| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Can a guy be so sure about someone in the first 6 months?
Q. I don't know what my question is exactly but here goes After years of bad dating experiences and not one long term relationship, I've now been with my boyfriend for about 6 months. I've never met anyone like him, he's just amazing. I've me...
A. 13 January 2010: He sounds pretty sure of himself to me, especially if you've met friends and family and includes you in all his future plans. Those are good signs. My advice is to just go with it. If you worry, he might worry you're not into him. ... (read in full...)
Could these be signs he likes me?
Q. Hello I have known this guy for about seven months now. Things have started to change over the last couple of months. I work at a gas station he comes in everynight sunday through thursday. Let me know what you think. Does he like me? 1. First he...
A. 13 January 2010: I think he does, and I think his friend knows hence the phone call. But there's only one real way to be sure and that's to talk to him. Better to take a chance and know how he feels, than not take a chance and never know. ... (read in full...)
I'm being harrassed by his wife! How do I get rid of this married man I had an affair with?
Q. I recently read an article in regards to a women in a relationship with a married man for 18 years and some of the comments were pretty harsh, understandable, but harsh. Like her, I too was in a long term relationship with a married man, 13 years. ...
A. 13 January 2010: You can't 'not' hurt your son. But you really need to cut contact with this man very quickly. Clearly his wife is going to raise hell for a while, and you and your son need to get away. And don't forget, the man isn't a good father role model if ... (read in full...)
He said he found another girl, we were too serious, I'm hurt!
Q. i need some help. recently i've been getting involved with this guy, a few years older. i know for a fact he only wanted sex out of me, but i was completely smitten by him, and was prepared to give it. he lives a few hours away, but comes down to ...
A. 12 January 2010: Yes, I do. Let him well and truly pass. He obviously didn't care about you that much at all. You can do better. ... (read in full...)
I broke up with him because he had a g/f but now he doesnt
Q. i dont know where to start. i live in manchester and theres this lad who lives in birmingham. i got his number and we text eachother, then in the summer holidays last year, he went wales the same time as me. he wanted to meet me, but i didnt feel ...
A. 12 January 2010: Look at it a different way. He was talking to you while he had a girlfriend, and was even willing to meet. He would have cheated on her. That's why he's not worth it. Because he would have cheated. How long until he cheats on you?... (read in full...)
"If you love something set it free"?
Q. You know they say 'if you love someone set them free, if they come back they're yours, if they dont, they never were' or something to a similar effect... what if you let someone go and they come back, and then they leave again? :-( X x ...
A. 12 January 2010: Set him free permanently. ... (read in full...)
WIfe only wants sex in the dark or under the covers
Q. I have a problem that I'm at a standstill over: I've known my wife for 10 yrs; we've been married for 3 yrs. and I have only seen her vagina twice. I've talked to her very lovingly several times, without any success of a normal sexual relationship ...
A. 12 January 2010: Emily Answers has a good bot of advice. Your wife is clearly very self concious, and needs a huge amount of reassurance and care. ... (read in full...)
I want to be one of the boys, but I am relly one of the girls!
Q. ok guys heres the thing, lots of my friends are boys i mean like its sort of a 60%, 40% split between boys and girls and the boys are the majority, but after a while i tend to run out of things to talk about them with i try talking bout football but ...
A. 12 January 2010: Sounds like you're already doing a great job anyway. I think you can just be yourself, as you are. They clearly like you. ... (read in full...)
His g/f hates me and I don't know why
Q. So... This guy I like has a girlfriend. And well you could just say that she basically hates me. I don't even know why. She doesn't know that I like him, but everytime I see her in school she glares at me and everything like that. Im a year older ...
A. 12 January 2010: Chances are she senses you like him and she's warning you off. Try talking to her about why she acts like this... (read in full...)
I don't want to be his "rebound" girl
Q. am i gonna be a rebound...? ok this guy and his gf broke ul like last year. or maybe two years ago cause he cheated on her with his ex. i use to be attracted to him wen we were younger but the feelings faded. then summer 2008 me and him were ...
A. 12 January 2010: To be honest, I'd be more worried that he cheated with his ex. Sounds like he's not over her at all. Let him go before you even get started. He might well cheat on you too. ... (read in full...)
Tried to finger a random girl then she told all her friends
Q. I was a nightclub recently and i was kissing a random girl and i was feeling extremly horny. I attempted to finger her but with no success. She told her friends and i am getting alot of stick about it. What should i do?...
A. 12 January 2010: Well, there's nothing you can do to be honest. All you can do is make sure you don't try it again.... (read in full...)
