| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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My husband says he is not in to me, yet does not want a divorce or to work on it either.
Q. I have been married 24 years. About 12 years ago we started to grow apart. Intimacy became less and less. My husband's attitude towards me was that of disdain. There were in-law problems (they don't like me, I wasn't their choice). This became ...
A. 22 March 2010: No affairs. That will only complicate things. If he won't work on it, then you need to divorce him and move on. But don't have an affair. You'll be the one who ends up looking bad. And you never know, he might be wanting you to have an affair to ... (read in full...)
Help! This guy makes me have verbal diarreah!
Q. *OP's own title* I met this guy, with whom I share a lot of interests with. It is fresh and new. Super new actually. We've been on one date but have shared many hours talking on the phone and in person. I get so excited to talk to him I end up blab...
A. 22 March 2010: He keeps calling you and wants a second date!!!! :). He likes you, so don't worry. ... (read in full...)
I feel horrible that my wife was crying whilst we had sex! Does this mean she finds me repulsive?
Q. hi this is driving me nuts. me and my partner have been together for about 5 years we have children together and seem happy we have are ups and downs no big deal.but are sex life has got dull and not a lot of it i mean big gaps.we both made jokes ...
A. 22 March 2010: She's not cheating. And you're not ugly or repulsive. She has other things on her mind. My girlfriend cried in sex before. Once she was unhappy with me because she felt I just wanted sex. The other time she was upset about something that was on her ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend does not seem interested in my sexy texts. Why?
Q. I am trying new sexual things w/my boyfriend because he brought it to my attention. But when I try to send him a sexy text message he just goes to bed or seems uninterested. why???...
A. 22 March 2010: He probably doesn't know what to say to you. For all the talk you hear about me being unstoppable sex machines, we're actually very shy about it if we don't know what we're doing. You could gently ask him if he's okay with the texts you send him and ... (read in full...)
I want to break up with my GF, I'm so unhappy and I don't trust her, but I keep failing
Q. *OP's own title* I'm in a 2 years relationship. basically, i do not trust my GF. i'm sooo unhappy, i have been trying to break up with her for the past three months. all attempts failed. in fact, sometimes i end up having sex with her when im...
A. 22 March 2010: I think you have to break up with her. You're not really happy with aspects of her and you're getting her to change. And even when she has changed, you still don't trust her or like her behaviour. You have to address your own trust issues now, ... (read in full...)
I am considering divorce because of my husband losing his erection during sex. What could be causing this?
Q. I really need to know,if anybody else has the same problem,than me.. I'm just about to make the biggest decision of my life. Here is my story.. 24year long marriage,always good sex. Than suddenly my husband losing his erection ,middle sex, totally ...
A. 21 March 2010: 99.9% of the time, it's not the woman. I am positive it's not you. A lot of women make the mistake of thinking the erectile dysfunction is something to do with them. It really never is. He could be stressed, tired, ill. There are a million different ... (read in full...)
Can you dry hump naked?
Q. Can you dry hump naked?...
A. 21 March 2010: Yes, but it's not a good idea. It only takes a small amount of sperm in the right place and you're pregnant. ... (read in full...)
I forget to take the pill once or twice a week. Is it possible I am pregnant?
Q. I am on the pill but i sometimes forget to take it once or twice a week I had unprotected sex with my boyfriend and now im panicing Is it possible to have pregnancy symptoms 2 weeks since? I feel like im going to be sick alot, Im always really...
A. 21 March 2010: Take a pregnancy test and get checked by a doctor. ... (read in full...)
I was drunk and don't know what I did...help!
Q. im 15 and i was at a party and i sort of took a 21 year old boy back to my house and got into him :/ and let him stay till the morning but my friend was thier to and i was really drunk and i dont remeber anyhting! so i dont know what i havve do...
A. 21 March 2010: Get yourself checked at the doctor to make sure you're not pregnant or anything like that. Hopefully all that happened was that someone carried you upstairs. But it's worth getting checked out. And whatever you do, don't do this again. You don't ... (read in full...)
Should I move on and never look back or wait for his crazy madness to go away?
Q. -+My ex boyfriend just broke up with me. We had lots of issues due to my past. I’d been with guys he knows, and he demanded to know every detail. Because of the nature of this situation, it was hard for me to be 100% honest all the time, so he ...
A. 21 March 2010: Please please move on from this man. Cut him right out and never look back. A man who loves you doesn't treat you this way. Ever. He is certainly not the one for you at all. ... (read in full...)
Am I stupid, naive and frigid.. or is he manipulating me?
Q. I'm 14 and I have my first proper boyfriend (who is also 14), we were bestfriends beore going out what made everything abit easier, after a while of going out we started touching eachother through our clothes, I soon told him that's As far I'd like ...
