| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
|
Should I confess everything to my husband?
Q. i am a wife n a mother. i have been married for the last 5yrs. my husband has gone for offshore job for 2-3 months. last sunday i had sex with my brother-in-law. from that time i am really feeling guilty. should i confess everything to my husband?...
A. 22 January 2010: He won't have forgiven you that quickly. He might start to become angrier as time goes on. So just be aware of that, and make sure you give him a huge amount of reassurance. ... (read in full...)
Can depression/stress cause you to be more aroused?
Q. my parents are going through a rough time at the moment and i think will eventually break up. my dads walked out twice but uses the house when mums at work. both times he's walked out its affected me pretty bad, (more noticable the second time) ive ...
A. 21 January 2010: Yes it can. It has done with me. ... (read in full...)
I want to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend but I cant trust him!
Q. I don't no wat to do! im really in love with my boyfriend and I want to be with him for the rest of my life, but I can not trust him. we been together for 4 and some years andd we had our ups and downs and stayed with him at those times. but now I ...
A. 21 January 2010: To be honest, this is a big red flag. This is a sign that he's not really committed to you. Watching porn is one thing, but receiving and sending pictures of yourself and another woman is a different thing. Too many people settle for others who ... (read in full...)
I need some impartial views on my situation!
Q. Hi Guys, I/we seriously need some help!!! A bit of background (some of you may find this familiar!) http://www.dearcupid.org/question/nothing-concrete-but-more-seems-to-be-going.html Anyway after a hell of a year last year, my husband and I ha...
A. 21 January 2010: If she won't pay, take her to court, drag her name in the mud. Also, tell her clearly if she continues to harass you and your husband, you will have a court injunction to keep her away. I'm a tradesman, so I know getting money out of people can be ... (read in full...)
I'm questioning the love of my boyfriend and I don't know why!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for two wonderful years, and I couldnt imagine life without him. The only problem is, when he left to go to start some schooling I was lonely and made-out with another man, nothing more than that. I felt ...
A. 21 January 2010: This is more about your guilt. It's not really behind you at all. You're still feeling it. Just keep focusing on your relationship and continue to build upon it, and you'll see that it will be okay.... (read in full...)
I don't know what to do about our problems in the bedroom department!
Q. I have been with my partner for 9 months, living together for 8 of those, I've found out lots of things about him that I couldn't have imagined, but I love him with all my heart and he loves me, my problem is that he doesn't make love to me, he did ...
A. 21 January 2010: There is a problem, and I suspect that he may be having erectile problems. For a man, that can be very depressing. Please dint think it's you. You need to be honesty with him though, and tell him that the lack of intimacy is now affecting your ... (read in full...)
Should I finish with him?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend in a long distance relationship for 2 years. He lives in Bulgaria and I am in the UK. We have always been planning for me to join him in Bulgaria and we decided once he had a steady job there and somewhere for us to ...
A. 21 January 2010: I think it's time to move on. He said that once he had a decent job and a place to live, you'd join him. So far he's failed to live up to that. How many other things will he not tell you about, or lie to you about. Move on. ... (read in full...)
Should I ask this girl out?
Q. im 13 and there is this girl in my school i like a lot and i think she likes me she always wants to talk to me and she hugs me all the time but i dont know what i sould do , she is mature (she reads thees books about vampires giving blowjobs and ...
A. 21 January 2010: Yes. Go for it. ... (read in full...)
What is the meaning of kisses on the end of text messages?
Q. So, I'm guessing all you guys and girls get "x" or "xx" or even a "xxx" after texting somebody you like or you care for i.e. mom, brother etc. The whole reason I'm here is because of a girl, I really like. I think she likes me because she flir...
A. 21 January 2010: She's either very friendly just with you, or she really does like you. Why don't you try talking to her and finding out. It's the only way to be sure. ... (read in full...)
Since I mentioned he needs to go to the fertility clinic he has started smoking cannabis and wont listen to my concerns!
