| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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An affair that has destroyed me
Q. *OP's own title* won't go into the details the affair lasted over a year. We were caught four months ago. My husband wants to fix our marraige I don't. All I CAN think about is this other man. Will I ever get over this. Feel so alone. My heart is...
A. 25 March 2010: How do you know he wasn't in a committed relationship? You say he has a partner who he doesn't live with. That could be a lie. ... (read in full...)
This boy may like me or he just doesn't care.
Q. I'm a girl of 14 and I really like this boy in my school. He tells me he likes me as well but I get the idea that he's leading me on. My friends think he likes me but I'm still not sure. He even called me boring last night but will not tell me why! ...
A. 24 March 2010: Yes, he likes you. But get him to do some chasing. Be harder to get. If he likes you, he can do some running. If he doesn't do some running, leave him in the past. ... (read in full...)
Unreasonable???
Q. I need URGENT advice here, Me and and my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years were due to view an apartment this evening which had been planned a few weeks ago. We were hoping to move into this apartment on 24th April, very soon. There has been a lot of ...
A. 24 March 2010: I'm afraid so. You can reschedule the house. You can't reschedule the fact he has just become an Uncle. Don't pick a fight you can't win. This, you won't win. ... (read in full...)
He tries to call but never sends SMS to say what he wants
Q. I have a question about my ex, why does he just keep on trying to call me when he can send me an SMS. We are both used to SMS before and after our relationship. The last time he sent me SMS, i didn't reply any more. And so his calls came which I ...
A. 24 March 2010: He may just want to talk. So now you have to make a decision. Do you want to let your ex back into your life, or continue to leave him out of it. ... (read in full...)
She said I was too small for her. Do other girls think the same?!
Q. I was with my girl and one thing led to another at that time... When the pants came off, she just looked blankly and told me bluntly "Hun... you're sorta too small. I... don't think you can do it for me." Then she got up flustered, apologiz...
A. 24 March 2010: She's just a little girl who has no understanding of men at all. You're far better off without her.... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he want to set a date for our marriage???
Q. My boyfriend and i have been together for over two years now. We got engaged a few months ago. He was unemployed at the time. Now he has a job but doesn't want to set a date any time soon. He said he would let me know when he was ready to set a ...
A. 24 March 2010: Some men just need to take a little time over it. However, some men also propose and then get nervous and commitment phobic, so don't set a date. I suggest you give it a time limit (say 6 months), then have a discussion with him about it again. ... (read in full...)
Why did he look over me???
Q. Ok i like this guy but he said that he was too busy working to have a gf. but his friend told me that he was thinkin about askin another girl out. why did he look over me?...
A. 24 March 2010: He isn't the guy for you and was letting you down gently. ... (read in full...)
Concerned about something in my semen
Q. i just cummed up 3 white things. they look like pieces of chalk. i know its not chalk but what is it?...
A. 24 March 2010: You need to see a doctor. It could be kidney stones. ... (read in full...)
How should I let my b/f know that a friend is coming to stay?
Q. I have a question regarding a friend that is coming to visit me in a couple months that is a male and I want to know if thats ok since I have a boyfriend. I don't have many male friends. This friend in particular I have known for over 13 years, h...
A. 24 March 2010: I think rather than force it upon your boyfriend, you'd be better asking him if he's okay with it. Because to be honest, I don't think he will be at all. And even if he is at first, he might become very jealous and insecure about it. I'm sure your ... (read in full...)
An affair that has destroyed me
Q. *OP's own title* won't go into the details the affair lasted over a year. We were caught four months ago. My husband wants to fix our marraige I don't. All I CAN think about is this other man. Will I ever get over this. Feel so alone. My heart is...
A. 24 March 2010: You were used by this other man for sex and nothing else. You have to let him go. He's not coming back. He just used you to escape the problems he has in his own relationship.
Address your marriage. If you want to divorce, do it.
Then look ver... (read in full...)
Why do people think there can ever be a 'bright side' to a break up?
Q. Why do people always think "there's a silver lining in every ordeal we come across?" How do you apply this in break-ups? Why do people always say "Look at the bright side of the break-up"? What's the bright side of it?...
A. 24 March 2010: The bright side is that you're no longer with the wrong person. ... (read in full...)
Sensitive girl dating very sarcastic man.....will it work out or end in tears?
Q. im 22 goin out wit my 26 yr old boyfrend 7 months for the first 3 months we had so much fun we used to always go out dancing in clubs go to pubs and go out drinking and go to cinemas. we said i love you after only 3 months which is very quick i kno...
