| Latest articles: How to avoid being used financially
This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
30 October 2010: I have tried to keep my relationship problems away from this site as I do not want my advice to be assosiated to my own questions. However I have now learned an important lesson that I want to share with the rest of you, in the hopes that you will ...
What I've learned from my family.
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 June 2010: In order for aunts and question askers to see who they are getting advice from, I will continue to write some more about me, and where I come from. The things that I draw on when giving advice, what type of experience I have in life. This arti...
How one person changed my life
This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 June 2010: I've been an aunt on this site now for quite a while, at first I started as an anonymous, until I finally took the step to make an account and dare to be identified somewhat. As I've gotten to know a few people on here, albeit still strangers ...
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My boyfriend is loyal, but looks at porn?
Q. I recently discovered my boyfriend looks at pornography through an accidental slip on his part. He is not aware that I know. We were friends when we lived in the same city, and become a couple after he moved away.Because of the distance, we hav...
A. 21 June 2011: Porn doesn't set a standard. You're the only one comparing yourself to it, I believe. Sure, there are some nutcases of men out there who believe porn is for real, but those are the weird ones. The normal view on porn is that it's an instrument for ... (read in full...)
Too shy to talk to my girlfriend and we are meeting up tonight! Help!
Q. i am too shy to talk to my girlfriend i need a lot of help !!!! help we are supposed to meet up tonight xx...
A. 21 June 2011: Relax! Do something you enjoy, and let concersation flow naturally. Sitting in silence isn't a bad thing either! You managed to connect with her at some level since she's your girlfriend, now don't stress out, you are fully capable of hanging around ... (read in full...)
Is a lie at the beginning of a friendship just as bad as a lie at the beginning of a relationship?
Q. Do you think a lie at the beginning of a friendship is just as bad and damaging as a lie at the beginning? of a romantic relationship? We've been talking and hanging out for only a few months. I started lying to a friend before I knew her, liked...
A. 20 June 2011: Lies between friends can be sorted out in time, the only thing being that the friendship will be decreased, set at another level. You might not talk as often for a while, and you'll need to work your way back up to friendship, and it can take a long ... (read in full...)
Disappointed in engagement ring, am I being selfish?
Q. I'm interested in your opinions. My boyfriend was engaged before he met me. He bought her a very beautiful $7000 ring, for which he spent all his savings on. The relationship failed and she returned the ring. After us being together for ov...
A. 20 June 2011: Male anon reader, who bought his girl an emerald ring... You know her the best. Not all women would want a diamond, but the general idea is to have a diamond. If she'd want emerald, and she enjoys something unique, you know her the best, so just go ... (read in full...)
Living in a foreign country and about to return home, my ex has asked if I can buy her some jewellery which she will pay for - shall I buy it? Should I tell my wife?
Q. Hi guys, I have been living in a foreign country for two years with my wife and plan to return to our home country soon. Yesterday, my ex surprised me with a call asking me to buy her some jewellery but made it very clear she would pay for it. I ...
A. 20 June 2011: You should tell your wife that she asked. And you should recieve the money for said jewelry before you buy. You should also have the specifics of what jewelry she wants. If you feel uncomfortable about it, just tell her it will be difficult to get ... (read in full...)
Will I be able to choose what contraceptive pill I go on when I visit the doctors?
Q. Hello all, just a small question here, I am going the doctors tomorrow to ask to go on the contraceptive pill, and I was wondering how it works.. Do I get a choice of which contraceptive pill I get to take? Or will they just prescribe me a certain ...
A. 20 June 2011: You decide yourself what you want. But unless you know precicely, they'll just prescribe you the one they think is ok, or the most used one.
Things to take into consideration is ifyou have pimples or acne. Some pills help against this more eff... (read in full...)
Is this his polite way of breaking up or what else could he mean?
Q. I'm confused right now. my bf told me he needed space like one week.. is this breaking up with me in a polite manner or he just need a little time without me?...
A. 20 June 2011: Go on the date if you think it would be a nice time out. Just getting to know someone isn't a crime, and he's the one who called for a break anyhow. Just make it clear that all you're looking for in the time being is friendship, if the question is ... (read in full...)
How fast should we be moving?
Q. Hi everyone! I have just started dating a guy who is awesome to me so far. I am 21, and he is 24. We met through mutal friends, and I made the "first move" (a simple goodnight kiss) on our second date. Just wondering how fast people around our ages...
