| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
|
She wants to meet up with her ex, should I feel anything?
Q. I'm new to the site, I have a situation which is making me anxious. I met a girl in Feb of this year and we started dating. I was reluctant to at first as she was a lot younger than me, there's an age gap of 16 years, I'm 39. My friends convinced me ...
A. 9 January 2010: Keep going with the new women. Your ex had her chance and blew it. Get rid of her and get to know your old flame again.... (read in full...)
He says he isnt interested in me so how come he keeps hugging me
Q. OK so there is a guys that i just met at the beginning of the school year and i thought he was really weird but then after i broke up with my boyfriend of the time the guy started to get a little closer to me and i started to like him, after a while ...
A. 19 December 2009: Like all young men, he's confused about how he feels. The answer though, is not to try. He may just be getting a kick out of you fancying him. If he really likes you, he must now come to you8 and ask you out. You did all the running and he said no. ... (read in full...)
I don't know what to get my b/f for Christmas
Q. I am having trouble knowing what to get my boyfriend for Christmas. we have been dating for about 2 or 3 months now. I love him and he is very difficult. When i asked him what he wanted for Christmas he either said nothing or told me he wanted me. ...
A. 18 December 2009: He said what he wants. He wants you. So why not have a tasteful photo of yourself taken, have it framed and give it to him? ... (read in full...)
We broke up 3 months ago and he still isn't ready to be friends
Q. i broke up with my boyfriend 3 months ago--- why isnt he ready to be friends..? im reallly in love with him still. and im over the whole boyfriend-girlfriend thing but i really wana be friends with him and he wont let me in.. he says it hurts too ...
A. 18 December 2009: You have a lot to learn about relationships. When you're younger, being friends with an ex can work because you're not so emotionally involved. but as you get older, there is so much history that it becomes more difficult. He doesn't want t be ... (read in full...)
I want to bring up all these issues, but if I do he says I chose this life and should've had an abortion.
Q. This is my first time on the site and it is mostly because I don't want my friends to judge me. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and I feel that he is taking me for granted and does not love me. He has gone through some tough times with his ...
A. 18 December 2009: You don't want to be selfish!! Read what you've written! This guy doesn't care that you exist. He won't marry you, he said he did't have money, then it turned out he did. He doesn't give you presents, he looked at naked photos and asked to have sex ... (read in full...)
I thought everything was going well, until I heard them laughing about me...
Q. My best mate sleeps around and knows loads of guys, everyone wanting to be with her. She's overweight, spotty and generally greasy. She's taken guys off of me and every guy I've liked she's flirted with until they go to her instead. This seems to ...
A. 18 December 2009: Stop hating yourself and start loving yourself instead. Clearly this best friend of yours isn't a best friend at all. She wouldn't treat you so badly. Instead, it's time you focused on your own life. Start new hobbies, meet new people. You can do ... (read in full...)
Why is she holding back when I know she's attracted to me?
Q. I am certain she has feelings for me but I don't understand why she keeps them hidden. She's not in a relationship and she openly discusses her dating life with me but when I make a move she backs off? I have deliberately kept myself out of her '...
A. 18 December 2009: Perhaps she's been very hurt in the past, so maybe she wants to really take her time. Or maybe she isn't as interested as you'd like to think. Take more time over getting to know her.... (read in full...)
Is he considering getting back together out of love or pity?
Q. Okay so I posted a question two days ago, this is just a follow up and I need some advice. So anyways, my boyfriend broke up with me two days ago because he couldn’t take me yelling at him anymore and because of my rude behaviour. The next day, I t...
A. 18 December 2009: Well, he told your friend he still loved you, so from a male's perspective, I'd say that if you work very hard to prove you love him, and work hard to manage all the problems, things can be out back on track. Men don't generally bother unless they ... (read in full...)
Do men prefer fake over real breasts?
Q. Are fake breasts better than natural, small ones? I mean, I know this has been asked before. But it seems like they are. I've asked many guys and they say "Hey, if it improves her beauty, then it's all good!". And I read this article: http://...
