| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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If his siblings are being nice to me, does that mean that my BF is talking to them about me?
Q. Does a guy talk about you to his siblings if they are being nicer to you? I have both as a friend on Facebook and his sister sends me best friend things even though I met her once. His brother I've hungout with twice he loves hanging out with me and ...
A. 27 January 2010: Sorry, thought he was. Well that most likely means he likes you and has spoken to them about you, bit is maybe a little shy. :). So you could try talking to him if you like. ... (read in full...)
Did not want him, until he had someone else!
Q. I have a friend that has this friend that she talks to on the phone and go out sometimes. Her friend has asked her many times to become his girlfriend, and she always said no, and she would tell him how she never felt nothing for him, that he was as ...
A. 26 January 2010: She had her chance and blew it. He's moved on. This isn't actually about her fancying him, it's that she was happy to have his attention and now misses it. Truth is she just wants what she can't have. As her friend, help her get over him. Don't ... (read in full...)
She blames me for having HPV.
Q. So this is kind of a unique situation...My ex girlfriend who I love with all my heart had cancer a few years back and it was very intense for her life and overall emotional state. It is something she would never want to go through again. Initially ...
A. 26 January 2010: You are the victim of poor circumstance, and she has clearly had a big shock on her life. Trouble is, she blamed you, and even when you've been tested is still holding it against you. I know it was difficult for her, but clearly you are better ... (read in full...)
Why is he not turning me on?
Q. am dating this guy i thought he was really great but now am not soo sure. hes a rich kid at uni.. and very good looking..but when we kiss he doesn't turn me on and i dont know why. on face book, all his friends are girls..they give him...
A. 26 January 2010: Now you know what he is. He's a rich kid who just goes around using women at his pleasure Except you now know it and it's killed your feelings for him. Get rid of him. You can do better.... (read in full...)
How do I get out of this sad, draining relationship?
Q. i am 28 and he is 35, the problem is we are always fighting as a result am so drained and dont think the relationship is going anywhere, i want out but he doesnt, we promised each other to change but nothing works.I tried everything to make this ...
A. 26 January 2010: I think you need to just tell him it's over. Make sure your family and friends know beforehand so you have someone to talk to, then sit your boyfriend down and tell him it's over. All you can do is be honest. ... (read in full...)
Just wondering if there are any good dream decoders out there?
Q. Hi, just wondering if there are any good dream decoders out there? Me and my boyfriend split up a few weeks ago and after I had found out it was because he left me for another woman I cut all ties between us and burnt a bridge so to speak. Any...
A. 26 January 2010: I would think that all the spelling mistakes show how much you misunderstand why he left you. Maybe there were things that you never had the chance to say, or maybe it shows how misunderstood you really feel. ... (read in full...)
Is she right for me?
Q. I have been with my partner for 5 years and we have been through everything together. I love her dearly but i am scared that my life as i have known it is completely changing and will change forever to suit her values and not mine.We want to be able ...
A. 26 January 2010: You have to realize there is no one who is 'perfect'. If she's a city girl, she will be used to work work work. I think you should speak to her again, and just tell her that you feel a bit unappreciated sometimes, and that you wish she could open up ... (read in full...)
While we have been having troubles in the bedroom, he has been secretly asking girls to meet up with him for sex online!
Q. I really need some help and advice. Have what I thought to be a good relationship with my boyfriend, but obviously I don't. He has had some trouble recently in the bedroom (don't need to say anymore) and I have been supportive and reassuring d...
A. 26 January 2010: I'm really sorry. You must get tested for STD', which is confidential. Whether you fix this is up to you. Personally, I don't think I could. ... (read in full...)
Will I ever be able to save our relationship and myself from this horrible mistake?
Q. I have made the worst mistake of my life. I cheated on the love of my life. We have been together for 3 years and married for 6 months. I feel so guilty. Especially since in the beginning of our relationship we went to therapy because I caught h...
A. 26 January 2010: I'm sad to say that this really doesn't look good for your marriage at all. However, it's something that if you want to fix, you can. The moment he was away you felt so lonely that you had a fling. That says to me that you're not going to be able to ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm living with a stranger in the house, so I have turned to online affairs so I can live a fantasy of my own!
Q. Been married for 3 years - we met over the internet and I flew half way across the world to be with him. We got married and have a child (an infant). However, it's been weird between us. We do argue a lot - however, we always seem to be very formal ...
A. 26 January 2010: You're going to walk into a huge mess if you don't end this now. You are cheating. You've met these guys and made out. that's cheating. You need to end contact with these guys and really focus on your marriage again. You say you don't want to leave ... (read in full...)
While we have been having troubles in the bedroom, he has been secretly asking girls to meet up with him for sex online!
