| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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I love a married man, could he do to me what he did to her?
Q. Im writing this so my head doesn't explode and so i feel sumone is listening, im madly in love with a marrid man, we live together and yet i doubt our reltionship, i that maybe i wont eva stop doubting it as how can you with the cicumstances we met ...
A. 30 August 2010: Why is he still married? And did you start a relationship with him knowing he was married? Because if he had an affair, he will do it to you, and if he won't divorce her, you're in trouble. ... (read in full...)
How can he think his behavior is acceptable?
Q. Im fuming! Me and bf were meant to be doing something today.... i text him this morning saying what did he want to do later on and that was 5 hours ago, its now 3pm and ive not heard from him. I have also called him once and no answer. He seems to ...
A. 30 August 2010: Well that's what you have to do. Keep calm, but be firm and tell him how you feel. He will either change his ways, or he won't. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't see sex as important, says its just sex
Q. hi Again Having already written to you in October 2009 about my realtionship with my partner as being very nice but no sex/love making, playing; fondling and the rest. Although I have tried to get to the bottom of it all through talking and moan...
A. 30 August 2010: He may well have erectile dysfunction, or something like it that is causing him to be embarrassed about sex. Or, he's just not into it.
Either way, this is clearly causing problems now, and he needs to know straight that it's causing problems. Don'... (read in full...)
How can he think his behavior is acceptable?
Q. Im fuming! Me and bf were meant to be doing something today.... i text him this morning saying what did he want to do later on and that was 5 hours ago, its now 3pm and ive not heard from him. I have also called him once and no answer. He seems to ...
A. 30 August 2010: What if he forgot his phone? What if he's ill? What if it's something to do with work?
See me point? People don't have phones on them 24 hours a day. I certainly don't. If this is a common occurrence, then you need to sit down and tell him that... (read in full...)
What's it with the guys who go so crazy for you and then drop you with some bs excuse?
Q. What's it with the guys who go so crazy for you and then drop you with some bs excuse?? I met a guy online, we went out and he seemed to be head over heels for me. Even said he was 'hook, line and sinker' for me. He then went away on business but ...
A. 30 August 2010: Oh yes. There are two explanations.
1) - He has another woman on the side and was lying through his teeth. He may have been wanting to get into your pants, and since you didn't, he decided he wanted a woman who would fall for it so he went for some... (read in full...)
Why does he push me away when all I want to do is help?
Q. Im 26 years old and have 2 sons off 2 different dads but not though any fault of my own, the first treated me bad and the second left me. Since then i promised myself not to get into a relationship again or fall in love as its just too painful. Im a ...
A. 30 August 2010: I'm going to be honest.
This relationship of yours cannot and will not work. Ever. On any level.
The time has come for you to seriously sit down and look at your own life and yourself. Does it not strike you that you had one guy abuse you, the... (read in full...)
I'm worried that there are few people to date!
Q. Are there many people who are single and in their late 20s/early 30s? I'm 29, I've come out of a 5 year relationship 6 months ago and I feel ready to start dating again. However I'm a bit concerned that since all my close group of friends are in r...
A. 30 August 2010: There are approx 7 million single women in the UK. Plenty. You just have to spend time finding them. ... (read in full...)
Having trouble staying interested in straight sex with my wife
Q. I have been faithful to my wife for the better part of two decades. I love her very much. Physically, however, I find myself having grown very bored with "regular" sex over the last few years. When we have sex, I have to fantacise to get into it. ...
A. 27 August 2010: The threesome thing will probably not come off. But the other ideas are something you can just talk to her about. Maybe just sit down with her and say that you'd like to try some new things in the bedroom. She may well go for it.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend didn't seem too thrilled to hear from me after her vacation--WHY?
Q. Hi, I'm just really confused right now. And I really miss my girlfriend. My girlfriend and I are both 20 years old, and we were doing very well before she left for a week long vacation. We've been spending nights together, sharing a lot of ...
