| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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I'm giving off 'stay away' vibes to guys and want to change that
Q. I am a confident girl and I'm having trouble seeing why guys are not attracted to me. They never approach me or bother to look at me twice. However, the guys are not solely to blame. I will admit that I am intimidated by the opposite sex and it's ...
A. 23 January 2010: When you see a guy you like, talk to him, really get to know him. This happens to quite a few people, so you need to do a little bit of chasing if you really like a guy. Don't be afraid to talk to him and just really get to know him. You may have to ... (read in full...)
Marriage problems, BOTH of us are writing for your help!
Q. My husband and I have been married for 6 years. During these years the last 3 have been pretty rocky. In these past 3 years we have only had sexual relations about a dozen times. I was the cause of this. I pushed him away and told him no so he quit ...
A. 23 January 2010: Responses to wife's questions.
1) Yes, if he still loves her, and if she has proved that she is willing to change and will not do it again. This also means proving it from now, meaning you need to be open about texts, emails etc. Everything must... (read in full...)
She's oblivious to my real feelings but it's seriously eating me alive.
Q. I am seriously in love with someone. I think about her all day and dream about her every night. She makes me feel like nobody ever has before, but we could never have a relationship for the simple fact we are best friends already. This sort of adds ...
A. 23 January 2010: You say that you're not sure how she feels. That means you haven't told her. So how do you know it can't be more if you haven't said anything! Tell her! It's worth a try.... (read in full...)
Why don't guys reply when you text them????
Q. I dont get it. Why don't guys reply when you text them. He's my mate, we're good friends hes often said that to me but i sometimes wonder. We dont talk much online as i have to start the convo and when we go out together hes always really shy around ...
A. 23 January 2010: Some guys just don't have their phones on them all the time, some are rude, some are shy, some don't place as much emphasis on texting. Take your pick. There are loads of reasons. Chances are if he's shy, he has a nervous time just texting.... (read in full...)
Help needed choosing camera for my gf please
Q. Hi all, I am stuck between buying my gf a fujilm finepix J28 and a Fujifilm finepix J37. The J28 (10 mega pixels) has loads of reviews saying how great it is but I cannot find any for the J37 (12 mega pixels). However I can get them both for th...
A. 23 January 2010: I'm betting that the new version is the same as the old, just with more megapixels. Fuji is a quality company, so go with the newer one that you can get for the same price. Just keep the receipt in case it has to go back.... (read in full...)
I'm in an arranged married and don't love my husband AT ALL!!
Q. hi guys mine is a really complicated story I was in love with a guy for one and a half years who kept me completely happy and satisfied but he is 3 years younger than me and from a different religion so our marriage was not possible and i had to g...
A. 23 January 2010: I think this is a time when you have to look at your life and decide what you want. You know this guy isn't the one, you know your ex is. So take a deep breath, and end it. You'll feel so much better about it all. Yes, your parents will no doubt be ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend told me 2 days ago that he needs space, what does this mean?
Q. My boyfriend told me 2 days ago that he needs space, what does this mean? We have been seeing each other for 5 months, when i first met him i can remember being SO happy because i had finally found a nice guy. He promised me he would treat me r...
A. 23 January 2010: You are leaning an important lesson here. It's a hard one, but when it's over, you will be in a better position to know how a man feels. Everything here has happened to fast. When a man professes his love to you and makes all these promises so ... (read in full...)
A love triangle...
Q. i just got over a guy I liked for two years, and found i liked a new guy who likes me back, i went on a group date with him as friends and we were planing another when my best friend told me she liked him too. This was of course after I agreed to a ...
A. 22 January 2010: If she had said that she had liked him BEFORE you had gone out with him, then I'd have said back off. As it is, you are already dating, and now she has admitted she likes him. Sounds to me like she's jealous to be honest. But she's too late. She ... (read in full...)
I’m still uncertain about my friend and our relationship as friends.