A. 24 March 2010: You need to end it. This won't change, and you can do better. ... (read in full...)
On one hand I am alone and lonely and I do want to have sex. On the other I don't wanna cheat on my husband!
Q. Hi, im a 34 year old married woman. For the past 3 years I am living with my son alone as my husband works in a different city. Recently, a young 20 year old guy moved to my neighborhood. We would occasionally bump into each other and he started ...
A. 23 March 2010: You know sometimes, how it's like there's a sign you should and shouldn't do something? I think you've had your sign in your son calling you at the all important moment.
Don't do it.
Not because he's younger. Not because he's there. But because ... (read in full...)
I'm woried that anal sex on my bf might turn him gay!
Q. I am a young lady thats enjoys anal sex every once and a while. I also like to perform anal sex on my guy( it turns me on in a weird and powerful way). However,it seems that he really enjoys it now. B4 he did for my benifit.I used to have to begg ...
A. 23 March 2010: It will not turn him gay at all. ... (read in full...)
He sends out mass texts to girls he's slept with. He thinks I'm being jealous. Please help!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year. We also live together. About once a week, he sends out a mass texts to about ten girls. Most of them he has slept with and flirts with them. Most of these girls I have never met. To the ...
A. 23 March 2010: If he can't see that you're unhappy about this, then he's not worth any more of your time. Of course both men and women can have friends of the opposite sex, but when it's all his ex's and he's just doing it for an ego boost, it just isn't worth it.... (read in full...)
He called me a 'dog', should I accept his friendship proposal?
Q. my ex boyfriend cheated with me...and abused me infront of his new girlfriend. He told me he loves his new girlfriend alot and can not afford to lose her. He also said he'l marry her in future. Infront of his new girlfriend he called me DOG. Now ...
A. 23 March 2010: Hell not don't accept it. You don't need a man like this in your life. You can do better. ... (read in full...)
His wife accepts an open relationship, but he seems to have issues with that. Should I pounce him anyway and see what happens?
Q. This is complicated. I have known this guy for bit but never really hung out all that often, just raced together a couple of times. We got together a while ago and I knew he was married so thought nothing of it. Turns out he truly just needed ...
A. 23 March 2010: Don't get involved. Married men will say a lot of things to get their way, and you don't want to end up hurt. ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my nother who thinks I don;t live up to my potential to lay off me?
Q. My mother fears that I'm not "living up to my full potential." I don't see why because I'm in a school for gifted children (or teenagers, whatever), I was accelerated a grade, I currently have a 4.0 and I can get into college solely on scholarships. ...
A. 23 March 2010: Ah, mothers. They really are looking out for us, but we sometimes don't see it.
She's concerned that although you're doing very well, you might fall at the final hurdle because of laziness, or that you'll become addicted to these games. As a show... (read in full...)
What can I do so people don't think I have left my husband for another man?
Q. So I have been married to a man for 4 years, and the last 2 years have been bad. He actually said a couple of months ago that completing his education ( he is in Masters program) was more important than me. About a week after that I had decided I ...
A. 23 March 2010: You can't stop the talk. Even if you didn't date for a year, then you dated, people would say you left him for another man or something. Just leave and date. All that matters is you. And if anyone asks, tell them, your husband said what he said and ... (read in full...)
I don't believe that he misses me, should I be mad at him or stop calling him?
Q. I have been seeing this guy for a week now and we have been very affectionate, we laugh and get along great. We told each other we like one another and it seems were on the same page. I haven't seen him for a couple days n when he told me he would ...
A. 23 March 2010: You've only been seeing him a week. Slow down. If you do too much too fast, you'll push him away. Slow down a bit and when you are together, make sure it's quality time together. But don't move too far too fast. You don't want to come across as ... (read in full...)
What could be causing these mild uterine cramps?
Q. Please I need advice. I know all of you are not doctors, but I need ideas as to what it could be. I have having uterine cramping. It does hurt, on a scale of one to ten, ten being the highest I would say its probably a four. Which to me seems to be ...
A. 23 March 2010: Off to the doctor with you. You might have an illness, or you might even be pregnant or something. Go to the doctor. ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to start dating again while I am still married? I've been separated for 3 years but my husband wont divorce me
Q. i've been separated for almost 3 years now. my husband says he will divorce me but hes been saying that for 2 years and still no divorce. i wont do it because i wanted to get back together he didnt. but i feel like he took advantage of that. he ...
A. 23 March 2010: No, it's not wrong to start dating since you are separated. But given that you are not quite over him, I'd suggest that you focus on that first. I think you need to try and finalize this divorce. I don't know how it is in the US, but in the UK you ... (read in full...)