A. 18 December 2009: Hell no! Well, at least a guy who accepts you for who you are does. A lot of men are exposed to a lot of porn, which makes their expectations somewhat different. Just get to know a guy first, and you'll be able to find yourself a great guy.... (read in full...)
Pregnant again and afraid of being abandoned with two children
Q. im 24 an have a 2year old son with an ex,who was very violent towards me,i now have a new bf who iv beeen with for nearly a year now,his really good with my son,an we get on really well,im now pregnant again,an we both want to keep the baby,but im ...
A. 18 December 2009: Your heart is telling you to keep the baby, and I think you're head is too. So yes, you are doing the right thing for you. You must trust your boyfriend. He's with you, he wants you to keep the baby so he's not looking to suddenly run away. Take ... (read in full...)
I just dumped my married b/f he says I am being childish!
Q. Good day all and may u all have a blessed xmas and prosperous new year :-) . Well i'm in need of TLC i just dumped my married boyfriend of 3 half years via sms .. thing is i went on his facebook and saw pics of his wedding day and of him and soon...
A. 18 December 2009: Well done. He was only using you, and is clearly a selfish, self absorbed pathetic man. Find a better guy. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is becoming abusive...please some constructive advice...?
Q. Hello! I came to tis website beause i really dont know what to do anymore. Im 18, my boyfriends 19.My boyfriend of a year and 3 months was such a great guy, he never cheated on me,never cheats, never flirts with other girls,he treats me like his...
A. 18 December 2009: This is classic controlling behaviour, and you honestly need to get away from him. The way you8 ask your question shows how little confidence you now have in yourself, you're so sure someone on here is going to be rude to you. Far from it. This guy ... (read in full...)
I am also worried about my sister's influence on me...
Q. I am 20 and have recently moved from the country to to work in town.I have accommodation at my place of employment. My older sister works in the same town and stays in a commune. She is going out with a guy from work and introduced my to...
A. 18 December 2009: All that matters it that you stick to you morals. You do not have to do anything you don't want to. You are right to be careful of STD's, so make sure you always have condoms, and it might be a good idea just to go on the pill in case anything does ... (read in full...)
My friend lied to me now I don't want to trust her again
Q. So I trusted my friend but she lied to me. I feel stupid because I can not believe I couldn't see through her. I believed everything she told me - yes everything. Now I feel upset, hurt and very angry. The lie was small but still hurtful. She kept ...
A. 18 December 2009: It depends what she lied about. Is there anything specific? And it also depends why she lied as well. ... (read in full...)
I feel hurt, trashed and betrayed, I need to move on!
Q. Hello. I am 34 years old. I have been in a relationship for about 11 years with a 46 years old man. Last May I found out that he was taking to this 28 years old girl, married. I spoke with him and he said he stopped. Last month I found out that not ...
A. 18 December 2009: You need to focus on your own life now. You know this guy is no good for you at all. He has cheated, lied, and cheated some more. You can do much better than him. Focus on your own life and what you want from him. Do something you've always wanted ... (read in full...)
Has she gone of me!
Q. (MOD NOTE: Title is Posters Original Title) hii, I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO!. i think my girlfriend has gone of me.... she never realy wants to kiss me if i go for a kiss all i get is a sourfaced peck, she never wants to have sex with me, but she...
A. 18 December 2009: Perhaps she thinks all you want is sex. She clearly wants your attention, otherwise she wouldn't be unhappy when you ignore her. A woman rarely says what is wrong. She likes to hope the man in her life will see something is wrong and understand ... (read in full...)
He says he has moved on, so why did he kiss me!
Q. hey me and my boyfriend split up because my dad found out that he was round when he wernt ment to be because my boyfriend is older then me im 15 and hes 17 and of cause my dad didnt really like it . And i went to see him and he kissed me then i...
A. 18 December 2009: You need to be sure whether or not you want to be with him, and whether you can stand up for yourself this time if your father finds out. Yes, there is an age difference, but you must be allowed to make your own mistakes (as long as they're not ... (read in full...)