I'm a lesbian with a boyfriend
Q. Ok. This is quite messy and odd for me. But about 4 months ago, my best friend's bf came home from college and he and his best friend came over to my best friend's house. The four of us drank and had a good time...and by the end of the night, I ...
A. 12 January 2010: I think if you're a lesbian, you need to move on from guys. And quickly, because he's falling for you. ... (read in full...)
Will the rebound marriage last?
Q. My ex has been in and out of relationships since we split up. He is now 35, slpit up with someone after 18 monthes together then three monthes later meets another one and marries her ten monthes later. Is this marriage likely to last if he was on ...
A. 12 January 2010: If he's on the rebound, probably not. Sounds to me like he's a bit of a mess to be honest. Rebound relationships can go on for a while, but sooner or later the cracks appear, as they will here. ... (read in full...)
I'm deployed and my wife has gone through some changes! Help!
Q. Hi I need help im so confused...im deployed and my wife has been acting really strange or i dont know what it is...before she always say she loves me and now she dont say it anymore...i ask her why and she says why does she need to say it when we ...
A. 12 January 2010: To be honest, it sounds like she might be cheating.... (read in full...)
I'm falling for a taken man... is he falling for me?
Q. Right, im 25 and met this guy who is now 27 in a bar in february of last year. we had a great night together and he gave me his number at the end of the night. anyway totally forgot about his number then in july of this year i changed phones and ...
A. 12 January 2010: Crap. I'm sorry, but I had to say it. 'I'm one of the nice guys'? Think with your head. He's cheating! He's not nice at all! And don't make the mistake of thinking what so many women think, which is to believe he'll happily leave his girlfriend for ... (read in full...)
Why do people who get into a rebound relationship feel the new person is the ONE?
Q. Im coming from my friends relationship well, her and her ex had only been broken up 1 month before he started dating another girl. This guy was always hanging with this girl for like a month and then said that "it just happened" that he had feelings ...
A. 12 January 2010: The first thing anyone who has been hurt will do is search blindly for someone that will care. That's the reason people often become the rebound. One partner is so desperate for affection while they get over their pain that they will take it from ... (read in full...)
His mum controls his life!!!
Q. I'm 29 years old, my boyfriend is 46 years old, we've been together for four years now and his mom is 71 years old, she controls his life tells him what to do what he should be doing and what he shouldn't be doing with his life. she wants him to ...
A. 12 January 2010: This is a man who just can't let go of his mother. And if she's controlling his life at his age, he's just not the guy you're looking for.... (read in full...)
She cheated on me at christmas and I don't know what to do for the best...
Q. me and my girlfriend have been seeing each other for about 4 months now and she told me the other day that over christmas she got drunk and ended up cheating on me, she didn't have sex with this person but they did other things. I really don't know ...
A. 12 January 2010: Big red flag. She has said that she doesn't know if she can promise not to do it again. That's not good enough. Don't ever be treated like second best. Seriously, you've been going for four months and she has cheated. She isn't worth another moment ... (read in full...)
Has anyone dated a twin and is that difficult?
Q. i have just begun talking to this girl who i think is amazing and beautiful, and she has a identical twin. Has anyone dated a twin and is that difficult? i would think there are things that are hard to say, like if you tell her shes beautiful t...
A. 12 January 2010: They might look the same, but their personalties are different, and that is what you have to compliment (along with her looks). She'll appreciate that.... (read in full...)
What is my first step to getting out of this marriage??
Q. I'm in love again for the second time in my life, to the same man. We were High School sweethearts, and separated during our college years. Here we are 12 years later and we've found each other again, almost as if we never skipped a beat. ...
A. 12 January 2010: Your very first step is to choose a good lawyer and speak to them. They will then offer you all the advice you can. I would also suggest talking to a friend, or family member you can trust so they know what is happening. The most important thing to ... (read in full...)
We tried to make a go of it, but he hits me when I want answers about his affair
Q. I need some advice so please take the time and read my post. I have been with my h/b for 29yrs married for 21yrs,two years ago i found out he was having an affair with a 28 year old co worker i belive he was thinking of leaving me to be with her she ...
A. 12 January 2010: I'm sorry, but this marriage is over, and I really hope you can see that now. Your husband cheated on , and it now hitting you. All his promises are lies, all his words are lies, and he's a total waste of time. Let him rot. Clean him out for ... (read in full...)
I want to break up, but he keeps telling me how much he loves me!
Q. So me and my bf have been dating for a good four months but it feels like so much more and now it's like smothering and want to brake up with him. The problem is not only the fact that he used to be my best friend but the fact that when ever he ...
