| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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I bumped my bump and am worried I may have lost the baby...
Q. I'm 13 weeks pregnant but bumped my bump at eleven weeks - I like to take regular pregnancy tests cos it makes the pregnancy seem more real however this week the line on the pregnancy test was fainter (took two tests with similar results) and am ...
A. 9 March 2010: Babies are surprisingly tough. I'm not a medical man, but I'm sure you're fine. I suspect that you're worrying so much that something has happened, you're making a big deal out of things that might be normal. You're having a scan, so you'll be able ... (read in full...)
What goes on in her head???
Q. Ok so the story is: We’re both 37 and, if you include the last year, have been together for 4 years. Both previously married – no children. We moved in together after about 8 months but in April of 2009 Michelle decided that she ‘had’ to leave me. ...
A. 9 March 2010: Michelle is a waste of your time. It's clear she's just playing with you, and probably a load of others as well. Best to move on and find a good woman.... (read in full...)
Text mania!!!
Q. hi all at dear cupid this is the second time i wrote on hear and its still about the same guy, ok well like said before meet this guy october he sent me a random txt getting on great stoped talking mid november, every now and then i t...
A. 9 March 2010: You need to leave it. Sadly, when a guy asks 'who is this' when you text, it means he really isn't interested at all. I would let him go.... (read in full...)
Self conscious about my vagina...
Q. ok well... im very self concious of my vagina... my husband thinks it's great... but i've noticed that my 'vagina lips' are a little farther apart than normal to me... and my clitoris is a little big... so is there anything i could do to help ...
A. 9 March 2010: There's nothing wrong with you. You're not supposed to be like all those porn starts. You're supposed to be yourself. Woman are all different, just like men. And your husband is happy. There's nothing wrong with you.... (read in full...)
I honestly can't believe that he's trying to justify what he did and I feel like I can't help him.
Q. I'm at my wit's end. Last night, my husband got angry with me for asking him a question. I asked if it would be OK if my friend's husband drives me over to her house on Thursday. She is at home with her baby, so she can't really do it herself. He ...
A. 9 March 2010: Well as I see it you have two choices. You can either stay with this guy and live this kind of life permanently, or you end it now and leave. You don't mention whether you have kids or not, but I strongly suggest you leave this man. ... (read in full...)
Best friend moved, best friend came back, best friend turned into... a 13-year-old-prostitute!!!
Q. I used to have a best friend I told everything to, then one day she moved away. Lo and behold! A year later my best friend returns, everything should be perfect right? Wrong, unfortunately again, because when she came back she wasn't the friend I ...
A. 9 March 2010: There is no way you can get this friend back at this time. Something had happened to her while she's been away. It could be that she's been abused, raped, or she's just rebelled for another reason. I think your best bet is to tell an adult (teacher) ... (read in full...)
My question is, all things considered, is this relationship even worth trying to save?
Q. I'm so confused on what to do anymore. Over a year ago, I found pictures of my boyfriends ex hidden on our computer. Provocative pictures. This was after 3 years of being lied to on and off about her. I flipped out, we fought a lot, and after a few ...
A. 9 March 2010: Certainly he sees totally uninterested in fixing the mess he has created if he hasn't done anything to build up your trust and is only interested in sex when he's been drinking. Your last best bet to save this is to both go to counselling and get it ... (read in full...)
He cheated...it drives me crazy...completely crazy...
Q. By bf and I just turned one year last Feb. And last Friday I found out that a month right after we got together, he had sex with a girl from our work (it's a restaurant franchise). I don't work there anymore, but I knew the girl he had sex with. My ...
A. 9 March 2010: It takes a long time to get over someone cheating. It's not something that just happens. You haven't really known for that long that it happened. This sort of thing takes years to truly come to terms with. You will be like everyone else who has been ... (read in full...)
Sex drive help needed
Q. ok people, what im saying is i never go more than 3 days. MY QUESTION IS can you slow down a sex drive?I have a problem i need it every day. Is that normal? PS only with my fiance...
A. 9 March 2010: You're a normal healthy woman. Don't worry. ... (read in full...)
My friend's boyfriend came onto me... do I tell her?
Q. Help, my friend's boyfriend told me he fancies me and has tried to kiss me... Do I tell her? I know she is going to leave him soon as she is sick of him being immature and she likes another guy... Any help apreciated!!...
A. 9 March 2010: Yes. Because if she goes to dump him, in revenge or something, he might try to blame it on you.... (read in full...)
Is an orgasm worth all the hype???
