| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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I want my ex b/f back!
Q. I am 15 17 years old and about 2 weeks ago me and my 18 year old boyfriend broke up because he told me that he was still in love with his ex girlfriend. When we were dating I asked him more then once "Are you still in love with your ex"? and he ...
A. 5 December 2009: Well, you now know more about your ex in a matter of days than you ever would have in a year. He lied to you repeatedly, used you as a rebound and left your hurt. He loves his ex, and has the nerve to treat you like rubbish. Forget about him, cut ... (read in full...)
I love my son, I love my ex but I have to chose between them!
Q. I had recently started seeing my ex boyfriend again after being broken up for almost a year. Things seemed to be going okay . My teenage son who has never liked him, recently did something terrible to try to cause problems for us. I won't get into ...
A. 5 December 2009: You have the right to be happy with someone you love, and you need to make that clear to your son, no matter what happens. It could be that he doesn't want to be in competition for attention, or that he feels as if he's being betrayed. However, also ... (read in full...)
He is still loving but the texting and calling came to such an abrupt stop! What do I do?
Q. There's probably no way I can post this question without you thinking I'm insecure or irrational. I don't consider myself to be either, in relationships I definately like my space and the biggest problem I have come up against is ex's not giving ...
A. 5 December 2009: Men do find women confusing. Perhaps he just thought you weren't interested in the texts and such. That often happens. You spoke to him and he seems to have got the message, so as long as he's showing you he loves you, I don't think you need to ... (read in full...)
This MSN guy says he wants to have sex with me and we've just met!
Q. If this sounds a little weird, I've just gotten out of a difficult relationship so I'm paranoid about new guys ha. I started talking to a guy on msn 2-3 days ago and he lives near me but we haven't met, the thing is that he says he REALLY likes ...
A. 5 December 2009: This is a good reason to avoid him for the rest of your life. ... (read in full...)
What are your biggest problems these days?
Q. I wonder ,what are your biggest problems these days? I 'm really interested to know what are,or what were,the most painful things in your life so far? My life is truly horrible right now,and I need to see,I'm not alone. Whenever I talk about my...
A. 5 December 2009: I lost my job a while back, now I've set up my own company, and at the moment I'm very worried I'll go broke.... (read in full...)
First date in 3 years...why am I so paranoid about it?
Q. Hi everyone, ok so I'm in a pickle and I have to solve it by tonight, which unfortunately doesn't leave me much time. From May til November I was constantly trying to be rid of my ex-bf. He was verbally abusive, lied about everything and I was si...
A. 5 December 2009: Easy there! It's your first date in three years, and you were hurt. Of course you're nervous! But the worst thing you can do is assume this guy you're meeting tonight is going to be like your ex. Let him pick you up. You can always get a taxi. Just ... (read in full...)
Is his pride stopping him from having a relationship with me?
Q. Hi , Please tell me what to do, i went to visit my relatives in a another country met a nice man we just clicked and started dating and we even talked about marriage, everything was good and he promised to come to visit me in my country so i lef...
A. 5 December 2009: There is more to this than money. I just don't think he's that into you. He may not accept your money, but he would certainly work flat out to visit you if he loved you that much. My advice is to follow his advice. Let him go. You'll find someone ... (read in full...)
I am on an emotional roller coaster and I don't know where my life is headed
Q. so i sat down tonight and started thinking..what am i gonna do with the rest of my life? and all i came up with was-i dont want to go to school the rest of my days and go to college and learn to do something i dont even want to do but at the same ...
A. 5 December 2009: At some point, everyone asks this of themselves. It's natural, when a lot is all going on or when we're nearing a change, to feel this way.
You sound like you need to spend some time just living for yourself. Your boyfriend clearly isn't the guy ... (read in full...)
He's my world... so why can't I say these 3 special words to him...?
Q. i can't say i love him and i can't say i don't. let me explain. i'm so paranoid.i worry about things i shouldn't be worrying about and i overthink things. this has been going on for exactly a year and i'm worried and i'm loosing sleep and ug...
A. 5 December 2009: Has someone hurt you in the past that is now causing you to just be careful of being hurt again? You sound like you do love him, but you also sound like you're scared of being hurt, so avoid getting too close. Look back over your life and see if ... (read in full...)
What have I did wrong that he's acting this way towards me?
Q. Hey im sorry if this wastes your time but i have a weird situation with a guy mate of mine. For the past nearly two years ive always felt like i get treated differently from the others. I wouldnt say always in a bad way but its definately not good. ...
A. 5 December 2009: My guess is he fancies you, but doesn't know how to say it. I can't be sure, but he sounds a bit like a love sick puppy to me. Have you ever spoken to him about how he really feels about you, or why he always acts a little differently towards you? ... (read in full...)
