| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Is this too much to take on when my friend's death is so fresh in my mind?
Q. So I had asked for advice before when I was trying to deal with survivors guilt over the loss of my friend and just so everyone knows right off the bat, it has gotten better. So I hacve set up a team (Mary's Hope) for the local Walk To Defeat A...
A. 5 March 2010: This proves that in truth you hadn't moved on as much as you'd thought. Perhaps rather than actually moving on, you were merely putting it to the back of your mind. Hence when you decided to do this, it came back. Of course you're going to be hurt ... (read in full...)
Why are parents happy when a son loses his virginity, but not the daughter?
Q. why when a son lose his virginity, the parents are so happy and proud? But when a daughter lose her virginity, the parents are so upset and mad?...
A. 5 March 2010: Society says woman should be idols of perfection, and as such untouched. Society says that man should be at it all the time. I'm afraid it's just double standards. The good news is you don't ever have to tell your parents what you're upto sexually. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants a roommate who is a girl.
Q. My boyfriend and I have had our ups and downs in our relationship. But we have gotten back together and this time it just felt like everything was right, like it was really going to work and the timing before was just off. Well, until tonight. ...
A. 5 March 2010: His ex's never had a problem with it? Yet they are all ex's. Maybe they had more of a problem then they wanted to let on. There are two issues here. Firstly, the issue of him having female friends. There is no problem with him having female friends. ... (read in full...)
I don't think he has the time for me, or maybe he just doesn't want to make the time?
Q. I met this nice sweet guy we went on our first date and it was nice. He says he works a lot and they switch up his shifts. Sense our first date I haven't really heard from him. So I text him asking him what's the problem and he says his been ...
A. 5 March 2010: If after a first date a man doesn't make effort, you can take it that he's not the one for you. A man who is interested will make the effort, no matter what. So I'd suggest moving on now.... (read in full...)
Is my penis too small to have sex?
Q. hey me and my girlfriend have planned to have sex next weekend but my penis is only 5.5 inches long what should i do ...
A. 5 March 2010: Given that you are under the age of consent, I'd suggest not doing it. There's nothing wrong with your size. ... (read in full...)
Do we have a future or am I just a girlfriend to him?
Q. I am 34yo, I have been divorced for almost 2 years. I have been dating this man for almost 4 months. He too has been divorced for almost 2 years. We get along great, he spends every spare second with me. I recently lost my job and he is completely ...
A. 5 March 2010: Marriage to him means nothing at this time because he's already been divorced. It's interesting that there are more women than men who place importance on that bit of paper, assuming it means commitment. It doesn't. You've both already been through ... (read in full...)
Would you consider a joke about pregnancy to be a deal-breaker?
Q. Would you consider a joke about pregnancy to be a deal-breaker? my Gf and my friend both decided it would be a good idea to play a prank on me, which i found really hurtful and distasteful. i was out last night and on the way home she was text...
A. 5 March 2010: I have to say it was completely insensitive, and God knows something like this would scare the hell out of me. However, she does seem very sorry for it. This girl seems to like her jokes a little bit too much. You mention that there are others that ... (read in full...)
I can't stand her jealousy...
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been together for a year and a half, and we are happy. Unfortunately, there is one thing that I really can't stand, and that is her jealousy. I'm 20 years old and have been offered to be a tutor for my college, and here is ...
A. 4 March 2010: This is the sort of woman to avoid. She's actually telling you not to take up a job. If I were you, I wouldn't hang around. I'd leave. Imagine what happens when you get a job and have to work late one night, or need to be in a meeting with other ... (read in full...)
Had an affair with a married man and now I cant stop thinking about him!
Q. Will I ever win my ex back? Its very complicated and sorry but a bit long! I had a bit of a fling with a guy I'd known for a while last summer, it only lasted 2 mths and he had seperated from his wife. After the fling ended he went home to try...
A. 4 March 2010: I'm sad to say it's option 1. When a man is married, he is off limits for this very reason. You got involved while he was married, whether the marriage was doomed or not, and simply put he was using you to get away from reality. Married men very ... (read in full...)
Do most prefer 'curvy' women?
Q. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-is-it-only-the-mans-biology-thats.html I want an opinion from the uncles of this site.Hopefully men will be able to shed more light on this. Is it true that majority of men only like curvaceous figur...
A. 4 March 2010: Nope, not true at all. Men all have different tastes. Some like thin, some like average, some like big. Depends on the man. ... (read in full...)
Does he want me back or does he just want sex?
