| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
|
My 38 year old GF is smothering me and wants kids ASAP and I am not ready
Q. I 34.5 and my girlfriend is 38.5. We've been dating for almost 3 months and knew each other as friends for 2 months before that. I care for her very much, but feel as if I'm constantly being pressured to move quicker than I am comfortable with ...
A. 11 May 2010: No idea. Hopefully they worked it out. ... (read in full...)
Should I carry on trying to act like I believe in this fantasy?
Q. Hi sorry really long post. I ignored my intuition and moved back in with my ex husband again, we kept splitting up because he refused to have babies or commit to anything except work. Years later I am stuck in my ex husband's house. Before we were ...
A. 10 December 2009: I'd like to be able to say yes, you could sort it out. But if you actually take away the emotion and look at the facts, it's hopeless. He and you never really do anything together, with him claiming he's broke, he makes all decisions and tells you ... (read in full...)
Why do people like to inflict pain on me?
Q. I've always wondered this and it's getting worse by the months. More and more people tend to be horrible to me and i don't know why. Is it because of the person i am? Or what? People like to afflict pain on me. Why? For example, one of my friend...
A. 10 December 2009: Because you provide a reaction. The answer is, never put yourself in a situation where you end up being hurt. Always make sure you do work, always make sure you're present to do work, and don't play games with your friends. If you give a reaction, ... (read in full...)
Should I carry on trying to act like I believe in this fantasy?
Q. Hi sorry really long post. I ignored my intuition and moved back in with my ex husband again, we kept splitting up because he refused to have babies or commit to anything except work. Years later I am stuck in my ex husband's house. Before we were ...
A. 10 December 2009: This man is a controlling nightmare. You're married, so you can divorce and he has to pay for you. Go to a solicitor, see what you can get and get away, go abroad and have a wonderful holiday and live. Don't stay with this guy. He may not be evil, ... (read in full...)
What should I do about my future father in law?
Q. Hey. This is a short question but in order for me to get good answers, I think you need to hear all aspects of the problem. I live with my fiance and our daughter, who is a year and a half. We've been engaged for a year but next month is my 21st...
A. 10 December 2009: Your father in law is clearly a man who wants to try and control his son's life, and you are very right to not accept his treatment. The person you need to speak to is your fiance. You need to tell him that you will not accept his treatment, and ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend won't participate in our relationship
Q. Hi, My boyfriend won't participate in the relationship. refuses to answer any of my questions such as how did you feel about me when we met or your being very distant and always just doing what you want without any consideration of us. He spe...
A. 10 December 2009: He just isn't an emotional guy. Some guys just can't open up, some can. He can't. So now you have to make a decision. Can you stay with a guy who is naturally never going to open up, or can't you. If you're looking for a guy who will open up, listen ... (read in full...)
My crush for a college tutor
Q. Hey i need help as i am 16 and i have just started college and i fancy my 35 year old tutor. He takes me for most of my classes and i cant stop thinking about him. It started strangley from the first time i had him realy as he seemed really n...
A. 10 December 2009: It's not a stupid feeling, though there will be a few people out there who will say it. I'm afraid though, that it is an impossible situation. It can't be, because he's a teacher and you're the student, and that's it. I know you fancy him. Most ... (read in full...)
I am cheating but instead of making me happy, it makes me cry
Q. whenever my boyfriend and I have sex i never come unless he goes down on me, but lately Ive been crying after sex, Im also seeing some1 else and after sleeping with him I also started crying and I didnt even come, I laugh and cry alot its wiered and ...
A. 9 December 2009: I think you should stop cheating and look at your life. Sounds like you've got a lot going on, and maybe for now it's better if you focus on yourself without the complications of guys around you.... (read in full...)
Do I have a legal case to end this marriage?
Q. I've been married 32 yrs to a totally aloof man who can't communicate and has no joy or smile on his face. When I've tried to communicate,he always becomes defensive and says I'm attacking him. He's never had a normal relationship with me,his...
