| Latest articles: Subtle Signs of Emotional Abuse
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 June 2011: Lately, there have been a lot of posts relating to relationships that are going wrong because of Emotional Abuse (EA). There are often obvious signs of abuse such as shouting, use of cruel words, lack of love/affection, use of guilt etc. However, ...
Understanding Teenagers.
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
18 December 2010: We often see a lot of questions on Dear Cupid from parents trying to communicate or to make sense of their teenage children. I answered a question for a mother the other day, and was told that I should adapt it into an article (original thread ...
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I don't enjoy being unfaithful to my boyfriend but I cant stop seeing my cousin!
Q. Hi All, I have been in a relationship with my current boyfriend for eight years and we have a daughter who is three years old. I am comfortable with my life with my boyfriend and I do care for him, however I am not in love with him. Recently...
A. 9 April 2010: Seeing a cousin isn't incest. Incest is with a direct relative (parent/child/sibling). But it's important the OP leaves her boyfriend, whether he is the father or not, so he is able to move on. There is no use in her staying if she's just going to ... (read in full...)
I don't enjoy being unfaithful to my boyfriend but I cant stop seeing my cousin!
Q. Hi All, I have been in a relationship with my current boyfriend for eight years and we have a daughter who is three years old. I am comfortable with my life with my boyfriend and I do care for him, however I am not in love with him. Recently...
A. 8 April 2010: Leave your boyfriend, let it settle for a few months, then go back to the cousin. But please leave your boyfriend so he can find someone who does love him. ... (read in full...)
It started as a one-night-stand; now I'm wondering ...
Q. I've been single for two years and when I split up with my ex, three months later I met James. He was my first one night stand...this was two years ago and I last slept with him last weekend. We don't meet up regularly he often texts me and I say ...
A. 8 April 2010: You're a FWB, and that's it. I'm not sure you want this, so I think you'd be better off moving on now. He's not made any move to get closer to you. But he makes all the moves to get you into bed. Find yourself a good boyfriend. ... (read in full...)
Only attracted to older men
Q. Dear cupid I dont know why but i can only fall for older men. I have tried liking people my age but i just can't. i am in love with like 6 different guys (and obsessed with 1 guy) and i have no clue what to do and all of my friends are so sick of ...
A. 8 April 2010: Relax and enjoy fancying older men. Just be careful you don't end up used. There's nothing wrong with you. ... (read in full...)
Do people often record themselves having sex?
Q. My boyfriend and i were talking about trying new things in the bedroom. He brought up how he wants to film me giving him a blowjob. He then said, but thats a bit personal, i dont expect you to do it but id love to watch it over and over. Iam think...
A. 8 April 2010: I don't think it's a good idea. One argument or slip up and it could be all over the net.... (read in full...)
Advice re au pair jobs abroad!
Q. Hi. I'd really appreciate some advice on these job offers. I'd like to go and work abroad as an Au Pair. I'll write about both families, and you can tell me what you think. One of the families is from Switzerland. They have three kids , a girl...
A. 8 April 2010: Second job, without a doubt, First of all you won't be as tired with young kids running around, and you'd be able to earn extra money as well. I also like Italy :). Far more relaxed about everything! Go and enjoy Italy. :)... (read in full...)
My ex offered me a cruise. Do I take even though he's hoping we get back together?
Q. Since breaking up from my ex I have had feelings of relieve mainly because we no longer live together. After the dust had settled we have remained platonic and by choice are still not dating anyone else. My dilemma is whilst there are still raw emot...
A. 8 April 2010: You're not getting back together, so this will only lead to hurt. I think it would be best not to go. ... (read in full...)
What would happen if we were caught running away?
Q. okay, so i had to break up with my boyfriend, because my mother doesnt like the fact that he doesn't live near me, he lives about 30 minutes or so away from me, and i get to see him every weekend. and we've been dating for almost a year, and th...