Q. 2 days ago me and my ex (who lives 200 miles away) spent 4 hours on the phone chatting and I brought up the fact I want him back but he told me he had a gf. He told me he loved me but don't want to break this girls heart because he be no better than ...
A. 4 March 2010: Just wants sex, nothing more. End all contact.... (read in full...)
I think she is cheating while I am at work
Q. Hi , I have been engaged to my girlfriend for 8 months and am getting married next year. I work in a job which means 3 nights a week i have to work overnight and my fiancee still lives with our parents although we are moving into our first house ...
A. 4 March 2010: I think you should talk to her about it. The texts are a little too suspicious. ... (read in full...)
I want to divorce my husband and take my son abroad
Q. I want to divorce my husband and move abroad with my son. I know my husband and family will object strongly. Is there any way it is possible? I cant face the possiblity of leaving my son behind. My son is very close to his dad, and i am not doing ...
A. 4 March 2010: We need more information. Why do you want a divorce and why do you want to move abroad? Because if you go for it, you need to have very good reasons, of a judge might say he's better off with his family and friends here. We need more information.... (read in full...)
Crunch time for my husband, either see a doctor or I'll see a lawyer
Q. So I would like to ask what should I do about my terrible sex life, 2 years ago I caught my husband watching porn and wanking behind my back, apparently this had gone on for years of our married life in secret and led to him not wanting to have sex ...
A. 4 March 2010: I think it's ultimatum time. You've already discussed it with him, and he's done nothing. It can be embarrassing for men to have to discuss this, but at the same time he can't expect you to not have sex for the rest of your life. so yes, give him ... (read in full...)
Guy has his attention on me, does this mean that he is interested?
Q. There's a guy at my dance school, he's my partner for a few dances. I'm pretty new to the school, only been there a month and a bit, and I quite like this guy. We're partners for some rather intimate dances, and I'm confused as to whether he likes ...
A. 4 March 2010: He might do, but before you can make a decision, you need to get to know him more and speak to him more to see what he's like.... (read in full...)
Business turns to desire, turns to trouble.
Q. I had a close Male friend and we both had business dealings with each other. I was going through a bad spell in my marriage and I would discuss personal issues with him. He is single. Subsequently our relationship grew. I believe we developed ...
A. 4 March 2010: In many ways this is a good thing. That sounds a bit mad, but when you're crossing business with personal, things are bound to go wrong. You were using him as an emotional rock rather than really focusing on your marriage, and this could have ended ... (read in full...)
Old friend, kissed and cuddled, he says he's not ready for a relationship, I'm hurt??
Q. I recently came into contact with an old friend from the past. He had asked to see me, and was talking about how excited he was for days. He had asked me if i had a boyfriend, and i asked about his girlfriend. He was previously in a commited ...
A. 4 March 2010: I'm glad you've seen this before you took it further. I suspect right now that he is only interested in single and though likes you, really isn't ready to move on yet. so now you need to be brave and move on yourself.... (read in full...)
Friend said something true, which distrubed me, they feel bad, how do I explain my feelings?
Q. today a close friend of mine made me cry. but it was not on purpose, it was something they said an innocent observation, that rang true and all of a sudden i found myself with a big lump in my throat and left unexpectedly. well my nice friend c...
A. 4 March 2010: I agree, you could show her this. Or meet up with her, give her a big hug and say thanks for noticing. ... (read in full...)
Really like her, just broke up with her boyfriend, how long before I can ask her out?
Q. Alright, I'll get right to the point here I really like this girl, we are great friends and hang out with my bestfriend and her bestfriend ( kinda double dating ) every weekend. As I write this, she is telling me on msn how she misses love, and want...
A. 4 March 2010: Several weeks. Probably a month at least. Because you don't want to be the rebound. Remember, if she likes you, no other guy will stand a chance. But give her time, because if you don't you'll be the rebound.... (read in full...)
Just got married, flirtatious friend of wife, I think I want to have sex with her, what should I do??
Q. Help, i got married last year and i love my wife to bits. The problum is when we go out with her friends one of them flirts with me all night. At first i didnt mind but now i really want to have sex with her. I dont know if its because i know i cant ...
A. 4 March 2010: Go back home to your wife and put more effort into the marriage.... (read in full...)
Can anyone help me understand my dream, please help?
Q. Ok So I've Google this question and I can't seem to find the answer... For the past week or so I keep having the same dream, but for the past two nights it has slightly changed. Normally my memory of dreams isn’t very clear, can only remember...