Q. I am 27 years old, i am with a lad who is 26 i have been with him for two and a half years. i love him and want to have a child but we need to go to the fertility as he has had a illness in the past which could make him infertile but since i told ...
A. 21 January 2010: He isn't interested in having kids. Make a decision. Live with a man who doesn't listen, doesn't want kids and prefers cannabis, or move on. He's not ready and interested, and he wont' change. You need to be brave and make the right decision for ... (read in full...)
What should I do to help my friend's daughter?
Q. I had this friend who isn't being a good mother! She uses her welfare money to go shopping and clubbing instead of using it for her daughter! She sleeps with random guys and tells her daughter that's going to be her new "daddy!" every single ...
A. 21 January 2010: I know this will be hard for you, but there really is only one option, adn that's to call a child protection agency and tell them. The way this woman is going, she'll end up killing her daughter in an accident, or end up dead herself leaving her ... (read in full...)
How to deal with my boyfriend's anger issues?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and I'm in love with him but he has anger issues..he lost his dad when he was 5yrs old. He says that's why he's so mad all the time but he takes his anger out on me. Few weeks ago I spilt like a drop of ...
A. 21 January 2010: You need to leave this guy for your own safety. To threaten to hit you with a bottle is serious. If he has anger problems, he must sort them out first, and he must do it himself and he must do it alone. No matter how much you love someone, when ... (read in full...)
She's rude so how do I get back at her?
Q. hey one of my friends well not really friend... got my boyfriend number and texted him and told him things that weren't true so he broke up with me..he says would't have broken up with me if he hadnt heard that. so what should i do? i really want ...
A. 21 January 2010: You don't get back at her. You be mature and let her go on to be a sad case. She was jealous of you. You need to be mature and move on. Let them see you're better than them. ... (read in full...)
Do I have to look like a model to keep the sex alive?
Q. My husband does not seem to be attracted to me anymore.He does not say it ,but he never touching me or looks at me sexy... Now he is very polite guy, and kind.He is not rude with me, but I just see our sex life dead. I did put on weight over the ...
A. 21 January 2010: I would place all my money on the fact he loves you, but has perhaps seen that you have lost interest in him as well. So this is the wake up call your marriage needs. Tell him you feel that the relationship needs some work, and get going out on ... (read in full...)
He used me in order to make his ex jealous!
Q. i like this guy from same school but different class for 6months..i want to talk to him so badly,but don't know how to approach him naturally. one day he approach me and said he wants my number..i was so happy like crazy person.. so began conta...
A. 21 January 2010: You need to talk to him calmly. You're listening to your friends, who may not know all the facts, rather than him. ... (read in full...)
How do I convince him to have more kids?
Q. I am a 23 year old female in a relationship with a 33 year old divorced man. I live with him and we have discussed getting engaged this upcoming summer. My problem is, he already has 4 children from his previous marriage but I do not have any. How ...
A. 21 January 2010: All the girls here have given really good advice. I'll give you the male's point of view. He doesn't want any and you can't convince him to have more. That's it. I know you love this guy, but sadly if you marry with him, you'll either never have ... (read in full...)
She has a problem with my drinking!
Q. So last night i was drinking shots and i popped a couple of xanex pills to establish a buzz faster than useuall well i was having a good time, and i went to sleep.. well i wake up this morning, and everything in my room is broken, one of my walls is ...
A. 21 January 2010: You need professional help if you want to keep your girlfriend, who has told you she is terrified, and appears to have been beaten. To be honest, if she was here asking for advice, I would have to tell her to stay away for her own safety. I don't ... (read in full...)
Should I be the bigger person or ignore him?
Q. ok. so do i ignore this guy im tryin to get over or be the bigger person and say hi. two weeks ago me and him got into a big arguement over him callin me borin cause he tried to touch my leg and i pushed him extremely hard. in the past we have been ...