A. 20 June 2011: There's nothing innappropriate really. You go with the flow of things. But, I like to have a personal rule that says no sex before two weeks into an official relationship. That means committment first, then sex. Another good idea could be to wait ... (read in full...)
Is a vibrator useful to women. Is the orgasm better with a vibrator?
Q. Do women who enjoy having sex and have a vibrator enjoy using it??? If you do, Do you get a quicker 'Orgasm than with your partner?...
A. 20 June 2011: I use a vibrator, and guy's don't make me orgasm at all. So basically there is no comparison. There's only been one guy ever who made me come without me including any vibrators or doing anything, and the orgasms there were good. But it took forever ... (read in full...)
He's been very obviously staring at my body for four years. People have made comment. What is his problem?
Q. There's an older (married) guy who has been attracted to me for four years and has made it obvious. Unlike most guys, he is actually interested in me (not just my body) in getting to know the person I am. He never came up to me to talk or anyt...
A. 20 June 2011: You like the attention, dont you? That's why you want to find out why you've earned it? Couldn't it really be as simple as this man not knowing you at all...? He eavesdrops on your conversations, thats not cute, its creapy. Attention is lovely and ... (read in full...)
I know I should wait to have sex, but I think I'm ready.....is this the right choice?
Q. im 14 and like other teen girls i think about sex A LOT and i think im ready to have sex with my boyfriend but im scared of the pain or what could happen if we (Im) not carefull......you might think "oh all he wants is sex" not really i told him i ...
A. 20 June 2011: You want sex, and that's alright. Nothing wrong with wanting sex. But... here's the thing, are you sure you want sex with this guy in particular? You've only been together some 4 months. I'm wondering if you aren't the one who only wants sex from ... (read in full...)
I know I should wait to have sex, but I think I'm ready.....is this the right choice?
Q. im 14 and like other teen girls i think about sex A LOT and i think im ready to have sex with my boyfriend but im scared of the pain or what could happen if we (Im) not carefull......you might think "oh all he wants is sex" not really i told him i ...
A. 20 June 2011: You want sex, and that's alright. Nothing wrong with wanting sex. But... here's the thing, are you sure you want sex with this guy in particular? You've only been together some 4 months. I'm wondering if you aren't the one who only wants sex from ... (read in full...)
How do you handle your ex moving on?
Q. So i was with my ex girlfriend for 2 yrs and she has recently dumped me 2 months ago and started dating someone else a month after we broke up...I'm sure everybody has been in the situation where your ex moves on to someone else really quickly after ...
A. 19 June 2011: Avoid the ex.
And remember that dating isn't so serious, it's just getting to know someone new, and a good way to forget about the ex. I'm sure she's hurting, but trying to hide it from the world. Moving on fast doesn't say anything about ho... (read in full...)
Is this mistake enough to end the relationship?
Q. been dating with this guy for 2 months and were on MU by the 3rd month but basically he is a total stranger to me...recently we had argument regarding Trust since i dont know him that well and i texted a friend about my concern. And i sent it to him ...
A. 19 June 2011: Mistake? What mistake do you mean? I don't see you doing anything wrong, you didn't cheat or bad mouth him or anything, you were expressing your concern and you also informed him of your concerns.
But, maybe you should break it off with him. If ... (read in full...)
Disappointed in engagement ring, am I being selfish?
Q. I'm interested in your opinions. My boyfriend was engaged before he met me. He bought her a very beautiful $7000 ring, for which he spent all his savings on. The relationship failed and she returned the ring. After us being together for ov...
A. 19 June 2011: Everything is relative, of course a ring in itself doesn't matter as much as the promise to stay together forever, or the act of actually getting married (so many just stay engaged for the entire relationship..). So no, a ring is just a ring, in ... (read in full...)
Am I gay or bi?
Q. I do unusual things like being in nude masturbation I wanna reltionship thinking of man am i gay or bi?...
A. 19 June 2011: Everyone tend to get nude when they masturbate, dont they? You don't say much about yourself or why you think you might be bisexual or gay. And to be honest, we can't tell you what you are as only you know yourself well enough to decide on that.
... (read in full...)
Lied about being pregnant now I have to fake an abortion
Q. I dont a very stupid thing My boyfriend and i broke up two weeks ago and i am absolutely heartbroken Wer were trying for a baby before we split Like a right idiot iv went and told him im pregnant and im getting an abortion even though i dont think...
A. 19 June 2011: Tell the truth in white lies. Tell him your period was late by a very long time, two full weeks. So you thought you were pregnant. But then later on when you took a test you found out you weren't pregnant, but by then you were scared to tell him ... (read in full...)