A. 9 December 2009: Well that's great news about the art. Maybe this is the moment in your life when you can start over a fresh with a dream and new outlook :). All the best.... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to pursue a relationship with her?
Q. I dated this beautiful girl in high school and for what ever reason I broke up with her. After high school graduation (1973), I started searching for her as I still loved her and have been searching and just now have found her. We have been ...
A. 9 December 2009: I don't think so at all. You're separated (I hope she knows that), and she's single, so why not spend some happy times together. Just take your time with her, get to know her again and hopefully she'll open up. Good luck.... (read in full...)
We've been getting more distant since we aren't having fun
Q. I needed some advice on how to be a boyfriend to my girlfriend, rather than act like a husband. We've been dating for 2 1/2 yrs. It seems as if we have been getting more distant since we have not been having fun. We have a routine relationship. So ...
A. 9 December 2009: Yes, if she has said she loves you, but is not in love with you, then this is why she is more distant, and that's not a good thing. to find out what to do, you have to ask her. Ask her how she wants you to bring spark back into the relationship. Get ... (read in full...)
Why is she so distant with me?
Q. I'm completely lost... My girlfriend calls me and texts me all day everyday. But she rarely asks me to come over anymore or asks to stay with me. She doesn't show me any physical emotions, like hugging kissing cuddling or anything. She says she ...
A. 9 December 2009: Well she has to open up, but you need to tread gently. Something has happened to make her feel this way. She's upset about something, though I'm not sure what. I think you need to be honest with her and ask her why she has suddenly become distant, ... (read in full...)
She broke up with me, has moved on and I am sick with hurt/jealousy
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together since around the end of September. It was a short relationship but we became very close very quickly and I fell head over heels in love with her, more so than any of my recent exes, with whom things just ...
A. 9 December 2009: Don't get her back, you won't. You need to cut contact with her. Although this may sound harsh, she has shown herself as someone who can't really commit and perhaps you are better off without her. It would have been worse if she'd done this further ... (read in full...)
I don't know if I can face sex yet
Q. MOD NOTE: Age states 13, but poster stated he is 15. Okay, theres this guy...lets call him Tom. Tom and I have been talking online for about two months, recently we admitted we have feelings for each other. Now, he is 18 and I'm 15, we are plann...
A. 9 December 2009: You need to really slow down with all your plans. If you're having problems at home, then this could be having an affect on you with your partner. If you can't face sex at the moment, you don't have to do it. Your boyfriend won't judge you for being ... (read in full...)
He's my friends ex, should I not see him?
Q. two weeks ago at this party I kissed my friends friend, we went back to a house after the party and things got a little more heated. I never thought anything more of it, but then he started texting me and now im going to get him on friday and im ...
A. 9 December 2009: My advice would be to let him go. First of all, it sounds like he doesn't really want anything else from you other than sex, and secondly, your friend would be hurt. He might be an ex, but if she still fancies, him you're in for a lot of pain. I ... (read in full...)
These are the things I bought for my BFs family for Christmas. Do you think Santa will bring me lots of goodies?
Q. what's you christmas shopping list this year ? finally finished all my christmas shopping... the follow list contains waht i got for the others as presents:, bf's dad: a wine shelf (together with my boyfriend.... we are poor students bf's step...
A. 9 December 2009: Well I just set up my own company, so a client would be nice :). Ten clients even better.... (read in full...)
My 38 year old GF is smothering me and wants kids ASAP and I am not ready
Q. I 34.5 and my girlfriend is 38.5. We've been dating for almost 3 months and knew each other as friends for 2 months before that. I care for her very much, but feel as if I'm constantly being pressured to move quicker than I am comfortable with ...
A. 9 December 2009: There is no future here if she wants kids now and you don't. The fact is, she is running out of time and knows it, and is now feeling incredibly insecure about it. So you can either tell her straight that she's smothering you and driving you away, ... (read in full...)