Q. I’m still uncertain about my friend and our relationship as friends. He sometimes acts as if he really likes me and other times he can ignore me and talk more to his other girls who are his friend. He even complimented me that I was wearing a Boston ...
A. 22 January 2010: The things you are describing are all the signs that he really likes you, but is too damned shy to say anything.If you want to know straight how he feels, take him aside in private and tell him to his face that you fancy him. Then ask how he feels. ... (read in full...)
How often and when should I kiss her?
Q. Ok i'm 14 and male and my gf just kissed the first time today, now were going onto the weekend so I can sorta think on this and maybe listen to y'all! when do I kiss her in the day or when in school do I kiss her?...
A. 22 January 2010: When you feel like it. :). Just spend time with her, and when you both look at each other, kiss her. It'll all happen naturally. ... (read in full...)
The end of a fine romance?
Q. The end of a fine romance?? I've been in this relationship for 3 years of which he last two years its been a long distance haul of 520 miles round trip (due to family commmitments), I try and visit every 3 weeks. Last summer for fun, I google...
A. 22 January 2010: I think this is a huge mess. Setting her up was a pretty immoral thing to do, but let's face it, she failed the test on a massive scale and said you were just a friend. You'd do better to just move on from all this. You were a bit cruel setting her ... (read in full...)
She still won't talk to me...
Q. Well its been 4 to 5 months now since me and my ex broke up.. i let her go but it was hard.. the thing is.. we havent talked in about 5 weeks... and she still doesnt want to talk to me.. am i missing something? our break up wasnt that bad.. but it ...
A. 22 January 2010: When someone cuts contact, it means usually that there is someone else. Maybe she has found someone else and has chosen to stop contact with you so she can make it work. Or maybe she's just hurt and needs space. Thing is, she is your ex, so this is ... (read in full...)
Things get complicated when we're in all the same classes...
Q. So, I moved to the UK in September to go to university, currently working through a Master's Degree, and I met a guy in one of my classes, and sooner than I realized we became very, very close and are practically best friends. Thing is, I have ...
A. 22 January 2010: Sadly he has made his decision. There is nothing you can do to change it. I think maybe send him a note telling him that although you know he has to stand by his girlfriend, you are there as a friend and nothing more. That might help and open him up ... (read in full...)
Do you think she will ever forgive me for not being completely honest with her?
Q. Hello, i met this girl and we hit it off. We became close freinds and shared lots of stuff with each other, she revealed some personal information, she had been sexually abused by her father as a child. She told me she had been in a relationship for ...
A. 22 January 2010: She will find it very hard, and I suspect will not be able to. Sorry to say that. If she has been abused by her father and hurt, then her experience of men from an early age will be guys who have lied and hurt her. Your lie, though you didn't really ... (read in full...)
Help! Did I make the right decision...?
Q. Today i broke up with my long boyfriend called Sean who lives in ireland and who is the same age as me and i got asked out by a boy that goes to my school and he is called Fraser. Fraser was one of my ex boyfriends in the past and broke my heart a ...
A. 22 January 2010: I would suggest to you that neither of these guys is right for you. Sadly, Sean just lives too far away, and if you split with him for your ex, then that shows he's not the one. As for your ex, you're playing a dangerous game with your own heart ... (read in full...)
Don't know how to deal with inexperienced boyfriend.
Q. Hi, i am 19 and have just entered into a relationship with a guy who is also 19. I'm used to older guys but thought it would be nice to be with someone my own age... but it turns out he's really inexperienced. I am myself a virgin, but have ...
A. 22 January 2010: I'm afraid you can only take your time with him. Have patience. You'll find he's just terrified, so don't worry about it. You'd be surprised about the mental state of a lot of men! We spend all our time talking about it, but when it comes to doing ... (read in full...)
Happy couple, wife meeting with ex umm friend
Q. Before we got married, my wife had a relationship with another GUY whom she wouldn't quite call a boyfriend. According to her, she liked the GUY as a friend and loved to spent time with him because he was very romantic in nature. She never had sex ...