Q. okay, I know this is a bit of a weird question, but its really bugging me!! anyway, I was wondering, if you haven't had an orgasm, do you think that its doable to comprehend what it feels like? Because, I'm 18 and my boyfriend and I haven't done a...
A. 9 March 2010: Yes! And the good news is that a woman's is far better than a man's (so I'm told, and so I have observed). So just relax and keep at it. When you feel it, you'll know about it.... (read in full...)
What can I do to make him understand that this bitch is a psycho and that I am not the one in the wrong.
Q. Hi, I'm after advice re my ex. I dumped her about a year ago but we stayed in touch and I thought we might get back together a few weeks ago but I changed my mind cos I met a woman at work I quite fancied. I was angry with my ex because I asked ...
A. 9 March 2010: Your ex didn't come between you and your son. Your son is telling you something, and you're not hearing it. You seem to be sick of not just one woman, but too. I would strongly suggest that you sit down with your son and listen to him. He's saying ... (read in full...)
How do I stop thinking about my best friend's boyfriend???
Q. i recently had sex with my best friend's boyfriend, they have been together for 10 years and have 3 children, we bumped into each other on a night out and a few friends came back to my house, everyone went around 5am and her boyfriend stayed to ...
A. 8 March 2010: Imagine for one second if your friend found out. You'd lose it all.... (read in full...)
He broke his promise to me...
Q. Okay, some of this is going to sound bad. If you're going to judge the situation, please just dont. We ask for help, not judgement and criticism. I've been with my bf for about 6 months. He smokes weed, and used to do bars (xanex) I noticed that h...
A. 8 March 2010: The fact is he is a drug addict. Only he can face his demons. And he's not done that, instead he broke his promise. So now you need to make a decision, and that is whether you are happy to settle for a man who so readily broke a promise, of whether ... (read in full...)
His mom is always butting into our relationship?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a while and his mom seems to always be butting into our relationship. In our first few months of dating, she already tried to break us up because she was jealous that there was a second woman in his life. (she ...
A. 8 March 2010: Well at least she's warming to you, which is better than before. That's a good sign, Talking to her one to one was the best thing and the most mature thing you could have done. Now she doesn't see you as a threat, she sees you as a friend. So within ... (read in full...)
On the one hand, my fiance, on the other ...
Q. i met this guy, we'll call him "D" i fell in love with his immediately, we have a great connection and have everything in common. things progressed quickly, living together not long after we started seeing each other. things then got rocky, we broke ...
A. 8 March 2010: Even more the reason to move on. If D actually came to you and you went back without getting to know R, then he's not the one. And given that D dumped you, neither is he. ... (read in full...)
What is he up to? Does he sound dodgy to you?
Q. Help!! A man contacted me from a dating site that i am listed; we sent friendly email back and forth for about one week; this man never asked about me or my life be just talked about what he wants in a woman and he also disclosed that his prev ...
A. 8 March 2010: This sounds like a huge Reg Flag. Marriage so early without meeting? Go to Dubai to collect payment? Listed on different sites with different homes? Sounds like a man who wants a hareem of women to me. Avoid.... (read in full...)
I'm worried I'm being deceitful...
Q. when i first met my current boyfriend, i told him i had had one sexual partner which was true. however before he and i became exclusive there was one more guy, but i didnt tell im about this because it was after we met and so im worried what he will ...
A. 8 March 2010: You've both been checked, and you're clean. You had one last guy before you were with your boyfriend exclusively, so my advice is to say nothing. It's not his business, and will only make things a little more difficult if he's insecure. What has ... (read in full...)
Fooling around, blow job gone wrong!!!
Q. so me and my boyfriend were just fooling around the other day and i was suckin him off and stuff. i blew on his penis around his wee/cum hole area. i think a small amount of air went in but i dunno. then i realised that dis could be really dangerous ...
A. 8 March 2010: I'm sure he's fine. Nothing to worry about.... (read in full...)
He puts his ex and son ahead of me.
Q. I have been dating this guy for about 3 months. We really like each other a lot. He has a son with another woman and I know that I can't compete with that, but here's the problem. He says that he is tryin to get along with her so that he doesn't ...
A. 8 March 2010: Hell yes leave him. A man who won't pay for the child he created isn't a man.... (read in full...)
What should I do about my wife?
Q. I am planning to leave my wife, but I am really scared of her - not that she is gonna beat me up or anything. The other day we were having a argument and she punched me - I was too shocked, even so she has hit me before. And she blames me for "m...
A. 8 March 2010: I'm so glad you recorded her saying that she's going to frame you. Now get a lawyer and divorce her. And keep that evidence. Also, remember to record the other conversations as well. They'll go down well with the police and the judge. ... (read in full...)