Is this guy worth a second date?
Q. pls help me, im a virgin n never been in relatnshps..nw my bf is askin fr a second date....on d first he lockd hs car n grabd my breast n kissed forcibly n tried 2 remove my top.i cried n he left me. he cld n said sry but continues wid horny mesages ...
A. 9 December 2009: He locked his car, grabbed you, made you cry. No, he's not worth a second date. Never talk to him again.... (read in full...)
We got together and now we're drifting apart, advise, please?
Q. What is up with boys ???? I just don't understand at all.Either they want you or they don't. I was kinda serious with this boy for ages and we really liked each other and we were both going to be at the same place for halloween night so we left it ...
A. 9 December 2009: It might have something to do with it. But I'll still say that I don't think he was ready. Don't worry too much, other guys will be out there. ... (read in full...)
Is a friends crush a no go zone??
Q. my friend likes this guy. he is kinda hot but i dont like him in that way. i got his email address and we chat sometimes... but now...i don't know..i sort of like him. wat do i do now?? i mean...is a friends crush a total no-go?? help!...
A. 9 December 2009: The problem is you know your friend really likes him, where as you're not to sure how you feel. I think it would be better not to go out with him or tell him how you feel. That way, you don't get hurt, he doesn't and your friend doesn't... (read in full...)
We got together and now we're drifting apart, advise, please?
Q. What is up with boys ???? I just don't understand at all.Either they want you or they don't. I was kinda serious with this boy for ages and we really liked each other and we were both going to be at the same place for halloween night so we left it ...
A. 9 December 2009: Simply put, young women grow up far more quickly than young men. You're far more ready for a relationship than he is. He could be shy, he might suddenly not be as interested, it could be that he's just not ready yet. Bes thing to do is tell him ... (read in full...)
My wife watches porn while I'm at work. How do I get past this?
Q. My wife is pregnant with our third child. We've been married for 13 years. Over the years I've been constantly trying to spice things up in the bedroom and failed. She always seemed satisfied with the simple wham bam. She claimed to be open to anyth...
A. 9 December 2009: I think you are good enough. I just think she's tired, or maybe very shy in the bedroom. Try asking her if there is anything else you can do for her (other than sex), to try and take the burden off her a bit. It must be quite difficult being ... (read in full...)
Is there a chance that I might be pregnant?
Q. Ever since i thought i was pregnant, my periods have become more irregular... and i actually skipped one last month! My mother keeps questioning me about pregnancy, of which i've been denying because the last time i had intercourse was back in July ...
A. 9 December 2009: Best go to the doctor and get tested. Then you'll know for sure.... (read in full...)
We broke up, but I miss him, what should I do?
Q. I broke up with my ex a year ago in a bit of a hasty decision. I think I still have feelings for him but I'm not interested in a relationship or anything serious as I'm in college. But I miss just talking to him and wanted to get back in touch with ...
A. 9 December 2009: It's not a good idea, because although you like him and miss talking to him, he still fancies you. If you suddenly started talking to him again, he might think you're interested in getting back together with him, and he could end up really hurt once ... (read in full...)
He loves me but he doesn't show me any "love". What should I do?
Q. I need some smart advice!. So this is a long long marriage ,and I would like to stay in it, if its possible!!!!!! But ,I'm not sure this is possible. Here is the problem!My husband does not show love, yet he says he does love me. I'm very very con...
A. 9 December 2009: I'm afraid when it comes to it a man is measured on his actions, not his words. It's not good enough to for him to tell you he loves you without him showing it. I really think you need to do more therapy, and I think you need to tell him to his face ... (read in full...)
2 boys love me and never want to lose me
Q. i have two boys telling me they love me and never want to lose me, One was from a previous long term relationship the second boy ive been with a month but he keeps threatning my ex and his having trust issues. I still really like my ex I do...
