| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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My fiance and I are having some serious issues, please help
Q. My fiance and I have been having some issues lately. First, let me say, I want advice on how to make it work, or at least try, I don't want to be told to just "give up." I want to try everything I can before we just call it quits because we do love ...
A. 3 March 2010: No disrespect, and I know you didn't want to hear this, but you have done everything you can. There isn't anything left that you can do. I can't think of anything to suggest, because you've already done it all. Re-read your post, and you'll see what ... (read in full...)
Is three years too long not to be committed?
Q. Is three years too long to be in a friendship/relationship with a man, without committing to an real relationship?...
A. 3 March 2010: Far too long. I'd suggest to you that he's more interested in a casual relationship than something committed after 3 years.... (read in full...)
Would you stay with someone who has issues and try to repair things or leave?
Q. Hi Aunts and Uncles, I'm really hoping for some help because my situation is distressing me and I'm lost and need guidance on how to proceed. I was in a long term relationship since 2003 then we split up in Spring 2008 but spoke to each other ...
A. 3 March 2010: It never ceases to amaze me how many people go on about the 'real person', or that he/she is a 'caring person really, but is just angry the rest of the time'. You do know the real him, The real him is a man who is angry, verbally abusive, insecure ... (read in full...)
I show my wife affection but get nothing back in return...
Q. I'm a 32 year old man turning 33 this year. My wife is 28. We will be married 7 years on March 29th. We have our Ups and downs like in many other marraiges I hear about. We are now attending counseling because it has been a rough journey. On ...
A. 3 March 2010: I think there is something you can do. It's great that you initiated everything, and great you show her affection. But actually ask her what she wants of you. And listen to her. Lots of men try, but because of the difference in communication, don't ... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend, but I want to experience other relationships. What should I do?
Q. I'm 22 years old. My boyfriend and I have been together for a nearly 2 years. We'll call him 'Steve'. I do love him, and I enjoy being with him. My problem is that lately I've been feeling like I want to experience other relationships. S...
A. 3 March 2010: There is one question that you need to ask yourself honestly. Yes, you love Steve, yes, you love being with him. But the question is this. And be honest with yourself about it. Is this man Steve the man you want to spend the rest of your life with? ... (read in full...)
Why does teenage romance hurt like hell?
Q. Why does teenage romance hurt like hell? Well, that's just about it for this question. For once, i don't have much to say....
A. 3 March 2010: All romance hurts like hell when it goes wrong, not just teenage romance. But as you grown older and more experienced you'll be able to come to terms with hurt more. And one day you'll meet a nice lady who'll love you. ... (read in full...)
How do I bring up that I don't like it when he calls me names when we fight? I don't want to seem like I am attacking him
Q. my bf and i love each other a lot but sometime when we fight he tells me im being a bitch. its not often at all but i try not to call him name when we fight. it has really started bothering me so should i say something to him? and how do i bring it ...
A. 3 March 2010: You tell him straight to stop calling you a bitch. Don't take it, or this will get worse and worse. ... (read in full...)
Love triangle with my boyfriend's best friend
Q. I have a boyfriend who absolutely adores me. I really like him too. He is so hot it's not even a funny. But one of my best friends and I are really attracted to each other. He is 100 times hotter than my boyfriend. He is really sweet and considering ...
A. 3 March 2010: You are nowhere near ready for any kind of relationship. All I have read so far is how you have based everything on looks. You claim your boyfriend is hot, and you claim he adores you. Yet you insult his penis size and have sex with his best friend ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's mom called me ugly for no reason
Q. My boyfriend does NOT have a good relationship with his mother. It stemmed from when he was about 13 and she whipped him for no reason (he claims). He doesn't communicate with her, and now that he's 18 it comes off as if he's using her for housing ...
A. 3 March 2010: You have to rise above it. Sounds to me like she's a bit of a nightmare. so rise above it all, realize you're not ugly and you're better than that, and just continue as you are. At least you know one thing, your boyfriend sticks up for you. ... (read in full...)
I don't have a date to the dance.
Q. I have a dance coming up. 8th grade formal... But im afraid I won't get asked to go with someone and even though I'll have my bff to be there with me, itll still kill me inside to see everyone else having someone with them, and then im alone just ...
A. 3 March 2010: If you like a guy, ask him. This isn't the good old days where men are required to do all the chasing. It can work both ways now. no need to wait.... (read in full...)
Is he just planning on using me?
Q. hello, i was with my boyfriend for three years, in that time he cheated twice, and also dumped me once before he finally dumped me again. His reason being that he just did not have the time and money to come and see me, although i was travelli...
