| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Is there a place for a teenager to become a foster child without going to the police?
Q. Hi there, I have posted on here before about my step father hitting me, and how my mother has chosen to be happy with him although he is abusing me. But now, I am at a turning point. I have searched all over the internet, and there is no foster ...
A. 18 January 2010: www.childhelp.org
Try this site if you're in canada, it may help. Also, try speaking to teachers about it. I do think you really need to speak to the police though, because they can offer the best advice. Be brave. ... (read in full...)
She cheated. How can I tell if she's being sincere about working things out?
Q. what if a girl makes a mistake of cheating on you one time, but really wants to be with you and make the relationship workout? how would you be able to tell if she wants it to workout?...
A. 18 January 2010: By slowing everything down and really getting to know her again. To trust her, you need her to be totally open and honest, and she needs to understand that you will need a to of reassurance and time to trust her again. If she doesn't understand ... (read in full...)
Blocked him on FB and now he won't talk to me!
Q. ok guys a silly one....a few weeks ago i accidentally blocked the guy i like on facebook i felt i was always on there seeing what he was up to,which was nothing i might add..anyway i unblocked him and he wasn't my friend anymore!now he's not talking ...
A. 18 January 2010: This is why I hate this internet sites. So much can go wrong between friends and relationships over something so small. If you want him back, write him a message explaining that it was a really stupid mistake and you hope he will forgive you. If he ... (read in full...)
How can I change his mind about not wanting a relationship?
Q. I continue to go out with the man i dated last year when he asks me that but now we have rather a friendship than a relationship. We stay friends as he was not interested for a serious relationship. Can this ever change and can he ever be serious ...
A. 18 January 2010: I'm afraid he's not interested and there isn't anything you can do to to make him interested. The best thing you can do is move on.... (read in full...)
I want a holiday, I don't want to pay, b/f has no money, how to convince him to come?
Q. really want a holiday this summer but boyfriend has no money and i don't think i should be expected to pay. how can i convince him to go away with me?...
A. 18 January 2010: He is at the moment, but give him time. I lost my job a little while back, so I know it hurts a lot. He needs to get his money in order first. ... (read in full...)
My dreams are making me paranoid.
Q. Hi there aunts and uncles I have had a problem for quite sometime now, ever since i have started dating. every-so-often i would have bad dreams about my girlfriends, they would be arguing over some boy or some lie shes told and something iv f...
A. 18 January 2010: Right, first of all, dump this girlfriend of yours. Not to put a point on it, but she's cheated on previous boyfriends, she' been lying to you about contact with her old flame, she's now meeting this guy form Iraq, which means she's after something ... (read in full...)
In love with my best friend! It's a FWB.
Q. I have a very close male friend with whom there have lately been some 'benefit' action. He always warns me not to get attached and that it's just a FWB situation but truth is, I am attached. I can cope with not being his girlfriend, our friendship ...
A. 18 January 2010: You have to end it. He has made it clear that he wants you for nothing other than sex, and warned you not to get attached. He isn't interested in you as a girlfriend, so for your own sake, end it. You will only get more attached if you don't, and ... (read in full...)
Out with the old and in with the new?
Q. I have been friends with a guy for nearly a year and the past 3 months we've gotten closer.My ex(dated for 5 years broken up for the past year) decides to call and tell me all the things that I've ever wanted to hear him say and is aking me to give ...
A. 18 January 2010: Your ex is doing this because you're seeing someone new. If you went back to your ex, he'd only end up dumping you again. Face it, he's your ex for a good reason. It wasn't working. The best thing you can do is tell him it's over, cut all contact ... (read in full...)
How can I create a better life for myself?
Q. Help! I am lacking a good support system that I can trust. The two people that I trusted most have both betrayed me. My fiance' of 4 years cheated on me with my younger sister who was living with us. It has been one of the most painful times in my ...
A. 18 January 2010: I'm afraid there is no easy answer. The most important thing now is that you really focus on your own life. This is just about the worst betrayal of all, so no one is expecting you just to move on and forgive everyone. Take your time, and really ... (read in full...)
Is my wife dating another man?
Q. please help me to make a decision about my relationship? i am suspicious of my wife dating another man after reading a message on facebook to her friend stating she was going on a date but i arrived home that night discovering "going out clothes ...
A. 18 January 2010: I think you need to have a serious talk with her about all this. Your evidence is circumstantial, yes. But there is enough there to make most people wonder what's going on. Perhaps try to find more evidence first, if you can, then confront her. ... (read in full...)
Why does he still contact me after we parted ways?
Q. I dated a guy for 9 months, then he moved to another city. I liked him more than he liked me, and I'm having trouble getting over him even though it's been months. So I do the right thing, try not to contact him, but if I go longer than a week wit...
