| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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We are not exclusive..so how can I get to the point of being able to date other people?
Q. Hello, everyone. I've been seeing this guy on and off for just under a year, and we've had some issues. He's very apt to spend days, sometimes weeks without calling me or seeing me, and this is a long distance relationship, so talking daily means ...
A. 31 January 2010: He does, because he wants nothing more than a casual relationship. You can't just date, because you want more. The answer is you need to let him go and move on if you want to date other people. ... (read in full...)
I never ever get the guy I like.. NEVER! Help!
Q. hey, my problem is i never ever get the guy i like! NEVER. and i dont know why coz im quite pretty and all. I liked this guy for 9 years but nothing happened. Finally moved on. Got to know another guy, wasnt quite attracted to him at first. But, he ...
A. 31 January 2010: You're not moving quite fast enough. There was a guy you liked for nine years, and you did't say anything. There was this other guy, and you didn't say anything, and now there's this third guy, and you're not really saying anything to him either. ... (read in full...)
I need to reassure my husband who is feeling insecure about his penis size..what should I say?
Q. I have a question I have been married for sometime. I have only had sex with 2 guys the first guy I was with was somewhat bigger than my husband and we had trouble. My husband and I were talking about sex and the past and I mention that the first ...
A. 31 January 2010: For crying out loud, your husband is well over average. Tell him that. ... (read in full...)
Bf wants a break, because I can't stay at his house overnight. Advice?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years, my mother really doesnt like him and never really has so, he doesn't stay nights at my house and because she's so controlling I can't stay out of her house all nite. He's been asking me to stay alot lately ...
A. 31 January 2010: I can see why your mother doesn't like him now. He wanted a break just because he couldn't sleep over? He was in it for sex and nothing else. That's it. Seriously, this time thank your mother. She saw through him! He was only interested in the sex. ... (read in full...)
He won't make a move! How do I show him that I want him to?
Q. okay so i am almost a senior in high school and theres this one guy that ive known since 6th grade..i know he has had a very big crush on me since 7th grade when i had him in two of my classes, hes a shy guy to a certain point. Now i feel like since ...
A. 31 January 2010: I think you should go for broke and tell him you like him. Guys are rubbish at reading all those signs women send out. If you want him, then be direct and tell him you like him and want to go out with him. It's the only way to be sure. You could ... (read in full...)
What option do I choose?
Q. Me and my long tearm boyfriend have recently split up and we have a 2 month old baby. I have recently declared my self homless and I will need to put my name down for a new home. I have 2 opptions, 1/ stay in the same area code as my x because he ...
A. 31 January 2010: 1). You need to move wherever you feel most comfortable, and wherever is most suitable for your daughter. A 30 minute bus ride isn't that far! But wherever the better schools and facilities for your child are is where you need to be.
2) Don't keep... (read in full...)
He hugged me...does he like me or was he kidding around?
Q. So i'm in tennis. There's this guy on my tennis team, he's korean and i'm viet/chinese. He's a sophomore and i'm a freshman. On Friday, my friends and I stayed after school to practice and play, and he showed up, since he always stays after scho...
A. 31 January 2010: He sounds like he is interested. You have to ask him to find out though. So you need to be brave and take a chance.... (read in full...)
The guy I like was upset when he saw his friend feeling me up! What should I do now?
Q. Okay so last night I went to the local bar in the area of the city that i live in. Afterwards my friend and I went back to the guy I like's (he likes me in return)house with his friends as well. Needless to say i was quite drunk and flirty with the ...
A. 31 January 2010: The thing about crushes is unless you tell the person you have a crush on that you like them, so much can be misunderstood. So my advice would be to tell your crush that you like him, and start from there.... (read in full...)
Health question! Do you know what could be wrong with my knees?
Q. hey all. this isnt a relationship question but i just wondered if anyone can help me... as i have been trying to get a doctors appointment for over a week now without any luck. with my doctors you can only make an appointment on the morning of the ...
