)
Need help...what would stop her from wanting to be with me?
Q. Hi DearCupid, I am asking this question with regards to someone I really like but I'm not sure what her point of view is of everything... If she is single, attracted to me, cares about me, and knows that I really care about her, what would stop ...
A. 23 January 2011: perhaps said work situation that prevents you as well from laying it out on the table... (read in full...)
Is my bf just acting macho about popping my cherry and 'D' but he loves me for real?
Q. My bff's brother let me hear a cell message that the guy I've been going out with for the past nine months left a couple hours ago. He said man I ain't trying to miss the game but you know how it is I gotta play it with 'm' cuz homes is gonna pop ...
A. 23 January 2011: he wants sex and is already seeing someone else? but what does car keys have to do with this?... (read in full...)
He's the center of every dream I've ever had!
Q. I'm a 15 year old girl. I was dating a guy for a year and 2 months, when things got difficult with his Dad. His Dad read our MSN conversations, and found out a lot of stuff that he shouldn't have, such as how intimate we had gotten and such. He told ...
A. 23 January 2011: Take this as it comes. You and him are both so young and will have everyone ganging up against you, and especially his dad is posing a threat to any relationship between the two of you. I actually find it rude of his father to lecture his son on ... (read in full...)
From Incredible Happiness to breaking up?
Q. Hello friends! So here's a little about my situation: I was dating this guy and we were amazing together. We communicated, we were in tune, we understood, we made each other explicitly happy. He's also a pretty transparent person - whatever em...
A. 23 January 2011: How transparent is he when he doesn't like to tell you about his personal problems?
I fear there are a lot of things you don't know about this guy, and likely he has just given you a picture perfect image when the truth about who he is is quite di... (read in full...)
The sweetness of first love....
Q. Stories of first loves? Did it last? How old were you? What went wrong? Do you still think of them? Are you still together? Stories, please. I'm interested :)...
A. 23 January 2011: Depends on if you loved your first boyfriend. I didn't love or particulalry care for my first boyfriend, and we stayed together for just two or three weeks... so I barely count him in. I'd definitely not call him a "love" of mine.... (read in full...)
Love stories about getting with the ex?
Q. Ever gotten back with an ex? How long did you guys separate? Did things work out in the end? I recently got back together with mine after a long break up period of 10 months. I'm curious to know who shares a similar experience and ultimately, if t...
A. 22 January 2011: I tried to get back with an ex once. But while we were broken up we were still having casual sex from time to time, which I think was the worst thing we could have done. The sex was great, but there was nothing to build a relationship on other than ... (read in full...)
The sweetness of first love....
Q. Stories of first loves? Did it last? How old were you? What went wrong? Do you still think of them? Are you still together? Stories, please. I'm interested :)...
A. 22 January 2011: First love.. let's see, you mean the first boy I was ever in love with, or the first boy I was ever serious in a relationship with?
First guy I was in love with was when I was 14 and he was 18, and didn't even speak my language. So fair to say i... (read in full...)
I really want to blow his mind when I see him again!
Q. My guy is out of town working and we wont be able to see each other for three weeks till he gets his second pay check.....and I wanna really blow his mind when I see him again...should I get lingerie...or something else...HELP?...
A. 22 January 2011: Are you in a relationship? Do you know any of his interests? What are your interests? Sexy lingerie would suggest you want to have sex, is your relationship already at that level? Will he be staying the night at your place?
I'd actually cook him... (read in full...)
My ex-wife and fiancee cannot both be at my father's funeral...what do I do?
Q. I have a dilemma that I doubt I will get much sympathy from here. I recently divorced after a year long separation following an affair. I live with my mistress and we are in love and planning to get married in a year or so. She has met all of m...
A. 22 January 2011: Leave this up to the women. In this case, they are the ones who have an issue with each other, not you. If your wife was mad over the affair she'd be refusing to see YOU, and clearly she isn't. She's only refusing to see the "mistress". But thats ... (read in full...)
I'm out of his league...Should I care what others think?
Q. I just need to make sure I'm thinking clearly. I'm engaged to a wonderful man who treats me like a princess. He loves me and I love him. Our sex life is good. He's financially stable, (6 figure job, house in the right neighborhood, car, he has no ...
