| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
|
Should I seek help for my eating disorder or seek help from my boyfriend?
Q. I have an eating disorder I thought was very controlled but due to lots of things happening in my life right now it's getting bad again. My Boyfriend lives two hours away and he can tell something is wrong, but he already thinks I'm depressed and ...
A. 8 January 2010: Hi there,
Any eating disorder is worth seeking help for, since they can cause serious long term damage. I think you should certainly see a doctor. Whether you tell your boyfriend or not is up to you. He knows something is wrong though, and has aske... (read in full...)
He stood me up to be there for his ex. Should I give up on him?
Q. I met this guy at a get together I was at with some of my friends. We ended up talking for the whole time and by the end of the night we had exchanged numbers and were planning to talk/hang out sometime. He asked me to be friends on facebook and it ...
A. 8 January 2010: Hell yes leave him. He actually stood YOU up for his EX. That just says it all. She was just play acting to get his attention, and he gave in. Leave him to his ex. ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want a serious relationship but should I still see him?
Q. So I started dating a guy a few months before going away to college and we never really broke up. We both just left and assumed the relationship was over i guess. I know he's seen other girls and I have seen other guys while in college but when we ...
A. 8 January 2010: Really think about what you want. At the moment, you're second best for when he comes back and nothing else.Do you always want to be second best to this guy, or would you rather be really important to another guy? Don't allow yourself to be used. ... (read in full...)
Help! What is going on in her head? Does she want me back or not?
Q. Evening all I recently found out my Fiancee (together nearly 4 years) was cheating on me. I think it's still going on as well. I went ape, but I only shouted and stuff. She denies it all and says they're just friends. I have copies of emails...
A. 7 January 2010: A few years ago, I had a girlfriend who cheated on me on my birthday with her ex. I am younger than you (22, you're in your 30's), so I know compared to you my thing wasn't as serious. But she then went on to say that we could be friends, and it ... (read in full...)
I can't stop thinking or dwelling on the fact that she has been intimate with other men.
Q. Hi there. I could really use some help. I am currently engaged. I love my fiance. She is the best woman I could ever ask for. Here is my problem. I can't stop thinking or dwelling on the fact that she has been intimate with other men. Particu...
A. 7 January 2010: This is about your insecurity. She's with you, she loves you, she's told you you're the best and you're even getting married. I'll give you the reassurance you need now. She loves you and that's it. If she loved him, she'd be with him. Everyone ... (read in full...)
Husbands holidays away are causing problems...
Q. I have been married for 26 years and for the last 3 years my husband and I have been going through a rocky patch. We have always spent our holidays together, and despite not getting on quite as well have still really enjoyed time away together. ...
A. 7 January 2010: He knows something is wrong, but like most men is running away and hoping it will all magically get better. You know it won't. However, forget the breaks for the moment (yes they hurt), and work out what you can do as a couple when he gets back so ... (read in full...)
Why can't my husband ejaculate after having sex with me?
Q. I was wondering why does my husband still masturbate if he has a wife to please him? I continue to catch him masturbating and that really hurts me and makes me feel like I'm not doing my job at home when I do every sexual favor he wants but even ...
A. 7 January 2010: First of all, this is him, not you. The more you blame yourself, or the more you get at him because he has to 'finish himself off', the worse this will get. He told you the problem. He's so used to masturbating, he can't do it at other times. So you ... (read in full...)
Help! What is going on in her head? Does she want me back or not?
Q. Evening all I recently found out my Fiancee (together nearly 4 years) was cheating on me. I think it's still going on as well. I went ape, but I only shouted and stuff. She denies it all and says they're just friends. I have copies of emails...
A. 7 January 2010: You might think you can live with it. The problem is how long until she does it again? This is a woman who has actually said to you that she will remain friends with him. Seriously think about this. ... (read in full...)
Sign over your rights!
Q. I am 4 weeks pregnant. I discoved this on New Years Eve. When I told my then boyfriend he was very excited. I havent heard from him in 4 days. He wont answer my calls, he took me off his FB (how childish is that?). I texed him and asked him to just ...
A. 7 January 2010: He's panicked and doesn't' know what to do. Clearly he's not a good boyfriend, but as the post below says, give him a little time to come around, and he might make a good Dad. ... (read in full...)
How can I find someone similar in nature to her?
Q. Hi, I had a 3 month relationship with someone recently which I knew wasn't going to be long-term as she is going to live in australia in a few months. She didn't want anything serious and she stopped the relationship. I was still very down as we got ...
A. 7 January 2010: You won't find one like her. She's one and only. Every woman is different, and you need to be aware of that. If you're looking for someone like her, you won't find her because she doesn't exist. You need to be totally over this other woman first. ... (read in full...)
