| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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I think maybe he might not want to talk with me on MSN
Q. kso maybe im blowiing this waay outta proportion ... but i wanna talk to this one guy :$ and i dont have facebook , so my one friend told him to add me on msn , and hee said haha why :) , she said iddk :) why does anyone wanna add someone ...
A. 7 March 2010: Being a young man, and not totally mature yet, it's more likely he forgot. If you really like this guy, you might be better adding him, or even speaking to him and just saying hello. Young men are usually not mature enough to handle all this ... (read in full...)
I want to act unconcerned about her new boyfriend and I want her to want me back
Q. Ok, so I think my ex-girlfriend is starting to date a guy that i believed she had a crush on before we started dating. And I want her back but I know in my heart it wouldnt work out as im a guy who wants a serious relationship and a girl who ...
A. 7 March 2010: Sorry, but she's not coming back, and there is no way you can make her see it was a mistake to break up. You're a smart guy, you know it won't work, and you know you'll end up even more hurt. All you can do is focus on yourself, and really work out ... (read in full...)
An older girl just wont back off from my boyfriend
Q. im an 8th grade girl who is currently dating an11th grade guy in my school. Ive known him since 2008.we stared dating in the begining of february and hes relationships usually last even though hes a playa. He flirts alot with girls older than me and ...
A. 7 March 2010: Time to move on. There is not such thing as 'sort of cheating'. There is only cheating. And you haven't spoken in 5 days. Move on.... (read in full...)
My ex has a girlfriend but they always fight. And he says he loves me. What should I do?
Q. My ex bf keeps telling me that he wants to marry me and have me in his future and that he loves me and everything however he has a girl friend that he says he loves too but they always fight. What should i do about this situation?...
A. 7 March 2010: He is a best friend? This guy is also telling you he loves another woman, a woman who is his ex. That is not the act of a boyfriend or a best friend.... (read in full...)
If I really loved him would I be able to lose weight??
Q. Hi Guys! I am really upset and hoping for some help. I would love to get some answers from guys as well on this one. My LTR BF (8 years) has asked me to lose weight before (I am approx size 14/16 and was this size when we met and I am quite tall ...
A. 6 March 2010: Errm, why are you with a man who only cares that you lose weight, and even left you? He says if you really loved him, you would lose weight. I say, if he really loves you, he would accept you for who you are. My girlfriend is a size 14, and I'm very ... (read in full...)
My married boyfriend seems more distant. What should I do?
Q. I dont know how to say this. i realy need good advice. I am madly in love with this guy who loves me too. problem is he is a married man and is too good. we been dating for 6 years. Now he gets too tied up and phones less. says he loves me still bu...
A. 6 March 2010: No he doesn't love you. You're a mistress, and he's more concerned with his wife. Do you really think a married man who has been seeing you for six years loves you? No, he doesn't. Sorry, but you need to move on or you'll wind up wasting your life ... (read in full...)
I cum when french kissing... is this normal?
Q. well the title is the give away basically i cum when me and my gf french kiss is this normal? any help? is it ok? opinions plz but only helpful responses...
A. 6 March 2010: I think at your age it is. Your hormones are running wild, you're only just starting to kiss girls and really get close to them. So yes, it's normal you'd react like this. You'll get better as you learn to control it all a bit more, which will take ... (read in full...)
We have conflicting schedules and he doesn't respect my time
Q. My boyfriend works on weekends, from 3-8 (sometimes 3-11) and I never have any time with him on Saturday or Sunday. It's a little upsetting because I never get to do couple-y things with him like go to the movies on a Saturday night or go out to ...
A. 6 March 2010: You and he need to agree certain times and days that you can see each other. Since he is working, it's difficult for him to make time at the weekends. Since you're studying, it's also hard for you. But you need to both make time for each other when ... (read in full...)
Good girl meets bad boy now doesn't know what to do?
Q. ok.. good girl meets bad boy same typical story. yes i find him very attractive n yes he has a bad past cheated on his last two gf's. i also know its wrong to date him i dont think i wanna date him i jus likes the attention he shows me. but we go to ...
A. 6 March 2010: He told you everything you wanted to hear. There were hints about how he wasn't good enough for you, hints about him wanting to change. He's just told you everything he could to make you want to kiss him and it almost worked. Yes, you can do better ... (read in full...)
I told him I like him, so why wont he say it back?
Q. I have this guy friend who never tells me how he feels and I always tell him. I've been really sick lately. So I don't feel like talking to him? But he never seems to talk to me anymore. I tackled him oneday to give him a back hug and he smiled big. ...
A. 6 March 2010: If after all this time of trying to get him to open up he hasn't said anything, it means he's not interested in you as anything more than a friend. ... (read in full...)
