| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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What do his actions mean in guy terms?
Q. I'm On a break with my ex boyfriend. He wanted the break because he couldn't handle a gf and wanted to get back on his feet, which is ok i guess. But Im getting confused he says he wants me and he wants back together again. last Saturday we hung out ...
A. 28 January 2010: So he can continue to use you.... (read in full...)
Help! Why are his friends like this?
Q. Hey everyone.... I have a partner for quite some time.... I need your input about his friends.... even before we got together and had my housewarming his mates ignored me... even though we were housemates... went out for dinner they shut me out...
A. 28 January 2010: They just sound like really lousy, jealous friends. Just focus on your boyfriend and your relationship instead. that's all that matters.... (read in full...)
Is he unable to commit to marriage?
Q. I have a boyfriend who has been divorced and single for the last 15 years. He has had long term relationships but has never lived with or made a commitment to any of them. We have been dating for a year and a half and he recently asked me to live ...
A. 28 January 2010: If he has been married before, and it didn't work out, then it may have completely put him off the idea of marriage. The thing is, he is committed to you, it's just the ring on the finger you need (which I do understand). I think you do need to have ... (read in full...)
Razor burn sucks!
Q. so i shaved my pubic hair and i was pleased with the results. my girlfriend really liked it too. :) she was really turned on and she couldnt hide it either. my problem was that a few days after i shaved i realized some nasty razor burn and i also ...
A. 27 January 2010: I only have one, and that it don't do it! Lol. I did it and had the same problem. best thing to do is keep it trimmed to a very short level. I don't really know other methods. And waxing just sounds like hell!... (read in full...)
What do his actions mean in guy terms?
Q. I'm On a break with my ex boyfriend. He wanted the break because he couldn't handle a gf and wanted to get back on his feet, which is ok i guess. But Im getting confused he says he wants me and he wants back together again. last Saturday we hung out ...
A. 27 January 2010: In guy terms, this is a really good way of having sex and fun without the complications of a girlfriend. In other words, he's using you for sex, but doesn't want anything else. So either put him on a total ban until he comes back and works hard to ... (read in full...)
I don't know what I've done wrong and why things have changed??
Q. Dear cupid I started seeing a guy a few weeks before I went to Thailand for three weeks. We eneded up sleeping with each other on the first night, he pushed me into it and said he wouldnt judge me and said he was looking for a gf etc so it s...
A. 27 January 2010: Whoa! Back the hell away from this guy. Either he's used you and was looking for a way out, or he is the original nightmare and is a total mess. That said, if he's talking about STD's, he has something to worry about. And if you've had sex, it's ... (read in full...)
She wont kiss me and wont say why!
Q. im 17 and i have a gf but its hard to make her talk to me and she wont kiss me and wont say why, recenly ive been finding her friend very attractive. her and her freind often fall out about thing that each other has done. its usually my gf wh...
A. 27 January 2010: Your girlfriend seems really unstable to be honest. She won't believe you, she tries to ruin her friends; relationships and she won't kiss you. This just isn't the woman you need n your life. You'd be better off moving on from her and finding ... (read in full...)
I instantly wanted to have him but I don't have sex or fool around w someone I don't know
Q. I've been on 3 dates w this guy I've known for 3 mo.he msgs randomly to say hello and such.he flirts with me a lot.a lot of talk but in person he's a gentleman(he's incredibly naughty through txt). I assumed from his inconsistency and naughty ...
A. 27 January 2010: Seems to me he's interested in one thing only. Where are the dates, where is the 'getting to know each other'. You might be better moving on now before you end up hurt.... (read in full...)
Bending over got me a new name with my partner!
Q. My common-law partner and I have been together for almost 8 years. I have never been unfaithful nor would I ever consider that as an option. My partner on the other hand has. The problem however is not the past affairs but an incident that ...
A. 27 January 2010: A cheating partner becomes paranoid their partner will cheat. to be honest, you can do better than a guy who treats you like this. Never take a second rate guy as a boyfriend. ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't she answer my question about her feelings?
Q. my ex contacted me for advice on tax (im an accountant) after few weeks of no contact (she is currently seeing someone else). i took this opportunity up to tell her how much i miss her however she didn't acknowledge my feelings just carried on ...
A. 27 January 2010: Cut all contact. She's not interested. She's with someone else and that's all there is to it. You're better off moving on. ... (read in full...)
I can't understand why boys want me so bad???
Q. So im 14 and im not interested in having sex at this young of an age, ive only had 1 boyfriend, the most ive ever done with him was dance or hug, no kisses, i didnt really like him either. but i really started liking this boy recently, and he asked ...