I can't tell if he is a keeper or just playing games
Q. hello all, id like to know if there is a way you can tell if your man loves you or if your a "bootycall" with his actions in the bedroom apart from the obvious lol? eg do you feel a connection, do you just know because im confuse why so many girls ...
A. 5 December 2009: Well, if he's taking you on dates without sex, then you're more then a booty call. If he's taking you on dates, then expecting sex, then you need to slow down, and if all he's doing is using you for sex without real dates or time spent talking ... (read in full...)
She left him for me, will we end up happy ever after?
Q. Alright so I'll try not to write too much, but I'm sure it'll happen anyways. Try to keep up with the story and I'll do my best not to confuse you. Those of you who don't care to answer, you might find our story quite interesting, I believe it to be ...
A. 5 December 2009: Ask her why she's depressed. And ask her to talk to you, because you care for her and want to know how to to help her solve it. If she won't seek help though, then you really need to do some thinking. Also, if she hasn't really gotten over her ex, ... (read in full...)
I am hoping he will change his mind
Q. I started dating a guy who admitted from the beginning that he wasnt ready for a committed relationship with a single mother. We thought we could see each other and find a middle ground. Recently he decided that he didnt think us seeing each other ...
A. 5 December 2009: I think for your own sake, you need to cut contact with him. Don't think he will change his mind, because he probably won't, and you deserve stability in your life. Many women have stood around waiting for a man to change his mind, and many women ... (read in full...)
I like him. Do what others think about his looks matter?
Q. Hi guys, I kind of like this boy and some of my friends are telling me that he is ugly but others think he is goodlooking. I am really confused what do you think? http://s934.photobucke...
A. 5 December 2009: Who cares. If you love him, what does it matter? If looks are all that matters, then don't date him and focus on your own life for now... (read in full...)
Another teacher crush.
Q. Hey all, this may sound insane i have a huge huge crush over a teacher. my math teacher from 1st year secondary. Im a girl first of all she is aswell. My sexuality isnt defined yet. Im 14 yrs shes 26yrs. I dont kno what i can do im in love with h...
A. 5 December 2009: She's a teacher, you're a student, and for anything to happen would be illegal. Enjoy your crush, but that's all it is. It can't be anything more. Be brave and you'll find yourself. If she ever does suggest anything, then that's abuse and you need ... (read in full...)
One day he talks to me and the next he ignores me. Why?
Q. One day he smiles and talks to me, the next day he ignores me. What could it be? About a year ago I noticed this guy in the street, he noticed me too and we smiled at each other. This went on for a while. Then I bumped into him in a coffee shop...
A. 5 December 2009: Maybe he's confused. Guys aren't great at seeing signs. Try talking to him again and see what happens. If nothing comes of it, then move on.,... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and my friend are fighting. Neither will tell me why...
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for about a year and a half, we see each other as much as possible but it's a LD relationship at the moment. He did get drunk and cheated once before therefore I'm always worried. Well while online I told a m...
A. 5 December 2009: Hm, this sounds very suspicious. You asked a female friend and she said nothing, then you asked him and he threatened to leave you.
I don't think you went too far at all. Though you and I know nothing can be proved, it does sound like some... (read in full...)
He met my parents and then he dumped me.
Q. i'm 31 y-o woman, jobless and just got dumped by a divorcee who was an old buddy of me. the relationship went well until he came home to meet my parents, things really changed after that. after a couple of arguing, he changed his mind of getting ...
A. 5 December 2009: I know it's hard on you, and I'm sure you're feeling bad. But let's face it, he's no knight in shining armour. If he let his jealous friend and his mother influence him about you, then he's a very weak man who doesn't deserve you. It's not you at ... (read in full...)
How do I get him to earn my trust back?
Q. My ex and I broke up about 8 months ago. We had a very unhealthy relationship. No physical abuse, but cheating, horrible fights, constant worrying, constantly breaking up, until one day he finally ended things and I was completely torn. It took ...
A. 5 December 2009: I'll tell you straight not to bother with him. Your relationship was bad before and you were hurt. I seriously doubt that he will have changed. So ultimately I'm saying why bother with someone who has hurt you repeatedly in the past, when you might ... (read in full...)
Is there an easier way to do this?
Q. I am married but not happily and i have found comfort in a long time good friend. We ahve been texting and tlking on the phone for about 3 months now. He tells me that he left his girlfriend and is liveing with his mom. We text all day until about 8 ...
A. 5 December 2009: I agree with Double M. If his girlfriend has something to say, it means she's worried and may have seen this all before and he's a jerk. I'd suggest focusing on what you want to do about your marriage before getting involved with anyone else. If ... (read in full...)
How can I just let her down easy?
Q. hey everyone, its not really a problem but i need help. one of my bestfriends has a sister that really likes me but im not interested plus she too young. shes 13 and im 19. i just wanna know what to say to let her know im not interested without ...
