| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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I want to walk around in my underware
Q. I feel like taking off my clothes and leave my underwear and bra on only but afraid that my family will find out but I cant resist doing it because my kids would see it...
A. 7 January 2010: Just do it once in a while when everyone is out. Or do it in the bedroom and make sure your kids don't walk in. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend has made me feel like dirt
Q. I currently live with my ex bf we have in his eyes been broken up for about 5 months. He has for the most part treated me like crap but sometimes is nice and says he loves me other times he says I don't want to be with you I'm just tolerating you. ...
A. 7 January 2010: He doesn't love you. He's using you because you're allowing him to. A man who says he loves you but treats you like dirt doesn't love you. You need to move out and move on with your life. Don't wait for him to change. He won't. ... (read in full...)
How can I get my 7 year old to stay in bed and sleep???
Q. Hi i know this is a site about relationships, and this problem is about my relationship with my 7 year old daughter in a round about way. I'm at the end of my tether with her at bed time, for the first few years she went to bed with no trouble, but ...
A. 6 January 2010: I suspect the late nights at your ex partners house and such are the cause. A few women I know have said they're always bad cop because they set rules and no one else follows them. Have patience with her, because she probably doesn't understand why ... (read in full...)
Help!!! How can I find out if my ex still loves me...?
Q. HI everyone, My boyfriend and I broke up on Christmas day( i was super super sad since it happened on my fav day). After that, I tried to call him and showed him he's very important to that I couldn't live without him ....I knew I was stupid when ...
A. 6 January 2010: To call you stalker, he's telling you to move on. You can live without him, and you will. ... (read in full...)
Pains and aches when in a sexual mood for too long...
Q. Just a quick question. I've recently been getting pains and aches near my lower stomach and balls. It only happens when being with my girlfriend when we're kissing and touching but not actually having physical sex or oral. It seems to be something ...
A. 6 January 2010: Some men get this when they haven't had a sexual release after being turned on for some time. It's normal. If the pain persists though, it might be worth talking to a doctor.... (read in full...)
How can I get my 7 year old to stay in bed and sleep???
Q. Hi i know this is a site about relationships, and this problem is about my relationship with my 7 year old daughter in a round about way. I'm at the end of my tether with her at bed time, for the first few years she went to bed with no trouble, but ...
A. 6 January 2010: To be violent and such, something is really wrong. You need to sit down and talk to her gently about how school and life are going. Has anything changed in her life (divorce, new sibling), or are you a working mum, busy? I think you need to speak to ... (read in full...)
Should I text him first on Thursday???
Q. Hey me and my ex boyfriend have been over for about a month. We were realy good friends before we dated so when it was over we both wanted to be friends still. He broke up with me before but we got back together 2 weeks later. Now its over again. ...
A. 6 January 2010: If it did't work before, it might not work again. It sounds to me like he's keeping you on a leash just in case something else doesn't work out and he needs a comfort blanket. I think you should be looking to move on to be honest.... (read in full...)
Sex and my virginity...
Q. I need some advice here. I'm turning 16 in 2 months. I never had a boyfriend. I don't know how to kiss (i don't think any guy will want to go out with me when they see i don't know how to kiss) and I don't personally think I'm ugly, I am confi...
A. 6 January 2010: You're worrying far too much! You will have a boyfriend, kissing will come naturally to you once you get going, and no man will judge you for not having kissed anyone. And if you're not ready for sex, there's no rush. A man will marry you whether ... (read in full...)
How can I get him to see me as girlfriend material?
Q. Hey, you may be slightly bored of me now… I posted a while ago and didn't really get a lot of constructive advice... assuming, I like my friend, who is a diagnosed sociopath, and this really, really doesn't bother me, even though it probably ...
A. 6 January 2010: A diagnosed sociopath? Do you know what that means? Emotionally immature is one thing, but to actually be a diagnosed sociopath is entirely another. Even from what you're just saying about him I can see that he is subtly controlling you. The late ... (read in full...)
When I'm on top, do I sit up or lie down?
Q. Im going to my boyfriends tomorrow and sex is on the brain lol i was just wondering if anyone had any tips for me on how to be dominant of him i dont know how to have sex on top of him.. how do i move? do i sit up or lie on him? he likes it when i ...
A. 6 January 2010: Either do what you want (what are you most comfortable with?). Or even better (which he really might like), order him to do things to you.... (read in full...)
Did she love me or was she just using me?
Q. My girlfriend of 2.5 yrs split for 6 months last year. During that period she had a failed relationship with a new guy and got sacked from her job Then she contacted me again and said she wanted us to work. She moved overseas to be with me again...