A. 31 January 2010: Yes it could be arthritis, though it is unlikely. I could also be a calcium deficiency ... (read in full...)
He ignores me when he has a girlfriend but makes out with me when he doesn't! I like him, should I wait to be hurt again?
Q. my bestfriends ex recenly started talking to me..well in october.. after a while we started hanging out and the ended up kissing. he was my first kiss. we continued to make out at least once a week, and my friend knew. as we kept going he started ...
A. 30 January 2010: He's using you when his girlfriend isn't around. That's cruel of him, and you can do better. Forget about him.... (read in full...)
Health question! Do you know what could be wrong with my knees?
Q. hey all. this isnt a relationship question but i just wondered if anyone can help me... as i have been trying to get a doctors appointment for over a week now without any luck. with my doctors you can only make an appointment on the morning of the ...
A. 30 January 2010: I'm not a doctor, but my aunt has arthritis, and she has these complaints. It could be that you have arthritis in your knees. Though again, I'm not a doctor. If you do have it, then there is little that can be done other than pain killers.... (read in full...)
I really liked him! Did he want me to stay for a reason?
Q. I really hope im right about this situation. Thing is ive liked this guy for nearly a year and i thought he liked me. But he never really spoke to me much he just mainly stared at me, sometimes he would talk to me normally other times he wouldnt. I ...
A. 30 January 2010: Chances are he really does like you, but is terribly shy and confused about you. Get talking to him more about everything you can, find out about him and see if you still like him and see where it leads.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to join the army, but how will I stop worrying about him?
Q. Recently i met one of the most amazing guys ive ever met. I love him so much and i feel like i would die without him. We're serious about our relationship and plan on getting married someday. however his life plan is to join the ...
A. 30 January 2010: Here in Britain there are support groups families of those in the army. I'mm sure there are some support groups in America as well. Perhaps if you were able to mix with other women who were in your situation that would help?... (read in full...)
Hubby wants the cake and to eat it too!
Q. My husband, out of the blue (after 14 years of a good marriage and a 10 year old child)started having a secret affair with his married colleague. They managed to hide it for nearly an year during which i accidentally discovered and confronted him ...
A. 30 January 2010: Girl, you talk to a solicitor and take him for every penny you deserve, including the house if you can. He's using her for the sex, and using you as the wife at home to do the ironing and cooking. How dare he treat you this way. He's blaming you, ... (read in full...)
Has he been cheating & should I stay or tell him what I know & get rid of him.
Q. I am with my partner for 5 years and I thought we were very close until recently. He's 52 and I'm 46 and we are both divorced. During the first 2 years together I herad remarks/comments/rumours about him and other women and whe I asked hi...
A. 30 January 2010: Tell him what you found, then dump him. That way he knows where he stands. He clearly won't change, and since he gave you something that was sexually transmitted, that's the deal breaker. Get rid of him. Never settle for second best like this.... (read in full...)
Should I go for the popular guy or aim for someone more like myself?
Q. Ok Ok people dont freak out but at my school there are populer people and then theres people like me not populer the crazy one with the crazy friends. But you know what I dont care Im proud to be me but thats not why I posted this I have an ...
A. 30 January 2010: Stop playing too hard to get. Accept him as a friend. He likes you, and he's asked to be your friend, and he's asked again. He likes you. So accept him as a friend, talk to him some more, then ask him out. Yes, ask him out! :). Good luck. ... (read in full...)
My married lover left his wife, but now he has cooled off with me.
Q. I have been having an affair with a man for around 9 months. At the beginning of the month he left his wife and is getting a divorce. Over the last 5 mths our relationship and become stronger and we've fell in love with each other. He used to make ...
A. 30 January 2010: This is a complete classic, I'm afraid. This is why women are warned again and again about affairs with married men. He used you as an escape in his marriage. Now he has escaped his marriage, you are surplus to requirement and are now expendable. He ... (read in full...)
