| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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She said she wants to take things slow, then she invites me on holiday with her!
Q. Hello All, I recently started dating a girl, we have grown close but she said she wants to be just friends then move on when shes fully over a previous relationship. Fair enough, I'm not eager for a relationship and thats cool. Anyway today ...
A. 22 January 2010: It depends what she wants to do on holiday. She's taking you along with her family, I guess to see what their reaction is to you, and to get to know you more. A holiday with her is actually a good idea, because in many ways you will see to an extent ... (read in full...)
I need advice on how to help my boyfriend with his testicular cancer
Q. i am dating this amazing guy, i am completely crazy about him. the only problem is his health. unfortunately my boyfriend has testicular cancer. i am so worried about him, i don't know what to do. i can't even be with him right now so there's ...
A. 22 January 2010: At this time, all you can do is be at the end of the phone if he wants to talk. There are going to be times like this where all you can do is wait, and you're going to be feeling worse and worse because he won't talk or won't be able to. Be at the ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend wants to date me, not physically cheat, but also date others
Q. I have been dating a girl exclusively since the end of October 2009, she's 25, and was previously married to her first ever boyfriend, whom she has a daughter with. They divorced nearly a year ago, and I am her second relationship since. When we ...
A. 22 January 2010: She's keeping you very nicely on a string isn't she. Fact - if she loves you enough, she'd be with you. You're just being kept like a comfort blanket. Get rid of her. Never allow yourself to be treated this way. ... (read in full...)
My husband and I were very much in love but sudenly things have changed, am I doing anything wrong?
Q. Hi well my problem is that me and my hubby is very much in love where married for 4 years but now im confussed. well see he changed jobs and he doesnt share anything with me no more when he brings stuff home after work and i ask him polite great ...
A. 22 January 2010: Hmm, something is going on here. HE may be saying he's not having an affair, but there are signs here that he is. He actually stood up for another woman rather than you, kept her number but deleted everyone else's, you ask him about his day and he ... (read in full...)
Do I "hang on" or "move on"?
Q. I met an awesome guy online last September and thought we were going to be freinds, but he had other ideas, as he wanted to meet and I was over the moon. However, the day before we were supposed to meet, I guess I got a weird vibe, as he still ...
A. 22 January 2010: I think move on. This is the sign of a man who is cheating on a wife who will be sat at home twiddling her thumbs. Cut all contact and move on. ... (read in full...)
He got one of his friends pregnant while we were dating. Should I trust him and stay with him?
Q. When I first started dating my now boyfriend he texted me all the time. I really believed we had a connection. However after dating him for a little less than a month he slept with one of his friends and got her pregnant. He told me right away that ...
A. 21 January 2010: He's cheated on you one month into it and is already suggesting counselling? Run a mile.... (read in full...)
We fist fight all the time and it's not getting better... help!
Q. Well i was with my girlfriend for a year and a half. We spent so much time together, and as i look back i think that is where some of the problem started. I had so many friends even me and my exes was cool, and she did not like that. I talked to ...
A. 21 January 2010: Sweetie, you are suffering domestic abuse at the worst level. You even had to fight back it was so bad. She has controlled you and made you get rid of all your friends, she has hacked into your emails and read them for no good reason, and has hurt ... (read in full...)
Is it just my imagination or does my teacher like me?
Q. I think it most probably is my imagination, but I have to be sure that this teacher isn't showing interest in me, because I don't want to report him if it's nothing. So - when I first had him as my music teacher I really hated him, he was the ...
A. 21 January 2010: If there is more, tell us. He does sound like he's a bit weird, but as of yet he may not be a pervert. He might just be eccentric. What else is there?... (read in full...)
Help, I'm in love with a married man (my son's father), what should I do??
Q. Hey Cupid my name is vanessa. im new to the site but i have an issue and i would love some advice. In 2005 i fell in love with a guy. In 2006 i got pregnant and i had his baby. He had another child and he said he had no dealings with his other ...
