| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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I want to have a baby in a LDR
Q. I have recently got involved in a LDR, and have fallen in love with my man. I met him while on vacation in the US Virgin Islands, and Im from the states. I am 25 and I am ready to start a family, and he wants to as well. Unfortunately he is on ...
A. 26 August 2010: I get the US citizen part. But, putting it bluntly and I'll hope you forgive me, you don't want your child to grow up resenting the father for walking out or getting into the trouble with the law again, or resenting you for having it with the ... (read in full...)
Are most men lazy?
Q. I am looking for a second opinion due to the lack of male influence growing up in my life. I have been with my boyfriend for about 2years. We are living together and discussing marriage. I am starting to question some issues regarding housework ...
A. 25 August 2010: No, this is not most men. We learn from out parents. If his mother did everything and his father did nothing, he will think women should do everything. Not all men are like this at all. Perhaps you should say to him that this is affecting your ... (read in full...)
How do guys feel about clevage enhancing bra's?
Q. Hi, I'd like some opinions, especially from guys out there, about cleavage-enhacing bras. I normally wear a padded, water-filled bra when I go out, which makes my breasts look one cup size bigger than they are...so I've been doing this whilst ...
A. 25 August 2010: Most guys won't even notice. You don't need to worry at all. He'd be a pretty worthless guy if he just measured you on your breasts and nothing else. Relax. ... (read in full...)
Should I leave him to sort things out with his ex? or do I stay with him and try to show him how better I am than her?
Q. a guy i like recently split up with his gf, me and him got close quickly but nothing has "happened" between us. this week his ex has been txting him loads trying to get back together with him. he's told her that he wants to be single at the moment ...
A. 25 August 2010: Stay well away from him right now. He needs time to get over her, and has made it clear he wants to be single. Let him sort his life out. You don't want to become a rebound, and then find he'll go back to her. You need to let him take his time, let ... (read in full...)
Beauty tips please on how to get this guy to like me!
Q. This is a very topical question, but I will appreciate all answers! Well basically I want a guy to notice me. I want him to see me and think "wow shes hot!" Do you have any fashion and/or beauty tips that will make me seem more attractive to him? ...
A. 25 August 2010: You want him to notice your personality, not just your assets. Or you'll never know whether he wants you for your body, or for who you are. The best way to get his attention is to talk to him. Anything else and you might send out the wrong signals , ... (read in full...)
I want to have a baby in a LDR
Q. I have recently got involved in a LDR, and have fallen in love with my man. I met him while on vacation in the US Virgin Islands, and Im from the states. I am 25 and I am ready to start a family, and he wants to as well. Unfortunately he is on ...
A. 25 August 2010: This is such a bad idea. You've not lived together, you've not really spend time getting to know each other, he's on probation for at least another year and a half, and you can't be totally sure the US authorities will let him in. This is such a bad ... (read in full...)
Can someone marry you without your consent?
Q. Hi, I met a very nice guy on line and now he says he has his pastor sending me a marriage certificate and he is comeing to get me to take me home next month, can he do that without my consent? I am a little worried here!...
A. 25 August 2010: No, he can't. And he's not nice, he's a nutcase. You should report him.... (read in full...)
Threesome with my boyfriend?
Q. My Boyfriend of 1 year told me his fantasy would be to sleep with 2 girls at the same time. i would like to fulfill his fantasy, but at the same time, i dont want to watch him have sex with another girl. and i know i will probably get jealous if ...
A. 25 August 2010: You know you'll get jealous and you know you won't be able to take it. This is a bad idea, and will probably ruin your relationship. This is something best kept as a fantasy. ... (read in full...)
Help with future love..hopefully.
Q. ok well today i was talking to this guy Nick and my boyfriend on Facebook. Nick is one of my best guy friends best friend. Well my boyfriend was being really boring. You see i like the bad boy, perverted, but sweet kind of guy. And my boyfriend is ...
A. 25 August 2010: Nick is a bad guy. He's trying to come between you and your boyfriend. He's a bad guy. ... (read in full...)
Do girls like nice guys or bad guys? I'm confused!