A. 6 January 2010: I think she lost her job and her boyfriend and needed comfort, so came to you. At least your without her now. She seems a little preoccupied with her own feelings than those she uses. Move on.... (read in full...)
I don't want to wait around for my manager to have another meltdown. Work problems!
Q. I've been working at this job for only a few months, and yesterday we weren't really busy my manger told me to take a lunch break and then I could go home. So I went back to Check with him again to see if it was ok and he told me to talk to my other ...
A. 6 January 2010: Don't worry about it. All managers have meltdowns like this, and I'm afraid it's something working people have to put up with. I know this might sound stupid, but when you hear your boss yelling, try doing what I used to, which was to just daydream. ... (read in full...)
I don't want to be a stripper any more
Q. When I was 18, I went to jail for getting an ex beat up after he beat me up.. I put myself in a large debt with lawyers, fines, etc... I became a stripper and paid off my debts. After my parole ended I moved out to oklahoma to get away for while.. I ...
A. 6 January 2010: They convinced you to strip? How charming of them. If you don't want to strip, quit. Then say you've quit because you don't want to do it anymore, then say that you will get another job, but you need their understanding. If they don't listen, would ... (read in full...)
Will my wife cheat again?
Q. Will my wife cheat again? I'm in the army and was in Iraq, my wife told me she met a gay stripper. when i got back i found pics with other half torn out, stories not adding up, laptop shut when i walked in, her running for him all the time, ...
A. 6 January 2010: The truth is, this is something that was never really resolved in the first place. Did you ever find out why she cheated? Did you ever really talk about it? The truth is, I can't tell you whether she's cheating or not. All I can say is that if she ... (read in full...)
How can I be more confident?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up one week ago. I am a weak and unconfident girl; Since I wanted him back, so I was doing some stupid things like calling, texting, etc. And then he said I was a " stalker." When he said that, it hurts me so so much. I ...
A. 6 January 2010: Hi there,
First of all, you need to be more confident for yourself, not so you can show your ex that you're better off without him. If you're looking for him to suddenly change, or say sorry or regret leaving you, you're going to become even more... (read in full...)
What can we do instead of oral?
Q. i'm currently in a relationship but neither of us are into oral. so i was wondering what other stuff could we do instead?...
A. 6 January 2010: At 13-15, just kiss and hug and get to know each other more. There's plenty of time for everything else when you're both legal!... (read in full...)
What do women mean when they say they only want to be friends cause they are not ready for a relationship?
Q. I've recently started talking to someone, she knows i have strong feelings for her, but she just had her heart broke by a guy and says shes not ready just yet and this is an email she sent to my ex gf who both get on well and are actually talking ...
A. 6 January 2010: It's a polite, gentle way of letting you down. This isn't going anywhere, so you need to move on. ... (read in full...)
Why can I only get turned on by my girlfriend? Porn does nothing for me and I'm starting to worry!
Q. Ok this may not seem urgent or even useful but at the moment I am in a very strange predicament, not serious or bad in anyway I do not think but never the less it is quite how should I put, well bugger it it is pure strangeness for me. My girlfriend ...
A. 6 January 2010: Porn isn't for you, but your girlfriend is. Sounds like you're a pretty decent guy. Don't worry about it at all. ... (read in full...)
Why would guys behave like that?
Q. Ok, to keep a long story short, i’m from a small college and this guy and I are from the same faculty, though different majors. He’s supposedly from popular clubs in school and has a healthy social life from what i see on facebook - clubbing, ...
A. 6 January 2010: He might be shy. Even the most confident guys can be shy when they fancy a girl. I'd suggest you get talking to him. You don't know where it might lead. ... (read in full...)
We made out and now 2 weeks later I haven't heard from him
Q. Well i have been getting to know this boy for a really long time , we have been texting but he will never talk to me at school this boyy is so funny but hes one of the popular boys and he sometimes takes the p*** out of me . Anyway he texted me one ...
A. 6 January 2010: Sorry young lady, he used you. Don't feel bad though, because you've learnt something important. A man has to earn a kiss beforehand. Next time you meet a guy you like, make him work a bit and get to know him. ... (read in full...)
How to confront him... what to say
Q. There is this guy that I work with. We had been flirting like crazy and texting too. I found out he had a girlfriend so I backed down. We both agreed we would just be friends. Then about a week ago he invited me out for coffee. The night seemed to ...