A. 12 January 2010: If you want to break up with him, no matter what, you have to do it. He will be hurt, and it sounds like he does know it's coming. But believe me it's better to do it now than string it out. You need to do this. Take him aside, be brave and tell him ... (read in full...)
My partner puts me down all the time ... and I don't know why
Q. Hi, I'm really hoping for some help. I think you guys are great (I've posted on here before) and now I'm very upset so I thought maybe I could get some perspective here. I've been with my partner since 2002 and when I first met him he was loving, ...
A. 12 January 2010: I'm begging of you, leave this man. He doesn't love you at all. And his impotence is certainly not your fault. To be honest, it sounds like he's angry with his ex and women in general, so it taking it out on you. there isn't anything wrong with you ... (read in full...)
She has found somebody else but expects me to haang around nd comfort her
Q. My girlfriend met another guy and split up with me after we both got into a depression when our baby girls were born prematurely and died. She lacked affection and apparently found the perfect fairy tale guy to give her everything she needs. I have ...
A. 12 January 2010: You are right, she does need help. Clearly she is very disturbed about the death of your babies. I think next time she contacts you, you need to have a serious talk about what it is she expects from you now that you are apart. You need to explain ... (read in full...)
My friends have laughed at me because I worry I might be pregnant
Q. Hey guys.. Ok, this may seem really stupid and funny to ye but im actually freaking out here.. My periods a week late. My boyfriend and I haven't had sex (although we've talked about it). He's fingered me and I've given him hand jobs.. Is there any ...
A. 12 January 2010: There is a very slim chance (and I do mean slim), that if he had sperm on his hands and then fingered you you could be pregnant. Clearly your friends weren't exactly helpful. If you're worried, best to go to the doctor and talk about it.... (read in full...)
Who could the father be?
Q. Hi! I'm 7mnths pregnant! Due march 18th! The 1st day of my last period was 11th june which means I ovulated 14 days afta on the 25th! My most fertile days were from the 20th june to 25th june and I had unprotected sex with my partner on 21st and ...
A. 12 January 2010: You'll need a paternity test. That's the only way to be sure. And as the post says below, don't deceive. Apart from being unfair to the man, it's unfair to your child. DNA test is the only way, and you need to come clean now.... (read in full...)
When does the crappy feeling go away?
Q. I feel so awful! I met with my soon-to be "ex" husband to discuss me filing for divorce. We've been separated for a few years and I guess he thought we'd get back together. So I gave him the opportunity have closure and talk everything through one ...
A. 12 January 2010: My girlfriend went though the same thing with her divorce over a year ago. A year later, she feels a million times better. You and he had different wants and needs, so you're doing the right thing. He can try all the acting he likes. but the fact ... (read in full...)
I can't attract girls!
Q. No matter what I do, I just cant seem to attract girls, and the rare occasions I do, They get bored and move on after a short while. (But that's another issue). I'm not very confident, so going out and meeting new people is a bit hard for me. I'm ok ...
A. 12 January 2010: I was exactly like you just a few years ago. The good news is, I now have a fantastic girlfriend. I do understand where you're coming from though. Women don't like bad boys, but they go out with them because there is a sense of danger, or ... (read in full...)
In love with someone who is in love with someone else? (Sticky situation)
Q. I apologize if this is too long, but i would appreciate it dearly if you could hear me out and provide me with some advice from your own experiences and such. I fell in love with a girl two years ago and as much as i would like to call her my "...
A. 12 January 2010: All you can do is carry on trying to move on. I was in the same situation. Adored a girl, but she loved someone else. Gutting. But I focused on myself, and after a while, met someone else and realized I was well over the other girl. Just keep moving ... (read in full...)
I don't like kids and now I have one!
Q. I have a toddler daughter. I love her very much. But im going to b honest: i dont like kids, n now that i have 1, im still adjusting to the whole thing. I feel so awkward playing with her n trying to talk to her on a toddler level. Even my family ...
A. 12 January 2010: Apparently this is a normal thing. Sometimes parenthood can come as a bit of a shock, and there are plenty of others who have felt like you. The way to open up to a child, is to almost become like one (as stupid as that sounds). I don't have kids, ... (read in full...)
I regret that he told him he could talk to his ex again
Q. Why do I let her bother me all the time? I personally have not met this ex of my bf but I started doing some research and looked her up online....I know then that I looked so much better and prettier than her.......but even still this didn't help ...
