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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Why are my stepsisters getting treated better than I am?
Q. Am I right to feel upset? My parents are divorced and my Dad remarried a year ago and suggested I go on holiday with him, his wife her kids and one of her kids boyfriend/fiance (she's only 16!), so there's 6 of them altogether. The plan for the...
A. 26 April 2011: What did your father reply? And would you have been comfortable sharing a room with one of the girls, meaning you will get a bed?
I just think your father doesn't see it as a problem for you to sleep on the couch. Couches, if made for being sl... (read in full...)
Why are my stepsisters getting treated better than I am?
Q. Am I right to feel upset? My parents are divorced and my Dad remarried a year ago and suggested I go on holiday with him, his wife her kids and one of her kids boyfriend/fiance (she's only 16!), so there's 6 of them altogether. The plan for the...
A. 26 April 2011: What did your father reply? And would you have been comfortable sharing a room with one of the girls, meaning you will get a bed?
I just think your father doesn't see it as a problem for you to sleep on the couch. Couches, if made for being sl... (read in full...)
He only wants to kiss or cuddle when he wants sex
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for only 5 months and the only time he wants to kiss or cuddle me is if when he wants sex. each time i say no he plays the guilt trip and says you would if you loved me, i just don't know whats best to do, end the ...
A. 25 April 2011: End the relationship. He is immature, respect-less, and using you. "You will if you love me", next time you hear anyone say that don't take it. He is the one who doesn't love you, because if he did... he wouldn't be emotionally blackmailing you just ... (read in full...)
Why are my stepsisters getting treated better than I am?
Q. Am I right to feel upset? My parents are divorced and my Dad remarried a year ago and suggested I go on holiday with him, his wife her kids and one of her kids boyfriend/fiance (she's only 16!), so there's 6 of them altogether. The plan for the...
A. 25 April 2011: Did you tell him why you wouldn't come along, and tell him that you do not like to sleep on a couch, and that you will come along if you get a proper bed to sleep on? In my very personal opinion you are asking for special attention. But t... (read in full...)
What do use for lubricant?
Q. Ok so me and my Gf wanna try anal sex,but we dont have lubricant. She does have vaseline, and Bio Oil (vitamin E skincare tissue oil). Could we use any one of these?...
A. 25 April 2011: You should buy lubricant that is meant to be used for sex, not any of what you mentioned. Use a condom as well, and take it slow. You can use saliva if you do not have a way to get proper lubricant. ... (read in full...)
My best friend may have herpes, does this mean I could too? How can I help her through this?
Q. So my best friend just got out of this long relationship. They were together for almost 5 years. He is a good person to be friends with, but not a good boyfriend. He was really mean to her. Anyway, there is this guy that we used to hang out with ...
A. 25 April 2011: Yes you could get it from sharing food with her, drinks with her etc. http://www.emedicinehealth.com/oral_herpes/article_em.htm Herpes is not a death sentence. It is shocking at first to have any kind of STI, it is scary. But herpes is one o... (read in full...)
Should I feel guilty for loving him but getting over him?
Q. I need to get over a guy and stop feeling guilty. When I was almost 15 pretty much my bestfriend who was 20 asked me out. I was stupid and naïve and said yes. Things progressed out in our relationship and when I was almost 16 I ran away to live with ...
A. 25 April 2011: You wanted to be the same for him, and you sacrificed a lot for him, you did a lot for him, you are now ridden with guilt and why? Because he wanted something that was unrealistic, and something that in itself would change you and not let you be ... (read in full...)
When does a girlfiend or boyfriend become a priority?
Q. I've been dating this guy for a little over 4 months now. We both work full time jobs and I go to school full time and he's always doing something that takes up a bulk of his free time too. We see each other maybe 2-3 times a week for a few hours at ...
A. 25 April 2011: If you never was his priority you never will be either. These things don't "happen", nor should they "go away". Honeymoon phase or not, if you are in a relationship you must prioritize that relationship, always. If not it sounds like he might not ... (read in full...)
If am straight, then why am I fantasizing about girls?
