| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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Should I go with my best friend to the prom since his girlfriend can't go?
Q. My 2 bestfriends are dating each, one is a senior and the other is a freshman, prom is comming up and she can't go with him because her mom won't allow it. So he's been getting upset since he couldn't find someone to take to prom, so I mentioned to ...
A. 6 April 2010: Hmm. I'm not sure you should, for the sake of your friend. She might just get a little insecure about it. He doesn't need to go with someone. ... (read in full...)
I need good advice, how do I get over loving my teacher?
Q. Okaii,so most of you already know from my last question that I am in love with my teacher,but believe me I wish I wasn't,not because of him but because we can't be together 'obviously',even though I really wish we could,so my last question was "how ...
A. 6 April 2010: Take a look at your life and really work out what you want to do with it. Whenever I fancied someone and couldn't get her, I would always look at my life again and throw myself into it, again and again. Find a new hobby, or look at a possible ... (read in full...)
I'm checking ex's emails because I want to know what he's up to!
Q. Right i have been split up fro exalcoholic for 3 weeksnow ive wrote on here before regarding it and im so happy without him and my life is so much easier now but i cant help checking his emails and its getting stupid now i really dont know how to ...
A. 6 April 2010: Just stop. You're starting to become dangerously obsessed. And if by some chance he finds you, he might well be able to have you arrested for cyber crime. Every time you want to check on him, remember that this guy hurt you and your life is better ... (read in full...)
My gf is acting differently and I don't understand why?????
Q. Ok so the last few days ( about a week ) my gf of 2 months has been acting differently than before. I dont know what I did or what is wrong. Today during passing period we started talking and she asked if I wanted to still go out but not hug or kiss ...
A. 6 April 2010: You need to talk to her and tell her that you feel as if you're growing apart and something is wrong. Try to get her to talk to you. Something has happened to make her feel this way. Maybe she's not ready, or maybe there is something else... (read in full...)
Two guys, one pregnancy, unsure of father or what to do!
Q. (MOD NOTE: Aunts/Uncles please be respectful to this poster, no negative nasty posts please!) I have a huge dilemma. i'll try to make this as short and to the point as possible. I just very recently ended a three year relationship with a man that ...
A. 6 April 2010: The long hard truth is the single option here really, since you won't have an abortion and you cheated with a man who is middle eastern. You have to tell them both that you are pregnant, and that they might be the father. Then get a DNA test. Also, ... (read in full...)
Does fantasizing lead to cheating?
Q. is it okay for my fiance to fantasize about other women? could it lead to cheating? is fantasizing ok? we have a great sex life. he tells me he is very happy. im just worried that if im okay with letting him get lap dances and watch his po...
A. 6 April 2010: Fantasizing is very much one thing. Cheating is another. There is a big difference. It doesn't necessarily mean that he will cheat at all. Far from it, especially if he's only looking at porn. I don't think he will cheat.... (read in full...)
We had sex and now he's acting strange toward me. Is it him? Or me?
Q. I'm not exactly sure what to do here... i've been so into this guy and our little "fling" has been going on for 3 months now. Just the other week we ended up hooking up and we finally had sex. Everything was fine the day after and we talked like ...
A. 6 April 2010: It seems to me like you may well have been used for sex, and now he's lost interest. Either that, or he regrets what happened. I think you need to talk to him.... (read in full...)
First time sex and he couldn't cum, is this common?
Q. i have only been going out with my boyfriend for a couple of weeks and yesterday we had sex for the first time together. it was ordinary sex apart from the fact that he didnt (or maybe couldn't?) come. afterwards he apologised for this and ...
A. 6 April 2010: He was probably just nervous. Don't worry about it and don't take it personally either.... (read in full...)
Divorced husband but feel really upset and sad
Q. I filed for divorce today and it was absolutely the hardest thing I've ever done. My hands were shaking when I signed the paperwork and had it notarized. My heart was pounding when I took it to the courthouse and paid the filing fee. My husband ...
A. 6 April 2010: You should speak to my girlfriend. She finalized her divorce a while back, and she felt the same way you do, even though he had actually cheated on her and treated her badly. She still felt bad. The point is it is natural to feel this way. You have ... (read in full...)
Should I call ex and wish her a happy birthday?
Q. Well this is my second attempt at this question. It was rejected because there wasn't enough detail. I didn't want it to have detail. It was a simple question should I or should I not call my ex and wish her a happy birthday. Now because of this I ...
A. 6 April 2010: No, leave your ex in the past.... (read in full...)
I can't stop thinking about my teacher and what our lives would be like together!
Q. How Do I Tell My Teacher That I Love Him?,I've Liked him For About 3 Years and loved him for about a year.we get on soo well and he's realli cute although he is 10 years older he doesn't seem it infact he acts like a 16 year old boy. No matter what ...