Q. im 18 years old and ive never had a girlfriend. i have plenty of friends that are girls but have never had a serious relationship. ive never even been kissed. im not a bad looking guy. i have girls tell me im good looking and some actually check me ...
A. 25 August 2010: What girls really like it fun, novelty, spontaneity, surprise and a little hint of danger.
Sadly, bad boys provide all that more openly that nice guys, who often take time to really open up. Bad boys represent a challenge, they represent some... (read in full...)
I trusted him and he cheated on me
Q. well my boyfriend and i have now been going out for two months and the other night i trusted him to go to a party while i was at a dance class, he tells me two days later that he cheated on me and now i don't know what to do, so i guess my question ...
A. 25 August 2010: If he's already cheated two months into your relationship, then there is no point in continuing. He'll just do it again. At such an early stage in your relationship, this shouldn't be an issue at all. To be fair, it should never be an issue anyway. ... (read in full...)
Am I attractive?
Q. i would just like to know if i am attractive. I am about to turn 16. Im 5 4 and 96 ibs. light blonde with bright green blue eyes and a 34B. people say im pretty but i just want to know other's opinion thanks. any questons about me ill answer....
A. 25 August 2010: Of course you are. :)... (read in full...)
Help with future love..hopefully.
Q. ok well today i was talking to this guy Nick and my boyfriend on Facebook. Nick is one of my best guy friends best friend. Well my boyfriend was being really boring. You see i like the bad boy, perverted, but sweet kind of guy. And my boyfriend is ...
A. 25 August 2010: I have a friend who liked her bad boys too, and by the time she was 16 she'd cheated, she'd been cheated on, she'd been hurt and she'd hurt so many guys the list was unbelievable. She's 22 now, and recently had to go to court because one of her 'bad ... (read in full...)
It bothers me he was attracted to his last girlfriend. Am I over reacting?
Q. Im in a relationship with a guy who claims to have been in love with me since school. Im 25 yrs old now, and we started dating a year back. I wasn't in touch with him all these yrs, and although I knew he existed, we never spoke or anything. Just a...
A. 25 August 2010: Yes, you are I'm afraid. Because you'll never meet a man who hasn't looked at a woman at some point and been attracted to her. And, let's face it, it didn't work out between them. And he looks at you in a completely different way because he's with ... (read in full...)
I had a dream of my boyfriend getting married to another woman. Should I read into it?
Q. I don't usually read into dreams, I've had a lot of nice dreams, but also unpleasant ones, like any other person. Thing is, last night I dreamed that my boyfriend was getting married, IN MY HOUSE, with another woman (she was brunette, but then she...
A. 25 August 2010: It means nothing at all. Forget it. You don't want to be known as someone who wrecked a relationship and became paranoid over something that happened in a dream. It means nothing.... (read in full...)
I had an affair with my sister in law's husband. Why won't she forgive me?
Q. Dear Cupid, My Sister in Law and I used to be best friends. I knew about her maritual problems (she had an affair, she talked about divorcing him many times), and she knew mine (my husband always was away 'with other girls hunting', while ov...
A. 25 August 2010: You need to stop looking for forgiveness from her, because it won't happen. Whilst your marriage was rocky and you did have an affair, you made the mistake of having an affair with someone who was close to you. It doesn't matter that her husband ... (read in full...)
My daughter does PORN!!
Q. i have found out in the last year that my daughter is a pornstar and before that worked as a escort, i am finding this hard to deal with as she does not care whom it affects in her life, i have just lost my relationship over what she does, my ...
A. 25 August 2010: Not worth it at all. Your daughter wasn't near, she's miles away and wasn't going to meet them. And you don't share the same surname as him. It was never going to be linked. And to say you're tainted it complete rubbish. Nothing here is linked and ... (read in full...)
Does she care for me or is she after something?
Q. Well me and my girlfriend has been together for a while, i asked her to marry me 3 months ago she said yes we was very happy together or at least i thought, about 3 weeks ago she finished the relationship with me and we only just got back together ...
A. 25 August 2010: Only time and communication will tell. One thing is for sure, and that it she in particular is not ready for marriage. I do half wonder if she knew she wasn't ready, so pulled away to get it broken off only to come back. So whatever happens, keep ... (read in full...)
