| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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Must a guy make the first move?
Q. I have known a girl for sometime now. she likes me but pretends she don't. I want to be sure she likes me before making a move. Must a guy make the first move?...
A. 17 April 2011: The guys doesn't always have to make the first move, but someone needs to. And if she doesn't, and you don't, then nothing will ever happen.
Take a shot at it and be brave! ... (read in full...)
We're great friends, but how do I stop myself from falling in love?
Q. ok, so i haven't talk to this boy in ages because i tried to ask him out and he rejected me. i have become great friends with him but i do not want to fall in love with him again because it might ruin our friendship, what should i do to stop myself ...
A. 17 April 2011: Are you positive he is aware that you like him that way? If you were nervous when you hinted at it the first time it might be he doesn't understand that you like him that way. Im just saying this because I told my now boyfriend that I loved him ... (read in full...)
How do I avoid men who are only after one nighters and find someone who wants a serious relationship?
Q. My problem is this, I have been trying for over a year to find a bf im over being single but i only seem able to find men that only want one night stands. Sometimes i think i've found a potential one but they end up not interested in somethi...
A. 15 April 2011: Have you tried to tell the guys what you are looking for?... (read in full...)
Views on kids before marriage?
Q. Hey Agony's :) I just wanted to get the older and younger generations views on premarital children. I see that a lot of people nowadays are having children before even thinking of marriage. I was just curious as to what all of your opinions wer...
A. 15 April 2011: Men in Norway don't want to marry and do not see the point of it. They think having kids with a woman shows enough commitment, and once they have kids and a home together they are settled with that and see marriage as a waste of money and time and ... (read in full...)
How do I avoid men who are only after one nighters and find someone who wants a serious relationship?
Q. My problem is this, I have been trying for over a year to find a bf im over being single but i only seem able to find men that only want one night stands. Sometimes i think i've found a potential one but they end up not interested in somethi...
A. 15 April 2011: Cerberus is right, and to back him up a bit I don't even think it's wrong that that is how people think. Not only guys think that way, I know I think that way as well. A man who agrees to have sex with me without a proper relationship first isn't ... (read in full...)
I cant make him climax! Help!
Q. Hey everyone, this is a little embarassing, but i have no one else to ask! Im in a relationship with an older guy, i lost my virginity to him, and i cant make him climax. Its so frustrating. He gets hard really quickly and says that im really good ...
A. 15 April 2011: Be patient with him and enjoy what you have, even if you can not make him climax. I am guessing all he needs is time, to get close to you, get used to you and your touch, and to feel loved and not pressured. Have you been able to climax with him? If ... (read in full...)
Advice on buying sex toys.
Q. I am seeing someone and I want to buy some toys for me to use when we video call between our visits to each other. Thing is I have never bought and used sex toys before, and I really don't know where to start or what to think about getting, can ...
A. 15 April 2011: What do you plan to do with these toys? I think you ought to think about what type of use you are planning first, do you want to make a porn? Do you want to just look sexy? Do you want to give a tease? What are you aiming for exactly?
Could... (read in full...)
Is it normal to want to see him every day?
Q. Is it normal that i want to see my boyfriend everyday? and that I get quite upset when he cancels and so we cant *he doesnt do it very often at all* I never used to see my ex this often and I delt with it fine :| I would go 2 weeks without seeing h...
A. 15 April 2011: You're in love. It normal! Some people don't have that need, some do. When you are in love that need tends to be there, but some have this need no matter how far into a relationship they are.
I see my boyfriend every other day or around that. Ra... (read in full...)
How do I avoid men who are only after one nighters and find someone who wants a serious relationship?
Q. My problem is this, I have been trying for over a year to find a bf im over being single but i only seem able to find men that only want one night stands. Sometimes i think i've found a potential one but they end up not interested in somethi...
A. 15 April 2011: Don't have one night stands. That way you avoid the ones who want one nighters. Don't sleep with men on the first date. Actually, don't sleep with them at all until a few weeks into an official and exclusive relationship. Preferably wait until you ... (read in full...)
All I want to do after work is sleep or watch TV! How can I change this?