A. 18 January 2010: It makes him feel good to know that you're there to give him attention. Seriously, just ignore him and move on if you want this to end. ... (read in full...)
Was I too pushy with him?
Q. My husband and i are in the process of getting a divorce and so is his sister and her husband. well last wek her husband and i made out and talked on the phone for an hour and had phone sex. we both said we liked it and he told me to call him ...
A. 18 January 2010: I only have one thing to say, and that's don't get in involved. ... (read in full...)
I think he sabotaged our relationship because he anticipated it wouldnt last
Q. My ex and I hung out recently. He's been M.I.A. for months due to personal/financial probs.He contacted me,he was in the area - We talked and flirted for hours in the car.He talked bout hating the dating process,wants companionship,someone ...
A. 18 January 2010: To be honest, it seems to me that this guy has some serious issues he needs to address before he's worthy of any woman. He cheated in every relationship except yours, which says that at some point he would have done it to you. He has issues he needs ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cheats on me, I wish I could just walk away
Q. well my Bf is a jerk, we've been together for more than year and a half. he keep lying and he does a lot of internet dating. I went on holiday for XMas and came back on the 4th, when i came back he aid we will make a fresh start and he gonna stop. I ...
A. 18 January 2010: Yes you can leave him. You're not leaving him, because your own esteem is low and you're clinging into the first person that shows you any affection. Dump him, cut all contact with him, delete numbers and focus on your own life and dreams. He ... (read in full...)
My ex girlfriend and her friend cooked up a scheme to get back at me
Q. So, I went out with this girl for maybe 3 weeks. A the end of the three weeks, she dropped me for occasionally saying stupid (not mean, just stupid) things, and not calling her on a holiday. I tried to get her back for maybe a week then about a week ...
A. 18 January 2010: Well, to be fair you did go with her friend, so I can understand why she's hurt. However, if they're out for revenge, then maybe avoid them because it's shown they're both a little bit unstable. In the future, don't act like that with women. But ... (read in full...)
I found a photo on his phone, he says its nothing but why keep the photo?
Q. i have just found a photo of a woman on my husbands phone which he had hid in his phone files when i asked him who it was he lied and after alot of shouting at him he admitted he had kissed her on a night out when he was away on a stag doo. He said ...
A. 18 January 2010: Neither can I. He as no excuse. If he hasn't deleted it, then he should. If he won't, then you need to have a serious talk.... (read in full...)
I feel betrayed, we broke up and while I was home crying he was off having sex with lots of different girls, now he wants me back
Q. My bf broke up with me, then went out and had sex with a bunch of random girls, and now he wants me back after 2 weeks of being broken up for. Why would he do this? He says he realises it was all a mistake and that he didnt appreciate what he had ...
A. 18 January 2010: Leave him out of your life. Clearly he has no respect for you at all. He just wanted to go out and have sex with a load of women, then come back to you. You can do better.... (read in full...)
Is this a lost cause or can we eventually be more than just friends?
Q. There is this girl I like and we've been like best friends for just over 3 years now. She knows I like her and asked her out back in September, and her reason for saying no was 'you can do better' Its quite painful knowing that she used to...
A. 18 January 2010: To me, doesn't sound like anything will happen. Sorry, but you would be better off moving on from her.... (read in full...)
He still wants to see me and have sex with me but doesn't want the title of my boyfriend!!!
Q. Ok so I met this guy and it was like love at first sight for both of us so as days passed he asked me out on a date and obviously I replied yes and accepted so this date turned into a relationship. we dated for 3 years, only problem was he was a ...
A. 18 January 2010: He's using you for sex and nothing else. He is talking rubbish. He's just using you and controlling you. So sit down and look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself whether you want to be nothing but second best to this selfish guy who doesn't care ... (read in full...)
Caught my husband in affair and he left me pregnant and alone!
Q. I am 36 weeks pregnant with baby #2. We have been married for 5 1/2 years and already have a son who is almost 4. We were more like roommates than a married couple, but I never imagined he would be cheating on me. Man..I was wrong! He withheld ...
A. 18 January 2010: Well, though I know it's hard for you, and I'm sure you're hurt, I just want to say well done for standing up for your kids and taking him for all he's worth :). Good for you. As for whether the relationship will last between him and her, chances ... (read in full...)
Does she have a thing for me, she's acting kinda wierd?
Q. She teases me (makes fun of me). Whenever I talk to her she gets really loud like if I make fun of her she pretends to get mad (she almost hit me!). She's not a loud/flirty person at all and kinda shy. We usually don't talk (usually shes th...
A. 18 January 2010: I say talk to her! It sounds like she really does like you. But the only way to be sure is to talk to her about it. ... (read in full...)