A. 27 January 2010: Well you stay good. The thing about 90% of young guys is they're only interested in one thing. Sex. And from what you're saying all these guys are just after using you and probably most other girls as well. Keep your high standards and you'll meet a ... (read in full...)
I fancy him but too shy to flirt
Q. Ok, so there's this guy who is funny, good looking, loud and just really great. Anyway, he goes to my college and for some weird reason I really like him. I talk to him when I see him and he calls me names as a joke which I love. But I can't tell ...
A. 27 January 2010: Smile at him, look at him, be open. If you're really shy, try just getting to know him a bit more by asking him what he likes and such. The more comfortable you feel in getting to know him, the better.... (read in full...)
My husband has no desire to have sex with me...
Q. My husband does not desire to have sex with me, a few years ago. We have it , like every 3 months, if I ask. When I'm naked, he does not even look at me, not looking bad. Some extra weight, but man always looks at me, when outside. I do have a ...
A. 27 January 2010: You need to talk to him. When a man ins't interested in sex, it's usually one of the following things.
Depression
Another woman
Erectile dysfunction
Stress.
So I think you need to sit down with him and gently try to find out why it is he's s... (read in full...)
Why is flexibility such a turn on?
Q. Okay, so when my boyfriend and I have sex, he seems to get turned on by the fact that I'm on the dance team at school and stuff and knows that I'm really flexible. So, when we have sex, we usually start off folding deck chair style, and he carefully ...
A. 27 January 2010: Because it's just a big turn on to have a woman wrapped around you, that's why.... (read in full...)
Am I a drama craver???
Q. Hey, ive been with quite a few guys (i started very early) with my first bf at 10 - we were more just mates with the occasional kiss on the cheek to show off to other mates. i then moved on to this boy who i was seeing for a few weeks and then he ...
A. 27 January 2010: Sounds to me like it's more likely that you're searching for someone to just love you, rather then the conflict. To be honest, you need help. Drink will only kill you slowly, and those who do love you (like this guy), will have to watch you kill ... (read in full...)
Why do I give guys my number even although I KNOW I'm not interested???
Q. Why do i do this? i am not a flirt im just super friendly always smiling and laughing. now when i meet a guy for the first time maybe over three times i have given out my number even though i knew i wasnt gonna do anything or i was looking for ...
A. 27 January 2010: Maybe you do it because you find the attention flattering. How is your esteem, and self confidence when it comes to how you feel about yourself? This might be something you do to know there are guys out there who like you.... (read in full...)
Do cheating men believe their own lies, it's always the wife's fault?
Q. Do cheating men who abandon their wives and families feel guilty? Feel anything? Responsibility? Do they really believe thier own lies, that somehow it was the wife's fault? "She drove me to it"?, all the while still sleeping with their wife? If ...
A. 27 January 2010: Some guys do. My girlfriend was married to a guy who cheated on her, and all he did was blame her for everything. Thankfully she's been able to move on. Some guys are just that bad. All you can do now is be strong for yourself and your children and ... (read in full...)
The "I miss you game" blues...
Q. My boyfriend and i were texting and we were playing that no i miss you more game and oh my gosh!! he sent this to me, i miss you so much id take a bullet for you, then i said you win then he's like all my stuff was true, and i still miss you, i wish ...
A. 27 January 2010: Of course you're important to him. Talk to him again and ask him out and just say that at this time you want to take it slow and really get to know each other.... (read in full...)
Should I just ignore her and move on?
Q. me and my female friend know we like each other but none of us are doing anything about it because we know that in the long run it would never work out because we are both from very different asian cultures so if we did get together it would cause ...
A. 27 January 2010: It would be sad to just ignore her, since she could be a great friend. But it would be a good idea to meet other women at least.... (read in full...)
Sometimes a peach can have too much syrup and it doesn't mean the tree is getting too much water.
Q. Well I am in a s*load of trouble over a relationship I had with my boss at work. I handled the whole thing badly and it blew up in my face. I tried to get some advice on this problem the other day but my question wasn't posted because it was d...
A. 27 January 2010: Write a letter telling her more or less what you've said here, then ask for forgiveness and tell her you're very sorry and that you would really like a second chance.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wont believe he is my first
Q. Hi everyone!i hope somebody could help me with this problem.I ve never had any man in my life,but my first boyfriend said to me that i was not a virgin.and that hurt me so much because i thought he was my only one.and every time i tell him that he ...
A. 27 January 2010: This guy is pathetic. He's not worth your time. Why is it all so important you're his first? He's insulting you. Don't allow him to do it and get rid of him.... (read in full...)
I want to have my cake and eat it too
Q. I am married and have had a crush om a co worker for the last 7 months. I have been quite good at hiding my feelings from him til recently when we have spent a lot of time together at work. Working one on one. I let it slip about my crush on him ...
