| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Why do you think he kept staring at me?...
Q. hi i was walking home from school and there was this guy walking infront of me.everytime a car would go up the street he would turn around and look at the car i thought he might be getting picked up by someone but he just carried on but everytime...
A. 29 January 2010: Well he probably fancied you. But it also depends on his age. If he goes to your school, then he just fancies you. If it's someone older, then he might have been a bit of a weirdo. So just be safe when you're walking home... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is selfish.... or am I selfish by thinking this?
Q. I am really confused. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half now and he seems so selfish. Don't get me wrong, there are many good things about him which make it hard to decide whether I should end the relationship. He works hard, he...
A. 29 January 2010: He seems to be way too into his own life to even have a girlfriend, and I think you now need to stop being so polite and tell him straight that the lack of attention and the lack of you doing things as a couple is now affecting your relationship. If ... (read in full...)
I was on the phone with her a few hours ago and she said hold on one second and I said ok, I was on hold for 30 minutes before I hung up.
Q. i am 14 and my girlfriend of 7 months in 16 our relationship is really good we go a lot of places and she is always laughing at my jokes and i laugh at most of hers but lately my girlfriend just disapears from time to time, i'll be texting her and ...
A. 29 January 2010: Something's going on. This is how women act when they're cheating to be honest, so you should speak to her.... (read in full...)
How do you feel about larger inner lips?
Q. Male and female opinions wanted - please be truthful! How do you feel about the inner lips being outside the outer by quite a fair bit? Please be honest !...
A. 29 January 2010: A guy will like you as you are! That's all that matters. Seriously, chances are he won't really give it any thought. There's nothing wrong with you.... (read in full...)
I feel like he'll never be ready to make a serious commitment to me. Please advise.
Q. I recently moved out of my boyfriends house (we lived toget about 5 months) and decided to stay together after a week's break. Before we used to talk about a future together and that doesn't seem to be happening anymore. Since I moved out, it's like ...
A. 29 January 2010: Yes, actions to say more than words. And his actions say that at the moment, he's just not ready for commitment. So you nee to make a decision. Are you willing to wait around for him, or would you be better moving on.... (read in full...)
I thought I wouldn't hear from him once he moved back home on the other side of the country, but he keeps in touch and I'm starting to like him, any suggestions?
Q. I met a guy that was here for a training class. He was here for 3 weeks and the last week and a half we slept together every night. He would kiss me on the forehead goodnight and then kiss me goodbye in the morning. I thought it was kind of wierd ...
A. 29 January 2010: I think you should ask him how he really feels, because I think he really likes you but doesn't know how to say it. If you're falling for him, it's worth a chance! Ask him how he really feels about you. ... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't mind me flirting with other men, has he fallen out of love with me?
Q. My husband doesn't mind me flirting with other men, has he fallen out of love with me? I feel as though he is pushing me away. When I mention so and so, he jokes around and says "are you flirting with him again" laughingly as if he were my friend ...
A. 29 January 2010: Maybe he is jealous, but he's just putting a brave face on. A lot of men use jokes and laughter to try and remove an awkward feeling they feel. There was a question on here the other day, and it was a guy saying that his girlfriend was flirting and ... (read in full...)
Our friends don't have much time to socialise recently, what do you think?
Q. My wife and I have been friends with this other couple for maybe 5 years. In the last year we have had them over for dinner/parties maybe 4 times; they have had us over zero times but did invite us to go out to dinner with them once. My wife s...
A. 29 January 2010: Your wife might just be right. Maybe they are busy. They did invite you out at least once, and they did come to dinner with you, so this isn't some avoidance thing. Maybe they're suffering because of the recession and don't want anyone to know. ... (read in full...)
We like each other but how can I know he is not only looking for sex?
Q. i know this guy likes me and i like him too. i know he likes me cause he told me he and hes always staring at me he teases me. but i wanna know how can i kno hes not just looking for sex from me. like what signs are there to tell me hes only after ...
A. 29 January 2010: He wont' want to get to know you, he'd rather pressure you into sex. A guy who really likes you will talk to you, get to know you, take you out on dates and wait until you're ready to have sex. A guy who's after sex will try to pressure you into ... (read in full...)
Why do men enjoy telling their women about their conquests?
Q. Why do men enjoy telling their women about their "conquest" and flirting episodes with other women, mainly younger, and sexier than us?...
A. 29 January 2010: You're meeting the wrongs guys. I don't do that, and I know some great guys who don't either. But the guys you're talking about probably aren't getting it as much as they like everyone to believe, or they're insecure and want women to think they're ... (read in full...)
What do you think, is he serious or is he just playing around?
