| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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I am tired of my boyfriend being too relaxed on the weekends to go out.
Q. I have a demanding 4 year old boy and a boyfriend of 1 year. We see each other twice a week. Half of the time he calls to say his shift happens to be short that day so he could see me. The other times we call on the weekends and hope we would meet ...
A. 1 February 2010: From another guy's point of view, I have to say that he just doesn't seem that into you other than as a casual partner. A guy who really loves you and cares for you makes a real effort, against all the odds. He just isn't doing that at all. He just ... (read in full...)
Should I tell him my REAL age?
Q. hey you guys i have a question that i want to ask im 14 soon to be 15 in june and my boyfriend is younger than i am i want to tell himm that im older than him but im way to scared that he might reject me becuse of that. please tell me how should i ...
A. 1 February 2010: You need to tell him the truth. But seriously, 9 months isn't bad at all. ... (read in full...)
Why is she distancing herself from me?
Q. I am a middle aged female. My very best friend is also a middle aged female. She say's she has had low self-esteem all of her life. What I don't understand about low self-esteem in regards to my friend, is when she thinks I am distancing myself or ...
A. 1 February 2010: I know it's confusing. All you can do is carry on. I wouldn't be too quick to send her those emails either. They are her 'fix', if you like. She's a woman who needs to feel needed, or she's worried she's worthless. There is nothing you can do about ... (read in full...)
My sex life is just one big stress!!!
Q. I am soo stressed about this. I'm very young but I love my bf. I don't know if I should wait or go for it but I have a feeling that this time is right to have sex but when it comes to this I get very stressed out I tremble and I can't breathe. I ...
A. 1 February 2010: The time isn't right for you at all. Firstly you're too young (by one year), and secondly the fact that you're this worried proves you're really not ready for it. Wait, give it more time. ... (read in full...)
How do other couples spend time together and feel connected when it's just a lazy winter day and there's really nothing to do?
Q. Puzzled by b/f's behavior. This happens a lot. We're stuck inside. B/F is surfing the web on his laptop. I sit on the couch with him, and play a video game with volume turned off. After an hour he wants to watch TV. So I turn off the game but can't ...
A. 1 February 2010: I either sit there talking to my girlfriend, or we go out for a walk together, or we do something like cook. The point being, do something together. Cook a meal. ... (read in full...)
Please help me, I'm so confused...
Q. I met my ex on a dating site after a few months of chatting. We decided to meet our first date went very and end up dating. For nearly a year all was going well until I went out one night I was raped was a virgin. After that I went through ...
A. 1 February 2010: I am sorry that you suffered so badly.
First of all, this ex of yours just isn't the right guy. You have changed, and the love isn't there. It is very wrong of him to try and emotionally blackmail you into going back out with him. So don't do it. ... (read in full...)
Is he more attached than he let on??
Q. Hello: My boss is like 44 yrs old. He is very immature.. Well, I have been pulling away from him for some time because of an attraction between us. Needless to say - It went to HR. He asked to stay cordial with me and wanted us to sti...
A. 31 January 2010: It won't blow over. This is about him now getting revenge because you turned him down. Go back to HR, and this time file another complaint and tell them that if it's not sorted, you'll get a lawyer. And mean it. Don't take this kind of crap from ... (read in full...)
Why do men like anal sex so much?
Q. I have a question for the guys. Why do men like anal. And why do men like to play with women's buttholes. ...
A. 31 January 2010: Not every guy does. But mostly it's because it's 'forbidden', or seemingly 'naughty' or 'wrong'. ... (read in full...)
Your advice is needed. I don't know what to do for the best... for me!!!
Q. Hi, Thank you for reading my email. I hope it makes sense and you can help me. Ok so i have been in a relationship for around 3 years now, we were due to get a house but broke up last Monday. It was my own fault i suppose, my girlfriend had d...
A. 31 January 2010: Seems to me that the truth is this girl isn't the 'one'. Let's face it, if she was, you would have taken her back, and you probably wouldn't have sent all those texts in the first place. I think you're in a place where you would do better to focus ... (read in full...)
His anger problems are tearing us apart...
Q. My bf and I have been together for 3 years collectively now. I've broken up with him before because of his uncontrolled anger problem. He gets angry at the smallest things and then I have to try and calm him down. Usually when he gets angry it ...
A. 31 January 2010: He's had his second chance. That's it. You gave him his first chance, and you ended up breaking with him for this reason. You then took him back, and nothing has changed except he has got worse. This is not safe. He's had to chances. Don't waste any ... (read in full...)
I broke his trust... how can I make this better?