Q. So, I've always known im straight. Ive had boyfriends and im sexually active. I know I want to be with a man but lately girls are becoming sexually attractive to me. Like i dont want to be in a relationship with a women but i'm wondering what it ...
A. 25 April 2011: Could be both, could be none. Could be you developing your tastes and learning to appreciate the good looks of women. Waning a woman for sexual pleasures, without wanting a relationship, is not that unheard of. Doesn't mean you are gay, but what ... (read in full...)
I don't get turned on by "hot" guys and my heart never pounded with my ex-bf. Could this mean I am gay?
Q. I am really confused with the way i like people. My friends they see these guys that are tall dark and muscular and they pounce on them like a cat. I on the other hand do not find those types of guys attractive. Ive always thought it was w...
A. 25 April 2011: People are different. That is basically it. You don't have to be gay, or have something wrong with you, just because you don't do or think every bit the same as your friends. You have a different taste in boys, nothing wrong with that. But more ... (read in full...)
Should I get together with this guy who's separated from his wife and has a kid?
Q. Alright.. I'm not sure what I should do... I like this guy, he likes me. He's separated from his wife and they're getting a divorce, he has a kid. I don't know if I should let the relationship happen. I know him through a cousin I'm close to. She's ...
A. 25 April 2011: I'm sorry, I wrote that he was older than you, but noticed later that you didn't mention his age. It was a simple assumption since if he was your age and divorced that would ring alarm bells (gets married young and divorces young signals that he ... (read in full...)
Should I get together with this guy who's separated from his wife and has a kid?
Q. Alright.. I'm not sure what I should do... I like this guy, he likes me. He's separated from his wife and they're getting a divorce, he has a kid. I don't know if I should let the relationship happen. I know him through a cousin I'm close to. She's ...
A. 25 April 2011: Do you want to be with a divorced man who is older than you and become a step-mom to his kid? If you want a family of your own, do you want to be his second wife, and have your children have a half-sibling? If you have nothing against this the... (read in full...)
I'm bi, but I am still nervous about dating girls! What can I do?
Q. I'm attracted to guys and girls. I consider myself bisexual. I wanna be with both I have no problem with having sexual relations with a guy because I know my penis can become erected. But is different with a girl because I'm scared to get a...
A. 25 April 2011: Do you want a relationship, or do you want sex? That is the question you must ask yourself. If you want a relationship then do not focus so much on the sexual part, if you will become erect or not. If the sexual attraction is there, then YES you ... (read in full...)
Was that phone sex?
Q. Okay soo....I have no idea what happened with my boyfriend and I, but I think we may have had phone sex. We are very spiritual and we feel spiritually connected to each other. I was lying in bed and he was in his car, and we were on the phone ver...
A. 25 April 2011: No, not phone sex. But you sound like you had an intimate moment together, which is always nice, sex or no sex.
Phone sex in general is when you touch yourself and talk dirty on the phone at the same time. If your boyfriend was masturba... (read in full...)
Should I feel guilty for loving him but getting over him?
Q. I need to get over a guy and stop feeling guilty. When I was almost 15 pretty much my bestfriend who was 20 asked me out. I was stupid and naïve and said yes. Things progressed out in our relationship and when I was almost 16 I ran away to live with ...
A. 25 April 2011: Im concerned for you, but I see this story a bit different from you. You are going through a lot of emotional experiences now, and as a teenager feelings are explosive and new, and even more passionate and on edge than when you are older and more ... (read in full...)
My wife had a promiscuous past before we married...and now she is frigid, and it's driving me crazy!! What to do??
Q. This is my problem...my wife has a "colorful" past. I never asked or pretended to be interested in knowing. But she came up to me and told me. I felt somewhat "let down" but never I repeat never held it against her or treated her differently. I ...
A. 20 April 2011: I still think that her reasons are more excuses than reasons. She might not enjoy doing the things in question because she has tried them out in the past, but then again if she did enjoy it she would have been doing it with you already and it'd be ... (read in full...)
Ideas to make my sex life more fun and enjoyable for both of us....
Q. Please help me, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend and after that we have been having sex everytime we have a chance but this las time my boyfriend asked me what would I like him to do do for me or that we should try something neew, and that he ...