A. 21 January 2010: He doesn't love you. That's the problem. He's just using you for sex. He's a married man who's having his cake and eating it. And you're the one who will look bad when it goes wrong. If he truly loved you, he would have been there and he wouldn't ... (read in full...)
Just as I got over him he comes back into my life saying he wants me back. Help!
Q. My boyfriend high school sweetheart of 5 years cheated, i believed he was the love of my life but i found out last August that he was in a relationship with onother girl, when i confronted him he agreed he was cheating and said he doesnt need me in ...
A. 21 January 2010: No, do not give him another chance at all. This is a guy who cheated, then ruthlessly told you he didn't need you in his life and threw you away, not coming back in the three months you tried to get him. How long until he does it again? He is your ... (read in full...)
If he finds out I'm banging his "little princess" the man will kill me!!!
Q. Ok, I have a HUGE problem. I am 29 yrs old and have been working for a construction company for a year. My boss is totally cool and since I have no family in the area has pretty much opened his home to me. We get along great both at work and off ...
A. 21 January 2010: You have a choice. Tell her that you and her need to tell him what's going on, or end it and move on. Either way he will probably end up finding out. So you need to make a decision on whether you want her in your life or not. ... (read in full...)
She's ignoring me and won't give me a reason...
Q. i know a girl that i close to and i like her she likes me back but i hade some problem for 3 weeks and i couldnt talk with her all that time, so when i met her in school she was sad i tried to talk to her she said doesnt want to talk to me or even ...
A. 21 January 2010: You have to understand that women thrive and live on the world of talk. To not speak to her for three weeks is a big deal to her, no matter what your excuse. So stop being angry with her, that won't help. Write her a letter and give it to her. Tell ... (read in full...)
Love stories...
Q. I just wanted to say that I'm love, and it feels great. It's unrequited, but it really makes my life better. This isn't exactly an advice question, I just wanted to hear anyone else's love stories because this site always seems so depressing, why ...
A. 21 January 2010: I had lost my job, was feeling low, then one day a woman literally walked into me and we just got talking. I'm still with her :). ... (read in full...)
My best friend likes a jerk! Help?
Q. Hey everyone, I've been really annoyed with my friends judgement lately! My best friend, let's call her Whinnie, really likes this guy I can't stand! He is in no way attractive, practically looks albino, has a pizza face, dorky hair cut, thinks ...
A. 21 January 2010: All you can really do is be by her side with a box of tissues for when she realizes she's made a big mistake and comes to you in tears. Sometimes people have to make mistakes to learn. ... (read in full...)
I agreed that my wife have sex with another man and now she is pregnant with his baby and won't give it up!
Q. me and my wife made a mistake but my wife thinks different, don't know what to do I’ve been married to my beautiful wife Robin for almost 2 years, we dated for just over a year before we got happily got married, I would say maybe about 8 months...
A. 21 January 2010: She doesn't' really care about you, or she would never have done this in the first place. She's even wearing this other man's ring. You've been played from the start, I suspect. Now you need to make a decision. Can you live with her and this baby, ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to not have a boyfriend at 14? A friend in my class has had 45!
Q. Just wondering if its normal to be kinda frigid at 14? It's just that I have seen girls my age who have gone past the whole "shy" thing and are dating boys whenever they feel like.Theres a girl in my year who' had over 45 boyfriends. I ha...
A. 21 January 2010: There's nothing wrong with you. Trust me, you'll be in a better place then they will when you're 30. You will find a decent guy, where as they will have found nothing but trouble. ... (read in full...)
Husband addicted to prostitutes!
Q. Can I regain trust in my husband, married for 28 years found out 3 weeks ago he has been seeing prostitutes for 11 years but stopped 14 months ago because he found one 55 miles away that he has seen twice a week, bought lots of presents for etc. ...
A. 21 January 2010: I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Sadly, this isn't just like one mistake that happened when he was drunk or hurt or something. This is a man who has been cheating on you for 11 years with hundreds of women who he spent money and time on, and ... (read in full...)