A. 22 January 2011: I think it's stupid to worry about what others think. If they want to believe that happiness can be found in superficial beauty.. then good luck to them! They'll probably have crappy relationships and marriages! So, good luck as I said. Out of his ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my wife I cheated on her with over 30 prostitutes?
Q. I'm 35, my wife 36, we have 2 kids, married for 7 years. Before our kids born we have really great relationship and have sex every day. Sine she got pregnant the first kid her interest for sex declined sharply. No matter what I tried the most we can ...
A. 22 January 2011: I wasn't planning on saying more to this that what I already have, but after all this senseless bashing I thought I'd say something after all. If not for anything but backing up a human being here. What is it you all suggest? That because he went 30 ... (read in full...)
I don't feel his erection through his pants, does this mean he is really small?
Q. I have recently met this guy online whom I like quite a lot. I wouldn't say I am in love with him since we have only been on four dates but we have reasonable chemistry and get along otherwise. We have made out twice already, pants on but I don't ...
A. 21 January 2011: Could it be that he's got impressive control over himself? Often guys think it's embarrassing that their erections can be felt, and so it's likely that he will hold it back if he's capable of it.
But yeah, just play this out normally and once you... (read in full...)
Was I insensitive towards my friend? Or did I do the right thing?
Q. My friend is going through a hard break up and was really sad in front of me. They started to cry and started to talk about there relationship. At first I told them "its okay you can cry" and they felt bad for crying in front of me. So I told them, ...
A. 21 January 2011: I think you did the right thing, just tell them that crying is ok as well :) But cheering someone up is definitely showing that you care a lot!... (read in full...)
I pushed my fiancee into having a boob job and now I regret it
Q. I'll probably get criticised for this............... I always had a thing about boob jobs on women n although my fiancee had nice size breasts and a fantastic figure i constantly went on to her about wanting her to have one. Stupid i know. ...
A. 21 January 2011: I think you need to let her go out and have her fun. Remember she is your fiancee, and you have already promised to stay with her for life. That was a decision you made when you proposed. And in the long term perspective, she will not always be like ... (read in full...)
She turned me down because of the colour of my skin, even though she is darker than me! Who is the crazy one here?
Q. Aunty's I can't beleieve what just happened. My cousin hooked me up with a chic I'll say is "X". Okay so we kicked it on the phone for 9 months until last Saturday. She liked me and I liked her. She calls me tonight and said we should be friends ...
A. 21 January 2011: She's not crazy. She's got an up-tight preference though. try and not let it bother you, but take it as a red flag: this girl is not for you! Even if she does chance her mind, clearly she's got her mind dead set on a few things here and there which ... (read in full...)
Is it to wrong to have cybersex with other guys when I have a boyfriend?
Q. hi, I'm 18 now,I don'nt know if this is right... I often talk abotu sex with guys in internet chats and often have "cybersex" too even with webcam and I really like that I do it since I was 15(i dont know those guys actually they are far away in ...
A. 20 January 2011: It's cheating unless your boyfriend has given you the green light to do so.
In general, if you feel you must hide something from your boyfriend then you shouldn't do it in the first place. Stop cybering online, or ask permission. ... (read in full...)
What does a woman feel when she rejects a guy?
Q. What does a woman feel when she rejects? Contempt for the guy who tries? A sense of guilt? Pity? Or maybe she has very little thought of why? Or maybe she feels superior? Does she ever think that she may hurt the man? Does she ever think abo...
A. 20 January 2011: This depends on who the man is that we reject. If he is someone we know and care about, it can be painful to reject him as we do not wish to cause him pain. It can be awkward and embarrassing as well, and actually some women just accept instead of ... (read in full...)
18 and not had a relationship......
Q. Here's the thing I'm an 18 year old male and not to blow my own trumpet or anything, but just to set the scene. I am fairly good looking, I've been told by other people. I'm intelligent. I am also popular I have lots of good friends. I haven't...
A. 20 January 2011: First off it's not unusual at all to be 1 and not have had a girlfriend yet. Several girls also go around at that age as single and some even unkissed and they are all scared that they are abnormal. You're not, you're absolutely normal. However it ... (read in full...)
Are first kisses important?
Q. Are first kisses important? I had mine when I was 7, and it was just a peck with a boy in my class. I now look back on it and it's a pretty cute first kiss even though there was no chemistry involved. A few months ago I got in a relationsh...