What's her game? Is she leading me on...?
Q. I'm 14, female, and bi. I spent the night at one of my close friend's house last night, who I have a huge crush on. She knows I like her because I told her a while back ago, but she said she doesn't feel the same. Anyway, last night she was being ...
A. 18 January 2010: I know you're afraid, but she really was sending a lot of hints about it all. Sometimes you have to take a chance, no matter what happens. ... (read in full...)
My last g/f said I lacked in the bedroom department, now I worry about my new relationship
Q. I am a 23 year old male who has been single for 6 years. Back in 2004, when i was 16, i fell in love with a girl who i had a crush on all through primary and secondary school. We hooked up and all seemed good, until i found out she’d cheated ...
A. 18 January 2010: Being inexperience ins't a bad thing. I think you'll find women are more annoyed by guys who think they're experience and don't listen to what they actually want. Just listen to the girl and you'll be fine. She will guide you. ... (read in full...)
I love my b/f but I also wonder what is "out there"
Q. I am 23 years old and I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years, he is my first everything and so for a while now I've been feeling like I want to know what's out there before I commit to him entirely. I love him and he's perfect for ...
A. 18 January 2010: I'll tell you something, when you're truly in love, you just know it. If you need to compare, then it's not strong enough. And like I said, what happens if you date other guys and then find out he's not the one. He'll have waited for nothing and be ... (read in full...)
When I go to college I am scared that he will go looking somewhere else for sex.
Q. Hi..I am 17 years old and me and ny boyfriend are sexually active. Well the problem is that I am a senior and he is a sophomore. I got accepted to college and will be leaving this summer. This means I won't see him as much anymore and I am scared ...
A. 18 January 2010: I think so long as you both speak to each other, communicate and spend time together when you can, you'll be fine. It's when communication breaks down that the problems begin. Just make sure you're always talking and seeing each other when you can. ... (read in full...)
I don't think my relationship is going anywhere! Just broke off our engagement.
Q. Hello: Okay first of all I called off my engagement to my now ex fiance last Monday, he is using drugs, someone put a envelope with a letter in it week before last then there are the lies and he will not talk when he should, we live together I have ...
A. 18 January 2010: Get him out, even if means you getting a court order. He's lied, he's taking drugs and you just don't need that in your life. Sounds more to me like he's just using you so he has a bed for the night (sorry if that sounds harsh). Talk to a lawyer and ... (read in full...)
What's her game? Is she leading me on...?
Q. I'm 14, female, and bi. I spent the night at one of my close friend's house last night, who I have a huge crush on. She knows I like her because I told her a while back ago, but she said she doesn't feel the same. Anyway, last night she was being ...
A. 18 January 2010: Ask the girl. Maybe she does like you. But you won't know unless you ask her. Be brave. ... (read in full...)
Pregnancy Smyptons
Q. I need some advice. I read many posts on this site and I value the advice u give people. My boyfriend and I had unprotected sex just after my last months period but not durin my ovulation period. I was just wonderin how soon can u experience ...
A. 18 January 2010: Well it's always possible that you are if you had unprotected sex. And the symptoms seem to be pointing in that direction though they could be something else. Best thing to do is go to the doctor and get yourself checked. ... (read in full...)
I feel if I get too close to him he'll leave me...
Q. i have been with this guy for over half a year and realy like him and trust him about everything but for some reason we have never made out... every time he tries to i stop him after like 10 sec and i dont know why, i think about him all the time ...
A. 18 January 2010: Talk to him. He's going to be feeling a bit rejected if you keep on stopping him, and that is more likely to drive him away. Just explain to him that you sometimes worry and could do with some reassurance. The more you push him away, the more likely ... (read in full...)
Christmas day shuffle, he wanted to be with his family, I wanted to be with mine
Q. I and my husband been having alot of problems because I and his mom do not get along. For xmas Ihad a big fight with his parents and sister because I wanted to leave early to my family and they were in the middle of opening the gifts. he deffend his ...
A. 18 January 2010: In the future, never make the mistake of trying to see both your parents and his on the same day. See one on Xmas Eve, the other set on Boxing Day and reserve Xmas day for yourselves. Now onto the actual point. Sadly, you chose the wrong moment to ... (read in full...)
My friends seem to chose guys based on looks
Q. When I talk to my friends, their requirements for guys are mainly based on looks. My friends are very pretty- they have always been told they are pretty and they know they are pretty. When they talk, they talk about wanting to date a "hot guy" or ...
A. 17 January 2010: And out of all your friends, who do you think is the one the truly nice guy will pick? Who do you think will have the best relationship in the end? who do you think will be happiest? You will :). You're right, they are superficial. They're not ... (read in full...)