Was the connection b.c we were drunk
Q. Hi. I've used this site once before and got some great advice.Now; I need some more. Two nights ago, I met a guy at a club who I really liked. We got on really well and had loads of fun. The only thing is....he lives in Wales and I live in Scotland! ...
A. 25 August 2010: Well you won't know unless you follow it all up. He said come to Cardiff, so talk to him and say you'd like to meet again. See what happens. You won't know anything until you follow it up and see where it leads.... (read in full...)
I hate my boyfriend, I'm lonely and sad..
Q. I need a lot of help with something. My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year now and we have lived together for most of that time. 2 months into the relationship he started calling me curse names and yelling at me constantly. When he ...
A. 25 August 2010: No matter how much you love this man, your life will be totally mired by him and his behaviour. You need to get away. Love isn't enough to keep this going. The abuse you're suffering will only get worse.
Check this site out and read the articles... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is risking her life just to loose weight!
Q. My girlfriend is risking her life daily by refusing to take her diabetic medication, so that she loses weight. She's been diabetic for 4 years and has always mistreated her condition. In the past few months, she discovered not taking her medicati...
A. 25 August 2010: There is only one thing I can suggest, and that is to tell her to speak to a doctor about a safer way of losing weight. But if she doesn't stop this, then perhaps you could see a doctor alone and talk to him/her and see what they suggest. I'm not ... (read in full...)
Should I help pay for my new stepdaughter's college?
Q. I am a male in the USA in my 40's. I plan on getting married again in a few months. I have 2 young sons age 9 and 6. I pay support for them and see them 3 times a week. One child likes my GF the other one does not. She also does not get along with ...
A. 25 August 2010: A dent in your 401!!! Bad, bad, bad. As the others say, don't combine again. ... (read in full...)
I'm going to miss spending time with her!
Q. I've been seeing this girl which I met whilst we had other partners and broke up with them for each other. I feel that she is the one and am beginning to fall in love and i think she feels the same way. At the moment she lives in the next city so...
A. 25 August 2010: I see my girlfriend every couple of weeks for a weekend. We're long distance. So it can work, and you can live with it. Of course you'll miss spending time with her. But as long as you both put effort into your relationship and continue to talk and ... (read in full...)
Do all girls smell fishy down there?
Q. hi, im having a very embarassing unusual probelm. my boyfriend and i have been together for 3 years, so he is the only person iv slept with since.. during our relationship or before it, iv never smelt bad down there ever. and now all of a sudden the ...
A. 25 August 2010: If you're worried at all, then see a doctor. You may not think you have the time, but it's worth getting checked to make sure you don't have an infection or something like that. It could be nothing, but it could be something. Don't take a chance ... (read in full...)
I'm feelings uncomfortable in my own home! why wont he leave?
Q. my partner has a tendancy when we argue to be really verbal to me. after coming back from a holiday we hardly spoke in the car which we were in for 8 hours! it drove me mental and ended up in an argument. the next thing i know he was in my face ...
A. 25 August 2010: If it's your house, and if you're supporting him, I have an awful feeling that he's using you for that at his convenience. Whatever happens, this relationship is just toxic. Whilst I don't think hitting him was the answer, I do get why you did it. ... (read in full...)
Should I follow my head or heart?
Q. I am in my 20's and have been going out with my boyfriend for the last 3 years.. we have a relationship where we can argue and he would only have to look at me and i would crack and start laughing.. we do have a good time together but for the past ...
A. 24 August 2010: End it. You're not ready to settle at all. It's gone so wrong. You were feeling second best, so ended it. Then you got back together and you cheated. It's over. Best end it and move on.... (read in full...)
I feel like I want to be single!
Q. im am so confused! i have a boyfriend of 2 years yet i feel like i want to be single! i like attension of other men and going out partying with my friends and he likes to stay in n just see his friends.. am i being selfish? or should i just ...
A. 24 August 2010: The best thing you can do is be single and have your fun. You won't grow out of what you're feeling. You'll just come to resent your boyfriend. So, go out, have your fun and when you're ready to settle, find a guy and settle. ... (read in full...)