A. 22 January 2010: You need to know more before you can confront her. I would suggest just asking her about how he is and if she knows anything or has heard or seen him in a while. She might admit to having met him. If she doesn't, then you might need to dig a bit ... (read in full...)
If I forgave him, why do I still feel the hatred inside me?
Q. Hey, I was just wondering if anyone feels the same way that I do now. My ex and I broke up 8 months ago, he cheated on me. A little later we became friends after that, only friends. I forgave him of his fault but ofcourse we are not back, we just ...
A. 22 January 2010: The truth is you haven't forgiven him yet. You're still working towards it. You can't just forgive someone. Maybe you feel like you've had no closure? You just have to keep on working through these emotions. Make sure you're meeting people, keeping ... (read in full...)
Question to the male aunts...
Q. How many men could accept the fact that they are returning to a relationship to which they feel that their wife has been with someone more manly than themselves while separated, even though their spouse may have changed things about themselves for ...
A. 22 January 2010: I've never been in this situation. I am a believer that ex's should be left in the past. They're an ex for a reason. Insecure men can become jealous though, and many might feel undermined if they think a woman has been with a stronger man, or a more ... (read in full...)
Should I try to fix this... and if so how?
Q. I'm not sure how to go about fixing things in my relationsip or if to fix them at all. A small back story, we met a year ago and have been in a commited relationship since. In August he moved in with me and my children, everything was fine until h...
A. 22 January 2010: No, don't fix it. He's not actually taking one bit of interest in who you are as a person. He's just controlling you and trying to change you into someone he can take along as a trophy. A man who won't let you express yourself isn't worth the time. ... (read in full...)
I just want to experience being in a relationship and being loved...
Q. Hey i need some advice Every time someone fancies me i go off of them and also when i go out with someone it is the same. i just cant seem to become attracted to a person. ARGH someone please help i have been single for ages and i seem to be happi...
A. 22 January 2010: The reason you're going off them or when they go off you if because they're not the person for you. You will be loved, very much, when you've found the right guy. So take your time getting to know a man, be picky so you don't end up with an idiot, ... (read in full...)
Should I have sex with another man to make my husband happy?
Q. We are a happily married couple with a healthy sex life. My husband has mentioned during almost every love making session that he would want me to have sex with another man. He expresses an interest in threesomes (DP), watching me have sex with ...
A. 22 January 2010: Many couples have made the mistake of doing this, thinking they can handle it. What happens if you really like the other guy and start and affair? What happens if your husband actually realizes he doesn't like it? This might be something better left ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my parents I got a tatoo?
Q. hey guys just a little question, how can i tell my parents i got a tattoo?? its only a small one on my back and i am of age to get a tattoo, its not against the rules of my house to get one, i live at home and recently got my ears pierced my dad ...
A. 22 January 2010: Just tell them. You're an adult. I suspect this is more about your Dad not wanting to accept his little girl is growing up. It's not big deal. Just tell your mum first and then you're Dad. ... (read in full...)
Should I continue to see my friend's ex because I feel happy and good with him, or should I ignore the feelings of my heart and end this before I ruin a friendship?
Q. So there is this guy who is really cool and awesome to me. He has me get over this one guy who has been stringing me along for months. He's sweet to me and cares about me and I forgot what that feels like. We can chill and talk and laugh ...
A. 22 January 2010: To be honest, she might not take it well, but she cheated on him. In my book, that's fair game. If she couldn't treat him well, and you can and you and he get on so well, I say go for it. It's not like he hurt her. ... (read in full...)
Does she want a relationship or not?
Q. about two months ago, i went out with this girl for few weeks (btw we're both 19) and it seemed to be going well until she told me she 'wasn't ready for a relationship'. so we broke up and sort of drifted apart and stopped speaking. then suddenly, i ...