A. 21 January 2010: When a guy does something like this, it usually means he likes you, but is hurt and so in trying to get rid of his pain, he ten insults you. You wouldn't let him touch your leg (which was the right thing do to by the way), so he felt the best way to ... (read in full...)
Endometriosis Surgery Aftermath?
Q. Okay everyone, im an 18 year old female and i have a few questions to ask, theyre about my health. A few weeks ago the doctor found out that i have chronic endometriosis, a bad appendix, and a cyst on my uterus. I had surgery to have all this ...
A. 21 January 2010: I would hope very much that the pain you're experiencing is related to your recent surgery. However, the best thing you can do is go back to your doctor and have another check up.... (read in full...)
How can I be more confident around my maths teacher?
Q. Okay i need help, i have this problem that is bothering me a lot, okay here goes, so i like my maths teacher and when he looks or comes over to me i go all red, and i find it really embarrassing, i keep saying things in my head when hes around to ...
A. 20 January 2010: All you need to focus on is that he is a teacher with a wife and kids, and you're a student. Also, speak to more guys your own age. I don't mean to date, but just so you get used to be around guys so you can understand us a bit more. ... (read in full...)
I don't know what I'm doing wrong but I've never been kissed by a girl... Help!
Q. Hey I'm 17 years old and I'm a junior in high school. I have never kissed a girl nor have I had a girlfriend. I have no self confidence in myself even though girls tell me I'm cute. I am puerto rican and have guido spiky hair and am 5' 8''. Most of ...
A. 20 January 2010: You're not doing anything wrong. It's not uncommon. You could do to have a bit more confidence in yourself. Girls like a confident guy. The especially like a confident guy who listens like you do.... (read in full...)
How can I tell her I would love to date her?
Q. So i used to be really good friends with this girl, we were the best of friends, we'd talk on the phone every day for hours, would talk on msn all the time and always text each other. I guess through all that i liked her but she always seemed to ...
A. 20 January 2010: All you can do is tell her how you feel. Tell her you fancy her and would love to get to know her even more. You have nothing to lose by trying.... (read in full...)
Is this girl he loves ME?
Q. right i need some help now I have been having a bit of trouble. my ex and me always go back to each other and tell each other that we love each other but we haven`t in a few weeks now. but he has recently put lots of stuff on his facebook to do w...
A. 20 January 2010: You're not meant to be sweetie. That's why it's not working out. You need to be brave and move on from him. A lot of men and women have wasted time on relationships that aren't working because they think they're meant to be. Fact is, you can't stay ... (read in full...)
He's supposed to visit me in March and suddenly asks for "a break"? What's going on?
Q. I've known him since April 2009. Well, we used to know each other when we were kids, but then he moved away and neither of us cared cause we didn't used to like each other. He's 24, I'm 22. Either way, we've been dating for 7 months. He's in the ...
A. 20 January 2010: Guys don't talk about emotions for a lot of reasons. The biggest reason is that unlike women, when we talk about how we feel we don't really feel much better. But if action is needed, that's where we really respond. That's why when a man is upset, ... (read in full...)
How do I break the big heave ho to him... gently?
Q. Hiya, I really need help! I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years, I love him very much, but I don't think I'm in love with him anymore. We met in college, when we were 16/17 and everything was great until about 5 months ago. We have bot...
A. 20 January 2010: There is only ever one way to do it and that's to be honest, clear and calm. You have to take him aside, and just tell him that because of all those factors you have listed above, your relationship has come to an end and you need to move on. This ... (read in full...)
He's supposed to visit me in March and suddenly asks for "a break"? What's going on?
Q. I've known him since April 2009. Well, we used to know each other when we were kids, but then he moved away and neither of us cared cause we didn't used to like each other. He's 24, I'm 22. Either way, we've been dating for 7 months. He's in the ...
A. 20 January 2010: I think you need to tell him that unless he wants this to work, it will end because you will have to move on. You will be able to tell from his reaction whether he wants it to end or not. Or you can always come back here for more advice.... (read in full...)