I still love him! So how do I salvage this relationship?
Q. Hey aunts and uncles i need advice ive been having problems with my boyfriend and i cant seem to get him off my mind. he took my virginity and he did confess to me that he had female friends. but i believe its more. however i have male friends and a ...
A. 21 January 2010: It's not even broken yet. All you know is that he has female friends, the same as you have male friends. It doesn't mean there's anything going on. You both need to really talk together and open up about what's happening. There's too much suspicion ... (read in full...)
Lately, my gf seems to be going off me'. What can I do to keep her?
Q. Ok so I dont really know where to start I am in love with my girlfriend, I really am. But lately I dont know...she seems to be going off me. And that put's me in a really bad mood which makes our conversations not as pleasent. We've never had ...
A. 21 January 2010: Well quit being mad, that's just going to make things worse. Talk to her about how you feel and ask her to reassure you. You need to talk to her and really listen to her. ... (read in full...)
She isn't taking my calls..should I keep trying?
Q. Hi cupid, i want to ask question.i need a reasonable answer for this. i met this girl just a week. she came to my office where am working with her elder sister who have married. they came to browse in our office. when i saw her, i don't know what ...
A. 21 January 2010: No, leave her alone. She has made it clear she is not interested, and if you continue, you'll end up in trouble. Let her go, she's not interested.... (read in full...)
I can't tell if my boyfriend's best friend likes me..what do you think?
Q. Alright so I have a bit of a complicated situation. It may seem silly, but can someone please tell me what this situation seems like from the outside? Do you think my bf's best friend might like me a little? Please bear with me as this may get ...
A. 21 January 2010: Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't. If he does, he's keeping it hidden for the sake of his friend. I think you'd be better not thinking about it, or you might end up in trouble. ... (read in full...)
Discussing marriage with my bf...greatly upsets him. What should I do?
Q. I have been dating my bf for 4 years. Whenever we try to have a serious discussion regarding our future (marriage) he gets extremely upset with me (i.e. yells, shouts, HUGE arguments). I try very hard to do special things for him. I cook, clean, ...
A. 21 January 2010: Your post actually says it all. You don't live together, yet you cook, clean, do his laundry and shop for him. You go to his, he doesn't come to yours. You're a really great lady, and you will make another guy a great wife. But this man is clearly ... (read in full...)
Caught my bf masturbating while chatting to another woman, online!
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for 5 years, we met when i was 14 and he was 18, i was dating his friend (nothing serious) and eventually he and i hooked up. We had a great relationship in the begining (as most are), then i caught him jacking off while ...
A. 21 January 2010: You both need to move on. You've been having a relationship with someone else, and he now feels rejected, so he's starting to talk to other people as well. This was bound to happen. You both need to move on. ... (read in full...)
He turns angry and aggressive when I attempt to leave him! What should I do?
Q. hi sorry this is going to be a long post but i will shorten it as much as i can. i have been with my partner 5 years - we no longer live together - i dont want to be with him anymore but am scared to leave him. He has been violent and ...
A. 21 January 2010: Just take your son and go to your family or your friends' house. Then tell him it's over. Or tell your family or friends you need help, get them to come over and then tell him it's over. If he refuses to go or starts to get violent, call the police ... (read in full...)
Scared of this gang girl who is mad at me! What shall I do?
Q. Ive some how been involved in a bit of trouble with this girl. Apparently I've been sending some slutty pictures around.[which I HAVEN'T]. She is the type of girl you dont want to know. She texted my mate to say "when i see her (me) she's gonna wish ...
A. 21 January 2010: Tell your parents immediately, and make sure a teacher knows at school If there is any threat made to you at all, call the police immediately. ... (read in full...)
H's bashing me to other people, on this dating site! What is his problem?
Q. I dated someone who is now on match.com and is bashing me to the women he is now communicating with. A friend on match.com found this out through her community of members and told me. I texted him and let him know i knew, which of course he denied. ...