A. 22 January 2010: Maybe she just wants to get to know you more before making any kind of real commitment to you. She could have been hurt in the past. It's worth going out with her for this drink and just getting to know her. See where it leads.... (read in full...)
He's my best friend, but I don't feel any love for him anymore. What should I do?
Q. Hi, I'm with my fiance for the last 3 yrs and everything was going okay...but never great. We never argue, we like the same things and i know he loves me very much. But i dont know if i love him as much as he does. I love him, but I'm not IN love ...
A. 22 January 2010: If you don't love him, you need to end it and cut all contact. There is never an easy way to do it, but you have to. However, before you do, think about what has changed? Maybe this is something that can be fixed with counselling?... (read in full...)
Should I let her back in my life?
Q. Hey. Heres the story... I have a friend lets call her *K* and we have been really close for just over 4 years. In september we moved up to college, and she was doing a diploma and i was doing A-levels. We didnt see each other as often but we still ...
A. 22 January 2010: When she saw you, she seemed happy to see you again. Your friend has clearly become a bit of a mess, so maybe she just needs a good friend like you in her life. You don't need to let her back all the way again, but she seems to like you, so it's ... (read in full...)
Wife hints at a threesome, should I surprise her one day or keep it as a fantasy?
Q. I have always been turned on with the idea of a MMF threesome with my wife. Not Bisexual in anyway, just for her. The other day we had a couple drinks and we started fooling around, the topic came up and she told me the type of guy she would wa...
A. 22 January 2010: Possibly not a good idea. Men and women have done this before, then wondered why the relationship has gone on to break down. Best kept as a fantasy
... (read in full...)
What is this pain I am experiencing?
Q. Hello Everybody. Well see i have this problem im getting a bigger tummy my taking in food are more than i use to eat. My husband calls my fatty but when we have sex i have pain in said its very painful When we do it deep its ver very painfull it ...
A. 22 January 2010: You should go the doctor. Some women have been pregnant before and have still had periods. And your symptoms sound like you might be pregnant. And even if it's not that, it's worth checking with the doctor to find out what is going on.... (read in full...)
Am I just fantasizing about other people due to boredom in this relationship?
Q. Ive been in a relationship for 13 months and it has been quite turbulent to put it politely. The guy im with i have been friends with for 4 years before we got together. I have recently stopped smoking cannabis after years of smoking it and i am ...
A. 22 January 2010: yes, basically. It's clear your boyfriend is utterly worthless if he's on drugs and isn't at least looking for a job. Leave. You can do better.... (read in full...)
He's unemployed, no career goals...what should I do here?
Q. I've been with a guy for four years. Before I met him I was completely obsessed with the thought of him. I finally actually got with him, and things started out good. We are exactly alike, and spend all our time together. We both really love each ...
A. 22 January 2010: End it. He's no good as a boyfriend. ... (read in full...)
Should I confess everything to my husband?
Q. i am a wife n a mother. i have been married for the last 5yrs. my husband has gone for offshore job for 2-3 months. last sunday i had sex with my brother-in-law. from that time i am really feeling guilty. should i confess everything to my husband?...
A. 22 January 2010: He won't have forgiven you that quickly. He might start to become angrier as time goes on. So just be aware of that, and make sure you give him a huge amount of reassurance. ... (read in full...)
Is It Friends with Benifets?
Q. i broke up with my boyfriend about 2 months ago( lets call him Bitch-stewie) because i thought he had cheated on me.... so we just stayed as friends( so idk why but we were talking like we used to when we were going out, like playing flirting you ...
A. 22 January 2010: Leave Bitch Stewie in the past. He's using you. You can do better. ... (read in full...)
Are we over for good? He says he loves me but then he says he shouldn't see me anymore!
Q. hi I have been seeing a man for around 18months. We are both in our 40's I supported him last year when he was made redundant by letting him live with me, until he found a place to rent and a job. He now has a managers job. I have never met ...
A. 22 January 2010: He says he loves you, but his actions say differently. Always measure a man by his actions.... (read in full...)
