| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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I don't want a sexual thing, but do crave her attention
Q. Okay, So I don't really know where to start with this. I have a friend, also a girl, and we're not the best of friends, but the way we act would make you think otherwise. We're not really into deep conversations or anything, a general cha...
A. 14 January 2010: This might be a case of you liking her as a friend, but her liking you much more than she would like to admit. I think it's worth talking to her to make sure she's okay. ... (read in full...)
Is this a sinus problem?
Q. Hi, I was wondering if anybody has ever had a problem like mine. I did a lot of internet research but I couldn't find a condition that matches the symptoms I have. I know the most obvious answer is that I have a problem with my sinuses, but I'm not ...
A. 14 January 2010: It sounds like it could be, but you'd be better off seeing a doctor. Only then will you be sure.... (read in full...)
How do I spark my relationship up and do something defferent to interest my boyfriend?
Q. How do I spark my relationship up and do something defferent to interest my boyfriend. We have been together for a couple years and have done lots of experimenting. Most recently I have been getting sexy ligerie to wear for him and he loves it. I ...
A. 14 January 2010: It sounds like you're doing a really great job to be honest. And your boyfriend sounds happy. I wouldn't worry so much, and just continue as you are. Maybe on occasion drag him into the bedroom and order him about a bit as well. ... (read in full...)
He's losing interest and slipping away! What can I do?
Q. i've had a major crush on a boy in my year for a while now. i thought he was interested but he seems to be slipping away from me if that makes sense.he is pretty popular whereas i am not so sometimes he doesnt talk to me around some of his friends. ...
A. 14 January 2010: You are now at the stage where you need to tell him how you feel. He's totally confused about how you feel, and nothing you do other than talking to him about how you feel will make him suddenly understand. Take a deep breath and tell him, or you'll ... (read in full...)
Is he braggin? Or is it true what he says?
Q. Dear cupid; i am soo sooo confused i have been with this guy for almost a year and a half...but i dont really feel so sure about our relationship. i have his email password and once i checked his email. i know it is wrong. but when i did it i found ...
A. 14 January 2010: Him saying he gets girls whilst away sounded like bragging. But asking his cousins to introduce him to new women is suspicious. I think you need to talk to him about this relationship, and if you don't get satisfactory answers, you'll need to tell ... (read in full...)
One last text to make him feel bad
Q. i actually thought he liked me.. made me feel so Special and pressured into sex.. and i gave in and i regret it and hate myself SO much:( he didn't even ring to find out if i got home safe or not..it was yesterday and i dont think hes e...
A. 14 January 2010: If he has used you, do you really think one text will make a guy like him feel bad? I doubt it. More likely he will laugh at you. And it has only been 1 day, so maybe he will call. Personally, I think you're much better off leaving it. ... (read in full...)
She says she's too young for a long term comitted relationship
Q. What does it mean when your girlfriend says she feels too young for a serious commited relationship, that she feels trapped, she doestnt like the idea of long term relationships? also what does it mean when she says that because ur her first off...
A. 14 January 2010: It means that she's not the girl for you, and wants to go and find herself. You now have to realize that she has moved on. Drinking won't help at all, that'll just leave you ill. Focus on your own life now, getting better and moving forward. My ... (read in full...)
I confessed that I liked him and he said he's not into it right now...what does that mean?
Q. I actually like dis guy. He doesn't more much about me but we know each other for 5months professionally. I too don't kno anything about this guy. But his good nature and character made me like him. And I just went up and told him I like him. He's ...
A. 14 January 2010: All you need to do is get to know him. He might not be ready for a relationship, but it's important you just speak to him and get to know him. That's the best thing to do. He might just be very shy about it all. Just get to know him a bit more.... (read in full...)
Should I wait longer for him, or should I move on?
Q. I am at college at the moment, and met this guy on my course in the first few weeks, we seemed to hit it off, flirted and texted a lot. He told me he likes me a lot and I told him the same. Recently we have been seeing each other outside of class, ...
A. 14 January 2010: Continue trying to get to know him, but stick to your guns about nothing happening. You need to really get to know him more and meet more. You'll soon know whether he's a player or not, because he'll get bored. ... (read in full...)
MY fella broke up with me, and I don't know what to do
Q. i was with my fella for over 3 months and we have known each other since we were 13, we got on like a house on fire, no disagreements nothing bad, he has had 2 bad relationships and he had to do as he was told all the time and had arguements 24 7 ...
A. 14 January 2010: To be honest, it just sounds like there is a lot going on in his head that has just left him all over the place. All you can do is try to move forward with your own life. Sometimes people have to do things that make no sense to anyone else. This is ... (read in full...)
