| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Help! I want to get married and he doesn't. He says that he doesn't believe in marriage!
Q. This is the first time i've done anything like this and so here goes....... I am living with my partner in a house purchased together, who I absolutely love and adore and he feels the same, this i am confident about. We have been together fo...
A. 8 December 2009: Yes, and when will he do it? No date, no proposal? Just a 'yes we'll get married one day'? Rubbish. He just said that you please you so you'll stay. I really don't think he'll do it.... (read in full...)
The sweet and caring guy? Or the attractive smooth guy?
Q. So, there was a guy that i was seeing and things were great but because he is attractive and we never discussed about commitments and loyalty. i had some doubts and before we could talk about it, i broke it off! i started to see another guy for ...
A. 8 December 2009: The grass looks greener...?
Many women discount sweet caring guys because they come across as boring. Lord knows that's happened to me enough. Yet they flock to the smooth guys who go on to hurt them at some point, and let's face it, it already went... (read in full...)
I've kicked him out after years of emotional abuse, his sleeping all day and watching porn all night. Now he wants to come back.
Q. my husband and i were married for 5 years. he never got his ged or drivers lic. i was injured and out of work for 6 years. since then i've returned to work and began college. he sleeps all day and watches porn all night. i kicked him out after ...
A. 8 December 2009: You feel bad because that's how much he has been able to manipulate you. This is what controlling men do. Sadly, they're good at it. He doesn't feel your pain at all, it's an act. He just wants to get back into your house so he can control you ... (read in full...)
They were on the verge of going out and suddenly he's screaming at her.
Q. how does one deal with a situation where your heart is telling you one thing about a boy and your mind is tellign you another my friend has this guy she likes and they were on the verge of going out but suddenly hes mad at her and they are having s...
A. 8 December 2009: For her own safety, she needs to avoid him. Remind her that there are thousands of women who end up dead because if abuse. Well done for being a good friend. She needs to face it herself though, and needs to make her own mistake if she won't listen. ... (read in full...)
Why are guys so interested in breasts?
Q. Why are guys so interested in breasts. I have to live with them and why are they so special. My boyfriend is always talking about them and he even gave them a nickname. I get a little uncomfortable sometimes and at others i love it. I always think ...
A. 8 December 2009: Well, here's the male view. They're feminine and womanly, that's why we're fascinated with them (we don't have our own :), which is probably a good thing).
... (read in full...)
Who shall I ask to walk me down the aisle?
Q. Im getting married in christmas eve (my birthday) and not many of my family will be attending my dad died when i was 14 and me and some of my family arent really on speaking terms, who shall i ask to walk me down the aisle and will it be a happy day ...
A. 7 December 2009: That's a difficult situation to be in. I think it would be great to have some of your family there. do you have a brother you're close to (I only say that, because usually the bride is given away by a male). If you're stuck for ideas, a friend of a ... (read in full...)
I've kicked him out after years of emotional abuse, his sleeping all day and watching porn all night. Now he wants to come back.
Q. my husband and i were married for 5 years. he never got his ged or drivers lic. i was injured and out of work for 6 years. since then i've returned to work and began college. he sleeps all day and watches porn all night. i kicked him out after ...
A. 7 December 2009: Let him go. He wants you back so he can abuse you, lie on the sofa and watch porn again. He doesn't want you. Be brave and let him go, and focus on your own life now. ... (read in full...)
I am a virgin being tempted by a sex addict yet wanting to resist
Q. Dear Cupid, I am an eighteen-year-old female virgin who does not intend to have sex until her wedding night. While I do not have a purity ring (I think I'm getting one for Christmas, though), I do have kind of a purity symbol--I write the word p...
A. 7 December 2009: This guy wants you because you're a virgin. He doesn't want you because he loves you. He just wants to use you, and if you give in, you will regret it as much as your friend. Wait until you are with someone you love and someone who loves you. Or ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend masturbates and leaves the evidence in unusual places
Q. Okay soo my boyfriend of almost 3 years tends to look up porn online alot not everysday but when im not around....this really bothers mee...i know its normal but it makes me sick when he maturbates into out trash can in the bedroom or stuff like ...