A. 5 April 2010: No, but I certainly know a girl who has. The teacher in question did lose his job and did go to jail for six months before coming out to nothing, because he'd also be sued, and she ended up having to see a psychiatrist because it completely messed ... (read in full...)
Should I go back after what's happened?
Q. I met my boyfriend online on a dating website. He was amazing! We would spend much time texting getting to know one another before meeting. It was about 2 months and we ended up getting an apartment together. I noticed a change that he would always ...
A. 5 April 2010: Follow your brain. ... (read in full...)
How often should we see each other?
Q. Me and my bf have been dating for 3 months, we re both 16, how often is the right amount to be seeing eachother?...
A. 5 April 2010: As much as you want to, realistically. When I was 16, my girlfriend and I would see each other at least three times a week to spend actual time together (not just a few moments at school), and would talk every day. That way we would also get work ... (read in full...)
Use Him And Lose HIm
Q. Ive been friends w/ this guy for a while, he asked me out and i said yes. He really gets on my nerves sometimes and i kinda want to break up with him, but I also really want to have sex with him haha. My friends say "use him and lose him" It sounds ...
A. 5 April 2010: Don't just use him, because you'll get yourself a reputation. Your friends seem to think that you can use someone and that it will all go away. What happens if you break his heart? Which you will, since he wants you for more than sex. He wants you ... (read in full...)
She loves to argue and there is major drama in her life!
Q. I've been dating this girl for about 4 months. The first 6 weeks were great, things moved very fast. She then told me she has a child... it caught me off guard.. but I accepted that because of the feelings I had for her. I knew things were n...
A. 5 April 2010: You moved way too fast with out knowing all the facts. She's getting a free ride here, to the point where she can order you around in your own home. Get rid of her and tell her that you can't see her until she has sorted out her own life. To try to ... (read in full...)
He's too scared to tell her no!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over a year, he has a child who is one year old. I have accepted this and accepted the fact that he will be seeing his son. However I cannot accept the fact that whenever his ex rings up at the last minute demanding ...
A. 5 April 2010: I'm afraid this is the price of taking on a man who has a child. Ever time his ex says can he look after his child, he will. Because it's his job and responsibility. You have to remember that he may see him regularly, but he won't see him as much as ... (read in full...)
Should we prepare for a baby?
Q. Ever since my boyfriend realised my period is late (nearly 2 weeks late) now he thinks im pregnant because my period hasn't arrived, but he is already planning things like how we are going to get our own place because he says i cant live at home if ...
A. 5 April 2010: Get tested to see if you're pregnant first. You can't do anything else unless you know whether you are pregnant or not.... (read in full...)
How can I show him how much it hurt me?
Q. Ive been with my boyfriend for many years. The thing is we've had an argument because of something he did which he promised me he wouldn't do. Theres a reason I don't want him to do it. He promised me over and over. I now don't know what to ...
A. 5 April 2010: If he broke his promise, then there is no point in continuing with this. It does't matter how much you show him you're hurt. If he was willing to break the promise in the first place, then he will do it again no matter what. You don't want to end ... (read in full...)
Is she setting herself up for disappointment?
Q. I have a female friend who is friends with a guy who has a girlfriend. He and his GF have been together for a long time. My friend went through a thing where she was really low on self-esteem and flirted with this guy a lot and tried to get him...
A. 5 April 2010: You bet she's setting herself up. He still has the girlfriend, which means he'll just use your friend. That said, she needs to make her own mistakes. You're a male, so you know how he will be thinking. He'll use her. But if she won't listen, then ... (read in full...)
Do they still consider me a friend?
Q. i'm 19 years old and i'm at uni 30 miles away from my home town. before i left home i fell out with lots of friends, just because we all changed and we're all in different places, heading in different directions. but most of my friends have ...
A. 5 April 2010: I'm at the opposite end that you are. My friends are away at uni. I decided not to go. So I get to stay alone a lot. But I use this time to do what I want. Maybe that's what you should do. It sounds like all your old friends have moved on, and your ... (read in full...)
Has my boyfriend's mate moved in for good?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 6 years. We moved in together 2 years ago. After 6 months of me and my 3 children aged 10, 9 and 7 moving in, he has changed. He was off work at this point, I was paying and still do, the vast majority of bills, ...
A. 5 April 2010: Walk right back out of the door. He's basically using you for the money while he sits there with his friend and gets stoned. Just leave him and get away from hi. He's using you. ... (read in full...)
I can't stop thinking about my teacher and what our lives would be like together!
