| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Even though we used protection I am paranoid now about being pregnant
Q. Well ok I'm 22 years old. Last time my period ended was on December 25. I lost my virginity on the 7 of January. my boyfriend and me had sex three days in a row.. but every single time we used a condom we even checked before and after condoms ...
A. 26 January 2010: It might be a good idea for you to go on the contraceptive pill as well as using condoms, that way you're even more protected.... (read in full...)
I have cheated and lied to my husband, how can I rebuild his trust?
Q. I really need some help. I have cheated and lied to my husband. And he does not trust me at all.o%! And I know that he will leave me if he can't trust me, we have 2 children together. I love him so much and don't want to loose my family. How can I ...
A. 26 January 2010: Sit down with him and tell him you will do whatever it takes to prove to him you love him and that you regret hurting him.... (read in full...)
Foreskin doesn't pull back
Q. Hello everyone :) i need sum advice. The problem is when i get hard my foreskin doesnt pull all the way back and am worried there is sumthin wrong with me. I havent lost my virginity yet and am 18 so i just need to be told whether i have a problem ...
A. 25 January 2010: You might just have a tight foreskin, but you may need to see the doctor about it. ... (read in full...)
My son's 18 year old friend wants to have sex with me - I'm 45! What do I do?
Q. I'm a 45 year old woman and I have a eighteen year old son. My son has a friend who is also eighteen. Yesterday I found out he is possibly going to Iraq within a month. He told me he's had a huge crush on me and that he wanted to have sex with me ...
A. 25 January 2010: I'm seeing an older woman, so I know how much fun it can be! Go for it. Just make sure you do it when your son isn't around AT ALL. Maybe go out somewhere to a hotel to be on the safe side. ... (read in full...)
How should I proceed, following our blind date?
Q. I went on a blind date this weekend. Prior to the date we spoke, emailed, and texted quite often for a week. When we met, I liked her immediately. We spent 5 hours together and had a great time... I think, hahaha. We got cozy with each other... a ...
A. 25 January 2010: Wait 3 days, then call again. If you still don't get an answer, then let her go. I always give 3 days then call again, if still no answer or lack of interest, then she's not the one.... (read in full...)
Is this sexual assault? Please help...
Q. Okay so will somebody please help me out here...if a boy is fingering you and you tell him to stop and he doesn't is that sexual assault or something???I really need answers......
A. 25 January 2010: If you tell him to stop, and he doesn't, yes it is assault. ... (read in full...)
Would it be against the law to date my student-teacher?
Q. I turned 18 on the 3rd of this month. There's a teacher (actually, not even teacher... uh, student-teacher) at my school who I've become very close with. He's 20. He, for lack of a better term, 'expressed interest' in me first. So, before I do ...
A. 25 January 2010: I'm pretty certain it would be. In Britain and other European countries, it's illegal for any teacher or assistant to date a student, so I would have thought it's the same in the USA. ... (read in full...)
Is she testing the waters, or are we really just going to be friends?
Q. I am man of 44 years of age and have been out of the dating game for a long time now and find it hard to tell what is going on.There is a lady i work with that i really like,we get on we get on well joke around have some fun,seem to bounce of each ...
A. 25 January 2010: It might be that she's just testing the waters. She could be worried about getting into trouble, or she could be worried that she doens't know you well enough and wants to get to know you more. For now, I think it's worth just going out with her and ... (read in full...)
We're 9 years apart and we're living together, but he's changed since I moved in!
Q. Hi...I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now...I met him through his brother and started a long distance relation ship. He lived in NY and me in FL..I decided to meet him after talking to him for 7 months..It was like love at first ...
A. 25 January 2010: You have discovered an interesting problem that haunts a lot of men and women. You both fell in love so quickly you forgot to really take time to get to know each other. He now has you, so he can use and abuse you. I would really think about whether ... (read in full...)
Partner calls me from work but only talks for a second or two and I don't know why?
Q. Dear Cupid, From Monday- Thursday,the job where my fiance works allows him 3 breaks: 10 am (10 or 15 minutes), 12 pm (Lunch; 30 minutes), and 3 pm (15 minutes). Then on Friday's, he gets off at 11:30 am and his break is at 9:30 am (10 or 15 minut...
A. 25 January 2010: Don't worry. This isn't as serious as it seems. Either he's busy, or he's being teased about talking to you by his male colleagues. Maybe just say to him you miss how you both used to talk a lot and see what he has to say about it. He might just say ... (read in full...)
Wife had anal sex with another man, how should I react?