I have information that I don't want to have and don't know how to handle this
Q. Dear Cupid, I am in a pickle. My best guy friend is heads over heels for this girl. She is completly enamoured, and I have never seen her like this, so happy. She has even confessed to me that she has never loved someone so much before, an...
A. 19 June 2011: He is your best guy friend? And it was with your sister? And she is a friend of yours as well? I say this is your business. Get involved. Don't tell the girl, but tell the guy that you know, and since she deserves better that that, he either tells ... (read in full...)
Can open relationships ever work?
Q. right, so I am a bloke with a massive attraction to this girl. she gorgeous and smart and funny and lovely and SINGLE and SHE LIKES ME...well, you know that with those combination then she's gotta have a problem if shes still single, right? right. ...
A. 18 June 2011: If you have feelings for her, stay clear. You're not initiating a relationship, but a friends with benefits situation. And the ground rule of FWB is that they only work as long as neither part fall for the other. Once feelings are involved, it all ... (read in full...)
Is this his polite way of breaking up or what else could he mean?
Q. I'm confused right now. my bf told me he needed space like one week.. is this breaking up with me in a polite manner or he just need a little time without me?...
A. 18 June 2011: Did he ask for space, or did he ask for a break from the relationship? Asking for a break is primarily asked for two reasons: a) you want to break up but don't know yet how to tell the other person, or b) you want to fool around with someone else ... (read in full...)
My relationship and life has little meaning. Where do I go from here?
Q. I had a rather troubled childhood which affected almost all areas of my life, particularly my schooling and studies. Along with our family always being in financial pitfalls, my parents weren’t really of the loving type, so I had to deal will all ...
A. 17 June 2011: Wow! I am so happy for you! I'm sitting here right now with a huge grin on my face. Congratulations on the new job! That is really incredible, and good for you to take that step out of the comfort zone and dare things! It is so hard, for so many, to ... (read in full...)
Are we related?
Q. if you are dating your cousins cousin on a different side of the family are we cousins? ...
A. 17 June 2011: Who's related to whom? Follow the blood-line, who is the mom and dad and are they siblings with anyone you are related to by blood?
If not, then you are not related, meaning you aren't cousins. ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my girlfriend get angry, is she normal?
Q. I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for the last two years. She is very nice and has sparkling sense humor. In those last two years, I haven't come across a single moment when she was angry at me for anything stupid I do once in a blo...
A. 17 June 2011: What about skipping the tests and just talk to her about it? Ask her about anger/sadness, and emotions, how she expresses them etc. Talk about it, and see if you can open her up.
If the relationshi works like this, then leave it at that. If she's... (read in full...)
I'm a grown adult, so why am I still getting acne?
Q. I've had bad skin ever since my teens. Taking the pill helps, but it only masks the symptoms. If I go off it, the acne reappears soon after. And my back gets completely covered in it. I really hate it. I'm 24 so why is this still happening to me?...
A. 17 June 2011: Hahaha, pshycoanalysis for acne...! Now I've heard that too.... (read in full...)
Is it ok to be with a guy if he treats you well when every other aspect of the relationship sucks?
Q. im 25 and ive been in a relationship for almost 2 years now. i have to make myself fantasize if i want to get through sex with my boyfriend and he has really small you know what. he wants to get married but im so confused because of how i feel abo...
A. 16 June 2011: Don't marry him, you wont be happy. Marriage takes whatever problems you have already and make them 10 times worse. If you're unhappy now, you surely will be miserable if you get married to him.
Why not find someone who is nice, but checks m... (read in full...)
Will I ever find a more romantic and sexual partner?
Q. This will probably sound like a dumb question, but will I ever find a partner who is better in bed than my ex was? First I want to be perfectly clear that sex is not the only thing that matters to me. I'm single right now, but if given the choice I ...
A. 16 June 2011: You might... you might not. It's really hard to say. Sexual interaction can also be improved over the years, but it can also go bad. It swings both ways, but yuo just got to try your best to find someone who you are compatible with and enjoy on a ... (read in full...)
I'm a grown adult, so why am I still getting acne?
Q. I've had bad skin ever since my teens. Taking the pill helps, but it only masks the symptoms. If I go off it, the acne reappears soon after. And my back gets completely covered in it. I really hate it. I'm 24 so why is this still happening to me?...