What are the unspoken rules regarding sex?
Q. When you have sex, when do you normally finish? once the man has an orgasm or both? thanks...
A. 14 January 2010: Best to make her come first, then yourself because it's far easier for a man to come than a woman. So spend a lot of time on your girlfriend and please her, then just finish off and you should be fine.... (read in full...)
How do I help my guy friend get over being rejected by a girl?
Q. ok so i'm best friends with this guy. we hang out everyday and ignore the rumors that spread. problem is, he's liked this girl for over 8 months and found out that she really doesn't like him. at all. he's crushed. i care about him allot and i hate, ...
A. 14 January 2010: All you need to do is be there and listen. Just tell him you're there for him, and he'll appreciate it. ... (read in full...)
I was worried I might be pregnant so I dreamt I had a child with four eyes
Q. Ok, so I don't really know how to say this, and I'm pretty it's all going to sound like a worried, scared teenage girl asking for help, but that's exactly what it is, so I'm sorry. Basically, last night my boyfriend and I had sex, and though I've ...
A. 14 January 2010: Your worry that you might be pregnant made you have that dream, that's all. Perhaps you're worried, and not ready, so your mind managed to conjure up that image out of your worry. If you're worried at all, get the morning after pill. You live in ... (read in full...)
My husband got laid off and has turned into a couch potato!
Q. Ok please help me understand. My husband has been laid off for 3 or 4 month now and he has be come a couch potato. He is so lazy even our daughter sees it. She will say daddy you are a lazy butt. He sleeps till 11:00 or 12:00 every day and then ...
A. 14 January 2010: He is depressed, he's just hiding it. Often depression in a man doesn't come across with unhappiness, it comes across as it is with your husband. With a woman, depression can be seen in how she acts and her expressions. With a man, it can come ... (read in full...)
My LDR can be really nasty to me sometimes
Q. I could do with some advice please. I don't know what to do right now about my life and relationship. I have been with my boyfriend for 1 year and 10 months and i thought everything was going as well as it could be. We are technically in a...
A. 14 January 2010: Why would you want to change yourself? You are who you are, you shouldn't need to change. Your boyfriend should want you as you are. He shouldn't need to change a thing about you. Don't change for anyone. The truth is when this type of man knows he ... (read in full...)
How long does it take for the "honeymoon phase" of a new relationship to wear off?
Q. Just wondering...how long (on average) does it take for the honeymoon phase of a relationship to be over (or) start to wear off? Im not looking for people who say they've had the honeymoon stage for 2 years or that it all depends on the person, i...
A. 14 January 2010: If you're thinking that when it cools off you can move on him and he'll come back, then you're going to get hurt. The honeymoon stage lasts as long as it lasts. For some it's a few months, for some it's a few years. Don't bet that it will end ... (read in full...)
What do you make of her behavior?
Q. She teases me (makes fun of me). Whenever I talk to her she gets really loud like if I make fun of her she pretends to get mad (she almost hit me!). She's not a loud/flirty person at all and kinda shy. We usually don't talk (usually shes th...
A. 14 January 2010: I say ask her out on a date and see what she says.... (read in full...)
When will he get his karma?
Q. Karma?? I have heared that word countless times on this web site and my question is, do people believe it happens to everyone? I ask because I know someone, a very sneaky evil and cold person who uses women, he meets them moves in with them normal...
A. 14 January 2010: He'll get it, don't you worry. At some point, the payments will all be too much, or a very clever women will take him for everything. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend no longer loves me. Is it over?
Q. My boyfriend of six months told me yesterday that he thought we were going to to fast. In myself I knew we were, I mean he asked me to marry him a day into our relationship and we were having phone sex before we knew each others name (we met ...
A. 14 January 2010: Yes, it's over. The problem was it was built upon sex, not a relationship. He has just moved on because it wasn't real love. Spend your time getting to know a guy first, before doing anything else.... (read in full...)
My LDR isn't meeting my needs so I've started talking to another guy I met online in another state?
Q. I am 27 yrs old. I have been in a long distance relationship for a little over a year. I have known my boyfriend (he is younger than me) for several years (as friends) before moving and of course our relationship blossomed once we were 1000 miles ...
A. 14 January 2010: Quit with both these guys. You'll have the same problem with the next one if it's another LDR. You need a guy closer to you, because it's clear LDR's aren't really suitable for you. I think you'd be better meeting guys closer to you. ... (read in full...)
Why won't my ex answer my questions about who he's seeing?
Q. I split with my boyfriend last month after 2 years together. I thought as we had mutually decided that our relationship wasn't working, I would ask him if there was someone else as by then I thought I might as well ask him (he had been distant, ...