Q. How Do I Tell My Teacher That I Love Him?,I've Liked him For About 3 Years and loved him for about a year.we get on soo well and he's realli cute although he is 10 years older he doesn't seem it infact he acts like a 16 year old boy. No matter what ...
A. 5 April 2010: You're going to end up getting him fired for this. ... (read in full...)
Whatever he texts to me he also texts to my friend, is he trying to make me jealous?
Q. please help i talked to this guy for a while now he always texts me everyday and we talk i thought maybe he likes me because of all the signals and i thought that he might..his cousin even told my own sister asking if we were together because ...
A. 5 April 2010: No. It's most likely he's playing you both to see who will give in to him. If he fancied you, he would come to you and wouldn't flirt so much with this other girl. Let him go. ... (read in full...)
I cant believe my fiance saying he may have gotten another woman pregnant. Do you think he is just testing me?
Q. My fiancé told me that some girl told him that he might have gotten her pregnant. It does not seem like him at all--- cheating and not using protection. According to his tone of voice on the phone, I think he was kidding, but I was crying when I ...
A. 5 April 2010: He's not kidding, and this is not a test. He's cheated, and has been busted. You'd be better moving on.... (read in full...)
Not realizing what you have got until it is gone.
Q. Hello all, The feedback I received last time from you all was fantastic, so here goes current question: Everyone needs a little personal space. I am an only child, treasure my alone time, and am head over heels in love with my now ex-boyfriend...
A. 5 April 2010: No, he didn't do it to hurt you. He did it for sex. Men don't need to have emotions to have sex. We can just do it. If you want him back, tell him you want him back and work through your problems.... (read in full...)
Is checking a partners internet activities a violation of privacy?
Q. How big of a deal is it to violate your lover's privacy by checking his browser history? I have been dating my boyfriend for about 6 months. We met on a dating site. Things were going great for a bit, but behavior patterns changed. He sud...
A. 5 April 2010: I think there needs to be a certain amount of trust, before you can truly have privacy for such things as emails. In most relationships there is a level of privacy. Naturally, people are curious, and will browse through history, emails anything if ... (read in full...)
My mother puts my husband under a microscope - but only looks for the negative!
Q. My mother feels that my husband is often selfish, disrespectful and inconsiderate to me. My husband loves me very much and I think overall we are happy and I agree that he could be all of the above at times, but we have a good time toghther most of ...
A. 5 April 2010: God, that must be hard, having her saying all that for 14 years. And yet here you are, 14 years on, still married to him and still committed. So good for you. I'm not sure what your mother is upto. She could be jealous that you have a good marriage, ... (read in full...)
My g/f wants me to skip my brother's wedding for our anniversary
Q. Dear readers, I have quite the tricky situation on my hands and I would like to know what you guys would do if you were in my situation. Here it goes. Me and my girlfriend began dating on October 8th, 2008. We've been relatively okay, except we ...
A. 5 April 2010: She is far too controlling to take back. Someone who tries too actually block you from being best man at your brother's wedding and actually storms off isn't worth the time of day. I really think you'd be better moving on from her, even if it hurts. ... (read in full...)
Should I just ask him bluntly if he wants to go further?
Q. So me and my best friend and I have been messing around, like I've been giving him handjobs and he's been touching me. The first time I saw him after the first time it happened he acted awkward and we didn't do it again, so I texted him and told him ...
A. 5 April 2010: I think you need to ask him. You don't want to wind up being used.... (read in full...)
I like him but don't want to do all the chasing!
Q. There is a guy I like who I could feel chemistry from whenever I got to get my hair done. I linked with him on Facebook and sent a message but he has not messaged me back. It is making me feel bad as Imade the move and do not want to feel like I am ...
A. 5 April 2010: Okay. That's a good plan too. You'll know one way or another if he's interested. ... (read in full...)
My ex has a girl but still wants me!!
Q. im gona make this short! me and my loved one broke up a month ago.he dumped me 4 another..but weve become good friends.he still flirts with me. bring up old memories. and i fed n of course cuz i still love him and he say he misses us. but he just ...
A. 5 April 2010: Say no. He's trying to use you both so he can have his fun. Tell him no, and find a better guy who is worth your time. Don't be used.... (read in full...)
Getting Over the Obstacles? Is it Possible?
Q. It's been a long time since I've felt like a giddy school girl with a crazy, unexplainable crush. But yet, here I am.. Unfortunately, this guy and I have a long roller coaster history, I've had feelings for him since day one, but there has always b...
A. 5 April 2010: This will not work. End of. Whenever I hear about 'on/off' and 'roller-coaster' relationships, I am always sure it won't work. This will lead nowhere, and the best thing that happened was him moving abroad because now you have a chance to end the ... (read in full...)
I like him but don't want to do all the chasing!