I havent heard from my boyfriend since New Years Eve, what should I do?
Q. l am a 23 year year old. have been dating my boyfriend for a year now.he is 27. he has gone all quite. we were suppose to meet on new year eve to go to a party. he called saying he was coming but never showed up. he didn't even text a message ...
A. 22 January 2010: Phone his brother again and ask what's happened. It sounds to me like your boyfriend couldn't dump you to your face so just left you. Check with his brother, then leave him.... (read in full...)
How do I move on from everything that has happened? I'm 32 and feel like I have nothing!
Q. Please help, I know that your think I am a fool after reading this and I know I am, at 32 I shouldn’t have wasted my life, I now have nothing, but I really need advice. Please. I am so sorry it is so long. Ok, so met guy, fall for each other...
A. 22 January 2010: He was not your chance. He was the nightmare every Dad on on earth hopes their daughter won't fall for. Unfortunately, you did. A married man cheating very rarely leaves his wife for the mistress. And this is the case here. He promised you all that, ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend being childish by hanging up on me?
Q. why is it that when my boyfriend of 3 years hangs up on me when he does not like hearing what I have to say he doesnt talk to me for a couple of days. Is this childish or isnt it. Hes had a bad very bad marriage. thank you. ...
A. 22 January 2010: I think you'll find this is the reason he had a bad marriage. His poor wife probably had to fight against this brick wall. If he can't and won't listen, then he's not worth your time.... (read in full...)
Should I just be her friend for now? I don't want to get stuck in "friends zone" though.
Q. i went on a first date with this girl, and we had a great time, she admitted it was a great time. She lives a little far away so we cant see each other a whole lot but we txt each other everyday and i make her laugh alot. but she told me after our ...
A. 22 January 2010: You may not, as long as you're not too 'good' a friend. Text her every few days, instead of every day. Offer to meet up just for a coffee 'sometimes', like once in a few weeks. If you come on too fast, she'll likely back away, but if you're just ... (read in full...)
I cant help but think she is cheating on me, what should I do?
Q. Hey, Me and my fiance have been together for about three and a half years. Over the past few months I have noticed that she has been keeping her phone with her at all times even when we are at home. If it is not with her she has deleted her text...
A. 22 January 2010: Hmm. To be meeting with him on your money but not allow you to talk to him is a bit suspicious. She may not be cheating yet, but she might be looking at the possibility. Sadly, you need to wait it out and see what happens. If something does, there ... (read in full...)
How exactly do I have phone sex?
Q. Okay my problem is my long distance girlfriend and I have been having cybersex for a while now. Well now shes Wanting to move on to Phone sex she says cyber is good and all its just she can't hear my voice she wants to hear my moans as im getting ...
A. 22 January 2010: Phone sex is the same. Just describe what you're doing, and moan sometimes. Moaning is apparently a turn on for women, so just relax and do pretty much the same as you were on the computer.... (read in full...)
She said she wants to take things slow, then she invites me on holiday with her!
Q. Hello All, I recently started dating a girl, we have grown close but she said she wants to be just friends then move on when shes fully over a previous relationship. Fair enough, I'm not eager for a relationship and thats cool. Anyway today ...
A. 22 January 2010: It depends what she wants to do on holiday. She's taking you along with her family, I guess to see what their reaction is to you, and to get to know you more. A holiday with her is actually a good idea, because in many ways you will see to an extent ... (read in full...)
Should I confess everything to my husband?
Q. i am a wife n a mother. i have been married for the last 5yrs. my husband has gone for offshore job for 2-3 months. last sunday i had sex with my brother-in-law. from that time i am really feeling guilty. should i confess everything to my husband?...
A. 20 January 2010: This stands to do more damage. Imagine how your husband will feel when he knows you cheated on him with his brother. He will be very hurt. Make it clear the your brother in law it will never happen again, never be alone with him and deal with your ... (read in full...)
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