A. 9 December 2009: Well stay away from the tough guy. He's a little too intense and perhaps a little weird to be honest. And your ex is your ex for a reason, son not a good idea to go back to him either. And that means that your Mr Right is still out there.... (read in full...)
20 and never had a serious relationship!
Q. am 20 and ive never had a serious relationship... am a nice girl with a big heart.. friends loves me and everyone i meet says am a lovely person..guys all say am pretty and sexy. but i want a guy who would love me.. am always alone on ...
A. 9 December 2009: Of course there's hope! There are millions of men around. Some fantastic, some terrible. You have to find yourself a fantastic one. They're out there, but you have to work through all the terrible men to get to them. I suspect you've been meeting ... (read in full...)
Do I have a legal case to end this marriage?
Q. I've been married 32 yrs to a totally aloof man who can't communicate and has no joy or smile on his face. When I've tried to communicate,he always becomes defensive and says I'm attacking him. He's never had a normal relationship with me,his...
A. 9 December 2009: Oh yes, you have a legal case all right. You do need to end it for your sake and your sons, no doubt who have had to endure some of this. Yes, you have a case. The violence is wrong entirely, and I'm sure if you go to a lawyer with all your issues ... (read in full...)
Is this cougar after my man?
Q. im in my twenties and have been with my partner for 4 years.he is in his thirties.iv always bee abit jeleous but am getting better.any way theres a woman he woks wiv that realy likes him.shes 50 she texts most days and trys to ring though he doesnt ...
A. 9 December 2009: Yes, she does fancy him. Has anything happened between them, I don't think so. I think it's very likely she sent the letter saying he had cheated, that's a female sort of thing to do (no disrespect, but I think men are more obvious about it all). I ... (read in full...)
I want to find out who my biological father is!
Q. I must admit I have a worse problem than my fiances sisters and his ex. This is a problem I'm afraid to talk to him about. I was adopted at birth and after 17 years finally went this last summer to meet my biological mother. I feel like that w...
A. 9 December 2009: Well congratulations on the wedding :).
I agree with Askoldersister. I am sure you want to know about your past, and who your real father is, but you could be setting yourself up for huge heartache. The only real to find out who he is to ask your... (read in full...)
Should I resign myself to my current unhappy life or pursue the new relationship...it's just so hard. Is there an answer?
Q. I don't know where to begin, so I will start with some background information. I have been married for 20 years, have a child in college, 1 in high school and 1 in 4th grade. I got married at age 26. When I dated my wife we had a lot in com...
A. 9 December 2009: I think you do need to stop the affair for now, so you can focus on what you want from life and to see whether you can fix your marriage at all. It sounds like because you and your wife never really talked about both feeling rejected, you just ... (read in full...)
Should I pursue she shy guy or let him go?
Q. hi everyone ! I need some serious help! I like this guy so much and we are in the same class together, he is so shy !! I know that he likes me back, because I've seen him a lot of time looking at me but when I look at him, he looks away or leaves, ...
A. 9 December 2009: Talk to him and ask him out on a date. He likes you, he probably is shy and doesn't want to say it.... (read in full...)
Should I meet for sexual activity? I don't want to date him and I'm 15.
Q. I am meeting with this boy this friday from my school. He is just so mmmmmm sexyyy its weird coz i never fort i wus ever go out with him before in my life. i think he wants to have sex with me but so do i ha i dont wanna go out with him tho j...
A. 9 December 2009: No, don't. You're 15, so you're too young in Britain. And you might regret it later on if you only had sex with someone because they were hot and not because you loved them... (read in full...)
Alot of sex sometimes without condom equals pregnancy?
Q. My boyfriend and i used the pull out method ,but one night we did it several times, and after he pulled out i would give him a hand job then an hour or less later we did it again. I am not really sure how long its been since that night and we have ...
A. 9 December 2009: Yes, you could be. Get to the doctor and get tested.... (read in full...)
Stubborn boyfriend is rethinking relationship because I'm not ready to move in.