I love my b/f but I also wonder what is "out there"
Q. I am 23 years old and I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years, he is my first everything and so for a while now I've been feeling like I want to know what's out there before I commit to him entirely. I love him and he's perfect for ...
A. 17 January 2010: I'll tell you straight that you would be better letting him go. That fact that you are not sure if he's the one, proves he is not the one. If he was, there would be no way you would feel this way. You can't 'not' hurt him. He is going to be hurt. ... (read in full...)
I don't know how to tell him the pic on myspace is a fake
Q. My friend and I had a challenge. At first I wasn't going to do it but agreed that we wldnt do it for long. The challenge was to get a fake pic and post it on myspace and see if u could act fake. I hated doing it and secretly didn't add any friends ...
A. 17 January 2010: Well I think all you can do is be honest with him, and hope he doesn't think you're just playing him or something. Just be honest, and hope for the best.... (read in full...)
I left school too early, now I want to know how to gain the qualifications I need
Q. hello readers i have decided that i would like to be a peditrician when i am older. but the thing is that i left school when i was 16 and i have no further education. i was wondering if anyone could help me in which qualifications i need to make i...
A. 17 January 2010: Well good man for wanting to turn it around. Go to this site.
www.medicalcareers.nhs.uk
and just search through it. There's a lot of information there that can help you, from qualifications through to courses and such. ... (read in full...)
My last g/f said I lacked in the bedroom department, now I worry about my new relationship
Q. I am a 23 year old male who has been single for 6 years. Back in 2004, when i was 16, i fell in love with a girl who i had a crush on all through primary and secondary school. We hooked up and all seemed good, until i found out she’d cheated ...
A. 17 January 2010: Don't worry. Your ex was a rather immature young woman who dind't really know what she was doing either. The fact is all men need guiding to their woman's needs. Your ex didn't guide you because she didn't know what she was doing. And to cheat on ... (read in full...)
My b/f danced with, and almost kissed, another girl, now I can't trust him
Q. Hey. about 2 and a half months ago my boyfriend of then 6 months went to a club and danced with another girl (i mean proper dancing - he told me he had a semi) then as she pulled him to kiss him he realised what he was doing and pulled away as lips ...
A. 17 January 2010: I'm sure you do feel down and worried about all this. He was an idiot to do what he did, though he was pulled to her and he pulled himself away. To give you this ultimatum was a bit harsh though, because I don't think he's really giving you all the ... (read in full...)
I feel I am his second option when it comes to people he spends time with
Q. I need help or advice its a lil long but someone please hel.So me and my boyfriend of soon to be 6 years we live together and have a 4 year old son. so the problem is that he has a friend and he is related to me and i feel that all his attention ...
A. 17 January 2010: Don't be afraid to speak to your boyfriend. I would sit him down and tell him you feel. Explain that you're feeling neglected and need some time and reassurance. You'll soon know what he thinks. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is heavily in debt and I don't think it will be cleared before he retires
Q. my boyfriend of 50 is in £25,000 debt and it doesn't look like it's going to be cleared by the time he's retired. he says it's a mixture of things but generally bulit up from everyday living - i can't really see how because he hasn't had any ...
A. 17 January 2010: He probably will, but you're kind of asking the wrong people. However, if you're worried, go to this site.
citizensadvice.org.uk
find out where your local office is and book an appointment to see someone. They give free advice, and might be able ... (read in full...)
I want a holiday, I don't want to pay, b/f has no money, how to convince him to come?
Q. really want a holiday this summer but boyfriend has no money and i don't think i should be expected to pay. how can i convince him to go away with me?...
A. 17 January 2010: Sorry sweetie, but if he has no money, he can't go. ... (read in full...)
How do I get my ex to forgive me for what I did?
Q. This past December, I reconciled with my ex after a 9 month breakup. Before that breakup, we had been together for 4 years. We were engaged to be married. We weren't getting a long and I started to get cold feet. We were fighting all the time and I ...
A. 17 January 2010: God, why would you want her back? Seriously, she has issues. All right, you lied. But even if you had told her the truth at first she would have done this. To be honest, I think you're better off without her. You're asking her to forgive you for ... (read in full...)
How do I get my ex to forgive me for what I did?
Q. This past December, I reconciled with my ex after a 9 month breakup. Before that breakup, we had been together for 4 years. We were engaged to be married. We weren't getting a long and I started to get cold feet. We were fighting all the time and I ...
A. 17 January 2010: God, why would you want her back? Seriously, she has issues. All right, you lied. But even if you had told her the truth at first she would have done this. To be honest, I think you're better off without her. You're asking her to forgive you for ... (read in full...)
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