My hubby said he had an affair to deliberately hurt me!
Q. I don't know which way to go, stick it out or call it a day. We've been married 3 years, together for nearly 10, and have three young children together. When I was unknowingly suffereing from depression a couple of years ago my husband set out to d...
A. 30 January 2010: For a man to go out of his way and hurt you really says so much about him. It says everything you need to know in truth. He set out to hurt you, to cause you pain, when he should have been there for you. If you want to save this, you need to both go ... (read in full...)
I admit being OTT about hubby talking to another woman, but he says I am nasty and vindictive!
Q. I have recently got married for the third time. My new husband speaks daily with a woman we both know and I asked him to stop. He told me that I was trying to censor him, nothing is going on and that he won't stop contact with her as there is no ...
A. 30 January 2010: Just because he is friends with her doesn't means she's a problem. Apparently she isn't, since they've been friends for years and aren't going out now. He chose to marry you, not her. You put him in a position and gave him an ultimatum that wasn't ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm missing out on my youth by being in love.
Q. Dear Cupid, I'm 23 years old and have been in my relationship since I was nineteen, so we're going on four years now. We live together, have a dog, and are partners and best friends! The problem is... I feel like i'm missing out on my youth...
A. 30 January 2010: Why ruin a really great thing for the sake of sleeping around? You say you love him that much, but if you're thinking like this, maybe you don't. The fact is, break up with him and you'll lose him. And for what? So you can go out and sleep around. ... (read in full...)
Why does he lose his erection if I want foreplay?
Q. So. My husband gets hard pretty easily and can stay hard if we have sex immediately once he's ready. But if I need a little more foreplay so that I can get wet and ready, he loses his erection. Why is that/? Is it something wrong with me? Or he has ...
A. 30 January 2010: It's not you. At his age, maybe he's just having difficulties keeping it up all the time. A guy can't stay hard fur a very long amount of time, especially if he's busy focused on giving you extra foreplay. I'm sure there's no problem, and it ... (read in full...)
Are my braces to blame for me not getting dates?
Q. Are guys afraid of braces? Seriously, I have never dated and I want to know if it's something to do with me or if guys are afraid to date me just because I have braces. ...
A. 30 January 2010: It's nothing to do with braces. It's just that you haven't met the guy for you yet. Don't worry, he is out there.... (read in full...)
I thought she loved me but she got drunk and cheated.
Q. Me and my ex were together for a year I thought she loved me but we broke up in november, after she cheated on me when drunk. Unfortunatly we are in the same classes for 17 hours a week, sitting next to each other. We arnt talking at the moment, ...
A. 30 January 2010: If you're sat next to her all the time, you'll not get over her. Ask to be moved somewhere. And you're right not to be in contact with her. She's not worth a second of your time. See if you can be moved. ... (read in full...)
Does he regret dumping me now Ihave a modelling contract, or does he really hate me?
Q. I've just been dumped by a Pakistani boy who I've been with on and off for about a year. He's tried to dump me a few times before, but he'd always come back to me. Anyway he told me he'd met someone else and he wanted to be with her, so he dum...
A. 30 January 2010: He's a big asshole, is what he is. You love a guy who genuinely is the one of the crappest on earth. He doesn't love you at all, that's the point. He's dumped you three of four times. He's used you. He just doesn't care about you in the slightest. ... (read in full...)
I had unprotected sex and now I am 3 days late.
Q. okay I'm goin krazy !!!! My cyle has been commin dwn on da 27 of every month. A day befo my cycle wuz suppose 2 come I got on Adepix and I started walkin okay kool only 1 thing where n hell is my CYCLE !!!!! it wuz suppose 2 come dwn Wed and now ...
A. 30 January 2010: You might be pregnant. A man's pre-cum has sperm in it, and he won't have pulled out before he ejaculated some of that. You need to take a test. ... (read in full...)