A. 7 December 2009: Nearly all men do this, usually because it provides quick relief. At least he's disposing of the evidence. If you're looking for it, you're only going to get more hurt. ... (read in full...)
We met online, never face to face, I want to ask him out!
Q. Okay, so I met this guy on the internet, and we've talked pretty much every day for the last month. I've suggested that we meet up a couple of times, but we've actually never made concrete plans. He's a pretty busy guy, in quite a high pressure ...
A. 7 December 2009: Please be careful. You've asked him out, yet he hasn't replied to any of your suggestions. I think you can afford to try once to ask him out, but if you don't get any response, forget him. Also, if you do meet, meet in a public place and be safe. ... (read in full...)
How can I lose weight for my wedding in March?
Q. Hello ! I was wondering if someone could get me a 11 days meal plan on calorie switching diet.I tried to go on the net ,but they just want to sell it. So I need to lose weight for my wedding in march. I appreciate any help. ...
A. 7 December 2009: You might be best going to the doctor and asking for advice. Then you know what's best for you. ... (read in full...)
Why would my husband suddenly stop wanting sex?
Q. What are the reasons ,when a highly sexual husband suddenly stops wanting sex, and when he tries it he is losing his erections? I mean one day to the next... With no signs for any change. Just suddenly ,like bang. And its over. He went limp at the ...
A. 7 December 2009: There could be something on his mind that he's not telling you about. When men worry, erections are the first thing to suffer. Please try not to judge him, and try not to blame him or yourself, as that will make it worse. Instead, take the pressure ... (read in full...)
Torn in two
Q. After meeting my fiancé at our former place of work, I thought we were meant for each other and were going to be together forever. We had the chemistry, both on a emotional and physical level but it's slowly evaporated over time. Then our mutual ...
A. 7 December 2009: You are about to pay the price for cheating. Chances are he will split from you, and the chances are he will really hate you for it. If you don't love your fiancé, end it now. He has the right to move on and find someone who will love him. Truth is, ... (read in full...)
Why do my friends always get attention instead of me?
Q. hi aunts x, at dinner time me and my friends hang out but my friends lets call them lisa and fran always! get attention from all our male friends and it makes me feel really left out, i mean ill try to get noticed like taking my jumper off an ...
A. 7 December 2009: By being yourself young lady. Stop taking your jumper off, and talk to them instead, even if you have to make conversation. Maybe the don't think you're interested (men get very confused). So talk to them instead.... (read in full...)
How can I encourage him to admit how he feels?
Q. I like him and he 'secretly' likes me, but we're too shy to do talk openly about our feelings. How can i encourage him to admit how he feels? we don't talk alot as it is and often avoid talking to one another! he even asks my friends question...
A. 7 December 2009: My feelings, given that he has done a bit of talking to your friends, is that he's confused about how you feel and won't make a move because he thinks you will hurt him. He obviously told your friend to see how you would respond. If you want him, ... (read in full...)
Why does he keep on breaking up with me and coming back within weeks?
Q. i have had the same boyfriend for a yr and half. he has broken up w/ four times!!! and returns w/ in weeks ....anyone can tell me why??? ...
A. 7 December 2009: Because he knows you will take him back and he uses you. Clearly he's not the guy for you, and he doesn't love you enough, so for your own sake, perhaps it's time to move on. A man who treats you like this isn't worth the bother.... (read in full...)
I have no trust in him, he's been flirting with girls on dating sites again.
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for 1 yr a couple of months at the beginning i found out the was on dating sites flirting with girls on the net and i asked him about it he said he wouldn't do it again and now i found out hes been doing it again what ...
A. 7 December 2009: Get rid of him. You forgave him once, he has failed you and has proved he's not worthy. Now dump him and move on.... (read in full...)
Should I recommend her to divorce???
Q. My best friend suffered a lot cos her husband cheated on her and passed onto her a sexually transmitted disease. Now she's found somebody and they ocasionally have sex and she's thinking about divorce as her husband never apologised and doesn'r ...