I don't understand why she would prefer to watch TV than have sex
Q. I've been with my gf since dec of 08. We had sex before we got together and and after only 2 weeks knowing each other. I love her dearly but lately we don't have sex like used to and as much. I always was the one givng the hints for sex then we ...
A. 6 March 2010: Don't break up. Instead go back to basics and start making her feel loved and desired again. Maybe there is a lot of stress in her life, maybe she needs a bit more wooing. So start there and see what happens.... (read in full...)
Is my teacher into me?
Q. well i feel like an idiot for asking this just because it's probably nothing but i'd like to know regardless... so anyway here's my question, so i kind of have a crush on my teacher, he's in his 20's but literally passes as a student. he's adorable...
A. 6 March 2010: He is a teacher, you are a student. That's it. Of course if you like him you'll notice things. But none of those you've mentioned mean anything. Wisely you've seen nothing can happen anyway. So enjoy your crush on him, but don't think there is ... (read in full...)
Should I tell her that I love her? Does what she said mean she doesn't love me?
Q. So my girl and i have been goin out for about two weeks. I love her to death but still havnt told her i like her. But just today we were playing truth or dare on her little sisters ipod and one of the questions were have you ever been in love and ...
A. 6 March 2010: It's only been two weeks! Love truly develops over time. She might be shy of saying it, or might be unsure of what she's feeling since it's so soon. Spend more time getting to know her, since it's only been two weeks, and don;t say you love her yet. ... (read in full...)
How can I get my kids back?
Q. ok so i have kind of alot of question. i am going thru alot right now and i just want some advise if u know what i should do .. i was in a 5 year relationship and now i have 2 kids but the we were never married or living together althoug. since my...
A. 6 March 2010: Get a lawyer, take her to court. That's all you can do. ... (read in full...)
I think I'm in love with my girlfriend's sister. Can I control this?
Q. Hi guys. I feel ashamed for even feeling like this, is it true you can't help who you find attractive? I have been with my girlfriend for four years now, and we get on 'ok' no problems at all. In this time I have also seen her sister grow i...
A. 6 March 2010: What you see of your girlfriend and what you see of her sister are two different things. With your girlfriend, you get the good and the bad, you have the arguments, you have the ups and downs and all the tears, the shouting. In essence, everything ... (read in full...)
Should I continue to work with this relationship or should I walk away?
Q. Hi i need good advice im having problems in my relationship with my boyfriend or whatever he is now i have been with him on and off for about 12 years and i have a 4 year old child with him but for the last couple years its gotten out of hand not ...
A. 6 March 2010: I'm always sceptical of relationships that are on/off all the time. It means that rather than face problems, people are just running away. I'm even more sceptical of relationships where one person is constantly insult the other. And then your ... (read in full...)
Is my daughter gay? How do I handle walking in on such an embarrassing scene?
Q. Hi, I am a single dad of a 15 year old girl and came home one day to hear laughing coming from my daughters room when I didnt even expect her to be home. so I just went over and walked in to ask her how her day was and I find my daughter naked w...
A. 6 March 2010: She could be, and it's likely. Of course, being 15, she might also be experimenting and is a little unsure of herself. I don't think you can get her to talk about it, because she's probably dreadfully embarrassed. I think the best thing you can do ... (read in full...)
How should I deal with paying the mortgage in my marriage?
Q. in a marriage should the man pay the mortgage? how do you feel about it is are hous we split the mortgage...
A. 6 March 2010: Depends how much you earn in comparison to your wife. If you earn more, you should pay more. Clearly if you are the only one earning money, you pay all. If you are both earning, you both should pay, but it's all relevant to how much you earn. ... (read in full...)
Is going back to my ex wrong? What will people say?
Q. Hey im in a bit of a mess and any help at all will be greatly appreciated. On the 7th February i started going out with a guy called ashley, he was a bit messed up and unhappy in life but when we got together people kept commenting on how happy he...
A. 6 March 2010: The first thing people will say is that you used Danny as a rebound. Which in many ways you kind of have. You were hurt by Ash, and dumped him in favour of Danny without thinking it through. I'm not sure you're completely ready for a relationship ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with a cheater who is accusing me of cheating. What do I do?
Q. Ok i've been dating this guy for 11 months now. He's 18 i'm 15. He's about to graduate and boy is that driving me crazy. But he cheated on me awhile back and i'm doing better with trusting him, but now he's all worried that i'm cheating on him?? I ...
A. 6 March 2010: Dump him. If he's accusing you, chances are he's doing it again and trying to make you sound bad to take away the guilt. You can be as madly in love with him as you like, but it will all be wasted. Never allow yourself to be treated this way. ... (read in full...)