A. 21 January 2010: He feels so bad and resentful about his divorce that he's taken it out on you and probably some other women. There isn't really anything you can do, other than hold your head up high. You know you're a great girl, and that's all that matters. He ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong for getting upset at the way my bf disrespects me?
Q. Ok, my and my boyfriend have been together for almost 5 years. I'm starting to question our relationship though because of the inconsideration he has for me and my feelings. Last night his nephews and niece had stopped by with his sister. His ...
A. 21 January 2010: No, you're not wrong. Everyone is entitled to time to themselves, and for him to lose it over a locked door shows how bad he really is. I'm not sure how you live (rented or live in), but if you split, don't give him any money.... (read in full...)
How do I ask him back? Its my wrong and I admit it.
Q. i broken up with him 3 months ago. I wanted him back after a week of breaking up but he refused because i hit him and scolded him in front of some people for some other thing he did. I was asking myself is pride so important? Then only recently i ...
A. 21 January 2010: You would be better writing a letter to him. The video is a sweet idea, but given your history, it could be dangerous to o that. The last thing you want is for your video to end up on the internet. Write him a letter explaining how you feel, and ... (read in full...)
Should I end my marriage to find real love, or just be happy that I have someone who loves me?
Q. Ok i get married to a wonderful lady to help her out of a bad situation. we have been married almost two years. i love her but am not in love. I am 54 years young. i think everyday about how to get out, but don't want to hurt her and dont want to be ...
A. 21 January 2010: You married this woman, so you must have loved her. It would be a shame to end it without at least trying to put more effort into it. Get to know her again, spend more time together. Maybe her problems have just kind of blocked how you feel. Get to ... (read in full...)
I really like this girl but I'm scared to ask her out in case everyone laughs at me!
Q. i am Polish, i really love one English girl but she just doesnt seem to like me.i am not sure if i should try to talk to her, i always go red when im near her... i think that everyone will laugh at me when they will know that i asked her out, what ...
A. 21 January 2010: Don't ask her out straight away. Get to know her first. That way you'll know whether she's into you or not. Just get speaking to her.... (read in full...)
Is it safe to give my boyfriend a blow-job with braces on?
Q. My boyfriend of three years and I are both 20, we're both old enough to be responsible and know the consequences of sex and... tomorrow I get my braces. I've been waiting for them for about eight years now (since I was 12 and found out I actually ...
A. 21 January 2010: He'll be fine whether you give him oral sex or just a kiss. Your braces are on the front of your teeth and won't get in the way.... (read in full...)
Is 1 hour a big enough distance for a relationship not to work?
Q. Is 1 hour a big enough distance for a relationship not to work. I've hung out with this girl who i like a lot and shes told me that she likes me a lot, thinks im cute but she's busy and lives 1 hour away and thinks that it would be too hard to d...
A. 21 January 2010: I'm about an hour or so away from my girlfriend, so it's no big deal. I just think maybe she's not that into you.... (read in full...)
I'm finding it hard to trust my husband seen as he is on dating websites saying he is looking for someone to cheat with!
Q. I am having problems with my husband. I have seen twice now that he has filled out profiles on dating websites. Once this summer and once last week. After filling the one out this summer, he never went back to it, but the other he has gone back to. ...
A. 21 January 2010: Girl, confront him with the emails and the profile. If he still denies it, ditch him. To be honest, he's a lying cheating creep. No wonder you don't trust him. But until you show to his face evidence that you know, he won't admit it. Personally, I ... (read in full...)
I cant stop questioning my boyfriend after he cheated on me while I was pregnant! How can I stop myself from doing this?
Q. my boyfriend cheated on me when i was 6 months pregnant. 9 months on we are still together but im still having my doubts. i keep getting the same dream of him and this girl every night before i go to sleep and its really starting to get me down and ...
A. 21 January 2010: Rather than question him, try asking him for reassurance. You're hurt, of course you are. It's up to him to reassure you about how he feels for you. I think you should talk to him and tell him you're just terrified it will happen again, and you ... (read in full...)