Q. There is a guy I like who I could feel chemistry from whenever I got to get my hair done. I linked with him on Facebook and sent a message but he has not messaged me back. It is making me feel bad as Imade the move and do not want to feel like I am ...
A. 5 April 2010: Try messaging him once more, and see if he responds. If he doesn't, then it sounds like he's not interested. ... (read in full...)
How old is too old to be a virgin?
Q. Hello, Just a quick question: how old is too old to be a virgin? I am 24 but still have not met the right man to become intimate with. I am not in a rush but I would like to know how old is too old? 25? 40? ...
A. 5 April 2010: There is no too old. Better to lose it to the right person than the wrong one. Keep looking for the right guy. ... (read in full...)
My g/f wants me to skip my brother's wedding for our anniversary
Q. Dear readers, I have quite the tricky situation on my hands and I would like to know what you guys would do if you were in my situation. Here it goes. Me and my girlfriend began dating on October 8th, 2008. We've been relatively okay, except we ...
A. 5 April 2010: Frankly, stuff your girlfriend. She's way too controlling to be making this decision. Your brother will need you there as his best man at his wedding. That will matter a huge amount to him. You let your girlfriend blackmail you into this, and you'll ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend's proposal was rushed and unplanned, and it doesn't feel right. How do I get over the disappointment?
Q. I know it's going to make me sound like a bitch but I am struggling with something and in need of advice. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 6 years. A couple of weeks ago he proposed to me. And I said yes. But it didn't feel right. He we...
A. 5 April 2010: So you would rather turn down the proposal until he asks again in a better way? Assuming he would. I think women underestimate the sheer terror a man can feel when it comes to personal things like this, He just decided that one day he wanted to ... (read in full...)
Email saying he's in love with another woman. I want answers!
Q. hi i met this man on a dating agency, he works on the oil rigs, we chatted and texted for 3 weeks and got on really well, we arranged to meet up for a meal when he returned from his months leave, we went out on the thursday,and then after i went to ...
A. 4 April 2010: And now you know the truth. Surprise, this man was either already in a relationship with this other woman, or was setting up as many meetings as possible for the sex. I am sorry, but you've been taken for a ride. I wouldn't even be sure of his ... (read in full...)
Should I take a chance on an old flame?
Q. I have been married for 20 years and I am now at a crossroads in my life. I enjoy my Husband's company and I think I still love him. But I don't think I want to be married to him anymore. Any reasons I have for this seam to be minor and could ...
A. 4 April 2010: You'll end up in the same situation. For the reason that with your husband, you see the good and the bad. With this other man, you only see the good. Your husband is still the man for you. You still love him, and this can be fixed. But your refusal ... (read in full...)
I'm meeting his parents and wondering how big of a deal it is.
Q. I have been seeing this guy for a bit from Feb now. We've been for countless coffees, movies, lunches. He likes me. I fancy him like mad. He's extremly shy and hasnt made a move on me physically but we act like a couple otherwise and everyone thinks ...
A. 4 April 2010: Meeting parents is usually a big deal, so yes you are getting somewhere. I think you are probably his girlfriend, but it's worth just talking to him to find out how he feels about it. But you seem to be getting along very well. ... (read in full...)
I feel I'm not supposed to have a partner
Q. I feel like I'm incompatible with every single girl on the planet. Even though I'm friendly, intelligent, well-built and social (I get along with nearly everyone and always make people laugh) I still feel that I'm just not supposed to have a ...
A. 4 April 2010: You're only 18. You'd be surprised how many people still haven't had partners by that age. There is no rush to the finish line. Take your time, get to know girls and find the right one. Don't just find one of many who won't make you happy. There is ... (read in full...)
I like her but she's in an on and off relationship with a guy
Q. OK so I'm 21 and go to university. There is this girl who I'm absolutely crazy about, she's 21 too. Big, big problem though, she has a boyfriend. Normally I wouldn't even think of trying to mess up their relationship but I'm not convinced she wants ...
A. 4 April 2010: Her on/off relationship means she's confused. You do not want a woman who is confused, because she may well give him up for you, then suddenly decide to go back to him. Yes, she's nice. Yes, she's amazing, genuine and all the rest of it. But she has ... (read in full...)
I can't stop thinking about my teacher and what our lives would be like together!
Q. How Do I Tell My Teacher That I Love Him?,I've Liked him For About 3 Years and loved him for about a year.we get on soo well and he's realli cute although he is 10 years older he doesn't seem it infact he acts like a 16 year old boy. No matter what ...
A. 3 April 2010: There are no if's of but's. It won't happen. Ever.
1 - It's illegal since he is your teacher.
2 - You're a student, and he won't be interested.
3 - If you do say something, he could end up fired or you could end up in serious trouble at s... (read in full...)
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