Q. Mod note: had some language and sexual content not suitable for younger aunts and uncles, changed to make it... more friendly. I went to a party with my wife and I forgot to eat beforehand, well I got drunk and passed out. I woke up a couple o...
A. 25 January 2010: Confront her.... (read in full...)
How can I bring up the 'separation' conversation with my wife?
Q. well it has been a few months now and I have seen a lawyer and a counselor I think I am ready to have the seperation chat with my wife of 5 years we have been together for 9. I just wanted to ask how does one approach the other on this? Even though ...
A. 25 January 2010: Not been there myself, but my girlfriend has, and she said the best way to ever approach something like this is to just sit down and say it. You have to take everything a step at a time, rather then worry about it all at once. So worry about telling ... (read in full...)
Could I be falling out of love ?
Q. my boyfriend and I have been together for 3years now, and things have been great. clearly there have been ups and downs, but it's generally good. Recently tiny things have been getting to me, and make me so annoyed at him. I always tell him when i'm...
A. 25 January 2010: Maybe the problem is that he's not dealing with the problems, so they don't go away. I think maybe you really need to sit down and think about what you want for your own life, then make a decision about what you want to do. It could just be that ... (read in full...)
Why am I falling for a guy whose cheated in the past?
Q. what is wrong with me? why am i in love with a player? hes cheated on his past two gfs and im sure if i get with him he would cheat. i never liked him before only recently i have never done anything with him. i just think about him alot. he doesnt ...
A. 25 January 2010: Maybe your self esteem is low and you're looking for someone who can provide you with excitement? Or maybe you're hoping that he will change for you so you can feel very special? There are several reasons you feel this way. There's nothing wrong ... (read in full...)
It's been over a year since we've spoken, but now we've started talking again. Could we possibly rekindle what we had?
Q. About a year ago, I broke up with this guy I had been dating for about 6 months. I had a lot of reasons, but the main reason I did it was because we were at different parts of our lives. I was in college, and he had not yet finished high school, ...
A. 25 January 2010: I'm a firm believer that ex's should be left in the past. That said, there are some cases where ex's have got back together and it has worked out. I think you should take it slow and see what he says. Don't rush it, just see what he says, get to now ... (read in full...)
How do I approach this guy I have a crush on?
Q. hi there is this guy that lives by me and i kind of have a little crush on him. i want to talk to him but i dont know how to aproch him. what can i do ?...
A. 25 January 2010: All you need to do next time is smile and say hi. Just say you've seen him around before but have never had the chance to speak to him. I'm sure he'll respond.... (read in full...)
Have I gone too far being spiteful over my husband's affair?
Q. I have done something really stupid. In a fit of rage over my husband's affair with a work colleague (and very drunk) I sent some emails designed to get her into bother. Although it did achieve that purpose it has also got him into a very precarious ...
A. 25 January 2010: I understand you were angry, but you may have made a big mistake. This happened to someone my girlfriend knows, and he was more or less frozen out of the firm,lost his job and then his wife who had been wronged in the first place ended up next to ... (read in full...)
Have a rocky relationship with my girlfriend who does heroin and I don't want to lose her, what should I do?
Q. My question is most likely a little to big for this forum... My girlfriend and I love eachother very much. We have been dating for a little over a 3 years. We took a break about a year and a half ago for the summer because we were just getting ...
A. 25 January 2010: You need to let her go for her own good. She has problems that you can't solve for her. It's great that you want to be there, but this woman is a mess and in truth, the best thing you can do is move on from her. Otherwise, you'll just be the one ... (read in full...)
Lust over emotion... should I wait? or Should I go for it?
Q. I'm fifteen and am going out with a sixteen year old. I'm a virgin and I know that he isn't. He just recently asked me out, and I asked him to maybe wait a little. He really didn't want to but he said he would wait, for me. He also said people don't ...
A. 25 January 2010: No. I have the feeling he's after you for sex and nothing else. Plus at this time you're too young (I'm pretty certain the age is 16). Have some control and get to know him a lot more. You don't want to end up used.... (read in full...)
Would YOU let your wife strip?
Q. My wife and I have discussed threesomes, but ultimately said we didn't want to cross that line and risk our relationship; however, it doesn't mean we don't still think about it, from a curiosity standpoint. She mentioned she would like to strip, ...
A. 25 January 2010: The problem I have is this isn't just about a career and just making money, she's really using this as a very personal thing. My worry is that it might make your relationship a bit worse to be honest. If it was just about the money, I'd say go for ... (read in full...)
Is it fair that I should down my ex to my new boyfriend in orde to make him feel good?