A. 19 April 2011: He wont be bored with you. Just be honest with him and tell him that because you have no experience you do not know what to do. Im thinking he doesn't have a lot of experience either, or is overly polite, since he asked you instead of just doing ... (read in full...)
I'm 13 and dating a 20 year old, my friends are telling me to be cautious. Please help!
Q. Hey everybody.. I want some advice I am dating a 20 year old and I am 13... He is very sweet but I'm still scared because all my friends are telling me to be careful. He said " no matter how long u want to wait to loose ur virginity I will wai...
A. 19 April 2011: Don't have sex with him until you are married to him, and do not marry until you are at least 20 years of age. Do not let him see you naked or touch your private areas either, as it is illegal to do so. ... (read in full...)
I had melanoma on my penis and had to have it amputated. Ladies how would you deal with this if it happened to your partner?
Q. Last year I was diagnosed with melanoma on my penis. To save my life, I had to have my penis amputated. So far I've recovered well. I've seen tons of trolls on sites claiming to be 18 and having penile cancer (virtually unheard of in young men) but ...
A. 19 April 2011: I would handle it better if it happened to my husband (not that Im married). If it happened to a boyfriend it would be different, because with a boyfriend you never know if he and you would have lasted anyway, if you understand. Unless it is a long ... (read in full...)
How can I lose weight on my limited food options and budget?
Q. I am aware this is not a diet or healthy eating site but I need help. I quite literally have no money anymore (don't ask long story), I cant afford to buy my own food and drink so I have to eat whats available at home. Which isn't much, we h...
A. 19 April 2011: Lay off the breakfast cereals too, they are high in sugars and fat. Just check the box. Even if they claim to be healthy, most of them really aren't. ... (read in full...)
How can I lose weight on my limited food options and budget?
Q. I am aware this is not a diet or healthy eating site but I need help. I quite literally have no money anymore (don't ask long story), I cant afford to buy my own food and drink so I have to eat whats available at home. Which isn't much, we h...
A. 19 April 2011: Cut away the fat from what ever is served, don't eat the sauce, stick to the veggies and potatoes and so on. There is plenty of exercises to do at home, just run a quick google for the body part you wish to work on and there will be several options ... (read in full...)
My wife had a promiscuous past before we married...and now she is frigid, and it's driving me crazy!! What to do??
Q. This is my problem...my wife has a "colorful" past. I never asked or pretended to be interested in knowing. But she came up to me and told me. I felt somewhat "let down" but never I repeat never held it against her or treated her differently. I ...
A. 19 April 2011: Normal experimentation... it is odd that she isn't up for that, because things like different positions give different types of pleasure and joy, for her as well as you. I understand her not wanting anal sex as that typically is unpleasant, but ... (read in full...)
My wife had a promiscuous past before we married...and now she is frigid, and it's driving me crazy!! What to do??
Q. This is my problem...my wife has a "colorful" past. I never asked or pretended to be interested in knowing. But she came up to me and told me. I felt somewhat "let down" but never I repeat never held it against her or treated her differently. I ...
A. 19 April 2011: I don't think you are angling this right. I understand your frustration, but attack the issue from a different stand and you might get further. It is not her colourful past that is keeping her cold and not interested in experimenting. People who ... (read in full...)
My friend says he wants to date me...now it's weird hanging around with him!
Q. One of my friends told me he was starting to like like me, and now i find it weird to hang out around him. what should i do?...
A. 19 April 2011: Do you like like him back? If so tell him you can go on a date with him. If you do not like him back tell him so and that you would rather keep the friendship instead.
Then just give it some time and things will get easier.... (read in full...)
Partner wants to get married but I'm afraid of taking that step
Q. My partner wants to get married and I am afraid of taking that step because I’m so worried about the emotional and financial consequences of being married to someone who is divorced with 2 daughters and loads of responsibilities as far as that is ...
A. 19 April 2011: His reasonings are crazy. You will sort it out as you go along and because you love one another? What fantasy world does he live in?? That will not go well at all, I can promise you that. No, stick to your guns and follow your instincts on thi... (read in full...)