A. 27 January 2010: You're both attracted to each other because your marriages are in need of repair. So tell him you're focusing on your marriage and go home, tell your husband your relationship needs working out and get ready for some hard work. You don't know what ... (read in full...)
My husband wont say "I love you"
Q. My husband has never said I love u in the 10 yrs. We have been together. I asked him why when we first were together. He said when he has said it in the past that all went to hell after that. Well 10 yrs later and I still can't get him to say it. Is ...
A. 27 January 2010: Some guys find it hard to say those little three words, especially if they've said them before and it's gone wrong. The point is, if he's showing you loves you, then he loves you.... (read in full...)
I don' know if my b/f still loves me!
Q. Hello Dear cupid.. I have problem here.. I'm not sure if my boyfriend really loves me or not.. It's been almost 2 years we have together and broke up once about 1 month.. When we started together he also, he treated me very nice and romantic...
A. 27 January 2010: I don't think he does love you. I think you can do better, and I think you should move on now.... (read in full...)
I cheated and cheated and ...cheated and feel terrible!
Q. I have been with my guy for around 5 years on and off... on and off because of several reasons including me getting involved with other people. There are some serious flaws in our relationship like kids vs. no kids, religious things etc.. but ...
A. 27 January 2010: Scar him for life is right, I'm afraid. Just leave him. You don't love him, no matter how much you think you do. He just represents some stability it what is clearly an unhappy life you're living. You need to take a look at your life, and your past, ... (read in full...)
How do I know if he is "The One"?
Q. my boyfriend and I have ben together for almost 4 years and we def. Have our ups and downs just like every other relationship and I was wondering when the wedding bells should riing? I love him and anytime I bring up Marriage and Babies he gets ...
A. 27 January 2010: If he's freaking out, he's not ready. If he's not ready and you are, then he's not the one.... (read in full...)
I just wanna have some fun but he's past it!
Q. I just turned 21 and my boyfriend is almost 29. I'm ready to party and get wild and just have fun! But he always says he had his time to party when he was "young and dumb" and all he cares about now is working working working! I wanna go out to the ...
A. 27 January 2010: End it. If partying and fun mean more than him, which they do at your age, then you're wasting his time and yours. Move on from him, have all your fun, and then you'll find your Mr Right in the future. ... (read in full...)
I'm attracted to her sister and my gf is on to me!
Q. My girlfriends sister and I have had a "relationship" for a couple of weeks now. My relationship with GF has been shaky lately and I am really attracted to her sister, who has already said she loves me and would give up everything for me. Now my GF ...
A. 27 January 2010: Stick with your girlfriend. Remember the saying 'The grass is greener'. What happens when it all goes wrong and you realize you have nothing? And that will happen. Just because things between you and your girlfriend are a rocky doesn't mean they ... (read in full...)
He promised he would stop talking to her, but I found out he still is!
Q. So my boyfriend talkedto this girl that I very much hate, he promised he would stop talking to her, but I found out he still is talking to her thinking I don't know a thing. What is this suppose to mean??????...
A. 27 January 2010: He broke his promise. End it. If he broke this promise, what others will he break? He's not worth your time.... (read in full...)
She said if we broke up she would probably kill herself!
Q. I would like to be objective, but I realize being in the relationship makes it impossible. That said here it goes... I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 3.5 years. Were both 23. It has been pretty good save a few big blowups ...
A. 27 January 2010: This isn't working, and you know it. Al you do is argue, and she guilt trips you all the time. You would do better to just move on, no matter what. Otherwise in ten years time when you're unhappy with her and she's still guilt tripping you, you're ... (read in full...)
My babysitter is a hooker!
Q. I have a 6 month old daughter and I recently had a babysitter who turned out to be a prostitute who was all this time sending naked pictures to men for money and on holidays she would go out to sleep with husbands who she used to work for their ...
A. 27 January 2010: I think your daughter is safe, as this woman clearly is into grown men. The problem is she is obviously trying to get to your husband. I think you need to sack her, or at least tell your husband and if need be throw the photos at your mother in law. ... (read in full...)
Why do we argue over money all the time?
Q. if me and my partner keep arguing about money, is it right to even consider marriage? we have been together 9 years and got together when we were 18. we love each other and generally get along well but our we tend to argus about money a lot. ...
A. 27 January 2010: He spends, you save. You were supposed to be saving for a house, but he hasn't. Sadly, you're right. This is a recipe for disaster. What happens in the future when you want to have kids or something, and you're in debt and can't afford them. It's ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid I will never love again.
Q. im afraid i will never love again, truly love again. im over my ex, hes a completely different person than what he was before so all i have left is just the illusion of what was. ive been dating this guy for about 6 months roughly but weve been ...