Am I really everything he says I am?
Q. I ended a relationship a few weeks ago due 2 an abusive incident. My ex and I argued over the dumbest thing and he chose to choke, hit, and yell at me. I left him a week later with no warning or calls; just disappeared. I know leaving like that is ...
A. 23 March 2010: Thank God you dumped him. There are my words of wisdom.
This is a man who physically and emotionally abused you. He probably did call you so he could have a major go at you. But seriously don't listen to him. He's clearly for serious issues. You ... (read in full...)
I'm very well spoken, and am not sure if this is a good or bad thing.
Q. Hello all. When i am talking to boys, i find my voice extremely annoying. It dosn't change, but i am quite well spoken, and im not sure whether this is a good or bad thing. would it irritate people? i would love a straightforward answer, thankyou ...
A. 22 March 2010: My girlfriend is very well spoken, and I love it. Don't worry at all. ... (read in full...)
He doesn't think condoms are safe enough and I dislike pills. Should I go on the pill?
Q. Me and my boyfriend want to have sex but I am not on the pill and I don't want to, I have regular periods and they a very light, I have no problems with mood swings etc. very lukcy, I think and I don't want to go on the pill because this could ...
A. 22 March 2010: What use is the pill if it's just going to make you ill or have mood swings? Not much use. It could be worth speaking to the doctor to see if they can help.
But please don't fall for the old male excuse about condoms. They're 98% effective, and ... (read in full...)
Is he really attracted to me? Or does he still like girls what are a size 0?
Q. I just started dating this guy a couple weeks ago and he has been bringing up his x girlfriends all the time. He always says he likes me and stuff but he still ALWAYS brings them up. It didn't really bug me until I decided to be a facebook creeper ...
A. 22 March 2010: A man who is always bringing up his ex's has a problem. In fact, it's a big red flag. Think carefully about whether you want to just be second best. He doesn't seem all that into you if he's acting this way. ... (read in full...)
She wont look at me when I talk to her, why is she doing this?
Q. I talked to a girl that ive found cute after class that has the same major as me in collage that seems really timid. She doesn't talk ever even when the rest of the class has conversations and just sits and stairs at her computer working or surfing ...
A. 22 March 2010: You said it yourself. She's probably shy and nervous about all of this. She certainly sounds shy. Have patience with her and continue to get to know her. She'll open up a bit more when she feels a bit better about knowing you. ... (read in full...)
Should I go back to my married ex who I really loved? Or do I contact this new guy that I am attracted to?
Q. Hello all.! I have a love question / dillema. I met a guy I really loved when I was 19 yrs old. I really loved him, but we were young - he cheated on me, and we split. I was very hurt. Anyway we bumped into each othere a few years on, and he told me ...
A. 22 March 2010: He is a married man with a son. Leave him well alone. Married men are not suitable partners. Either he will use you and never leave the wife before dumping you again, or he will use you, leave his wife then dump you after. Leave the married man ... (read in full...)
Do all boys just want sex?
Q. soo i really want to know do boys really all just want sex? becouse when i even get close to a boy they ask for sex and so this horrible pick up lines and they say stuff like "but your just soo hot i recken you would be amazing in bed" and its like...
A. 22 March 2010: All men want sex, but not all the time. And to be fair, we also know there is more to a woman than just sex. There are obviously some guys who just want it, and certainly at your age they won't be looking for much. But as we mature, we realize there ... (read in full...)
He wont move out from his mum's house. Should I move on?
Q. i have been with my guy for almost 4 years, but anytime wee talk about moving in together he sais he has to live with his mom to help her!!!! Do i stay with him and see where it aill go or do i try to find my happiness somewhere else???...
A. 22 March 2010: If she's got no physical affliction and he won't leave home, you might as well end it now. ... (read in full...)
Is there anything I can do to be more attractive physically or am I just too old to be considered attractive?
Q. I would like to hear a sincere answer. Not a mean one, but a sincere one. I've been feeling very depressed about my age and my appearance lately. I feel like I'm very plain and unattractive and I want SO BADLY to be attractive and desir...
A. 22 March 2010: Men will pick up on your frustration and unhappiness, and will get scared. Of course you will find love and happiness, and you're not old at all. But you do need to focus on yourself and your confidence at the moment. Men like a woman who is ... (read in full...)
He wont move out from his mum's house. Should I move on?
Q. i have been with my guy for almost 4 years, but anytime wee talk about moving in together he sais he has to live with his mom to help her!!!! Do i stay with him and see where it aill go or do i try to find my happiness somewhere else???...
