| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Help!!! I love them BOTH!
Q. hi everyone i no its sounds stupid but i love 2 boys but i can never summon up the courage to ask either out but something that i have constantly do is listen to songs and think "god, i wish i could sing this to them" because they say all i want to ...
A. 16 December 2009: Relax. You're a young lady and you're growing up. However, there is only ever room in the heart for one, so the chances are you just really fancy both guys. So instead of worrying about them, focus on yourself for now. When you do meet the right ... (read in full...)
By penis only!
Q. I am 20 years old and I am a virgin. I dont know how to have sex, I was looking for educational videos but all i found is porn videos and its disgusting. Can a girl have first time sex (losing virginity) without using the finger, just by penis ...
A. 16 December 2009: A woman loses her virginity when a penis enters a vagina. That's the only way.... (read in full...)
Do I just ask him where it's going?
Q. I'm 23 and have been single for 4 months now. I've been getting on quite well with a guy who used to work with me, we kept in touch when he was made redundant but I'm not sure where things will go. He has been single for 4-5 months too, he had a bad ...
A. 16 December 2009: Best thing to do is ask him. He might be very shy and not really know what to do. So yes, sit him down and ask him where he sees all this going. Good luck.... (read in full...)
Cheated in a long distance relationship... can I forgive her???
Q. I am in a long distance relationship with a woman in another country for 3.5 years now. She is 26 now. We love each other very much and our sex is so good that it is almost unbelievable. To my huge dissapointment, after 6 months into our ...
A. 16 December 2009: To be honest, I don't think it can. Long distance relationships take a huge amount of effort, and she has cheated, meaning she wasn't putting the effort in. She has failed you. You would do better to move on.... (read in full...)
My Techie Crush!
Q. Okay. So there is this amazingly beautiful man at my school. He is a techie, he fixes the computers around our school and stuff. And ya, you've guessed it.. I like him. Probley way too much. But its freaky. I've NEVER felt anything like it in my ...
A. 16 December 2009: Sorry young lady, it can't be. He's married, he works at a school and you're not 16, so it just can't happen. It's perfectly natural to have a crush on someone. But that is all it is. Enjoy your crush, make sure you're mixing with friends and having ... (read in full...)
My best friend isn't celebrating Christmas or attending birthday parties anymore. I would like for her to make one exception for me!
Q. I hope you can help me out with a friend of mine. Me and her have been best friends for 8 years. Her dad is a jehovah's witness and over the years she has gradually become one herself. Just a few months ago she told me she won't be celebrat...
A. 16 December 2009: You're not being unreasonable to ask her, but I don't think she will come. Clearly her own beliefs prevent her from coming. Please don't think she doesn't like you, or doesn't want to be your friend. It's nothing like that. If she believes she can't ... (read in full...)
How can I feel like a martyr because my married lover makes me feel misled and used
Q. Dear Cupid, I am very confused and I need your advices. I am with an online relationship for 3 yrs, and I met a senior married man of 65 and I am 34 separated woman. I know it is wrong to involve myself to a married man but I just couldnt r...
A. 16 December 2009: You will always be used by this man. A man shows his love by committing. If he loved you, he would be with you. He's using you, and you need to get away from him. ... (read in full...)
Can't achieve and erection with his wife, but he can with other women??
Q. Does it ever happen ,that your husband can't get it up with you, but if he can with someone else? My husband has bad erectile dysfunction, but the doc thinks he can do it, it is just on his mind. Well, I don't know ,what do you think?...
A. 16 December 2009: Your husband could be under stress, or he could be unhappy or worried. There are other explanations that him being with another woman. I would suggest you gently talk to him about his life and see how work is, or if he's stressed or worried,.... (read in full...)
My boyrfriend is treating me to a vacation in Firenze after which I'll be on vacation for 3 weeks with another man.
Q. [Moderator note: Please do not post identifying information about yourself] My boyfriend will bring me for a 10 days holiday in Firenze and he will pay everything for me. But at the end of the holiday I will tell him that I booked a flight for a 3 ...
A. 16 December 2009: He will feel hurt and used. If you're his girlfriend, why are you going with another man? It would be kinder to dump him now, and not hurt him. ... (read in full...)
What is the least painful sexual position for a virgin?
Q. Im 14, and me and my bf are ready for sex for the first time, im kinda scared though, whats the easiest/ least painful position for first timers?...
A. 16 December 2009: May I remind you that it is illegal to have sex in Britain under the age of 16. Your boyfriend could go to jail, and you could get pregnant at a time you don't need. Please think about that carefully.... (read in full...)
Is love enough when everything else in the relationship is crumbling?