Q. I have a question about my guy friend telling me that he loves me. He told me that he loves me and could sooooo see himself being with me, but he really isn't showing me that he loves me, he's just saying it. I'm wondering is it because he's been ...
A. 29 January 2010: He's saying all this a bit too quickly for my liking. You don't want to end up a rebound. Test him by making sure he takes you out on dates, and doesn't try to just use you for sex or something. Make sure he takes you on dates, treats you with ... (read in full...)
How do I find the courage to dump someone I love
Q. How do I find the courage to dump someone I love. I am weak, I cannot find the words nor the ability to end it. My girlfriend is emotionally abusive, and I was raised by a father who was too. I am stuck, caring about her, I have tried to break up ...
A. 29 January 2010: Best thing to do is to tell a friend that you want to break up. Then someone else knows and can be there. Then, take your girlfriend out to a public place (not too public, but a place where other people are), and tell her calmly and concisely that ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my mum and boyfriend that I am pregnant?
Q. Im 18 and im pregnant. i have no idea how to tell my mom or boyfriend. He doesnt want a baby because of his baseball but i pretty much have my life set. i have a good flexible job i went to collage for and am currently doing it (Dog grooming). I ...
A. 29 January 2010: It's best to tell your mum first, then your boyfriend. There isn't an easy way, but it might be worth having a friend by your side as you tell her, because no doubt she will be shocked, and it will be worth you having someone by your side. As for ... (read in full...)
How can I ask her out without it seeming like a date?
Q. Hey to who ever is reading this, lol, but i was hoping to get some advice on how to ask this girl i've had a crush on for awhile out. We really haven't talked, which makes me think it's a bad idea, but i'm not all into the dating scene LOL. But ...
A. 29 January 2010: Well why don't you try just talking to her before asking her out on a date. Get to know her a bit more before asking her our, then you'll know whether she's interested or not. When I like a woman, I get to know her first, then I ask her on a date. ... (read in full...)
Has he lost interest in me?
Q. Guys, please help me out with this. Ladies, I know you'll have great pearls of wisdom too! My partner and I have been in a relationship for 18 months now, and I feel that he may have lost a bit of his interest in me. He said that he is not an ove...
A. 29 January 2010: This is kind of a natural thing. The initial excitement is gone, now comes real life where both you and your boyfriend have to put effort in. The problem is that you've always been there for him, and he's kind of got used to it. So re-evaluate your ... (read in full...)
What do men do to show commitment?
Q. Hello Men, I am here working through my own challenges with a man. I question his love for me. I want to be informed before I proceed or reject the man I'm with. For those of you whom have fully loved a woman, or do now, please enter your bulle...
A. 29 January 2010: I actually just said to my girlfriend that I would like an exclusive relationship, and she said yes. But a guy who's really into you will make it known through his actions. He'll be there, he'll answer calls and texts, he'll ask you on a lot of ... (read in full...)
She knows how I feel but keeps talking about sex with other people.
Q. I have a friend who I have strong feelings for. I told her how I felt and she said she felt the same way but that we both weren't ready. I said I needed some time away from her. A month later she contacted me and started talking about things like ...
A. 29 January 2010: She's either really wanting you to run around and fight for her a bit, or she's hoping you have got over her. Unfortunately, her actions are a little too cryptic. I think it's more likely she's hoping you've got over her to be honest, but the only ... (read in full...)
Stress is affecting our relationship!
Q. Stress eats up our relationship, communication, sex and everything. How can I improve it?.... My husband had not been lucky about his career for the past few years. He tried to be his own boss by doing real estate. He just quitted his job when we ...
A. 29 January 2010: This is about the money, and in particular your husband's job. He has got to get another one. And perhaps look at moving to somewhere cheaper to live as well, that is maybe closer to his work that he doesn't have to travel as much.... (read in full...)
How can I not ruin relationships by being too protective?
Q. Hi, I'm an overprotective guy unfortunately this has led to many break ups over the years. What I am wonding is how do I control these feelings so that this relationship don't end up like the rest. Any advice is welcome....
A. 29 January 2010: Depends what you mean by 'protective'. You need to ask yourself why you need to protect a woman so much. Have you been really hurt before?... (read in full...)
Is my music teacher flirting with me?
Q. I've been thinking about this for quite some time now, and would really like to get someone else's opinion on the matter: I've developed a sort of friendship with my music teacher over the years. It felt like we were on the same page about many ...
A. 29 January 2010: I think this guy is into you, and the give away is that he's changed since he knows you've been seeing someone. To be honest, I would leave him out of your life if he doesn't contact you as much. ... (read in full...)
