| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Why did he decide to ignore me for so long?
Q. I was seeing a guy I really like before I went to Thailand for a month, came home and seen him once.. then he didnt contact me again... up until a few days ago 3/4 weeks later) He always called me on private number so although I deleted his numb...
A. 2 March 2010: I think you were right to move on. He didn't contact you for nearly a month, so it was cleat that something had changed. Better to move on than to have an unreliable man in your life.... (read in full...)
My old friend is leaving his wife for me, but I don't want to be known as a homewrecker
Q. Ok, when I was a senior in high school my best friend was a guy named "Jay". We were inseparable, we both kinda had a crush on each other but neither wanted to ruin the friendship that we had. All through college we stayed close friends and then...
A. 2 March 2010: There is a major issue here that you haven't perhaps seen. He married this woman, and has cheated. That means that he can cheat on you. Think very carefully about whether you want to live with a man who was willing to cheat. Because if the chance ... (read in full...)
Does it sound like my ex is angry with me?
Q. My boyfriend and I broke up a month ago. We dated for a year and 8 months. We broke up because he is suffering from depression. Since the break up we have seen each other once and we text every couple days. He said I was the best he had but ...
A. 2 March 2010: Let him get on with it. Don't say anything to him, let him come to you. ... (read in full...)
Tips on controlling my outburst during an orgasm
Q. okay, so here it goes. i am 13 and have recently started masturbating. i have orgasms every single time and its hard not to moan or sometimes scream with pleasure! i usually do it when my parents are asleep or when im by myself. do you know any...
A. 2 March 2010: Bite on a pillow. But certainly don't suppress it by holding your mouth shut! ... (read in full...)
Do guys feel it when a girl orgasms?
Q. Do guys feel it when a girl orgasms? Do they feel the contractions, or anything else? Since I'm not a guy, I've wanted to know the answer to this for a long time. ...
A. 2 March 2010: Depends on the two people involved, and it also depends on the strength of the orgasm. The more intense the orgasm is, the more tense a woman will be. I've certainly felt it with my girlfriend, but it certainly depends on how intense her orgasm is. ... (read in full...)
Feeling ready to give my virginity to him.
Q. i am a virgin and i have very strong feelings for my boyfriend. we have know each other for all most a year now and i think that he may be the one i lose my virginity to. how do i get him to see that i am ready to give myself over to him without ...
A. 2 March 2010: You have very strong feelings, but you don't say 'love'. And you 'think he may be the one you want to lose it to'. I'd suggest that you're not as ready as you'd like to think. Slow down, there is no rush. ... (read in full...)
Wanting a relationship, not friends with benifits.
Q. So me and this boy have been messing around for almost a year...i havnt done anything with anybody else and he hasnt either and he lives at my house.wouldnt you call that a relationship? because to him we are still friends with benifits (i think ...
A. 2 March 2010: Sounds like he's just having his cake and eating it to me. It's worth talking to him about going exclusive, but don't hold your breath. Talk to him and see what he says.... (read in full...)
Alone and scared hoping to find some Assistance/Guidance.
Q. I was cheating on my wife and "think" I left her to be with the other woman. Subsequently, things didn't work out with the woman I left my wife for, so she leaves me. Thus, I almost immediately begin thinking about my wife and all the good times ...
A. 2 March 2010: I think the sight of both women moving on from you has hit you because you're alone. There were clearly problems in the marriage, and clearly problems with this new woman. So my advice for now is to stay single and work on yourself. Work on your ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has posted a picture of me - bikini clad- on his facebook and now it's attracting unwelcome attention
Q. My boyfriend decided to post a page of me on tagged. With pictures of me on my bathing suit. It is attracting all sorts of pervets to the page some much older men. I don't like it. One his friends has now seen the page and I find this shameful. I ...
A. 2 March 2010: You need to be tough, or next time he'll be throwing naked pictures of you around everywhere. Tell him to delete it or you'll get rid of him. And mean it. Otherwise you'll spend your life doing everything his way and being bullied. ... (read in full...)
She said she'd get back to me, but still no word four months on
Q. Okay, so I'm a middle-aged guy and I e-mailed this woman I went to high school with to see if she wanted to get together and chat sometime. She said she was busy with work, etc., and then finally e-mailed me that "I reeeally want to get together ...
A. 2 March 2010: 4 months on, she's not really interested. Don't worry about and move on.... (read in full...)
I'm not getting any younger, and I want a chance at happiness. Would it be selfish to leave my partner?
Q. I have two young boys with my partner of ten years. It seems that most of those years have been a series of mounting stresses. My partner has always had difficulty with intemacy; relating to some abuse experienced as a child, but I have always had a ...