A. 27 January 2010: No, you can't force love. I suspect that though you're over your ex, you're not over the breakup and you're worried you won't meet 'the one'. I think this might be the time to just focus on yourself. You're only young, so maybe instead of worrying ... (read in full...)
I was cheated on and since then I became paranoid and jelous!
Q. I have a serious jelousy problem and I really need any advice you can give me to stop it. I was cheated on and since then I became paranoic and jelous, I use to be quite laid back about my guys and their time, but since the ex who cheated, I became ...
A. 27 January 2010: I think you might need counselling for this, because it's clearly quite bad. You need to try and just focus on your own life at the moment, and get yourself healed. You haven't moved on from being hurt, and until you face up to that moment and ... (read in full...)
If his siblings are being nice to me, does that mean that my BF is talking to them about me?
Q. Does a guy talk about you to his siblings if they are being nicer to you? I have both as a friend on Facebook and his sister sends me best friend things even though I met her once. His brother I've hungout with twice he loves hanging out with me and ...
A. 27 January 2010: Sorry, thought he was. Well that most likely means he likes you and has spoken to them about you, bit is maybe a little shy. :). So you could try talking to him if you like. ... (read in full...)
Is it a good sign she doesn't want to talk about women I'm involved with?
Q. I've been getting back in touch with a friend of mine through email. There was a lot of sexual tension between us when we worked together last year, but things never materialized for various reasons. She drops hints about men she's been invol...
A. 26 January 2010: It means she's not interested in hearing about your sexual conquests, which could mean she fancies you. Try talking to her about it... (read in full...)
Our date was on thursday and today its tuesday and he hasn't contacted me. why is that??
Q. i went out on a date with this guy and everything seemed to go very very well. the chemistry was there, we were laughing and had a really good time. probably the best date i ever had. we really clicked. he also kissed me first. and i think he had a...
A. 26 January 2010: Try asking him for a date. Maybe how wants you to do a bit of running! Enjoy. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend of two years is an alcoholic!
Q. my boyfriend of two years is an alcoholic. he use to smoke pot on a daily basis. after we started dating he quit because i didn't approve. i have accepted his drinking because he doesn't do the pot anymore. he has been clean of it for over a ...
A. 26 January 2010: To be honest, this guy is not what you want in your life. Not only does he stand a chance of relapsing, but the drinking will take its toll. You really need to think about what you want from your life. You don't want to look back in another few ... (read in full...)
Sometimes I just feel that I want to escape from everything.
Q. Hey. I'd like to know if anyone else feels this way. I wouldn't say I'm depressed but I definately get moments where I feel pretty down. There's nothing bad about my life. I just go through rough patches like everyone does. I don't like change a...
A. 26 January 2010: No, everyone in the world goes through all this at some time. Sometimes we think we can face the world, sometimes we can't and we feel we just want to hide away. You're perfectly normal. When you feel down, that's the time to focus on something you ... (read in full...)
He said that I was better off without him for the moment.
Q. I am really sad at the moment...im 40 and my boyfriend is the same age, anyway we had a great time on friday and last night he said he was thinking about me on email...we were still exchanging emails and he thought i was in a funny mood with ...
A. 26 January 2010: Back off from him. Something has happened to change him, so he needs space. If you try looking for an answer, you won't get one. If he doesn't contact you again, then it's over. ... (read in full...)
Do condoms clog up the plumbing?
Q. I flushed a condom down the toilet and im worried it will clog up the pipes, its only the one time ive done this and would hate to block the pipes and then have my parents discover it. I wrapped it in toilet paper first but im just worried that ive ...
A. 26 January 2010: As long as you've wrapped it in tissue, it should be fine.... (read in full...)
Did not want him, until he had someone else!
Q. I have a friend that has this friend that she talks to on the phone and go out sometimes. Her friend has asked her many times to become his girlfriend, and she always said no, and she would tell him how she never felt nothing for him, that he was as ...
A. 26 January 2010: She had her chance and blew it. He's moved on. This isn't actually about her fancying him, it's that she was happy to have his attention and now misses it. Truth is she just wants what she can't have. As her friend, help her get over him. Don't ... (read in full...)
If his siblings are being nice to me, does that mean that my BF is talking to them about me?
Q. Does a guy talk about you to his siblings if they are being nicer to you? I have both as a friend on Facebook and his sister sends me best friend things even though I met her once. His brother I've hungout with twice he loves hanging out with me and ...
A. 26 January 2010: Because you mean a lot to their brother and they want to know you. They do like you. That's a really great thing. Get to know them more. And yes your boyfriend will be talking to them about you. ... (read in full...)
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