Q. Hi, I am tired all the time. I get home and all I feel like is eat, watch TV and sleep. My new job is extremely demanding and tiresome. I don't want to leave the house or do anything. I don't enjoy going out much as I used to. My BF has al...
A. 15 April 2011: Mild depression could be one thing. Eating right could be the answer though. Your body goes into a depressive state if it is not getting the right nutrients. Some nutrients are needed to keep your mood up, simply. Iron is needed to stay energized ... (read in full...)
What is your opinion of someone who has quite a few piercings on their body?
Q. I currently have my first and seconds (lobe piercings), and my helix done (upper ear cartilage piercing) and in my left ear first piercing (lobe), i have a 3mm fleshy (stretcher) And i want: -My thirds -My tongue -My nose -My belly ...
A. 15 April 2011: If it is a young person with piercings, like a teenager, I would think they are desperate to fit into some crowd and look cool, and I would think they are insecure. No offense, just what I'd initially think. If they are older, say 20-35 I would ... (read in full...)
She lied about what happened at a party when she was drunk
Q. I'm nearly 18. Months ago, my girlfriend [just turned 18] went to a house party with some friends, and I couldnt go because I had work the next day. I got a number of drunken texts from her the next day which were sent during the night, one telling ...
A. 15 April 2011: It sounds as she was just drunk and being wild and crazy. Some guys are ok with girls that like, some guys want calmer girls. I don't know what kind of "spin the bottle" they played, I've played spin the bottle without clothes coming off. It's a ... (read in full...)
I love my girlfriend but she's too fat. How do I break up?
Q. me and my gf got together about 3 years ago. we both weighed 17 stone. we had a good relationship but in the last 12 months we said we would go on a diet. Now i weight 13 stone. she however weighs 18 and 1/2 stone. i am attracting the attention of ...
A. 15 April 2011: How to break up isn't a hard one to answer though. To break up with a person you simply tell them you want to break up. I don't see how that is a challenge, and thought it'd be easier if the poster actually thinks about the reasons for why he wants ... (read in full...)
Do I confront him to what my psychic said or do I keep quiet and say nothing?
Q. i am at my wits end. I just dont know how to go about this situation, i am hoping i get some advice on what to do here i go .. I saw a pyschic the other day, and he was spot on about a lot of things that he could not possibly know of. but the one ...
A. 15 April 2011: Don't ask questions you don't want to hear the answer to. That is a good rule to follow. Now your psychic could be right. He could be wrong. You probably assume your man is having an affair, but that might not be it. It could be something else, ... (read in full...)
Is it okay to be smooth with women when your committed to your lover?
Q. What level off flirting is acceptable? Is it acceptable to flirt when you are in a fully committed relationship? I ask this question because i have no intention of cheating or getting with anyone other than the one i love. However saying that ...
A. 15 April 2011: Don't flirt in front of your partner. Don't flirt openly in front of your partners close friends and family.
Be your own judge of where the line goes. Excessive flirting is disrespectful to your partner, even if they are not around to see it. Flir... (read in full...)
My BF’s friend has an open relationship and is trying to influence my BF to do the same. It’s a mess. Please help.
Q. I have two friends who are married. My long-term (over 4 years) boyfriend and I met them about 2 years ago and we quickly became good friends with them. We would vacation with them, hang out in our spare time at our house or theirs, and so on. ...
A. 14 April 2011: You said you're not supposed to know. You are supposed to know. You are in a relationship with your boyfriend, his loyalty lies with YOU. K should know that. Don't be scared to talk about it then, or don't try to pretend you do not know. Talk to ... (read in full...)
Who is wrong here?
Q. boyfriend cheated on me now he cant have any female friends. And im not supposed to have any either but on xbox live im new to it and a guy on there messaged me and said hey so i said hi. My boyfriend got pissed because i talked to a guy and hes not ...
A. 14 April 2011: You are both in the wrong. It is wrong to give rules for your partner on who they can talk to. Either he is a grown up or he isn't, either he can make a judgment himself or he can't. He proved to not be able to stay faithful, and the follow-up to ... (read in full...)
Should I be his mother, or lay off?
Q. My fiance is starting to really pissed me off, and making me second guess my future with him! I am so TIRED of having to be his "mother" in EVERYTHING! Whenever I have to go to work, and hes home all day, I have to write a little list of things ...