A. 16 June 2011: Go see a dermatologist. These things follow your genes, it is likely that your parents, or someone who you are related to, suffer(ed) from the exact same thing. It isn't unusual really, Im 25 and also have acne. I went to a dermatologist and got ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has short fuse. Is it me? Please help me understand
Q. Hi there. My bf and I have been together for 18 months. Things are okay but I have one issue with him, his temper. He has a really bad temper and loses his cool really easily. He is not violent and I don’t think he ever would be but I struggle with ...
A. 16 June 2011: This is about him being selfish and not having self control. Quite opposite of what you might think, his childhood shouldn't be factored into this. As an adult hes now had several years to correct himself, and he is fully responsible for his own ... (read in full...)
First time, split condom, could I be pregnant?
Q. i'm freaking out, i had sex for the first time this weekend and the condom split. how much chance is there that i'm pregnant? i'm on the pill, he hadn't ejaulated yet, and there was no pre-cum because he had ejaculated before we had sex. do i...
A. 16 June 2011: If you're on birth control and haven't missed a pill, but taken them all as you should, then you wont get pregnant. Condom or no condom. Birth control pills are the safest contraception, and any doctor will tell you that as long as you use your ... (read in full...)
I would like to be friends with the Japanese family who moved across the street
Q. Well first of all I would like to say im 19, I have always loved the Japanese culture, food, music, and of course the people. I have always wanted to have a Japanese friend but unfortunately that hasnt happened yet since there are not that many ...
A. 16 June 2011: Just be careful of stereotyping them! If you want someone as a friend, you'd rather have them as a friend because they want you as a friend.. right, not because they want you as their study project. If you want to make friends with Japanese people, ... (read in full...)
I haven't dated anyone since boyfriend left me for an online girl
Q. I posted on here last month saying that my ex dumped me for a girl he spoke to online, who lives in America, who he has never met in person !. My ex and i live in England. I kept hounding him at first, as i was upset, but then i started to get over ...
A. 16 June 2011: Don't contact him unless you're ready to let him go. It will only hurt you. You're trying to hope for something that most probably isn't there, and when he wont say what you like to hear it'll hurt you even more, and it'll drive you even further ... (read in full...)
Why would a musician want to be with a girl who is outspoken and not crazy over his band?!
Q. I have been seeing this guy for about two weeks now who is the lead singer in a band and I don’t understand why he is still interested in me when I know I am blunt and direct at times, nor do I take much interest in his band. They’re really good, ...
A. 16 June 2011: Why would he like you you ask? Are you struggling with low confidence? Try to list up some of your great qualities, I'm pretty sure you have plenty, and enough to catch his interest.
A musician isn't unlike your ol' average guy on the street: ... (read in full...)
I am so confused, please help!
Q. Hi folk, I dated a guy for two and half years. We were very close that I thought it will end up in marriage. He neither buy me a gift nor gives me enough money which i don’t care. After a year in relationship, one day I took his phone then I notice ...
A. 15 June 2011: I must ask you to clarify these things:
What do you mean he didn't give you enough money?
And what do you mean by flirting? Did he admit to flirting with her, and was it obvious, or did you read meaning into a friendly conversation?
... (read in full...)
Multiple orgasms must be amazing - WHY don't women want to have sex all day?
Q. Ever since I was with my first "serious" girlfriend, I've envied womens' ability to have multiple orgasms. When she got going, she'd have one after another with only a few seconds (if that) in between for a couple minutes, I'd have my one "little" ...
A. 14 June 2011: Hmm, I agree, multiple orgasms sound great. As a woman, I'd like to experience it happening more often, seeing as Im claimed to be capable of it....
I actually did have a few multiple ones, when I first started masturbating. But that was what... ... (read in full...)
Will lube help?
Q. Hey there. So I've had sex before--several times. With a handful of different partners. My current partner and I have been struggling though. I often have to stop early and am sore afterward. He is very well endowed and it's getting hard. I ...
A. 14 June 2011: You buy lube close to anywhere where you can buy condoms. Lubricant is just some sticky stuff that you take on your fingers and then rub down the opening and on the penis.
It works wonders when you're not well enough lubricated yourself, which yo... (read in full...)
How long does it take for a person's true colors to come out?
Q. Hi, I don't know whether my question is appropriate or not, but I am so lost. I met a guy june 2010, but we didn't get close till january 2011. he was sweet n kind, i got interested n he finally confessed his feelings in april and soon after...
A. 14 June 2011: In my experience, it takes a year before someone shows their true colours. Before a year has gone by I will not recommend you making any promises of the future, or get engaged. Wait at least a year to get to know each other better. You can move in ... (read in full...)