Q. Thanks to anyone who reads and replies to this. Ok me and my bf have been going out for about 3 years. Hes just recently asked me if we could move in together after my 1st year of uni. I am not ready for such a commitment like that. Ive just sta...
A. 9 December 2009: If you're not ready, you're not ready and that's it. If he can't respect that, then there's no point in continuing. What happens in the future if you want to have a child and he doesn't or he wants to marry and you don't. Is he always going to go ... (read in full...)
Hands jobs and embarassment
Q. ok so me and my boyfriend have been dating for over five months and just a few days ago i gave him his first hand job (in his life) and he gave me my first(in my life). i have a few questions now though. 1:since it was my first hand job, i feel...
A. 9 December 2009: No need to be embarrassed. He will have enjoyed every second of it. ... (read in full...)
I'm jealous of my boyfriend's anatomy!
Q. So recently I realized that I'm constantly feeling envious of my boyfriend's sex organs. I don't know what to do, it is a constant obsession that actually interferes with my life. I'm incredibly satisfied in bed, always, and have an orgasm every ...
A. 9 December 2009: If you only knew how short a man's orgasm was. You've never want to be a man again. Believe me, men may climax more easily, but you girls have ten times more fun when it happens.... (read in full...)
He cheated and yet I'm in love with him still
Q. i am sixteen years old. in love. yea i know. i'm an idiot right? don't know what i'm talking about. believe me when i say i do. i fall hard for this boy. lost the vcard to him. LOVE him. he cheated on me...with my best friend. and with a french ...
A. 9 December 2009: 4 times, and you still love him. Shame, because your loyalty could be used elsewhere. The good news is it will be. Take your time getting over him, make sure you're seeing your friends and keeping busy, and under no circumstances to back to him. ... (read in full...)
In a relationship with no title
Q. Ok here's my situation. I'm 19 and I'm dating a 28 yrd. We started off just hanging out then i moved in with her to help pay bills, then we started dating. Now she was in several relationships before me and suposedly cheated on in all of them. She ...
A. 9 December 2009: You're her lover, not anything else other than that. If you can't handle that, move on.... (read in full...)
I have a girlfriend but think about others girls, and told my girl this!
Q. I am currently dating a girl I have been with for 3.5 years. Here recently I have been getting strong feelings for other girls. Especially her roommate who also happens to be my best friend and my girlfriend's best friend. I have told her about ...
A. 9 December 2009: Let her go. You don't love her enough, and by telling her she now knows it. If you want to have fun, end it with her and have your fun.... (read in full...)
My girl's biological clock is ticking after 8 years together but I wont commit
Q. Hi there My girlfriend and I have been together for 8yrs. She is 29 and I am 31 in three days. She really wants to have kids, but I am not sure. Sorry for the long story that follows but it gets a bit more complicated. I can imagine having kids...
A. 9 December 2009: I'm afraid you have to let her go. A woman's fertility is at its highest aged 29, and after that is begins to decline. In six years time, when she is 35, it will be 40% harder for her to conceive, there will be a higher chance of the baby being ill ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my lover's wife her husband is a philandering fink?
Q. hi there i thought i was the only woman who is involved with a married man but it seems there are out many out here and i wish someone can help me. we works for different companies, then texted, emailed, he sent me flowers, chocolate and w...
A. 9 December 2009: Cut all contact. That's what you have to do. It's not your problem anymore. ... (read in full...)
I snooped and found things, now how to confront him!
Q. i know its wrong of me but i recently went thru my bfs cell phone and found things that bother me. How can i confront him without him knowing i went in his phone?...
A. 9 December 2009: I'm with the others. You've snooped and found something. You can't confront him unless you say you snooped, so you have to confess and see what happens.... (read in full...)
| *aringGuy's friends
These are mutual friends, so *aringGuy has
added them and they have added *aringGuy!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