A. 22 March 2010: It depends on what he means by help her. If she has an affliction, then I understand that. If not, and it's just a case of him staying there, then you need to move on. It depends on what he means by help. ... (read in full...)
I regret having an abortion and feel I have no one to talk to about it!
Q. im 15 and had an abortion last year in febuary. all i think of know is what if i kept the baby. I have very strong feelings, and have no one to speak to about this. My mom stood by me when i had the abortion but i feel akward speking to her k...
A. 22 March 2010: I think you should continue to tell your mum how you feel. But I also think that you need to speak to a counsellor. There are counsellors who are trained to deal with women who have had abortions, and I really think you need to speak to one. Your ... (read in full...)
Should I go out with my mate, or try to get my ex back?
Q. Ok so as i have said before, i was seeing my ex for 8 month and we split up 5 month ago now. He was my first love and i also lost my v to him. I still love him and i would do anything to get him back. He has said several times that he doesnt want to ...
A. 22 March 2010: 1 - No matter how hard it is, move on from this ex. He is not the guy for you at all. He has made it clear that he doesn't want to go back out with you. I know it hurts, but don't waste your time on someone who doesn't want you.
2 - It would be u... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is being abusive, is it the Indian Hemp affecting him?
Q. I met my boyfriend in 2006,he is not that rich so i always help him financially. Everything has been okay until this year.He moved in with me,later i saw hemp in his possession and i claimed to have thrown it away. He beat hell out of me and that's ...
A. 22 March 2010: He's just abusive I'm afraid. Dump him. ... (read in full...)
Does he want me to call, or was it just a closing line?
Q. After a date, if a guy says ' Ok well give me a call later or something'... do you think they actually want you to call them, or could it just be a closing line?? shouldnt the guy call the girl?? :S ...
A. 22 March 2010: Try calling. See what he says or whether he answers. ... (read in full...)
What should I do to get the love of my life back?
Q. Here is my situation . . . I will try to summarize it while including all pertinent information. (sorry in advanced if it is too long, but I feel if I do not include important info, then I would get complete advice) I started dating a great w...
A. 22 March 2010: I think you need to ask her how she feels. The problems with intimacy probably made her feel bad about herself, so she may have thought that it was all her own fault. Since you tried the texts and they did't work, maybe you should try writing a ... (read in full...)
Am I in labour?
Q. 4th day of back pain in late pregnancy is it labour?tonight has been the worst, i have woken up from severe lower back pain and a pain on the left side of my vaginal wall however i have had no contractions in my stomach is it labour?...
A. 22 March 2010: Being a male, I couldn't be 100% sure. But it doesn't sound like you are. But if you're worried at all, go to the doctor. ... (read in full...)
How can I ever trust someone ever again after what she did to me?
Q. i was dating this girl for a while, but she hooked up with somone else, got pregnant,and basically started pretending i didnt exist. she ignored all my textes,and didnt answer her phone when i called. we were extremely close and my question is, feel...
A. 22 March 2010: It's hard, but it can be done. My ex cheated on me on my birthday, which was a bit of downer. Just focus on your life and really throw yourself into work, going out with friends and such. You'll get there and you'll certainly find a better woman ... (read in full...)
Parents want to get divorced. Should we talk to them or let them figure it out?
Q. This question isn't about my relationships but my parents and whether or not I should get involved. Long story short, my parents have been married for 35 years. I don't think they've ever gone 2 months without arguing about something and su...
A. 22 March 2010: You have to let them do their own thing. That's hard, I know. But it's their decision, and they have to make it. Chances are there are a lot more things in their marriage that you haven't seen or heard. They think this is for the best. All they need ... (read in full...)
I would love someone to tell me that my decision to see a married man is right.
Q. I've already made my decision, I guess like most women I would love to have someone tell me it is the right one but that is not likely. I've agreed to an affair with a married man. We were together when we were very young and I ended it because...
A. 22 March 2010: Well if you want to be used as absolutely nothing by a man who wants his own way, and if you're happy to live your life knowing that you're not loved by a man, fine. But when his wife and kids find out, and he dumps you and you're heartbroken, don't ... (read in full...)
My husband says he is not in to me, yet does not want a divorce or to work on it either.
Q. I have been married 24 years. About 12 years ago we started to grow apart. Intimacy became less and less. My husband's attitude towards me was that of disdain. There were in-law problems (they don't like me, I wasn't their choice). This became ...
A. 22 March 2010: No affairs. That will only complicate things. If he won't work on it, then you need to divorce him and move on. But don't have an affair. You'll be the one who ends up looking bad. And you never know, he might be wanting you to have an affair to ... (read in full...)
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