| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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I love her but I want to be selfish too! What do I do?
Q. So this is the story of my relationship... I met my girlfriend at work. We became good friends working together. She was going through a tough time with her then, husband. She was planning on leaving him, and at the time I was trying to just be ...
A. 2 April 2010: Leave he. It's clear now that you were in no way ready for a relationship like this, and to stay and try to hang on when you know it's not what you want will only make things worse. Leave her, and never look back. ... (read in full...)
The big question is... Do we have a future together?
Q. I have been seeing a married man for almost 2 years, we are very comfortable with each other and both enjoy being together, he has never promised me anything but says he does eventually want a future together. I am seperated from my husband but my ...
A. 1 April 2010: No. If he loved you, he would have left. And I think you know it. He won't leave her because he has the best of both worlds. There is no future here.... (read in full...)
Is he full of shit? Once a cheater always a cheater?
Q. I broke up with my b/f a month ago. Been together for 4 years. I finally caught him cheating. I have dealt with him dirty dancing with two other girls, sex texts to his friend(thats a girl) I have dealt with more sex texts from 3 different ...
A. 1 April 2010: This one will always be a cheater. Run a million miles away from him.... (read in full...)
Where can we go on a date?
Q. Hey, I've been with my boyfriend for six months and he promised that when he had the money, he'd take me out on a date. I've only ever been on one date with him; it was to the cinema, I paid. The other day he asked me where my ideal date would be...
A. 1 April 2010: Good God girl at 6 months he REALLY should have done something with you and actually paid for it. I'd take another look at your relationship. ... (read in full...)
Am I blinded by love or just plain stupid?
Q. Ok... I am at a crossroads in my relationship. My girlfriend and I have been together for about 18 months. But we have known each other for over 2.5 years. When we met, we were both in relationships, and began as friends. We BOTH cheated on our ...
A. 1 April 2010: You're blinded. Get rid of her ASAP. ... (read in full...)
Should I try again with my husband?
Q. 2 1/2 years ago I asked my husband for a little space to evaluate our relationship and work on our problems. After a month he started a physical relationship with another woman. I was so hurt and devastated by this, that I took him back and even ...
A. 1 April 2010: No, he's failed you twice. On both occasions where you have wanted space to reflect upon your relationship, he has instantly run into another woman's arms. He's not worth any more of your time. He's really not.... (read in full...)
Should I try some marijuana just for the experience?
Q. i am 21 years old and i have never smoked,drank or any other stuff! but all my friends do it..and since i hang out with them all the time i felt an urge to do it too and i tried smoking and i liked it but i am not addicted to it or anything but i d...
A. 1 April 2010: Waste of time. Why bother? Yes, plenty have done it, but there's always a chance you could suffer from paranoia, or have a breakdown or something. Why waste time and money?... (read in full...)
In love with a murderer...
Q. *OP's own title* I consider myself to be a great catch. Cute, educated, fun, kind, caring, etc. I have not had luck finding a lasting relationship, and about two years ago, I went on a website where prisoners post ads for pen-pals. I wrote to a few ...
A. 1 April 2010: Your bad experience with men before are leading you to choose men who are in no way suitable. You're putting yourself in a situation where you will either get physically hurt, or you'll end up being used for money. You're a great catch, so don't ... (read in full...)
Why does a guy want you to say his name during sex?
Q. this is a pretty simple question really....Why does a guy want you to say his name during sex? is it jut for ego or does it actually have a purpose?...
A. 1 April 2010: It's all for the ego, and also makes us feel loved. ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to have thick brown discharge after a colposcopy?
Q. *OP's own title* I had my colposcopy two days ago and I have noticed an increasing amount of this thick chocolate milk-colored discharge. It doesn't smell foul as though there is an infection, but it definitely smells strong. Like, I'm not a woma...
A. 1 April 2010: Go back to the doctor and get checked. It may be nothing, but it may be something and it's much safer to get yourself checked. ... (read in full...)
He says he loves me and wants me in his life but he doesn't know "how much" in love with me he is. What is going on in his head?
Q. i have been seeing a guy for 6 years. we have been through a lot together. i love him with all my heart, but the other day he said i love you but i dont kmow how much in love with you that i am. and then he said but i do love you and want you as a ...
A. 1 April 2010: At 6 years, he should know how much he loves you. I think this is more a case that he wants you around, but doesn't want to be totally committed to you. I think you need to think about what you want from life and whether you want just this or more. ... (read in full...)
I just want to know how long before I feel whole again?
Q. I have written here in the past because my husband was going through some very troubled times. I thought I had been living with an alcoholic only to recently find out he has borderline personality disorder which caused his erratic impulsive ...