A. 3 March 2010: He's 'got a puppy', he 'misses' you, he 'likes his work'. God almighty he's laying the crap on isn't he!? This is a man who has cheated twice, dumped you twice, one of those times on your birthday, and slept with you as soon as you let your guard ... (read in full...)
Why is it when you are single you see couples more frequently?
Q. So here is a simple question that I thought I might ask, since I haven't been able to find it yet... Why does it seem that when you are single, and the longer you have been, the more and more sex and couples start to appear? It's pretty wel...
A. 3 March 2010: Because you look for what you want, and see what you want.... (read in full...)
Lost attraction for boyfriend and loving a guy with possibly too much baggage.
Q. Hey everyone, I wrote recently about my situation and now I have another question pertaining to it. To summarize, I am dating a man whom I do not love but who is a fantastic guy, treats me great, etc. It's just not there. Now, I've fallen for ...
A. 3 March 2010: This is a classic 'nice guy/bad boy' thing. Your nice guy boyfriend isn't exciting, but this guy who has all that baggage is a massively bad bet, especially if you want to try and help. Don't go with someone to help them. Because you can't. You ... (read in full...)
Was the reason he said he loved me because he was drinking?
Q. i have been seeing this guy. He has told me two times that he loves me. But, the next day he won't talk to me. We didn't have sex so i know that is not the reason. This time it was on the phone. he did go out with his buddies and had a couple of ...
A. 3 March 2010: Unless he says it to your face whilst sober, be careful. He might be very shy in saying it to you when sober, or he might be saying a little too much. I suggest you talk to him about it... (read in full...)
Is there any way to change the taste of ejaculate?
Q. what can I do for my cum taste better? what can I do for change it. ...
A. 3 March 2010: You can't really do much, though I have been told that eating fruit and cutting down on salty food and fast food can make a small difference.... (read in full...)
Should I give more time into this 'just sex' relationship?
Q. both come out os long term relationships and both have children. We have been having sex for a year with no ties he says he cares and like me alot but it is just sex. We get on great and a really good friends. Do I give this anymore time.I feel safe ...
A. 3 March 2010: He has said it is sex, and nothing more. If you are looking for more, then you need to move on from him now.... (read in full...)
Is he really just not naturally affectionate or is it just me?
Q. So i just started seeing my best friend. its been a very confusing relationship and its not been plain sailing but we have just kind of got together after 2 and a half years of messing around. The thing is im Very affectionate i just want to touch ...
A. 3 March 2010: He just doesn't seem to be an openly affectionate guy. It can be hard for men to let go of the 'macho' image and be really affectionate. Maybe your boyfriend was brought up in a household that just wasn't affectionate. He's not ashamed of you. He ... (read in full...)
Does the fact that he constantly checks up on me via Facebook mean anything?
Q. What if you found out the guy/girl you like, has been constantly viewing your profile on facebook with profile checker, they were in your top 10, what would you think of this?...
A. 3 March 2010: Maybe he/she is a secret admirer, or maybe they're interested in what you're up to.... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend, but why do I still feel like I love my ex as well?
Q. I'm in a stable relationship with my boyfriend of a year and we have a son together. I recently started having feelings for him the more we text. Now i'm in love with both my boyfriend and my ex, but, my ex catches the most of them. Recently...
A. 3 March 2010: The reason you still love him is that you're not allowing yourself to move on. Unless you cut contact, this will end in hurt for you, your boyfriend and your son. People can very rarely be friends with ex's for this reason. It doesn't allow time to ... (read in full...)
Why wouldn't he finish while I was giving him a handjob?
Q. Okay, well I gave my boyfriend a handjob. I know he was totally turned on from it. He was hard for a realllyy long time. But he wouldn't cum? He said everytime I almost had it but he just wouldn't. Is there any reasons for this?...
A. 3 March 2010: He may have been nervous, or his mind might have been elsewhere. Whatever it was, it's no big deal. It;s not your fault, and it's not his. It just happens sometimes, and unless it happens over and over again, there is nothing to worry about. ... (read in full...)
How do I cope with my very first break up?
Q. Dont really know where to start, I'm 26 cant really say i have had a 'proper' relationship until i met the guy i've been with for just under a year now. Throughout my life i've had various problems which have caused emotional/borderline-ment...
A. 3 March 2010: Well all for you saying you have problems, you're one of the first people on here who is actually thinking logically and clearly about it all. Usually when it comes to cheating people like to think it will go away, or that they can give second or ... (read in full...)
I feel I may have reacted to her cheating badly
Q. am i wrong for what i did? i was dating a girl that left her boyfriend for me... all along saying how crazy he was and how much she wished he would leave her alone... at first things were great she was ALL about me we started spending Alot of time ...