What does he mean by hanging out?
Q. i asked my ex boyfriend if he sees us being together in the future and i meant me being his girl and he said yes hanging out. So what does that mean?...
A. 6 March 2010: You're a friend to him, nothing more. You won't be getting back together. So it's best to move on now.... (read in full...)
She doesn't want a relationship until we are in our twenties. What should I do?
Q. I know this may seem very... Immature... But i find myself thinking about this girl ALOT! And the thing that makes her unique is that... I have had girlfriends in the past and i have been able to say what i want or mean to them, and also act how...
A. 6 March 2010: Move on from her. Seems to me like she's letting you down gently. It'll be hard, I'm not saying it won't. But there's no point in waiting around for something that might never happen. ... (read in full...)
She won't tell anyone about our relationship until it improves. But it can't improve because I am unhappy she won't tell anyone!
Q. OK, me and my girlfriend been dating for 3 years. The only thing is that no one, not her friends or parents know we are dating. Thats the way she wants it. This situation makes me unhappy and we end up argueing over it. The arguments make h...
A. 6 March 2010: If the relationship improves? This is three years, if it's not good now it never will be. Make a decision about whether you want to be with a woman who hides you away. It doesn't sound like she'll ever say anything.... (read in full...)
I am in love with my friend's mom, how can I seduce her?
Q. I know this is going to sound wrong but I need your help. I’m 16 years old and a sophomore living in CT. I’m in love with my friends mom who is 45. I know this sounds wrong but I’m really in Love with her. She’s beautiful, smart, wise and funny. ...
A. 6 March 2010: She's married and she's your best friend's mother. You can't touch her. If you make move on the married mother of your best friend, you're no better than he own husband. Yes she's beautiful, she's smart , wise an funny. But she is not yours to take. ... (read in full...)
I want to wait, but his sex drive is becomming a problem
Q. Okay so I have a really weird situation. My boyfriend and I have been going together for about a month and I am head over heels for him. It was basically love at first sight (and I didn't believe in that until him). However, I am still a virgin ...
A. 6 March 2010: After just a month of going out, if he is pressurizing you, he's perhaps not worth it. If he loves you that much, he'll be able to control it to an extent. i.e. to ask you to leave is really quite low.... (read in full...)
What he said to me makes me fell bad about myself
Q. Here is my question...i am a down to earth laid back country girl, and the last guy that i dated tried to change a few things about me before we broke up and he made me feel bad about myself. Now when a guy ask me for my number or flirts with me the ...
A. 6 March 2010: He does it knowing you will feel hurt. So just cut all contact and ignore him. Truth is you're out of his league. He's the village idiot.... (read in full...)
My child overheard bad language and keeps repeating it
Q. help! my bf and i had a fight, we took it to room, 3 yr old overheard him say why u acting like a bitch? now she calls me bitch. how do i discipline her? she talks back to me, and it becomes a shouting match. i dont know what to do, cant hit her, ...
A. 6 March 2010: Every time she swears, don't say anything. Just take her hand, take her to a corner of the room and sit her there. And don't let her come out. Say that you will not tolerate swearing and that she has to say sorry. Then leave her in the corner. Every ... (read in full...)
My ex has a girlfriend but they always fight. And he says he loves me. What should I do?
Q. My ex bf keeps telling me that he wants to marry me and have me in his future and that he loves me and everything however he has a girl friend that he says he loves too but they always fight. What should i do about this situation?...
A. 6 March 2010: Leave him. He doesn't love either of you. There is only room in the heart for one, and it seems to me like he's using you as second best. You're better than that.... (read in full...)
Girlfriend nervous with anything sexual.
Q. I am 14 and my girl is 13 and she is scared to even look at me when i take my shirt off and we have only kissed but she is nerves about sex what do i do? ...
A. 6 March 2010: Keep those hormones in check young man! She's far too young, and she's nowhere near ready to go any further than just kissing.... (read in full...)
Why does my ex stiffen up every time he sees me?
Q. Ok so i saw my ex today we usually only see each other passing by on the road i live in kind of a small town i guess theres basically the same roads to get from one side of town to the other. But today was weird were rite next to each other at a ...
A. 5 March 2010: Yep. He finds it awkward seeing you. That's all there is to it. He just finds it awkward seeing his ex. ... (read in full...)
How can someone who wants to marry you turn around and find someone else immediately?
Q. How can someone who wants to marry you turn around and find someone else immediately? It's been two months after almost three years. I'm still hurting and she started dating someone else almost immediately. ...
A. 5 March 2010: It's more likely this new guy is a rebound. Poor guy. He'll end up dumped too.... (read in full...)
He always wants to brush his teeth and use a mouthwash after oral sex!!!!!