A. 2 March 2010: This is a very sad situation, because it's not like you really haven't tried. But there does come a time when you simply have to take a big step. You have done the medical help, the counselling. You've talked and been open about it all. I would ... (read in full...)
Now that it's time for us to meet, he has become distant. Is he trying to give me the brush off?
Q. Hi there, I have been talking to this guy online for five months and we have been talking on the phone and texting for the past couple of months. The time has come for me to meet him and he seems offish now.im traveling from another city to ...
A. 2 March 2010: Only a little more time will tell. It might be that when you had sex he had got what he wanted. But it might just be a bit too early. I would suggest continuing to talk to him, but clearly if he continues to pull away then you need to think. But ... (read in full...)
Is dinner and a film at his place too soon for a second date?
Q. Is the second date too early for dinner and a movie at his place? Don't want him to think something in the wrong direction is going to happen but also don't want to offend him. I'm really old fashioned when it comes to dating...what do you all ...
A. 2 March 2010: The movie is fine, but the dinner at his house will put pressure on you to have sex. So if you want to make it clear you're not ready to take it that far, then by all means go to the movie, but maybe suggest you do something else for dinner.... (read in full...)
Is it ok to tell my gf that I fantasize about a MFM threesome with her and another guy?
Q. Is it ok to tell my gf that I fantasize about a MFM threesome with her and another guy? I am in college with my gf and we have been going out for about 2 years. Lately I have been thinking about what it would be like to have a threesome with...
A. 2 March 2010: It depends how open minded she is. Usually, a fantasy like this is better left as a secret fantasy, because a lot of things can go wrong later down the line. ... (read in full...)
He doesn't always respond to my texts. Should I keep trying?
Q. OK everyone I was kinda seeing this guy in october last year, but ended in novemebr I really liked him and have told him this Anyway my point is every now and then i txt him 2 see if hes ok sometims i get a reply sometimes i dont And s...
A. 2 March 2010: Your friends have given you poor advice on this occasion. He's not interested in you other than a friend. If he really liked you, you would know it because he would reply. Pull back from him.... (read in full...)
Ex boyfriend tries all my friends and ends up back at me. What should I do?
Q. (Mod note: Editited for clarity) So my ex boyfriend who i dumped because he liked another girl then asked out my ex-best friend. She said no so he moved on to my other best friend, basically he likes them all. After all of this he asked me back out....
A. 2 March 2010: Say NO. He liked another girl, went out with your ex best friend, moved onto another best friend and is now back at you. Basically he's using you all and doesn't know what he wants. Say no. ... (read in full...)
I like this online guy I'm dating but he still gets on the dating site.
Q. I have met a lovely guy through a dating website. We have been involved for about 6 weeks. Being in contact every day and meeting up over the weekends. This weekend we spent the whole weekend together and we have a sexual relationship. He is ...
A. 2 March 2010: If you're not exclusive, then he won't stop. So suggest to him about going exclusive and see what happens. Until this is an exclusive relationship, he won't take his name down.... (read in full...)
My husband leaves me and his daughter to go out drinking constantly.
Q. I been married for 4 years i have a a 6 month old girl. My husband drinks to much and i suspect hes using drugs he never wants to take me out anywhere. He just wants to go out and drink with his friends and forgets about us should i leave him or ...
A. 2 March 2010: Tell him it has to change. If it doesn't, then leave. And if you find he is taking drugs, definitely leave. Give him the ultimatum and mean it.... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend who cheated on me is back after almost a year apart. Has he changed?
Q. Its been almost a year since I broke up with my ex-boyfriend and all the sudden he's started calling and texting me again. We were together for 4 years, which were a mixture of good times and bad. The reason we broke up was because he cheated on me ...
A. 2 March 2010: He's come back awfully quickly. I'd say you're a young woman, and have time to find a better guy. ... (read in full...)
Everytime I get upset or sick she tells me to deal with it! What makes her this way?
Q. Hey, all. I've been with my current girlfriend for about 16 months (same girl as my last question). She's begun pressuring me pretty hard to get engaged, but I have one big (in my opinion, anyway) roadblock to that happening. In a nut-shell, I ...
A. 2 March 2010: I agree with your friends. You've given her the benefit of the doubt for 16 months, and nothing has changed. It seems to me that she either can't cope with not being in control and with having someone around who is ill, or is just plain selfish and ... (read in full...)
I had sex with my boyfriend when I was talking to another guy. Now the other guy says I cheated!
Q. My relationship with my guy started out all wrong. We met on an internet site not intended to *hook-up* people-MFI (a site were you can have friends and benefactors contribute to your boob job). At the time I wanted implants to restore and enhance ...