We went on vacation together but he didn't post any photos of me!
Q. Hi, would like some clarity pls.i went on vacation with my boyfreind,had a lovely time together,but im quite disturbed by the fact that he posted all the photos of our vacation,and he dint include any of me or of him,i also saw other vacations he ...
A. 19 April 2011: Some people have a sense of privacy and don't feel like exposing private pictures to the entire world. Some things are just private. Instead of taking offense you should accept that he doesn't want your relationship pushed up in peoples faces, but ... (read in full...)
How do I stop him doing this without hurting his ego?
Q. Basically, I love the guy I'm seeing, he's funny, charming and just lovely. But I have a problem, when it comes to 'getting to it' he is like really forceful, like when he plays with my breasts he squeezes them really tightly and if I'm honest i...
A. 19 April 2011: Tell him that he is too rough. Why would that hurt his ego? The only thing that would hurt is if you string him along and pretend to like it when you don't, that'd make a fool out of him. Be honest. Next time you have sex, tell him he needs to be ... (read in full...)
Have I lost my virginity? And are birth control pills effective?
Q. how can i get to know whether i have lost my virginity??/is there any symptoms??? 3 days ago me and my boyfriend was engaged sexually and few drops of blood came out from me. im not sure whether i was really went through an intercourse? as the ...
A. 19 April 2011: Birth control pills are one of the most efficient methods of birth control. If the penis was inside of you, no matter how much or how little, you are no longer a virgin. Penis in vagina = intercourse. No matter how long time, how short, how deep in ... (read in full...)
Everyone I know is married and some with kids, where did I go wrong?
Q. My sisters (1 older than me and 1 younger) are both married, one with children, one of my friends has been married 3 times and has 4 children, another is married with 5 children. It seems that the women of my age I meet in business are also all ...
A. 19 April 2011: You went to university. You probably also practice safe sex. In my book that isn't "going wrong", it just means actions are controlled, and not forced or left up to so called "accidents". Not to be mean, but my guess is that your friends and sisters ... (read in full...)
Could 2 virgins get an STD?
Q. Hey everyone. I had a quick question. If two virgins have sex with each other for the first time and they have oral sex and all these other sexual stuff, is there any way you can get an STD? Me and my bf are both virgins and have never done anything ...
A. 19 April 2011: Highly unlikely that you have any STI's without being aware of it. But like it has been mentioned, some things are easily caught, even if you aren't having direct sex. Accidental touching, rubbing, as a child or adult, things get spread. Highly ... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and I want to ask about the contraceptive pill. I have no idea what to say to the Doctor. Can anybody advise me?
Q. I'm 16 and I'm going to the doctors tomorrow to get myself on the contraceptive pill. Thing is I'm going alone. My cousin had agreed to come with me, but is not now going to come with me. I'm really nervous. What exactly will the Doctor want to k...
A. 19 April 2011: Before getting a prescription for birth control pills, the doctor will ask if you are a virgin. They typically do not hand it out to virgins, but only to people who are in a sexual relationship or have sex already. It is weird, I know, because if ... (read in full...)
Do I masturbate too much?
Q. Is once a day too much to masturbate for a 15 year old girl? ...
A. 19 April 2011: If you don't get tired then it's not too much. ... (read in full...)
What gives him the impression that I'm perfect?
Q. Several weeks ago, I registered in a dating site that's fairly popular among college students, graduates and working class professionals (bet 18-30 years old). I figured I give it a try considering I haven't had success finding a suitable mate ...
A. 19 April 2011: I think he's just saying it to warm you up to him. It's a compliment like saying "your eyes are like the stars in the night-sky", even though you and him both know this isn't true.
But it could also be a warning sign. If he genuinely thinks y... (read in full...)
Do you think girls who go with guys to a strip club are trashy?
Q. Guys, do you think it's trashy for a girl to accompany a group of guys to the strip club? I think it's a certain type of girl who is willing to go along on this "adventure," and I dont't think she's the type you wanna bring home to mom/MAKE the ...