Why is he saying these things when we split up 2 months ago?
Q. my ex woke me up with an early morning text, and i was totally taken back since i thought he decided to disappear and forget me. his message was asking me whats this all about? the silence . i replied back that i was confused, one minute we talk ...
A. 29 January 2010: Maybe he thinks he can get a second chance or something. Or maybe he's picking an argument to feel good about himself. So you need to ask yourself a question, and that's do you want to give this guy an opening for a second chance? ... (read in full...)
School, Crush, Dreams, Hopes and Fears
Q. I have a big crush on this guy in one of my classes and I'm pretty sure he likes me too. We had to do this project and we had to ask a person questions about them and write a story. One of my questions was something like what do you want to be doing ...
A. 28 January 2010: Don't change your answer. Instead, go and speak to the guy and get to know him. Then he'll know what you want to do. Be brave. ... (read in full...)
She is so shy she might run if I approach her
Q. Slightly confused as to make a move on this girl or not ? She's in her early 30's and slightly older than me, we've been working at the same place for about 6 months, she's spot on, ticks all the boxes but i'm getting mixed signals, when she'...
A. 28 January 2010: She's shy all right. Just keep getting to know her and keep speaking to her. Ask her about herself. Prove your a guy worth trusting. The more she sees that you're into her, the more likely it is she will open up. ... (read in full...)
After he told me his plans for our future I am just dazed
Q. Dear Cupid, I am white 25 year old Christian girl. My boyfriend is 31 year old Muslim man. I want to convert to Islam and plan to do so soon. I split with my ex-boyfriend (a university 5 year romance) just before I started dating my curren...
A. 28 January 2010: He's communicating with an ex, was on a site and claims to have 'unsubscribed', and he been emailing other women. Seriously, here are red flags you can't ignore. And there seems to be a little bit too much planning here, as if he's trying to trap ... (read in full...)
He's dating another girl but I like him, is there a chance we could be together?
Q. okaii , so this year my brother who is one year younger than me signed up for hockey , and he's playing on the same team with guys my age. then one day i saw this one guy there that i had never seen before , he was really cute . :$ . so the next day ...
A. 28 January 2010: Sorry, he's dating someone else. Best to let him go. There will be another guy out there for you. ... (read in full...)
Faded line on pregnancy test - what does this mean?
Q. I took a early result pregnancy test and a blue line showed up in the control window, but in the result window the blue line was faded. Anyone knows what this means?...
A. 28 January 2010: Not sure. If in doubt, go to a doctor and get tested. ... (read in full...)
Gave a man my virginity and now I don't know what to do.
Q. Im 16 and a few weeks ago my older sister had i party which i went to. Whilst i was out in the garden having a drink (i was a little bit drunk) I met this boy (he was a year older than me) anwe got talking for ages at the end we ended up snogging ...
A. 28 January 2010: If you want to know who he is, you have to tell your sister. There is no other way to find him. And I have an awful feeling you won't. Make sure you get tested for STD's as well. ... (read in full...)
Had sex with someone new, and now have pain while urinating! Sign of pregnancy?
Q. I had sex with a new partner 2 weeks ago, and since then i have felt bad pain when urinating and felt the urge to urinate much more frequently than normal. What could be causing this? Is it a sign of pregnancy?...
A. 28 January 2010: Either that or you have an infection from the guy. Go to the doctor and get tested. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to sleep with a married woman and I don't think it's right!
Q. I'm a 25 year old female that has been dating a 34 year old man for 5 years. He recently came into contact with a former female college friend and they've been flirting online. Now, he plans to meet with her this weekend to go to a concert. He goes ...
A. 28 January 2010: Yes there is something wrong with him sleeping with her. Yes there is something wrong with this entire situation. This is usually where threesomes lead. One inevitably wants even more. Your boyfriend clearly has no respect for marriage, and no ... (read in full...)
How do I fix my self esteem after dumping a narcissist partner?
Q. i have broken free of a narcissist after 4yrs. i know i must stay positive, use my exercise equipment, spend time with my grandchild,do some voluntary work, take up a hobby , go for a swim,but my self esteem is in the gutter, i have no motivation ...
A. 28 January 2010: See a counsellor. Get all your feelings out in the open, and you'll find it a lot easier to move on. You've already got a great list, but it might help just to talk to someone as well. Good luck!... (read in full...)
I was dissapointed I was not pregnant at 15.
Q. Alright, well my boyfriend and I have been together for a while now and last week we had a pregnancy scare, I'm not but for some reason we were both kind of disapointed when my period came. Even though we should have been over joyed. I mean if I ...