A. 5 December 2009: Tell her softly that though you are flattered, you can't go out with her because she's just too young and you could get into trouble.... (read in full...)
Men's Opinion Wanted! Advice on how to blow his mind
Q. My boyfriend is coming back after being gone almost a month. I'd like to suprise him by doing something that will totally blow his mind! I'm in desperate need of a mans opinion! What is it you've always wanted your girl to do for you? I need sexy, ...
A. 5 December 2009: When he comes around, wear nothing but stockings and order him up the stairs to bed. ... (read in full...)
My real life version of "Bend It Like Beckham!"
Q. Okay, any of you guys watched bend it like beckham? well my situations sort of like that (apart from the football) im an indian girl and i do what i want, only rule is dont fall for anyone who isnt indian! well i have broken this rule, i have ...
A. 5 December 2009: If you both love each other that much, then maybe you have to take a chance. You'll only have one shot at life, and it would be a shame to spend it without the person you love, no matter what happens in the end.... (read in full...)
I have a boyfriend but hanker after somebody else
Q. I like two guys. One of them is my boyfriend... one is not. The other one has the best conversations with me ever, while my boyfriend will not call me on the phone and rarely has much to say. However, he is such a sweetheart and I can't stand to ...
A. 5 December 2009: Your boyfriend can't be all that great if wont' call you and doesn't have much to say. Don't be with someone out of guilt or pity, you need to be with someone because they help make you happy and you love them. I think the time has come to end it ... (read in full...)
My guy prefers his male friends company to mine
Q. i just broke up with my bf after realizing hes too attached to his friends that he decided to NOT communicate with me for 4 days straight and it was right after my bday to top it off, he didnt get me anything, not even a rose. I called 2 nights a...
A. 5 December 2009: You were right! Delete him entirely and never bother with him again.... (read in full...)
I'm doing all the chasing, but can't quite catch him!
Q. ok so i met this guy about a month ago at a college bar. i was dancing with my friends and he caught my attention as he was dancing with his friends so i popped a piece of gum in my mouth and approached him we started talking/dancing for about 10 ...
A. 5 December 2009: Well, in case he is really shy, invite him once and see if he responds. To be honest, he doesn't sound that interested, but he might just be shy. Invite him out once, if you get no reply or he doesn't show, don't bother with him again.... (read in full...)
My girl is ill but the doctors can't find anything wrong!
Q. I am worried about my girlfriend. The past couple of weeks she has had a very high fever. I took her to doctor but he just gave her antibiotics, this happened with three different doctors. She refuses to eat, saying the taste burns her mouth. At ...
A. 5 December 2009: Yes, this does sound psychological. It sounds like your girlfriend is feeling a of strain at the moment and everything is now getting to her. I think you need to really talk to her about how she's feeling at the moment. Sit her down, give her a very ... (read in full...)
Rumour has it he left his wife and children for me, but I hardly know him!
Q. I started working at my current job at the beginning of the year. This is my first job after university. I am a fairly open and friendly person and am friendly towards all the people I work with. This has led to one of the men at work to develop a ...
A. 5 December 2009: Let him sort all his marriage stuff out first before anything happens. It's still a bit early, even though it has been six months, to be making any play. There will still be the divorce and problems with children and such. Also, he hasn't really ... (read in full...)
I think a fellow student is mentally unbalanced
Q. I am a 20 year old childcare student, and i'm a bit concerned about another girl on my course.. I think she may have mental health issues. I was walking from the train station yesterday toward the college and initially she was behind me, but when I ...
A. 5 December 2009: I think it might be a good idea just to have a word with your tutor, but be gentle about it, because you don't know what's happened to the girl in the past. If she is talking to herself, and comes across as a loner and is bolting past everyone to ... (read in full...)
He is married but still comes looking for me!
Q. Hello and thank you so much for taking the time to read this because I really need some advice - me and my ex boyfriend (also my best friend) dated for 2 years and for the first time, I fell madly in love.. However our relationship was not perfect ...
A. 5 December 2009: He's playing because he knows this is how you'll react. Now you really need to ask yourself a question. Do you want to be the plaything of a married man who just doesn't care and is using you, or would you be better never meeting, talking to him or ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is a yoyo, here, gone, here, gone, will he be back?
Q. Hey everyone. Well basically, I was with my boyfriend for over 8 months... my first proper relationship. He dumped me on Thursday, saying that 'he didn't want the commitment of a girlfriend right now.' Yep, I know what you're thinking, anot...
A. 5 December 2009: I think he's the worst thing you need right now. I have a feeling he's playing the field and coming back to you when there's no one else. Never rely on someone who treats you like this. You're just wasting your time. How many more times will he come ... (read in full...)
He wants to wait but I want him now!