A. 27 August 2010: Relax, relax, relax. Yes she missed you, no she's not losing interest. She's had a crap time at the airport that has exhausted her, and she's just resting, and the whole 'coming back to real life' saga after a vacation can also it hard.. Just give ... (read in full...)
In a pile of debt because of the ex. Are all women like this?
Q. I dated a younger woman, I am in my early 30s and she is in her early 20s. When I first saw her I was completely blown away by her and came to love her and her daughter. We were together for 5 years. Recently I found out she was cheating and I h...
A. 27 August 2010: No, not all. Not many in fact. But, sadly, some are. This one was. But I don't believe for a moment that all women are like this thankfully. ... (read in full...)
Why jerk off when you have me?
Q. my man and i are very sexually active, but last night when i came home i noticed that he had been jerking off. i walked into our room and he got out of bed an went to the restroom as if he did not want me to know that he was jerking off why is that?...
A. 27 August 2010: Men do it all the time. I promise it's nothing to worry about at all. ... (read in full...)
Were we meant to be?
Q. a friend and i have reunited via facebook and by phone after 14 years apart we both discoveried that we had been searching for each other since 2000 but no luck until recently. I wanted to ask him what our relationship was to him being that we were ...
A. 27 August 2010: YOU'RE MARRIED!
That's as far as this should go. Either get to work on your marriage, which sounds like it needs it, or get a divorce and pursue this other guy. ... (read in full...)
HELP PLEASE? Can you love someone too much?
Q. HELP PLEASE? Ive been with my boyfriend for 2and a bit years we life together and space all our time together i love this and really depened on him for happieness if hes not with me im sad and fell very depressed and lonely he says im controlling ...
A. 27 August 2010: You can't love some too much. You can become too dependent, and that is what is happening to you. It's very important not to depend on one person or one thing for your happiness, or you'll be let down. You really need to take a look at your life and ... (read in full...)
Horny girls?
Q. At what age are girls the horniest? And how can u make a shy guy horny?...
A. 27 August 2010: I believe a recent test showed that women are at the horniest when they're near their 40's/50's. But hey, anyone can be horny any time, so don't worry about the hormones. Just make sure you control them!
As for a shy guy, he'll be horny. But he'l... (read in full...)
Will a cheater change for the right girl?
Q. Will a 30 yr old habitual cheater change when he meets the right girl for him?...
A. 27 August 2010: No. A cheater will cheat on anyone. Don't think a woman is the 'right girl' for a cheater. Most women at some point go through the phase of thinking that they can change a man, or that the man will change for them. A man will change for himself, not ... (read in full...)
Husband cheated on me and now I feel like retaliating with a friend to show him how it feels!
Q. I recently found out my husband of 5yrs was having an affair with another married woman for a little over a year. To make things worse, let me mention that I was pregnant with our 2nd child and not only did he have the nerve to screw her in MY car, ...
A. 27 August 2010: You won't feel better. And in fact, you'll look worse than him. Because you've started counselling, and you've both taken steps to try and fix this. He won't feel your pain. No one will. Instead, they'll all judge you so much more harshly and make ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend hates me..so why wont he let me leave?
Q. me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years. we have gone through some really really hard things together. i have forgivin him for cheating on me...and lying about it and he forgave me for hitting him. which i feel bad for but in the moment i...
A. 27 August 2010: Because you take the rubbish treatment. That's why. He can do what he likes you and you'll take it. Take the control away from him for once and walk away from this man. ... (read in full...)
Boys I need your input! what does this mean?
Q. okay so me and my bf have been together for 3 years. when we first got together i was 160 lbs. im 5 9 so for my hight thats a little bigger but not fat. now i am 190. i try so hard to be cute for him but i dont feel like its working he doesnt h...
A. 27 August 2010: I think he may well feel you're too clingy. I'd be a little worried and scared if my girlfriend started to cry if I didn't have sex with her. That's why he's not holding your hand and feels think a little different. I think you need to talk to him ... (read in full...)
How can I win her affection?
Q. I was best friends with this girl 2 years ago.But I wanted to be more than friends with her. Then right before i asked her out some other guy did and she said yes and from what i was told it was cause she didnt think i liked her then. We drifted ...