A. 21 March 2010: There's nothing with you at all. Don't be pressurized and well done for sticking up for yourself. Never let someone pressurize you. ... (read in full...)
Please help me convince her to marry me!
Q. I plan to settle down with my girlfriend. We share a long distance relationship for the past 3 years. I am well settled however, my girlfriend is still studying and her studies are expected to get over by April 2010. She says its too early to be ...
A. 21 March 2010: She's not ready and has made it clear. You have to abide your time. If you're still strong in a couple of years, go for it. But right now, she has made it clear that she's not ready at all. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and his mates are groping me. It turns me on but I am scared they will take it further.
Q. My boyfriend has been grabbing me in front of his friends and they have been joining in on grabbing me, ass smacking and pinching and grabbing my breasts. It is a turn on but I'm afraid they will go farther and want more. Any advice?...
A. 21 March 2010: Yes. Dump him. A man who feels you up in front of his friends needs to be told off. But when he's allowing his friends to do it too, he has no respect. You can do better. Don't stand around and be used. You're not an object, you're a woman. Remember ... (read in full...)
Should I propose to her even tho I don't have the ring yet?
Q. Heya! This is a quick but potentially huge question to ask of you guys. I am planning to propose to my girlfriend:-) I have permission from her dad and I am commissioning the ring, which I know she'll love. However, today we are going out to a s...
A. 21 March 2010: So it when you have the ring. Women are never impressed when someone says something, but doesn't have the object to back it up. It's like saying Happy Birthday, but sorry your present is in the post. Always have the object ready. In this case, have ... (read in full...)
The only time she really acts like she loves me is when I break up with her and she wants me back!
Q. me and my girlfriend have been dating for 3 months and i think i love her but everytime i talk to her it makes me sad. but when i dont talk to her im also sad. i have broke up with her 3 or 4 times but i always start to miss her in an hour or two ...
A. 21 March 2010: End it. She doesn't love you. She's just keeping you around so she can say she has a boyfriend and it gives her a little comfort. This won't work out at all. You'll just waste your life and time on a woman who doesn't care about you. There is a ... (read in full...)
What do I do, he seems to be scared of a relationship!
Q. What can you do with a guy who isn't sure he likes you enough or is afraid of the idea of a relationship or SOMETHING, who knows what, that's stopping him from being with you? He sometimes says things like I'm the only woman he ever thinks about but ...
A. 21 March 2010: You have two choices. You can either continue to get to know him, and see where it leads, or you can let him go. I'd suggest that you continue to get to know him. The best reassurance that you can offer is to just be there, let him get to now you ... (read in full...)
Although I am not a virgin I would prefer to wait before having sex with my new boyfriend
Q. Hi, I have a question for the guys mainly, but any feedback at all would be appreciated. This question is a bit long, sorry. See, I've been dating this great guy for a few weeks. We've known each other a couple of months through a mutual friend but ...
A. 21 March 2010: You should probably have a discussion with him now. If he has enough respect for you and wants to get to know you, then he will wait. If he doesn't, he's not the one. Just be honest and tell him that you want to wait and see where the relationship ... (read in full...)
I am 14, my boyfriend cheats, should I stick with him?
Q. erm, you might not think its much, but I don't know how to react. me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 months, and a couple of months ago he got off with this girl a couple of times and we nearly split up. I stayed with him but it took age...
A. 21 March 2010: Dump him. He's cheated several times, and you do deserve better. He'll continue to cheat. Get rid of him. Just tell him you know he's cheating, and you can do better than a little immature boy who cheats. Then cut contact. ... (read in full...)
A dedicated Christian is preaching at me!
Q. There is a friend of mine who is a dedicated Christian. He has been preaching most of the time we meet, but, despite some 'miracles I have seen, I refuse to convert. I would like to tell him to stop the preaching but I am worried it will come out ...
A. 21 March 2010: Don't think for one minute you can change him. You can't. he wont' change. And since you shouldn't change for him either, I'd suggest that you stop this relationship now. He won't get of your back about it. Neither of you are suited. You both have ... (read in full...)
I cheated on two boys, does that make me a slut?
Q. How much of a horrible slut am I? Here's the story. I was 17 and 1/2 when I met a guy, who shall be called Mason, only a few weeks younger than me through my cousin on XBOX Live. We talked for a few weeks but didn't actually meet because he ...
A. 21 March 2010: Instead of sitting there and calling yourself a slut, ask yourself why you are doing this. Sitting there and crying and just putting yourself down won't help you at all. In life, people screw up, people make mistakes. There isn't anyone who hasn't ... (read in full...)
If the messages in the Bible can only be revealed to the reader by the Holy Spirit residing in you, then why are there so many denominations?