A. 1 April 2010: I am sorry for your loss and I'm sure you're hurting a lot because of your loss. It is very hard to lose someone, even if they were not always happy. Your husband was impulsive, and made decisions erratically and without all the thought it needed. ... (read in full...)
My friend is having problems with her boyfriend, and now I have feelings for her boyfriend and I think he feels the same way!
Q. My friend and her boyfriend have been having a lot of fights lately. But her boyfriend like me and I like him. But the problem is that he flirts with other guys with him not around. He also knows it. What should I do?...
A. 1 April 2010: Stay right out of it. Their relationship is crumbling and both are looking for quick fixes elsewhere. Stay right out of it. You know he's flirting with other woman, so you're no more special to him than any other woman. Let them sort out their mess ... (read in full...)
He told me he needs time to think and clear his head, what does this mean for us?
Q. My boyfriend finally broke up with me. My actions had gotten the best of him, and he couldn't do it any more. It is now that I want him back,and it's too late he is saying..I'm going to keep trying and trying because I love him so much, I just don't ...
A. 1 April 2010: It means he's either thinking, or he has made the decision to move on. I think right now he is thinking. So you have to give up total space and not contact him. He now has to come to you. ... (read in full...)
Should I get involved with a guy who has another women pregnant?
Q. Should I get involved with a guy who has another women pregnant? Hi I started hanging out with a guy and we really hit it off it's only been a week and 2 days but I really like him and he makes me laugh. The only thing is he told me that he has a...
A. 1 April 2010: He has told you everything you want to hear. He's said he's a reformed player, he's said he's got another woman pregnant, and he's already said you're the 'one'. I bet you he said nearly all those things to that other woman as well. You're walking ... (read in full...)
I know I did the right thing leaving, so why am I crying over his new girlfriend?
Q. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 12 years and father of my 3 daughters. I was good until i heard he was dating this new girl. I know that i did the right thing by making him leave but ever since i heard that i find my self sad, crying ...
A. 1 April 2010: Call of those friends of yours and get out there and have some fun. You're upset because he has been able to move on, while you at this time haven't. So throw yourself into your life. When your kids are away, go out. Start a new hobby and meet new ... (read in full...)
Husband left and now he wants me back, but I"m pregnant with another man baby.
Q. *OP's own title* I have been married for about five years now. My husband left me eight months ago. We have a daughter together. My husband states that he needed to get his life together. Meanwhile got rid of his wedding band and ask for mine. The ...
A. 1 April 2010: Your marriage was falling apart before. So to go back and abort your baby for the husband who has already hurt you and probably not changed, will really destroy you. I say keep the baby and the new guy. Remember that an abortion is your choice, and ... (read in full...)
The men I met online seemed interested in me, but all three disappeared all of a sudden!
Q. Hi everyone. I'm dumbfounded. In the past six weeks I have met three men on a dating site, established good email communication over a couple of weeks, met and had a wonderful time. Spent 3 to 5 hours talking, dining and having a very good time. All ...
A. 1 April 2010: I think all three men were after sex, and didn't get it so moved on. They said all the right things at all the right moments. Then when you didn't respond, they looked for others who would. Please don't take it personally. I do think you're a lovely ... (read in full...)
He never invites me out, and then expects me to pick him up drunk at 6 am!
Q. Why does my husband do this?? He goes out with the guys about once a month. Most of them are the guys he works with. He never invites me and I know that there are other women there because when he calls me I can hear the laughing in the backgrou...
A. 1 April 2010: It's just once a month, so it's no real big deal. However, in the future, he can use public transport. That's what it's for. Don't wake your poor kid up anymore, he's exhausted. And don't be afraid to have a girls' night out as well.... (read in full...)
Could there be any consequences with my job for marrying one of my students father?
Q. I'm a first grade teacher who found myself attracted to the father of one of my students. He has shared custody of his son and is quite involved in his son's life. However, he maintains almosts zero communication with his ex. I maintained a ...
A. 1 April 2010: It's legal, and you shouldn't have any problems with your job.... (read in full...)
Different sized testicles.
Q. My left testicle is a fair bit bigger than my right one. Am I not normal?...
A. 1 April 2010: It's normal to have on bigger than the other. However, if you're worried about it at all, it's worth speaking to a doctor to get checked. ... (read in full...)
Can anyone explain why I feel guilty?
Q. Right i wrote here before regarding my alcoholic ex boyfriend who smashed my windows and how he was awful to me. well idiot me got back with him and he got worse and worse he has smashed every window in my house cut the sky cable and just been ...
