| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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I can't stop thinking about my teacher and what our lives would be like together!
Q. How Do I Tell My Teacher That I Love Him?,I've Liked him For About 3 Years and loved him for about a year.we get on soo well and he's realli cute although he is 10 years older he doesn't seem it infact he acts like a 16 year old boy. No matter what ...
A. 5 April 2010: No, but I certainly know a girl who has. The teacher in question did lose his job and did go to jail for six months before coming out to nothing, because he'd also be sued, and she ended up having to see a psychiatrist because it completely messed ... (read in full...)
I can't stop thinking about my teacher and what our lives would be like together!
Q. How Do I Tell My Teacher That I Love Him?,I've Liked him For About 3 Years and loved him for about a year.we get on soo well and he's realli cute although he is 10 years older he doesn't seem it infact he acts like a 16 year old boy. No matter what ...
A. 5 April 2010: You're going to end up getting him fired for this. ... (read in full...)
I like her but she's in an on and off relationship with a guy
Q. OK so I'm 21 and go to university. There is this girl who I'm absolutely crazy about, she's 21 too. Big, big problem though, she has a boyfriend. Normally I wouldn't even think of trying to mess up their relationship but I'm not convinced she wants ...
A. 4 April 2010: Her on/off relationship means she's confused. You do not want a woman who is confused, because she may well give him up for you, then suddenly decide to go back to him. Yes, she's nice. Yes, she's amazing, genuine and all the rest of it. But she has ... (read in full...)
I got dumped by my lover in my affair and now I want him back! How do I do this????
Q. I recently was dumped from an affair that I had. He was a wonderful man (or so, I thought). I made the mistake of lying to him about a trip I took with my husband and that ultimately ended it. He wanted complete honesty from me and I broke that. ...
A. 4 April 2010: Well he's gone back to his wife. There is a big difference between what men and women look for in affairs. I'm guessing you're not really happy in your marriage and you're looking to feel needed. I'm guessing he's relatively happy but is bored with ... (read in full...)
When is it time to end things? When is enough enough?
Q. my boyfriend has really let me down. he always tells me never to give up on him.. but how do you know if you've got nothing left inside to give? i don't know whether my effort is worth it anymore.. please help me...
A. 4 April 2010: If he's let you down, always telling you never to give up but always failing you, and you feel this way, then it's about time to give up. You have to stop somewhere. If he's failing you, and promising to change but it's not happening, it's time to ... (read in full...)
Fooling around and now worried that I'm pregnant
Q. I'm sure I'm going to get lectures after asking this but I'm worrying myself sick. I'm a virgin and the 2nd week in March me and my boyfriend fooled around. Now he wore a condom and I had my thong on- I sat on top of him and he got his peni...
A. 4 April 2010: I doubt you're pregnant. He wore a condom, and didn't cum inside or even really penetrate. If you're becoming sexually active with him, it might be worth having a chat with your doctor and going in the pill as an added precaution along with condoms. ... (read in full...)
What does this married man feel for me?
Q. Hello everyone, so I am 21yrs old and I have been seeing a married man for almost two years now (He is 25) When I first met him he wasn't married yet but they had a son and lived 2gether. They got married about 10mo ago. For the first year of ...
A. 4 April 2010: He's having some sort of affair, whatever this is. And you need to end all contact right now. Perhaps he's just after sex and won't give up because you won't stop speaking to him. He is married with a child and it is now time to let go. So do that. ... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend's brother wants a baby with me!
Q. ive got a question am seeing my ex boyfriends brother ive got 2 kids with my ex and now the ex boyfriends brother wants a child with me is this the wrong thing to do please help thank you....
A. 4 April 2010: This is going to turn into a rather serious mess. Your children will be cousins as well as sibling, which may confuse them, and worse still this has the potential to blow the whole family apart. I'm not even sure you should be seeing your ex's ... (read in full...)
Am I unreasonable for wanting his company more in a stressful time?
Q. Hey all My question is really how unreasonable or as the case may be reasonable. The situation is that ive been with my boyfriend for awhile now (nearly a yr) and at the beginning saw him loads and obviously that wears off which i initated ...