A. 20 January 2011: To me a kiss is a kiss and nothing more or less. If you kiss someone you love then it's great, but kissing someone for fun is ok too. It depends on who you are and what you think yourself. For me kisses are only important when they are given to ... (read in full...)
He's a sweet guy, he'd never cheat on my. But I don't feel any spark. What should I do?
Q. I really liked this guy for a while last year, and when I found out he liked me too; we started to see eachother. We've now been together for almost 2 months. However ever since we started being an item I haven't liked him; he's completely in love...
A. 20 January 2011: Don't try to force yourself into falling in love. But think about this for a good while. What is it you seek in relationships? What is it that made you want him in the first place? What has changed? Could it be that he is coming on too strong for ... (read in full...)
I can't get a new guy because I'm too fat. I lost my ex over it. Best dieting tips please?
Q. I want to diet but if I don't satisfy my hunger, I get migranes! Also, if I'm nervous or bored my stomach growls so loud, it's embarrasing!. I want to diet because my ex refuses to say I'm hot, or sexy because I'm so fat. And I can't get an...
A. 20 January 2011: If you get migraines unless you always eat then why aren't you taking medicine against the migraines? They do exist you know. And can't you diet without starving yourself?
I think perhaps you should ask your doctor about this. Going for long wal... (read in full...)
Was I wrong as I was not behaving professionally?
Q. I recently had a stomach infection. When I went to see my doctor, who knows my family very well, advised me to be hospitalized. He used to check my whole abdomen daily in the hospital and I never felt shied from him. He was also very friendly with ...
A. 20 January 2011: I think you need to calm yourself down here. It is your doctor who needs to behave professionally, not you. You were polite, you didn't do anything inappropriate, you were only ashamed of being touched by him and him seeing your nude skin. It's a ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my wife I cheated on her with over 30 prostitutes?
Q. I'm 35, my wife 36, we have 2 kids, married for 7 years. Before our kids born we have really great relationship and have sex every day. Sine she got pregnant the first kid her interest for sex declined sharply. No matter what I tried the most we can ...
A. 19 January 2011: I think you shouldn't tell her or push her to have an affair either. As it is she is aware that the marriage was falling to pieces, and if you wanted to tell her about seeing other women you should have done so before going. As it is I do not think ... (read in full...)
Do I have to tell this guy I'm seeing about my past sexual experience?
Q. Do i have to tell this guy im seeing about my past sexual relationships and experiences or does it not matter?... things have been going really well, and weve been getting to know each other, i just wondered if it was neccessary to tell him? He ...
A. 19 January 2011: Unless he asks, don't tell. Unless for some reason it's very important. Some people just don't want to know, and don't like to hear about the sexual past of the other person as it only gives them mental images they'd rather be without. So unless he ... (read in full...)
I'm thinking I wasn't the only guy she slept with when we started dating!
Q. My Dilemma: When I started dating my girlfriend, she told me that she didnt sleep with more than one guy at a time..... well, it took me 2 months to actually have sex!! I thought she was worth it... Now i know im stupid for doing this, s...
A. 19 January 2011: I think the more crucial question here is: do you trust her? If you trust her, did you have any reason to believe she was two timing you from the start? If you don't trust her... why are you with her?
Figure out if you want to trust her or not. ... (read in full...)
He tells alot of half truths
Q. im in love with my good male friend but i dont know how he feels. i met him in oct 2009 and we worked together for the last 18 months. i dont know what it is but he made me feel good about myself. i had come out of a really bad relationship the year ...
A. 18 January 2011: So far it sounds like he just appreciates your friendship. Have you asked him about the half truths? Could it be he is just ashamed of things from his past and doesn't want to let you know? Or perhaps he thinks it'd be inappropriate to give you too ... (read in full...)
26 year old man 18 year old female... WRONG ?????
Q. 26yr old Male, interested in 18yr old female O.k. so their is this very cute girl who works at a local coffee shop, I have been interested in her for some time now. She beat me to the punch, by friending me of Facebook. We have been talking for...
A. 18 January 2011: I'd say the age gap isn't too much actually. But, there's a but. You said she's not old enough to do anything yet such as drinking, or gamble or be an adult. Not that she'd gamble much anyway, I doubt, but the point is that you'd be limited. If she ... (read in full...)