A. 4 March 2010: You miss him, and you're hoping that he will come back into your life and take you away again. But at the same time, you're getting over him because you are pulling away in his dreams. So it's a mixture of you wanting him, but slowly getting over ... (read in full...)
My mom and dad want to use my credit and then have me go bankrupt, any way I can stop them?
Q. So I have sort of a financial problem... Apparently my dad and mom want to work up my credit then have me go bankrupt I have no specicfic reasons why so dey want to ... But I have no control and if I say no they stop talking to me... Why would I ...
A. 4 March 2010: This is insane. The is actually one of the worst things I have ever read. The good news is that you're over 18, so you don't need to give into them. They do not have control at all. If they do use your name, tell the police and have them done for ... (read in full...)
Together for 6 months, he wants to live together, says no marriage in short term future, should I dig deeper,if I want more?
Q. I’ve been with my BF for just over 6 months. A while ago we talked about marriage in general and he said that he sees it as a label mostly and that getting married doesn’t mean all will be fine in the future. He’s also said that he doesn’t see ...
A. 4 March 2010: Slow right down. You need to spend more time getting to know him and what he really wants.... (read in full...)
Husband gets bothered when asked how long his work day was!
Q. My husband has the ability to be flexible in his job schedule, so he doesn't really have a time he HAS to be to work, but he does normally work for 8 hours. If he comes home later than usual, I sometimes will ask him when he started work that day, ...
A. 3 March 2010: I agree. This response is a little suspicious to be honest. Most men will say that they were just at work and needed to work late. His response is very suspicious. Dig deeper though, before you confront him anymore. If he is hiding something, he ... (read in full...)
Help!!! When is enough, really enough?
Q. I am married. My marriage has not been full of butterflies and cupcakes. My husband is verbally abusive, treats me like I am beneath him and loves nothing more (i think) than to embarrass me in front of my family, friends and even my kids (the kids ...
A. 3 March 2010: Enough is well enough here. PLEASE leave him. He's abusive, he's cheated and blamed you for STD's, and he belittles you. Nothing has changed and you're not getting suicidal thoughts. Leave. ... (read in full...)
I don't think its fair to stay in a relationship with her if I'm not in love with her or feel close.
Q. I have been married for 12 years. For about the last 2 years I have felt more as if I married my sister. I love my wife, but I'm not in love with her. I dont feel close to her and I don't like to be intimate with her. Since I have been out of ...
A. 3 March 2010: Go back home to your wife, and work on your marriage. Tell her there are issues and that you would like to try and work it out. You love her, so you know this can be fixed with enough work. This high school sweetheart thing is a dream. Because the ... (read in full...)
Dumped and don't know what to do...
Q. Six months ago, an old classmate from high school contacted me on facebook. We never talked in high school, but knew who each other were. So we messaged each other back and forth for about three months, then decided to go out. Our first date was ...
A. 3 March 2010: There is more to this that meets the eye. Everyone has a bad day, we all get mad, and we all get snappy. That's no reason to dump someone over something so little. I'm not sure this is a guy you should bother with. He doesn't sound ready or mature ... (read in full...)
Concern over wife's old love letters...
Q. My Wife and I have been together for 6 years and have a good relationship with 2 wonderful children. About 4 years ago I found a picture of a naked man in her drawer and when I asked her about it, she said it was just an old friend and that nothing ...
A. 3 March 2010: Hi there worried hubby. I would suggest that this requires more digging before you confront her. Certainly her keeping these letters and the sheer volume would indicate something had been happening with this other guy, but as he has moved abroad, ... (read in full...)
I am stuck in a dead end relationship!
Q. I am stuck in a dead end relationship. Trying to get out. I have two men that I know like me but I have problems moving the relationship on. I dont know what or how to do it. The first guy is my big boss but he is married so I have been avo...
A. 3 March 2010: Finish the relationship you're in, because you've given it ten years and you're not happy. Don't touch the married man. no matter what he says, what he does, remember he is married and isn't going to leave his wife. He's after nothing but fun and ... (read in full...)
I acted on emotions and now regret leaving. How should I get him back?
Q. I've been dating this guy over a year. Yes we're not completely perfect couple but never had arguments but recently both of us were under so much stress. I would say that I'm logical person but emotional. Recently I've been realizing that our ...
A. 3 March 2010: If you want him back, do not slip any hint that would indicate you can move on. Because if you do, he will assume you will move on and you'll make it worse. Making a man jealous never works. Your best bet is to text him, say sorry for losing it and ... (read in full...)
Can I be friends with a girl who is older than I am?