Q. I know this isn't a relationship question... well not a romantic relationship question. But this has been bugging and confusing me for a long time. I don't really have anyone I can talk to about this. I thought of myself as a Christian but I d...
A. 21 March 2010: What I believe is this. Everyone interprets religion in their own way. You should never take the word of anyone else over something that means this much to you. You have to do what you think is right. As long as you're a nice person, and you try to ... (read in full...)
Lifeless relationship - Is this how it is suppose to be when you have kids?
Q. *OP's own title* I met my current "fiance" and 2 months later we were surprisingly pregnant, it was a shock. We had a hard pregnancy and didn't get along well. Now 2 years later our relationship is still failing; he doesn't show affection, caring o...
A. 21 March 2010: This was something that never was really working in the first place. And now a baby has come along and made it all a bit difficult. Relationships shouldn't be like this. Of course they all go through hard times, but when after two years nothing is ... (read in full...)
How do you contract herpes?
Q. If I get cold sores occasionally, am I going to get genital herpes? Or is that only if your partner has cold sores and gives you oral or if he has genital herpes and you have unprotected sex???...
A. 21 March 2010: If you only get cold sores, you shouldn't get genital herpes. But if you give your partner oral sex or sex when you have a cold sore, they can contract it. ... (read in full...)
Kissless...
Q. I am an older woman involved with a man my own age, we have a good sex life but he does not kiss me or just gives me a kiss on the forehead or a very swift peck on the lips. What is his problem?...
A. 21 March 2010: It could be that he has a problem with close intimacy. Perhaps he has been hurt in the past badly, or perhaps because is is of an older generation, he just finds it hard to open up. It might be worth gently talking to him about it, and seeing what ... (read in full...)
He told me dreamed about kissing me - why won't he actually do it?
Q. My relationship with my friend is driving me crazy. We met a little over a month ago through a mutual friend while he was still dating a girl who is now his ex. Lately we have been spending a lot of time together going out, hanging out at my ...
A. 21 March 2010: He's not ready, that's why. He needs to be sure how he feels about you before he makes a move. He obviously cares about you a lot, certainly too much to just use you as a rebound. If and when he is ready, and he's sure he likes you, he will make his ... (read in full...)
What are my chances of having a long term girlfriend???
Q. I'm 22 and I've never had a long term girlfriend and although my confidence is a lot better than a year ago (let alone when I started uni 2 and half years ago), I worry that if I will struggle to find a girlfriend when I work full time. I do ...
A. 21 March 2010: Rubbish, you have a great chance of meeting a girl. I didn't meet my girlfriend through work, or anything work related. As long as you're a nice guy, and you're just out there meeting people, you'll meet a great girl. In the meantime, focus on your ... (read in full...)
Is it time for a break?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for 6 months. The first 3 months were like the moon and stars aligned and it was made of things that novels are written about. At the beginning of the new year, our blissfulness wore off. His future ex (he is ...
A. 20 March 2010: Your gut is right. This man is no good to you at all as it is. And if you need to take a break after just 6 months, then things just really are not right. Think carefully about whether you would be better ending it entirely. ... (read in full...)
I love two men so how should I decide?
Q. i have a real problem, i am in love with two men. i love both of them equally but one i have been with for 5 years and the other i met about 15 months ago (but has been secret lovers for about 3 months). they both have some issues that need ...
A. 20 March 2010: Neither man is right. When you can't decide, it's because neither option is right for you. It's the same for almost all of life's decisions. There is always a decision to be made. Sometimes you can make the decision, in which case there was an ... (read in full...)
How could he forget me so easily?
Q. how could he forget all about me so easy? my ex left me 3 years ago.we were married for 15 years and have 2 children. my son was only 8 weeks old when I found out that he has been cheating on me with his nurse while I was pregnant. He sai...
A. 20 March 2010: My guess is this is some kind of midlife crisis. Men going through these problems often blame the person closest to them, rather than themselves. The truth is that he is angry with himself and how own life, but doesn't want to face up to it. So he ... (read in full...)
How would a guy feel if an "old friend" decided to talk to him after 6months?
Q. I really need male point of views in this What would a guy think if a girl he used to like just stopped talking to him. No reason, whatsoever and kept ignoring him. Well how would that guy feel if that girl decided to talk to him after 6mo...
A. 20 March 2010: You need to keep it simple with him. He's probably hurt and confused by it all. So he may resent you or turn you away. But you need to do this, because if you don't, you'll regret it. So just speak to him and see what he says. ... (read in full...)
Husband gave me an STD so what now?
Q. My husband cheated and I found out because after a doctors visit I have an std. What should I do, because we have a horrible past and I just began trusting him again? ...