Q. Okay, so I am a senior in high school and so is my boyfriend and we are both almost 18. We have been together since we were freshmen and our three year anniversary is coming up. Our first time having sex wasn't planned at all and this happene...
A. 31 January 2010: All you can do is say you're sorry, and ask that he forgives you for it. Just be there, listen to him and say that you will not blow a second chance. I'm not saying it will work, but this isn't really as huge as it seems. Just say sorry, keep saying ... (read in full...)
Why is she distancing herself from me?
Q. I am a middle aged female. My very best friend is also a middle aged female. She say's she has had low self-esteem all of her life. What I don't understand about low self-esteem in regards to my friend, is when she thinks I am distancing myself or ...
A. 31 January 2010: They do. Low self esteem can manifest itself in a variety of ways. Some people become very clingy, others become angry or jealous, and some distance themselves in fear of getting to close and getting hurt. However, this is her problem, not yours. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has an anger problem and I'm worried about my unborn child
Q. im pregnant and worried about by boyfriends anger. been to the doctor as he has hit me in the stomach and i am worried bout hurting my baby. my friends say i should leave him! i don't know what to do. please help ...
A. 31 January 2010: Sweetie, I know you love him, but he punched you in the stomach and could have killed your baby. That doesn't make him a good father. That makes it that he almost killed your baby. I know you don't want to go, and I know you hope it will get better, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has an anger problem and I'm worried about my unborn child
Q. im pregnant and worried about by boyfriends anger. been to the doctor as he has hit me in the stomach and i am worried bout hurting my baby. my friends say i should leave him! i don't know what to do. please help ...
A. 31 January 2010: Still leave him and tell your family you're pregnant. Don't feel bad. You'll feel even worse if he hits you and kills your baby,... (read in full...)
I text him, he says he doesn't know who I am, or that he doesn't want to talk, and yet I still wonder if he could be interested in me
Q. Hi everyone help needed please, i like this guy and we got on really wel, anyway we stopped talking for a reason i cant really explian 2 u it wasnt bad but he didnt belive that it was not me, Anyway everynow and then i text him sometimes he rel...
A. 31 January 2010: I know you don't want to hear this, but here goes. This man isn't interested in you in the slightest, and he's being very soft about not telling you. If he was interested, he would jump at the chance to get to know you. Take it from another man, ... (read in full...)
Broke up with my ex and he says he still loves me, but how can he if he isnt with me?
Q. Me and my ex slpit 5 months ago. he admitted he had feelings for someone else so we broke up. We had been together a year. Shortly after that he got together with this girl and they're still together now. Thing is, we've pretty much spoken every day ...
A. 31 January 2010: He's doing it because he revels in the fact you are there giving him this attention. He doesn't love you at all. You're right, if he did he would be with you. He's just keeping you there as a spare. So now you have to delete his numbers, delete his ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has an anger problem and I'm worried about my unborn child
Q. im pregnant and worried about by boyfriends anger. been to the doctor as he has hit me in the stomach and i am worried bout hurting my baby. my friends say i should leave him! i don't know what to do. please help ...
A. 31 January 2010: You need to leave him. A punch to the stomach can kill a baby, and the stress you feel around him will cause the baby to feel stress as well. You mist leave, even if it's just to go to a hostel. ... (read in full...)
Bad relationship with my husbands kids! How can I change things?
Q. Several years ago I got involved with an older, married man. At the time I thought it was simply a short fling, but it developed into a relationship that eventually led to him leaving his wife. I do not feel the need to go into the 'gritty' ...
A. 31 January 2010: You can't. The reason? Because you had an affair with their Dad, and hurt there mother. They will not forgive or forget that. You sit there, and you say all his family are brats. You say his wife is a brat, you say his daughter is a brat, you say ... (read in full...)
How can I stop comparing our relationship to others?
Q. I really need some advice. I can't stop comparing my relationship to others and i am becoming increasingly more jealous of other girls around my boyfriend. I don't know why i do it and its really getting me down...i keep taking it out on m...
A. 31 January 2010: Yes. If you want your boyfriend to be more considerate and romantic, then gently tell him. You can see there is something lacking between you two, and the only thing you can do is is try to talk to him about it. Hopefully, he'll listen to you.... (read in full...)
I sort of like this guy and we kissed while drunk, but he has a girlfriend! what should I do?
Q. A few months ago I kissed a guy, we were both quite drunk, well really drunk. He goes to my college, and is in a few of my classes. It was really awkward for a while, but it's alright now. Anyway, I didn't know that he had a girlfriend, wh...