A. 1 April 2010: Stop blaming yourself for this other guy's actions, and stop feeling guilty for him too. You're taking on a load of blame rather than address the issue of your self esteem.
Your family will blame you, because it's easier to blame you than him sinc... (read in full...)
My "friends with benefits" girl has fallen for me, and I'm torn between losing her for good or being in a relationship when I'm not sure I want it
Q. Hi all, Im in a right mess here :( This is rather long winded so i hope at least someone can be patient enough to read and respond. I have had what can only be described as a friend with benefits for the last 11 months. We're like best frie...
A. 1 April 2010: You have to end it. It would be cruel to string her along in a relationship that wouldn't work out. Let her go so she can find a guy who will love her unconditionally. ... (read in full...)
Should I stay or should I go?
Q. My husband of 7 years started using drugs again. I truly love him but with his recent actions I am torn-what should I do stay with him and help him through this and hope for the real him to come back? He tells me to leave but I know its just the ...
A. 1 April 2010: No disrespect, but this IS the real him. People in love will do anything in the hope that something will change. You are dreaming that he'll change back into the guy he was without the drugs because you think that's the real him. The sad reality is ... (read in full...)
Am I doing anything wrong by chatting to my female penpal?
Q. I have signed up to a penpal site and have started talking to a girl. Should I feel bad or guilty as I have a girlfriend – I’m not flirting merely chatting and she knws i’m taken but I don’t think my gf would be to pleased if she knew. Am i doing ...
A. 1 April 2010: Technically, no. But realistically, your girlfriend will not be all that happy if she finds out. And you admit that yourself, so why test it? Best to stop it all now before you end up with nothing.... (read in full...)
I'm worried by his behaviour, am I just over-reacting?
Q. my ex and i have been talking for a few months...he needs time to get his head together before getting back into things with me. Noone did anything bad, I think he just needs time...not ready to be in a relationship again. The times we talk it seems ...
A. 1 April 2010: Yes, I'm afraid you're over reacting a lot. You're not together (you say he's an ex), and that means he can do what he likes. He could have been out with friends, he could have been doing anything other than being with another woman. You need to do ... (read in full...)
Should I stay over at his house? He says all he wants to do is cuddle.....
Q. I have been in a relationship with my bf for a month now and he wants me to go to his room and stay over for a night. He said he only wants to cuddle me to bed and won't do anything. Should I agree with him?...
A. 1 April 2010: Wait. He wants sex, he's just trying to lie about it.... (read in full...)
Question about breast implants - saline or silicone?
Q. Hello! I'm considering getting breast implants. I have been researching the different types, methods of implant, and things which can go wrong. Overall, I've got a very clear picture. I have one problem, I'm debating whether to get saline or silic...
A. 1 April 2010: Since your confident and sure about it, the best person to talk to would be an actual surgeon, or someone who has actually had them done. That way you get the best information first hand. ... (read in full...)
I don't understand why I have started feeling this way about my friend, what can I do?
Q. My best guy friend used to be in love with me, or so he says, he says he's never liked anyone as much as he liked me. About a month back he got a girlfriend, it was like a slap in the face when I found out, but I guess thats because I thought he ...
A. 1 April 2010: You want what you can't have. He liked you and you enjoyed the attention. Now he doesn't, you miss the attention and you're jealous. You don't really fancy him at all. You just like the attention. If you got him, you'd only dump him. And let's be ... (read in full...)
She's getting attracted to girls again, and is bugging me to let do something with them! I think it's cheating. Help!
Q. Me and my girlfriend 'W' have been together for almost a year and a half. We met at school and liked each other straight away. I was shocked to learn recently that she used to only like girls, and has in the past had girlfriends, but she says it ...
A. 31 March 2010: End it. She wants to have her cake and eat it while keeping you around like a safety blanket. The bottom line is that if she was really that into you, this wouldn't have even come up. She's not the one. Move on now before you get hurt.... (read in full...)
Why would he not say a word after everything that's happened? What's going through his mind?
Q. im really confused at the moment and recently ive had no sleep.' the reason i think this is happening is because of this one lad. ( sorry about poor punctuation as my full stop doesnt seem to want to work [Mod note: I put some in for you, thanks for ...
A. 31 March 2010: I agree that he's not all that into you. Pull back and make him fight for you a bit. If he doesn't, you'll know he's not the one. ... (read in full...)
My friend is really annoying, negative and moody lately!
Q. My friend seems to be really annoying nagative and moody lately. Im in love with this boy and im texting her about him and she claims shes all annoyed with my obsessive talking about him. And thats such a load of bull. She will rant and rave about ...