A. 8 April 2010: It depends on what the age of consent for sex and living by yourself is in your state. If you're under 18, but you're allowed to live alone, then you can leave. But if it's illegal for you to leave, he will go to jail and be labelled as a sex ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with a jealous ex?
Q. Well, I dated this guy for about four months. Finally we broke up and he got all jealous and pissed off about it. Now everytime he texts me he says, " where you? who you with? Who are you dating?" and more. Everytime I see him, he gets jealous if ...
A. 8 April 2010: Cut all contact. Do not respond to his texts, but keep them as evidence. Do not respond to calls. Do not talk to him. If he continues to chase, warn him you will go to the police. If he still continues, go to the police.... (read in full...)
If he has not called in a month should I ring him or just move on?
Q. We hooked up at a party where we met 3 months ago and since then we have been going out on dates every week or every other week. And there have been a lot of making out with him. But we never made it official or talked about whether we are in a ...
A. 8 April 2010: When a man is interested, he will make an effort. He really will. this guy just isn't interested. Best to move on... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant! Can I rely on my boyfriend?
Q. okay so im 4-5 weeks pregnant, my boyfriend doesn't know im pregnant yet but he knows that i missed my period and even said he would want me to keep it if i was. so i tested and i am, i am going to tell him when im ready though. i have been thinking ...
A. 8 April 2010: You'll know more when you tell him, which you have to do. Drinking is one thing, but drugs are another. Sometimes a child on the way can wake people up, sometimes it doesn't do anything. One way or another though, he is going to be a father and you ... (read in full...)
Should I go on a date with a married man? He's so hot
Q. Hello guys I'm a 22 year old woman and well i was getting some work done waiting for the owner to get an estimate and this super hot guy walked in he kept checking me out so neways he was like your incredibly beautiful and I told him thanks he kept ...
A. 8 April 2010: No, he's married! Hot and all that won't up for the fact he is married and just wants to have sex with you before dumping you and leaving you hurt.... (read in full...)
She threatened to have an affair or go to a sperm bank to have another child
Q. My wife had a pituitary tumor that grew after she gave birth to our first. Another pregnancy would be risky. She asked what I thought about having another child. I said I voted no as I didn't want to lose her or take the chance of killing my ...
A. 8 April 2010: This is something that is in itself very sad. The first thing you need to understand is that it is about a hundred times harder for a woman to not want kids than a man, just because it's naturally biological. There are some women who don't have kids ... (read in full...)
He doesn't want what I want and I have fallen for him!
Q. DEAR CUPID I have been "dating/messing" around with this guy that works @ my job for two months now. He is 34 I am 22, in the beginning he told me he wasn’t really looking for anything serious but unfortunately I disregarded all of that and now I ...
A. 8 April 2010: The fact of the matter is he does not want what you want. So now it the moment to move on. Don't delay it anymore. You will get over him, and it will hurt less that if you continue like this and in another few years realize you've wasted several ... (read in full...)
Should I continue to pursue her when she's preoccupied with her friends and ex b/f?
Q. hi I've been going out with this girl for a year. ithe proble I have with her is what she's told me... She told me she cheated before choose friends over her man. Lied. She has a wicked attuite and hangs up . So also hangs out with her group of guy ...
A. 8 April 2010: I would leave this one well alone. Either you end up having to lose your friends, while she keeps her ex, or she'll cheat or choose everyone over you. Leave her well alone.... (read in full...)
He works 24/7 and either he's going to die or our marriage will!
Q. My husband is workaholic in denial. It slowly destroyed our marriage, what was 25 year long so far. His absence was causing lots of pain,and created a dysfunctional unhappy family..No, I'm not blaming everything on him,but I always tried to fix t...
A. 7 April 2010: He's not going to change. I know this because my girlfriend was in a marriage much like yours, and in the end she had to end it because no matter what she did, it was going nowhere. You're past trying to tell him what's wrong. It's now time to give ... (read in full...)
Since I cheated on her, she won't say that she loves me! What can I do?