Q. I really need some help and advice. Have what I thought to be a good relationship with my boyfriend, but obviously I don't. He has had some trouble recently in the bedroom (don't need to say anymore) and I have been supportive and reassuring d...
A. 26 January 2010: This is more likely to be the cause of the problem. Don't make any decision until he's spoken to you. This is serious, because you don't know whether he's met these women or not as well. He has got to talk to you about it and be honest. If he gets ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling confused about our relationship: I like having him around but I cant deal with his mood swings!
Q. Hi I have been seeing my b/f for around 15 months. In that time he has been moody at times (as most people can be). Last week though, after booking a short break abroad he rang the next day to say cancel as he was feeling unhappy in himse...
A. 26 January 2010: The dizziness is a bit worrying. I think he should go and see a doctor. Sometimes illness can make people act like this. And even if it's not that, he clearly has something on his mind that needs to be dealt with. ... (read in full...)
Why did he cum so fast? And why am I missing him so much?
Q. Hi i would like to ask you guys for some help. The issue that i have is love related. Il try and cut the story short. I have been going out with this guy for nearly 2 months. How the relationship started was extremely strange. I didnt know th...
A. 26 January 2010: 1). It's not your fault he came quickly. You didn't do anything wrong. He was just very turned on. Next time, make sure he does spend time on you, guide him to what you want him to do. You did nothing wrong.
2). You miss him because he's swept you ... (read in full...)
My online guy already has a girlfriend, what should I do before we get any closer?
Q. Dear All, I am getting divorced from my husband (our marriage was dead for a long time, this is only making it formal) and broke up with my boy friend of 3 years . I have been single for close to a year. Now there is this guy whom I met on facebo...
A. 26 January 2010: End it immediately. He's lying to you and using you. You deserve a good man in your life, not a lying cheat. He's not even your boyfriend and he's already having a controlling effect on you. End it now.... (read in full...)
If his siblings are being nice to me, does that mean that my BF is talking to them about me?
Q. Does a guy talk about you to his siblings if they are being nicer to you? I have both as a friend on Facebook and his sister sends me best friend things even though I met her once. His brother I've hungout with twice he loves hanging out with me and ...
A. 26 January 2010: Because you mean a lot to their brother and they want to know you. They do like you. That's a really great thing. Get to know them more. And yes your boyfriend will be talking to them about you. ... (read in full...)
My ex cheated on his pregnant girl with me!
Q. Hiya everyone, Ok i now this sounds really wrong but im best friends with my ex bf, His gf is pregnent, and went in2 hospital last yesterday to be induced anyway he got sent home as no baby, and he rang me up and asked if i could get him some foo...
A. 26 January 2010: Well you've just become the walking female cliché. He used you for sex, and will continue to do so. Say goodbye and end contact. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend thinks making out is horrible. Can people have a relationship without kissing?
Q. my girl friend said she thinks making out is horrible and i asked her if she really thought this because i was going to before she said it. is it normal for people to have relationships without any kissing?...
A. 26 January 2010: She needs to open up to you. There might be a good reason for her not kissing. She could have been hurt and abused or something. To have a good relationship, you need to be emotionally and physically close. You need to talk to her gently about it. ... (read in full...)
Help! I have a crush on my boyfriend's younger brother!
Q. Dear Cupid, I have a silly, on-going crush on my boyfriend's younger brother. He doesn't know, and I'd NEVER tell him or do anything - but I secretly fantasize about him, and I always have dreams about him if I've seen him during the day. ...
A. 26 January 2010: First of all you need to focus on your own relationship. Something is missing if you're looking at the brother. So take a look at the relationship and work on that. Maybe you're looking for excitement, or maybe you could even get your boyfriend to ... (read in full...)
Can you be friends with an ex?
Q. Nothing's stranger than breaking up with someone you've known for a long time. Why is it that your new partner has issues with you still being friends with an ex? see someone every day and then suddenly stop all contact... it's unnatural. i ha...
A. 26 January 2010: Not really. Imagine if the table were turned and he was getting calls and having lots of fun with his ex. You wouldn't be happy, you'd feel threatened, and that's how he feels about this. Every time you get on the phone to your ex, speak with him, ... (read in full...)
I went too far with him on our first date, now I am worried if it made him think less of me
Q. Hello guys!! I have a question: I went out on a date with a guy I met at my college. At first I didn't even want to go out with him although i liked hiom because I had a huge crush on someone else. But when we went out I had an amazing time with...
A. 26 January 2010: Just play a bit harder to get next time. Make sure you both get to know each other. If he suddenly turns and runs or something, then he wasn't good enough in the first place.... (read in full...)