He says he has moved on, so why did he kiss me!
Q. hey me and my boyfriend split up because my dad found out that he was round when he wernt ment to be because my boyfriend is older then me im 15 and hes 17 and of cause my dad didnt really like it . And i went to see him and he kissed me then i...
A. 18 December 2009: He was probably trying his luck to see if there was anything else between you. Maybe he still likes you but didn't want to say anything.... (read in full...)
My first time and I didnt enjoy the experience!
Q. My boyfriend fingered me for the first time but I wasn't really turned on and it wasn't sore but will he think I'm strange because I wasn't "wet". Does it bother gu when a girl is "dry". We had been kissing for a while but it wasn't until I was ...
A. 18 December 2009: It's not a case of whether it bothers a guy. A woman needs to be turned on for anything to really be effective. So make him work a little harder beforehand in the future.... (read in full...)
How do I get boys to like me in that way?
Q. I'm 14, nearly 15 and I've never even came close to having a boyfriend. Nearly all of my friends have had lots of boyfriends or at least their first kiss. Am I as behind as I feel? How do I get guys to like me in that way? I feel so slow in this ...
A. 17 December 2009: Slow down. There's nothing wrong with you. I didn't have my first kiss until I was 16. But at least I was with someone I really cared about. The point being, take your time and get to know yourself, and get to know guys. You'll find a guy you really ... (read in full...)
Would it be wrong to leave my husband in the state he's in now?
Q. I am a married woman of 11 years with 2 boys and i have been having problems with my marriage from day one. Things have been rocky because my husband has trust issues with me for something i did before we gotten married.... he said he forgave me but ...
A. 17 December 2009: No, I don't think so at all. I think we know where he stands. You did something wrong, and he has used it against you ever since. 11 years is a long time. I'm not saying you can get over being hurt. but I am saying when the words 'I forgive you' are ... (read in full...)
I'm a very sexual person and feeling deprived!
Q. I'm in my early 20s and my boyfriend of 3 years is in his mid 30s. We had a very healthy sex life up until about 6 months ago. He has started being somewhat distant when it comes to sex. I'm a very sexual person and I feel deprived. I've looked up ...
A. 17 December 2009: Is he stressed at work? Is he depressed and not saying anything? Is he ill? Rather then look at cheating, which will leave you both broken hearted, you really need to talk to him about it. Tell him you're worried he is becoming more and more ... (read in full...)
Lengths to go for happiness?
Q. I am currently living with my ex, we also have 4 children together. He has been abusive and has cheated on me in the past. It's difficult for me to forgive him, when I know he won't change. He has chosen that marriage is not for him, however I do ...
A. 17 December 2009: Well I am sorry about all this. First of all, I'll tell you about Phil. He is looking for sex (i.e. to use you) and nothing more. He isn't offering emotional support, and never will. In fact, it is rather cruel of him to offer anything, considering ... (read in full...)
The ex--best to build things up slowly?
Q. Hi, I split up with my long time BF a few months ago but we met up today and we arranged to meet up again next week but I feel as though it's very tenuous. Is it best to take it slowly and meet up once a week and rebuild a friendship/relationship ...
A. 17 December 2009: Very much so take it slowly. If he is an ex, then there were issues before, and there will be issues now. You need to resolve those issues slowly over time, and really get to know each other all over again. Yes, take it slow.... (read in full...)
Do I trust the ex? Or not?
Q. so me and my ex boyfriend dated for like 5 months are so but after we broke up we still been extremely close and he still likes me and im unsure about how i feel about him and then i learned recently that he was cheating on me with his best friends ...
A. 17 December 2009: Think about this carefully. He cheated on you, with his BEST FRIEND'S girlfriend. I would not trust him one little bit. He betrayed you and his best friend. Do not trust him, do not believe a word he says because he is a liar and a cheat. ... (read in full...)
What is the legal age to buy condoms?