A. 19 April 2011: I have no idea if that should make a difference? A girl going to a strip club, alone, with a boyfriend, with other female friends or with male friends, I think all you can assume is that she actually enjoys going there. And if she actually enjoys it ... (read in full...)
How do girls masturbate?
Q. hey, i'm 14 years old and like to masturbate but recently i want to try something different to my usual technique of 'humping' my chair. i don't want to use toys or finger myself. what else can i do? ...
A. 19 April 2011: Shower head. Aim the water at your clitoris and enjoy. Do not push anything up inside you, simply use the pressure of the water on your clitoris for stimulation. If you can not feel enough, either increase the water pressure, or screw off the shower ... (read in full...)
Do you think girls who go with guys to a strip club are trashy?
Q. Guys, do you think it's trashy for a girl to accompany a group of guys to the strip club? I think it's a certain type of girl who is willing to go along on this "adventure," and I dont't think she's the type you wanna bring home to mom/MAKE the ...
A. 19 April 2011: I went to a strip club. The guy I went with was one who kept talking about marriage. Whether or not he was serious I have no idea, but on the face of things he wanted marriage. He had introduced me to mom and dad, and we lived together. We went to a ... (read in full...)
How can I get enough protein on a vegetarian diet?
Q. I'm a strict vegetarian (been brought up this way) so I don't eat fish, eggs or anything animal based. Anyways I really really need protein in my diet! But I can't think of what foods to have as I'm really limited for choice... I can have dairy but ...
A. 18 April 2011: You're not a vegetarian, you are a vegan. Vegetarians eat eggs. Vegans don't. But it appears you are in a mixture here, why aren't eggs allowed while milk and other diary products are? Doesn't make sense.
Eggs aren't with a chicken inside. ... (read in full...)
How can I stop thinking of my friend romantically?
Q. Okay, soooo I'm attracted to my friend. Really attracted. I think about her all the time. She's gorgeous, funny, smart. I need some advice on how to NOT think about her as much as I do. I asked her out the other day to sushi and she said yes, we...
A. 18 April 2011: "Do you want to go on a date with me?"
It's pretty straight forward, but keeping it simple is the best way to go. Be brave, ask her in a direct way!... (read in full...)
Penis size insecurity...help me out here!!
Q. Hey people out there I'm a 16 year old guy and i have a little problem that i need advice on. So this not easy for me to talk about but going to any way. Well the problem is i have a very small penis of only 4in when erect and 1 to 2 inches when ...
A. 18 April 2011: First off all, teenagers pick at each other for anything. A flaccid penis size doesn't say anything at all about how the erect size is. So making fun of you because of that is just stupid. I was made fun of as a teenager as well, and I know things ... (read in full...)
He won't respond to my text messages, he doesn't pick up his phone and I haven't seen him in 3 days because of World of Warcraft!!!
Q. So my boyfriend just started playing world of warcraft with his brother. They used to played it, but my bf quit because uni started and there physically was not enough time. He told me he used to stay up til 5am playing WoW during the summer and ...
A. 18 April 2011: Talk to him about it and set some boundaries. I understand you all too well, as I once was in a relationship with a man who I claim was a gaming addict. To WoW. Thanks to him ignoring me, canceling our plans, putting me second to WoW, I can't stand ... (read in full...)
Am I being too clingy?
Q. so i met this girl a few times.. at a party and at a bar.. little chit chats here and there. nothing special. one night i saw her again at a bar so i went up to her being nice and just started a chat. then i sat down and she came up and started ...
A. 18 April 2011: I think she just wanted you for a one night thing, and not for a sexual relationship. Perhaps she didn't think you were a good sexual match for her, and thats why she doesn't want to continue seeing you? Or perhaps she just wanted that one night, ... (read in full...)
Must a guy make the first move?
Q. I have known a girl for sometime now. she likes me but pretends she don't. I want to be sure she likes me before making a move. Must a guy make the first move?...
A. 17 April 2011: The guys doesn't always have to make the first move, but someone needs to. And if she doesn't, and you don't, then nothing will ever happen.
Take a shot at it and be brave! ... (read in full...)
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