My best friend is confusing me about our friendship!
Q. My best friend is confusing me about our friendship! It seems like he’s into me and then he’s not? These are the good and bad things he does: Good: • Smiles at me and stares a lot • He always smiles when I touch him • If I make fun of him he just...
A. 20 January 2010: Yes, men are very good at giving mixed signals as well as women. I suspect he fancies you, but is so shy he just can't admit it, or is confused by your signals as well. He certainly likes you. Whether you want to take it further is up to you.... (read in full...)
A question for men on attraction...
Q. This is a question for men. Have you ever found yourself attracted to women that you may not have been attracted to when you first met. Or is the determination set from the moment you meet....
A. 20 January 2010: I've always been attracted to a woman I truly like when I've met her. And it's not happened often, so I'm not totally shallow or anything like that. If I meet her and get to know her, I usually know quickly whether I want to get to know her more or ... (read in full...)
He hurt me on purpose... but I still can't get over him. Help!
Q. I used to go out with this guy just over a year ago for 2 weeks, but I broke up with him because there were no feelings from my side. I didn't want to lead him on to like me even more and then get him hurt even more in the future so I left without ...
A. 20 January 2010: When a guy hurts you like this on purpose, he's just not worth it. A boyfriend is supposed to be in your life for good reasons. And sometimes there will be arguments. But a boyfriend isn't supposed to deliberately hurt you. He's not worthy of you. ... (read in full...)
What should I do about this married man setup I have?
Q. hi everyone! my ugly situation that im facing right now is that im 24 and im dating this married man that is suppossely 34 but, only God knows if he is telling me the truth or not. i have known this man since Sept of 2009 he was a trainer at the gym ...
A. 20 January 2010: Of course all he wants to do is have sex and use you. He doesn't care about you, he just wants the sex. There is only one solution, and that's to end it. You're just being used by a married man who us lying to his wife and you about how he really ... (read in full...)
If she slept with him while we were all living together I could never forgive...
Q. i have two friends, a girl and a guy. i fell in love with the girl years ago, recently i told her how i felt but she only wants to stay friends. i've suspected the two friends had been together before we were due to go travelling (via an accidental ...
A. 20 January 2010: She's your friend, not your girlfriend. There's nothing to forgive because she hasn't cheated on you and made her feelings clear. The truth is something probably did happen. But why are you going to break up this friendship when she hasn't done ... (read in full...)
Should I confess everything to my husband?
Q. i am a wife n a mother. i have been married for the last 5yrs. my husband has gone for offshore job for 2-3 months. last sunday i had sex with my brother-in-law. from that time i am really feeling guilty. should i confess everything to my husband?...
A. 20 January 2010: This stands to do more damage. Imagine how your husband will feel when he knows you cheated on him with his brother. He will be very hurt. Make it clear the your brother in law it will never happen again, never be alone with him and deal with your ... (read in full...)
I'm 18 wks pregnant and my BF is still trying to get me to have an abortion or miscarriage.
Q. hi i am 18 years old im 18 weeks pregnant and my boyfriend of 2 yrs is still trying to get me to have an abortion or a miscarriage he said if i love him i would do that for me. mind you dat 1yr ago i had an abortion of havin 2twins 1girl n1 boii - ...
A. 20 January 2010: This guy just doesn't care about you at all, and if he's playing mind games on you like this, you need to be away from him for your sake and the baby's. You have a good family and some good friends who want to help you, so let them. Just make sure ... (read in full...)
I'm burned out! He hits me, chokes me, and flirts and blames it on his drinking.
Q. I am so sad and confused. I live with Bill and he tells me all the time he loves me but he hits me in the head, chokes me and when we go out he flirts with other females in front of me. One female said he wanted to have sex with her. Bill blames his ...