A. 27 August 2010: Go and talk to her again and see where it leads. You need to get to know her all over again if you want anything to get anywhere.... (read in full...)
I'm truly in love with my teacher, should I wait 2 years to be with him?
Q. I'm in love with my 35 year old maths teacher... and, please don't tell me it's just a crush, because I've researched into what love feels like, and I asked my mum (not telling her about my teacher though) so I know for sure that I'm in love with ...
A. 27 August 2010: I do wish that teenage girls would drop the whole 'drama queen' attitude. We may not be able to tell you different that you're 'in love', but we can continue to tell you that this teacher really isn't interested, really won't leave his wife for you, ... (read in full...)
I feel I need revenge on him!
Q. Hey guys i just got heart broken and im happy that im moving on but i still cant understand y he would leave me FOR HIS FEMALE FRIEND when i was there for him , I PUT UP WITH LOT HIS CRAP AND LIES ! SOMETIMES I FEEL K NEXT MIN IM HURT! I need ...
A. 27 August 2010: Seriously, walk away. Some people on this site have looked for revenge before, and it backfired. You could get arrested for harassment, you could be psychologically evaluated, he might do something nasty to you, and you could end up looking like a ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend of 3.5years wants space, saying she has feelings for another bloke. What should I do?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm after some advice. So here it goes. My girlfriend and I have been together for just over 3.5 years. We have practically lived together for 1.5 years but have only in our own place for the past few months. Things have been goo...
A. 27 August 2010: I, like tennistar think she cheated and that's why she came back crying. But there is no way she'll admit to you she did that, so you've kind of got to put that one on the back burner.
My big problem here is that you've been going out for 3.5 year... (read in full...)
Have distanced myself from some close friends but don't seem to regret it. Is this normal?
Q. During this summer I lost a couple of close friends it all seemed to happen so fast. Although I think about them sometimes and good memories we had. I'm not that phased that we're not cool anymore... I sort of feel like... I don't really know how to ...
A. 27 August 2010: You're moving on with your life. It's actually perfectly normal. When I was at school, I had a lot of friends. When I left, I lost contact with all but four close ones. And, in truth, that's all I need. You may well go through a phase where you miss ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's best friend passed away in an accident. How do I help him deal with this?
Q. My boyfriend of three years literally just lost his best friend to a drunk driving accident (it happened last night). He's not a complete mess over it (not crying or anything) but he's frustrated. Yes, they've been best friends for nearly a decade ...
A. 27 August 2010: I'm sorry for your boyfriend's loss, which has clearly become your own as well.
People handle grief in many different ways, so it's impossible to tell you what your boyfriend will do. He may well go on a binge, but he may not.
A few years ba... (read in full...)
Want to become a new, improved version of myself
Q. I want to be the kind of girl that guys chase after but they cant have. Supposedly im pretty enough for it but when a cute guy likes me i chase them then they lose the attraction. How do/can i not do that? I also want my boobsand butt to be bigger. ...
A. 27 August 2010: First up, you're only 13, so your body naturally will grow more. You don't need to do anything about your body at all. That will take care of itself.
As for making guys chase you, just do a bit of flirting, but don't chase. If they like you that... (read in full...)
Is a single 16 yr old who kisses 2 or 3 guys at different times considered easy?
Q. Dear Cupid.! Is a single 16 yr old who kisses 2 or 3 guys at different times considered easy? i personally think not but alot of people disagree with me so i want your opinion please. Remember she's single but she messes around with ALOT of guys. ...
A. 27 August 2010: I would say this.
I personally don't think there is a problem with people having fun when they're single. More often than not, it's a good thing because you learn about the opposite sex, meaning that as you grow older you have a better unde... (read in full...)
In love with my 24 year old English teacher
Q. Hey everyone, im very confused and depressed, i have fallen in love with my 24 year old english teacher who also teaches math coaches football and baseball this happened when i was in grade 10 i just cant get over him, ive never been in love before ...
A. 27 August 2010: Your response is so out of order it's unbelievable. You sit there and say 'thanks for nothing'.
Are you not listening!?
