| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
|
Infatuated for over a year with him, he feels something too
Q. I'll keep this short. Basically, I am really infatuated with a guy i've known a little over a year. I told him in the early stage of our friendship (i.e. 1 month after we'd known each other) however, he made up some excuse to let me down gently. ...
A. 6 December 2009: I know how you feel. I've been there. When I was at school, I asked ten girls out, and they all said no. So I didn't ask out number 11. Turned out she really liked me. So when I finally met another woman I liked, I did ask her out and I'm still with ... (read in full...)
What should I do to have her when she won't break up with him?
Q. Ok we have known each other for almost 2 years but we are not that close to each other. She has a bf of 5 years but she wants to end the relationship. Her bf just wouldn't allow for a brake up. They broke and patch back many times. She started ...
A. 6 December 2009: I know you adore this girl, and you want to rescue her. But believe me, it all has to come from her. She has got to leave him, make it clear that she won't go back. If he continues, she must report him. There is nothing you can do, unless she does ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for thinking that something has changed or something else is going on?
Q. I've been in a long distance relationship for the past year. At the beginning, when we couldn't see each other, things were great...we constantly told each other how much we wanted each other and found other ways to be intimate. Over the past 6 ...
A. 6 December 2009: I think there are a few red flags here. Cheating so early into a relationship, warning you he may not be over his ex, telling you you're ridiculous because you don't feel wanted. These are danger signs that this man is using you as a rebound, or a ... (read in full...)
I think I'm going to end up hating my first love!
Q. I really love this guy. He was my first love. He was the first relationship I ever had and it bothers that he had about relationships before that he keeps bringing up. The two that come up the most are the ones that dumped him. One girl dumn him and ...
A. 6 December 2009: Thing will be better in the long run? You're deceiving yourself. How many people have thought that in the past an then been hurt? The figure runs into millions. Please face the fact that he is still fascinated by his ex's, and just isn't into you ... (read in full...)
I don't understand why the tables aren't turned, after all I've done for him he should be the one begging to be with me!
Q. I will give you some background information first: I've been with this guy for 6 years. We broke up last October due to his family problems and he freaked out and pushed me away. I am 21 and we started "dating" when I was 14--young I know, but our ...
A. 6 December 2009: Young lady. FORGET THIS GUY NOW! He doesn't love you. he doesn't care about you, he's just using you and he sounds like a total wreck. You cannot help him. You have tried, he hasn't responded. Your life will be dragged into the gutter because of him ... (read in full...)
I've played it cool, but I am not sure what to do next....
Q. I have been in a non committed relationship for nearly 7 years. We are long distance and meet up every now and then for a bit of fun and company. I know that he has slept with others and so have I during our off periods. He does his own thing, w...
A. 6 December 2009: Oh sweetie, he isn't ever going to commit to you, I hope you know that. I think as it is he's only interested in having you as another woman in his life. If he really loved you, he would have committed. I think if you're looking for more, you should ... (read in full...)
My wife told me she was a virgin, but she was no where near it.
Q. Hello, I have been reading this forum for a while now. My wife and I were High School Sweathearts. We courted for a couple of years, she became pregnant and we were married soon after our first child was born. I was in my third year of college ...
A. 6 December 2009: I think Sweet thing has it right. The fact she told you means she's not happy about her past. All right, she screwed up 14 years ago. She hasn't done it since, and she's tried really hard to be a good woman. Forgive, or you will lose her. I think ... (read in full...)
How can I get my wish to come true?
Q. I have a wish that reallllllly needs to come true. I try everything and wish every day. Does someone know anything to help my wish come true? Please help....
A. 6 December 2009: I have a wish too. I work at it. It's taken three years, but I'm about a step closer. The point is, whatever it is, work at it hard and it might well come true. Just don't expect miracles.... (read in full...)
Getting pregnant by a married man: How did things work out for you?
Q. There have been some questions for advice from women who were pregnant from married men. How did things work out for you?...