A. 6 January 2010: You're going to wind up really hurt very shortly if you confront him. His not calling shows that he knows he's made a big mistake and doesn't want it to go any further. Take the hint and back off. I know you don't want to be just screwed and then ... (read in full...)
Why do the guys always go for my friends?
Q. why them and not me why is it my friends mainly 2 friends i will call sally and amanda get all the men its always the same at clubs and when amanda and me went sppeed dating she got 4 ticks i got none they are slim i am average but not uglier t...
A. 6 January 2010: Guys can see that it's affecting you this way, and they're probably nervous about it. You're not ugly or anything like that, but your lack of confidence comes across, and men can see that. Work on your confidence, be a little more relaxed about ... (read in full...)
She cheated on me when I relocated.
Q. I meet this wonderful woman when I was eighteen right out of high school. I knew that she was the one that I wanted to marry. She is my all and everything. We have a wonderful relationship. We were open about our past. I told her everything about ...
A. 6 January 2010: I'm guessing she was young and was lonely while you went away travelling. A stupid mistake. According to your post you're now in your forties, with three kids. It would be a shame to call it a day now after so long. I know this has come as a massive ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend keeps breaking up with me so she can go out with other men, what should I do?
Q. hello everyone, so my girlfriend cheated one me broke up with me saying it was my fault, then when i found out it was cause she was cheating on me i forgave her and we got back together. then she started a fight so she could go on a date with ...
A. 6 January 2010: Tell her to f**k off. What a cow. She's using you as the comfort blanket and nothing else. There are far better girls out there than this. Find a nice one instead. ... (read in full...)
Cheating on me and lying about it?
Q. My boyfriend and i been together for 5 months. well we always argue and we make it up;; but lately i heard he was going with this one girl;and matter of fact she was the one who told me they were together,but i thought she was lying cause i was with...
A. 6 January 2010: This guy is a player. The best way to move on is to dump him and stop contact. Then focus on your own life and what you want from it. There are better guys than this out there, and you'll find one. But this guy is not for you, so get rid of him.... (read in full...)
My penis was wet after having sex with her without a condom, will she get pregnant?
Q. hi...i am 16 and my girlfriend has juz turned 18 last month.... today when i was at home with her fooling around.....i put my penis ingide her vegina juz 4 times without a condom....well i wasnt cuming when i had sex with her but my penis was ...
A. 6 January 2010: She might do. There is always a chance a woman will get pregnant if you have unprotected sex. ... (read in full...)
Why after an orgasm do men leave women hanging?
Q. Hi. Ok I have a question I no a lot of women would liked answered. Why is when a guy has a orgasm first its over they get up and go on with there day. They just leave the girl hangen they don't even try to finish what they started. Guys what if your ...
A. 6 January 2010: Not all of us do! :). But when a man has an orgasm it releases a hormone that can make us tired if we don't continue to be active. Make him work harder!... (read in full...)
Wait to have sex until I'm married or listen to my friends?
Q. I want to wait till I'm married to have sex because I want to lose my virginity to someone I love. I told my boyfriend we could make out just no sex, and he said he understood and is perfectly fine with it. My friends said its not good to wait till ...
A. 6 January 2010: Listen to yourself. If you want to wait until you're married, then you do just that. Do what you want, not what someone else wants.... (read in full...)
My husband has been watching real life couples having sex on a porn site whilst he is working away, is this normal?
Q. been married just less than a year and found out that my husband who works away has been viewing real life couples having sex on a porn sight. i am shocked and wonder if anybody thinks that this is what men do when working away and is it normal?...
A. 6 January 2010: It's a visual aid to help stimulate him because you're not there with him. And yes, it's pretty normal. ... (read in full...)
He has Erectile Dysfunction and I am not sure if this is something I can cope with long term
Q. I'm 43, divorced and I've been on the dating scene for 6 years. I started dating this guy a couple of months ago. For the first time since i've been single again, I feel like I found a true match and things were going great. But we are having a ...
A. 6 January 2010: Most erectile dysfunction is only a temporary glitch that's caused by anxiety. Sometimes it can be something worse, but since he's healthy, you'll find it's to do with the split and he's worried about getting close. I think if you stick around for ... (read in full...)
What would you do if your friend's boyfriend is in love with you, and you have feelings for him too?
Q. What would you do if ur friends guy is in love with you and u have feelings for him also,before they meet.and now he is back for you,but you dont want to hurt your friend? ...
A. 6 January 2010: You have to decide whether your friend's happiness is worth losing this guy for. Bearing in mind that there are other guys, but possibly not other good friends.... (read in full...)
Help me please! How can I get my boyfriend to trust me and believe in me?