Q. My boyf of 18 months has always wanted to brush his teeth or use mouthwash after performing oral sex on me. I have never been with a man who does this and I always come away feeling very offended and undesirable. Why does he do this..... help!!!! ...
A. 5 March 2010: It might be that he has had a bad experience before. Ask him. ... (read in full...)
Is the friend the reason our relationship crumbled???
Q. i went out with my boyfriend for 5 months it was brilliant for the first month and everything was going really well until i met his friend, his friend started ringing me every night and i stupidly ended up talking to his friend rather then my ...
A. 5 March 2010: I think you and his friend got too close for comfort and he decided he was better not having anything to do with you. And certainly when you had his friend around he got worried. There is nothing wrong with having male friends at all. You just need ... (read in full...)
He's having an emotional affair with this girl... help!
Q. My boyfriend and I have had a very rocky relationship but i thought it was getting better, 4 months after we started dating he cheated on me... because it was so early in the relationship i forgave him... now... a year and two months later he says ...
A. 5 March 2010: I genuinely think you need to leave this guy now. He cheated and you forgave him, then you took a break and went back to her, and now this. Stop giving him all these chances. He has proved himself unworthy. ... (read in full...)
Help!!! I don't know what to do about him any more... any ideas?
Q. We met about 2 years ago i was 17 and he was 25, we dated 4 over a year, we loved each other a lot, we broke up about 6 months ago he said he wasnt happy with me but we was still hanging out and having sex, he wanted 2 be friends even though i didnt ...
A. 5 March 2010: This guy is a player and is using you and all those other girls for sex. He doesn't care about you as a person. You need to move on from him. He'll just use you, then dump you when the time is right. ... (read in full...)
Should I start a fight with the player or just keep quiet?
Q. Hi, I basically got played by a guy I had met a few times. The third time I was out with a load of guys and he didn’t seem to like it and was acting a bit jealous and possessive. He thought it was strange for a girl to be out with a group of ...
A. 5 March 2010: A man cheated on is wife. His wife found out, walked into the bar where we were and hit him, and screamed at him, insulted his performance and all that. Then was arrested, locked in a cell. Everyone afterwards didn't say 'God that woman was right to ... (read in full...)
I broke up with my boyfriend thinking he would want me back, now I don't know what to do!
Q. Hi everyone i need advice i broke up with my boyfriend thinking it would make him see wat he had once it was gone but he didnt chase after me we barely talk now he says he misses me after i tell him i miss him but i cant stop thinking about him he ...
A. 5 March 2010: This is something that doesn't work with men, as you've found. I know girls who have tried this before, and I know girls who have tried to make guys jealous before too. It never works. Men don't do subtle. They don't do hints. If there was a ... (read in full...)
Why do I only like older women?
Q. Basically,what the title says. I'm 21,and seem to only be interested in older women.I don't know why this is. I have found younger girls attractive,but they just don't "do it for me" like older women do.I dont know how to explain it. I have no id...
A. 5 March 2010: I'm the same as you. I'm even dating an older woman. For me, it's the difference in confidence. A lot of woman my age (22), are still defining themselves. My girlfriend already knows who she is and is happy for herself. Maybe it's just that you ... (read in full...)
I'm having trouble accepting the way he treats women because of his culture, is it true all men from the middle east are like this?
Q. Ok, my boyfriend is Kurdish. I love him so much but ive got the biggest problem with some of his attitudes, mainly about women but about other things as well. It's not just him, all his friends also have these attitudes, I'm told frequent...
A. 5 March 2010: This is their culture. Look at the middle east. Generally, it is accepted that man is the master. You can't make him see his behaviour is out of order, because from where he is from, it's not. You need to move on.... (read in full...)
I ejaculated in her face and now she is ignoring me.
Q. Well it all started when my freind suggested we hav sex ill admit it was great but it all went wrong when she went to finish me off she sucked me then told me to cum in her mouth i couldnt hold it long enough and ejaculated that hard i ended up ...
A. 5 March 2010: Give her time. Don't hassle her. ... (read in full...)
Is this too much to take on when my friend's death is so fresh in my mind?
Q. So I had asked for advice before when I was trying to deal with survivors guilt over the loss of my friend and just so everyone knows right off the bat, it has gotten better. So I hacve set up a team (Mary's Hope) for the local Walk To Defeat A...
A. 5 March 2010: This proves that in truth you hadn't moved on as much as you'd thought. Perhaps rather than actually moving on, you were merely putting it to the back of your mind. Hence when you decided to do this, it came back. Of course you're going to be hurt ... (read in full...)
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