A. 6 December 2009: I know I'm a male, but a male's opinion might be useful here, because I think I know what the married man is going to do.
I think you need to sit down and look at your own life, because a married man rarely leaves his wife for another woman, and ... (read in full...)
Do you think I did the right thing letting him know that I recognize my mistake and giving him a timescale to come back?
Q. My boyfriend dumped me a few days ago because 'he didn't want the commitment of a girlfriend anymore'. Obviously I was devastated, but agreed with the break up and wished him the best, I didn't beg or plead. Just this morning, I e-mailed ...
A. 6 December 2009: Very much so. You've handled this in a mature manner, so well done. Make sure you stick to that timescale though.
You're a smart girl, and you've learnt in important point about relationships. People do need some time to themselves, so you will... (read in full...)
How do I resolve this major fight I had with my best friend?
Q. ok, long story (fight between friends, needs help straightening out) Well it all starts with a fan site for a band. Me and my friend are both members. What it is, is a chance for fans from all over the world to chat with each other. You can e...
A. 6 December 2009: You've learnt an important lesson here, and that it that social sites like Facebook are friendship and relationship killers. I think your friend meant it as a joke, and then went too far. Maybe she was just having a bad day. You'll find as you grow ... (read in full...)
Did he just want sex from me?
Q. he drove for an hour to see me.. we went for a ride on thursday night. i asked what he wants cos he started kissing me( cos i dont just want sex.. i want more than that) he said he doesn't know.. he wants to get to know me then decide. i haven...
A. 6 December 2009: Good girl. He was just after sex, and it could be that there is something else. Let him go, and find another guy.... (read in full...)
Do you think he is just using me for sex?
Q. Theres this gyy he says he really likes me, we've been to the cinema once, and he only really texts me when he wants to meet up with me, and all he really does is pick me up, have sex with me then drop me home again. When i ask him to meet up he ...
A. 6 December 2009: Yes,I'm afraid he is. You're not alone in the world though. Plenty of women are used by this kind of male. Dump him, cut all contact and find a man who will love you. There are far nicer guys out there.... (read in full...)
My close friend likes my teacher too, it makes me so jealous when she spends time with him!
Q. This is probably the most stupid jealousy question you've heard! But anyway, student-teacher-whatever-you-want-to-call them. I'm in one. One of my teachers is just the nicest guy etc. etc. We get on quite well, and we can have a laugh pretty eas...
A. 6 December 2009: So? The point is, he's a teacher so nothing can happen. All right, you have a crush, but let's face it, if she thinks that she's going to get anywhere, then she is a misguided girl. Just enjoy your crush, make sure you're meeting and seeing other ... (read in full...)
How do I get my fiance's ex-girlfriend to leave us alone?
Q. My fiance's exgirl friend wont leave him alone. Last night she texted him and asked him how big his dick is. She knows we are together and we are getting married,but she doesn't stop trying to get him back. I've tried talking to her calmly but it ...
A. 6 December 2009: You tell your boyfriend to change his number, cut all contact and forget her. Every time you get any message from her, don't reply, but keep it. Then, if she does't stop, take it all to the police and say she's stalking him.... (read in full...)
Don't know if I still want the relationship or love him much any more...
Q. Hello, I have been dating a man for about 9 months now and we have had a lot of problems since the beginning. We both have issues with drink and we have been agressive violent with each other on a few occasions when drunk. He has threatned me on a ...
A. 6 December 2009: You're right. You both need to be miles apart. Being with him is going to destroy you. You need to get rid of him and focus on your own life for now. Sort out your drink problem and let him go. To be honest, this sounds like it's just a nightmare. ... (read in full...)
How do I honestly Communicate to my boyfriend that he does not make me a high enough priority?
Q. HELP!!! How do I honestly communicate to my boyfriend that he does not make me a high enough priority? He really does adore me and always tries to do everything possible to make me happy. Lately he has been caught up with his new band. He loves mu...