Do I just leave her alone and let her live her life or do I try and pursue her and at least try to stay in her life?
Q. It has been almost three months now since my ex and I parted ways from our one year relationship. Our break-up was not easy on either of us, but I felt that there was no resentment or hard feelings towards one another. We stayed in contact ...
A. 21 January 2010: Let this girl go. She has been playing you far too much. She has kept you in contact, kept telling you she likes you while seeing other guys, then severed contact because you're seeing another girl. She's not worth another moment of your time.... (read in full...)
I feel my boyfriend is taking advantage of me...
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for ten months now on and off, i do love him but i think he is taking advantage of me, he works and i go to school, i do not ask him for money but he does, where does his money go? well from what i know he less than ...
A. 21 January 2010: You're paying for him? Well I admire your loyalty to this guy. You're a great girl. But save your love for a guy who actually is worthy of your time. This one is just using you. Measure a man by his actions, not his words. Be brave and move on. ... (read in full...)
Am I in the wrong for getting upset over my girlfriend chatting to men late into the night?
Q. Hey everyone, I could REALLY use your independent opinions on a big issue I'm having with my GF! Help! Now, either I am nuts and the problem's all mine, or she's not treating me right! Please help me figure this out! We've been going out for...
A. 21 January 2010: To be honest, I think you're being played too. Maybe it's time to move on. Don't be second best.... (read in full...)
Am I in the wrong for getting upset over my girlfriend chatting to men late into the night?
Q. Hey everyone, I could REALLY use your independent opinions on a big issue I'm having with my GF! Help! Now, either I am nuts and the problem's all mine, or she's not treating me right! Please help me figure this out! We've been going out for...
A. 21 January 2010: This is a bit suspicious. Talking to men is one thing, but talking to them late into the night and then saying 'If you love me you'll trust me' isn't the best excuse I've ever heard. She should be reassuring you, not trying to emotionally blackmail ... (read in full...)
How can I get him to like me again now that I've lost weight?
Q. i really like this boy but i dont no if he still likes me i mean like we went out and stuff but i got fat and i he called me fat and no thaqt im skinny again i dont no wat to do i want him to like me and i want to get back with him i need help can ...
A. 21 January 2010: Sweetie, why would you want a guy like that bad, given that he was so cruel towards you? He's no good. He didn't just accept you, and a guy should just accept you. Now that you have a new outlook, find a new, better guy who won't treat you so badly.... (read in full...)
How do I make my girlfriend happy?
Q. what i've 2 do 2 make ma girlfriend happy?...
A. 21 January 2010: Talk to her about herself, listen to her (and I mean really listen). Make her feel like the most important person in your life. Be there for her. ... (read in full...)
Can depression/stress cause you to be more aroused?
Q. my parents are going through a rough time at the moment and i think will eventually break up. my dads walked out twice but uses the house when mums at work. both times he's walked out its affected me pretty bad, (more noticable the second time) ive ...
A. 21 January 2010: Yes it can. It has done with me. ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend wants to date me, not physically cheat, but also date others
Q. I have been dating a girl exclusively since the end of October 2009, she's 25, and was previously married to her first ever boyfriend, whom she has a daughter with. They divorced nearly a year ago, and I am her second relationship since. When we ...
A. 11 January 2010: Buddy, I just think you're wasting your time. I know that's not what you want to hear from me, but don't be second best. You're either and item, or you're just not. ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend wants to date me, not physically cheat, but also date others
Q. I have been dating a girl exclusively since the end of October 2009, she's 25, and was previously married to her first ever boyfriend, whom she has a daughter with. They divorced nearly a year ago, and I am her second relationship since. When we ...
A. 4 January 2010: Do you really want to wait all that time, knowing she is seeing other men, just to see if she might want to be with you in six of seven years time? She's in a dream world where she's waiting for someone better to come along. and you don't know that ... (read in full...)
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