A. 20 March 2010: If there was more to this before, and he cheated, then leave. This man has given you an STD without an regard for you whatsoever. Move on before he does something else to hurt you. ... (read in full...)
This isn't normal to not be pregnant at my age, right?
Q. iam 21 years old . and ive been with my fiance for 3 years . iam starting to freak out that i wont be able to have children . for the past 3 years we've been having unprotected sex. this isnt normal not to get pregnant at my age is it ? . i thought ...
A. 20 March 2010: If you're worried, then it's worth going to the doctor and having yourself and your boyfriend checked for fertility problems. ... (read in full...)
I want to leave him so should I?
Q. okay we've been together 2 years and all he does play video games we don't talk or really do anything together . we don't have sex i want to leave him what should i do...
A. 20 March 2010: If your age range is right, leave. No man in his thirties should be spending all his time on video games and neglecting his girlfriend. ... (read in full...)
Guy seems to jump fom liking one girl to the next. Is it normal?
Q. I have this guy friend, he used to be in love with me just over a month ago, then he got a girl friend and things were really good between them until he started having feelings for my best friend, and was also saying he never stopped wanting me. He ...
A. 20 March 2010: Don't let him near you romantically. He's just using all the girls he can. ... (read in full...)
Back and forth online argument and I don't think that I should apologize.
Q. Evening peeps! I would like some opinions on my current situation please. On facebook recently I put as my post " Im 99.9 per cent sure children are more messy than dogs,lol!" Now this post was regards to my mate who'd I'd just gone to visit. S...
A. 20 March 2010: I think you shouldn't bother replying to this woman at all. Don't take anymore notice of her. It's clear that your post hit a raw nerve, but at the end of it, it was a post that wasn't directed at anyone, and you did try to explain. If your cousin ... (read in full...)
Will I be able to conceive in the future?
Q. I am 21 year old girl, will i be able to conceive in near future? I started masturbating at the age of 10 and my periods started at the of 17 and they are not even regular, i take medicines but they are not regular. So will i be able to ...
A. 20 March 2010: Of course it's not embarrassing. Believe me, the doctor will have seen and heard just about everything. I am positive if you tell him you are just worried that you might not be able to conceive that he will be able to help. ... (read in full...)
What do you guys think about me wanting a baby?
Q. hey im 15 and for the last 4 years i have been dying for a baby. i keep telling my self to atleast wait untill ive left college, so i can, find a nice partner who loves me and will stay with me no matter what even if he gets me pregnant. get a job ...
A. 20 March 2010: I just answered another question like this for someone. I'll say the same thing, more or less. You're not stupid for wanting a baby, since it's perfectly natural. And you're very sensible to want to wait. A baby in the UK costs £10,000 a year on ... (read in full...)
Why do I crave a baby at such a young age?
Q. im 13 and i want a baby so bad.But im not frisky like some girls these days. Im an average teen. girl have friends, well known, captain of an cheerleading squad, go to school, want to go to collage, love giving advice, and love hanging out. My only ...
A. 20 March 2010: I'm sure there are a lot of women who have felt the same at your age. It's a natural thing. There is nothing wrong with feeling this way, so long as at this time you don't act on it. I'm sure you will be a great mum one day. But you need to be in a ... (read in full...)
Is this relationship with an older woman worth continuing?
Q. A few weeks ago, I met a woman in my town and we had a sexual encounter. Since then, we have been seeing each other on a regular basis on the premise of nothing more but just fun together. I hadn't had sex for about 2 years until I met her but after ...
A. 20 March 2010: If all you want is fun, then yes. But you seem to be having second thoughts. And if you're having second thoughts, then it's worth moving on for your own sake. So decide whether you just want this fun, or whether you want to move on.... (read in full...)
4 months into his marriage and he started dating me... how do you see my future?
Q. He asked me out and i said no for a whole year because i thought he wasnt serious. Then he got married but didnt stop, i thought my feelings would disappear but they havent. 4 months into his marriage we started dating and i have never been ...
A. 20 March 2010: You aren't anything to him, and you'll get very hurt. Stop seeing him. ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my girlfriend I want to try sex with a guy???
Q. How do I tell my girlfriend I want to try sex with a guy?...
A. 20 March 2010: You don't. You're either committed to her, or you're not. If you want go experiment, then you must leave her first. Don't tell her this though, it will hurt her.... (read in full...)
Will I be able to conceive in the future?
Q. I am 21 year old girl, will i be able to conceive in near future? I started masturbating at the age of 10 and my periods started at the of 17 and they are not even regular, i take medicines but they are not regular. So will i be able to ...
A. 20 March 2010: Only a doctor will be able to tell you whether you can conceive or not. So if you want to know, it would be better to speak to a doctor to be sure. ... (read in full...)
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