What gives him the right to be jelous?
Q. i was with my guy for 5 years. good times and bad times. we always broke up and got back together. last time within a few days he met a girl he knew from college. he`s been with her for 4 months now. within a week he said he loved her. okay, but why ...
A. 24 August 2010: I'm really hoping that you will cut contact with this guy, because he's basically keeping you around like a spare tyre in case this other girl clears off and he needs a bed or something. He behaves this way, because he knows that until you cut ... (read in full...)
Is this type of guy a creep?
Q. i need desperate help i fell in love with a american man who goes for elections i tought by him having this backround that he would be a good guy yet everyone is saying those sort of men are creeps is this true ??? ps im 19 he is 49 ...
A. 24 August 2010: I read your other post. I know you like this guy, but would a respected public figure aged 49 really go out with a 20 year old, or would he use her. Look at Bill Clinton. Look at Silvio Berlusconi. Every country in the world has men like this. You ... (read in full...)
What to do when a friend turns on you?
Q. So,this friend that I have,we've known each other since we were kids.We've had a rocky relationship at times,but have considered each other best friends.I've told her stuff that I've never told anyone else,and have trusted her completely. A few week...
A. 24 August 2010: I bet you're the nice friend who has been her rock, while she has often taken you for granted. And I'll be that the rocky relationship you've had is because of her starting a lot of arguments. I say that because your friend is showing all the ... (read in full...)
In love with much older man over the internet! Will people laugh?
Q. hi everyone i am in love with a man over the internet he is so funny sweet and kind he has done alot of work on polling for elections and ive seen him on a tape why he should be elected meaning he isnt a creep he has a good backround etc but my only ...
A. 24 August 2010: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You know know as much as you think. You don't know him at all. There are plenty of elected creeps out there. President Clinton cheated on his wife at least 2 times, British Prime Minister John Major cheated on his wife. The French ... (read in full...)
How do I break it to my husband that I want to leave?
Q. I am moving towards leaving my husband of 23 years. Though he is a good guy, I don't want to hurt him. The dagger that he will feel will hurt more than the years of irritation I have felt, but at least it will be quick. My therapist explai...
A. 24 August 2010: From reading your response, I'm sure that for your sake you're making the right decision. It's all about you being totally prepared and completely ready for the split, which will be hard. Get support, make sure you have everything worked out and you ... (read in full...)
My friend stole a girl I like!
Q. I dont understand what's going on :( I liked a girl and as much as i knew she liked me too, i delayed asking her initially because my friends whom i consulted said i should wait and see how it goes. I then realised another of my friends began to get ...
A. 24 August 2010: More likely it was a case that he didn't fancy her but liked the attention. ... (read in full...)
Have you ever experience in your life that no matter what you do nothing goes right?
Q. Did you ever experience,in your life,that no matter,what you do,nothing goes right? I feel ,Im trying to make good choices everyday, but from the smallest things to the biggest, almost everything turns out wrong or a nightmare. Like in a bad movi...
A. 24 August 2010: You're trying far too hard to prove far too much. You know you are not required to be perfect! You are allowed to screw up, to get angry, to be depressed sometimes, to have a bad day and to make bad choices. That's what humans do. Things go wrong, ... (read in full...)
Is it too early to start talking Marriage??
Q. Hey everyone i have a dilemma when i was in the 5th grade i met my first love we broke up in sixth grade and started back talking in high school about 3years ago but he was very conceited and stuck up now we are both 20 and now he have a daughter ...
A. 24 August 2010: TOO SOON! Your response says it all. After one month, you do now know whether you can handle it. When that daughter of his needs shoes, needs her Dad, needs anything, you'll be put back. That's the way it is, that's the way it will be. Even if you ... (read in full...)
My friend stole a girl I like!
Q. I dont understand what's going on :( I liked a girl and as much as i knew she liked me too, i delayed asking her initially because my friends whom i consulted said i should wait and see how it goes. I then realised another of my friends began to get ...
A. 24 August 2010: You needed to ask her out, so make sure in future you go for it when you like a girl. That 'friend' of yours played you to get to her, and it's worked. Truthfully, I'd leave her to him. They deserve each other. She's taken everyone's word against ... (read in full...)