A. 6 December 2009: Unfortunately when a man sets his sight on a goal, he tends to push everything else aside. I think you just need to be honest with him. Hints won't work with men, we don't see them. Tell him that you know he needs to put effort into his bad, and you ... (read in full...)
What should I do about by ex and my current boyfriend?
Q. please take the tme to help. Well my ex boyfriend posted this about me : 5 Months ago, I broke up with my girlfriend with whom I'd had sex with and with whom I'd been with for a year and a half. She was too jealous and too clingy, and as a...
A. 6 December 2009: Well, I think first of all, you need to end things with your boyfriend if you don't love him enough. It's unfair to be with him if you're only with him because you don't want to hurt him. So really look at whether you want to be with your boyfriend ... (read in full...)
How can I get a first date?
Q. im almost 14 and i have never been on a date with a guy. ever! i dont talk 2 many guys at school but i would like to. if i flirt with i guy i always want him to come over and make the first move, but they never do. how do i get talkin with boys...
A. 6 December 2009: You're not even 14 and you're worried about dates! I didn't have a real date or girlfriend until I was nearly 17. There's no rush young lady. Focus on finding out who you are, make a point of just speaking to other boys so you can understand them a ... (read in full...)
Should I recreate a scene from the "Twilight" book?
Q. When I was in the 6th grade, a school right next to mine was closed down, and some of the students there came to our school. One of these students was Lisa (fake-name). A friend of mine had a crush on Lisa's friend, so a group evolved. We saw each...
A. 6 December 2009: Though that would be very romantic, if she doesn't fancy you, you're going to be right in a mess. If you fancy her, you'd be much better off just asking her out an a date. If you try to kiss or or something like that, she might react very badly, and ... (read in full...)
What should I do to have her when she won't break up with him?
Q. Ok we have known each other for almost 2 years but we are not that close to each other. She has a bf of 5 years but she wants to end the relationship. Her bf just wouldn't allow for a brake up. They broke and patch back many times. She started ...
A. 6 December 2009: It's comes down to this. If she won't leave him, you can't have her. She has to leave him. If she doesn't, then you need to move on.... (read in full...)
Fallen for a gay guy?
Q. im so confused. ive fallen for a really nice guy the only problem is that hes gay what the hell do i do? ...
A. 6 December 2009: I'm afraid you've just got to work through it. He's not the guy for you, so make sure you're meeting other people and having fun for yourself, and you will meet Mr Right.... (read in full...)
We broke up due to cheating, but now she is cheating with me!
Q. 5 Months ago, I broke up with my girlfriend with whom I'd had sex with and with whom I'd been with for a year and a half. She was too jealous and too clingy, and as a result of this, she split up my whole group of friends, as they felt they couldn't ...
A. 6 December 2009: This is why you need to get away from her. She's playing you like a violin. You can do better.... (read in full...)
My girlfriends family keep trashing me
Q. ok down to the question like always im dating my 18 year old girlfriend i love her and all but her family is always getting in the way i mean her dad talks trash about me as well as her grandmother and grandfather... and it annoys me and just ...
A. 6 December 2009: Speak to your girlfriend about it. Her mother has no right to shout at you. (To be honest, I would have lost it, but it's better you didn't because of your girlfriend). Speak to your girlfriend about it, because she won't want to be in the middle of ... (read in full...)
I am tempted to give hubby for his b/day the same as he gave me
Q. Hubby ignored my birthday again this year. It was Thurs. It's almost like he does it deliberately. He knows I don't want expensive gifts, he just knows I want some recognition. Well, he didn't completely ignore my birthday, he did get me a box ...
A. 6 December 2009: I admire the fact you didn't say anything. Yes, give him the same treatment, and if he says anything, time to bring up the fact you're feeling unloved and you're being taken for granted.... (read in full...)
A pregnancy question
Q. I want to kno if you can get pregnant even though the penis is not all the way inside you but the head goes in but not far while you are on top and he has precum?...