YOU CAN RUIN HIS LIFE!
What is it with teenage girls and teachers! You would rather him have his life ruined than listen ... (read in full...)
Is this RAPE??
Q. im not sure if this is rape... i was messing around with a guy and he started touching me...i didnt care about that but then he started putting it in and i was trying to push him off me at the hips but he was too strong.. i kept asking him to get ...
A. 26 August 2010: Yes, this was rape. You're also under-age as well. ... (read in full...)
Will taking 12 diabetes pills have any affect on me long term?
Q. hey, basically about a month ago i took 12 diabetes pills, (they were my grandmas coz she has diabetes, mum was going to chuck them) i didnt take them to kill myself, just to be sick because id eaten too much that day and wanted everything out of my ...
A. 26 August 2010: You won't develop diabetes because you won't have the chance to. Instead, you'll probably fall ill with something caused by an eating disorder. You are developing a serious eating disorder. The lasting effect will be that your body will either have ... (read in full...)
I'm truly in love with my teacher, should I wait 2 years to be with him?
Q. I'm in love with my 35 year old maths teacher... and, please don't tell me it's just a crush, because I've researched into what love feels like, and I asked my mum (not telling her about my teacher though) so I know for sure that I'm in love with ...
A. 26 August 2010: Married? Two kids? Not a chance. And teachers can't be with students or previous students until the age of 18.
You're asking us not to tell you to walk away, that you want proper advice.
Yet, you are willing to go to a married man and destroy ... (read in full...)
5months pregnant... how to tell my mom?
Q. Okay I am 13 years old and 5 months pregnant..... I have no idea how to tell my mom and I don't know how she'll react. I've kept this from her for 3 months. I am not really showing yet. I have a little bump showing. A few of my closest friends know ...
A. 26 August 2010: This is clearly something that needs to be done now, because you're running out of time.
In this event, I'd say ask your most trusted friend to be with you when you tell her so you have support. Have your friend there. Then, sit your mother down... (read in full...)
Should your boyfriend be able to hang out with girls alone?
Q. Should your boyfriend be able to hang out with his friends that are girls by there self,is it a big deal,an should I be worrying. I want replys from both male an female points of view thank you! ...
A. 26 August 2010: If you trust him, sure. In the same way that you should be able to hang around with boys as well. You're his girlfriend, and they are just his friends. I suspect if there was anything else in it, he would have made a play for those girls a long time ... (read in full...)
he is older than me, how do I tell him how I feel without him geting angry?
Q. Hello :) I think i'm really starting to fall for this guy but he's 19 and is going to be my youth leader. now i expect i'm going to get some pretty blunt replies telling me to stop kidding myself but allow me to explain slightly. i started going t...
A. 26 August 2010: Being honest, nothing here can happen at all. And he has said nothing can happen until you're 18, mostly because if something happened it could lead to him being put on the sex offenders register. He has, in essence, made it clear that he likes you ... (read in full...)
How do I play it when he gets in contact?
Q. Im pretty angry right now... my bf has been away on business and gt back last night... hes not bothered to contact me last I heard from him was monday. This is not unusual behaviour from him he does it quite often i just dont think he thinks i...
A. 26 August 2010: If you let him get away with it, you can't blame him entirely for acting this way. I think women seem to have this idea that men are mind readers, when we're not. If, when he doesn't contact, you accept it, he will assume that it's okay to not ... (read in full...)
My heart is telling me he didn't cheat, but my mind is telling me I may be stupid to believe he didn't
Q. I need help. My boyfriend and I are in a very serious relationship (We are planning to get engaged soon, he has a ring and everything). And last night when I was leaving his place, I was confronted by an older woman who stated that he has been ...
A. 26 August 2010: I think before we can answer this, we need to know who this woman was and how they met. I would love to say he didn't do it, but I need to know how he met her, who she is and what she said. ... (read in full...)
I want to have a baby in a LDR
Q. I have recently got involved in a LDR, and have fallen in love with my man. I met him while on vacation in the US Virgin Islands, and Im from the states. I am 25 and I am ready to start a family, and he wants to as well. Unfortunately he is on ...