A. 31 January 2010: If he had a girlfriend and cheated, stay well away from him, because he will do it to you as well. I think you can afford to wait for a better guy. ... (read in full...)
Telling my bf I am not in love with him anymore will devastate him...how do I break the news?
Q. i am realli confused! i have been dating the same man for four and a half years now. i love him to bits and do not like hurting him i feel that i am not in love with him anymore, because there is a difference between loving someone and bein...
A. 31 January 2010: Just break with him. You've been cheating ion him for five months. Ge it over and done with. Tell him he'a a good guy, but that you're not the girl for him, and then cut all contact.... (read in full...)
Should I dump him and move on or give him another chance?
Q. I have been dating this guy for two years and its been on the rocks since day one. We developed a relationship from a one night stand.To make matters worse I found out several months later that I was a part of him cheating on his at that time, ...
A. 31 January 2010: He cheated on one girlfriend with you. Now he's cheating on you. Says it all. Don't give this man another moment of your time.... (read in full...)
He flipped out when I answered his phone. Is his anger justified?
Q. Tonight, I was playing a game on my boyfriend's cell phone. A private number called, so I handed him the phone. He pressed the ignore button, which ended the call. I went back to my game, and the private number called back about a minute later. I ...
A. 31 January 2010: He's cheating on you. ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when someone only calls you talk about their problems?
Q. When you meet someone and get into a relationship with them while they're going through a rough time, but then they finally come out of it a while after you break up (they are finally improving their life and are happier), and they used to call you ...
A. 31 January 2010: It means this person is using you for emotional support and nothing else.... (read in full...)
Is she acting differently because of what I said?
Q. If a woman is interested in a man, might she change the way she acts based on what he says? For example, I said "you're awfully confident today." and the next time I saw her she was embarrassingly over-confident toward me. It was charming. I don...
A. 31 January 2010: Yes, she might change. Give someone a compliment, and they'll do it more often.... (read in full...)
Never thought I'd fall for a married man...super confused here!
Q. I never thought I'd fall for a married man! I didn't intend for things to get so heavy.I work in the same building and see him everyday..he just told me he wants to end our affair of only 1 month. Yet on the weekend he texts me and sends me pics of ...
A. 31 January 2010: This is a guy's way of making sure don't go away, just in case he needs another fix. It's likely his wife suspected something, so he's cooled it down. Now ask yourself a question. Do you want to be second best to a married man, who do you want to ... (read in full...)
He calls me names and he has stopped taking care of himself. Should I dump him?
Q. My boyfriend calls me a bitch sometimes when he's mad. We've been together for 4 years now, but we just got back together at the end of October after I broke up with him for 3 months. One of the agreements for us to be a couple again was that he ...
A. 31 January 2010: You've go to let him go. He treats you really badly, and clearly has issues, and you've already broken up before, which means it wasn't working out. You can do better than him. You can't fix it, you can't change him, and you would be naive to think ... (read in full...)
It seemed great, and then he doesn't want to go out. Was it just for sex?
Q. I just got dumped by a guy I really liked after less than a month. Things seemed great at first as we had a lot in common and our personalities really seemed to click. After two weeks he suddenly seemed distant, but when I asked if something was ...
A. 31 January 2010: It could have been just for sex, or you could have been a rebound. Either way, keep him out of your life.... (read in full...)
Mom is disappointed I went to a club instead of the movies. Am I a bad person for telling the truth?
Q. Hey you guys,i kno it has been a while and I have missed you all.Ok,last weekend was my cousins birthday and she decided to go to a club afterwards.I had an eerie feeling about it but mi cousins convinced me not to be scared(being that i'm only 16 ...
A. 31 January 2010: No,you're not a bad person. You're a normal teenage girl. Lots of teens have done this before, lots will in the future. I bet you a million that at some point your mum did it herself when she was younger. She's just looking out for you, but you're ... (read in full...)
He accuses me of cheating everytime I go overseas! What can I do?
Q. I have a seven years old relationship with a gentleman who is accusing me of being unfaithful to him everytime i travelled overseas. I went overseas three times since we are together and he thinks i am having sexual intercourse with guys in those ...
A. 31 January 2010: Keep on breaking up. Its clear this man has serious issues he needs to attend to. You could spend the rest of your life trying to convince him, and he still won't believe it.... (read in full...)
He told me he's territorial and doesn't want me hanging out with other guys! What does he mean?
Q. hey i gotta question whats it mean when my boyfriend tells me that he doesn't want me hanging with other guys or really talking to them.....he told me hes territorial...??...