A. 7 December 2009: Wait until she asks for your advice before you suggest that. In the meantime, tell her you're concerned about how she is behaving. That might just open her mind up a bit more to the idea of it. ... (read in full...)
Help! I want to get married and he doesn't. He says that he doesn't believe in marriage!
Q. This is the first time i've done anything like this and so here goes....... I am living with my partner in a house purchased together, who I absolutely love and adore and he feels the same, this i am confident about. We have been together fo...
A. 7 December 2009: Straight up, from a male, if he doesn't want to get married, he won't.
Now you have to think. Can you live with a man who does love you and is willing to commit at every level but put that ring on your finger, or would you be better ending it now ... (read in full...)
He's always trying to use me for sex... but could it be different this time?
Q. I have known this guy for about 4 or so years...he has always been the guy to usually want some..he's had girlfriends and such in these years but whenever they would break up he would always come talking to me again..usually wanting to hook up or ...
A. 7 December 2009: Somehow I doubt he's changed. A good guy who wants to get to know you doesn't try it on so fast. Surely he would offer to take you out somewhere on a date. I think you might be safer remaining friends.... (read in full...)
Weird friend problem... how to get rid of her or help her stop being weird?
Q. has anyone else had a friend who follows you round everywhere! well i do she is really annoying i mean she is nice to me and everthing but she wont even let me talk to my other friend without thinking am talking about her and this might sound weird ...
A. 7 December 2009: It sounds like she's a young lady trying to define who she is. This happens a lot. I wonder if she's not confused about who who she is and how she feels, and is trying to find out. She sounds very insecure to be honest. You do need to be a bit ... (read in full...)
He came back to me but now I don't trust him at all!
Q. I am having trust issues with my fiance. We first got engaged just over a year ago. In july of this year he ended it providing no reason at all. During our time apart we continued to see each other. He also began to sleep with other girls (3 that i ...
A. 7 December 2009: My advice to you would be to rethink very carefully whether you want to be with him or not, so you can then focus on either ending it or fixing it. He did come back, so to make this work, you both need to put a huge amount of effort in. I think you ... (read in full...)
Just found out my boyfriend called my ugly and a dog to his friends after sleeping with me...
Q. I recently started dating my best friend. We have been together a couple months, I know it was wrong of me but i went on his facebook and I found a conversation between him and someone. My best friend and I slept together a couple times a few years ...
A. 7 December 2009: Can you forgive him? I think carefully about that. If you can't, let him go now. ... (read in full...)
How could someone so polite and nice suddenly change?
Q. Hello, I have been seeing a man I met through a dating site, we clicked right away because we have the same goals. He treated me with respect and always sent greetings to my parents. He was actually talking about marriage after 8 days of dating. ...
A. 7 December 2009: Something has happened, and he no longer is interested. You have to be brave and move on.... (read in full...)
If you're not dating a guy, how far is too far?
Q. If you and a guy start talking and yournot going out yet, how far is tooo far? Are you aloud to make out with him or go farther? Or should you wait until your going out. Should you hold of to give a blowjob or have sex? HELP!...
A. 7 December 2009: Take it from a male, that if you give anything to him other than a kiss, he will see it as an opportunity to use you, rather than commit. Just a kiss. You want him to work for your love and attention, not get it all in one go and then run away.... (read in full...)
I left him because I thought I could walk back into his life, but he's got a girlfriend!
Q. i had dated this guy for 4years for no real reason-i was young,wanted to have fun(date other guys) but didnt want to b with him while at it.so i left him and thought i could walk back into his life becos he loved me so much...its 3yrs now and am ...
A. 7 December 2009: Sorry, you made a choice and you've paid the price. He is now telling you clearly and politely to back away from him. Do that, be brave and move on. He's not the guy for you.... (read in full...)
She won't let me do anything about this guy!
Q. This guy that dated my girlfriend once won't leave her alone and she wont let me take care of the situation as the boyfriend. When I try, she calls me annoying and tells me that it would only make things worse. All I ever wanted to do was maturely ...