A. 20 January 2010: Leave him. Look at the facts. You pay the rent and bills, while he drinks, hits you, chokes you, flirts with other women. He's using you because your confidence is so low you'll take it. You need to take a big step forward and leave this man. ... (read in full...)
How can a girl ask a guy out without looking stupid?
Q. Hello everyone, I want to know how a girl can ask a boy out without looking stupid? (I'm talking about a shy guy here!)...
A. 20 January 2010: Take him aside privately, and just ask nicely if he would like to go out with you. You need to be direct with a shy guy.... (read in full...)
After 4 months of marriage, my husband is no longer physically attracted to me...
Q. My husband and I met almost three years ago. At first the sex was amazing; he was insatiable and couldn't get enough of me. After three months though, he stopped wanting me. I tried lingerie, candles, everything I could think of and yet we still ...
A. 20 January 2010: This isn't a good sign. He's got you married now, and his somewhat controlling ways are starting to sneak in. I think you and him need to have another talk. Don't be bullied.... (read in full...)
We have a good connection, so why hasn't he asked me out yet?
Q. I have been chatting to a guy online, text, phone and went out last Sat. We got on really well and he text me afterwards to say he had a great time. He then rang me two nights later and we chatted for about an hour. But he hasn't yet suggested going ...
A. 20 January 2010: Maybe he was waiting for you to suggest going out. Just because a man phones and speaks to you doesn't mean he's not shy. He said he had a great time, and he phoned you two nights later which means he is interested. Why don't you ask him?... (read in full...)
My angry feelings towards my teacher are coming back after he announced that he's leaving.
Q. Hello, I need some advice on my current feelings because they are getting me down, It sounds extermly stupid, but I am currently doing my A2 levels and am studying ICT, and my teacher got married last xmas and i was strangely jealous and thought ...
A. 20 January 2010: Maybe you have a crush on him, and all this has just awoken your feelings?... (read in full...)
I found a girl's hair on a cup in my BF's house. Do I have a right to doubt?
Q. i was over my boyfriend's place , and i found a girl's hair attached or clinging to one of the cups on the table , it got attached with some juice , because it was left for a day or two, my boy friend previously told me that he had friends over ...
A. 20 January 2010: One hair? I don't think you need to worry. Has he given you any other reason to doubt him at all? ... (read in full...)
He's supposed to visit me in March and suddenly asks for "a break"? What's going on?
Q. I've known him since April 2009. Well, we used to know each other when we were kids, but then he moved away and neither of us cared cause we didn't used to like each other. He's 24, I'm 22. Either way, we've been dating for 7 months. He's in the ...
A. 20 January 2010: To be honest, this sounds like it's coming to an end. LDR's are very hard to maintain, and unless both people are totally committed, they won't work. He just isn't committed enough, and it could even be that he's met someone else. I think it might ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of being ignored. Is there anything I can do or say to him?
Q. Hello, i need some advice. I have been living with my partner for nearly 3 years now. I do love him and he says that he loves me but rarely shows it. There is a 21 year age gap between us though i have never noticed it. My problem is that ...
A. 20 January 2010: No, there isn't. Measure the man in your life by his actions, not his words. He's telling you he loves you, but he never shows it. The only time he shows it is to keep you on a leash when you're about to leave. You sound more like a slave than a ... (read in full...)
Did I make the right choice by cutting my losses and moving on?
Q. I am 51 years old and seperated 2 years going through divorce. I became involved with a 49 year old widower. In June of last year. His wife was my friend who died one month earlier. I was extremely reluctant but he pursued me relentlessy with gifts ...
A. 20 January 2010: I think you did. Clearly he wasn't ready for a relationship with someone else, though he thought he was. I'm sorry to say that I think you were more of a rebound to help him through his difficult times. Focus on your own life, and don't give up on ... (read in full...)
| *aringGuy's friends
These are mutual friends, so *aringGuy has
added them and they have added *aringGuy!
|
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png){kind=small}
