| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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I don't think my boyfriend's mum likes me!
Q. i dont think my boyfriends mum likes me, i have been with my boyfriend for over a year now. and the other day, he said somthing that i didnt think he meant to say, he told me his mum thinks i moan to much, and just attention seeks? i know i moan, ...
A. 31 March 2010: He loves you and that's all that matters. She's just worried about letting him go. ... (read in full...)
Is he just using me for a game or does he see a future even it is just with me as the "other woman"?
Q. I am falling for a male colleague 20 years my senior. We are both married and I know he loves his wife and she is pretty stunning. We have started texting and it is becoming quite sexual. He tells me things like he is feeling randy etc. We have als...
A. 31 March 2010: Wake up. Go home to your marriage and work on it. He's just going to use you. ... (read in full...)
I want him back! Things went wrong after we moved in together.
Q. I recently split up with my boyfriend. Been together for 2 years lived together for 6 months. We had the odd row you know, but we always got over it. My exboyfriend recently admitted that he isn't in love with me more ... he still loves me and care...
A. 31 March 2010: He's not coming back and has made it clear. You have to move on. At some point that you and he were living together, he decided that it just wasn't working out. You need to move on. He has made it clear that he's not coming back. ... (read in full...)
Yes I cheated but will he ever put this in the past?
Q. my husband and i have been struggling in our relationship for 5 years ago we have been in a relationship for 10 and married for going on 2 well 5 years ago i got really drunk and really don;t remember the night and i cheated well for 5 years we have ...
A. 31 March 2010: There is only really one other thing you can do. And that's couples counselling. Yes, you cheated. But that was five years ago, and he married you which means he shouldn't be throwing this in your face anymore. If he couldn't forgive, he shouldn't ... (read in full...)
Paranoid controlling boyfriend!
Q. Okay so ive been dating this guy since June 20th, 2008. I am 15 and he is 16. Things started out perfect but then everything slowly went down hill around 6th months. Fighting all the time. He would get jealous if i was talking to guys and he would ...
A. 31 March 2010: End it. He won't change. He'll just continue to tear you apart until you look into a mirror and don't see who you are. End it and move on. ... (read in full...)
We hit it off but now she's too busy for me. Could she still like me?
Q. Hello, So I am just so confused. I am 22 and in college right now. About a month ago I met this girl at ballroom dancing, we hit it off really well, and I got her number pretty quickly. We met for lunch, and then before I left for spring br...
A. 31 March 2010: Make her do some running. Pull back and see if she attempts to come to you. If she doesn't, then move on.... (read in full...)
Can anyone recommend any support chat rooms for women having problems in their marriages?
Q. I am currently looking for a support chat room for women who are struggling in their marriage. I am very depressed and sick over the stress I am suffering. Can someone please help me to find a support group, I am not too good at navigating around ...
A. 31 March 2010: You can get good advice on this site if you want to talk. ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he ever say the big L word??
Q. Heyyy cupid! Okay so here's my issue I just can't stop thinking about. I have fallen head over heels for this boy who is a year older than me and we are both so into eachother. I am a sophomore and he's a junior. We have been dating for more tha...
A. 31 March 2010: You've only been dating for four months. Realistically, it takes time for these feelings to develop to a point where you can be sure how you feel. That said, when you said he was on a sex ban until he felt the same way, he suddenly said it. So I'd ... (read in full...)
Mockery and insults are making me want to retaliate, .. but I don't want to be petty. How can I let go of my anger.
Q. I posted before regarding a now ex friend of mine and still current friend of my partners who had sent him love letters and was continuing to pursue my partner. I have now decided to move in with my partner, and asked him to tell her that I was movi...
A. 31 March 2010: Don't bother. She's not worth the time. Just cut all contact and leave her to it. It's clear she has issues, and if you get involved, you'll be the one who ends up getting into trouble, because that's usually the way it works. Leave her to it, and ... (read in full...)
I think I have commitment phobia!
Q. I think I might have a serious fear of commitment... getting even slightly involved with a guy freaks me out. Last year, just as things were starting to get serious with a really nice guy who I'd liked for a while, I freaked out and backed out after ...
A. 31 March 2010: The problem was the abuse that you suffered. You're now untrusting of all men because of your treatment, which is completely understandable. The moment you see something in a man that you saw in your abusive boyfriend, you get scared and run. I ... (read in full...)
Why do I go crazy when he dosen't answer?
Q. y do i go crazy when my boyfriend doesn't do what i wants him to do? i i mean when i call him he dosen't anwers the phone quick enough , so i get mad so mad that i dont want to be with him. is this normal? i like him alot intill he piss me off. and ...