A. 3 March 2010: No, you've done the right thing by telling her this. Now you know what kind of a girl she is. She lied and cheated. Never bother with her again.... (read in full...)
He wants to get married but I am his first serious girlfriend!
Q. my boyfriend and i are in our 20s, 22 and 23. he wants to marry me but my question is that this is his first serious relationship, but not mine. in fact he was a virgin before me. i wasnt. i love him but am worrying he will feel like he missed out ...
A. 2 March 2010: He won't if he loves you. Simple as that. And to be honest, it sounds like he does. Maybe he was waiting for Miss Right, and maybe he found her!... (read in full...)
Does this sound like I have an eating disorder?
Q. It seems to have been a really long time since I last wrote in. I don't know how long it's been. This time though, my whole life is totally out of my control. My only way to control it is not to eat, I've lost a stone in 2 weeks, and I'm frequently ...
A. 2 March 2010: I think you do, especially if you are becoming dizzy and certainly if you've lost a stone in two weeks. Well done for coming here and asking for help, it's a good start. I don't mean to scare you when I say this, but I know someone who had an eating ... (read in full...)
I think he may be cheating with an ex, but every time I ask he has an excuse for everything!
Q. so ive been with my boyfriend for a year and a half last year in march his ex girlfriend that he was with for 3 years called me telling me that in november(a month into us going out) he cheated on me and she didnt know he had a girlfriend. i asked ...
A. 2 March 2010: Let's cut to the chase, as it were. You've previously found texts saying 'I love you too', and you always find that he has texted her because her number is on his phone. He's clearly doing something with her, so just tell him it's over and move on ... (read in full...)
I need him, but I am just not in love with him.
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly a year. There were no fireworks when we met but he grew on me through his kind personality. We slowely became close but I always felt that he was not ultimately the one for me. He is incredible thoughtful, ...
A. 2 March 2010: In truth, you need to end it if you feel this way. I'm sure it's wonderful to have a man like that in your life, but if there is no love then both of you are just wasting time. The fact is that there will be a woman out there who loves him, and ... (read in full...)
My bestfriends boyfriend likes me and I like him, what should we do?
Q. okay so my bestfriends boyfriend likes me and i like him. we always look at each other with "the look" when were hanging out and sometimes we touch each other when were with his girlfriend too but we can both tell we like each other. yesterday was ...
A. 2 March 2010: I wont' ask you the obvious question that you have already thought about. I'll ask you the smarter one. How could you trust a guy who was willing to cheat on his girlfriend with her best friend? The answer is you couldn't. He would without a doubt ... (read in full...)
He cheated and lied but says that he has changed. should I give him another chance?
Q. I have tossed and turned everynight now for about a month over the same problem. So hopefully someone out there will be able to give the right and honest advice to help me thru it.. Okayy.. Its been about 6 months since me and my ex broke up.. We...
A. 2 March 2010: Why settle for a guy who cheated on you and is now just telling you what you want to hear, when you can find a man who wont' cheat and will actually love you. You're still young. Find a better guy and leave this one in the past. Sending you sweet ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has stolen from me but I can't prove it!
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now. Our relationship has not been great. He drinks constantly and I know he has messed with drugs since we have been together. He got laid off from his job and gets unemployment but still says he ...
A. 2 March 2010: Girl, it is time to move on now. Stop waiting for him to change into a decent guy. Accept he is a drunk druggie who has nicked your money, and just get away from him. Say nothing, just go. It's time to move on with your life and find a man who ... (read in full...)
Help! Did I make the right choice???
Q. Help My boyfriend fraser dumped me on friday and then asked me back out sunday night but i rejected him and then asked me out today and i said yes. i guess i really missed him but the thing is that he really hurt me emotionally. But this boy cal...
A. 2 March 2010: You shouldn't be with any of these guys because you don't really know what you want! There is no rush to go into a relationship at this time. You would do better to spend time alone and really work out what you want from your life.... (read in full...)
Is this what I think it is?
Q. I am 40 years old, but I can pass for a twenty something student. I ended a 10 year relationship two years ago. Afterwards I did the whole dating thing Internet, friend setups blind date, even the call the ex late at night for a booty call...I was ...
A. 2 March 2010: I think he likes you, but it might be that he likes the idea of being an older woman, rather than something more permanent. I would suggest getting to know him more before you make any decisions. ... (read in full...)
How often do men like to have sex in one night???
Q. How often do men like to have sex in one night? Would most guys be pleased if a girl liked to have sex a few times? Me and my new bf had sex 5 times our first night together - he said i was incredible. i thought it was great too but i heard that ...