A. 4 April 2010: So tell him that. He won't know you feel this way until you tell him that you do. And make it clear you need him there for you. Men aren't great at sussing out when women feel bad or when they need support, because women assume that men will just ... (read in full...)
Do you guys appreciate manicured nails on a girl?
Q. Inspired by a chat on another topic, ... I am wondering guys, do you appreciate seeing a well manicured hand/nails when a girl has hold of your goodies, .. or does it go completely un noticed? I kinda thought it adds to an overall effect a...
A. 4 April 2010: Some men notice, some don't depending on who the man is. Most men notice other things before the nails, but it doesn't mean you should do them. What's more important is that you feel good about yourself. So if you're happy and confident, men will ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend gave weird answer to my money questions and now I'm confused!
Q. i m in a commited relationship...its a ldr..well jst for fun i asked my bf.. How do you think a woman and a man in a relationship should handle money together? n the reply which he gave i found completely irrelevant...he said that Money org...
A. 4 April 2010: The priority is a house, a car, a good lifestyle. And he can't have that if he's spending his money on you. You get the lifestyle by working. You are the emotional priority in his life. you are not the one he has to spend every penny on. If he has ... (read in full...)
She does not mind my advances, appreciates my compliments, but only want to be friends. What should I make of this?
Q. If a girl knows you love her, and doesn't mind your advances, and hearing whatever you have to say (which usually a person in love would say to his beloved--usually quite frank), but at the same time tells you that she doesn't see you as a lover, ...
A. 4 April 2010: She likes your compliments, but that's as far as it will ever go. ... (read in full...)
He is cancelling dates and disrespecting my time. How can I make it clear that this is not ok!
Q. Hello all, I have a question about a guy Ive recently started dating (about a month or so). He seemed to be really interested the first few dates and still does seem to have interest in getting together but had cancelled the last 2 dates. He has ...
A. 4 April 2010: Tell him that it's not acceptable. That's all you have to do. Tell him straight that you resent that he's cancelling. If he goes on to make an effort, then all well and good. If not, end it and find a guy who will put effort in.... (read in full...)
What do I do about my parents blocking my love?
Q. *OP's own title* My parents won't let me go out with a boy i am in love with (even though I'm 13).They gave me no explaination 4 it. He's a gentleman, takes care of his family, respects all women, and isn't much older than me. What to do?...
A. 4 April 2010: How much older?... (read in full...)
Should I tell my friend I have fallen for him even tho he is unavailable?
Q. Ok so here is the situation: I am good friends with a guy from work, I would class him as one of my best friends (and the other way around) we spend quite a lot of time together, talk on the phone, text etc. He has stayed over at my house a few t...
A. 4 April 2010: No, say nothing. He has a girlfriend, so if something happened you'd never be able to trust him anyway, and if something didn't, you'd have a reputation as a woman who tries to steal boyfriends. He's not available unless he's single, so say nothing. ... (read in full...)
Son bringing home leggy pretty girls and I'm stuck with my lumpy wife!
Q. My son has recently started bringing girlfriends home: they're leggy, pretty, polite, pleasant girls. Then I think of my wife - I've got a lumpy, angry, middle-aged wife whose libido went AWOL 15 years ago, who gets out of bed at noon, spends 12 ...
A. 4 April 2010: Yes, please don't cheat. That will make things worse. ... (read in full...)
I want a relationship, but he doesn't.
Q. *OP's own title* I met this guy 4 1/2 years ago and when i first met him he had told me that he had just got out of a relationship which she left with their 2 girls and that had devastated him. Anyway i felt sorry for him for a long time,then as...
A. 4 April 2010: I'm afraid you need to move on form this man. He is not going to commit to you, and you're just going to waste your life waiting around for him to suddenly change. He's telling you everything you want to hear about being different to other women, ... (read in full...)
SHould I stay with my fiance when I have feelings for my ex?
Q. Okay, here is my problem. I have known this one guy, i'll call him "jim," my entire life, for most of that time he had said he loves me and wants to marry me. for years I had a crush on him but I didnt act on it because i knew how he acted with ...
A. 4 April 2010: If you don't love Ray enough, you have to let him go so he can find someone who will love him. Then you can see if Jim wants you back. If he doesn't, then you'll need to spend time alone and really get over both these men before you can have a ... (read in full...)