A. 31 March 2010: You have to learn to deal with this, because this isn't his problem. This is your problem. Every time you have a go at him, he will be pushed further away. So then you get angrier, so he runs away even more. You will lose him unless you change. You ... (read in full...)
14 and pregnant! Help!
Q. i think that i am pregnant and i am just 14 plz tell me how to get through this someone i really need help!!!!!!...
A. 31 March 2010: First of all you need to confirm that you're pregnant. You need to get tested. ... (read in full...)
I haven't heard from him in a week and now he calls and acts like nothings wrong.
Q. *op's own title* so we met. two weeks after knowing eachother we slept together.i really fell for him and he for me, so he says. well, we texted and called eachother 24/7. he's less fortunate than i am and always remembers to bring it up. he alway...
A. 31 March 2010: You gave him the benefit of the doubt, and he's already acting shady again. Sounds to me like you're being used, so I'd suggest moving on. ... (read in full...)
Why did he stop talking to me and stop answering my emails?
Q. these guy asked me out and i said no. 5 months later i moved to a diffrent country but we still used to talk every month. after a year he stopped talking to me and he would never answer my emails. how come he stopped talking to me and not answering ...
A. 31 March 2010: He's moved on. He probably has a girlfriend and he decided that it's time for him to move on from you. The best thing you can do now is move on yourself. ... (read in full...)
Why would he say that if we were ever together I would "suffocate" him?
Q. anyway last night it all went wrong i suppose i was trying to see how he felt and he turned around and said to me. "i can see you like to look after people and you do this but if we were ever together i find you would suffocate me-i was mortified ...
A. 31 March 2010: Not your problem. It's his problem. He has commitment issues and he felt like you and he were getting to close. He got scared and ran away. It's not your problem. It's his problem. so don't feel bad. Accept that he wasn't the one, and move on and ... (read in full...)
What does he mean when he says he loves me but is not sure if he is "in love" with me?
Q. i have been seeing my boyfriend for 6 years. his wife killed herself and i told him that i loved him and was in love with him. he told me that he loves me too but he is not sure if he is in love with me. he tells me everything and trusts me with his ...
A. 31 March 2010: What is means is that there is no spark. You're more like a very close friend to him, or he thinks that. That doesn't mean that the spark can't be found. You and he both need to put effort into trying to fix the relationship and really spend time ... (read in full...)
We are planning our wedding yet his family seem to be the priority over me!
Q. My Fiance and I have been engaged for 2 months now and anytime we discuss wedding plans we end up argueing about insignificant details such as what type of menu his family would enjoy. He seems to be more concerned about having a wedding his family ...
A. 31 March 2010: It's a good thing you spotted this now. How long until his family come first in other matters? I think you need to discuss this with your fiance. Don't be controlled. ... (read in full...)
I played with fire and I got burned!
Q. I cheated I came clean and now my husband has walked out on me! I'm so sad I regret it so much I know I'm not innocent I made a big mistake but I want him back! I wish I could turn back time and never played this stupid game I'm hurting and I'm ...
A. 31 March 2010: So write him a letter and tell him all that. Maybe it will make a difference. ... (read in full...)
I don't know how much more I can take of his sarcastic ways...
Q. Been with my boyfriend for more than a year now, we got along great had so much fun together. he made me the happiest girl alive and i felt so lucky to have him as he did with me. but this past month things have changed, its like everything i do is ...
A. 31 March 2010: I don't know how much more you can take either. One thing I do know is that you can do better than a guy who goes on about his ex in your face. Why settle for second best? ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend's late phone calls with another guy!!! All input appreciated.
Q. Okay so, me and my girlfriend got back together after a 1 month split up and we are doing great. Before the split up we been together for like over 3 years. Anyway, when we got back together we wanted to start off new. But now I'm concerned with ...
A. 31 March 2010: She's either cheating, or working up to it. Best bet is to try and listen to what's being said in these conversations. Yes, it's spying, but you have really good cause. She's already lied to you about stopping, so what else is she lying about? Dig ... (read in full...)
I played with fire and I got burned!
Q. I cheated I came clean and now my husband has walked out on me! I'm so sad I regret it so much I know I'm not innocent I made a big mistake but I want him back! I wish I could turn back time and never played this stupid game I'm hurting and I'm ...
A. 31 March 2010: Then you have some serious begging to do. I've been cheated on, and no way would I give a second chance.
1 - Ask yourself why you cheated. You need to understand it before you can do anything.
2 - Write a letter to him explaining how you feel and... (read in full...)
30 and still never had my first kiss...