A. 31 March 2010: She's either jealous, worried about losing you, or just self centred. Try talking to her and asking her in general how she is (there could be something in her life that is hurting). If that doesn't work, don't be afraid to pull away from her a bit.... (read in full...)
Why is my son's father refusing to introduce me to his new girlfriend?
Q. my son father and I are not together we haven't been even before my son was born. We have been having "relations" off and but when I found out he have a girlfriend it stop but he still asks . Just recently he has a girlfriend all of a sudden and ...
A. 31 March 2010: It could be 2 reasons.
1 - He just doens't want you to know her.
2 - He is playing both you and her. ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is begging to not lose me... I need as much advice as possible!
Q. Recently, I posted an a thread about me and my ex having some issues with other people in our relationship. This is the last post I wrote..Okay so, me and my girlfriend got back together after a 1 month split up and we are doing great. Before t...
A. 31 March 2010: 3 chances is too much. There are better women out there who only need one chance because they get it right and don't screw up. I'm with g1605. You gave her one extra chance. That was enough. She WILL do it again, because she already has done it ... (read in full...)
I can't get over this guy or put it aside! Help!
Q. Hello. So I've mentioned this before...a person I like in my class. Its almost been a year and I still like this person. We certainly are good friends now but it stops at that. I don't feel as bad as I used to about the fact that most probably...
A. 31 March 2010: If you want to get over him, you have to cut contact. Completely. It's clear he's not interested at all in you as a girlfriend, because if he was he would have made a move. If you want to get over him, you need him out of your life.... (read in full...)
I'm in pieces because I feel like my boyfriend no longer loves me! And my period is late, he's not exactly there for me.
Q. im in pieces because i feel like my boyfriend of a year no longer loves me. last night i was next to him in bed crying in pain as i had a stomache ache, he just rolled round and fell asleep, despite me led in pain crying my heart out, he must of ...
A. 31 March 2010: You need to talk to him first before we can really give you any advice. We need to know more about what he thinks. ... (read in full...)
How do I stop liking this total jerk?!?
Q. There is a guy i have an /enormous/ crush on. he smokes weed, he drinks, he's in a gang, but he never stops smiling, and he's totally cute. I cannot understand why i can't stop liking him He's abusive. Not like kicking and punching, just lik...
A. 31 March 2010: Look at yourself. Look at your own confidence, your happiness, your esteem. If any of those are low, that's probably a major reason. Also ask yourself if you actually want to be a nobody to a guy like this, or a somebody to someone else. It's a ... (read in full...)
I've been having unprotected sex with my boyfriend for months,but I did take 3 contraceptive pills at once, could I be pregnant?
Q. im a bit confused.... 2 days before i was due on my period i took 3 conterception pills in one night, i heard that by doing that it can delay your period for a couple of days, is that true? but im now 5 days late on my period, these past few m...
A. 31 March 2010: Go to the doctor and get checked. ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't my husband want any children??
Q. my husband and i have been together for 13 yrs now. we have 2 children although only one is biologically his. we have currently come across a problem. when i bring up the subject of another child, he says he doesnt want anymore. he knows that this ...
A. 31 March 2010: This is something you won't win. For two reasons. 1 - He doesn't want another child. 2 - A man who doesn't want another child is saying he doesn't want another child for a good reason. If you're looking for another child, this man will not give in ... (read in full...)
How can I convince him to take the next step?
Q. i in iove with a married man and he feels the same but he is afraid to leave his wife. we get on together and share a lot. how can i convince him to take the next step? We are same age, we trust each other too....
A. 31 March 2010: You've been had. He doesn't love you, he's just using you. If he didn't love his wife, then he would have left in a second before he'd even met you. He's not going to leave, he's just going to use you. ... (read in full...)
I don't think my boyfriend's mum likes me!
Q. i dont think my boyfriends mum likes me, i have been with my boyfriend for over a year now. and the other day, he said somthing that i didnt think he meant to say, he told me his mum thinks i moan to much, and just attention seeks? i know i moan, ...
A. 31 March 2010: He loves you and that's all that matters. She's just worried about letting him go. ... (read in full...)
Can anyone explain why I feel guilty?
Q. Right i wrote here before regarding my alcoholic ex boyfriend who smashed my windows and how he was awful to me. well idiot me got back with him and he got worse and worse he has smashed every window in my house cut the sky cable and just been ...
A. 28 March 2010: For a woman to feel this way, even after all that she has suffered, usually indicated a serious lack of esteem.
Take a look at your life. Are you happy with it? Have you got low confidence, or low esteem? Do you feel like you need to be need... (read in full...)
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