Should I go for lunch with my teacher?
Q. Just to give you an insight: A principal I had in middle school agreed to go out to lunch with me when I asked him awhile back. We exchanged numbers and we’ve texted off and on these past couple of months. (Not like crazy, just to set up a day when ...
A. 4 April 2010: It's interesting that the two female responses say it seems to be okay, while the one male response says don't do it. And as another male, I agree with weparly's response. Something is really wrong that a married man in his 40's with kids wants to ... (read in full...)
Does my girlfriend want just a break?
Q. She wants to go on a break. I don't know what to do. I still love her but I have a feeling shes using me and at the end of the break she won't want me anymore. The break is for one month so do I knuckle down, keep busy and see what happens in a ...
A. 4 April 2010: Something is wrong if she's agreed a time to break up, rather than just do it immediately. I'm not sure why she doesn't just start it now. There seems to be more to this, so let her have the break and see what happens. ... (read in full...)
How do I let him see how I really like him back?
Q. Hello! Well,I am 19 and have known this guy since we have been in 9th grade but but became really good friends in 12th grade. We go to different colleges but live at home still which means we are not far away from each other. Eve...
A. 4 April 2010: Men don't do subtle. He's worried because he's not sure how you feel, so subtle won't work at this point. I think you should be brave and tell him how you feel. See what he says about it. ... (read in full...)
I'm interested in fooling around but don't know if I want anything serious!
Q. Hi there. So, today I met a guy and he seemed very interested in me. I was sort of interested, but not as interested as he seemed. We ended up exchanging phone numbers, and he told me to message or call him just to say hi. Usually I don't have...
A. 4 April 2010: It depends how a man feels about the girl. I think he's looking for more than just something casual, and he's pretty much said that. So I think the kindest thing to do would be to let him find someone who can offer him that. You don't want to end up ... (read in full...)
Son bringing home leggy pretty girls and I'm stuck with my lumpy wife!
Q. My son has recently started bringing girlfriends home: they're leggy, pretty, polite, pleasant girls. Then I think of my wife - I've got a lumpy, angry, middle-aged wife whose libido went AWOL 15 years ago, who gets out of bed at noon, spends 12 ...
A. 4 April 2010: I think you need to try and understand more why your wife is like she is. A lot of people go through all this depression and such,, and it could be that it can be changed with a lot of effort. ... (read in full...)
I'm happy with my boyfriend but can't stop thinkingof my ex!
Q. I strated dating a guy when I was 17, but then moved to college and we drifted. I met someone else and broke up with him when I was 19. I don't think I was very nice about it and I really think I broke his heart ( He is a few years older than I am). ...
A. 4 April 2010: No, it's just that you're feeling a bit guilty. You know you don't love him, so I think the best thing you can do for yourself is to say that you're sorry for what happened years ago, then say that you both should make a break and move on. To stay ... (read in full...)
Can I use water to flush myself out after having unprotected sex?
Q. can i use water to flush myself out after having unprotected sex?...
A. 4 April 2010: It's actually quite unsafe. So do't do it.... (read in full...)
Sister staying in bad marriage for the kids--should she do this?
Q. It pains me to no end that my sister married a pathological liar. He lied about everything before they got married. He lied about his childhood, he lied about being in the army, he lied about what his family's line of work, he lied about being an ...
A. 4 April 2010: The child only ever has to sense that the mother stayed there for it, and it will say 'mum would have left it was not for me being here, so it's my fault she is here'. That's exactly how they feel. It's pretty hard not to get full custody here too, ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with someone else
Q. Hi, im in a relation ship with an incredibly gorgeous girl, the only thing is, im in love with someone else. The girl i love doesn't know about this yet, and neither does my girlfriend, also, my girlfriend lives like two/three bus rides away, whic...
A. 3 April 2010: At least let your girlfriend go, so she can find someone else. Don't tell her the truth. Just say it's not working out and you should both move on. Then decide whether you really love this other girl, or whether it's just a major crush that you will ... (read in full...)
Does a shared interest in unpopular music suggest we're soul mates?
Q. Let's say that two people have exactly the same taste in music especially if this music is not very popular. Do you think that it's quite possible that they would have good a friendship/relationship or that they're some kind of emotional twins/soul ...