Q. i have a serious problem that i so desperately need help with .... I have been with this guy for 9 months now and at the time we were just seeing each other i was still talking and see my ex boyfriend and well i was very confused on what to do cause ...
A. 6 January 2010: Girl!! Neither him or your ex are right for you. You couldn't really leave the ex in the past, and went back to him, and you can't leave this other guy who has insecurity issues. You have to stop seeing both men and focus on your own life. You will ... (read in full...)
Is there a way to separate from my second wife without having to sell my house?
Q. dear cupid, I sadly lost my first wife 16 years ago age 58, I also lost her sister age 56 who was a widow, life can be a pig, I met a lady 9 years younger than myself who I regrettably married 12 years ago, the marriage has never been consummated ...
A. 6 January 2010: It's unlikely. You've been married for some time, so she might be entitled to something. The best thing to do is speak to a solicitor. ... (read in full...)
She has a boyfriend yet seems to flirt with me all the time! What's going on with this girl?
Q. hello. im in quite a dilemma here. I love this girl that has a boyfriend. she's my coworker and is the same age. she has had a boyfriend since highschool. we are really good friends and she is really close with me. a couple weeks ago she was texting ...
A. 6 January 2010: She's playing with you a bit to be honest. She knows you like her and is keeping you around because you make fer feel better. But the fact is unless she leaves her boyfriend, this can't continue. I think you would do better to move on.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend completely shuts down whenever something upsets him, how can I get him to let me in?
Q. My boyfriend and I have known each other for a year now and officially dating 2 months . I find that when he is in a bad mood or someone or something upsets him he shuts down completely. I have on numerous occasions tried to make a break through and ...
A. 6 January 2010: Give him time. Men don't respond too well to be pressurized to open up. Just tell him you're there for him if he needs to talk, then have patience.... (read in full...)
How can I prove to my girlfriend I don't watch porn and I have no interest in ever watching it?
Q. How do I prove to my girlfriend that I'm not watching porn? She worries that she's not enough for me, we've been together for nearly 2 years and I want to be with her forever, but can't move forward until I feel like she's ready to be with me. P...
A. 6 January 2010: You need to ask her why she's so insecure about it and doesn't trust you, even though you have tried to reassure her. Get her to open up about why she really feels the way she does.... (read in full...)
He's 2 years older than me and wants to have sex with me, what should I do?
Q. what do i do ??? i was out at this club this lad came over two me and asked me to get with him so i did then he took he to this sofa i sat on his knee and he went to finger me i didnt want him 2 do but i let him he asked for my number so i did ...
A. 6 January 2010: He wants to have sex with you and knows you're under-age. That's against the law. Stay away from him.... (read in full...)
Should I give him some more time or just give up completely?
Q. hey guys help please..my guy friend told me he wanted to be more than friends with me but he was wary as well having been in a relationship in the past that hurt him..he told me he felt comfortable around me i was really pleased as i also wanted ...
A. 6 January 2010: I agree with Gina. To not see you over the Xmas period was a bad sign. I think you should wait until he says anything, but certainly dont' wait around... (read in full...)
I just want to get away from everything...
Q. I don't really know where to start. I just feel really down. Basically, over the last few weeks the health of my grandparents has massively deteriorated putting strain on my family. They're all dependant on us. At the moment one set is in hospital...
A. 5 January 2010: Please speak to your parents. They will really want to know how you feel. You're coming up to a big moment in your life, and you need to open up about how you feel to your parents and maybe your closest friends. Talking will help. You will be able ... (read in full...)
Should I still play hard to get?
Q. Hi I would like to have answers from guys! We saw each other 3 times as we are both very busy but also because I went for Xmas break for 2 weeks. He seems to be a nice guy and interested. he texts me every other day. We met on online dating. T...
A. 5 January 2010: If he's known you for a month and hasn't stopped online dating, then as of yet you're not close enough to him. So although it's good to make sure he does a bit of running, don't play too hard or he'll think you're not interested. He needs to know ... (read in full...)
Any first date tips?
Q. ok people i need helppp!! i am going on a first date with a guy i've liked for sooooo long, and i am sooooooooooo nervous!! i'm just out a 5 year relationship, we never really done the whole dating thing, anyway what do i say, what do i wear? what ...
A. 5 January 2010: Wear what you feel like wearing, and just be yourself. Certainly don't drink too much (only a couple of glasses). Don't talk about past sex lives, ex boyfriends and such. Ask him about career/hobbies etc. And relax! Don't try to be something you're ... (read in full...)
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