A. 26 August 2010: I get the US citizen part. But, putting it bluntly and I'll hope you forgive me, you don't want your child to grow up resenting the father for walking out or getting into the trouble with the law again, or resenting you for having it with the ... (read in full...)
I want to lose weight to get back with my ex!
Q. what are the best ways to make yourself vomit and how fast does it make you skinnier? because i want to get back with my ex and im just way to fat. so i need help and i think vomitting is the fastest way. ...
A. 26 August 2010: That's not going to suddenly make your ex turn around and come back. Especially if your teeth are eroded because you've vomited so much. If your ex doesn't like you as you are now, suddenly changing your appearance won't suddenly change his mind. ... (read in full...)
Were two different people! how can I steal his heart?
Q. hey everyone, this may sound different, and please dont think im being offensive...i really like this emo boy, but im sort of a prep. i love wearing fashionable clothes and a nice hairstyle, and im always smiling. im always thinking of him ...
A. 26 August 2010: Try talking to him, and see if there are some things you do have in common. The only way you'll know if you can steal his heart is if you have a few things in common and talk together. ... (read in full...)
No One Likes My Husband
Q. Help! My husband and I have separated after 10 years of marriage due to the way he treated/rejected my adult child. We are working on our relationship, however, I have just been made aware that no one in my family likes him at all and has only ...
A. 25 August 2010: If he treated your child badly, you shouldn't reconcile. If you do, then to everyone, including your own children, he's better than them all. Your parents are right in saying that the treatment was a deal breaker. It should be. If you reconcile, ... (read in full...)
Once a Mummys' Boy, Always a Mummys' Boy?
Q. Hey, I've been with my boyfriend almost 2 years, we're both serious about each other, and we've talked about having a serious future together. However, in a recent argument he text me saying "well guess what my mother is far more important than ...
A. 25 August 2010: Oh, you need to end it with this guy. He actually had the nerve to say that his mother is FAR more important than you. At the very least, you should be as important. And in my opinion, a partner/wife/husband comes before anyone else (except your own ... (read in full...)
Are most men lazy?
Q. I am looking for a second opinion due to the lack of male influence growing up in my life. I have been with my boyfriend for about 2years. We are living together and discussing marriage. I am starting to question some issues regarding housework ...
A. 25 August 2010: No, this is not most men. We learn from out parents. If his mother did everything and his father did nothing, he will think women should do everything. Not all men are like this at all. Perhaps you should say to him that this is affecting your ... (read in full...)
I want to have a baby in a LDR
Q. I have recently got involved in a LDR, and have fallen in love with my man. I met him while on vacation in the US Virgin Islands, and Im from the states. I am 25 and I am ready to start a family, and he wants to as well. Unfortunately he is on ...
A. 25 August 2010: This is such a bad idea. You've not lived together, you've not really spend time getting to know each other, he's on probation for at least another year and a half, and you can't be totally sure the US authorities will let him in. This is such a bad ... (read in full...)
In love with my 24 year old English teacher
Q. Hey everyone, im very confused and depressed, i have fallen in love with my 24 year old english teacher who also teaches math coaches football and baseball this happened when i was in grade 10 i just cant get over him, ive never been in love before ...
A. 23 August 2010: Uh-huh. I had a friend like you. She thought the teacher liked her. Turned out he did. He then got jailed. She ruined her life. You have no right to ruin his life. I don't care what you say about 'atmosphere'. You came her asking for advice. I'm ... (read in full...)
In love with my 24 year old English teacher
Q. Hey everyone, im very confused and depressed, i have fallen in love with my 24 year old english teacher who also teaches math coaches football and baseball this happened when i was in grade 10 i just cant get over him, ive never been in love before ...
A. 23 August 2010: You read too much into his actions. There isn't anything there at all. He's just a teacher. He will catch the eyes of everyone in the hall, he will talk to everyone, he will smile to everyone because that's what he's paid to you. He knows as well as ... (read in full...)
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