A. 28 January 2010: Wait for a long time. People all like to think they're ready. Then when it happens it is a huge shock. At your ages, you both need to live life and make sure your futures are well set before you can have children. That last thing you want is to have ... (read in full...)
What do you do when you have someone you genuinely love just want to be friend?
Q. What do you do when you have someone you genuinely love just want to be friend? She liked me at some point, but I have no clue how she feels now. I tried looking at her as just a friend, but it's impossible for me. I stopped talking to her on ...
A. 28 January 2010: I think it's worth giving her another shot, because then you'll know where you stand. If she says yes, all well and good. If she says no, then that will at least help you to move on. ... (read in full...)
I like my friend but how do I get him alone?
Q. I'm falling for my friend. I don't know what to do because I'm not sure if he feels the same way about me. I can't tell him as it will ruin our friendship. I really like him and I'm going to try and flirt with him so maybe he might like me back. But ...
A. 28 January 2010: Tough one. You could take the plunge and ask him to meet then tell him. Then you'd know for sure how he feels. Other than that, when you're around him, just smile, keep eye contact and lightly touch him now and again and watch his responses. ... (read in full...)
I don’t have a girl to talk to and to just do stupid things like gossip and go to the spa with anymore
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year now. I can’t even explain how much we’ve gone through together but he has always been there for me. The problem is while I was going through certain things in my life I lost pretty much all of ...
A. 28 January 2010: You need to girl friends, and you need to start talking to those in your class. You're relying on your boyfriend far too much, and that's not healthy. Your boyfriend is being way too controlling to now allow you to make new friends, and that's a big ... (read in full...)
I have 5 girlfriends and now it's a problem.
Q. I've got five girlfriends and I honestly don't know what to do. Basically, I met a girl three years ago in college. We began a relationship, got serious, then she left for work in the USA. We're still together in the form of a long-distance ...
A. 28 January 2010: Get it together and end it with all of them. None of these women are offering what you want, so you need to move on from all of them.... (read in full...)
I think my g/f is trying to get pregnant so I marry her. What do I do?
Q. I have been dating my g/f for more than 6 months now and she has been hinting about marriage. We have been having sex since our second month of dating and up until a few weeks ago I was using condoms. My girlfriend went on the pill so I would ...
A. 28 January 2010: Yes,she is trying to get pregnant if she's putting your sperm inside her and putting her legs against the wall. If I were you, I would actually end it with her now. She's lying about the pill and she's trying to get pregnant without talking to you, ... (read in full...)
My friend is angry that I warned her about her dangerous driving.
Q. Today I went out in the car with one of my friends who passed her driving test about a month ago. Only 1 of the other passengers could drive as well. Basically she was driving way too fast. Dangerously fast. The two of us in the back felt uncomfor...
A. 28 January 2010: No, you were right to say something. If she was going too fast, she could have killed someone. If she doesn't listen, she still might. There isn't anything else you can do. If she's looking for an apology, don't give her one. All you have to say is ... (read in full...)
Should I choose my friends or my work?
Q. Ok im going to make it easy on my first term at school i didn't get a good grade on my report card, and this term im studying so hard that im actually getting exellent grades and my parents are really happy for that. But the problem is that ...
A. 28 January 2010: Maybe set aside just one day to go with friends. Yes, they're getting mad, but at this time grades are important. However, it also will do you good just to get away from work for one day. ... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant?
Q. Ok, so i started my period december 28 2009 and ended my period on january 2nd 2010, then i had unprotected sex on the 14 of january 2010. It is now the 28 of january and my period hasnt started and i took a pregnancy test on january 25 and the test ...
A. 28 January 2010: Take another test, even go to the doctor if you're worried. ... (read in full...)
Have I wasted 5 yrs of my life with this man?
Q. I've been living with my fiance for 5 years. He's 50 this year and i'm 47. At the start he said he wanted marriage and would ask me on a weekly basis but now he seems to have changed his mind. When i approach the subject he either says i'm starting ...
A. 28 January 2010: If you're looking for the ring on the finger, you won't find it here. Five years is well enough time to know. So you can either live with him knowing you won't get married, or you can move on. But it doesn't seem like he's interested in marriage at ... (read in full...)
He told me to quit my job to save our marriage, should I?
Q. Im a mid twenties woman who has been married for a few years, we have two kids. Ive been uneasy in the relationship . WE finally talked about the possibility of it not working out, and he told me to quit my job, it wasnt really an ultimatum. but ...
A. 28 January 2010: Well that's what I was thinking. It's not enough for you to quit your job and it all suddenly work out. That won't happen. You need to go to counselling together and suggest things you can both do. ... (read in full...)
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