Torn between the army and having a baby...
Q. i'm 20 years old and im about to join the army. I have never thought about having a baby before. I always said i didnt want one. But for the past few months everyone seems to be getting pregnant around me and its making me want one myself. My mom ...
A. 8 March 2010: Focus on your career first. There is no point in having a baby only to find yourself tied down and not able to support it. You're being influenced by those around you, and not yourself. If you want to join the army, do that first. You only have to ... (read in full...)
Proper behaviour at a hotel?
Q. When you are at a hotel, are you suppose to leave a tip for the maid? If so how much? Where should I leave the tip at? Do you tip each day or leave the tip when you are checking out?...
A. 8 March 2010: I once read that in the USA, a decent tip to give a maid is $5, just once when you leave.... (read in full...)
What can I do about my neglecting mother?
Q. I am just so fed up of my mother... she is so unsupportive of everything I do, all she cares about is her boyfriend. She needs to grow up, and realise that she is responsible for her children! She has to realise that she can't act like a teenager ...
A. 8 March 2010: Definitely talk to your father about all this. He will really want to help somehow. And you need to talk to someone at the school as well, because you're being abused. ... (read in full...)
On the one hand, my fiance, on the other ...
Q. i met this guy, we'll call him "D" i fell in love with his immediately, we have a great connection and have everything in common. things progressed quickly, living together not long after we started seeing each other. things then got rocky, we broke ...
A. 8 March 2010: I always say if you can't choose, it means neither is right. And this is another case. You're with 'D', and this is a relationship that has already had a break up. Meanwhile, you saw a lot of R, but not enough to convince you he was the one. You've ... (read in full...)
Torn between two brothers ...
Q. Before anyone judges me please understand my reasons for what i have done. Ive been with my boyfriend for 4 years, and the past 6 months, i've been sleeping with his younger brother who is the same age as me, 21. A little over a year ago i found...
A. 8 March 2010: To be honest, I agree with Frank. I think you should stop seeing both men and focus on your own life just for now. One guy has cheated and is still cheating, the other is betraying his own brother. Neither guy is suitable or worth your time ... (read in full...)
Need help/advice on how to move on from my ex who hurt me so badly..
Q. Hi All, I have previously posted a question asking if I should stay with my ex who cheated on me and got a girl pregnant or if I should just move on. Its been such a hard struggle deciding which I should do even though in logic I know which optio...
A. 8 March 2010: You now have to throw yourself into your own life. This is the time to really look at your life and work out what you want. Start new hobbies, throw yourself into work, make sure you're going out with friends and having fun. Give yourself plenty of ... (read in full...)
Forty and really wanting a child
Q. I am 40 years old and it is killing me that I do not have kids. I really would like to have a child part of the problem is I don't even have a boyfriend or any prospects. I am totally single. What can I do?...
A. 8 March 2010: You could adopt or go to a sperm bank.... (read in full...)
He's a control freak, a fault finder and has anger issues... Should I stay in the marriage for the sake of my son?
Q. I've been married for almost 5 years now. We rushed into things and got married right away. I've regretted it almost every day since. He's a control freak, a fault finder, and has some anger issues (but he doesn't hit me). He's never happy. Ever. I ...
A. 8 March 2010: But your son is not getting what he needs. Children are very perceptive and he will either already see you're hurting, or if he;s still a bit young, he'll be able to see it soon. My mother stayed with my father and at 6 years old I knew she should ... (read in full...)
We don't use a condom but he never comes inside me... so could I be pregnant?
Q. my boyfriend and i never use a condom when we have sex, but he never finishes inside me, but he has fingered me when he has seaman on his fingers. for the past week or so i have been feeling nauseated, my back has been hurting, i have cramps that ...
A. 8 March 2010: It's highly possible. You don't have to ejaculate in a woman to make her pregnent. There is 'pre-cum' that comes out before, so yes, it's very possible. Get tested.... (read in full...)
I really like two girls and can't choose between them!
Q. Well I really don't know what to do. I kinda like two different girls, I say like because I'm not in love with either one of them and I don't believe in saying it until you mean it. Anyway we'll call the first one C, she's beautiful, she's funny, ...
A. 8 March 2010: L has already broken it off with you before. Don't go back to an ex. If you can't choose, it means that neither girl is for you. When you meet the right girl, you'll know it. But at this moment, I'm not sure either girl is right for you. One's an ex ... (read in full...)
Is it true - DO big shoes mean a big penis?