Q. ok so i feel horrible for this but i cheated on my gf but she said she loved me enough that she would give me another chance but she wants me to still say 'i love you' to her but she wont say it back for a while until she fully trusts me again. I ...
A. 7 April 2010: Keep proving to her that you're worth those words. You cheated, so of course she's not going to say it until she's ready. And if you want this to work, you have to have patience with her. This is the price of cheating. She's at least still going out ... (read in full...)
Will he find me unattractive in person?
Q. Hello Thanks for reading this, I will try and keep it brief. I joined an internet dating site, and got chatting to a lovely guy for a few weeks, then moved on to texting, emailing and then a few phonecalls. This has been going on for a little ov...
A. 7 April 2010: He knows everything, so I don't think it matters to him. I'm sure it will be fine, and you'll have a great time. Just be safe and maybe tell someone you'll be out on a date in case you need a lift or anything like that. Have fun. ... (read in full...)
Embarrassing moment from my past--afraid this guy on facebook will spill it!
Q. Embarrassing moment - This is not a cry for help - just wanting to know how to get over an embarrassing moment and avoid being a laughing stock. The thing is - when I was a teenager (a few years ago now) teenagers were'nt as aware of things as they ...
A. 7 April 2010: Realistically, I doubt he cares, and I doubt he said anything either. Chances are he doesn't even remember. ... (read in full...)
Will he still chase after me after I sent him a text saying "Delete my numnber"?
Q. I met a guy I really like, was seeing him intensively for about a month, but then I went away for a month to Thailand. When I returned I saw him once and then he didn't speak to me again for three weeks. I was upset as we were becoming quite close ...
A. 7 April 2010: I don't think so. If he wasn't bothered before, he won't suddenly be bothered now to be honest. You'd do better moving on... (read in full...)
It's been almost a week and he still hasn't called...
Q. My friend and her boyfriend have been trying to set me up with a friend of his for awhile now. For about a month we had a hard time all getting together because he works two jobs and I have crazy long work hours myself. Finally last week, she called ...
A. 7 April 2010: No matter how much a man has on in his life, if he is interested, he will make effort one way or another. If he has not called by Monday, then he's not interested and you should move on.... (read in full...)
Why did my ex register me with dating sites?
Q. Please can anyone out there tell me why my ex would constantly accuse me of going to dating sites whilst we were together,which i did not unless it was to remove my details when we got back together.i recently discovered that my name,age and ...
A. 7 April 2010: I'm so glad you said he was an ex. He has major league mental issues. Basically, he did it out of spite. Just stay well away from him, or you'll be one of those many abused women. ... (read in full...)
I have bad luck with relationships! Will I ever find true love?
Q. dear cupid, I am a 34 year old female with very bad luck in love. Sometimes I think its my karma, because when i was 14 years old, I betrayed someone's trust, the biggest mistake of my life. Anyway, I have only had unhappy(at best) or horribl...
A. 7 April 2010: You remember that time you first hurt someone? What was it that caused you to do that? Was it low esteem, low confidence? A lot of people pick partners who beneath them because they either think they're not good enough for better, or they don't have ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend talks to himself! Should I be disturbed about this?
Q. My boyfriend talks to himself. If I would have known this when we first met two years ago, I would have never talked to him. It disturbs me and he sees talking to himself as being more intellectually intuned than other humans. I have no clue what to ...
A. 7 April 2010: The gemini thing has nothing to do with this. They often say that talking to yourself is a sign of insanity. That's not true. But what is true is that it can be s sign that he has a huge amount on his mind, that could lead to a breakdown. I think ... (read in full...)
Ready to lose virginity at 13, everyone else has!
Q. MOD NOTE: Age posted is not right, poster says they are 13, NOT 19) hi. im greenpink, im 13 years old (i'll be 14 in may) and i think that i am ready to loose my virginty. we just offically met a few days ago (through mutual friends) but i have bee...