A. 31 January 2010: You need to end it with this guy. He's telling you he wants to control you. Don't allow that. ... (read in full...)
I want her but she has a bf! Any advice on how to make her mine?
Q. Never really knew what I wanted in a Girl, but now i do. The only thing is she already has a boyfriend. Another thing to add is she already knows i like her. Im in desperate need of help and any advice on how to make her mine. Any tips?...
A. 31 January 2010: Sorry, you've got to get over her. First of all, she has a boyfriend, and secondly, if she knows you like her and she hasn't dumped her boyfriend for you, then she's not interested.... (read in full...)
I think he has feelings for another girl! How do I talk to him about it?
Q. I think my boyfriend has feelings for another girl... Should I talk to him about it? What would I say if I talk to him about it? HELP!!!...
A. 31 January 2010: First of all, what makes you think that?... (read in full...)
Is love supposed to hurt?
Q. I need some major advise i am so confused i wonder at times is love suppose to hurt? i have two daughters with two different men and the last man was almost perfect except for the fact that he didnt work..he was so nice understanding and romantic ...
A. 31 January 2010: Love only hurts when it's going wrong. And this is going wrong. This guy is making fun of you, controlling you, hurting you for no reason. You should move on from this guy.... (read in full...)
My friends think I am just a booty call. Am I?
Q. I've known a guy through a mutual friend for 2 years. We have slept together 4 times. After each time, I would send a general message, from a friend to a friend asking how things were going, but I would receive no reply. From what it seems, he ...
A. 31 January 2010: Your friends are right. You are a booty call. Notice how he said he wanted a girlfriend, reeled you in a bit more, then said he'd changed his mind? Classic. And he never replies to texts? Another classic. Every sign is there that shows you're a ... (read in full...)
Given his ex is on the scene should I even be considering marriage?
Q. My fiance continues to talk with his ex. I believe it is her that initiates the contact. I've read his emails to find this out. She says things like, I miss you more than ever and I miss you so much I could puke. It has been 3 years since they hav...
A. 31 January 2010: You're much better off moving on from him now. His contact with his ex is really quite cruel, since he seems to be stringing her along a lot and she certainly isn't over him. And he hasn't said anything about you to her. You're right, what happens ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid to kiss him coz I can't stand his gross teeth.
Q. okay, my boyfriend is amazing and sweet and i really like him but im afraid to kiss him to tell you the truth his teeth are gross and i just cant stand them but i want to kiss him but idk wat to do. should i kiss him and see how it goes first or...
A. 31 January 2010: I think Gina's advice is sound. Guys have seriously fragile egos, so I think it you take mints along and such, you should be okay and hopefully he'll get the message. ... (read in full...)
Is he Gay or am I Crazzzy?
Q. I hate to think this way because I love my boyfriend with every beat of my heary buuuut there's a few things I'm starting to wonder about latley. ((Hopefully I'm wrong)) Ok so my bf and I have been together for nearly 4 years. This is my First ...
A. 31 January 2010: We need to know what you mean by 'acts guy with friends.' He might be gay, but he might also be totally selfish and not that into you. ... (read in full...)
To move on or not when we have trust issues?
Q. We are having trust issues because he decided to bring a girl home, got touchy feely with her and in his bed. Then he updates her with his new number after swearing he is not going to have anything to do with her again. I went through his phone ...
A. 31 January 2010: I'll tell you what to believe. Believe his actions, because they're not lying. His words are lies, but his actions are telling you everything you need to know about him. He brought another woman home, got touchy feely with her and went to bed with ... (read in full...)
I got my sis to speak to my wife about sending money to another man. Now she says I can thank my sis for her dirvorcing me.
Q. Hi everyone...im in alot of confusion and disbelief... ok so on monday the 26th my wife used my credit card to send money to some guy names Ivan...so i texted my 2 of my sisters and asked them to ask her what was going on cause i tried texting ...
A. 31 January 2010: The lady doth protest too much, as was once written. The point being your wife is doing a serious amount of blaming everyone else without taking her own actions into account. Firstly, stop regretting. This isn't really your fault. Your wife is one a ... (read in full...)
We are not exclusive..so how can I get to the point of being able to date other people?
Q. Hello, everyone. I've been seeing this guy on and off for just under a year, and we've had some issues. He's very apt to spend days, sometimes weeks without calling me or seeing me, and this is a long distance relationship, so talking daily means ...
A. 31 January 2010: He does, because he wants nothing more than a casual relationship. You can't just date, because you want more. The answer is you need to let him go and move on if you want to date other people. ... (read in full...)
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