Q. how old u have 2 be 2 buy condoms my friend said 16 i said any age whats right?...
A. 17 December 2009: In the UK, you can buy condoms at any age really. But the legal age to have sex is 16. So my advice to you is to find out how old you have to be in Canada to have sex. I would think it is 16. ... (read in full...)
I'm only 17 and I don't think I'm ready for this!
Q. okay i am really freeking out i think i might be pregnant i last had sex 2 months ago and i havent had my period since my boobs are really sore i keep feeling sick in the morning i know it sounds like yeah i am but i am really scared to take a test ...
A. 17 December 2009: You need a test. It sounds like you could be pregnant to be honest, and you need to take a test now so you have more time to plan everything. The best thing to do is go to your doctor. You live in Britain, so everything is confidential. They will ... (read in full...)
His temper is freaking me out more and more!
Q. My Common law husband and I are expecting a baby in June. Recently his temper has been freaking me out more and more, I guess because I'm pregnant and I'm afraid of my child experiencing it. He is especially insane when he drinks which is often, h...
A. 17 December 2009: His child is experiencing it, even now. A baby can feel its mother's stress, making it stressed. It's not your fault at all. If he can't deal with his own anger, then that's his problem, not yours. You're not screwed though. Because you can leave ... (read in full...)
B/f continues to text his ex!
Q. what should i do? my boyfriend continues to text his ex.. i have address this situations repeatly and he still continues to do it. he has changed her name to his sister's name in his cell phone to "throw" me off.. she asked in one of the text when ...
A. 17 December 2009: And his actions say all they need to. A man is measured not by what he says, but by what he does. Always remember that. This guy not only is in touch with his ex, but he's actually lied to you and changed her name on his phone. Stop addressing the ... (read in full...)
She wants to meet up with her ex, should I feel anything?
Q. I'm new to the site, I have a situation which is making me anxious. I met a girl in Feb of this year and we started dating. I was reluctant to at first as she was a lot younger than me, there's an age gap of 16 years, I'm 39. My friends convinced me ...
A. 17 December 2009: So what she is really saying is that she wants to see if there is something with her ex? Yes, be concerned, because what she is REALLY saying in that cryptic message is that she wants there to be something so she can go back. What if there is? Then ... (read in full...)
I'm not happy with my boyfriend and torn between two lovers
Q. i am so confused. i have a boyfriend who i am not happy with. he lies,has hardly any ambition even if he works hard,he has nothing organized. i am so fed up. he has past issues with his family,is terribly ignorant and is a bit suicidal,when things ...
A. 17 December 2009: You've found the best solution. To not see either of them You mustn't allow yourself to be emotionally blackmailed by your boyfriend or this other guy. First of all, ditch your boyfriend, who clearly is dragging you down and needs to focus on ... (read in full...)
His text/phone friendship with his ex torments me...
Q. Right so a girl my boyfriend had an on/off thing with before me, is back in contact with my bf, phone/text wise. My bf and I have discussed this and he said he just wants her friendship, nothing else. Now, this is fine, but obviously it's always on ...
A. 17 December 2009: Hm. Why does he want this friendship anyway. I agree with the post below. I think he's looking for more than he's saying. You don't need to accept it or be happy with it. If he was a good boyfriend, he would know that it would make you feel ... (read in full...)
My girfriend cheated on me and I have feelings of hatred, but still love her!
Q. my gf had oral sex with her friend in a cinema theatre and gave him a *******....she said it happened because she was too desperate and was out of her mind at that time...she feels terribly guilty now and regrets it and has cut all communication ...
A. 17 December 2009: I think she's a liar, and I think you can do better than this so called 'desperate girl' who treats you this way. You would do far better to forget about her and move on.... (read in full...)
Husband got laid off, became lazy, after 3 years of this, I want out!
Q. i realy dont know how to start i been married to my husband for 6 years we have 3 children together the frist 3 years he was working hard and i was stay home mam then he got layd off then since i had better experince at work i star going back to my ...