A. 6 December 2009: Yes, you can.... (read in full...)
We have broken up but she doesn't want to stay connected with me
Q. hi, me and my gf who i really cared about broke up a couple months ago we dated for a year in were actually in love.things when bad like most tyoung relationships do(im 19, she is 17). Our relationship was still good though and im not getting over ...
A. 6 December 2009: Forget your ex. She's in the past, and it's better to let her go. You have a new girlfriend who has been there for you, and it will undermine her and hurt her to know that you're running after your ex. Don't make the mistake so many make, which is ... (read in full...)
My friend threw a tantrum and I am still reeling from it!
Q. Tonight I went out with my friends, "Jane" and "Mary." I live the farthest and was coming in to pick them up. Originally, I told Mary I would pick her up first and then we would get Jane. While driving, I realized I would be going back and forth, so ...
A. 6 December 2009: You're the driver. Don't take crap from passengers, because it can get you angry, and then you might be in an accident if you're thinking about what your passenger has said, and not focusing on the road. If they don't like how you drive, or your ... (read in full...)
I am stressing because I might be pregnant
Q. I was not supposed to start my period until December 2nd. I had unprotected sex on November 22nd and the very next day I started my period. It was a little different, (I dont really know, I rarely pay attention to it, I just know the dates) but Im ...
A. 6 December 2009: It could be that your ill or pregnant. But either way, best to visit the doctor, who can give you a test. ... (read in full...)
Discovered my husband strutting in my stilletoes on camera!
Q. while searching files on my husbands computer.I found a small pornographic video. This however is not particuarily out of the ordinary as we've filmed ourselves several times. I've not yet experienced any unusual sexualilty with him to this date. ...
A. 6 December 2009: Wow, that's something else. I think maybe this time you can afford to turn a blind eye. He was obviously experimenting around, and the car was his audience. As for the shoes maybe try introducing them into the bedroom. But don't get dragged into ... (read in full...)
I am dating the local newspaper!
Q. i've recently got my first ever girlfriend of my life and i am damn happy 'bout it. but the thing is, whatever we talk about, romantic or private, just ANYTHINNG.... she goes on and shares it with her roommates. its not that they spread gossi...
A. 6 December 2009: To be honest, I'd say something. You can't say it point blank, but you need to tell her that you don't like that fact she's talking about your private stuff behind you back because you're looking like an idiot. If she doesn't listen after that, then ... (read in full...)
I think my girl is going through a phase and I hope she gets over it soon!
Q. I know this is really long to read but it was the only way to get you to know what is exactly going on and exactly how I feel. Thank you so much for your time. I am 21 years old I have had many short term girlfriends and relationships with gir...
A. 6 December 2009: This is no phase, and you were very right to give her an ultimatum and do what you have done. She has been having sex with other men and having fun while leaving you as a comfort blanket for when it all goes wrong. I'm sorry, but the fact that when ... (read in full...)
Busy, or not interested?
Q. I can't tell if this guy is interested or not? He says he's busy (he's a dr). I met this guy through friends and we really hit it off when he joined a group of us on a night out. As soon as I got home that night my friends were all calling tell...
A. 5 December 2009: Why don't you ask him if he has any free days and if he'd like to meet up? You'll know from his reaction there whether he's interested. ... (read in full...)
I really want to go stay with him but he is being different with me and not replying to my messages!
Q. Why is he being off with me? Basically theres a guy i met on holiday, we speak everyday, we like each other. He lives 2 hours away, im going uni next year in the city he lives in. We've always spoke loads, saying how much we cant wait to ...
A. 5 December 2009: I'm really sorry, but the fact he isn't replying shows he's just not that interested. You've done enough chasing, now let hi him chase if he's interested.... (read in full...)
Drifting Apart
Q. i have been in a relationship for just over three months now, and it seems that in the last few days we are drifting apart... in the beggining of the relationship things started off quite quickly, and then immediately slowed almost to a halt. there ...