Q. Hello all, I have been with my Fiance for 3 and 1/2 yrs. I don't know what to do. She has 3 children from a previous relationship, (that I love so much) but I am trying to leave them out of this equation, because I cannot stay w/someone just for ...
A. 16 December 2009: No, love isn't enough at all. It takes a lot of work. It would be sad to end it though, if there is any way it can be fixed. Soi my first bit of advice is that you need to sit her down by herself and tell her you're very worried about the ... (read in full...)
Should I cheat or not?
Q. Dear Cupid, I have already lost interest in having sex with my wife whom I think to be frigid and I had been masturbating about my sister-in-law whom I think to be horny as I saw her on many occasions masturbating with her pillow. I have plans to...
A. 16 December 2009: This is a very bad idea. First of all, you need to communicate with your wife. Talk to her and tell her your marriage is in trouble. Don't cheat, or you will destroy your marriage and maybe hurt both your wife and sister in law very much. You need ... (read in full...)
I am over worrying about not falling pregnant yet!
Q. I know this is probably a question for doctors but I just want opinions really as I am worried. Just over 2 years ago I got pregnant after 8 months of trying but suffered a miscarriage at around 8 weeks which has made me worried about getting pr...
A. 16 December 2009: I think it might be worth talking to a doctor about it and getting both yourself and your partner checked out. Also bear in mind that stress can have an effect on a woman's ability to conceive, so try to stop worrying as much, or it might take ... (read in full...)
How do I give him subtle hints that I like him without putting myself out there too much?
Q. I have known this guy for 25 years and we have gotten close in the last two years. We talk everyday all day on email, facebook and text. I know everything about him... as a friend. Six months ago we crossed that friendship line and have slept ...
A. 16 December 2009: If he's shy, he'll be too nervous. Take it from a male that subtle hints just won't work with him. He's probably confused about it all enough. Perhaps it should be up to the first guy to make the first move. But if he's too shy, he won't. I know a ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for not wanting my 22 year old daugther to bring boys home?
Q. Im a 49 year old divorcee and have a boyfriend. We get on well and my 22 year-old daughter also accepts him. My daughter never has a boyfriend until recently she starts asking a boy at work out for a drink. She said they are just friends he is ...
A. 16 December 2009: Well, your daughter is 22, so you need to let her have some freedom or she will just stay silent and do it anyway without you knowing. It is your house, so you can set the rules and she should at least have respect for that. But please remember that ... (read in full...)
We are mis-matched in terms of height, can we still have sex?
Q. my height is 5'3 and my bf is 6'2 can we have sex??? if so how????...
A. 16 December 2009: It doesn't matter how tall you are. You can have sex. ... (read in full...)
Please help! How can I revive my troubled marriage?
Q. How do I save my marriage and make my husband fall in love with me again? the romance is gone :( ? how do i put the spark back into my marriage? I feel like my husband and I are growing further and further away every day..we argue about everythi...
A. 15 December 2009: Very often men can get this way. It can be solved. The key is communication. You really need to speak to him alone and tell hi how you feel. Exactly how you feel, not just hints. If you are feeling unloved, use those words. Suggest counselling. You ... (read in full...)
Should I agree to being a swinger, to stop him from cheating?
Q. I've been married for 13 years. We have a pretty honest relationship and we have sex about once a week. I know my husband looks at porn and has for years. It doesn't bother me. However there are times when he has problems keeping an erection ...
A. 15 December 2009: You wanted an opinion from a male, so here you go. Do not go into swinging. You are right, it will destroy your marriage and I think you know deep down it is not for you. Clearly, what's more important now is that you and your husband have a big ... (read in full...)
How can I stop my former teacher from sexually abusing someone else?
Q. I am desperately seeking advice or help on this -- I am 19 now; but when i was at school i had a bad experience with my teacher. I had my shirt tucked in by him when i was 11 and thus established a crush on him which pushed me to move into his grou...
A. 15 December 2009: This is an awful situation to be in, because you've been to the law, you've been to the teachers and nobody has helped. I think it's very important that you get yourself some counselling, because you can be helped to understand your feelings, and ... (read in full...)
Are all guys this selfish in bed?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about eleven months now, and I really can't help but notice he can really be a selfish guy when he feels like it. Namely, I'm talking about our sex life. When we met I was a virgin. Before we started having ...
A. 15 December 2009: God almighty, he's really something else isn't he. No, not all men are this bad. Some of use work very hard! Ban him from sex until he does what you need him too, or think about finding someone else who won't treat you like an object.... (read in full...)
Is it possible to get pregnant if he hasn't penetrated me fully?
Q. Hi is it possible to get pregnant without properly having sex? Like can i get pregnant if he is just rubbin his penis up and down the inside of my vagina but not actually going right in? ...