I didn't realize we were having company? Where are you going?
Q. Say your gf/bf was hanging out with you all day until you have to go to work. Then all of a sudden, their friends show up to get them. There was no talk of the friends coming by or that they were leaving with them. How would you feel? How should you ...
A. 13 June 2011: You shouldn't feel bothered by this. The real question is why are you bothered by friends coming over to hang out? Isn't that quite the ordinary? Does every move have to be run by you? Do you struggle with compulsive behaviour, that you need ... (read in full...)
Married ex had my name tattooed on his body.
Q. I am in a serious pickle and I'm afraid I've got myself into it. I was seeing a married man for a few years and broke up a few weeks back. He's been asking me to take him back since but I'm adamant to move on and make something of myself. Hoever ...
A. 13 June 2011: He is hilarious though, isn't he?
I hope, for his sake, that it is a fake tattoo, one that can be washed away. He doesn't sound like he's completely stable. It's not like you owe him anything either, he wants you to come back as his toy without ... (read in full...)
I really want to use lube, but I can't get it. Alternatives? How to buy? Where to hide?
Q. Hey I'm 18 and I think spit just doesn't work enough. I guess I just want to try lube to know how it feels like because i'm quite sure it must feel a lot better (certainly since i have a tight foreskin) (i'm talking to use lube just for masturb...
A. 13 June 2011: You need to keep in mind that baby oils, or anything that isn't designed to be used for intercourse, will not be recommended for sex. But you're not using it to have intercourse! You're not putting this inside your body. A female shouldn't use the ... (read in full...)
I really want to use lube, but I can't get it. Alternatives? How to buy? Where to hide?
Q. Hey I'm 18 and I think spit just doesn't work enough. I guess I just want to try lube to know how it feels like because i'm quite sure it must feel a lot better (certainly since i have a tight foreskin) (i'm talking to use lube just for masturb...
A. 13 June 2011: Baby oil is a good idea though. Don't use it for intercourse with a woman, but for purely masturbating it should do the trick. Regular olive oil would do the trick as well, if you're desperate.
Or take the bus to the next town and get it there. ... (read in full...)
I really want to use lube, but I can't get it. Alternatives? How to buy? Where to hide?
Q. Hey I'm 18 and I think spit just doesn't work enough. I guess I just want to try lube to know how it feels like because i'm quite sure it must feel a lot better (certainly since i have a tight foreskin) (i'm talking to use lube just for masturb...
A. 13 June 2011: But what if you just buy it and don't say anything about it? So that of they do ask, you can say it's for masturbating. It's not like you declare it, or tell them randomly, but if they ask you can tell the truth. What is the worst that could happen? ... (read in full...)
I really want to use lube, but I can't get it. Alternatives? How to buy? Where to hide?
Q. Hey I'm 18 and I think spit just doesn't work enough. I guess I just want to try lube to know how it feels like because i'm quite sure it must feel a lot better (certainly since i have a tight foreskin) (i'm talking to use lube just for masturb...
A. 13 June 2011: Why hide it? Lube is as natural as any other thing. Put it out in the open and if someone asks you what you use it for tell the truth. I'm sure that'll be the last time your parents get nosy.
It's not like your parents can forbid you to masturba... (read in full...)
My relationship and life has little meaning. Where do I go from here?
Q. I had a rather troubled childhood which affected almost all areas of my life, particularly my schooling and studies. Along with our family always being in financial pitfalls, my parents weren’t really of the loving type, so I had to deal will all ...
A. 19 May 2011: What it appears to me is that you are hitting a midlife crisis of sorts. You have plenty of things to be happy about, but somewhere there's a leak where all your energy gets sucked out. You have a steady job, a decent income, you are able to offer ... (read in full...)
My relationship and life has little meaning. Where do I go from here?
Q. I had a rather troubled childhood which affected almost all areas of my life, particularly my schooling and studies. Along with our family always being in financial pitfalls, my parents weren’t really of the loving type, so I had to deal will all ...
A. 19 May 2011: I'm sorry you didn't get any answers, but I will read through this now and at least see if I have anything worth adding. Other than that, I suggest you ask a shorter question, or a precise question, as those are easier for others to answers. It ... (read in full...)
| *higirl's friends
These are mutual friends, so *higirl has
added them and they have added *higirl!
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![kitty-cat=] agony aunt](/avatars/4e276644-588c-43d2-bf37-fe35b92660b5.png){kind=small}