How do I end this relationship with sensitivity?
Q. How do I end my relationship with my boyfriend who is so kind, considerate and loves me to bits, when I just dont love him any more and can't see a future with him? I hate the feeling like I am lying to him whenever we are together!...
A. 7 January 2010: You can't end it easily. You just have to sit him down, look him in the eye and tell him it's not working out and that it's over. Clearly say it softly, but don't tip toe around the issue. All the best.... (read in full...)
Been dumped by my first boyfriend and my best friend in 2 days. HELP!
Q. Hi. I'll try and keep this as simple as I can. I am 16 years old and recently was dumped by my boyfriend of 9 months 3 days ago. He said he felt that our relationship had "run it's course". He hurt me a lot, but we eventually decided to just be good ...
A. 7 January 2010: He's a liar, and your friend is a liar. The truth is they both fancy each other. You don't need either of these people in your life. Forget them both, they are both worthless to you. What boyfriend does this? What friend does this? Neither. It won't ... (read in full...)
Help! What is going on in her head? Does she want me back or not?
Q. Evening all I recently found out my Fiancee (together nearly 4 years) was cheating on me. I think it's still going on as well. I went ape, but I only shouted and stuff. She denies it all and says they're just friends. I have copies of emails...
A. 7 January 2010: Working away in a hotel? Just friends? Even took your key? She's having an affair all right. She's keeping you around as a lap dog in case it all goes wrong. The fact is you have the proof, she has lied to you and she is saying they will still stay ... (read in full...)
Heeelp!!! I can't get him out of my head. Any tips?
Q. I can't get him out of my head. Any tips? I know he is not right for me, but I miss him tremendously. We were good friends who then had sex a few times -- I am married but that is complicated and he understood the situation - but now he won't ...
A. 7 January 2010: The explanation is this. He liked you, and saw that you were open to having an affair. But he then realized that you were married and that it was important for you to sort that out first. It's more than likely he told his brother what had happened ... (read in full...)
Does my fiancee have a say about my decision to send my children on a summer trip?
Q. I am a 50 year old WIDOWER with two children - an 18 year old and a 16 year old. I just engaged my girlfriend who is 44 and has an 18 year old. We live in our house - they live in theirs. We plan to marry late 2010, after her 18 year old goes off ...
A. 7 January 2010: I think more than anything, it's not the she couldn't make the decision, it's that she feels a little left out, that's all. You are getting married, so communication is very important. I think it's just a case that she would like to be more involved ... (read in full...)
My girl said she hates me... but does she mean it?
Q. I'm currently going through a break up with my girl. She ended it and said some things to me that didnt make sense. i tried reasoning and asked for the truth with no reply. i love her so much and after 6 days of no contact i seen her. She's changed ...
A. 7 January 2010: She's really angry for you for a reason. Maybe try saying sorry and talking to her.... (read in full...)
Fear of being alone...
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for over a year and i'm only 17, starting university in september. Everything is going great for me but for about two months now i've not been attracted to him or feel like i love him any more. I've told him ...
A. 7 January 2010: It's time for you to move on from him. It would be wrong and cruel just to keep him there because you feel alone, not because you love him. You're about to start university, and that is your time to start again. Let him move him, and you move on ... (read in full...)
Things going wrong since we had sex
Q. I had sex with my boyfriend spontaneously and unplanned for the first time. We were both virgins and i mean it was bad sex because it hurt and nothing really happened... we both weren't ready and i think we both regret it... but ever since then.... ...
A. 7 January 2010: It's because you're not talking about it to each other. You think you weren't ready, and you think that you regret it. You need to open up and tell him that it was something that happened, and that perhaps it was unplanned it. Don't tell him you ... (read in full...)
My dad is making my life a misery...
Q. hey, im 9 months pregnant and live with my partner. all my life my dad has put me down and made me feel bad about my self, he wanted me to be this perfect little princess. when i started to become my own self he would have ago at me. he would have ...
A. 7 January 2010: Not every man acts this way at all. Most Dads clearly worry, but they certainly don't over control like this. You now have a choice. You can either put up with it, or you can just tell him where to go. Your number one priority is your unborn child, ... (read in full...)
I need to get out and grow up... help!
Q. Hi there. I'm an 18 year old girl, but feel like a bit of a child. My friend and I still play with barbie toys. Do you think this is really bad? If so, what could we do instead. Also, I've never had a boyfriend or a first kiss. I feel like ive mi...
A. 7 January 2010: To be honest, it's sweet that you and your friend haven't grown up completely yet. There are a lot of girls who grow up far too quickly now and really regret it later. If you're both 18, just start going out sometimes together. That way you're at ... (read in full...)