A. 14 April 2011: If he goes down the shithole you don't go down too. You're not married to him, thats why. He's not your responsibility! And to be blunt, he's not ready to get married yet. So for yours, and his, best interest: stay engaged for some years. Have a ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend liked sex with her ex better because he was "larger". How do a I deal with this?
Q. I know a lot of people on this board are tired of the never-ending penis size questions, but please bear with me. The answers to most questions are "it's how you use it" and "women don't care about size", etc. But, what if you're in a situation ...
A. 14 April 2011: Shame on you for snooping, but to get to the case: sex isn't what makes a good relationship. Good sex comes with communication, experience, love for each other, being a passionate lover etc etc. It is about how you use it, not the size of it. She ... (read in full...)
First time and it really hurt. Is this just the way it is?
Q. me and my boyfriend have been together for a year now, and recently decided to have sex. however, i had to stop because it hurt a lot i know it is meant to hurt but does it hurt that much?! also when i went to the toilet it hurt to wee, is this rig...
A. 14 April 2011: And just to add something for comparison. I once had a boyfriend who was very thick. He wasn't my first boyfriend, and I wasn't a virgin, but he was still so thick that it hurt like hell when we first had sex. I had to ask him to stop as I couldn't ... (read in full...)
First time and it really hurt. Is this just the way it is?
Q. me and my boyfriend have been together for a year now, and recently decided to have sex. however, i had to stop because it hurt a lot i know it is meant to hurt but does it hurt that much?! also when i went to the toilet it hurt to wee, is this rig...
A. 14 April 2011: First times you have sex typically hurt, yes. It will also hurt to pee because the urine gets in contact with your vagina, which will be sore.
You need to take it very slow with your boyfriend, and make sure you are well lubricated. If you have... (read in full...)
I'm afraid being monogamous will make me feel sexually repressed
Q. I am in a relationship with the best possible guy i could be matched for. We are now also doing bible study and im connecting to myself spiritually. But im noticing my fear of my need of wanting to be intimately involved with other men. I used to be ...
A. 14 April 2011: So being promiscuous is your dark days, where you felt sexually repressed, unhappy and unhealthy. Yet, you want to continue with "physically healing" men? So you want to continue to be promiscuous?
Men aren't helped by a woman sleeping with the... (read in full...)
What can I take or do to reduce the size of my breasts?
Q. Hi cupid friend! I will really appreciate if you all can find the solution to my problem and it goes... There is this guy i love and he really love me too, but the problem is that he complain how big my breast is. Please help me, what should i take ...
A. 14 April 2011: If you do not have a medical problem with your breasts, such as them being so big that it hurts your back, then ask your man to please respect your body more. You are who you are, not some sculpture for him to complain about and make changes to!
... (read in full...)
I love my girlfriend but she's too fat. How do I break up?
Q. me and my gf got together about 3 years ago. we both weighed 17 stone. we had a good relationship but in the last 12 months we said we would go on a diet. Now i weight 13 stone. she however weighs 18 and 1/2 stone. i am attracting the attention of ...
A. 14 April 2011: You want to dump her simply because you are getting offers elsewhere? So you were only with her to begin with because you couldn't get anything else?
The woman hasn't changed much, you however have gotten a big head. Don't think you're better t... (read in full...)
What are the good things about being single?
Q. I realised yesterday that I've mentioned to one of my friends three times in the past few months that I miss being in a relationship. I was a bit shocked at myself because I don't want to turn into one of those people who feel as if they need to be ...
A. 13 April 2011: If you are single you don't end up in all those arguments about what he did that you didn't like, what you did that he didn't like, what he thinks you should do or not do etc, who hurt whom, who didn't do the dishes, all his mess etc. You basically ... (read in full...)
Masturbation every night. Should I get help?
Q. Hello, I'm 16 and I masturbate every night. I was wondering if this is common or should I get some help? Please help...
A. 13 April 2011: Unless it hurts and you feel like you can't stop or take a day off, then it's no problem. What about you take a day off to see the difference? When you take a day off from it, if you feel an urge to do it, a need to do it, you might have gotten ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't get to know me
Q. I feel that my boyfriend isn't *that* interested in me as an individual. My boyfriend doesn't know when my birthday is. He doesn't ask, so I never get a chance to tell. What I'm surprised is he doesn't seem to realize that "miraculously", ...