A. 3 April 2010: No. It's one shared interest, and though it can help, there are a million different things that also count in a relationship, nearly all far more than this does.... (read in full...)
He wants to be with both me and her
Q. Okay let me make this simple as possible. My Husband and I have a very strange life. We have been married for 7 years and we love each other.Well we where married very young 23 and 21(me). Neither one of us had a chance to live life. We both have ...
A. 3 April 2010: I think it's too late for this marriage. It's a mess. You've both cheated, and now he's got another woman pregnant. You need to get away from this cycle of cheating and pain, for your own sake. You will now never again be his number one (not that ... (read in full...)
Not pregnant but haven't had a period since August
Q. Hey everyone, My question is a health one. Im 18 years of age and i started getting my periods when i was 11. I havent had a period since august and this is really strange because i used to be really regular like i was always saying how lucky i ...
A. 3 April 2010: If you're not pregnant, then you need to see a doctor and get checked. ... (read in full...)
I supported him during his separation and he repays me with lies
Q. i need advice please. i dont know what to do regarding my work colleague. he started the job we're in 8 months ago. his wife left him last year and hes used me as a huge emotional crutch which ive been happy about. i really like him, hes funny an...
A. 3 April 2010: Move on from this one and find a guy who is actually going to treat you with respect. You deserve a better kind of friend.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend lied to me about another woman so I broke up with him. Did I do the right thing?
Q. my boyfriend of a year has been talking to this girl at work he says nothing is going on but i do not know! today someone texted him early in the morning he said that it was her but it was a forward text so i believed him. then she texted again an...
A. 3 April 2010: You have done the right thing. You do not need to have a guy like this in your life. He's not worth another moment of your time or thought.... (read in full...)
Why does my friend behave this way?
Q. my friend whenever am going to her house and am running late she'd call me alot and if dont answer she will texts me. are you coming, why you ignoring me what have i done etc: is soo annoying. and am sick of her aways calling pretty gir...
A. 3 April 2010: She has severe low self esteem and major insecurity issues. Gently talk to her about it and see if she will open up at all about what has caused her to feel the way she does.... (read in full...)
I can't stop thinking about my teacher and what our lives would be like together!
Q. How Do I Tell My Teacher That I Love Him?,I've Liked him For About 3 Years and loved him for about a year.we get on soo well and he's realli cute although he is 10 years older he doesn't seem it infact he acts like a 16 year old boy. No matter what ...
A. 3 April 2010: There are no if's of but's. It won't happen. Ever.
1 - It's illegal since he is your teacher.
2 - You're a student, and he won't be interested.
3 - If you do say something, he could end up fired or you could end up in serious trouble at s... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend stay in contact with this girl when he knows I don't like it!
Q. my boyfriend and this girl works together recently i found out that he was texting her alot asking her if he can come over and stuff i told him to stop he said that it will never happen again now i found out that he is giving her rides to work after ...
A. 3 April 2010: Say it's her or you. He's already decided that he won't stop seeing her, so give him the ultimatum.... (read in full...)
I don't want him to take my top off!
Q. my boyfriend and i have been going out for about five months. he regurally takes his top off when making out, when we were making out in a forest he told me he would have taken my top off but i would be cold. he didnt but thing is, i don't want him ...
A. 3 April 2010: Simple. If he ever tries it, just tell him you're not ready. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. ... (read in full...)
How do you stop being controlling?
Q. How can you stop being controlling? I know that sounds strange but I,ve been told I,m quite a controlling and I know I am. I,m a type person who has to be on control on everything , Organising party I insist I have to do everything , I,m getting ...
A. 3 April 2010: You need to find out WHY you're so controlling before you can change it, and that means taking a very close look at your life, possibly with a counsellor if you need to. People who are controlling learn it two ways. They are either brought up on it ... (read in full...)
No longer find husband attractive, and ended affair, I'm really hurting
Q. (MOD NOTE: 2 posts combined) I no longer find my husband physically attractive anymore. I married him aged 24 I am now 40 years old. The last time we had sex I hated every second of it. I have two children, and honestly feel I am now only with ...