I thought my feet were firmly planted on the ground and then ... I fell in love
Q. I am a college student (sophomore in my undergrad). I'm 18 going on 19 this year, and I am extremely mature, proffessional, and intelligent for my age. i'm level headed and care about my future a lot. I'm not trying to sound cocky here at all, just ...
A. 26 January 2010: Sadly you can't touch him because he's a teacher and in a place of trust. Wait until you've graduated before you say anything. Also, so discount guys your own age because they don't seem mature. Some of us are. So spend time getting to know other ... (read in full...)
I keep questioning my boyfriend about his feelings for me
Q. so my boyfriend who is 21 and i(17)been dating for 11 months now. we haven't had sex. I feel like he might be cheating on me or has lost interest in me. we live 3 hrs away and he comes to my house every weekend, we are on the phone every night till ...
A. 26 January 2010: This clearly isn't working. Whether he's cheating or not isn't the issue. The issue is that because you both live so far apart, you have no trust. A relationship like this can't go on. You would be better off moving on now.... (read in full...)
This girl is driving me crazy!
Q. She teases me (makes fun of me). Whenever I talk to her she gets really loud like if I make fun of her she pretends to get mad (she almost hit me!). She's not a loud/flirty person at all and kinda shy. We usually don't talk (usually shes th...
A. 26 January 2010: Ask her out already!... (read in full...)
Trapped into marriage and wanting to get out
Q. Hi im a 31yr old man who is going through the hardest time of my life at the moment,these are my problems. 9yrs ago i finished my apprentiship and had enough cash to head overseas. At this stage i meet a girl that i was very clear to about my plans ...
A. 26 January 2010: I don't think your feelings are wrong. I think she went out of her way to get pregnant, then clearly used you and then cheated on you with your friend. And now she's made your life a hell. You're not alone though. A lot of men are in this kind of ... (read in full...)
We are constantly at loggerheads and I don't know how to fix it!
Q. if its not one problem its another!!! agian me and my husband are in a crunch... he says i dont treat him with respect and i say he doesn't treat me like the women i am... lol....how can i make our relationship better so we are closer and so i am ...
A. 26 January 2010: The problem here is communication. Or lack of it. He says one thing, so you say another, then he says something etc. You just need to sit down with him and ask him what he wants you to do, then ask him do do things for you. ... (read in full...)
I was caught in a compromising situation at midnight by the police
Q. me and my partner got caught with our tops off kissing in a car park at midnight by the police. I have never done anything like this and probs wont again. The police man took my name and done a check and then left...will that be the end of ...
A. 26 January 2010: I would have thought that would have been the end of it. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend doesn't touch me ..............
Q. how can i get my boyfriend to touch me.i wonder if he is cheating on me and am i teh problem...
A. 26 January 2010: You need to talk to him. There's not enough information to tell whether or not he's cheating. It could be that he's depressed or something like that.... (read in full...)
Obsessed with my wife's past...
Q. I have been married to my wife for 14 years,we have three children and on the whole we are happy. I was 19 when i met my wife and she was 23 and we got married two years later. Before i met her i'd only slept with one other woman and my wife tells ...
A. 26 January 2010: You have to realize that the woman you married is like she is now because of her past. You love this woman, because her past made her who she is. You might need to go and see a counsellor, because the more you do this, the more likely it is your ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant but I don't know if its my b/f's baby or my ex's baby
Q. OKay i had unprotected sex with my ex boyfriend dec24 and a couple days before that too.. then i had sex with him again on Jan 1st (unprotected) he ejaculates in me all the time.. then i was with this one boy on jan 5 i let him put his tip almost in ...
A. 26 January 2010: It's most likely your ex's. You'll need a DNA test, and you'll need to tell each guy about this, because if you don't you'll be in even more trouble further on down the line.... (read in full...)
She reads old sexual emails from past boyfriends and says I have no reason to be upset. What do you think?
Q. I've been dating my girlfriend for almost two years now, and for most of that time I've known she finds sexual literature a huge turn-on. I don't have any problem with her buying sexy fiction to read, but some time ago she started looking up erotic ...
A. 26 January 2010: I'm not sure you are. I get the erotic stories, that's like a man watching porn. But her looking at old emails from ex's is like you looking at old pictures of your girlfriends naked or something. Put it to her that way and see what she says. If she ... (read in full...)
My wife has cheated on me but I want to save our marriage
Q. My wife left me last year. We were together for 5 years married for 3 years. At that time I had nine months of college left. I worked hard in school and my job for her and our two kids. She didn't live with me where I am attending school because ...
A. 26 January 2010: I wonder if you working so hard on school and work that she just felt neglected and lonely. I'm not trying to blame you here, because she really has no excuse. I'm just trying to find a reason as to why she would act this way. Tell her you're ... (read in full...)