I don't know who to believe, my girlfriend or my friend.
Q. ok so last night my girlfriend's friend told me that my girlfriend has been cheating on me like a while ago during 4 months of our relationship, got fingered and fooled around with guys so i confronted her about it and we had along talk to just find ...
A. 7 January 2010: The thing is, you already know for a fact that your girlfriend has kissed another guy. She sat on the bed and he wanted a hug and nothing happens just sounds very suspicious. She cheated once by all accounts, and I think it's more likely she has ... (read in full...)
Woes with men...
Q. It is a very unfortunate situation so I could use some help. I am 5'9", considerably humourous, intelligent, and a supposedly extremely attractive female, to which I have been offered a modeling contract with a popular clothing chain. Now I have a...
A. 7 January 2010: First up, your ex isn't the guy for you, and you really need to end contact with him. You don't love him, you're just upset that he's now moved on and you haven't found anyone else yet. Forget him. He's your ex because you know he's not the one.
G... (read in full...)
Scared of commitment or just being used?
Q. I've been sleeping with the same guy for 2 years and have fallen in love with him. But he won't commit to a relationship. I'm not sure if it's because I have a child or that he's just not ready. Do I give up and move on? or keep holding on hoping ...
A. 7 January 2010: After two years of nothing but sex, you can be sure he's using you and completely uninterested in taking it further. Move on. ... (read in full...)
How can I help my friend feel better...?
Q. I have this friend that I'm really worried about. She has really deep feelings for this guy. She kinda had a thing for him for a while but since about June she's had really deep feelings for this guy. but he's now got a girlfriend and they both se...
A. 7 January 2010: Invite her out and just get her talking. If she's shutting herself away this more, chances are she's depressed. She can't have him, but she can't hear that because she loves him so much. So all you can do is listen. Don't offer advice, just listen ... (read in full...)
How can I help him try to get a better job?
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for a few months but have known each other for years, he works a job making pay that isnt that great and his hours have been cut... he's been looking for another job but "says there's nothing he likes" i pay for ...
A. 7 January 2010: Don't make the mistake of trying to change who he is. You need to understand that a man's job truly is his identity. The last thing you want is to force him into a job where he feels uncomfortable, ends up depressed, then wants to leave you or even ... (read in full...)
My husband's closeness with this other woman is now affecting our marriage! Please help.
Q. I recently posted a question on here regarding my fiance's 'friendship' with another woman. I got married last month and was told prior to the wedding that he had dicussed how I felt about the closeness of his relationship with the other woman with ...
A. 7 January 2010: I agree with Emilyanswers. He's made it clear you're second best. Get an annulment before it gets worse. ... (read in full...)
Is there any truth in the saying that to get a man to want you, to have to stop chasing him?
Q. Hi Aunts and uncles, I just wondered if there is any truth in the saying that to get a man to want you, to have to stop chasing him. I have been with this man now for number of years and every time he goes quiet I chase him and chase him, which...
A. 7 January 2010: Yes, sometimes. But not always. He might suddenly realize that he adores you, or he might not even notice. The only way to find out is to pull back and see what happens. If he loves you, he'll suddenly make an effort.... (read in full...)
Should I send her a letter trying to explain?
Q. I'm reposting since i didn't get any good advice! About two weeks ago i broke up with my girlfriend over some pretty hurtful things I saw on her phone (yes I looked through her phone). The month before she had told me she didn't know if she want...
A. 7 January 2010: Let her go, and don't contact her. It's over and writing a letter will achieve nothing.... (read in full...)
He was seeing someone else when we started dating, I don't know what to think now! Advice please?
Q. Does it matter if my fiance was seeing some one when we first started? Until we really got serious maybe several months into the relationship. Now he says there is no one and we are getting married. Should this be alarming. They shared a phone ...
A. 7 January 2010: I would slow down. If you had to ask him to get rid of a phone, then he hadn't really severed the connection between him and her. Slow down, watch him and see how he acts and make a decision when you know more about what has been going on.... (read in full...)
He's dating me, but he's engaged, what would you do?
Q. hey, im a 16 year old girl really need some advice... i recently got a job on weekends and at my interview met a boy who is now 21. ive been working for 2 months now and weve become better friends over this time, he was always helping me out an...
A. 7 January 2010: He may not have lied, but trust me he's one to avoid. Well and truly stay away from him. ... (read in full...)
Should I deal with my abusive stepdad or leave home?
Q. Last night, while I was sitting on the couch with my mom and step dad, my step dad and i started arguing mildly. He started to raise his voice, and I asked him to stop, but he didn't, and kept raising his voice even more. He was really getting on my ...