A. 15 December 2009: It is possible, yes. A male's sperm is rather resilient and can often make a long journey. The important thing is not to panic. If you have done it within the last 48-72 hours, you can get the morning after pill. If longer, then it might be worth ... (read in full...)
I'm so tired of my boyfriend's accusations, I don't know what to do anymore!
Q. I have a problem. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now and we live together. Monday-Friday he works in another state and I'm at home by myself. I have three children from a previous relationship that lives with us too. I only get ...
A. 15 December 2009: You need to end it with him. His insecurities have made him so controlling you can't do anything about it now. You have been with him for two years, and all he does is accuse you. Time to leave and find someone else.... (read in full...)
I think my girlfriend is cheating on me, what should I do?
Q. What do I do when I think my girlfriend is cheating on me?...
A. 15 December 2009: Somehow you have to find evidence. Don't be obvious about it. If you do find evidence, confront her and then decide what you want to do. But you must find evidence before you do anything else. ... (read in full...)
How can we help her see that her relationship with him is ruining her?
Q. I have been best friends with this girl for 15 years. She has been seeing the same guy for over 6 years. They met in Grade 9 and have been together ever since. She followed him to University, and they are currently in their 3rd year together. T...
A. 15 December 2009: Simply put, you can't do a thing. When someone deludes themselves that much, all you can do is be there with the tissues for when it goes wrong again, which of course it will. Maybe she has self esteem issues, maybe she has personal problems at home ... (read in full...)
I have only one ball!
Q. Hi, im a 17 year old guy still in school im a virgin and my dick was 6" last time i checked maybe 5 months ago but thats not my problem my problem is i only have one ball in my sack nd i can feel the other one to the left right above my dick nd this ...
A. 15 December 2009: I think you might need to go to the doctor and get it checked. They might be able to help you. Other than that, all I can say is that if a woman measures you on the fact you have one testicle, then she's not worth the time. But you should see the ... (read in full...)
I texted my wife's sister and she's no longer talking to me!
Q. i have this sexually fantasy of doing it with my wife's only and youngest sister. she's not pretty. dark, thin, small breasted and all but i am really turned on when i think of having sex with her. i texted her anonymously but she's very bright she ...
A. 15 December 2009: Your wife's sister did the right thing. My advice is to really look at your marriage and work hard at it, because that matters more. ... (read in full...)
This pervy man has threatened me, posted pictures of me on the internet and I just don't know what to do!,
Q. This might seem like a strange question to ask help for, but I don't know who to turn to for advice. When I was 16 I was friends with an older man who told me he was a photographer. I was happy at first because I was studying photography at c...
A. 15 December 2009: I don't think you did bring it on yourself. It's easy to say that. But you were in an unhappy period of your life, and your turned to someone for help and comfort. Unfortunately, it didn't work out. I'm not sure anything can be done about the ... (read in full...)
I have a really nice guy for a boyfriend but am attracted to a player
Q. I'm completely confused. For months now, I've been going back and forth between these two guys. I've been available for both of them, but now that it has come down to it, I'm lost. The first guy, I've been with for 11 months today. But I hav...
A. 14 December 2009: I think you have to end things with your boyfriend. You know in your heart he's not really the guy you're after. Unfortunately, he is as he is. Just a nice guy, which means perhaps he's not as fun as you'd like, or as mysterious or adventurous. I ... (read in full...)
Ex won't take no for an answer and has anger issues, help?
Q. He won't take no for an answer and he's been violent in the past so I'm scared of what to do next. :( Texts: (btw, the guy he's talking about is my best mate.) Him: y cant i b ur bf still?xxx Me: Cause you argue about the same stuff everyday an...
A. 14 December 2009: You have to be strong and ignore him, keeping all the evidence. He does this because he knows you will respond. And I do agree with Emilyanswers, you do need to tell someone. Be brave, he's all talk. ... (read in full...)
I am attracted to older guys of about 28, could it be because I miss my Dad?
Q. Why am I attracted to older men? As in old, I mean guys from 28 years or older. I don't know if it's important, but my dad recently died - so maybe I like older men because I want to love a man who reminds me of my dad? I even found myself flirting ...
A. 14 December 2009: Nothing's wrong with you at all. Lots of women fancy older men, just as there are some men that fancy older women. It could be that you want the attention of an older male because you miss the attention of your Dad and you're looking for a kind of ... (read in full...)
Should I say yes to his proposal... or am I too young?
Q. 1)My boyfriend and I are both 16. Him and I have connected on an extremely deep level and already talk about marriage and kids. we've been dating for 7 months, and his friends and mom have told me he's planning to propose (they showed me the ring ...