Q. hi, i am female 30 years old and i never even got my 1st kiss nor 2nd kiss or 3rd kiss. never had a 1st boyfriend either, I know I am very heavy, unattractive face, short, I have been rejected more times then i count. I feel such an abnormal freak. ...
A. 31 March 2010: It's your esteem that's holding you back. Men can smell low self esteem a mile away, and it makes us really scared. Focus on yourself and your confidence and life. Understand why you have low esteem, even of that means counselling. You need to know ... (read in full...)
Help! What can I do to get him to trust me more?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for over two and a half years. We currently live together overseas but are going home soon and I am going to start studying next year. I have always wanted to study drama and so will hopefully get into the course I want. ...
A. 31 March 2010: I'm not sure this is a relationship you should be in. This guy is just controlling you. You can't even sleep over at someone else's house without him hating it.
Understand this about men. You can't MAKE them do anything. They need to do it for them... (read in full...)
Problem with husband's communication
Q. Hi, I really need help with this and I don't need anyone to tell me that I need to leave him because I have had enough of that. I'm having problem with my husband's communication. He asked me what I don't like about him and I told him bu...
A. 31 March 2010: Whenever I read something that starts with 'don't tell me to leave', I know that the person is trying to live in something that won't work. This is no exception. I know that's not what you want to head. But there it is. No disrespect, and I know you ... (read in full...)
How big a deal IS sex and fidelity in a marriage?
Q. Hi, I am a 24 year old married girl. I got married 2 years ago. I dont have any kids and my husband is away for the past year. I want to know how big a deal is sex. I love my husband, but i do not think that I should only have sex with him. I occa...
A. 31 March 2010: Marriage is supposed to be between two people, and that's it. How do you think your husband would REALLY feel if he found out you were having sex with other men. And would you REALLY be happy if you found out he was having sex with other women. ... (read in full...)
Why would he stay with me if he misses his ex so much?
Q. I have been with my fiance' for 6 years, have 5 kids. We are going to get married in a few months. I thought we were the most perfect couple. Well anyways back in 09 I found out he was writing his ex through e-mail I never thought he would do that. ...
A. 31 March 2010: What did he say in the emails?... (read in full...)
Help! When would be the best time to tell him how I really feel?
Q. Ok so basically i am going out with this really great guy unfortunately he happens to be one of my ex's good friends but sometimes you cant help these things. Ive been seeing this guy pretty much on and off since september and now we are officiall...
A. 30 March 2010: Now would be about the right time, since you're officially together, have been dating since September and it has been over a year since he has been split from his fiancé. Unless he has commitment issues or isn't over her, you should be able to tell ... (read in full...)
These stretch marks are the bain of my life!
Q. hi. im really insecure about my body. ive got stretch marks all over my boobs, bum, in-between my thighs, and knees and starting to get some on my hips. the thing is im not even fat, im a size 8-10. i had this boyfriend and when ever we got closer ...
A. 30 March 2010: Stretch marks won't go away. But here's the secret. Men don't care. A man who loves you and wants to be with you really won't care and won't notice. If a man judges you on stretch marks, then he's not worthy. And don't forget that most women get the ... (read in full...)
How do I make him realise just how much I truly miss him?
Q. ok so me and my ex broke up for good in about november but we had been on and off since june of the same year. no contact between november and early december. he then contacted me and said he is moving a few states away. i was devastated. we hung ...
A. 30 March 2010: You're asking for pain. This is a bad boy. He's using steroids, and becomes enraged too easily. It's only a matter of time before he hurts you even more. To add to that, you were on/off anyway, which is a sign that it's not meant to be. You're just ... (read in full...)
I made a HUGE mistake last night!!!
Q. I made a HUGE mistake last night. In a moment of passion (during sexual foreplay) I asked my GF a hypothetical question of "If I wasn't in your life, and you had to be with one of our/your friends/acquaintances, who would it be? The problem is...
A. 30 March 2010: She did what she did not because she wants this other guy over you, but because thinking it was someone else made her lose her inhibitions. In other words, because she thought it was someone else other than you, she was able to let herself go. Don't ... (read in full...)
I am totally out of control over my feelings, and can't see how a counselor could help me!
Q. Hi Everyone, You may remember some of my posts about my text cheating husband. Well, things are no better (because basically I can't move on). Last Fri/Sat he went on a golfing do for a mate's 60th birthday and when he returned home I start...
A. 30 March 2010: The counsellor will help you to understand your feelings. You say you don't understand why he did it. A counsellor can help you understand why.
If you can't see a counsellor though, and can't face this, then you need to end it. I know he chea... (read in full...)
Spent the night with my ex trying to make my co-worker jealous. Didn't work, and the hickies didn't help either!