A. 7 January 2010: You could drag him to the police for assault. Why not get him back that way? He shouldn't be hitting you at all, since he's not even your father. He's just an abusive man. ... (read in full...)
Worried about nipple size
Q. This is probably a self-esteem question. I've been seeing this guy for a while, and I want to take it to the next level. Not sex yet, but other things. I have a problem with my body though and I'm scared he won't find me attractive after. My chest ...
A. 7 January 2010: He'll adore you. Just relax. ... (read in full...)
He kissed a girl and got a bj from her
Q. so i have been dating this guy for 6months now..well distance is a problem.but we do our best.we talk evryday and try to make things work..but he told me that he kissed a girl and let her give him a BJ..i appreciate hes honesty but it hurt.what do i ...
A. 7 January 2010: I take it this happened while you were together, so I 'll answer for that. It's a long distance relationship, and LDR's require a huge amount of commitment to make them work. If one person isn't committed, it won't work. He has cheated on you. The ... (read in full...)
Why are jealous men viewed as being unhealthy?
Q. Why do many women beleive that men being jealous or protective is unhealthy? Why do many women seem to take sides with a woman even if she is a bitch or has wronged a man? It is realy starting to piss me off that men are veiwed as assholes all the ...
A. 7 January 2010: A small amount of jealousy, and a small amount of protectiveness can suddenly turn into aggression, terror and the ultimate nightmare. And it works both ways. Women can be just as bad. I had a jealous girlfriend, and would you believe it she went ... (read in full...)
How can I trust her after her fling?
Q. My girlfriend of three months, whom I've known for six years, chose to have a two day fling with her ex while he was in town. We have talked about what happened and I don't feel I got a strait answer of why this occurred. She has told me they are ...
A. 7 January 2010: Seriously, three months into it and she's already had a fling with her ex. That says it all. You can do better. ... (read in full...)
Should I wear my heart on my sleeve and see what happens?
Q. ok so here is the deal. I wrote previously about some other guy. We ended up breking up becuase he became distant after finding out i didnt want to believe the doctors about me having a misscarriage and i have been fine until now. I turned 21 on...
A. 7 January 2010: You're right to take this slow. So far there's been a lot of lust, but not anything about future and love. You need to slow down a bit and really get to know him before anything else. He might be good looking and great in bed, but you mention the ... (read in full...)
Should I wear my heart on my sleeve and see what happens?
Q. ok so here is the deal. I wrote previously about some other guy. We ended up breking up becuase he became distant after finding out i didnt want to believe the doctors about me having a misscarriage and i have been fine until now. I turned 21 on...
A. 7 January 2010: You're right to take this slow. So far there's been a lot of lust, but not anything about future and love. You need to slow down a bit and really get to know him before anything else. He might be good looking and great in bed, but you mention the ... (read in full...)
Should I wear my heart on my sleeve and see what happens?
Q. ok so here is the deal. I wrote previously about some other guy. We ended up breking up becuase he became distant after finding out i didnt want to believe the doctors about me having a misscarriage and i have been fine until now. I turned 21 on...
A. 7 January 2010: You're right to take this slow. So far there's been a lot of lust, but not anything about future and love. You need to slow down a bit and really get to know him before anything else. He might be good looking and great in bed, but you mention the ... (read in full...)
Ex is not interested and it hurts
Q. Dear Cupid...so far you are the only person i talk to and who has been kind enough to help.Thank you. Nway with the newyear,i had to make resolutions, that can help me be a better person. So among other stuff, i decided to get into a relationship ...
A. 7 January 2010: Why go back to an ex? An ex is an ex for a reason.You made a new years resolution to make yourself feel better. So since it's a new year, get to know new men. Don't make the mistake of going back. You now know your ex isn't interested, so make ... (read in full...)
Ex is not interested and it hurts
Q. Dear Cupid...so far you are the only person i talk to and who has been kind enough to help.Thank you. Nway with the newyear,i had to make resolutions, that can help me be a better person. So among other stuff, i decided to get into a relationship ...
A. 7 January 2010: Why go back to an ex? An ex is an ex for a reason.You made a new years resolution to make yourself feel better. So since it's a new year, get to know new men. Don't make the mistake of going back. You now know your ex isn't interested, so make ... (read in full...)
I want to walk around in my underware
Q. I feel like taking off my clothes and leave my underwear and bra on only but afraid that my family will find out but I cant resist doing it because my kids would see it...
A. 7 January 2010: Just do it once in a while when everyone is out. Or do it in the bedroom and make sure your kids don't walk in. ... (read in full...)
| *aringGuy's friends
These are mutual friends, so *aringGuy has
added them and they have added *aringGuy!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