My partner can not get an erection!
Q. i want to know why my partner cant get a erection can you tell me why please...
A. 24 August 2010: If he's the same age as you (36-40), it could be a sign of stress of middle age. It's nobody;'s fault, and needs to be handled with care or it will get worse. Help him relax and make sure he's all okay with his work and such. This can be fixed if no ... (read in full...)
I'm 8 months pregnant with his child, but he has a girlfriend.
Q. I am dating this man for 11 months and am 8 months pregnant with his child i know he have a girlfriend and they have a 5 year old daughter but i want him to live here and be with me and our child what can i do? ...
A. 24 August 2010: Basically you're stuffed. If he hasn't left this other women in 11 months, he won't leave her. So, I hope you'll make a decent single mother. Learn from this. Cheating men are not worth the hassle. He won't dump her and his other daughter for you, ... (read in full...)
Is she interested in me? is there really another guy?
Q. Hey there i have just started talking to a girl and she invited me out for lunch and we spent all day walking around the city together, afterwards i sent her a text saying i had a great time and she was great. She then replied to this text saying ...
A. 24 August 2010: I think you ARE being played by this girl. Completely. If she's seeing someone, then she's a liar and a cheat. If she's not seeing someone, then she's still a liar and lied for a reason. Something is very wrong here, and you need to know where you ... (read in full...)
I love him, but is it worth it?
Q. I have been dating this guy for 3 months now, and during this period he's already left me once saying he wasn't happy. But then he asked for another chance to work things out and so we got back together again. And recently he has started behaving ...
A. 24 August 2010: If he's already left you inside 3 months, then he's not worth it at all. To be honest, he seems like he's still in love with his ex. Just get away from him.... (read in full...)
Have I spoiled our friendship?
Q. me and my best friend have been really good friends for around three years now. We've helped each other through everything from bad breakups to illnesses and more recently through my grandmother's death. However a few weeks ago, we slept togethe...
A. 24 August 2010: He could well be in 'thinking' mode. Sometimes, men take time to process emotions and work out how they feel. He's thinking. Clearly, your friendship has changed. Maybe to something more, or maybe to something less. I think you need to text him and ... (read in full...)
My partner keeps doing favours for his ex wife!
Q. I have been with my partner over 2 years. He has got 2 kids already. They r lovely boys and we get on very well. It's his ex wife who I can't stand. She still works for my partner, she hardly do anything and still gets paid very good money. When she ...
A. 24 August 2010: It's going nowhere, I'm afraid. She can't stop him seeing his son. He can just take her to court and say she's using the son as a blackmail tactic and get 50/50 custody, perhaps even more if the court think she's unstable. Your boyfriend just isn't ... (read in full...)
How do I break it to my husband that I want to leave?
Q. I am moving towards leaving my husband of 23 years. Though he is a good guy, I don't want to hurt him. The dagger that he will feel will hurt more than the years of irritation I have felt, but at least it will be quick. My therapist explai...
A. 24 August 2010: If you are serious about doing this, then you need to be prepared that this will be nasty. I say that, because in my few years of experience watching my friends' parents get divorced (I'm only 22, so haven't been through this), divorces get messy, ... (read in full...)
Is it too early to start talking Marriage??
Q. Hey everyone i have a dilemma when i was in the 5th grade i met my first love we broke up in sixth grade and started back talking in high school about 3years ago but he was very conceited and stuck up now we are both 20 and now he have a daughter ...
A. 24 August 2010: This is way too early. You were basically children when you were together, and there were problems with his character. Since then, he's had a child. And you've only been really dating for one month. There is so much yet that you haven't truly had to ... (read in full...)
My daughter does PORN!!
Q. i have found out in the last year that my daughter is a pornstar and before that worked as a escort, i am finding this hard to deal with as she does not care whom it affects in her life, i have just lost my relationship over what she does, my ...
A. 23 August 2010: You haven't done anything wrong with respect to your partner. What you have done is allow yourself to be turned against your daughter because of him. You're saying that he walked out because of her. That's an excuse. There are a lot of people ... (read in full...)
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