A. 2 March 2010: I'm 100& certain that your boyfriend is having the time of his life.... (read in full...)
Is it possible I am pregnant? We were very cautious so I don't see how this could happen!
Q. I had sex on the 20th of Feb, and we used protection of course, and i even checked if there were any holes in it by filling it with water. my period is due real soon and yesterday i felt like i had it all day but i didnt, and today ive been getting ...
A. 2 March 2010: I'm pretty sure you're not pregnant. but if you are in doubt at all, take a test. Though to be honest, I don't think you're pregnant.... (read in full...)
My wife left me for no reason and now she's refusing to talk to me
Q. My wife left me on Valentine's day for no apparent reason and now she is refusing my calls and pretending I don't exist. She has had a torrid life, her partner died in her arms when she was 23, then had a relationship with a dominating and abusive ...
A. 2 March 2010: This isn't PMT. No way. Re-read what you've written and you'll see what has happened. This is a woman who has had a partner who had died, a partner who abused her, 3 miscarriages everyone probably saying that it's all just PMT. She is so confused, ... (read in full...)
I slept with my ex and now he is blackmailing me claiming he will tell my boyfriend!
Q. i was in a relationship with a physco he got angry a lot, and destroyed me emotionally as well. he stopped me seeing my friends and told me who i was and wasnt allowed to see. and got rid of all my friends. i found a new guy hes amazing, i left my ...
A. 2 March 2010: Well I know you've asked yourself this, but what on earth were you thinking!? That aside, because I know you've tortured yourself enough about that, you have no option but to tell your boyfriend because if you don't and this other guy does, you'll ... (read in full...)
I don't love him and its making me depressed to keep on pretending. What do I do?
Q. I dont fancy my boyfriend anymore. Well ive never really thought he gorgeous not a 100% anyway. I thought i did love him and thought it would grow in time but it hasnt weve been together 5 months. Hes besotted with me and loves me totally and i feel ...
A. 2 March 2010: If you don't love him, you need to leave him. I'd also suggest that you see a counsellor and really work on your esteem and life again, as losing a baby can be a huge shock. Take your time, don't rush and really spend time on yourself. But no matter ... (read in full...)
Pregnant, but wish it was my ex's!
Q. I am in a tricky situation. I split up with my ex Tim, who I dated for 4 years, 3 months ago but we have remained friends. I was 2 timing him for a few months (which he doesn't know about, and for which I am truely sorry). I have been dating Ed ...
A. 2 March 2010: Tim is unlikely to take you back now that you are pregnant with another man's child, and certainly if he found out you had been two timing (which is likely to happen, these things do come out) he would be very hurt. As for Ed, I think you now know ... (read in full...)
How can I be there for my little sister now her dad has died depsite us not being very close?
Q. hi my younger sister who is nine not yet ten, father died last night we both have different dads. im 18 and we dont have a great relationship if even a relationship. shes not taking the death very well and of course everybody is worried about her ...
A. 2 March 2010: No one can tell you other than her. The advice you're being offered by your family isn't all that good to be honest. You're not the only one who needs to help her get through this, you're one of many. I think though, that this is an opportunity to ... (read in full...)
Should the girl always make the first move when it comes to sex?
Q. Should it be right for the girl to always make the first move when it comes to sex?? I have been seeing my boyfriend now for just over 2 months and he's 28. I wouldn't necessarily say that he's shy however some nights when i go down to see him we ...
A. 2 March 2010: A lot of men assume that a woman wouldn't be interested if he suddenly made a move, as there are so many stories out there about women who say no, or turn over with a headache. What is forgotten is that there are more women who would like to have a ... (read in full...)
How important is it to men that women take care of themselves? And should she take care of the house too?
Q. do guys think it is important for a woman to take care of herself? i mean like always looking good, having her hair done and nails done? or would they think that she is too high maintenance and be put off?? also when a guy moves in with a girl i...
A. 2 March 2010: It's important for a woman to take care of herself, but for own her sake more than a man's. If a woman doesn't take care of herself and isn't happy with herself, the right man will assume that she's unhappy and will avoid her. So the most important ... (read in full...)
Why did he decide to ignore me for so long?
Q. I was seeing a guy I really like before I went to Thailand for a month, came home and seen him once.. then he didnt contact me again... up until a few days ago 3/4 weeks later) He always called me on private number so although I deleted his numb...
A. 2 March 2010: I think you were right to move on. He didn't contact you for nearly a month, so it was cleat that something had changed. Better to move on than to have an unreliable man in your life.... (read in full...)
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