Q. i really like a new coworker of mine and we talk to each other at and after work but i dont think shes very interested in me.i spent a night with an ex girlfriend who gave a few hickies and my coworker thought they were gross.i was trying to make ...
A. 30 March 2010: You won't be fixing this. Now she'll think you're not interested at all (that's if she did like you). Best thing to do is move on. Don't go around trying to make people jealous. It won't work. ... (read in full...)
Why did he do that?? He's destroyed me!
Q. my bf ( should I say my ex) accused me of cheating and messing him around. and didn't contact me for 2months and i didn't call him either cos I knew he was not interested anymore so i got on with my life hoping hed contact me. he rang me on ...
A. 30 March 2010: He's an ass, and wanted to hurt you. Chances are he was the one cheating and just laid all the blame at your door. Never speak to him again. Ever. ... (read in full...)
Pregnancy test was negative but I still don't have my period!
Q. So i take a test last week and on my home pregnancy test said its negative , but then i still haven't gotten my period im really scared what is going on with me. But i don't feel any symptons ! soo anyone can help me . I still haven't gotten my ...
A. 30 March 2010: Go to the doctor. That way you can be sure about what is happeing.... (read in full...)
Another guy instead of my boyfriend gives me butterflies. Is the allure just that the other guy is a mystery to me?
Q. Here's to hoping you guys can give me some opinions. I've never been in a serious relationship before the current one with my BF. We've been together for 9 months. Before him I always chased the guy, getting all excited if my crush talked to me...
A. 30 March 2010: Crushes happen. They're natural, and so long as they go no further while you're in a relationship there's nothing wrong. Perhaps this is a sign that you need to put a little more effort into your relationship with your boyfriend.... (read in full...)
My husband of 10 years had declared he no longer loves me. Is he just in his cave emotionally?
Q. I have been married for 10 years. I love my husband. I love our family(three children).. I believe we are truly blessed. He told me a year ago that he didnt love me. I have been trying my best to keep it together. I t has been ok until recently. We ...
A. 30 March 2010: He's past the 'cave' thing. He's now out the cave and is talking. Ban him from sex, and ask him why he doesn't love you and whether he will come to counselling. If he won't do anything to fix it, then it's time to move on.... (read in full...)
Is it wrong that I am 42 and dating a 23 year old?
Q. im a young 42 and recently started a relationship with a 23yr old, looks bit older! sex great and txt each other every day! is this wrong lust or do you think anything can come ov it! i havnt had sex for nearly 2 years so.. but i do find we get o...
A. 30 March 2010: I'm dating an older woman and to be honest I'm having the time of my life, and so is she. And that's all that matters. We're both happy. But be aware that he might only be looking for something short term (fun), because one day he might want ... (read in full...)
My breast size is affecting my self esteem. Any tips on how to make them bigger?
Q. My life is just crazy I guess. I have low self esteem very low I think I am so ugly. Everyone tells me Im beautiful and that I have a pretty smile and pretty eyes, I just don't believe. So I like this guy well love actually I have known him forever ...
A. 30 March 2010: The guy will be more worried about your low self esteem. It's hard having a girlfriend who has low self esteem because no matter what you say, she hates herself. Then it makes the relationship worse and after a while it breaks down. The problem ... (read in full...)
How can I get my husband comfortable with the idea of me having sex with other men?
Q. My husband and I have been married for ten years. I think that i have a healthy and realistic view of sex. I have told him that if he ever gets bored with our sex life that he is welcome to sleep with other women. He of course told me that he ...
A. 30 March 2010: Why did you get married? This is heading straight for divorce. It's just a matter of time. You're either both committed to each other, or you might as well end it. Don't push him into having a fling with your friend just so you have the excuse to ... (read in full...)
Two Guys I REALLY Like...Help!
Q. *OP's own title* I really like these two men: Mateo and Ed (fake names of course). And I just don't know what to do, who to choose, etc. Ed is a sweet guy, 20 yrs older, good-looking, and extremely kind to me. We joke around constantly, tease ea...
A. 30 March 2010: If you can't pick, it means neither man is right for you. so move on from them both and continue to focus on yourself.... (read in full...)
I feel guilty for my affair with a married man, ...yet want him to move to my country. What should I do?
Q. i want a couple of months ago to cuba there i met a man which he is married with two kids, we had a affair, I'm going back very soon to see him. i feel like I've falling in love what should i feel very guilty because on top of that his aunt is marry ...
A. 30 March 2010: He's just using you for sex, and maybe just to get into the USA. He's married with kids. So he's a liar, a cheat, and a user of women. Do you really want to be second best for the rest of your life. What makes you think when he gets into the US he ... (read in full...)
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