A. 2 March 2010: But he wasn't cheated on. In fact, it was your boyfriend who you cheated on (an emotional affair, if you like). This actually sounds like you've walked into a mess to be honest. I think you need to sit down and say that you didn't cheat on him and ... (read in full...)
I am attracted to my teacher and I'm very confused.
Q. I'm attracted to my teacher!? I know that there is a lot of questions on many websites about students being in love with a teacher, but its a confusing time. I'm attracted to my teacher. I wouldn't say its love... but i cant stop thinking about h...
A. 2 March 2010: It's a crush, nothing more. And it will pass in time. So enjoy it. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is not interested in having sex with me anymore!
Q. How do you seduce a man who has gone off sex? I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 2 years but our relationship is on/off in nature as I spend half of my time away for my studies. I think this affects our sex life as he takes a while to get used ...
A. 1 March 2010: Not to put a point to it, but a young man acting this way when his girlfriend comes home would indicate that he's not interested enough. ... (read in full...)
After 20 years of marriage I just don't love him the way I did before...
Q. I know this is easy for some, but really am serious when I say that I just don't think I can stay married to a man that I promised to spend the rest of my life too. We've been married 20 years now. Things have always had there ups and down. That's ...
A. 1 March 2010: It sounds like you have both just drifted apart. Many (not all) who have married early go on to feel this way later in life. You never really had a chance to be a teenager or a young woman, you quickly became pregnant and were married. And maybe ... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend is spreading hateful rumors and threatening me and my new boyfriend.
Q. What do I do if my ex boyfriend is spreading nasty rumors about me? He told about 3 old friends of mine stuff I NEVER said about them and offered false proof, and they sided with him and now they hate me. My current friends tell me that he is going ...
A. 1 March 2010: I would suggest that first of all you tell your parents what is happening, just so you know your family are aware of it. Also, it's worth going to the police and trying to ask them for help. I don't think he will hurt your boyfriend, because he will ... (read in full...)
She claims she is into me, but won't leave her boyfriend!
Q. Im having a very odd situation with a girl i have known for about two years now. I was in a advanced 3D design course and i sat next to her just because i knew no one in the class and she was cute and just gave off a good vibe. We talked a lot but ...
A. 1 March 2010: She doesn't really care about you at all. She just likes the attention and likes having you there as an emotional rock. Anyone will tell you that if a person really loves you, they will be with you. She's not really losing interest in her boyfriend ... (read in full...)
Three boys and only one choice.
Q. um i have a crush on three boys in my class lets call them red,blue,green blue:really hot but sometimes mean green:real sweet,cute,nice red:cute,sometimes rude what i want to ask is that which should i like you see my friend likes green and...
A. 1 March 2010: If you have a crush on all three, then none of them is right for you. And certainly 'blue' is the worst of all. I'd suggest continuing to work on yourself. When you're ready, you'll find one guy who you really like. ... (read in full...)
Trust issues lead him to think that I'm cheating and I don't want to lose him.
Q. so my boyfriend of 5 months and i have been having problems lately. alot of trust problems! yesterday i feel asleep at his apartment on his sofa and my phone was charging. i still talk to my ex-bf and some guy friends back home. while i was asleep ...
A. 1 March 2010: This is the reason that ex's should move on from each other. The next partners always feel undermined. That said, your boyfriend's reaction was far over the top for something like this. I understand the initial reaction, but don't understand his ... (read in full...)
Boy and his mixed signals leaving me confused.
Q. Hey, I am fifteen years old, sixteen in November. Me and a boy was boyfriend and girlfriend for two weeks back in August - but before that we were very close and on the verge of being boyfriend and girlfriend all the time for about two months before ...
A. 1 March 2010: I'm not going to tell you to tell him how you feel, because it won't make a difference. Young men do not mature emotionally as quickly as young women do, and this causes problems. This guy doesn't really know what he wants, and doesn't understand ... (read in full...)
Should I ask if he wants a girlfriend or just sex?
Q. this guy that i met online we were chatting on msn. HIM: there are lot of hoes out there ME: i didnt know that HIM: you tell me ME: how would i know more like you tell me HIM: so your decent then? ME: well i dont sleep around so i'd like ...
A. 1 March 2010: Cut him off. He's after a girl to use. ... (read in full...)
Emotionally confused.... Pretty messed up... Please help.
Q. Hey there, I was wondering if someone could help me in this confusing time. My girlfriend of 4 years just left me for very odd reasons. I support her through everything she does and tell her I love you everyday and that she is beautiful everyday, no ...