I want to propose to my girlfriend but I think I cheated on her?
Q. I met my now girlfriend over a year ago. I am thinking about proposing here in the next few months. We met on a Friday night, hung out, ended up kissing at the end of the night and exchanged phone numbers. The following night after we met, I e...
A. 18 January 2011: It's not cheating. You had only met your now girlfriend then and had just exchanged phone numbers. So no, you weren't official with her yet, and it's not cheating then. The reason you feel bad about it now is because you wish you didn't do it, ... (read in full...)
Wondering if I've been played or if it's some sort of love triangle
Q. Ok, so this is quite a long story. I'm a 19 year old girl. Basically, last year I had a brief 'fling' with someone that I worked with ['boy 1']. We fell out, but are now really close friends. But through this I got closer to one of our mutual frien...
A. 18 January 2011: Boy number 1 has a girlfriend, and yet tries to kiss you. I think that tells you all you need to know about guy number 1. If he was truly your "friend" he'd not try and kiss you! I imagine boy number one is the true player here!
Try and talk to ... (read in full...)
This girl is hitting on me and I need more time, what should I do?
Q. I don't know, to be honest I have no idea at all what I'm thinking. You see there was this girl hitting on me in the campus, she started with a little chit chat on facebook then advance to text messages from the number she got from my friend. ...
A. 18 January 2011: First off: YOU never ruined that girls future. Don't think too highly of yourself, she was the one who made HER life decisions. Not you. In no way whatsoever were you ever responsible for her life decisions. You promised to never let that happen ... (read in full...)
Losing my hair at 17, what should I do?
Q. Unfortunately i am one of those people who start losing their hair already at a young age and i am not panicking around ,i already accepted the fact, and i know what i am going to do. So i will get a buzz cut or get bald completely. There are just a ...
A. 18 January 2011: I don't know about the rest of your questions, but I can answer this one: "another example girls like my long hair a lot ,em i gonna lose my attractivity if i get my hair off?"
You will probably not be attractive to THOSE girls anymore. But inst... (read in full...)
Losing my hair at 17, what should I do?
Q. Unfortunately i am one of those people who start losing their hair already at a young age and i am not panicking around ,i already accepted the fact, and i know what i am going to do. So i will get a buzz cut or get bald completely. There are just a ...
A. 18 January 2011: I... (read in full...)
Two long-term girlfriends, both in love, one pregnant - looks vs. personality
Q. I am in a bit of pickle situation and it's pretty deep and I don't know what to do now. I thought I could handle it and that the answer would present itself by way of circumstance, but this hasn't happened and now I'm in desperate need of help. ...
A. 12 January 2011: Never mind, I guess this is a lost cause as you don't understand what we've been telling you. And no you obviously do not understand what you have done wrong or you'd not be on here complaining and plotting, you'd be out there breaking up with the ... (read in full...)
Two long-term girlfriends, both in love, one pregnant - looks vs. personality
Q. I am in a bit of pickle situation and it's pretty deep and I don't know what to do now. I thought I could handle it and that the answer would present itself by way of circumstance, but this hasn't happened and now I'm in desperate need of help. ...
A. 12 January 2011: If you know already why do you keep arguing it?... (read in full...)
Two long-term girlfriends, both in love, one pregnant - looks vs. personality
Q. I am in a bit of pickle situation and it's pretty deep and I don't know what to do now. I thought I could handle it and that the answer would present itself by way of circumstance, but this hasn't happened and now I'm in desperate need of help. ...
A. 12 January 2011: I know you don't want ear bashing, but what did you honestly expect? That we would all sympathize with you and feel sorry for you? The ear bashing you get is for your own good, so you wont land in this situation again or do unjustice to any more ... (read in full...)
Two long-term girlfriends, both in love, one pregnant - looks vs. personality
Q. I am in a bit of pickle situation and it's pretty deep and I don't know what to do now. I thought I could handle it and that the answer would present itself by way of circumstance, but this hasn't happened and now I'm in desperate need of help. ...
A. 11 January 2011: I do try to be nice to all people, and I don't say this to be mean to you. Im sure deep down you are a great guy. But you need to face yourself in the mirror here! You ARE a lying cheating scumbag, and if you cry because you will have to break one ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