I'm embarrased that I got drunk and texted my ex to tell him I love him.
Q. so i drank alittle more than im used to and i just decided on the spot to send a text to my ex. I know very dumb especially since the message started off saying i love uu lol. I really felt like saying it to him randomly and i know right now he's ...
A. 30 January 2010: Just leave it and delete his number so you won't do it again. It's unfair to do this to him if he's trying to get over you, so it's best to cut contact. ... (read in full...)
We broke up after 15 months, a few days later I'm interested in someone else! Am I crazy?
Q. Ok heres a pickle, my boyfriend and I broke up 4 days ago. I was totally ok with it, we were together for 15 months, but had been good friends first. We just couldn't make it work, we kept having arguments and the break up wasn't messy. I thought I ...
A. 30 January 2010: Seems to me like you're on the rebound. You would do better to spending time on yourself for now. Don't use some guy then dump him at a later date. Spend time on yourself and your life and get over this other guy.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend lost a bottle of her favourite perfume while in a club with me last night... And she wants ME to replace it! What should I do?
Q. Last night in a club with my friends, I got separated from the group. I decided to text my girlfriend to find out where she was. When I couldn't find her from her directions I told her where she could find me. When she got there she waved to me, and ...
A. 30 January 2010: No. Simple answer. ... (read in full...)
I want to lose weight and not put it back on
Q. hey, Im sixe 16/18 with lots of flab everywhere and im really looking to drop down to a size 12 but i really want to do it HEALTHILY. Ive looked on loads of different websites but I cant find one that not about taking some pills or doing somethin...
A. 30 January 2010: The only true way to do it healthily is to exercise. Go jogging, or go to a gym. Maybe go with a friend or something, just to keep company. After, you just have to watch what you eat, and continue to exercise. You could also talk to your doctor, who ... (read in full...)
We want to exchange naked pictures to take care of our sex drives
Q. Should I send my boyfriend naked pictures of myself? I am abroad this semester and he will be abroad next semester, and we are trying to think of ways to deal with our sex drive without being with other people. We are dedicated to doing this. He ...
A. 30 January 2010: There is one issue, and that is if you split up, he might put them on the internet, or they may find their way onto the internet or something anyway. You have to do what you feel comfortable with, but just be careful. Remember all those people who ... (read in full...)
My ex sexually assaulted me and I don't know what to do
Q. Okay, so im sorry if this gets long, and i know that im more in the wrong than any of these guys! I just really dont know what to do anymore, ive been with my amazing boyfriend Richard now, for 11 months, everythings being going great, hes so kind ...
A. 30 January 2010: This is not your fault at all. And that's the very firs thing you have to remember. This other guy, Simon, raped you in a toilet. You have to go to the police and tell them, and you will need rape crisis counselling to help you, otherwise you will ... (read in full...)
Save your "you are just a kid" speeches
Q. Ok righto. My beautiful girlfriend's mum brewed up a shit storm with a friend of my family. The mum is a hell of a lot less immature than than my love. So after the fact things between my girlfriend, lets call her Ella, and me have been a bit ...
A. 30 January 2010: Send her a letter telling her how you feel and see what happens. You say you can't lose her, but you very much might if she has to choose, which her mum may make her do. Send her letter telling her how you feel and see if that helps at all.... (read in full...)
My sister sent a naked picture to my boyfriend! Yet I am made to feel the bad guy for finding out!
Q. My ex and I broke up over 3 months ago. It all started when he lied to me about being out. After that when I had the gut feeling to check up on him I did. First, I found a message to another girl that asked if he could see her before I got to his ...
A. 30 January 2010: I'm begging you to dump this louse. The reason you're made to feel like the bad guy is because he is playing you. A person acts this way when they're a crap person, and he is a crap person. Look in a mirror and smile, you're a good lad. He's just a ... (read in full...)
My college room mate asks me to stay elsewhere so she can have men over!