A. 1 March 2010: There is a high probability that she has cheated on you. Not always does having a period mean that a woman is not pregnant. This could be a trap. Whatever happens, this would be best ended, because to actually attack you once you've found ... (read in full...)
Ex initiated contact & has ignored my reply
Q. Hello We split over 2 months ago after 3 yrs (she left me)and there has been no contact since. Then out of the blue she emailed me to say 'hi, can we talk,would be nice to catch up etc ' I waited a 2\3 days and replied via email saying it was...
A. 1 March 2010: It's most likely a case that she was lonely, so contacted you out of interest, then decided it was a bad idea. In the future, don't reply.... (read in full...)
He broke my confidence and now I don't think I can trust him
Q. ok...so, i came out to my really close friends about 2 months ago and it still scares me a little when they bring it up. i'm so used to hiding that i'm gay, which i'm still hiding from most everyone. anyway this really close friend of mine that i ...
A. 1 March 2010: The problem with secrets is they can bring a lot of stress on the person having to keep them. In this case, your friend felt it was too much to handle by himself, so told his sister. I'm not saying it's right, but what I am saying is that there are ... (read in full...)
Is it the excitement of someone I cant have, or do I just not feel as much as I should do for my boyfriend?
Q. hey agony aunts and uncles.. im warning you this might be a little long, so i apologise in advance! basically, iv been with my boyfriend *ash* for just over a month now. hes my first serious boyfriend, my first everything, if you catch my meaning...
A. 1 March 2010: Simply out, Ash isn't the one. This is your first relationship, and it's only been a month and you are already feeling this way. That's a bad sign. Best to end it now and focus on yourself until you are ready to commit to someone.... (read in full...)
What does he want? Me or her?
Q. My problems started a few weeks ago, when my boy friend of 3 and a half years admitted that a girl that he is always texting likes him. He said that he would talk to her and sort it out, saying that he just wants to be friends. But he's started to ...
A. 1 March 2010: Let him go. To suddenly go off sex and change all passwords would indicate that he is probably cheating. And to then say he doesn't know if he wants to be with you seals it. He's not the one.... (read in full...)
I've stopped talking to my ex girlfriend after she cheated on me
Q. I cut off my 4-year GF, cold turkey, after I caught her cheating. She called (and e-mailed) a few times on the first day. It's been 4 days (no contact)... ...when should I expect the pscyho-ex-girlfriend problems to start? What should I expect?...
A. 1 March 2010: Well, hopefully they won't start. But watch out for things coming through the post, or random phone calls. But I don't think anything will happen. And don't take her back either.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend flirts and pretends to be single online. Should I dump him?
Q. I recently discovered my boyfriend has a networking account on which he behaves as if he were a single guy. He flirts, he apparently texts, and his status when I checked was "looking for random hookups". I called him somewhat hysterically and ...
A. 1 March 2010: Dump him. Not only has he not accepted it and started to blame you, but he came up with a pretty feeble excuse. A man who loves you won't be on an internet site looking for hook ups and claiming he is simple.... (read in full...)
Does he want to be good friends, or does he "like" me?
Q. hello everyone, I'm really confused and really need to know how i should go ahead.I have been single for a while now and a friend of mine told his best friend about me.While randomly facebooking on my friends wall...this guy added me nd we start...
A. 1 March 2010: He does seem to like you, but his messages are a little mixed. This means there is only one thing to do and that's to talk to him. And don't underestimate how shy he might actually be. Speaking to a girl is one thing, actually asking her out is ... (read in full...)
I found another man's underwear under the bed!
Q. I just found men's underwear under my side of the bed. I'd like advice on what to do. This weekend, I was searching for a pair of old sneakers and they were shoved way under our bed on my side. I have no clue how long they've been there, I usually...
A. 1 March 2010: You need to do more digging into this before you can confront her. So watch her carefully, and maybe see about a hidden camera. If they are 100% not yours, then you need to find out how they got there, but be quiet and calm about it.... (read in full...)
Is there any chance I'm pregnant?
Q. Hi, I lost my virginity 2 weeks ago, and we didnt use condom, we wanted to have sex without condom, but what is the chances of getting pregnet for the first time sex and not using protection. I last my rirgenity but he didnt stay to long in my ...
A. 1 March 2010: There is always a risk, so go to the doctor,.... (read in full...)
For my English project: Is it Affect or Effect?
Q. I know this isn't to do with relationships but i'm unsure of where else to ask. Basically, i'm doing a speech in english which I have chosen to do on the topic of judgment. My question is : would I entitle it 'the Affect of judgment' or 'the Effect ...
A. 1 March 2010: The Effect of Judgement.... (read in full...)
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