A. 13 April 2011: So why are you with him? I can't see how this makes you happy, I would feel neglected and worn down long before 3 years had passed. To not remember a date, like a birthday, is a common thing. Many people struggle with remembering details like that. ... (read in full...)
I don't want my fears to ruin this relationship
Q. I am with someone that i really care about and I am so afraid that I will ruin it again. When having sex with him (or anyone else in my past) I get terrible flashbacks of an abusive relationship I was in. There are certain positions that cause me to ...
A. 13 April 2011: They leave after 30 minutes, being fed up? Then they didn't care for you. A boyfriend who actually gave a damn, at whatever tiny level, wouldn't just leave or get fed up with you when you so obviously aren't doing well. What kind of men do you ... (read in full...)
Bored with being bored with my marriage!
Q. Iv'e been with my husband for nearly 12 years. we met aged 19 and within two months we were engaged, within eight months we were living together, two years after that we were married. We now have two beautiful sons who are 6 and 2 years. I love my ...
A. 13 April 2011: What do you do yourself for a living? Are you a stay at home mom? Have you looked into day care centers to get yourself out of the house? A change in your daily routine could be just what you need, because it gets boring to do the same thing every ... (read in full...)
Cheated but it felt great!
Q. Ok... so I'm in a long distance realtionship with my boyfriend. We've been together for three years now and I'm actually kind of getting bored. I'm 23 years old, I love him, respect and cherish him. However he is not here, where I need him. LDR just ...
A. 13 April 2011: Leave your boyfriend. You are long distance, and somewhat in an open relationship as well. Sounds like you experience the relationship as a chain around your ankle, and not something you get energy and support from. You don't gain anything from the ... (read in full...)
Could anyone with therapy experience share their story?
Q. Hello everyone! I would like to ask for some advice about therapy, particularly from those who have personal experiences and from those who have a loved one experiencing it. I hope to seek professional advice in the next coming weeks to deal wi...
A. 13 April 2011: I sought out therapy when I was 19, like yourself. First visit I ever had with a therapist was at 16 or 17 though, I got sent there more or less without asking to go myself. That very first session was fruitless as I didn't understand why I had been ... (read in full...)
Should I change my style to get a girlfriend?
Q. Okay well my mother has brought to my attention that i will never meet a girl unless i start dressing better. See im 18 and i wear funny graphic t-shirts and shorts all year round(I live in NY and i still wear shorts in the winter). I can see her ...
A. 12 April 2011: I agree with your mother. Like I just said in another question on here today, guys would benefit from looking after themselves a bit more! Do some grooming and you will see the ladies will find you more easy on the eye. If you wear the same thing ... (read in full...)
Waiting until marriage, but would like some ideas on 'mixing it up."
Q. My boyfriend and I want to wait until marriage to have sex. We do everything else, but want some new ideas. What are some things to do to mix it up a bit?...
A. 12 April 2011: What is "everything else"? You do know that oral sex, anal sex etc is sex right? If you do those things you aren't exactly waiting until marriage with sex. In addition, if the only thing you are waiting with is intercourse, then I can tell you that ... (read in full...)
Why is it that it's still a man's world, every porn mag is for men, every nude scene in a movie is of a woman? When are woman ever truly going to be treated as equals?
Q. I'm sick of the world that we live in, the expectations and pressures on women today, the young girls who suffer and have low self esteem due to the images we see everywhere, in films, magazines, billboards etc.. Why is it that it's still a mans ...
A. 12 April 2011: Perhaps not exactly on topic, but on a lighter note, women do focus a lot on our looks and try to be attractive for the men. Which I think is great in itself and not exactly a sign of us being submissive or anything, or the world being the mans ... (read in full...)
Why is it that it's still a man's world, every porn mag is for men, every nude scene in a movie is of a woman? When are woman ever truly going to be treated as equals?
Q. I'm sick of the world that we live in, the expectations and pressures on women today, the young girls who suffer and have low self esteem due to the images we see everywhere, in films, magazines, billboards etc.. Why is it that it's still a mans ...