Q. My college roommate has currently started sleeping around. Today she asked me if she would mind me spending the night elsewhere so she can have a boy spend the night with her. I am typically pretty good about giving her the room when she asks for it ...
A. 30 January 2010: No, you're not being ridiculous. This is truly out of order. You have to sleep in that room too, and it's not fair if she's looking to throw you out. Tell her she can go to his place instead.... (read in full...)
Our relationship has come to a standstill, please help!
Q. My wonderful boyfriend and I have been together for eight months. It was beautiful, blissful... up until a little over a month ago. There is really no specific moment in time that either of us noticed a decline in anything. We are very compatible ...
A. 30 January 2010: Keep working at it. The honeymoon period is now over, and here comes real life. Real relationships his barriers like this, and this is the real test. Spend time together without having spend money. Just go for a walk, sit in a field and be happy ... (read in full...)
She's a really nice girl but I'm afraid she's not telling me the truth about her virginity.
Q. Ok I'm pretty old to have just lost my virginity which was only a few months ago. I wanted it to be with someone really special but it wasn't. A month after that happened I met a girl who I really wanted to lose it with. She tells me that she's ...
A. 30 January 2010: Who knows? Only she knows, and she says she is. If you don't believe her, or can't trust her, then she's just not the girl for you. Everyone has a past. Maybe she has had sex, but doesn't' want to say because she'll feel you'll react badly, as you ... (read in full...)
I think there is a huge problem of woman simply spreading there legs and thinking that is all that is required of them.
Q. For the first 10 years of marriage my wife hasn't been sexual at all. She new absolutly nothing at all about sex and could care less about learning anything new. Of course she couldn't have an orgasm. She did do her wifely duties and would spread ...
A. 30 January 2010: I know I'm a guy, but I think I can sort of help, though there will be a better answer. Most women DO believe that they can have better sex. The problem is what they think of sex, and how they feel and how they've been brought up. If a woman has ... (read in full...)
So, what's the point of being attractive or hot when it just attracts those that notice your physical assets while not appreciating your other assets first?
Q. I recalled all of my relationships of the past. I haven't been in just one or two, but a little more than a few. I don't sleep around, and I don't settle for the first thing that comes my way. I feel love, I do not just feel lust. I try to be ...
A. 30 January 2010: You're just meeting the wrong damn bees! Most women will tell you that you have to wade through some really awful men to get to the few good ones. So maybe you need to try and meet them in different places. Start a hobby where other guys are that ... (read in full...)
Can I Forgive A Cheater?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for the past 4 years. We met in high school and dated for 8 months. At the time, I was still immature and I didn't know what love really meant. He ended up ditching on my prom night. I was so hurt and furious. I broke up ...
A. 30 January 2010: You have done what you believe was right for you and you love him no matter what.
Personally, if I had been dumped on prom night by someone, they'd never have gotten another chance. And I have to say the way he treated you after you broke up was ... (read in full...)
I'm in serious need of purging my 'issues' and pain
Q. I'm in serious need of purging my 'issues' and pain right now, and I need to work them out somehow. But I'm afraid to see a counselor again because I sometimes think if I've waited too long to deal with something directly (in this case a very bad ...
A. 30 January 2010: You'll never be able to forget your pain. Nothing works like that. Not even counselling will just make you forget the pain. What you can do is come to terms with it, rise above it. If there is a lot of pain in your life right now, then this is the ... (read in full...)
Sex is not as much fun for me as it is for him!
Q. Ok, so here it is I have been in the same relationship with the same guy for over a year now and i get super wet im talkin like really wet drippin wet were if i stand up its drippin down my leg and he thinks its all sexya nd stuff and well it really ...
A. 30 January 2010: Firstly, there's nothing wrong with you.
Secondly, he, like all men, will need guiding to what you want. Which means you need to know what you want. Which means you need to experiment with yourself. Unless you know what you want and what you need... (read in full...)
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