A. 7 December 2009: Do as she says. She loves you, and if you act the big tough boyfriend who has a go, you'll look like an idiot in her eyes. She needs to know she can trust you, not watch you have a go.... (read in full...)
This married man is bad for me but I can't get him out of my head!
Q. Hi everyone, well i have been dating this guy for more than a year now. after 6 months in the relationship i found out he was married to which he said 'he was not with the wife anymore, he goes home just for the kids', I left him, he came begging ...
A. 7 December 2009: This has everything to do with your low esteem. I think you fear not being good for someone, so you settle for second best. Ask yourself a question. Do you want to be a lonely mistress for the rest of your life, or would you rather be the most ... (read in full...)
How do I cope with losing my virginity to the wrong guy? Dumb dumb dumb!
Q. lost my virginity last night - still feel like a virgin. It hurt and it was completely with the wrong guy - i remember crying after nad just wanting a cuddle - he feel a sleep and i was left in the darkness thinking about what i had allowed. I was ...
A. 7 December 2009: You look into a mirror, forgive yourself, accept it has happened and go and find a nice guy who'll love you. Get to know a guy first next time around, and remember there is no rush. And you're not dumb. You aren't the first, you won't be the last ... (read in full...)
He says he loves me like a sister!
Q. Sorry if this is just obvious and it sounds stupid but one of my best guy friends said to me he loves me like a sister. He's said in the past once when someone went and spread a load of lies that he loved me as a friend. But now he says he loves...
A. 7 December 2009: Yes. I think he really adores you as a friend. So you must be a very good one :)... (read in full...)
Can he get away with leaving me nowhere to live and without my belongings?
Q. Hi, I know I'm feeling sorry for myself, I feel tricked and not sure what to do. After asking my husband for a divorce in the heat of the moment, I left for a few weeks to think about it. I came back to him and suggested we go for counselling,...
A. 7 December 2009: Yes, you will. speak to the citizen's advice, and they can help. He might be clever, but he has been a little too clever for his own good this time. ... (read in full...)
Loving a pregnant teacher
Q. I never thought that I was a lesbian until I saw this new teacher at school. She came in the second term and she was just perfect.I dont have any friends at school and so I am usually very friendly and nice with the teachers.She was so nice with me ...
A. 7 December 2009: I don't think you need to tell her at all. I think that would only worry her at a time when she doesn't need to be worried.... (read in full...)
After a drunken night of hot tub sex, I find out he's got a girlfriend!
Q. Alright so I'm 17 and I went to my friends house last night to drink with him, his brother and his brothers girlfriend. We are all friends here. So the night progresses on and me and this guy , lets call him George, start to get closer. George and I ...
A. 7 December 2009: He has a girlfriend, which means you now know he can't be trusted. How would you feel if you were his girlfriend and he then cheated on you. You can't do anything else. If he wants you, he'll dump her and come to you. Don't do anything else unless ... (read in full...)
How can I make him see that she is trying to break us up
Q. My problem is my boyfriends female friend who has tried everything possible to break us up. The first time I went out with them she got ontop of my boyfriend and tried to kiss him. The second time I went out with them she pecked him on the lips ...
A. 7 December 2009: Sounds to me like he's the problem, not her. Yes, she might be making all the moves, but your boyfriend isn't doing anything to stop it. I think you'll find he more than enjoys the attention she gives him, then the attention you give him to make her ... (read in full...)
I broke his heart. Help me help him!
Q. Hey guys, need a bit of help. 5 months ago my ex left me and i was devasted, we had been together for a year and a half, and i found it hard to become stable as i couldnt do anything without being reminded of him and bursting into tears. W...
A. 7 December 2009: 1). Don't go out with any other guys until you're over your ex. That's not fair on the other guys.
2). Don't take this guy back, because you'll only hurt him more.
3). Don't ever go back to your ex. If he loved you, he would be with you.
Th... (read in full...)
Why does he listen to his mates so much?