Q. hey guys im just a bit curious if this is correct, but is true that guys with a big shoe size have a big ding dong? like for example if a guy had a 12 inch and a half shoe size would his penis be larger than a guy with a 5 inch shoe? is this true?? ...
A. 7 March 2010: No, not at all. Means nothing. ... (read in full...)
My ex girlfriend is pregnant. She wants me to get rid of my current girlfriend. Am I selfish to say no?
Q. I have just found out my ex girlfirend is 5 months pregnant, she has just found out also she had no idea. Ive always stayed in contact with her and tried to help her. now i want to be there for the child, but i dont know if im ready for a child ...
A. 7 March 2010: What on earth is your ex upto? You dumping your girlfriend has nothing to do with anything. That's got nothing to do with selfishness. She's an ex. That's it. You're not being selfish at all. There are two things you need to do. 1 - tell your ex ... (read in full...)
She doesn't like me going out on the town with friends
Q. i am 19 and 4 of my friends go to university. When they all come back we have a night out in the town. This happens about once or twice a month. My girlfriend hates me going to town and has told me this. She doesnt hardly drink and hates going to ...
A. 7 March 2010: Don't stop going out with friends. This isn't your problem. You have't cheated, you're a good guy. This is about her insecurities. I would suggest you ask her why she feels so strongly about you not going out, and why she distrusts you. ... (read in full...)
Friend won't see a doctor over discharge
Q. Please i really need your help on what to tell my friend....she said something watery is coming out of her left boobs...i askd her to go see a doctor and talk about it but she wouldnt listen to me,,,she said thats the last thing she wants to do...i ...
A. 7 March 2010: If she's still a virgin, she needs to see a doctor. It could be a serious infection. Or even worse.... (read in full...)
Could I be pregnant from this?
Q. Last night my boyfriend and I were fooling around and he was rubbing his penis on my vagina. I was on top of him and he continued rubbing until he came. Could I become pregnant from this? Should I take a pregnancy test?? Thankyou...
A. 7 March 2010: Yes, it's possible. If you did it last night, then you may still have enough time to take the emergency pill. ... (read in full...)
A day after a fight with my mom over my girlfriend, I'm getting the "silent treatment"
Q. I'm fed up right now. I came back home from college for my spring break, and wanted to evenly split time between my girlfriend and my mom. I asked about this last night here on dearcupid.org, when I had the issue. My uncle left yesterday for a ...
A. 7 March 2010: To be honest, and having also read your other post, your mother sounds like the original nightmare. She sounds far too controlling and obsessive to me. I don't mean that offensively, but your poor girlfriend must wonder what she's done wrong. Okay, ... (read in full...)
My wife has a hidden PO Box and massive debt
Q. What do you do when you find out that your spouse of thirty years has a private post office box and over 47 thousand dollars in credit card bills? When I asked her about them she said I did not give her enough grocery money. However, I told her ...
A. 7 March 2010: Run to a lawyer. You don't spend that on groceries, which means she has as shopping problem. I say run to a lawyer because shortly that debt will come knocking and all your hard work will mean nothing. See what a lawyer can suggest.... (read in full...)
We've been working on our relationship but he still calls the woman he cheated with
Q. I need some much needed advice. I have been with my fiance' for 9 yrs now and engaged for 4yrs. We planned a trip to get married in florida in 2006. He is my rock, best friend, lover and I feel I am the same to him. About 3 weeks before we were to ...
A. 7 March 2010: You shouldn't need to compete with another woman for the man you love, because he is supposed to love you. This is a man who has cheated on you, and has kept you engaged without marriage for fours years. From the male point of view, I'll tell you ... (read in full...)
She wants us to be intimate but has no intentions of leaving her husband
Q. I have read a few of the answers to other questions on cheating, but I feel that mine is a bit of a different situation than those. About 5 years ago, I was best friends with this girl, I'll call her Pam. Well Pam started dating a good friend of ...
A. 7 March 2010: I'm with Rhythm. Her advice is great. Why have a second rate friend like this. You know where it will lead, and you'll end up hurt. Get a new best friend who doesn't treat people like crap.... (read in full...)
I think maybe he might not want to talk with me on MSN
Q. kso maybe im blowiing this waay outta proportion ... but i wanna talk to this one guy :$ and i dont have facebook , so my one friend told him to add me on msn , and hee said haha why :) , she said iddk :) why does anyone wanna add someone ...
A. 7 March 2010: Being a young man, and not totally mature yet, it's more likely he forgot. If you really like this guy, you might be better adding him, or even speaking to him and just saying hello. Young men are usually not mature enough to handle all this ... (read in full...)
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