A. 3 April 2010: You didn't say anything about those affairs your husband had, but it was pretty clear that there was more to this. T be honest, now I don't think that this can be fixed. I think it's gone too far. Walk. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend blows me off and gets nasty and I am not sure what I should do
Q. So my boyfriend of a year has gotten very controlling and jealous. I had to delete my facebook and every guy in my phone because of him. He blows me off every weekend for friends and barley talks to me on weekdays. Then when I go hang out with...
A. 3 April 2010: Leave. He'll destroy you even more if you don't. You can do better than a guy like this.... (read in full...)
How can I deal with the long distance?
Q. my boyfriend is going in the raf soon, and he is gonna be going away for months. its breaking my heart cos i know that im not gonna be able to see him. i see him near enough every day. we've been together over a year now. im just so upset i don...
A. 3 April 2010: The military has support groups for the spouses of those who are away a lot of the time, so it might be worth you doing some research into them, and maybe you could meet other girls your own age who also have boyfriends away, so you all understand ... (read in full...)
What can I do? Boyfriend getting bored with me!
Q. so me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 4 months. and he told me today that he always gets bored with girls and thats why his longest relationship has only lasted 4 months. but he said he loves me so hes going to keep trying. i really ...
A. 3 April 2010: End it. Take the initiative and end it. He's a young men, and as of yet doesn't really have the capacity to hold a long term relationship together. You don't need to be with a guy who finds you boring and won't try to fix it. That shows that the ... (read in full...)
Went out with my ex and its the same old rollercoaster ride
Q. Hello everyone, Yesterday I had a date with my ex-girlfriend, we date like a year ago, then she broke up and we did not speak for several months. Now she innitiated contact and I aggreed to go out with her. Everything went really wel, she ...
A. 3 April 2010: You have to tell her it's time to move on, then cut all contact. ... (read in full...)
How do I get from lover to just a friend smoothly?
Q. How does one transition from being lovers to only friends? It started out as this guy and I meeting each other at work. We began talking everyday, calling each other, and eventually we developed feelings for one another. Although neither of us wa...
A. 3 April 2010: Listen to the post written by Lindy87. He specifically is not over you, and won't be able to cope with just being friends. It's will hurt him a lot. It's time to move on.... (read in full...)
Went out with my ex and its the same old rollercoaster ride
Q. Hello everyone, Yesterday I had a date with my ex-girlfriend, we date like a year ago, then she broke up and we did not speak for several months. Now she innitiated contact and I aggreed to go out with her. Everything went really wel, she ...
A. 3 April 2010: No, it's time to move on from this girl. SHE is the one who has not changed and has problems. SHE was the one who came back. SHE has pulled this sort of thing before.
It's not you, it's her.
Just get rid of her and cut all contact. Don't waste yo... (read in full...)
No longer find husband attractive, and ended affair, I'm really hurting
Q. (MOD NOTE: 2 posts combined) I no longer find my husband physically attractive anymore. I married him aged 24 I am now 40 years old. The last time we had sex I hated every second of it. I have two children, and honestly feel I am now only with ...
A. 2 April 2010: You need to stop grieving for this other married man. Married men seldom leave their wives, and basically he has had his fill and now wants to get back to his family life.
I'm guessing there's actually a lot more to this change in your marr... (read in full...)
Boyfriend gave weird answer to my money questions and now I'm confused!
Q. i m in a commited relationship...its a ldr..well jst for fun i asked my bf.. How do you think a woman and a man in a relationship should handle money together? n the reply which he gave i found completely irrelevant...he said that Money org...
A. 2 April 2010: 'Heed the demands of wives'. Wonderful. Young lady you have a HUGE amount to learn about men, and you're nowhere near ready for marriage. He is being totally sensible about money. ... (read in full...)
Sister staying in bad marriage for the kids--should she do this?
Q. It pains me to no end that my sister married a pathological liar. He lied about everything before they got married. He lied about his childhood, he lied about being in the army, he lied about what his family's line of work, he lied about being an ...
A. 2 April 2010: Completely horrible, and totally wrong. He won't change, she'll get unhappier and the child will grow up in a repressed, unloved atmosphere and will probably blame itself and end up depressed (I've seen it). If she's worried about the safety of the ... (read in full...)
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