Q. I have been with my fella for 2 years now, and love him more than anything! it started off great, we were the perfect couple, everyone was jealous... as we saw eachother everyday for a whole year, n still missed eachother when we werent together, my ...
A. 7 December 2009: Allow me to introduce you to the male mind. When he's away, it's convenient for him not to have a girlfriend so he can be with other girls. When he's near, he has you. There's nothing wrong with you at all. He's just a very selfish immature young ... (read in full...)
How can I be there for him?
Q. I am in a bit of a messy situation, and I do not know how to handle it. I am in love with a very close male friend. At the moment he is going through some pretty horrible emotional problems at home, with his family, and being the lovely, caring a...
A. 7 December 2009: Just say you're there if he needs to talk. That's all you can do. If you try to press anything, he'll clam up. ... (read in full...)
I don't feel like 'oh my god I did it' or anything like that... is something wrong with me?
Q. I’m 27 and the other week had sex for the first time. I’m not religious so I wasn’t waiting for marriage, I just didn’t find the right guy to sleep with while I was dating…and in the past guys left me because I wouldn’t give in to sex early on in ...
A. 7 December 2009: No, quite the opposite. In fact, it shows you were ready and you lost it to a person you were happy with and who you know cares about you. ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if he jsut likes me as a friend, or more than that.
Q. Ok. i like this guy.He is five years younger than me, i'm 26 next may, and he is 21 in february. I'm not sure if he jsut likes me as a friend, or more than that.He asks to meet up with me alot. He once made a comment that he thinks i suit short ...
A. 7 December 2009: I'm a younger guy seeing an older woman, so I know it can work if he is mature enough (and he does need to be mature, or you will notice differences). It sounds like he really does like you, but his responses worry me that he's not mature enough to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's divorce isn't going through because she shreds the papers and mails them back.
Q. Hello all. I recently started dating a man who I have cared for deeply for a very long time. When my exboyfriend left me, he was really good to me and let me know that I was worth something, even if my ex didn't think so. We've been friends for...
A. 7 December 2009: She is going to avoid signing those papers as much as possible. I don't know how it is in America, but in Britain the law was changed a long time ago to prevent this. After two years of living apart, a divorce can be finalized without signatures. My ... (read in full...)
How will I know if I'm 'in love' with him?
Q. Hey guys, i'm really confused. Ive been with my boyfriend for about a year in a half. Weve broken up about 3 times and have gotten back together. We broke up because we werent sure if we wanted to have a long distance relationship bec...
A. 7 December 2009: I think on this occasion your family are right. You've broken up three times, and you've argued a lot. And even know you're questioning it. Long Distance relationships take a huge amount of effort, and you both must be completely committed. I'm sure ... (read in full...)
He's been a flirt recently, and we just cuddled on a long bus ride....what does this mean?
Q. so i am a freshman in high school, and he is senior... he has has been a little flirt lately, he will hug me, touch me, just be so sweet around me. well, i thought it was just him being like that. but he sat next to me on a 3 1/2 hour bus ride. and ...
A. 7 December 2009: He likes you. Get talking to him more, and see where it takes you. ... (read in full...)
Can he get away with leaving me nowhere to live and without my belongings?
Q. Hi, I know I'm feeling sorry for myself, I feel tricked and not sure what to do. After asking my husband for a divorce in the heat of the moment, I left for a few weeks to think about it. I came back to him and suggested we go for counselling,...
A. 6 December 2009: No, he can't. Anything that was bought for you is yours, and he has to pay you maintenance because you were married to him. Go to this internet site www.citizensadvice.org.uk and find out where your nearest branch is by typing the postcode in ... (read in full...)
Loving a pregnant teacher
Q. I never thought that I was a lesbian until I saw this new teacher at school. She came in the second term and she was just perfect.I dont have any friends at school and so I am usually very friendly and nice with the teachers.She was so nice with me ...
A. 6 December 2009: She's just being friendly. I'm afraid she's a teacher, and you're a student and that's as far as it will ever go. She's married and she's having a baby. I'm afraid you have to be very brave and just work through your crush. She#s a lovely lady who ... (read in full...)
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