A. 5 December 2009: What you need to do is make sure you both have lives away from each other. If you're together 24/7, that's unhealthy and means you both need to look at yourselves and your lives. Then, when you come together, it can be more special, and you will ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure I feel the same way I once felt about him
Q. Okay, my boyfriend and i have been together for almost 8 months now. he's one of the few good guys left in the world. he's sweet, nice, and caring. but the only problem is he doesnt go to the same school i do and he doesnt live near me. ...
A. 5 December 2009: You answered your own question right there at the end. You can't see each other more than once a week, you don't live close and you can't really travel. Unfortunately, long distance relationships take a huge amount of effort and commitment. I know ... (read in full...)
I am unsure about how he feels towards me as he is nice to all girls!
Q. I think I like this guy but I am not sure if he likes me? We are going to a holiday trip with one couple and another girl who is single plus the me and the guy I like. And I am really very excited about it! However, I am unsure about how he feels ...
A. 5 December 2009: Men are really rubbish at seeing signs in women as to whether you like us! I think if you really like him, you can afford to take a chance and ask him out on a date. If you don't, you'll never know how he feels. ... (read in full...)
Did I ruin my chances?
Q. Okay, so it's kind of a long and confusing story, but I'll try my best to explain it. Last April, I started seeing a new guy that I really really liked. Throughout the ENTIRE time that we were together my ex boyfriend that I dated for two years was ...
A. 5 December 2009: I think it sounds like he does like you, but really doesn't want to get hurt again. I think you can afford to tell him you like him, because if you don't you'll never know how he feels, and it's far better to take a chance than not. Tell him how you ... (read in full...)
Infatuated for over a year with him, he feels something too
Q. I'll keep this short. Basically, I am really infatuated with a guy i've known a little over a year. I told him in the early stage of our friendship (i.e. 1 month after we'd known each other) however, he made up some excuse to let me down gently. ...
A. 5 December 2009: You two love sick puppies! Young lady, it's time to be brave. You have a choice. Say nothing, and never be with him or know whether it could have worked, or say something and take it further. It would be a shame if you didn't say anything, and he ... (read in full...)
Does he love her more than he loves me?
Q. me and my ex were still in love, but never had a releationship going after the other two didnt turn out. then him and this girl were married on facebook, and i asked him who she was and he said just a mate. and i kept asking, then finally he ...
A. 5 December 2009: I'm sure he did love you, but it wasn't enough to make it some sort of commitment permanently. To be honest, you both sound very young at the moment, and love can be a huge word. I don't think it's that he didn't love you, I just think he's still a ... (read in full...)
DOes my ex like me again?
Q. It's not that long, so help me out a little, please? :) Okay, so we went out for about 7 months and we were both each others very first love. Now he has a new girlfriend for about a month now, and I'm just single and having fun. (But I still lik...
A. 5 December 2009: He wouldn't try to get into a girl's pants, yet here he is with another girlfriend and he's touching you and teasing you. That's a bad sign, and proves that maybe he's not all as great as he seems. Being a male, I can tell you that any man can lie, ... (read in full...)
I've fallen in love with my science teacher!
Q. help! I have fallen in love with my science teacher! he's really hot and nice. I can't stop thinking about him. I've had this problem before and i told my friends, but one of them told her brothers friends on me, so I'm not trusting them again. I ...
A. 5 December 2009: Hi there. Just relax and enjoy the crush young lady. There's nothing wrong with a crush. I'm afraid it can't go any further than that, because it would be illegal and he's lose his job. Instead, focus on yourself, make sure you're keeping busy out ... (read in full...)
I want my ex b/f back!
Q. I am 15 17 years old and about 2 weeks ago me and my 18 year old boyfriend broke up because he told me that he was still in love with his ex girlfriend. When we were dating I asked him more then once "Are you still in love with your ex"? and he ...
A. 5 December 2009: Well, you now know more about your ex in a matter of days than you ever would have in a year. He lied to you repeatedly, used you as a rebound and left your hurt. He loves his ex, and has the nerve to treat you like rubbish. Forget about him, cut ... (read in full...)
| *aringGuy's friends
These are mutual friends, so *aringGuy has
added them and they have added *aringGuy!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