A. 14 January 2010: Sorry, but he's moved on. Whether he's seeing anyone or not, the best thing you can do for yourself now is to end contact and move on from him.... (read in full...)
Should I believe my boyfriend or his supposed one-night stand?
Q. ok i need help with this, i have been with my boyfriend almost 2years now we have a good relationship however around 2weeks ago i heard his cell phone go off in his pocket so i got the phone and there was a text from someone he named "who" the text ...
A. 14 January 2010: He did it. Sorry, but he did. She's not even trying to steal him. She's told you she wished it had never happened and it only happened once. He lied. ... (read in full...)
I know I'm making her miserable somehow but can't talk with her about it, what should I do?
Q. Right this is a rather strange one I think, but here goes.. I have been with my partner for ages, i honestly adore her and i really want to be with her forever. All the time together has been great until now. She seems in a constant bad mood an...
A. 14 January 2010: You're not the one making her miserable, somehow she's doing it herself. Sounds like low self esteem to be honest. I would talk to her about why worries so much. Be gentle. But you need to know. ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when you have stretch marks?
Q. well this isn't a sex or relationship question but I hope you can help me. What do stretch marks mean? Are you gaining or losing weight?...
A. 14 January 2010: Gaining and losing weight, and it can also be an indication of dry skin as well.... (read in full...)
What other means of ID can I use?
Q. hi this isnt a relationship question but i thought id ask anyway! i have lost my passport and provisional licence and have no other identification so i can get new ones i originally used my birth certificate but that has gone too, any ideas on what ...
A. 14 January 2010: Go to the General Registrations office and order a copy of your birth certificate. Also take some bills and such too, or bank statements.... (read in full...)
I hate my body. Is my boyfriend lying when he says he likes it?
Q. i hate my body.... i dont feel like a woman and im 20 i have small breats and i dont feel like i will ever truly saisfted my boyfreind.one because i feel i dont look like one with my breats size.two because he likes to watch porn and the females he ...
A. 14 January 2010: He's not lying. He loves you to bits. The porn is nothing but a quick relax. Don't worry about it, but do ask for some reassurance from him if you're feeling a bit insecure. ... (read in full...)
Would you call this cheating?
Q. I'm 26, not exactly a teen any more, and my gf is 24, we've been dating for year and a half now. She recently started a new job 3 months ago. But shes been acting really distant the last few days, shes been dressing up really nice, hardly calls me ...
A. 14 January 2010: Dump her. When I read this article and read the part 'post into my inbox so my boyfriend doesn't see', I knew something was going on. Whether they have had sex or not is now irrelevant. You know she's lied, you know she's been deceitful. And she ... (read in full...)
Are my friends just saying he likes me to make me feel better?
Q. alright, :) so ive liked this one guy since i was about 10 and like last year one of my friends, against my will, asked him if he liked me, he just said nopee. so after that i hadnt talked to him in forever, and i just saw him the other day , and ...
A. 14 January 2010: He has said to you he doesn't like you. Maybe he's shy. but if he couldn't open up to you at that moment, and he doesn't have a phone and doesn't go to the same school, then you'd be better letting him go. ... (read in full...)
Is my fiance in denial about drugs?
Q. Hi First of all thanks to all of you who answered my first question okay I am letting my fiance stay until the first of February but to me he is in denial or should I say trying to break me and let him continue to live with me I ...
A. 14 January 2010: I think you are walking into a massive mess with this man, and I think you really need to move on from him, no matter how much you love him.... (read in full...)
When it came down to it... why did he not do what he was dying to do?
Q. I started a fight with my bf ealier today, i felt bad. So to make it up to him I told him he could do a certain sexual act on me that for months and months i told him he couldn't b/c it just wasn't my cup of tea. Well I figured he'd just jump r...
A. 14 January 2010: Because he didn't need revenge, and he did't need permission to do something that he knows you don't like. He's clearly a good guy, so just say sorry for starting the fight and move forward. He respects the fact you didn't like the act, so al you're ... (read in full...)
How much space do I give her?
Q. How much space do i give her? Summed up, ive known her for about 5 months now. We have been serious now for the past month. All of a sudden (like 3 days ago) i start getting a bad vibe/attitude. Really short replies on everything. Come...
A. 14 January 2010: This is a girl who couldn't even tell you to your face why she was acting the way she was. That says it all, doesn't it? Maybe she did feel suffocated. She didn't' say anything though, did she? To be honest, I don't think she's worth your time.... (read in full...)
Am I always going to feel guilty for cheating on him?
Q. I cheated on my boyfriend a few months ago shortly after starting uni, I told him almost immediately and we are working through it. My boyfriend seems to be handling it a lot better than me, he's already pretty much forgiven me, he says 'the worst ...