A. 12 April 2011: Did you watch the movie "Troy" with Brad Pitt?
Enjoy. ... (read in full...)
Calling friends pet names?
Q. Hi. I was wondering do you think the calling your friends pet names (baby, sweetie, honey etc) destorys the intimacy of a relationship and or the meaning of the words?...
A. 12 April 2011: If there was a meaning of the word "baby" it would be infant, which clearly the person called such a name isn't. So no, I do not think it destroys the intimacy of it or the word itself as it is already being used for anything from lovers to pets.
... (read in full...)
Am I over-thinking this?
Q. Recently, my boyfriend has started getting closer to one of his friends. Let's call him Tom. After learning that he was accepted to med school, Tom decided to throw a party at a 21+ bar. He invited my bf but since I am not 21, I was not able to ...
A. 12 April 2011: Don't worry, at least not yet. It's been a couple of meetings, and he is surprised and happy for his friend. Maybe even a little shocked that he was able to catch a nice lady? I know this is a silly example, but imagine if Tom had gotten a new car ... (read in full...)
Thirteen and oversexed. Should I ask my brother to buy me a toy?
Q. I am 13 and I want to have sex but I am obviously to young and I get horny a lot and I don't know what to do I finger myself sometimes and I use a small toy or a hair brush it is kind is satisfying but I want a vibrator but I don't want to ask my ...
A. 11 April 2011: Use the shower. The pressure of the water against your clitoris will give you all the relief you need. Then once you get old enough you can buy a vibrator. You should be very careful with inserting objects into your vagina. Always put a condom on ... (read in full...)
Married, in my thirties, and still having crushes. Afraid I will act on them Please advise.
Q. I am married, in my thirties and generally a very good, level headed and kind person. The issue is, I have crushes. ALL the time. I don't act on them at all, but it makes me feel really guilty and worried that maybe if given the right ...
A. 11 April 2011: Are there any common traits with the people you experience crushes on? Do they last long, all the same length, one always replacing another etc? Any patterns?
Looking at what sort of crushes these are, if they follow a harmless pattern you do n... (read in full...)
He heard lies from someone else about me and now calls me a prostitute! To make it worse, I am pregnant with his baby and he wants to take it away from me.....
Q. Hi friends , I am a 24yrs old university graduate, and 6 months pregnant, but the father of my baby has left me, he broke up with me over the phone and called me all sort of names. he even calls me a prostitute,..the relationship was a very smooth ...
A. 11 April 2011: When you meet him and his parents be quiet and only say what is needed. Do not say anything else or respond to threats or accusations. Ignore it if he calls you names, he is only trying to get a reaction out of you. If possible, let your parents do ... (read in full...)
Can one really fall in love at 15?
Q. Hello! Apparently, this time I wanted to consult the experts if it is normal to start falling in love at the tender age of 15? One of my good friends, Jen, said that she had this......for a boy.......I personally find it weird and my mom and grandma ...
A. 11 April 2011: It is normal to fall in love when you are a young teenager yes. It is also normal to not fall in love that early. I fell in love for the first time when I was 14. ... (read in full...)
He heard lies from someone else about me and now calls me a prostitute! To make it worse, I am pregnant with his baby and he wants to take it away from me.....
Q. Hi friends , I am a 24yrs old university graduate, and 6 months pregnant, but the father of my baby has left me, he broke up with me over the phone and called me all sort of names. he even calls me a prostitute,..the relationship was a very smooth ...
A. 11 April 2011: Maybe this page can be a good starting point for you:
http://www.hg.org/law-firms/Child-Support-and-Custody/Nigeria.html... (read in full...)
He heard lies from someone else about me and now calls me a prostitute! To make it worse, I am pregnant with his baby and he wants to take it away from me.....
Q. Hi friends , I am a 24yrs old university graduate, and 6 months pregnant, but the father of my baby has left me, he broke up with me over the phone and called me all sort of names. he even calls me a prostitute,..the relationship was a very smooth ...
A. 11 April 2011: Do you have any rights for support from the government when it comes to finances? Can you call a free lawyer service and ask for advice on how to make the father of your child pay? Do you have to get by all on your own?
He can not take your chi... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