A. 17 December 2009: He's done nothing to fix this. I think he's suffering from depression to be honest. But since he hasn't tried to fix it, and he has treated you appallingly, I think you need to find a lawyer and start over. The last thing you need is your kids ... (read in full...)
I'm so broken, hurt, and confused!
Q. So me and my ex have been together for two years on and off were just friends nows but he acts like he wants to be with me the only promblem is that he got a 15year old girl pregant im 18 and he is 20. Its been so hard to deal with because he been ...
A. 17 December 2009: He's a liar, a cheat, and clearly into very young girls. You can do better. Focus on your own life and your own future now. You have more to live for than this guy and this failing relationship.... (read in full...)
I fight to get my anger out now he has walked away!
Q. Okay, so i just had a huge fight with my boyfriend, we are very very serious, we've already discussed marriage.The problem with me is that i fight to get my anger out. We have been fighting for over a week now, everyday. It is always my fault and i ...
A. 16 December 2009: Oh dear. I don't think it can be fixed now. If you were fighting that much, then there were serious problems. I think your boyfriend may have just seen that it was better to move on. If you do have a lot of anger, then for now, focus on your own ... (read in full...)
My unemployed b/f has anger issues, and I want to confront him about them
Q. My boyfriend doesn't work and has a bad temper; how do I confront him about this without him breaking up with me?...
A. 16 December 2009: I'd say confront him about it. If he breaks up with you, then he's not worth a moment of your time. A good boyfriend will listen, and will try to understand what you're saying. If he breaks up with you, then you can be sure you can do better.... (read in full...)
I am going travelling with a 2nd cousin and might fool around with them as well!
Q. I am a 19 year old girl who is on a gap year before university. I am going travelling for 7 months with my second cousin (we share great grandparents). In the past we have fooled around when drunk, just kisses and using hands, and there is sexual f...
A. 16 December 2009: Sex with benefits only ever really works when two people know it can go nowhere. That rarely happens, since often one person wants it to go further than the other. Someone might get hurt, you or him. If you want to do it, then do it. Just be aware ... (read in full...)
We were going great guns but now she has cooled off!
Q. Ok, i am 25 male and the girl i met this 20 yr old girl about a month ago rite before leaving school for the thanksgiving holidays. We share a muttual freind which is also a girl. the first time we met we talked at my apt for a couple hours and...
A. 16 December 2009: It sounds to me like she's more interested in leading her own party life right now. I think you need to speak to her and say that you really like her and would love to take things further, but you can see she is drifting away a bit and you need to ... (read in full...)
We spend way too much time together... I don't know if I love him any more.
Q. I'm 16. My boyfriend lives with my parents and I. Well they hate him and think I can do way way better, I'm so confused and don't know what to do. We spend way too much time together and I'm not so sure if I still love him. What do I do??...
A. 16 December 2009: If you don't think you love him, then maybe it's time to move on. You really need to think about your own future and what you want from your life. Maybe you need to spend some time focusing on yourself. ... (read in full...)
After a serious break up can a guy still be friends with his ex?
Q. After a serious break up can a guy still be friends with his ex? She pleaded and cried that I still be her friend. I said "no" and have maintained no contact thus far. she hasn't tried to call or anything. She hurt me pretty badly (refer to: ...
A. 16 December 2009: You're not weak. You made entirely the right decision. She hurt you, so it's not worth staying friends with her. She'll only hurt you again. And she's not even made any real effort either. Just focus on getting over her, and you'll meet someone far ... (read in full...)
Help!!! I love them BOTH!
Q. hi everyone i no its sounds stupid but i love 2 boys but i can never summon up the courage to ask either out but something that i have constantly do is listen to songs and think "god, i wish i could sing this to them" because they say all i want to ...
A. 16 December 2009: Relax. You're a young lady and you're growing up. However, there is only ever room in the heart for one, so the chances are you just really fancy both guys. So instead of worrying about them, focus on yourself for now. When you do meet the right ... (read in full...)
| *aringGuy's friends
These are mutual friends, so *aringGuy has
added them and they have added *aringGuy!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