A. 14 January 2010: To be able to forgive something, you have to understand something first. Why was it that you cheated? Ask yourself that, find the answer. Was it because you'd just gone to uni and you just rebelled a little? Or did you feel lost? Your boyfriend is ... (read in full...)
I lack self esteem and it hurts my boyfriend!
Q. i have a problem that hurts my boyfriend...... its wierd the way i act when im with my boyfriend and we are out in public for example we are eating out for dinner lets say well if a girl sits beside us i feel lets of a woman when i see their bodies ...
A. 14 January 2010: Ask yourself why you're so insecure. What is it in your past that makes you feel so insecure? There isn't anything wrong with you, and no doubt your boyfriend adores the ground you walk on. He likes you, because you are YOU. Not because you're ... (read in full...)
I did what she asked and now she beats me up
Q. I'm am very upset. A couple of months ago my friend told me to tell the guy tht she liked tht she liked him. I told him and she got mad at me. At first she just ignored me. Then she started bumping ke and tripping me in the halls. Then she beat me ...
A. 14 January 2010: No wonder the guy didn't like her back. She sounds like a real bitch. Let your parents know what's happening, and tell your teacher. ... (read in full...)
Are my friends right or are they just all sluts?
Q. My friends all think a guy should last an hr in bed, but my bff and i dont. we were both virgins and lost it to one another, and we are still getting use to it so therefore he cums quickly. do you have any proof that this is a normal thing, and my ...
A. 14 January 2010: I have this feeling your friends aren't actually nearly as clued is about it all as they'd like you to think. An hour is a long time for a man to be there, and a long time for a women to have to take it! The point is, so long as you and your ... (read in full...)
I know he loves me but I don't know if it's enough
Q. For the past few days me and my bf of 8 months have been arguing. Like any relationship we have had our ups and downs but for the most part we have had the most beautiful loving relationship. but for some reason i can't seem to get over this ...
A. 14 January 2010: Does he really love you that much? I appreciate the fact that he goes out with his friends. He should be able to. But he really doesn't seem to do all that much with you. All I can read is that you're sat at home, and maybe you occasionally see him, ... (read in full...)
I really want to be with him, or be his friend, but worry he might not want to even talk to me
Q. My cruch and I went to high school together and we were pretty good friends then. I didn't get to talk to him as much as I wanted to though because his girlfriend saw to that, who I was friends with. He and I were also really shy around each other ...
A. 14 January 2010: I feel very much for you, because I was there myself. 2 years ago, I did say hi to the girl I fancied. To be fair, we do speak occasionally, but not that much. Then I found someone else and now I'm happy. You're setting yourself up for a lot of pain ... (read in full...)
I am so lonely I cry and cry every night
Q. The guy I dated for several months moved away and I'm so heartbroken. I was always independent and never had a real relationship til this guy, and now I can't stand being alone! I feel so sad and lonely all the time, and would do anything to meet ...
A. 14 January 2010: You're not dumb. I think most people have felt this way at least once, so you won't be alone. But you have to give yourself time to get over this other guy before you can move on. If you're still heartbroken about him, then it makes you open to ... (read in full...)
I am a lonely single girl, wanting to know where to go to meet straight singles
Q. I'm 26 and have never had a serious boyfriend. I've been on dates and for the first time, I casually dated a guy for 8 months! He did not want to commit, but I'd like to count this as something. I am cute, young, funny, smart, interesting, ...
A. 14 January 2010: Maybe you're trying too hard? Good guys can find it all a bit scary if a woman comes across as working too hard, because it can unintentionally make you come across as desperate. So just relax about it all a bit more. Of course there is a guy out ... (read in full...)
I want to let my friend know how I feel about him without coming straight out and saying it!
Q. I'm deeply in love with my best friend in the entire world, but we don't go to the same school anymore. We still talk to each other every day for hours, but I want to make it something more. I am really compatible with him because we have so much in ...
A. 14 January 2010: Well, guys don't respond well to hints without misunderstanding everything. I once fancied a girl and she flirting and everything, so I asked her out and it turned out she didn't fancy me. The point is, if you send the wrong signals and don' say ... (read in full...)
My friend can't see that he is not good for her!
Q. My friend has been dating a guy for about a year now. He was nice and sweet at first and they made a cute couple. But then he started to be a jerk to her and her friends. He's been trying to pressure her into sleeping with him even though he knows ...
A. 14 January 2010: You can't do anything really, other than be ready with a box of tissues. If she can't see that he's no good, she can't see it. Everyone else knows he's an idiot, yet she will fight his corner. She'll get hurt in the end, and will then need to to be ... (read in full...)
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