A. 14 December 2009: It's very easy to say he'll give up his dreams. But he is a young man, and you're still young too. It's great that he wants to propose and have a future, but before anything else, you both need to make sure you have good plans for that future. What ... (read in full...)
Why does he always talk about sex to me?
Q. Hi. I have an odd question to ask. My best guy friend and I have our free period together, when the teacher doesn't have a class. So basically it's just him and I and we talk the whole time. Anyway, he always brings up sex, especially me having sex ...
A. 14 December 2009: Basically he's a horny young man with sex on the brain. I suspect he likes you a lot more than he want to let on, and it's a bit of a fantasy for him to ask you about it all. ... (read in full...)
I love myself but this girl makes me feel ugly...
Q. i fell really ugly because there is this one girl where i liv and she looks like lady gaga she idleises her sum but she calls me fat and ugly am i how can i tell... i am 16 years of age and im 5'5 i am 12stone i have black hair that is sholder lengh ...
A. 14 December 2009: It's not you at all. How can it be? There's only one girl who's saying it and it's her. And do you know why she's saying it? Because she's terribly insecure and the only way she can feel good about herself is to bully you. So don't let it get to ... (read in full...)
To go or not to go!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years, he has two children from a previous marriage. When we first started dating I wasn't sure if I wanted children or marriage. Now I know I do want one (a child) and I would like to get married. I am getting ...
A. 14 December 2009: If you let your dreams of children and a marriage go, in another ten years time you will feel terrible. Sometimes, something more than just love is needed. And this is one of those times. You want a child, and you want marriage. The only way to get ... (read in full...)
Ex won't take no for an answer and has anger issues, help?
Q. He won't take no for an answer and he's been violent in the past so I'm scared of what to do next. :( Texts: (btw, the guy he's talking about is my best mate.) Him: y cant i b ur bf still?xxx Me: Cause you argue about the same stuff everyday an...
A. 14 December 2009: Don't reply to any texts whatsoever, and don't remain friends. You have to cut him out of your life now. No friendship, no texts, no nothing. He has you on a string, because you're replying to him. So you don't have anything to do with him. But do ... (read in full...)
How can I give a good handjob?
Q. Tomorrow night I'm going to my boyfriend's house and we agreed that we were ready and mature enough to give that step in our relationship. How can I give a good handjob? ...
A. 14 December 2009: Satindesire has it right. Guys all have different tastes and ideas. So ask him and learn from him. ... (read in full...)
Should I Let Him Go?
Q. Okay, me and my boyfriend Jack* have been together for six months, I moved in with him four months ago when he found out my father was abusing me (my father said I could go live with Jack if I never went home again..I was fine with that) Anyway...
A. 14 December 2009: This is a sad situation to be in. But you have no reason to feel guilty or selfish about this. You haven't done anything wrong. He's a great guy, he adores you. I think it would be better to tell him than to not tell him and leave. He's going to be ... (read in full...)
Can men be in love but not be into all the kissing n cuddling stuff?
Q. Can men be in love but not be into all the kissing n cuddling stuff? I am with a man I love dearly, but he is not one for showing his emotions. When I questioned him about it he replied that the kissing and cuddling isn't really for him but he shows...
A. 14 December 2009: Yes, it's true. Not all men can show their emotions outside the bedroom. but as Eyeswideopen says, if you're gently, and just slowly huge him more and such, he will feel safer and be able to respond. ... (read in full...)
Is it a coincidence that he keeps showing up?
Q. I have a history with this guy and I seem to have always loved him( even though there are times when I have hated him)We didnt really end in the best way- yet it wasnt the worst. Well I recently decided that Im done with the boys since they ...
A. 14 December 2009: I don't think so. I think you're really observant. You obviously adore him still and you haven't got over him, so I think every time you see him, you want to believe it's because he fancies you. but you know he's not the right guy for you, so just ... (read in full...)
Is my ex making me jealous through facebook?
Q. Hey guys. I wondered if you could help me out. Basically my ex boyfriend dumped me about a week ago because 'he didn't want the commitment of a girlfriend anymore', and I agreed with it, and deleted him off Facebook and told him I would do just...
A. 14 December 2009: Does it matter? He's your ex. Block him, don't' take notice of him and focus on yourself and your life from now. ... (read in full...)
Stay with boyfriend or go to far away college--which do I do?
Q. Hello. I have big ambitions to become a vet and i have the qualifications to go to university and do what i want. I also have a boyfriend with whom i've been with since i was just 13. So we are extremely close. The problem is the uni i want to go to ...
A. 14 December 2009: It comes down to a choice, and one of you will be hurt. All I can do is say this. Your life's dream is to be a vet. Perhaps you should follow your dream. You don't want to look back in twenty years time and realize you sacrificed your dream and are ... (read in full...)
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