Q. I'm female - when a relationship ends and a new one begins is it okay to say bad stuff about the man you have just came out of the relationship with to the new man in your life? Not vindictive stuff, just stuff that makes the new person in you life ...
A. 25 January 2010: Leave your ex in the past where he belongs. Your new boyfriend just needs to know you care for him. He doesn't need to hear about the ex at all.... (read in full...)
What kind of heart can you have to mistreat someone the way he has?
Q. Recently broke up with a young man i had been dating for about 4 months. When we started dating he was all I thought I wanted an exclusive relationship. However, as time past I learned that his break up with his ex was more recent than he had ...
A. 25 January 2010: I'm afraid to say you've kind of learnt an important lesson. You really have to get to know a guy well before committing to him, and it's so important that you ensure you're not the rebound, as I think you are sadly. This guy clearly has issues he ... (read in full...)
Am I over reacting or is the age different too great?
Q. ok...well i just started talking to this guy and hes so sweet and i feel like we have been connecting but then i realized hes 27 and im 19. is there too much of an age difference or am i just overreacting? please help...just say its fine or i ...
A. 25 January 2010: I think it's fine, as long as he treats you with respect and care and love. ... (read in full...)
I hope he hasn't gone off me, what do you think?
Q. ok i hope this doesn't sound like a stupid problem but i have been seeing this guy for a couple of weeks and I really really like him. i haven't felt like this about anyone in ages, despite going on many dates. Well friday we went out and had a re...
A. 25 January 2010: You'll just have to talk to him again. Text him and see what he says. He might have thought that he was coming on to fast, to deleted that comment. You never know. It's a bit early to tell whether he's interested or not. Text him.... (read in full...)
My hubby treats me like dirt, is his behaviour right, doesn't he love me anymore??
Q. Hello everybody. i ill apriciate it, if Men and Women answerd me please . im very confused well see my husband tells me im sick and tired of you i need my space i have no privacy i want to be single i can afford to live on my own. a couple of hears ...
A. 25 January 2010: The fact of the matter is this man hasn't grown up and what he's really saying is he doesn't want kids. Or, maybe he's having an affair or something with this other woman. To be honest, you're just going to waste your life if you continue with this ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend slept with his step sister - what should I do?
Q. Ok so this is a tricky one... My boyfriend slept with his step sister. It was a long time ago but since it happened the two of the became really close and - best friends even. twenty years ago her mum stole my boyfriends dad from his mum - I'm no...
A. 25 January 2010: Focus on the fact that your boyfriend did stand up for you and tell her to back off. Yes, what they did was a bit weird, but it wasn't illegal. And yes, she clearly comes from a background without much of a female role model. but your boyfriend has ... (read in full...)
The boy I love has to have an operation with only a 50% chance of survival, have I just said goodbye to him forever?
Q. I`ve been a bit upset and worried, the boy i love has to have an operation on his head and the doctors said that there is a 50% chance he will live and a 50% chance he will die. He is beginning to say goodbye to me and he asked me to marry him. He ...
A. 25 January 2010: There is a 50% chance he will live, so no, you haven't said goodbye for the last time. He has a good chance of living. No one can say sure whether he will live or not, but you need to be brave and focus on the chance he will survive. Because ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with my best friend but he doesn't seem to care!
Q. Ok there my best friend who's really sweet and cute i know him for like 4 years.. and i have a big crush on him but he doesn't seem to care a lot. I don't know if he is lying to me but he always tells me that he loves me but never acts like it. i do...
A. 25 January 2010: The only way you will ever know how he feels it to talk to him. You have to be brave and take the chance. He might really fancy you but feel shy about it. So try talking to him.... (read in full...)
Is height a problem when it comes to a relationship? Should the man be way taller than the woman?
Q. Hi everyone! I'm 5'5 feet tall and my husband is only about an inch taller than me.whenever i stand next to him i feel like i'm bigger than him! or we are the same height.he's thin too.and im average.So even when posing for photographs,i tend to ...
A. 25 January 2010: No, there's no problem here at all. So long as you love each other, there's no problem. ... (read in full...)
What should I do? Giving up is not an option!
Q. hey guys/girls,, i will make it simple and not that big but i really need your help i know a girl that im close to (going out, filtering, feeling jealous, calls, texts) but i had a problem and i hurt her because i couldnt talk with her for 3 w...
A. 25 January 2010: You can't do anything. You have done everything to try and get her to talk, and she isn't. This other guy is now making advances because he sees she isn't talking to you and sees this as his moment. There is only one thing you can do and that's to ... (read in full...)
15 and pregnant, please help!