Q. Im 15 and a 26 year old likes me and i like him he say he'll wait till im 18 i want him now tho what should i do?...
A. 5 December 2009: I'm afraid he's right to wait. You're too young at the moment, and he could go to prison and have to sign the sex offender's list if he does anything with you. He's shown a huge amount of respect to you by waiting, and believe me it's better that ... (read in full...)
16, and I want to have sex! Who should I do it with, random guy or close friend?
Q. im 16, and i feel like im ready to have sex. i dont want to do it with some random guy, but would it be better if i did it with a close friend who is also ready??? (: thanks in advance x...
A. 4 December 2009: Sweetie, wait until you meet someone who really cares about you. There is nothing worse than knowing you've given it to someone who either doesn't care or is random. I've met quite a few women (and some men) who have been used or have given it away ... (read in full...)
I keep getting sex texts from someone I don't know! Help!
Q. I am recieving texts from someone i dont know, telling me to meet them at the bus stop and other things. They are mostly really explicit things involving sex, but i am not sure what to do. Help?...
A. 4 December 2009: I think you should tell your parents. This could be a stalker or something, or it could be someone at your school bullying you. So tell your parents and make sure you keep all the texts as proof. Also make sure you're safe as well, when you leave ... (read in full...)
He is engaged, but wants to be with me. My friend saw him looking at engagement rings, and now he says he has something to tell me!
Q. Gaaaaaaaaah! I'm going quite mad here, so someone PLEAASE help before I go do a Britney! Right then, the basics; I'm twenty six (ignore the age bracket, I clicked the wrong thing when I signed up, how clever am I??) and I'm an archaeologist, w...
A. 4 December 2009: Hm. He's so kind and fit that he cheated on his fiancée with you. You're a smart girl, so don't fall at the last hurdle here. This is very simple. Unless he splits with her, finishes it ALL, meaning comes to you having broke all contact and the ... (read in full...)
Should I give her another chance and play this stupid role forever?
Q. i knows it's a little long, i really want a different point of view. thanks in advance... i love this woman and her son (not mine) w/ all my heart. all my friends and my mother tell me to stay away from her. i try to stay away and its hard, be...
A. 4 December 2009: I think you've been lied to and failed enough if it's happened several times and she's said she will get help and hasn't. If she was getting help, I'd say have patience with her. But unless she gets help, there really is no point, because she won't ... (read in full...)
I need an opinion about what he wrote. (Short question!)
Q. Dear friends, I have come here in the past for your much needed advice and you have been so wonderful and thoughtful to respond each time. My question is in part short, it's something the man in my life emailed me a few days ago. This man wants t...
A. 4 December 2009: I would suggest that at this moment in time, he is very worried about his financial situation, and doesn't want to drag you into any mess. I don't think it's anything other than that. If you are worried, why don't you gently try talking to him about ... (read in full...)
Does every marriage go bad?
Q. What are the chances for a marriage going bad? Does every marriage goes bad, except the religious, like Christian marriages? It's not the same, that staying together for any cost, or love each other for real.. Is it very rare,when people truly are...
A. 4 December 2009: Marriage isn't a bad thing at all. And they don't all go bad, no. What has happened is the world has changed. More people expect more from life, they want more and if something doesn't seem like the fairytale it should be, rather than work at it, ... (read in full...)
My husband left me, I started dating and now my ex wants me back!
Q. My husband of 10 years decided to leave me and our two children who are still under 10 years old, for another woman about 6 months ago. My world was turned upside down. I did every thing in my power to make him stay. He wouldn't give me the time of ...
A. 4 December 2009: You need to step away from both guys. If things aren't going that well with this new guy, and you're now confused, then step away from him and step away from your husband. Instead of worrying about them, worry about yourself. You were the one ... (read in full...)
My wife cheated and left me twice, and I have a GF who is hurt because I'm still married... what should I do??
Q. Please I need help (tears). I'm shaking and crying writing this letter. Reader....Please take time to read this if you can. I have been married for 16 years. My wife is very controlling and is very jealous of me. A few years ago I was into modeling. ...
A. 4 December 2009: My friend, the whole issue you have is your wife. Everything that has happened to you that has hurt you comes down to your wife. She cheated several times, left you twice and is still controlling you now. There is no way you can have another ... (read in full...)
I want to forgive my ex, but my online guy says he's a total jerk. What do I do?
Q. I have been friends with my bf Ryan since we were like 5 yrs old. He asked me out on my first date a few days after my 16th bday and we have been together ever since. (WE ARE BOTH 20 NOW). We had a great relationship and just as much as best ...
A. 4 December 2009: There are two problems here.
One, you and your online guy have been getting closer, and this has had an effect on your boyfriend. He obviously is worried that you have got closer to this online guy.
Two, the cocaine your boyfriend is now taking. ... (read in full...)
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