I really like him a lot and want to make him like me back
Q. Ok , so , first of all , i just wanna thank this website and all the people that take the time and amswer questions!!! :) so this may take a bit of explaining , ;) theres this guy that ive had a thing for , for a realyy long time, and i never used...
A. 26 January 2010: Keep getting to know him more, so you understand him a bit more, and so he can get to know you. Then ask him. That's the only way to be sure about how he feels.... (read in full...)
Do I worry too much about breast size?
Q. Moderator's Note: link to website removed. I recent found a site where some douche tries selling a PDF manual to convince a wife or girlfriend to get implants. I mean, not all guys are like that obviously, but do really most of them wish their pa...
A. 26 January 2010: You're worrying far too much. When a guy truly loves you, he just loves you as you are. Fake breasts are fake and that's it. So love yourself as you are. ... (read in full...)
I met a guy online, we met up, we stayed in touch, now he is too busy?
Q. I met a guy online. We talked back and forth for about a month through emails, texts, and on the phone before we met in person. The first date was awesome. We both felt that instant connection with each other. We then had a second date and it ...
A. 26 January 2010: Move on. When a man suddenly starts saying he's to busy, things just aren't going anywhere.... (read in full...)
I want my ex back in my life ...............
Q. I'm wondering whats up.My ex and I hung out. Everything was super good - no awkwardness, we laughed alot/flirted and yet nothing came of it.I thought atleast friends..but I havent heard from him much.Then I thought maybe he just wanted to fool ...
A. 26 January 2010: Be very careful. Though you want him in your life, you're walking into a huge mess. If his life is a mess currently, then this relationship won't go anywhere, because he'll de depressed and not put effort in, then you'll end up resenting it, then ... (read in full...)
I can't get my b/f to orgasm
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for about 4 months now. We've gotten to fingering/handjobs, but I have a problem. I haven't ever given handjobs before, and I seem to be really bad at it because I can't get him to come. He can always get me, and I'm ...
A. 26 January 2010: Ask him what he likes. That's the best thing to do. ... (read in full...)
How do I protect myself and my baby?
Q. My ex and I were together for three years and I thought we had a really strong bond. We had a daughter about a year ago. He told me I would never have to work, that we could live wherever I wanted in the world, that he would provide for me. He told ...
A. 26 January 2010: I think though this is very sad, you're making the best possible decision you can. First of all, even if he did make a challenge, it is highly unlikely he would be granted access to see your child because of his past. Secondly, the best way to find ... (read in full...)
I think she likes me but I'm not sure
Q. Hello im 13 and there is this girl in my school that im preety sure likes me she hugs me all the time and today after school she ran and jumped at me and an rapped he legs around my waist how do i nkow for sure that she likes me and should i ask her ...
A. 26 January 2010: You don't know completely for sure, but all signs certainly point to yes. The only real way of finding out is to just ask her. So yes, ask her to the dance and tell her you like her and would like to get to know her more.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend spends a lot of time just thinking ......
Q. Me and girlfriend been dating for couple weeks now, well it is going good by far. She been thinking a lot about stuff like us and she always seem to be down. What can she possibly thinking about? I don't know, it kinda bothers me... What can ...
A. 26 January 2010: Gently you need to find out what it is. Chances are there is one thing one her mind that is causing her to worry about a lot of things. She could be having problems at home, problems with friends, problems with school, or she could just be feeling ... (read in full...)
His friends staying over is affecting my sex drive.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years and have been living together for 3 years. Almost everyday his friends or his brother come over and play either madden or Modern Warfare 2 until late at night and one of his friends ends up sleeping ...
A. 26 January 2010: You tried being nice and you hinted about it. Now be direct. Tell him straight that it is not fair that he has his friends over all the time and you won't put up with it because it's affecting your relationship. If he still persists, then he isn't ... (read in full...)
WIll he 'grow up' without my intervention?
Q. Hi!!! I have been with my boyfriend for about 3 years and a half and I am 18 now, and he just turned 20. I know that he loves me and I love him too. There is only one problem... I am afraid for our future. I know that I am young but I am ve...
A. 26 January 2010: This is a bad sign. Quitting a job because you want to get a different one is one thing. Quitting a job because it's 'too hard on his body' and then sitting around is another. He doesn't sound all that reliable. A guy won#t change unless he wants to ... (read in full...)
Even though we used protection I am paranoid now about being pregnant
Q. Well ok I'm 22 years old. Last time my period ended was on December 25. I lost my virginity on the 7 of January. my boyfriend and me had sex three days in a row.. but every single time we used a condom we even checked before and after condoms ...
A. 26 January 2010: It might be a good idea for you to go on the contraceptive pill as well as using condoms, that way you're even more protected.... (read in full...)
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