Q. im 15 and pregnant. im 5 weeks in and when i told my mum and dad they were furious. and they said they wouldn't support me. my boyfriend dumped me and said he wouldn't help either. so im thriving on my own and i am deciding whether to keep or not ...
A. 25 January 2010: Your parent's reaction doesn't' come as a surprise, but it might have been a knee jerk reaction, so I would suggest trying to talk to them again. Also remember that your boyfriend is responsible for the baby, so make sure you get everything you can ... (read in full...)
How do I tell him that I am not slim to save any embarrassment on the night?
Q. i want to tell a man i am meeting soon that i am not slim. what should i say. we are only contacting by phone at the moment. have sent him sum pics and look gud in them but in reality i see myself as much bigger and think he has a rite to know. i am ...
A. 25 January 2010: As long as the photos do reflect you as you are now, you'll be fine. My girlfriend is a size 14, and I adore her. So my guess is if he really lies you and the photos reflect who you are, he honestly won't mind.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's younger sister caught me in an awkward situation, what should I do?
Q. my girlfriends sister came to visit us on the weekend, she is younger and was playing on the wii so my girlfriend went out for a bit to visit a friend. I was bored so went to bedroom to read for a bit and then I started getting horny and decide...
A. 25 January 2010: You're better off telling her if her sister might say something. Better if coming from you than someone else.... (read in full...)
Where can I get free, confidential treatment for an STD?
Q. I think I might have an STD where can I get tested? is there anywhere to do it for free or cheap and with privacy? like not notifying my parents. I'm 17....
A. 23 January 2010: In the USA there's something called Planned Parenthood.... (read in full...)
Which is the better buy - Fujifilm or Panasonic camera's?
Q. Hi, i recently asked a question about a fujifilm camera for my gf, but now am wondering if a fujifilm or a panasonic would be a better buy? ANy suggestions would be most welcome, Many thanks...
A. 23 January 2010: Fujifilm... (read in full...)
Read his letter and tell me..should I work this out with him?
Q. Here is a letter my "fiance" sent me.. we have a 21 month old daughter have been together for 3 years. Please read it and let me know if I should bother trying to work this out. thank you. ----(from him) So let's cut the crap. I don't ...
A. 23 January 2010: When a man takes this kind of step, genuinely, he's had enough. It's very easy to say he's a narcissist, but usually when a guy gets to this stage something is very wrong with the relationship. He wants to work it out, but clearly is terrified of ... (read in full...)
7 years on and he still has excuses not to marry me
Q. Ok i just dont know what to do anymore. I was married for eighteen years. It was rocky marriage and stayed for the children. I was filing for divorce and had met this man that swept me off my sweet. He pursued me so strongly. He was so honest and ...
A. 23 January 2010: I think you should try talking to him about it. He may just not be a marrying type of guy,and if he's still making excuses after 7 years chances are marriage isn't on the table.... (read in full...)
Is my penis small?
Q. I'm 20 years old and my penis is 6 inches in length and 5.5 inches in girth, and I feel like its so small. Sometimes I get nervous with new girls because I think they will think its small also. So i really want to know if its small. (Mod Note - O...
A. 23 January 2010: You're above average.... (read in full...)
I'm dating a married man, he wants sex, but if I give it he might break up with me
Q. i am dating this married guy, i am married too. i am 18 years old and he is 32. i know is kinda crazy but im really attracted to him. we met by our job, it was my first time i worked and damm! it happened, i am so into him, maybe is because i have ...
A. 23 January 2010: Go back to your husband and work on your marriage. All this married guy wants you for is sex. He won't leave his wife, he's just after you for sex and nothing else. Of course when he's had enough he'll move on from you. That's what married men who ... (read in full...)
I rejected him twice but now he has a g/f I think I want him
Q. Okay I know it sounds weird, but I have no other option. I like a guy that I have rejected about 2 times because I was scared to be in a relationship. I wanted to be, but i couldn't face it. He's told me he loves me, but I was to scared to adimt...
A. 23 January 2010: You're too late. You only really want him now because you can't have him anyway. Let him go. He's moved on.... (read in full...)
I'm giving off 'stay away' vibes to guys and want to change that
Q. I am a confident girl and I'm having trouble seeing why guys are not attracted to me. They never approach me or bother to look at me twice. However, the guys are not solely to blame. I will admit that I am intimidated by the opposite sex and it's ...
A. 23 January 2010: When you see a guy you like, talk to him, really get to know him. This happens to quite a few people, so you need to do a little bit of chasing if you really like a guy. Don't be afraid to talk to him and just really get to know him. You may have to ... (read in full...)
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