A. 12 January 2010: Focus on the fact he said she was a friend and nothing more. They even tried going out, and it felt wrong. There isn't any real threat here at all. And to top it off, he did stop contact with her for you, so he's committed to you. I think you should ... (read in full...)
I feel I am a few years behind everybody and that I'll be rubbish at sex
Q. Ok heres the deal. I'm 18 and a virgin... I had a few relationships when i was younger, and have done a few "sexual" things, but never actually had sex. Then something happened in my life that put me under extreme stress and girls were no longer m...
A. 12 January 2010: No, you're much better waiting for someone you can connect with, than a woman who is paid to effectively fake. You'll find a woman you connect with, and she'll be able to experiment with you and show you what she likes. ... (read in full...)
I keep having bad dreams about people I love, or have loved, dying
Q. I've asked a similar question to this before, the situation has only worsened since then. I suffer from extremely disturbing nightmares, in which often a loved one dies. Usually it's my best friend/ex boyfriend that dies. It's been a variety ...
A. 12 January 2010: Take a really good look at your life. Is there something that is really bothering you or worrying you at the moment? Dreams often reflect how we feel. So if you feel bad about something, or worried, maybe that's the problem.... (read in full...)
I really like my friend, but he has a girlfriend, should I tell him?
Q. Okay, well for the past 3 or so months I have REALLY liked someone. He is really good friends with a lot of my close friends. One night I was with him and I really felt he was starting to share the same feelings. And then I went on holidays a couple ...
A. 12 January 2010: I think you'd be better getting over him. If he had fancied you, he wouldn't have gone out with this new girl. And if you tell him, you'll look bad for trying to steal him away. Let hi go. ... (read in full...)
He loves me but hes not going to leave the other girl
Q. I found out that my man is seeing someone. When i asked he said he love me although he is not going to live his gal friend. What should i do....
A. 12 January 2010: That means he doesn't love you, and is just using you. End all contact and move on before you get hurt. Don't waste your time on him. ... (read in full...)
I try to maintain the "I'm fine as I am" stance, but most guys seem to go for the trophy girl sort
Q. I have always thought that it was best to be myself- people always say "just be yourself" but then you have the Hollywood idea where looks are everything. Perfect hair, tight clothes, no brains. (Apparently it isn't "cool" to be smart or ...
A. 12 January 2010: It depends how desperate you are and what guy you want. A good guy will go for someone who acts who they are. The rubbish guys go for the trophy girls, or the ones who are desperate. My girlfriend acts as she is, and I love her for it. She didn't ... (read in full...)
Can stress and being physically and emotionally abused affect my pregnancy?
Q. I just found out that I am pregnant...about 5 weeks. Not in a healthy relationship, please don't lecture about the relationship, I know what I need to do. What I need is advice from people who have been through this before. I was hit in the l...
A. 12 January 2010: Very much so. Physical abuse can certainly cause you to lose the child. He only has to hit you and it can all go wrong. As for stress, my girlfriend miscarried before she met me, and the doctors did suggest it was because of her hugely stressful ... (read in full...)
Best friend engaged but I love her!
Q. I have this problem. I have this bestfriend. We have been friends for 5 years. Well I've been in love with her for a couple years now and never admitted to myself. I have just got out of a relationship. And of course she's been there for me this ...
A. 12 January 2010: I'm afraid there really is only one thing you can do and that is stand back and try to get over her. She's agreed to marry this other guy, so she loves him. All you can do is stand back.... (read in full...)
Should I get the morning after pill?
Q. should I get the morning after pill? I just had sex tonight w/o protection but he didn't cum inside. do you think I should?...
A. 12 January 2010: Yes, you can still get pregnant. ... (read in full...)
Father Left Me With Emotional Damage..what to do??
Q. hello(: im 16 and i just have a few questions about fathers. to start off with, my father left me when i was born and i have only seen him once when i was about 5 and since then have spoken a word to him. sometimes i feel like he completly ruied ...
A. 12 January 2010: The effect of a daughter having either no father or a bad father is that you will misunderstand men and their actions, and you will look for attention (as you have been doing). As Aunty BimBim says, the first thing you need to do is accept he's not ... (read in full...)
Should I move to be closer to her again?
Q. hey there, i am having the worst time of my lifetime. there is this girl whom i am working with, we first start it as friend,we were best of each other, she told me that i am the best person she has ever seen and god is compensation her for the time ...
A. 12 January 2010: Be careful, that's all I can say. She's said she's in trouble at the moment, so you don't want to end up dragged into a mess. I don't think she would do that to you in fairness, she seems like a great girl. I think you an afford to talk to her, but ... (read in full...)
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