A. 7 April 2010: I don't think you're ready, and since you're asking the question here, I'm not sure you think you're ready either. There is not rush to lose your virginity. A lot of people will tell you on here to wait, because they did lose it early to the wrong ... (read in full...)
Do men only want women in their 20's?
Q. Do men only want women in their 20's? What happens when you get to 30, 40 or even 50? What happens then? Will all the guys be busy chasing all the hot young 20 year olds and ignore the older women? So guys- who do you prefer?Women your own age...
A. 7 April 2010: It's just the media. If an older guy is going out with a woman in her twenties and he happens to be famous, then it makes for a good story that will sell.... (read in full...)
Do I write a letter of closure to my ex? He has a way of coming back in my life when things settle down!
Q. I have been thinking of writing a letter of closure and don't know what to do.I feel as if it will make me feel better and yet no matter who I ask, they all say just leave it.my ex promised me the earth,and I was so taken in by him that I ended my ...
A. 7 April 2010: Esteem usually accounts for a lot of choices like this. So work on yourself, and try to build that esteem back up. That's a start. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend Does Not Let His Exes Know About Me
Q. My boyfriend and I are in a serious, committed, relationship. But there is one problem.. he stays in contact with a lot of his exes constantly. I've learn to deal with that, but the big problem is that he NEVER tells them about me. For example, ...
A. 7 April 2010: No, he doesn't does he. Which means there is a high chance that he's keeping his options open. Which means there's a high chance this won't work out. If you can handle being just a 'partner' to this guy, then you'll be fine. But if you're looking ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend makes fun of my boobs
Q. My boyfriend has this obsession with boobs. He is constantly grabbing mine. In the beginning, when we were first dating.. he grabbed mine and said "These are D cups". He claimed to be an "expert" in boobs. The last woman he was with before me ...
A. 7 April 2010: He's an expert in being a complete ass, that's what he is. There's nothing wrong with you at all. It's just that I'm sad to say you picked the joker of the pack on this one. Dump him.... (read in full...)
Is it fair to ask my handyman boyfriend to paint for free?
Q. My boyfiend of 5 years is a handy man on the side I have asked him to paint my kitchen and he said he would give me an estimate Is it unfair to ask him to do it for free or what is a reasonable labor cost? I dont mind paying but.... ...
A. 7 April 2010: Well it would be nice if he did it for free, wouldn't it? My girlfriend has asked me to do a few things in her house (I'm a plumber), and wanted to pay. I wouldn't accept the money. Perhaps it's worth reconsidering the relationship. ... (read in full...)
Why did he break up with me if he likes me so much?
Q. I don't understand him. My boyfriend has just broken up with me because he needs 'space' as he wants to do his own thing and is not yet ready for a serious relationship. I find this really confusing because it was only yesterday when we was t...
A. 7 April 2010: He's just not ready. No matter how much a guy claims to like you, if he's not ready, he's just not ready. Chances are he was never really over his fiancé, and that's why he wouldn't have sex or anything like that. He's not past his ex, and needs to ... (read in full...)
Do I write a letter of closure to my ex? He has a way of coming back in my life when things settle down!
Q. I have been thinking of writing a letter of closure and don't know what to do.I feel as if it will make me feel better and yet no matter who I ask, they all say just leave it.my ex promised me the earth,and I was so taken in by him that I ended my ...
A. 7 April 2010: No, don't write a letter. Sadly I don't think a man who cheats and treats people like dirt is the kind of men to take notice of a letter. You need to look at your own life carefully and ask yourself why you keep falling for the lies this lousy ... (read in full...)
I want a relationship, but he wants no-strings sex!
Q. I have met this nice lookin guy he says his single but just got out of relationship like 3months ago. We wanted to see each other so I invited him to my house to chill and watch TV. Why did I do that ? He was tryna touch me all over kissing me on ...