Q. He cupid, i want to ask some question here. i met a girl on the internet. we shares pictures to each other and also share mobile number. she have a good work and i have a good work too. she was born in 1985 and i was born in 1987. now we are ...
A. 3 March 2010: Yes you can. Have fun.... (read in full...)
What is the limit of verbal abuse you can take from a boyfriend?
Q. Hi All! I'm looking for some brutally honest opinions/insights into tolerating bad behaviour from a partner. How many times would your limit be for verbal abuse or a partner who is on/off on/off always dumping you then coming back etc etc. I ...
A. 3 March 2010: On/off/on/off, and calls you names and insults your weight. This is how you will be for the rest of your life with this guy. So make a choice. On/off relationship with a man who doesn't give a damn, or try and find a better guy.... (read in full...)
My husband divorced me and is dating someone 13 years younger.
Q. i had been happily married for fifteen years with three children when my husband told me out of the blue he didnt love me any more. he moved out sold the family car for a sportier one and started making friends with younger women. he has been gone ...
A. 3 March 2010: No, you didn't. He had a midlife crisis. Your best bet now is to divorce him and move on as much as you can.... (read in full...)
Should I invest anymore time in this relationship?
Q. should I invest anymore time in this relationship? I been with my partner for just over 2 years. things started on complicated grounds. He is still married and lives with wife though they have technically split up but have to live together due to ...
A. 3 March 2010: He could say to her he's away on business. He could be telling her that he is you. Who knows. The point is, he is still married, and that's enough to make me suspicious. ... (read in full...)
Should I go to his house to confront him in a friendly manner?
Q. Hey guys, thanks for taking your time to read my problem :) I've been with this guy for a month and at first everything seemed to clicked. We had that instant attraction to each other. He used to txt me and ask how's it going almost every day...
A. 3 March 2010: He's just not into you. When you pulled away and offered no explanation to him (I'm assuming you didn't tell him you weren't ready), he figured you weren't interested. He has already moved on, and now you need to do the same.... (read in full...)
My current boyfriend searches for his ex-girlfriend on the computer all the time!
Q. Ok, I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for a year. He treats me really well, and has even quit smoking for me, even though he does not want to. And I mean, it must be for real, because I smell it at his apartment/on his breath if he ...
A. 3 March 2010: Ask him why there are pictures of is ex that are recent and see what he says. Confront him.... (read in full...)
I am really bored with sex and want to fix our love life. Please help!
Q. Ok here goes; I have been with my boyfriend (soon to be fiance) for almost three years. We have a young child with one on the way. We are having some sexual problems. When we first got together it was fine. Now I have gotten to the point I dont want ...
A. 3 March 2010: You need to spend some time finding out what works for you. He's not a mind reader, so won't know what you want unless you tell him. So spend time getting to know your own body and what you like, and then gently show him what you like.... (read in full...)
He has double standards when it comes to his porn watching and me masturbating...
Q. k so a while back i found my boyfriend was watching porn and all this shit , and i never really did a whole lot about it like at first i told him it was over but he wouldnt let me leave so we worked it out but i dunno lately ive just been thinking ...
A. 3 March 2010: A man who has double standards is a man you shouldn't be with. Simple as that.... (read in full...)
Should I invest anymore time in this relationship?
Q. should I invest anymore time in this relationship? I been with my partner for just over 2 years. things started on complicated grounds. He is still married and lives with wife though they have technically split up but have to live together due to ...
A. 3 March 2010: I will tell you straight that this man is using you. Your self esteem is preventing you from seeing the truth. He is using his wife, and is using you. Move on from him.... (read in full...)
He's asked me to marry him and I said yes... now I'm not so sure.
Q. Hi, I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years now and we have two children together under 2 years old. My boyfriends is always putting me down, we have no trust in each other, when we argue he always calls me horrible names. He is always saying h...
A. 3 March 2010: If there is no trust, and he treats you badly, then it won't last anyway. Any relationship needs to be built on trust, understanding and love. This sounds like a nightmare, since he doesn't trust you, you don't trust him, he treats you badly and ... (read in full...)
My fiance and I are having some serious issues, please help
Q. My fiance and I have been having some issues lately. First, let me say, I want advice on how to make it work, or at least try, I don't want to be told to just "give up." I want to try everything I can before we just call it quits because we do love ...
A. 3 March 2010: No disrespect, and I know you didn't want to hear this, but you have done everything you can. There isn't anything left that you can do. I can't think of anything to suggest, because you've already done it all. Re-read your post, and you'll see what ... (read in full...)
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