A. 6 April 2010: You won't get him to notice. He's not interested in anything other than sex, and to sit there and hope he will change is a waste of time. He won't. ... (read in full...)
Could my husband sue?
Q. I've been having an affair with a man for 8 or 9 months. Last month, I became pregnant with his baby, but I recently had a miscarriage. Because of that situation, my husband found out. He knows everything at this point and has obtained all the ...
A. 6 April 2010: It could certainly cause a massive scandal and ruin him that way. There are a few states in America that allow someone to sue the person they name as having wrecked the marriage. Not all, but some. So you may need to do a little research. I read ... (read in full...)
Is being on top less like to get a girl pregnant?
Q. Hey my friend told me if a girl is on top during sex its less likely to get pregnit with out a condom is that true?...
A. 6 April 2010: Not true. Sperm are tough and are Olympic swimmers when it comes down it it. ... (read in full...)
Do men only want women in their 20's?
Q. Do men only want women in their 20's? What happens when you get to 30, 40 or even 50? What happens then? Will all the guys be busy chasing all the hot young 20 year olds and ignore the older women? So guys- who do you prefer?Women your own age...
A. 6 April 2010: My girlfriend's older than me. I don't really care about age so long as they're genuine. I find woman in their 20's (my age) pretty boring to be honest. I think it's a case that when some men get older they worry that they're losing their sex ... (read in full...)
A woman says she was with my husband, but he denies it
Q. I think im going to leave my husband because I can't take it anymore. About this women that keeps sending me messages about him. I think he was with her last year when he went on a trip to florida. And we had just moved into our house. She keeps ...
A. 6 April 2010: You have to decide yourself whether this woman is telling the truth or not. You only have her word, and nothing else. He won't admit it if he has done it, because he knows you have nothing else. So you need to sit down and think about whether you ... (read in full...)
3 years of dating and he says I'm beautiful but he's not attracted to me because I'm a bitch!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 3 years, been living together for 2. About 6 months ago, I had reason to believe he was cheating on me and I became very suspicious of him. I would acuse him of things often and ask him questions that ...
A. 6 April 2010: The big (and I do mean big) problem here is that you accused him of cheating and it turns out he hasn't. You can't take that back now, and he thinks you don't trust him or love him, which is why he's turned off. I would suggest talking to him and ... (read in full...)
Involved with much younger sister in law and now we broke up, should I try to get her back?
Q. I posted my problem on here last year and got really lambasted. I was having a clandestine relationship with my step-sister and she was 25 years younger than I. She is 18, I am 43. Our parents are not actually married but obviously, our links to the ...
A. 6 April 2010: Let her go. This is something that can only go wrong from now. It wasn't really working, and nothing can change that at all. Let her go. ... (read in full...)
I'm late for first time, could I finally be pregnant?
Q. im 20 and have been with my man for 2 years. its been nine months since we started having sex without using anything (we do want a baby), we have sex a few times during the week, and at weekends we do it like 2-3 times in one day, he usually does ...
A. 6 April 2010: It's possible, but it could be something else. You need to take that test to be sure! Good luck. ... (read in full...)
I cheated, we broke up but are still seeing each other, should I end it?
Q. i cheated on my boyfriend and we have been together for a while but he asked for sometime apart but we are doing everything we did when we were together except kiss what should i do move on or stay because i was the one who messed up...
A. 6 April 2010: I think you need to give him more time, and make it clear that you need him to be sure how he feels. It might be that he is still working out how he feels, and is nervous about getting involved again. So ask him to take time to think about whether ... (read in full...)
Should I go with my best friend to the prom since his girlfriend can't go?
Q. My 2 bestfriends are dating each, one is a senior and the other is a freshman, prom is comming up and she can't go with him because her mom won't allow it. So he's been getting upset since he couldn't find someone to take to prom, so I mentioned to ...
A. 6 April 2010: Hmm. I'm not sure you should, for the sake of your friend. She might just get a little insecure about it. He doesn't need to go with someone. ... (read in full...)
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